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Dealing With Your Ex Partner and Child Moving Away

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 12 Oct 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Ex-partner Child Moving

We all know that lives change. In a society that’s become more and more mobile, moving homes, moving cities and even countries, has become fairly commonplace. But if your kids live with your former partner and she has to move away, how do you deal with that?

The move could be work related, or perhaps because her new partner has a job somewhere else, at the other end of the country. What are the ramifications?

Within The UK

An awful lot is going to depend on the type of relationship you have with your ex. If it’s good, then when she moves you’ll be able to re-negotiate contact with your children. It might be that you don’t see them as often, but when you do it’s for a longer period.

If they’ve been spending a few nights a week with you, it can be especially bad, since you won’t have their presence regularly, which you’re used to. But your ex isn’t legally obliged to live near you.

If the relationship is bad, you might need to apply for a change in your Contact Order. This can be a gruelling procedure, not to mention expensive, since you’ll want to have a solicitor to represent you, although you may be able to come to an Agreement Through Mediation. You will still be expected to Pay Child Support as before.

Emotional Impact

Perhaps the biggest factor to deal with is the emotional impact. You should arrange plenty of phone contact with your children, daily if at all possible, so they still feel that you’re involved in their lives (and so you feel that way, too) and try to see them as often as possible. If you can arrange a trip to see them once a month, that’s good, but not economically viable for many people.

School holidays would be the best time to see them, when you might be able to have them for a week – or even several weeks in the summer, if you can negotiate this. Of course, wonderful as it sounds, the practicalities can be real obstacles; after all, you still have to work, and there’s only so much holiday time you can take each year. You need to try to find a balance that works for you.

Going Abroad

But what happens if your ex wants to Move Abroad with your kids? She might be a foreign national, for example, and want to move home, or she might have married someone from another country and be moving. What can you do in the situation where your kids are taken even farther away from you?

Essentially, you have two choices. You can either accept the fact and come to some agreement about when the children can spend time with you or you can fight the move in the courts. If you follow the first route and come to an agreement, have it in writing and legally validated. It should include the number of visits per year and their length. Also, make sure to include who is responsible for airfares, which can avoid tumultuous arguments later. If you’re paying child support, you should try to have a provision saying you don’t have to pay for the period the kids are living with you.

Should you choose to fight the move in court, you will be battling for custody of your kids. This is only going to work if you have parental responsibility for the children (that is, if you’re named as the father on the birth certificate or have a parental responsibility agreement). If not, it’s not worth the effort, because you won’t win.

Rather than the distress this will cause you, what you’ll need to show is how it will adversely affect the kids. If the proposed move is to a non English-speaking country, for example, and your children are in school and have grown up speaking English, you’ll want to cite that – especially if they are in their early teens. You’ll need to develop a valid argument, preferably several, and be well represented in court.

If your ex does move the kids overseas, you’ll feel the loss even more than if they’re just elsewhere in the UK. Use as many different methods of contact as you can to keep in touch with them, daily if possible. It’s not an ideal substitute, but it really is better than nothing at all.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Gttm - Your Question:
I have daughter 8years old my ex girlfriend and she lives in London Separate 4yearsPaying child supportAll 4 years was verbal agree daughter will stay with me on holiday which is was Manage to do up and down all this yearsWas everything ok since September this yearsWhen back from Spain holiday my ex told me she will move from uk and I won't see my girlI am okif their moved to my ex mother country but if not I want to know we my daughter will growAnd want to let her feel safe if something happen she always have me Feeling scare won't see her againEvent this year my ex won't let me come on my girl birthday becouse 4 years ago she put me in court can't come no where 100m of her (ofcourse I was meeting my ex and daughter all the time )I don't mind their moves I just want to know when and where my girl will liveI am PR my name is ion birth certificate Went to solicitor and she send court order for prehibited steps order But me based in north east U.K. So court hearing will be in London Can't afford take my solicitors to London to be in court What can I do ? Can I present myself in court ? Can I find solicitor in London for coming to court with me?Is my new partner cam speak for in court for me?(my English not a good)

