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Can I Stop My Ex Moving Our Children Abroad?

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 26 Apr 2023 | comments*Discuss
 
Children Divorce Abroad Ex Taking Kids

Q.

My ex-wife and I have enjoyed a 6-year period of shared responsbility for our 9-year-old twins (a boy and a girl). This is now threatened by my ex-wife and latest husband wanting to live in France for a year from next July with my kids, who will then be 10 years old, nearly 11.

I do not feel the experience of being uprooted to a foreign country, albeit one they have visited many times on hoilday, will be a positve one for them and I feel they will loose out significantly from loss of contact with myself. I have expressed many of these feelings to her to no avail. Our current arrangement is Sunday to Tuesday at their mums, Wednesday to Saturday at mine.

I was unmarried to their mother at birth, but was named on the certificate. I then married the mother and before we divorced returned to the registrar to amend the entry etc. Do I have parental rights and is court the only likely way of resolving this form of dispute?

(I.C, 19 October 2008)

A.

You obviously have what’s called parental responsibility for your children since the divorce. That gives you a position of some strength, although it’s not as good as you might wish under the circumstances.

If your ex had sole responsibility, then she’d have no problem moving to France with the children, barring a court order preventing it.

As it stands, then, that doesn’t apply, and she would need your oral or written permission in order to move with the children. If the residence order means the kids spend part of the week with you, then she will need your written consent.

Of course, you have the option to withhold your consent, and it certainly sounds as if you’re not too happy about the situation. But you’d be better served if the two of you can come to a mutual agreement on the situation. Why is that a good idea?

The simple fact is that your ex can apply to the court to be allowed to take the children abroad, and there’s a fair chance that she’ll be granted permission by the court.

You’d be well advised to talk to your solicitor first to assess your full legal options. If it does come to court, you’ll need to mount good objections to your ex taking the kids abroad to live. Much of that strategy would be on how it affects the kids themselves, since that should be the focus for the court. It’s one that might serve you well, since the court could be encouraged to take testimony from the children themselves.

That’s not good news overall, and certainly not reassuring news, unfortunately. That also makes it a good idea to try to work something out with your ex, if that’s at all possible. Otherwise, there’s going to be even more animosity than there is now, which makes things worse for the children, too.

