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Dealing With Your Ex Partner and Child Moving Away

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 26 Apr 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Ex-partner Child Moving

We all know that lives change. In a society that’s become more and more mobile, moving homes, moving cities and even countries, has become fairly commonplace. But if your kids live with your former partner and she has to move away, how do you deal with that?

The move could be work related, or perhaps because her new partner has a job somewhere else, at the other end of the country. What are the ramifications?

Within The UK

An awful lot is going to depend on the type of relationship you have with your ex. If it’s good, then when she moves you’ll be able to re-negotiate contact with your children. It might be that you don’t see them as often, but when you do it’s for a longer period.

If they’ve been spending a few nights a week with you, it can be especially bad, since you won’t have their presence regularly, which you’re used to. But your ex isn’t legally obliged to live near you.

If the relationship is bad, you might need to apply for a change in your Contact Order. This can be a gruelling procedure, not to mention expensive, since you’ll want to have a solicitor to represent you, although you may be able to come to an Agreement Through Mediation. You will still be expected to Pay Child Support as before.

Emotional Impact

Perhaps the biggest factor to deal with is the emotional impact. You should arrange plenty of phone contact with your children, daily if at all possible, so they still feel that you’re involved in their lives (and so you feel that way, too) and try to see them as often as possible. If you can arrange a trip to see them once a month, that’s good, but not economically viable for many people.

School holidays would be the best time to see them, when you might be able to have them for a week – or even several weeks in the summer, if you can negotiate this. Of course, wonderful as it sounds, the practicalities can be real obstacles; after all, you still have to work, and there’s only so much holiday time you can take each year. You need to try to find a balance that works for you.

Going Abroad

But what happens if your ex wants to Move Abroad with your kids? She might be a foreign national, for example, and want to move home, or she might have married someone from another country and be moving. What can you do in the situation where your kids are taken even farther away from you?

Essentially, you have two choices. You can either accept the fact and come to some agreement about when the children can spend time with you or you can fight the move in the courts. If you follow the first route and come to an agreement, have it in writing and legally validated. It should include the number of visits per year and their length. Also, make sure to include who is responsible for airfares, which can avoid tumultuous arguments later. If you’re paying child support, you should try to have a provision saying you don’t have to pay for the period the kids are living with you.

Should you choose to fight the move in court, you will be battling for custody of your kids. This is only going to work if you have parental responsibility for the children (that is, if you’re named as the father on the birth certificate or have a parental responsibility agreement). If not, it’s not worth the effort, because you won’t win.

Rather than the distress this will cause you, what you’ll need to show is how it will adversely affect the kids. If the proposed move is to a non English-speaking country, for example, and your children are in school and have grown up speaking English, you’ll want to cite that – especially if they are in their early teens. You’ll need to develop a valid argument, preferably several, and be well represented in court.

If your ex does move the kids overseas, you’ll feel the loss even more than if they’re just elsewhere in the UK. Use as many different methods of contact as you can to keep in touch with them, daily if possible. It’s not an ideal substitute, but it really is better than nothing at all.

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[Add a Comment]
Saz - Your Question:
Hi. I live in Scotland but want to move 60miles away to live with my new partner in England but the ex of my 6year old says no. We have never been a couple but he's always had regular contact with his daughter. Can he take me to court and stop me from going?

Our Response:
If your ex has parental responsibility of your child, he can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts (if he thinks you may leave the area without his consent). A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their child. However, it does not mean the court will grant the order. If your ex refuses his consent, then you too can apply to the courts to ask the court's permission to move from the area with your child. The court is not against people trying to get on with their lives. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application. If your ex has had regular contact with your child, the court will want to assure this will not be irretrievably fractured should you leave the area. You may wish to suggest mediation to your ex first as a way of trying to resolve the issue without having to resort to court. This way you can attempt to come up with an access plan between you. Sixty miles is unlikely to be turned down by the court (if your ex still refuses and you are forced to apply) as a good father/daughter relationship can still be maintained over such a distance.
SeparatedDads - 19-Apr-17 @ 11:58 AM
Hi. I live in Scotland but want to move 60miles away to live with my new partner in England but the ex of my 6year old says no. We have never been a couple but he's always had regular contact with his daughter. Can he take me to court and stop me from going?
Saz - 18-Apr-17 @ 7:44 PM
maddy93 - Your Question:
Hi,Me and my ex partner separate last year in October. He left me because he didn't want the second child ( still pregnant. 36 weeks ). Now I would like to move back to Germany, as I'm from there. Our first kid is 18 month now, and my question would be. Am I aloud to move abroad with my kids? Like, do I need his permission to take the kids with me? As soon as our second kid is born, I was gonna move back. ( reason because I would have more help over in Germany and would be around my family. ) not strong arguments I know, but over here im not entitled to anything and back I Germany I would be.Since he left me back in October he hasn't bothered with our daughter much ( got it written down I a diary ) and I think it would be best for our kids to life in Germany with me. I can just give them a better life over there then here.Help please?