Our Response:
You can represent yourself in court (which will save you on legal fees), please see link here. You may wish to register with our Separated Dads forum where you will be able to request helpful advice from dads who have represented themselves in court. Citizens Advice may be able to offer assistance with case preparation and advise what you can do in terms of the language restriction.
SeparatedDads - 13-Oct-17 @ 3:30 PM
I have daughter 8years old my ex girlfriend and she lives in London Separate 4years Paying child support All 4 years was verbal agree daughter will stay with me on holiday which is was Manage to do up and down all this years Was everything ok since September this years When back from Spain holiday my ex told me she will move from uk and I won't see my girl I am okif their moved to my ex mother country but if not I want to know we my daughter will grow And want to let her feel safe if something happen she always have me Feeling scare won't see her again Event this year my ex won't let me come on my girl birthday becouse 4 years ago she put me in court can't come no where 100m of her (ofcourse I was meeting my ex and daughter all the time ) I don't mind their moves I just want to know when and where my girl will live I am PR my name is ion birth certificate Went to solicitor and she send court order for prehibited steps order But me based in north east U.K. So court hearing will be in London Can't afford take my solicitors to London to be in court What can I do ? Can I present myself in court ? Can I find solicitor in London for coming to court with me?Is my new partner cam speak for in court for me?(my English not a good)
Gttm - 12-Oct-17 @ 9:57 PM
dad - Your Question:
Hi,My ex-partner (mother of my 4-year-old girl) moved away to live with her present partner, which is approx 60miles away, about a 1 hour and 10 mins one-way journey time. The verbal agreement was one of us makes the first journey and other next (for example I would drive through Friday and she picks up on Saturday). Obviously, she isn't happy with making a journey now so I have to do both trips, I think this is unfair on both me and my daughter as a lot of our time is spent in the car. I have tried speaking to her but apparently, it's not good enough. She has me over a barrel as I have to go pick her or I don't see her and I have to drop her back off because I don't want my daughter to miss school. Only thing I have over her is the CSA money I give her, I told her that I will be taking money off her support for the fuel. But I don't think I actually can (just said it to see if she would say fine ill travel through - but no dice) Any advice? Thanks

Our Response:
Firstly, your best option is to try and resolve this with your ex directly. Perhaps you could mention both meeting halfway, each way. If your ex refuses to listen, then you may wish to suggest mediation. Or, a solicitor's letter specifying that as you agreed to consent to your ex moving away with your child (if you have Parental Responsibility your ex has to request consent), on the premis that you would share the pick-up and drop offs, then your ex is breaching the agreement and you will have no hesitation in taking the matter to court if she refuses to attend mediation. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. If you apply under a Specific Issue Order, the court can request that your ex shares the journey. However, there is little you can do, for instance, if your ex doesn't have a car or any mode of transport. There is no point in restricting the payment of child maintenance as you will only be hit with arrears down the line and have to pay it back, so in this case you are shooting yourself in the foot by refusing to pay. The most you can request is a variation, please see linkhere .
SeparatedDads - 3-Oct-17 @ 2:43 PM
Hi, My ex-partner (mother of my 4-year-old girl) moved away to live with her present partner, which is approx 60miles away, about a 1 hour and 10 mins one-way journey time. The verbal agreement was one of us makes the first journey and other next (for example I would drive through Friday and she picks up on Saturday). Obviously, she isn't happy with making a journey now so I have to do both trips, I think this is unfair on both me and my daughter as a lot of our time is spent in the car. I have tried speaking to her but apparently, it's not good enough. She has me over a barrel as I have to go pick her or I don't see her and I have to drop her back off because I don't want my daughter to miss school. Only thing I have over her is the CSA money I give her, I told her that I will be taking money off her support for the fuel. But I don't think I actually can (just said it to see if she would say fine ill travel through - but no dice) Any advice? Thanks
dad - 29-Sep-17 @ 11:24 AM
Jennie - Your Question:
I'd like to start by saying this has been helpful although I'd like to say this is very gender specific. I am the children's mother and due to a breakdown of the marriage and a personal mental breakdown I was the one removed from the children and our home. I am now better but not in a financial position nor am I in suitable housing accommodation to have my children live with me. I live in London and my ex is planning to move away to Devon before Christmas. I'm devastated and broken and I am going to find it extremely difficult without my daughters