Keep your tempers in control where you talk to your ex, and keep the focus on the children and what’s best for them. Divorce can be traumatic enough for them, although you’ve all apparently coped with it quite well to date. Keep them at the centre of things, always. We have a longer feature on this subject here.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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My ex has threatened to take my child away and live abroad. I am powerless to prevent it from happening due to her having the right to leave me off the birth certificate as she knew that it would grant me equal rights, something she does not want. After all, why would a woman who literally protested with other women for equal pay, want equality when it doesn't result in an improvement in her life. The hypocrisy is appalling. In order to prevent her from talking my daughter I need to first go to court to get parental responsibility, the thing she was given because she is female. The argument of "well they give birth so it's obvious they're a parent" doesn't work anymore, the government separated the birth and registration processes so you no longer register the child at birth in the hospital, it is done after the fact in a completely different building by a different department, the woman bringing the child in for registration has just as much evidence she is the mother as the father would. This process will take many months and cost upwards of £30k. How equal. Meanwhile, I am powerless stop her leaving in the meantime.
Kev - 26-Apr-23 @ 3:59 PM
My wife is absolutely determined to take our two children who are 7 and 5 to live in France "for a year" She is French. My son was born in France, Daughter was born in Spain but we have been UK residents since before their birth. We still live all together at the moment and are still married. The problem is that things are not going well between the wife and I and she has made it clear that her long term aspiration is to live in France. She has been secretly applying for Jobs in France, looking at properties and has registered the children into a school. She hasn't shown any flexibility and has dictated she will be going to live in the room above her mother garage.I'm the breadwinner for the family because I don't speak French, we would lose my income if I followed her. The dilemma I have is, is it better to bite the bullet and withhold permission for her to take the children out of the country. knowing that I would lose all good will between the wife and I, ending in divorce. Or do I let her go knowing that once the children are settled in France for a year, I have lost any claim that they belong in the UK and she ca, and probably will, keep them there as long as she wants. If we split up and divorce in the UK, can she still win a court order and take them to France anyway?
UK Dad - 31-May-22 @ 11:15 AM
My Ex wife and 3 yr old son went to India for 3 moths in Dec they are now stuck there with no flights because of Covid 19 ,she 1 st went to India to a yoga retreat in Oct for 6 wks which I reluctantly give permission for ,when she returned she said she hade made plans to go back out for 3 months which I totally refused permission for but she still wentBecause she has applied the 1 st permission to the second trip .i am pretty sure she has no intention of returning when flights start again I speak to my son on Skype every week and to my ex and she dodges questions I ask about coming home ,I’m afraid to push her to much in case she cuts of all communication,then I lose my only child for ever ,where do I stand .?
Dem - 9-Jul-20 @ 2:20 PM
I'm Italian and my partner south African we live in the uk for more than 20 years, wegot a 4 years old daughter which has a British nationality and uk passport. My question is can my partner take our daughter to south Africa? My name is on the birth certificate is the joint legal guardian. Can this be stopped to happen, my big fears is that I will never see my daughter again, our bond is so strong that she will suffer from this. Please I need some guidance.
Frank - 31-May-20 @ 9:41 AM
Hello, has anybody successfully relocated abroad having successfully won via court process in the Uk please? Be good to hear of any successful stories
Al - 20-May-20 @ 11:17 PM
I’m currently living in Australia I’m from the UK and my partner is from the UK too we meet in oz had a baby with another on the way but I have to leave him it’s toxic and mentally abusingfor me,my unborn child and daughter. he won’t let me leave but I need my family. He is currently trying to get Australian citizens but has not yet. I only have a UK passport my daughter has both. What rights do he have if I leave without his permission? We aren’t married but had a blessingin the UK 6 months ago
Sa - 30-Jan-20 @ 9:54 PM
My ex has been looking into moving to America with my 3 sons. I am named on all birth certificates. What/how can I veto this formally so I don't loose my boys. I have regular contact with them as I have them every other weekend.
Tigermac86 - 15-Dec-19 @ 10:27 AM
Hi my wife has taken my 5 year old son to Beijing.He was in school here for one year in reception . I took him to school every day then she come back after 3 month and decided that she wants him in Beijing schoolbut before this she said that he will be educated here.I'm English should I let him be educated in china. We are married but when he comes back on holiday I was going to stop him going back.
Lostboz - 13-Sep-19 @ 5:33 PM
Hello, My ex has married a Swedish man and now they are wanting to move to Sweden with my 6 year old son who I see regularly, I have parental Responsibility and do not want him to go to Sweden, do you have any advice and know of any cases where the father has won and kept the child in England? I'm willing to have him live with me full time if that's what it takes
Colin - 4-Sep-19 @ 11:12 AM
My ex has our 15 year old sons passport as he has just been on holiday with him. I am due to take him to Spain in 5 days, he will not hand over the passport unless I pay half towards the passport as he paid for it! I am our sons main carer. Please could you advise
Joliver - 20-Aug-19 @ 8:30 PM
My ex and her partner are moving to Scotland. Have I got anything in the law system to stop them moving my children far away? My ex’s partner has been accused of child abuse twice in his previous relationship and this one. Social workers were involved and still involved with the current one can I stop them going to Scotland due to safeguarding the children? Advice is much appreciated thanks
Ash - 15-Aug-19 @ 10:20 AM
Can a ex ask me to sign permission to take son from nz to Ireland, and say, if I sign it she will never charge me child support?
Dadshaverights2 - 22-Jul-19 @ 7:11 PM
My x is taking kids to Poland for good shespecially getting frend do it it's athe Liverpool please stop them please sohfiehewart and my mera hewart intwork weeks please stop them please
DUNCAN HEWART - 21-Jul-19 @ 10:56 PM
Hi I have a daughter of 7 years old, my ex husband doesn't see her and therefore there is no relationship, the only effort he makes where the daughter is concerned, is to keep appealing with the child maintenance about the amount he has to pay. I had good reasons to accept a job in Spain, I have put into place an International British school for my daughter, have rented an apartment to live in and are very much looking forward to this new experience that ill make our life better and give us more quality time. In Uk life is difficult if you are on your on with no family and friends that can help. I have applied to the court to permanently remove my daughter and have our first hearing in July. What chances has my ex husband of stopping us? As I mentioned no relationship and my daughter is not even interested in having one now. Many thanks
Malaga - 13-Jun-19 @ 8:35 PM
Hi. I have a son with my ex, he is not on the birth papers and he see him like 1 weekend a month as my son doesn’t want to go any more. It used to be every other weekend but my son started to grow out of going. My partner and I would like to move to another country but I worry if we can go or not. We don’t want to stop the relationship between my son and his dad as I feel it’s important but my son doesn’t really care for going to his dads. He is 12. I won’t just go as I feel that’s wrong but I want to live the best ever and we will this would be great for all the family. I can still make sure my ex and son have regular contact and school holidays etc. I worry that he could take me to court and stop us. My ex and my son love each other lots but it’s all half hearted efforts. I just don’t no where I stand.
Gem - 11-Jun-19 @ 9:27 AM
Joe - Your Question:
Hi I was hoping you could advise me. my wife left me without permission to take the two kids to a European country I never agreed but I didn't think I would stand the chance in court. now I use to go there every month to see the children and now she's stopped me for no reason whatsoever. she said that if I come within 5 metres she's going to call the police. she has no reason to do this and I don't know where to start or what to do because I've heard so many horror stories of people spending lots of money and not getting anywhere can you advise me what the best thing to do is I've been nice and tried to reason with her but she has a Vendetta against me