Our Response:
Regardless of whether your ex has contact to your children, you would have to request written permission from your ex if he has parental responsibility. If he refuses, then you would have to request permission from the courts. Otherwise, if you take the children out of the country without permission, you could be charged with abduction, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 18-Apr-17 @ 11:43 AM
Hi, Me and my ex partner separate last year in October. He left me because he didn't want the second child ( still pregnant. 36 weeks ). Now I would like to move back to Germany, as I'm from there. Our first kid is 18 month now, and my question would be. Am I aloud to move abroad with my kids? Like, do I need his permission to take the kids with me? As soon as our second kid is born, I was gonna move back. ( reason because I would have more help over in Germany and would be around my family. ) not strong arguments I know, but over here im not entitled to anything and back I Germany I would be. Since he left me back in October he hasn't bothered with our daughter much ( got it written down I a diary ) and I think it would be best for our kids to life in Germany with me. I can just give them a better life over there then here. Help please?
maddy93 - 17-Apr-17 @ 3:08 PM
N77 - Your Question:
Hi, I split from my ex 5 years ago, divorce came thro last Nov, he moved from the family home 150miles away a year later we moved 150miles in the other direction, he gave consent to this, I have the emails, since then we travel halfway for him to pick up, lately the children do not want to go, (11,13) and he doesn't give me much notice about when he wants them, last oct he didn't want them and I convinced him to, xmas he couldn't do the dates I gave him, this year I arranged Easter, which he now tells me he will have to work part of it, and summer hols he gave me no dates apart from 17th as he is re marrying, which I arranged with my partner so they could be there, no other dates were discussed, he now wants them 2 weeks over that, one being our holiday.I have said yes to one week but the children don't want to do two, my youngest tried to talk to him but he blamed me for not helping him, saying he hadn't seen them for 6 months, I said I had never stopped him from seeing them if he had a few weekend etc he could come up and have them. He said that he couldn't afford that, and that it was me being selfish, he then said he wasn't going to pay child maintance any more and was taking legal advice. I've tried to keep lines open, but I think I must take what my children want, they were very upset coming back from his, and don't want to go I have to tell them they are going. Have I been unreasonable? Thanks

