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Can I Stop My Ex Moving Our Children Abroad?

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 29 Aug 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Children Divorce Abroad Ex Taking Kids

Q.

My ex-wife and I have enjoyed a 6-year period of shared responsbility for our 9-year-old twins (a boy and a girl). This is now threatened by my ex-wife and latest husband wanting to live in France for a year from next July with my kids, who will then be 10 years old, nearly 11.

I do not feel the experience of being uprooted to a foreign country, albeit one they have visited many times on hoilday, will be a positve one for them and I feel they will loose out significantly from loss of contact with myself. I have expressed many of these feelings to her to no avail. Our current arrangement is Sunday to Tuesday at their mums, Wednesday to Saturday at mine.

I was unmarried to their mother at birth, but was named on the certificate. I then married the mother and before we divorced returned to the registrar to amend the entry etc. Do I have parental rights and is court the only likely way of resolving this form of dispute?

(I.C, 19 October 2008)

A.

You obviously have what’s called parental responsibility for your children since the divorce. That gives you a position of some strength, although it’s not as good as you might wish under the circumstances.

If your ex had sole responsibility, then she’d have no problem moving to France with the children, barring a court order preventing it.

As it stands, then, that doesn’t apply, and she would need your oral or written permission in order to move with the children. If the residence order means the kids spend part of the week with you, then she will need your written consent.

Of course, you have the option to withhold your consent, and it certainly sounds as if you’re not too happy about the situation. But you’d be better served if the two of you can come to a mutual agreement on the situation. Why is that a good idea?

The simple fact is that your ex can apply to the court to be allowed to take the children abroad, and there’s a fair chance that she’ll be granted permission by the court.

You’d be well advised to talk to your solicitor first to assess your full legal options. If it does come to court, you’ll need to mount good objections to your ex taking the kids abroad to live. Much of that strategy would be on how it affects the kids themselves, since that should be the focus for the court. It’s one that might serve you well, since the court could be encouraged to take testimony from the children themselves.

That’s not good news overall, and certainly not reassuring news, unfortunately. That also makes it a good idea to try to work something out with your ex, if that’s at all possible. Otherwise, there’s going to be even more animosity than there is now, which makes things worse for the children, too.

Keep your tempers in control where you talk to your ex, and keep the focus on the children and what’s best for them. Divorce can be traumatic enough for them, although you’ve all apparently coped with it quite well to date. Keep them at the centre of things, always. We have a longer feature on this subject here.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Myah's Dad - Your Question:
The mother of my daughter wants to move with her partner out of the area. so I can't see her. What can I do to stop her, as I have parental responsibility too.

Our Response:
You could apply for a Specific Issue Order, please see link here . If you fear your ex may move out of the area without your consent and knowledge, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. However, as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. You would have to attempt to justify why it is not in your child's best interests to leave the area, school, friends, family etc.
SeparatedDads - 1-Sep-17 @ 3:41 PM
The mother of my daughter wants to take my daughter who lives with her and her partner out of the area in the UK, to stop me from seeing my daughter. What can I do to stop her.
Myah's Dad - 29-Aug-17 @ 9:41 PM
The mother of my daughter wants to move with her partner out of the area. so I can't see her. What can I do to stop her, as I have parental responsibility too.
Myah's Dad - 29-Aug-17 @ 9:34 PM
Kate - Your Question:
A very good friend of mine is still currently living with the woman he has a six year old son with, in April she met a man in America on the internet, since then she had been making plains to live with him and take my friends son with her. A few weeks ago she went to America with their son and his permission for a two week holiday. She has told him that she will be moving to live in America with their son and a man she barely knows, he feels like he can do nothing to stop it but I am hoping their is something he can do. They were never married but he is named on the birth certificate.