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your ex left the country with your children and you didn't contest it through the courts at the time, then you have lost the option of taking legal action with regards to possible abduction of your children. You would have to seek legal advice from an international family-law solicitor and unfortunately this will cost as your only option would be to apply to court.
SeparatedDads - 18-Sep-18 @ 2:52 PM
Hi I was hoping you could advise me. my wife left me without permission to take the two kids to a European country I never agreed but I didn't think I would stand the chance in court. now I use to go there every month to see the children and now she's stopped me for no reason whatsoever. she said that if I come within 5 metres she's going to call the police. she has no reason to do this and I don't know where to start or what to do because I've heard so many horror stories of people spending lots of money and not getting anywhere can you advise me what the best thing to do is I've been nice and tried to reason with her but she has a Vendetta against me
Joe - 18-Sep-18 @ 11:22 AM
Robicek - Your Question:
Hi I have big isue my ex leaving this countruy sunday whit my 2 kids she live in halifax and im in walsall I dnt knw what to do.i need to stop her asap

Our Response:
Your ex must get the permission from you (if you have parental responsibility) or a court before taking your child abroad, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 8-Jun-18 @ 2:44 PM
Hi i have big isue my ex leaving this countruy sunday whit my 2 kids she live in halifax and im in walsall i dnt knw what to do...i need to stop her asap
Robicek - 8-Jun-18 @ 11:44 AM
J - Your Question:
I’ve sighned forms to go abroad but changed my mind it’s to much not coping and my kids not happy

Our Response:
Your only recourse to object to this once the forms have been signed, is to refer the matter to court. However, there is no guarantee you would be successful. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 30-Apr-18 @ 3:09 PM
I’ve sighned forms to go abroad but changed my mind it’s to much not coping and my kids not happy
J - 29-Apr-18 @ 11:43 PM
@T - If you move out with your daughter and become the primary carer, then you will become the main decision maker regarding what nursery care etc your daughter should have. In essence you will become the mum, so will be able to claim benefits such as universal credit etc, until you can find a job and/or nursery carer for your daughter. Think of the future too. If you become the primary carer of your child, and your ex has to move back to her home country once her visa has expired then you will have the better option for your daughter to stay in the UK with you. It might seem difficult currently, but you are only going through what most single mums have gone through for years. Move out, take your daughter and if you can deal with the issues from there as you will be the main decision maker then.
Dan78 - 12-Feb-18 @ 10:19 AM
Hi, I have a complicated Situation.My Wife (filipino citizen, with indefinate leave to remain spousal visa)wants to separate, to which i have no problem with, as the relationship has become difficult, due to her instance on working long hours 12.5 hours per shift, nights and and anywhere up to 72 hours per week,consequently, she is missing out on a great deal of our childrens lives, and the decisions which need to be made eg, school etc (she resents me for making these decisions, but if she wont discuss them with me my hands are tied). we try to include her in everything, but clearly she is exhausted, and possibly depressed, and when you try to speak to her, she often states she is too tired, or is moody or outright rude.We have 2 children of our own, which are both british citizens,and she has a daughter (my step daughter) who is 15 (16 in july) who is filipino, but has been naturalised as a british citizen, but does not yet have a UK passport. Even though i have ammicably accepted her choice to separate, she still remains unhappy, and refuses to be civil with me and her daughter.She sends spiteful and bullying messages to her daughter, who is just about to start taking her exams. She insisists, that as soon as she is able she will return to the philippines.She Proclaims that i can have the children, infront of them.I need to know what options i have over the children, and what protections i can take against her taking them abroad. also, if she does leave without the children, what options if any i have.We have a mortgage, a loan on a car, and we owe money to HMRC, due to her claiming child tax credits, for a year using here income from when on maternity, when she knew our current income would be above the threshhold the following year, this means if she left, i would have difficulty making a claim for assistance even though i would be eligible.
Danny1232 - 11-Feb-18 @ 1:01 PM
The mother of my daughter wants to take my daughter who lives with her and her partner out of the area in the UK, to stop me from seeing my daughter. What can I do to stop her.
Myah's Dad - 29-Aug-17 @ 9:41 PM
The mother of my daughter wants to move with her partner out of the area. so I can't see her. What can I do to stop her, as I have parental responsibility too.
Myah's Dad - 29-Aug-17 @ 9:34 PM
A very good friend of mine is still currently living with the woman he has a six year old son with, in April she met a man in America on the internet, since then she had been making plains to live with him and take my friends son with her. A few weeks ago she went to America with their son and his permission for a two week holiday.She has told him that she will be moving to live in America with their son and a man she barely knows, he feels like he can do nothing to stop it but I am hoping their is something he can do. They were never married but he is named on the birth certificate.
Kate - 27-Aug-17 @ 9:45 AM
KiwiDad - Your Question:
I'm very likely going though this myself but I want to get full custody so I can move the kids 5 and 3 back to NZ.What are the chances of getting the courts to agree to full custody where I can move back to NZ?In short my wife has lost the plot, going out late which she never used to do, posting weird posts on Facebook, even refusing councilling. To add to this her family are unstable, most of which suffer from depression. We spent the last 18 months living with the parents which was frustrating for me and saw my wife change. Also the in-laws never offered to help look after the kids so it's been 18 months where we haven't really had us time.In comparison my family in NZ are stable. When we've visited my parents have been really supportive, giving us the space to spend time between the 2 of us. Live in a really nice area with lots of space and a very supportive extended family network. The local school is one of th best in the country. Job wise I can offer the kids stability as I can move my job over very easily. My question. Given the hopeless situation here in the UK, how likely would the courts grant full custody so I can move to NZ