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. It is gender-specific, as the site is Separated Dads and aimed at fathers who more often than not are the non-resident parent. As you have parental responsibility, then your ex has to request your consent to move out of the area. If you do not give your consent, he would have to apply to court for permission. If you fear your ex may try to move without your consent, you can pre-empt this by applying for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO, is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. However, as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. This means you would have to try to justify why it was not in your children's best interests to remove them from the area i.e family ties, schooling, support etc. Your ex would have to argue why it is in the children's best interests to move. A court will generally not stop a person from trying to get on with their lives, but if it thought your ex was moving from the area with no valid or justifiable reason, then the court can issue and order to prevent the move. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 28-Sep-17 @ 10:45 AM
I'd like to start by saying this has been helpful although I'd like to say this is very gender specific ... I am the children's mother and due to a breakdown of the marriage and a personal mental breakdown I was the one removed from the children and our home .... I am now better but not in a financial position nor am I in suitable housing accommodation to have my children live with me ... I live in London and my ex is planning to move away to Devon before Christmas... I'm devastated and broken and I am going to find it extremely difficult without my daughters
Jennie - 27-Sep-17 @ 9:59 AM
Bigluk78 - Your Question:
HiMy partner and I had an baby on the uk 6 months ago. I am uk citizen and the baby has a uk passport. She has a eu passport. She has been suffering from post natal depression and we are in her home country. She has now said she wants to recover in her home country but had no timescale when she wants to come back. I obviously want her to recover but am concerned if she decides she wants to stay permanently and what my rights are as I am unable to stay due to my work commitments in the uk.

Our Response:
There is little you can do to force your partner to return to the UK with you and your child. Neither would you be able to remove your child from your partner's home country without her consent. If your partner refuses to return home, you would have to take the matter to court to determine with whom your child should live. However, it will be far more difficult for you to get an active decision to take your child back to the UK. The courts are more likely to allow your partner to remain as the primary carer of your child within her home country with you (if you leave to return to the UK) awarded periodical access.
SeparatedDads - 22-Sep-17 @ 12:55 PM
Hi My partner and I had an baby on the uk 6 months ago. I am uk citizen and the baby has a uk passport. She has a eu passport. She has been suffering from post natal depression and we are in her home country. She has now said she wants to recover in her home country but had no timescale when she wants to come back. I obviously want her to recover but am concerned if she decides she wants to stay permanently and what my rights are as I am unable to stay due to my work commitments in the uk.
Bigluk78 - 19-Sep-17 @ 6:29 PM
codenamepj - Your Question:
I am a recovering alcoholic and cocaine addict. I put my family through HELL during my addiction. I am now 12 months clean and looking at steps to be back in my daughter's life again. my ex, for my daughter's safety, is reluctant for me to see her. which I understand as she only my sees the damage I caused and not what position I am in now.what are my options? do I have a right to see my daughter? I am currently not paying CSA as I have been unemployed and it is in arrears, however it is in the process of being taken from my benefits. does this effect my right to see my daughter? there is also the fact that my daughter may not be ready to see me, she's 10 years old.any advice is appreciated.Thanks.

Our Response:
Regardless of your past and whether you pay child maintenance or not, you still have the right to apply to see your daughter. Your first option is to ask your ex to attend mediation. If she refuses, you would have to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. It may be that if you are allowed contact, you would in the first instance be allowed contact through a contact centre or another supervised way building up to unsupervised contact. However, this is pure conjecture. It may be likely that Cafcass would get involved, please see link here . If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate, please see link here . Likewise, if you cannot afford court costs, you may get a reduction, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 8-Sep-17 @ 11:17 AM
I am a recovering alcoholic and cocaine addict. I put my family through HELL during my addiction. I am now 12 months clean and looking at steps to be back in my daughter's life again. my ex, for my daughter's safety, is reluctant for me to see her. which I understand as she only my sees the damage I caused and not what position I am in now. what are my options? do I have a right to see my daughter? I am currently not paying CSA as I have been unemployed and it is in arrears, however it is in the process of being taken from my benefits. does this effect my right to see my daughter? there is also the fact that my daughter may not be ready to see me, she's 10 years old. any advice is appreciated. Thanks.
codenamepj - 7-Sep-17 @ 2:07 PM
Ant - Your Question:
Hi I've got a son who's 4 lives with his mother, when we split up it was ok at first I was seeing him at weekends then we argued one weekend outside my place in front of people, and next thing I know getting accused of domestic violence and abuse of harrassment! I got cleared of all charges but she's blocked everyway of contacting her on social media and moved away with my son! Don't know where he is her family not saying where she's moved too! My gut feeling she's took him back to Scotland where she's from and family life can she do that without my permission, and I've tried solicitors to help gain contact they say going cost around £1,500 to £3,000 grand get contact and arrangements I can not afford that. Is there any other way or advice can give me please.