Our Response:
If your friend has parental responsibility there are moves he can make to try to prevent the move. Much depends upon your friend's relationship with his son i.e is he hands-on, or is does he see him only infrequently? Would the move be a big wrench for his son? If your friend has a close relationship with his son and his son would be taken from close friends/family/school etc, then your friend may have a case. As specified in the article, he can refer the matter to court, please see link here . Your friend's ex must gain your friend's consent in order to make the move (if he has PR), please see gov.uk link here . If he refuses consent, then his ex will have to refer the matter to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 29-Aug-17 @ 10:55 AM
A very good friend of mine is still currently living with the woman he has a six year old son with, in April she met a man in America on the internet, since then she had been making plains to live with him and take my friends son with her. A few weeks ago she went to America with their son and his permission for a two week holiday.She has told him that she will be moving to live in America with their son and a man she barely knows, he feels like he can do nothing to stop it but I am hoping their is something he can do. They were never married but he is named on the birth certificate.
Kate - 27-Aug-17 @ 9:45 AM
mark - Your Question:
My estranged wife has taken my 3 children , 2 girls and a boy to live in Spain with her new partner. she signed and so did he a 6 month contract of terms but has broken them all and now refuses to speak to me. I have no address and the last thing she texted me was that I was an unfit father as I had allowed my children to sleep in my bed when they had last stayed with me , which I believe to be a nasty allegationshe has also commited a fraud as she has not paid her nursery fees with her university bursary, forged my name on a nursery form and has left me with a ccj which is not mine as I did not agree to pay these bills as I was paying full maintainence at the time.can the police help me ?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this.You would have to seek legal advice regarding this matter. As your ex no longer lives in the UK, it would have to go through international law and the international courts and I'm afraid this would cost. In the first instance, you can report any fraudulent activity directly to the agencies concerned and ask advice.
SeparatedDads - 24-Aug-17 @ 1:47 PM
my estranged wife has taken my 3 children , 2 girls and a boy to live in Spain with her new partner. she signed and so did he a 6 monthcontract of terms but has broken them all and now refuses to speak to me. I have no address and the last thing she texted me was that I was an unfit father as I had allowed my children to sleep in my bed when they had last stayed with me , which I believe to be a nasty allegation she has also commited a fraud as she has not paid her nursery fees with her university bursary, forged my name on a nursery formand has left me with a ccj which is not mine as I did not agree to pay these bills as I was paying full maintainence at the time. can the police help me ?
mark - 22-Aug-17 @ 9:29 AM
Zafar - Your Question:
I have 2 daughters with my ex-wife. I pay monthly child maintenance and for their private schooling (which are all documented in my bank statement). My ex-wife is a dilutional person who thinks a world was is about to start due to current situation between N.Korea and the US. And wants to take my children away to Pakistan for their safety. I believe she just met someone there and using this fictional World War scenario as an excuse. How can I stop her from taking my children abroad for good?

Our Response:
If you think your ex may take your children out of the country without your consent, then you can apply through the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO, is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent.
SeparatedDads - 10-Aug-17 @ 2:44 PM
I have 2 daughters with my ex-wife. I pay monthlychild maintenance and for their private schooling (which are all documented in my bank statement). My ex-wife is a dilutional person who thinks a world was is about to start due to current situation between N.Korea and the US. And wants to take my children away to Pakistan for their safety. I believe she just met someone thereand using this fictional World War scenario as an excuse. How can I stop her from taking my children abroad for good?
Zafar - 9-Aug-17 @ 10:47 PM
KiwiDad - Your Question:
I'm very likely going though this myself but I want to get full custody so I can move the kids 5 and 3 back to NZ.What are the chances of getting the courts to agree to full custody where I can move back to NZ?In short my wife has lost the plot, going out late which she never used to do, posting weird posts on Facebook, even refusing councilling. To add to this her family are unstable, most of which suffer from depression. We spent the last 18 months living with the parents which was frustrating for me and saw my wife change. Also the in-laws never offered to help look after the kids so it's been 18 months where we haven't really had us time.In comparison my family in NZ are stable. When we've visited my parents have been really supportive, giving us the space to spend time between the 2 of us. Live in a really nice area with lots of space and a very supportive extended family network. The local school is one of th best in the country. Job wise I can offer the kids stability as I can move my job over very easily. My question. Given the hopeless situation here in the UK, how likely would the courts grant full custody so I can move to NZ