Our Response:
I think in this case mediation may be the solution, please see link here. Your kids are 13 and 11 and through any court of law will now be allowed to voice their opinions and a court will listen (although a court will always ultimately decide what 'it' thinks is in your children's best interests). Mediation will allow you to be objective in your outlook and attempt to come to a mutual arrangement that hopefully suits your ex, your kids and yourself with each being able to air their views via a third party. On another note, child maintenance and child access have no bearing on each other, meaning your ex is still responsible by law to pay to help support his children whether he sees them or not. So, if he pays via CMS, then he will be subjected to arrears. However, if he pays via a family-based arrangement, he won't and it will be up to you to decide whether to take the matter to CMS or try to resolve it between yourselves.
SeparatedDads - 4-Apr-17 @ 11:41 AM
Hi, I split from my ex 5 years ago, divorce came thro last Nov, he moved from the family home 150miles away a year later we moved 150miles in the other direction, he gave consent to this, I have the emails, since then we travel halfway for him to pick up, lately the children do not want to go, (11,13) and he doesn't give me much notice about when he wants them, last oct he didn't want them and I convinced him to, xmas he couldn't do the dates I gave him, this year I arranged Easter, which he now tells me he will have to work part of it, and summer hols he gave me no dates apart from 17th as he is re marrying, which I arranged with my partner so they could be there, no other dates were discussed, he now wants them 2 weeks over that, one being our holiday....I have said yes to one week but the children don't want to do two, my youngest tried to talk to him but he blamed me for not helping him, saying he hadn't seen them for 6 months, I said I had never stopped him from seeing them if he had a few weekend etc he could come up and have them. He said that he couldn't afford that, and that it was me being selfish, he then said he wasn't going to pay child maintance any more and was taking legal advice. I've tried to keep lines open, but I think I must take what my children want, they were very upset coming back from his, and don't want to go I have to tell them they are going. Have I been unreasonable? Thanks
N77 - 3-Apr-17 @ 6:36 PM
My ex wife has just decided to emigrate to the states with my 14 daughter, my daughter has issues and self harms, but says she wants to go with her mum. Should I agree with the move, would my daughter get the same care in the states, and if not should I try and stop her from going, for her own welfare and would the courts support me?
Mark - 31-Mar-17 @ 3:12 PM
Hi all. I've been separated from my partner now for 4 years, we have a son together. When we separated she moved back to her home town in south wales (130 miles away). Since then I have been making the round trip every 4-6 weeks on the weekends to have him stay with me for those couple of days. But recently I have had to surrender my driving license due to medical reasons and may not have it back for some time. I asked her whether she could start picking him up from my house at the end of the weekend as i could arrange to pick him up from hers but not to get him home again. I have parental responsibility and whilst I didn't put up much of a fight when she left and took him (and 90% of my furniture i'll add) I certainly didn't give consent for him to go. I have spoken to a solicitor about the situation and been told that under the circumstances that half of the responsibility for travel should fall on her, however she is being very difficult to say the least (withholding access, verbal abuse, unreasonable behavior etc), so I'm really just wondering where I stand legally and whether or not I'm barking up trees in pursuing this through the courts.
DrLazarous - 29-Mar-17 @ 3:47 PM
Hi My soon to be ex could be heading to live back with her parents and my boys 150 miles away We're on good terms and I guess I would see them every fortnight.the prospective cost of having to drive so far to bring them home to take them back again frightens me! A potential 600 mile round trip every other weekend unless I stay up there in hotels with them! Again at a huge cost Is my wife legally supposed to meet me half way? Or do I have to drive an the way to get them I don't think she will b willing to meet me halfway as it's my fault she's divorcing me
Blakes1 - 24-Mar-17 @ 11:13 AM
Jay - Your Question:
Hi, me and my partner split up nearly 2 years ago. Last march she moved back too Ireland with my daughter as she has supportive family over there I thought it would be the best move for my daughter as where we was we both don't have a brilliant support network. She is with her new man over there and has asked if I will allow her to have his surname should they marry. I refused, but now she is stopping any contact I can have with my daughter over the phone. is there anything I am able to do?

Our Response:
You would have to take the matter to court with the form C100 to apply for contact with your child and it will cost. Once a court order is in place, you both would have to adhere to it. However, if your ex decided to take the matter of the surname to court, in all likelihood the court might allow the change. Your ex can also make the change and use her new husband's name informally without your permission for the likes of school and her GP. You would have to make the decision based upon how strongly you feel about the name change and whether it is worth the anxiety. A name is just a name, but your daughter will always be your daughter regardless of what name she goes under. Plus, as soon as she gets to age 18, she will be allowed to change it back.
SeparatedDads - 13-Mar-17 @ 12:15 PM
Hi, me and my partner split up nearly 2 years ago. Last march she moved back too Ireland with my daughter as she has supportive family over there I thought it would be the best move for my daughter as where we was we both don't have a brilliant support network. She is with her new man over there and has asked if I will allow her to have his surname should they marry. I refused, but now she is stopping any contact I can have with my daughter over the phone. is there anything I am able to do?
Jay - 12-Mar-17 @ 12:45 PM
Jonny - Your Question:
Me and girlfriend live in Scotland she's 3 month pregnant. she moved up to Scotland from England and she got pregnant in the first few weeks of getting together. She's now saying she's getting really home sick. I met her mum a few weeks ago and she said my name won't be going on the register which I found really strange? I'm thinking she's gonna move back to England and I don't know what I would do if this happened. Any advice would be great. Thanks