Our Response:
Much depends upon who is currently the primary carer of your children. Plus, how integrated your children are into British life. It is highly unlikely the courts would move to allow you uproot your children and take them away from their primary carer if their mother is the parent who cares for them on a day-to-day basis. Despite all you can offer, the courts will always opt for consistency and stability first. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options - as if the mother of your child does not agree with your suggestions, you would have to apply through court.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jun-17 @ 2:08 PM
I'm very likely going though this myself but I want to get full custody so I can move the kids 5 and 3 back to NZ. What are the chances of getting the courts to agree to full custody where I can move back to NZ? In short my wife has lost the plot, going out late which she never used to do, posting weird posts on Facebook, even refusing councilling. To add to this her family are unstable, most of which suffer from depression. We spent the last 18 months living with the parents which was frustrating for me and saw my wife change. Also the in-laws never offered to help look after the kids so it's been 18 months where we haven't really had us time. In comparison my family in NZ are stable. When we've visited my parents have been really supportive, giving us the space to spend time between the 2 of us. Live in a really nice area with lots of space and a very supportive extended family network. The local school is one of th best in the country. Job wise I can offer the kids stability as I can move my job over very easily. My question. Given the hopeless situation here in the UK, how likely would the courts grant full custody so I can move to NZ
KiwiDad - 18-Jun-17 @ 8:56 AM
syedlfc - Your Question:
Hi,I have a FDHR first court hearing next week. My ex wants to move to the country of her origin, USA with my 3 children aged 2,5 and 8. At first I had considered it if she allowed me to have the children over the 3 month USA summer holiday and Xmas holidays here plus unlimited access for when I travel there. Last week however I went to apply for a USA Visa and was refused o doesn't look like I'll be able to travel to the USA any time soon. I have since refused her the right to move to America with the kids and made a Prohibited Steps Order in the case she tries to abduct them, unlikely but cannot take any risks. I have had my boys for 4 nights per week min for about 1.5 years now, I drop them to school am a heavily involved father as well as taking part in weekend activities. I pay for all their household needs and requirements and have done so always. She refuses to communicate directly about the kids and their wellbeing and makes it as difficult as possible for all areas concerning the children. My fear is that the court may allow her the right to leave and move to the USA with my kids even though I have predominately been the primary carer. I guess only the court can decide what is best for the kids. Not long till the first hearing now and will probably need to go to a Final Hearing but I really do not want my kids to live in another country from me. Any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

Our Response:
I'm afraid this is impossible to anticipate what a court will decide, as it will decide only upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. You may wish to seek legal advice to see whether it is worth you applying to officially become the primary carer of your children, especially if they are settled in their school life etc.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-17 @ 11:34 AM
MPF01 - Your Question:
My ex is planning to send my daughter to Colombia to live with her nan, but she is planning this behind my back, what can I do to stop this from happening?

Our Response:
If you have parental responsibility of your child and/or are registered on your daughter's birth certificate, your ex would need to seek consent from you to take your child abroad to live. However, if you fear she may try to leave the country without a letter of consent, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice regarding this matter.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-17 @ 10:10 AM
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