Our Response:
Much depends upon who is currently the primary carer of your children. Plus, how integrated your children are into British life. It is highly unlikely the courts would move to allow you uproot your children and take them away from their primary carer if their mother is the parent who cares for them on a day-to-day basis. Despite all you can offer, the courts will always opt for consistency and stability first. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options - as if the mother of your child does not agree with your suggestions, you would have to apply through court.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jun-17 @ 2:08 PM
I'm very likely going though this myself but I want to get full custody so I can move the kids 5 and 3 back to NZ. What are the chances of getting the courts to agree to full custody where I can move back to NZ? In short my wife has lost the plot, going out late which she never used to do, posting weird posts on Facebook, even refusing councilling. To add to this her family are unstable, most of which suffer from depression. We spent the last 18 months living with the parents which was frustrating for me and saw my wife change. Also the in-laws never offered to help look after the kids so it's been 18 months where we haven't really had us time. In comparison my family in NZ are stable. When we've visited my parents have been really supportive, giving us the space to spend time between the 2 of us. Live in a really nice area with lots of space and a very supportive extended family network. The local school is one of th best in the country. Job wise I can offer the kids stability as I can move my job over very easily. My question. Given the hopeless situation here in the UK, how likely would the courts grant full custody so I can move to NZ
KiwiDad - 18-Jun-17 @ 8:56 AM
syedlfc - Your Question:
Hi,I have a FDHR first court hearing next week. My ex wants to move to the country of her origin, USA with my 3 children aged 2,5 and 8. At first I had considered it if she allowed me to have the children over the 3 month USA summer holiday and Xmas holidays here plus unlimited access for when I travel there. Last week however I went to apply for a USA Visa and was refused o doesn't look like I'll be able to travel to the USA any time soon. I have since refused her the right to move to America with the kids and made a Prohibited Steps Order in the case she tries to abduct them, unlikely but cannot take any risks. I have had my boys for 4 nights per week min for about 1.5 years now, I drop them to school am a heavily involved father as well as taking part in weekend activities. I pay for all their household needs and requirements and have done so always. She refuses to communicate directly about the kids and their wellbeing and makes it as difficult as possible for all areas concerning the children. My fear is that the court may allow her the right to leave and move to the USA with my kids even though I have predominately been the primary carer. I guess only the court can decide what is best for the kids. Not long till the first hearing now and will probably need to go to a Final Hearing but I really do not want my kids to live in another country from me. Any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

Our Response:
I'm afraid this is impossible to anticipate what a court will decide, as it will decide only upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. You may wish to seek legal advice to see whether it is worth you applying to officially become the primary carer of your children, especially if they are settled in their school life etc.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-17 @ 11:34 AM
MPF01 - Your Question:
My ex is planning to send my daughter to Colombia to live with her nan, but she is planning this behind my back, what can I do to stop this from happening?

Our Response:
If you have parental responsibility of your child and/or are registered on your daughter's birth certificate, your ex would need to seek consent from you to take your child abroad to live. However, if you fear she may try to leave the country without a letter of consent, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice regarding this matter.
SeparatedDads - 16-May-17 @ 10:10 AM
Hi, I have a FDHR first court hearing next week. My ex wants to move to the country of her origin, USA with my 3 children aged 2,5 and 8. At first I had considered it if she allowed me to have the children over the 3 month USA summer holiday and Xmas holidays here plus unlimited access for when I travel there. Last week however I went to apply for a USA Visa and was refused o doesn't look like I'll be able to travel to the USA any time soon. I have since refused her the right to move to America with the kids and made a Prohibited Steps Order in the case she tries to abduct them, unlikely but cannot take any risks. I have had my boys for 4 nights per week min for about 1.5 years now, I drop them to school am a heavily involved father as well as taking part in weekend activities. I pay for all their household needs and requirements and have done so always. She refuses to communicate directly about the kids and their wellbeing and makes it as difficult as possible for all areas concerning the children. My fear is that the court may allow her the right to leave and move to the USA with my kids even though I have predominately been the primary carer. I guess only the court can decide what is best for the kids. Not long till the first hearing now and will probably need to go to a Final Hearing but I really do not want my kids to live in another country from me. Any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
syedlfc - 15-May-17 @ 3:06 PM
my ex is planning to send my daughter to Colombia to live with her nan, but she is planning this behind my back, what can i do to stop this from happening?
MPF01 - 15-May-17 @ 10:13 AM
I have parental responsibility for my son (I am named on birth certificate). he is 2.5 years old. Child lives with mother and I have a child arrangements order giving me overnight staying contact every weekend There is a specific instruction in the court order stating Holidays are to be agreed in writing between parents and each to give the other reasonable notice but not less than 3 weeks of flight details/dates/destination etc. with regards to the above, am i right in assuming to take my son abroad/on holiday the mother needs my consent given that a) i have parental responsibility and b) there is a specific instruction to us in the court order, regarding holidays ("need to be agreed"). and c) as i have overnight staying contact, any holiday would disrupt it therefore needs to be agreed by me/consented. And if she still takes him without my consent by merely informing me, then is it a breach of court order terms (i.e not agreed) and class as abduction. I know i can apply to stop it via a prohibited steps order but can she still go without consent...regardless
bimma - 14-Feb-17 @ 6:37 PM
Matt - Your Question:
I met my partner whilst living abroad. We moved back to the UK with our children. One is not mine but I have parental responsibility the is mine. They both have passports and birth certificates and passports of their country of birth so not UK. After the relationship breaking down she wants to move back and take the kids with her. What are my options? Is there anyway I can stop this?