Our Response:
If your name is not registered on the birth certificate then you will effectively have no rights over your child. In the first instance you would have to apply for court for Parental Responsibility which will give you some rights over the welfare of your child. However, this would take time to come to court and it may be that your girlfriend might have made the decision to move back to England. I can only suggest you seek legal advice as Scottish family law will differ from English. However, as a new parent there is really little you can do to stop her if she makes this decision - apart from seeking legal advice to see whether you would have acase to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order.
SeparatedDads - 8-Mar-17 @ 2:29 PM
Ann - Your Question:
Thank you. So does this mean I forever have to live in the same town as him. I want to move somewhere I feel is better for us as a family which would still be in the same county let alone same country. and only an hour drive away instead of 5 mins away. access still would be had. but a change of school due to being a little further away would be needed. wouldn't this be seen as petty to go to court. but he would refuse consent so what can I actually do.? I don't feel this is quite fair when I'm still being seen as reasonable for access etc. plus he has other siblings with us in his home. Thank you for helping.

Our Response:
It is highly unlikely you would be prevented from moving an hour away. Perhaps, you could suggest mediation with your ex in order to come to an agreement, if you can't resolve the matter between yourselves. In this case, if you moved without his authority, it is highly unlikely a court would move to bring you back given the close proximity of your ex (this is only done in cases where the move would prevent the non-resident parent from being able to have reasonable access to the children). However, much depends upon your ex's actions and whether he wants to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order to try to stop you. This will cost and if he decided to seek legal advice, a solicitor may tell him it is not worth paying to go to court if he is likely to lose the case. It may be worth you seeking some legal advice and perhaps asking a solicitor to draft a letter to outline the situation and mutual ways to resolve it.
SeparatedDads - 8-Mar-17 @ 1:47 PM
Me and girlfriend live in Scotland she's 3 month pregnant. she moved up to Scotland from England and she got pregnant in the first few weeks of getting together. She's now saying she's getting really home sick. I met her mum a few weeks ago and she said my name won't be going on the register which I found really strange? I'm thinking she's gonna move back to England and I don't know what I would do if this happened. Any advice would be great. Thanks
Jonny - 7-Mar-17 @ 10:06 PM
Thank you. . So does this mean I forever have to live in the same town as him.. I want to move somewhere I feel is better for us as a family which would still be in the same county let alone same country.. and only an hour drive away instead of 5 mins away.. access still would be had.. but a change of school due to being a little further away would be needed.. wouldn't this be seen as petty to go to court.. but he would refuse consent so what can I actually do.? I don't feel this is quite fair when I'm still being seen as reasonable for access etc.. plus he has other siblings with us in his home. Thank you for helping.
Ann - 7-Mar-17 @ 8:19 PM
Ann - Your Question:
Hi. me and my childs father split up over 5 years ago. we live in the same county and I wish to move. still staying in the same county but a longer distance for him to drive therefore making weekly contact to weekend contact. I would never deny access or purposefully make it awkward. but due to the move it means my child would need to move schools and this is his only concern. he has parental responsibility as he is on the birth certificate but refuses to pay maintenance cos he says he buys for his child whilst he has them there and provides for him at his house. if I am staying in the same county and not denying access do I need his permission to move? And change schools? He has threatened court over it. Thank you.