Our Response:
Getting your child back when the other parent has moved can be tricky. Your ex, by law, should have asked your permission. However, once settled it may be difficult for the court to argue why your ex should return. Your only recourse would be to apply to court for a child arrangement C100 contact order via the courts along with a C4 form. This is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts, which will allow the court to put a trace on your child so you to bring the matter to court. If you cannot afford legal representation you can self-litigate, please see link here . You may also be able to get a reduction in court fees if you are on a low income, please see link here . I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 7-Sep-17 @ 12:09 PM
Hi I've got a son who's 4 lives with his mother, when we split up it was ok at first I was seeing him at weekends then we argued one weekend outside my place in front of people, and next thing I know getting accused of domestic violence and abuse of harrassment! I got cleared of all charges but she's blocked everyway of contacting her on social media and moved away with my son! Don't know where he is her family not saying where she's moved too! My gut feeling she's took him back to Scotland where she's from and family life can she do that without my permission, andI've tried solicitors to help gain contact they say going cost around £1,500 to £3,000 grand get contact and arrangements I can not afford that. Is there any other way or advice can give me please.
Ant - 6-Sep-17 @ 6:13 PM
And - Your Question:
I separated from my ex 18months ago and she decided when we split she would move 100miles away to be near her family. It was agreed I would see my son every other weekend, the problem is a 200mile round trip on a Friday afternoon/evening can take 5 hours if not more. Apart from applying to take travel costs into consideration with csa payments is there anything else that can be done, i.e she drives half n hour to meet me to cut down sitting in traffic for my son ??

Our Response:
Your only recourse would be to ask her to attend mediation about splitting the travel arrangements if you cannot agree between yourselves. Court is the last resort if your ex refuses to negotiate.The court will then decide on your behalf. Therefore, negotiation is key here.
SeparatedDads - 5-Sep-17 @ 10:57 AM
I separated from my ex 18months ago and she decided when we split she would move 100miles away to be near her family. It was agreed I would see my son every other weekend, the problem is a 200mile round trip on a Friday afternoon/evening can take 5 hours if not more. Apart from applying to take travel costs into consideration with csa payments is there anything else that can be done, i.e she drives half n hour to meet me to cut down sitting in traffic for my son ??
And - 4-Sep-17 @ 5:30 PM
Zink- Your Question:
Hi I have a 2 kids with my x partner and we live same town she fined sum one on facebfacebook she want to move his city is she can take my kids to his city. She let's me see kids any time I help her everthing finans or any help but I don't want my kids go that city can I stop them my kids age 4.and 5 years we very close with my kids

Our Response:
If you have parental responsibility of your children, then your ex would have to request your consent to move and if you refuse apply to court. However, if you feel she may move without your consent, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. A PSO,is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. However, as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 4-Sep-17 @ 3:07 PM
Jkdab - Your Question:
Hi, my and my partner are at a stage where I just dont want to be with her any more, but we have 2 children and im just un happy, tried to give it time, but it is just not working. The downside is we live in the uk, and she is from ireland and all her family are still living their. Im worried about what happens to my children if we split up and she decided to up and leave back to ireland? Is she allowed to do that? Because the thought of only seeing my kids a few times a year is killing me as I couldnt cope without them, its not like she'd be moving a few miles away, its a whole different country where I couldnt just see them a few times a week(if I could afford too I would but flying and hotels would cost q bomb all the time)

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If you separate from your partner and you have parental responsibility and your partner becomes the primary carer, she would have to request your permission to move to Ireland. However, if you refuse, she would have the option to apply to court and as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. In all likelihood, if she can justify her reasons why she wishes to make the move i.e family support etc, then there is a good chance the court would allow this.
SeparatedDads - 4-Sep-17 @ 2:51 PM
Hi I have a 2 kids with my x partner and we live same town she fined sum one on facebfacebook she want to move his city is she can take my kids to his city. She let's me see kids any time I help her everthing finans or any help but I don't want my kids go that city can I stop them my kids age 4.and 5 years we very close with my kids
Zink - 2-Sep-17 @ 2:30 PM
Hi, my and my partner are at a stage where i just dont want to be with her any more, but we have 2 children and im just un happy, tried to give it time, but it is just not working. The downside is we live in the uk, and she is from ireland and all her family are still living their. Im worried about what happens to my children if we split up and she decided to up and leave back to ireland? Is she allowed to do that? Because the thought of only seeing my kids a few times a year is killing me as i couldnt cope without them, its not like she'd be moving a few miles away, its a whole different country where i couldnt just see them a few times a week(if i could afford too i would but flying and hotels would cost q bomb all the time)
Jkdab - 2-Sep-17 @ 1:09 PM
Legz1973 - Your Question:
Hi we are from uk my son split up from his girlfriend about 3 1/2 years ago he is settled with someone else now his ex went on holiday to turkey 2 weeks ago and met her new fella who lives there now she has come back and told my son she is taking there son and moving there , my son is devasted as he has him more than half the time what are his rights he is on the birth certificate thanks

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your son has shared-care of his son and wishes to try to prevent his ex from taking his son out of the country, there are moves he can make. Firstly, your son's ex has to request his permission to take his son from the country, please see link here . If he feels his ex may take his son without permission, then he can apply through the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Alternatively, your son could ask to become the primary carer and apply to court for a child arrangement order, or a specific issue order, please see link here , and here . You don't say how old his son is, but if he is older and is established in school and has strong family links, then there is an argument for your son to request that his son remains with him. As in all situations such as this, mutual negotiation with his ex and agreement should always be explored first via discussion or mediation. Court would be seen as the last resort.
SeparatedDads - 25-Aug-17 @ 10:55 AM
Hi we are from ukmy son split up from his girlfriend about 3 1/2 years ago he is settled with someone else now his ex went on holiday to turkey 2 weeks ago and met her new fella who lives there now she has come back and told my son she is taking there son and moving there , my son is devasted as he has him more than half the time what are his rights he is on the birth certificate thanks
Legz1973 - 24-Aug-17 @ 10:52 AM
Muzza - Your Question:
My now x and I have had a server relationship break down. We have a 2 year old son together who always asks for me when he wakes up or to do well anything. Rather than favouritism I think it's because I'm always here looking after him as well as working 50+ hours.She has decided she wishes to move from London to Newcastle to be near her grandparents! (6-8 drive). That would make contact ridiculous. Maybe once every 2 weeks maximun probably once every month realistically due to cost time etc.Is there anything I can do? Surely that's got to be unfair or unjust in some or most aspects?

Our Response:
As specified in the article, mutual discussion with your ex is the best way forward and if you cannot agree between you, mediation is the next step, please see link here. I understand that it may be difficult for you as a father, but the last resort in a situation such as this is applying to court for a Prohibited Steps Order. If you think your ex may leave without your consent (if you have parental responsibility), then the PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. However, there is no guarantee a court will rule in your favour. The court will always decide upon what it feels is in the best interests of your child. However, it will also take in the personal circumstances of your ex and much depends upon whether she can justify the reasons of moving out of the area, help from family, financial reasons etc. Likewise, it will take into consideration the ties your child has to you and family etc. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s welfare first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 28-Jul-17 @ 11:06 AM
My now x and I have had a server relationship break down. We have a 2 year old son together who always asks for me when he wakes up or to do well anything. Rather than favouritism I think it's because I'm always here looking after him as well as working 50+ hours. She has decided she wishes to move from London to Newcastle to be near her grandparents! (6-8 drive). That would make contact ridiculous. Maybe once every 2 weeks maximun probably once every month realistically due to cost time etc. Is there anything I can do? Surely that's got to be unfair or unjust in some or most aspects?
Muzza - 26-Jul-17 @ 8:24 PM
Im after some advice if possible please... my wife and i are currently separating. Everything is amicable at the moment. We have agreed its in the best interest of the children to stay in the matrimonial home with their mum. We have also agreed that i see them 6 out of 14 days. Is it worth anything if i get this in writing, or does it need to go through solicitors.? I do not want her to change her mind later down the line and find out that our agreement is worthless. Thanks
Nj - 5-Jun-17 @ 11:29 PM
I splitup with my girlfiriend of 5 years quite a while ago and just recently found out shes seeing someone andits left me heartbroken! (We have a little boy together)Just want to know how people get through this. i just cant stand to think she and my little boy will settle down with someone else when i really hoped and thoughtthings would work out ?? I feel like ive hit rock bottom And it hurts so much! I thinkf i may been suffering with depressiom now as all sorts of scary things are running through my head. Really need some help amd advise of people who have beem through this. Thanks x
Ash - 5-Jun-17 @ 7:20 PM
My partner has a 4 yr old child with her ex husband. Currently he sees the child fortnightly over the weekend, and sometimes longer with pre arrangement. We live roughly 30 mins from him. We have decided to move 1.5hrs away due to a job opportunity for my partner that will allow us a better quality of life. We informed her ex by email that this was a possibility 3 weeks ago (when it became a option we were seriously considering) and have now informed him that we are going ahead with the plan. We have offered to bring the child to him every fortnight so that their time together does not change, and said we will obviously look at longer periods and how they will be facilitated on a time by time basis. We want to move before the child starts school in September. As was expected, the ex isn't happy that we are moving. What is the law in this situation?
Scotty - 5-Jun-17 @ 9:20 AM
Mummyof3 - Your Question:
My husband I have had a very rocky relationship for just over three years. He leaves me all the time as a way of controlling me and sometimes he's abusive.I can't keep going back to this, I can't keep dragging my children through it.I have decided I want to move away to Cornwall to be with my family as I have no family support network where I live now (we live in the east midlands).I just wondered if I have to have my ex husbands permission to take the children or if he could stop me from doing this?