Our Response:
Yes, you do need your child's father's permission to move if the father of your child has parental responsibility. Some resident parents will take the risk of moving without consent from their ex. However, there is always a risk that they could be brought back to the area if the matter goes to court. If your ex refuses consent, then you too will be able to take the matter to court and request the court's permission to move your child out of the area. The court will assess both of your situations and make a decision regarding what it thinks is in the best interests of your child. Quite often the court will let the parent move with their child if the parent can give a good reason for wanting to move, such as supportive family and friend links etc. With regards to child maintenance you are eligible to claim, please see CMS link here.
SeparatedDads - 7-Mar-17 @ 2:47 PM
Hi.. me and my childs father split up over 5 years ago.. we live in the same county and I wish to move.. still staying in the same county but a longer distance for him to drive therefore making weekly contact to weekend contact .. I would never deny access or purposefully make it awkward.. but due to the move it means my child would need to move schools and this is his only concern.. he has parental responsibility as he is on the birth certificate but refuses to pay maintenance cos he says he buys for his child whilst he has them there and provides for him at his house.. if I am staying in the same county and not denying access do I need his permission to move? And change schools? He has threatened court over it. Thank you.
Ann - 7-Mar-17 @ 11:41 AM
Peter - Your Question:
Hi, Thank you for responding. I dont think it's true that she cant lawfully move without my say so. Where does this information come from?

Our Response:
A person who has parental responsibility for a child has the right to make decisions about their care and upbringing. If you disagree with the other person who has PR of your child regarding the decision they are intending to/or have made then the likes of a Prohibited Steps Order or Specfic Issue Order will put that question to the test. If the parents can't resolve the dispute between them, then it will be left up to the courts to make a decision based upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your child. You can see what constitutes PR via the gov.uk link here. Where an ex partner has made a decision to move away without consulting the other parent, if the court deems it unfair they can be made to return.
SeparatedDads - 27-Feb-17 @ 11:27 AM
Hi, Thank you for responding. I dont think it's true that she cant lawfully move without my say so. Where does this information come from?
Peter - 26-Feb-17 @ 11:22 AM
Peter - Your Question:
Hi, I have been separtaed from my ex for 8 years now and now she has said that she is moving 4 hours away and that I can only have him during the school holiday and every 4th weekend. I have been having him every weekend for the past 8 years. She also has another son who is 7 and she is not with that father either. My concerns are for my sons emotional support as he is suspected ASD and is currently under assessment. the school he goes to is fantastic and we have worked hard to find good teachers who will go the extra mile for him and I am starting to see some real improvement in him. I am happy for her to move but would like my son to stay with my wife and I. She is very stubborn and thinks that just because she is the mother that all decisions are hers and I feel as though there is no talking to her. I have contacted a mediator today, but I feel that this will not resolve the issue either. I have parental responsibility, but I'm not sure where I stand legally. I really don't want him to change to schools as this would set his progress back years.

Our Response:
You could either suggest mediation to your ex as a way to resolve the issue out of court. However, if your ex refuses or you cannot agree through the mediation process, then you would have to take the matter to court. By law, if you have parental responsibility your ex has to request your consent to move out of the area. If you feel your ex may move with your son without your consent you could apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. With regards to his education and wanting him to remain in his current school, another route would be to apply for a Specific Issue Order through the courts, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 24-Feb-17 @ 12:26 PM
Hi, I have been separtaed from my ex for 8 years now and now she has said that she is moving 4 hours away and that I can only have him during the school holiday and every 4th weekend. I have been having him every weekend for the past 8 years. She also has another son who is 7 and she is not with that father either. My concerns are for my sons emotional support as he is suspected ASD and is currently under assessment. the school he goes to is fantastic and we have worked hard to find good teachers who will go the extra mile for him and I am starting to see some real improvement in him. I am happy for her to move but would like my son to stay with my wife and I. She is very stubborn and thinks that just because she is the mother that all decisions are hers and i feel as though there is no talking to her. I have contacted a mediator today, but I feel that this will not resolve the issue either. I have parental responsibility, but i'm not sure where I stand legally. I really don't want him to change to schools as this would set his progress back years.
Peter - 23-Feb-17 @ 3:13 PM
Hi, Seven years ago i separated from my ex and she refused contact with my son who was 2 years old at that time. through court I managed to get 4 hours contact weekly with my son and soon after she moved 22 miles away and forced me to see my son at play center for 30-45 mins in her presence and even brain washed my son not to talk to me. I regularly kept the contact and did whatever possible as any father could do . I was afraid that she might could make things worse by saying thatchild is getting distressed (also mentioned by social worker at court that someone is brain washing the child) and i kept quite . now she wants to move four hours away and telling me that I can only see my son in holidays. I understand that father and mother are both important for children but I am very sad that will not be able to see my son regularly. Please advise what can i do. regards
Dani - 18-Feb-17 @ 12:09 PM
Aramis - Your Question:
Me and and my ex wife separated just over 2 years ago due to her infidelity. We have two daughters aged 5 and 8. I pick the girls up from school on Friday and drop them off Monday morning with work being very supportive.I currently live in the village where the girls attend school but work 25 miles away. Their Mother lives in the next village. I am planning to move closer to work, approx 20 miles from their school. This won't impact on my ability to pick up/drop off or I wouldn't consider it. The ex has now announced her intention to move 75 miles south. This would curtail my time with them significantly.From reading this very helpful site I understand that I should be considered to have parental responsibility and as such should be able to at least challenge the move. She has no family or friends or even a job at this point where she is planning to move and has a history of mental health issues which I hope would help my case.My concerns are that by moving I may prejudice my position in the eyes of the court if they consider me to have left the area? (In reality moving raises the possibility that I could have the girls full time as I could then juggle school runs and work)In addition I allowed her to divorce me as at the time I didn't want to deal with solicitors, might this affect my rights?