Our Response:
By law you would have to ask for your ex's consent. If he will not give it, you can suggest mediation as a way of trying to resolve the issue out of court, if he refuses you would have to apply to court. If you move without your ex's consent, if he chooses to take the matter to court, a court will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your child with regards to forcing you by law move back to the area.
SeparatedDads - 1-Jun-17 @ 12:25 PM
My husband I have had a very rocky relationship for just over three years. He leaves me all the time as a way of controlling me and sometimes he's abusive. I can't keep going back to this, I can't keep dragging my children through it. I have decided I want to move away to Cornwall to be with my family as I have no family support network where I live now (we live in the east midlands). I just wondered if I have to have my ex husbands permission to take the children or if he could stop me from doing this?
Mummyof3 - 31-May-17 @ 8:24 PM
@Libby21 - if your ex refuses you would have to apply to court if you want to make this happen. It's not an unreasonable request and the courts don't want to stop you trying to get on with your life. If you're willing to put a good access plan in place - the court won't stop you moving. Tell your ex you would much rather do it with his consent and maybe offer a signed agreement through mediation. Tell him to get some legal advice as it's likely a solicitor would tell him he can't really object. Your son will be able to give his opinion now because of his age. T.
TomGood78 - 25-May-17 @ 2:27 PM
LondonDad - Your Question:
My partner and I separated over 2 years ago. we have three children (3, 6, 8) and I have been travelling from London to Wales every other weekend to have the kids. I am lucky enough to have a house in Wales where I can have the kids over.Now my ex has informed me that it is her intent to move back to her native New Zealand at some time in near future taking the children with her. We are not yet divorced and are still working through finacial arrangements with a mediator. Obviously I am keen to continue having a relationship with my children but this is possibly the worst move I can think of given time zone and geographical distance.While I am trying to keep the separation as amicable as possible this suggestion from my ex has really made life uncomfortable and I am not sure how to proceed in discussions with her both from a financial perspective and from a legal stand point. What are my options for maintaining contact with the children and what are my future financial options given that I will be spending a lot of money each year just to keep in touch.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Much depends upon whether you wish to agree a solution or attempt to stop the move via a Prohibited Steps Order. Mediation is the better alternative if you feel you don't want to stop your ex, but need some kind of re-assurance that access to your children will be continued. It is obviously a massive emotional jolt to you and you may wish to seek legal advice about whether a PSO is something you might consider applying for. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 22-May-17 @ 2:42 PM
My partner and i separated over 2 years ago. we have three children (3, 6, 8) and i have been travelling from London to Wales every other weekend to have the kids. I am lucky enough to have a house in Wales where i can have the kids over. Now my ex has informed me that it is her intent to move back to her native New Zealand at some time in near future taking the children with her. We are not yet divorced and are still working through finacial arrangements with a mediator. Obviously i am keen to continue having a relationship with my children but this is possibly the worst move i can think of given time zone and geographical distance. While i am trying to keep the separation as amicable as possible this suggestion from my ex has really made life uncomfortable and i am not sure how to proceed in discussions with her both from a financial perspective and from a legal stand point. What are my options for maintaining contact with the children and what are my future financial options given that i will be spending a lot of money each year just to keep in touch.
LondonDad - 22-May-17 @ 12:05 PM
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