Our Response:
As you have parental responsibility of your children, by law your ex should ask you for consent to move out of the area. You have two options to agree, or if you think your ex may move without your consent, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Therefore, you would have to prove why it was not in your best interests for your ex to move away with the children i.e disruption from school, friends, family, close network etc. Your ex would have to justify her own reasons as to why she thinks it would be in the children's best inerests. With regards to your own move, this should not impinge on any decision, if your decision to move will not impact on the children's usual routine. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to further explore your options.
SeparatedDads - 10-Feb-17 @ 12:32 PM
Me and and my ex wife separated just over 2 years ago due to her infidelity.We have two daughters aged 5 and 8.I pick the girls up from school on Friday and drop them off Monday morning with work being very supportive. I currently live in the village where the girls attend school but work 25 miles away.Their Mother lives in the next village. I am planning to move closer to work, approx 20 miles from their school.This won't impact on my ability to pick up/drop off or I wouldn't consider it. The ex has now announced her intention to move 75 miles south.This would curtail my time with them significantly. From reading this very helpful site I understand that I should be considered to have parental responsibility and as such should be able to at least challenge the move.She has no family or friends or even a job at this point where she is planning to move and has a history of mental health issues which I hope would help my case. My concerns are that by moving i may prejudice my position in the eyes of the court if they consider me to have left the area?(In reality moving raises the possibility that I could have the girls full time as i could then juggle school runs and work) In addition I allowed her to divorce me as at the time I didn't want to deal with solicitors, might this affect my rights?
Aramis - 9-Feb-17 @ 10:19 AM
anon - Your Question:
Hi There I've been separated from my partner for 7 years now and he sees his son every other weekend. I would like to relocate within the uk with our son who is 9 and still stick to the every other weekend as dont want to stop any access but was told yesterday that I cannot move anywhere without the fathers consent? Please would you be able to advise me any further information many thanks.

Our Response:
if the father has parental responsibility, then by law you have to request his consent to move away. Some resident parents will make the move anyway and hope the courts will not decide to bring them back. However, if your ex decides to pursue the matter through the courts, then this could quite possibly occur. If your ex doesn not agree to the move, then you would have to try to either negotiate the terms through mediation, or take the matter to court and a court will decide upon what it thinks is in your son's best interests.
SeparatedDads - 25-Jan-17 @ 1:58 PM
Hi There I've been separated from my partner for 7 years now and he sees his son every other weekend .I would like to relocate within the uk with our son who is 9 and still stick to the every other weekend as dont want to stop any access but was told yesterday that I cannot move anywhere without the fathers consent? Please would you be able to advise me any further information many thanks .
anon - 25-Jan-17 @ 8:51 AM
hi all found out my partner of 16 years been having affair for 6 month with a man twice her agewe have 3 kids my oldest was the one that found out about affair so he decided to stay with me hes 14 she taken my 2 youngest away from a stable home2 year old and 6year oldand shacked up with this taxi driver who my kids dont even know i can have the kids when ever i want i been having them on saturdays so she can go out drinking having kids on a weekend is stopping me from moving on trying to build my life while she is out enjoying her self even though she has a new partner am i wrong to stop fridays or saturdays so i can finally go out and find someone new so i can move on i still want to see my kids but maybe have them on a sunday and take them to school on a monday please help apprieciated
bri80 - 23-Jan-17 @ 6:12 AM
Hi there, need a little help. Me and my sons father split up about 2 years ago. At the start he was allowed continuous access (after work during the week bathing and putting our son to bed) but this was unrealistic because he always turned it into something about us. I changed it to the weekend either Friday to Saturday then the week after Saturday night to Sunday night. This worked for a while but he wasn't happy as he "wanted a life" he wanted every second weekend, so I complied as it's whatever is best for our son (4years old) I was also supplying him clothes, toys etc every month to keep at his. (Or his fathers as he doesn't have his own home or a separate bed for our son) He drives and I don't. He stays under 10 minutes drive away (or anything up to an hour on public transport)he recently demanded that I start dropping out son off to him on his weekends and picking him up as it wasn't fair on him (not our son) having to do this once a fortnight. I have came to an agreement that his dad picks up our son from nursery on the Friday and he drops him at my sister (5 minutes drive from him...by she stays further from me) and she now drives down to me and my sons home with him. He doesn't ask about his progress at nursery or any of the groups he is in (art and sport) when our son does something bad he laughs and gets angry when our son misbehaves and doesn't understand the impact of his example. (He allowed my son to defecate on a pavement) and still thinks it is funny) So here is my problem: I'm moving away. To a stunning area (my area isn't the greatest)with a very select school. Absolutely better lifestyle for my son. It is 59 miles away now. I am going to even offer half the cost petrol money on his weekends. And Skype and phone calls as many nights as he wants.I will be telling him soon. I just don't know how to approach this. He is a very emotional angry man so I feel that arranging mediation to speak about this would be the best way forward.I'm just looking for confirmation that I am following all the correct procedures and I haven't missed anything really?
CJ81 - 21-Jan-17 @ 5:35 PM
Hi there, need a little help. Me and my sons father split up about 2 years ago. At the start he was allowed continuous access (after work during the week bathing and putting our son to bed) but this was unrealistic because he always turned it into something about us. I changed it to the weekend either Friday to Saturday then the week after Saturday night to Sunday night. This worked for a while but he wasn't happy as he "wanted a life" he wanted every second weekend, so I complied as it's whatever is best for our son (4years old) I was also supplying him clothes, toys etc every month to keep at his. (Or his fathers as he doesn't have his own home or a separate bed for our son) He drives and I don't. He stays under 10 minutes drive away (or anything up to an hour on public transport)he recently demanded that I start dropping out son off to him on his weekends and picking him up as it wasn't fair on him (not our son) having to do this once a fortnight. I have came to an agreement that his dad picks up our son from nursery on the Friday and he drops him at my sister (5 minutes drive from him...by she stays further from me) and she now drives down to me and my sons home with him. He doesn't ask about his progress at nursery or any of the groups he is in (art and sport) when our son does something bad he laughs and gets angry when our son misbehaves and doesn't understand the impact of his example. (He allowed my son to defecate on a pavement) and still thinks it is funny) So here is my problem: I'm moving away. To a stunning area (my area isn't the greatest)with a very select school. Absolutely better lifestyle for my son. It is 59 miles away now. I am going to even offer half the cost petrol money on his weekends. And Skype and phone calls as many nights as he wants.I will be telling him soon. I just don't know how to approach this. He is a very emotional angry man so I feel that arranging mediation to speak about this would be the best way forward.I'm just looking for confirmation that I am following all the correct procedures and I haven't missed anything really?
CJ81 - 21-Jan-17 @ 1:17 PM
Catfish - Your Question:
My childs mum keeps sending me copies of afterschool club yet she is the one who moved away. Before I used to pick the child up from school and take her to her mums after she was done with work. Am I liable for thoes bills and or is maintainance meant to look after the child. Confused as at present please help

Our Response:
You're not obliged to pay any further money on top of your child maintenance (if you pay through the CMS). If you pay via a family-based arrangement, then it is mutually negotiable.
SeparatedDads - 18-Jan-17 @ 1:51 PM
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