Our Response:
As specified in the article, your ex would need your oral or written permission in order to move away with the children. However, if you feel your ex may do this without your consent, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. There is no guarantee you will be given the order, much will depend upon whether the judge thinks it is in your children's best interests. Therefore, legal advice would be needed here.
SeparatedDads - 8-Dec-16 @ 12:59 PM
I met my partner whilst living abroad.We moved back to the UK with our children.One is not mine but I have parental responsibility the is mine.They both have passports and birth certificates and passports of their country of birth so not UK.After the relationship breaking down she wants to move back and take the kids with her.What are my options? Is there anyway I can stop this?
Matt - 8-Dec-16 @ 9:28 AM
need to know - Your Question:
Myself and daughter are moving to jersey channel islands with my new partner.do I have to get her fathers consent seeing as it part of the british islands?we plan to fly back everyother weekend for her to see her dad and have even book flight for this already. but now her father is getting funny he only see's her everyother weekend now please help

Our Response:
Yes, you do have to ask for your ex's consent if he has Parental Responsibility. Otherwise, it will be considered abduction if you remove your child from the country to live without his permission.
SeparatedDads - 7-Nov-16 @ 1:56 PM
myself and daughter are moving to jersey channel islands with my new partner. do I have to get her fathers consent seeing as it part of the british islands? we plan to fly back everyother weekend for herto see her dad and have even book flight for this already.but now her father is getting funny he only see's her everyother weekend now please help
need to know - 7-Nov-16 @ 10:11 AM
My son was born in Cyprus. I am british mother and all british family. My son has cypriot birth certificate and passport. What rights does my babies cypriot father have. He is threatening to go to court and make me travel over. He says he can make our son go to live with him if he wants to?
Susit - 2-Nov-16 @ 11:40 PM
will - Your Question:
My current partner suffers from bipolar, we lived in spain and when I was out of the country working she left our baby girls(10 days ) by her self , social services where informed and took custody of our 2 girls , I travelled back and after 3 months we got our girls back,she has slipped back into drinking and refusing to accept this is a problem , we moved back to uk for more support, but I feel she is in denial and has persuaded herself she has no part in the problems we face , I can see no other option but to leave as our life is one car crash after another with the girls inthe middle, can social services provide me with some support to help, she abuses alcohol and refuses to accept this has a destroying affect on our family life I have not got the strength to continue on this roller coaster.she wants to return to hercountry , can I stop her from removing our gorl from the uk because of her past history of endangering gorls in another country ??

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. You would need to seek legal advice. But if you think your partner may leave the country with your children and without your permission (if you have Parental Responsibility) then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. If you are worried about safeguarding your children, local authority social services support families and safeguard children who may be at risk of harm, whether from family members or others. Levels of support can vary within each local authority but they provide support to families who are in need of additional help and support which is unavailable from schools, GPs, other health services, or community-based services. Please see Family Lives link here for more information. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 1-Nov-16 @ 10:56 AM
My current partner suffers from bipolar, we lived in spain and when i was out of the country working she left our baby girls(10 days ) by her self , social services where informed and took custody of our 2 girls , i travelled back and after 3 months we got our girls back,she has slipped back into drinking and refusing to accept this is a problem , we moved back to uk for more support, but i feel she is in denial and has persuaded herself she has no part in the problems we face , i can see no other option but to leave as our life is one car crash after another with the girls inthe middle, can social services provide me with some support to help, she abuses alcohol and refuses to accept this has a destroying affect on our family life i have not got the strength to continue on this roller coaster.she wants to return to hercountry , can i stop her from removing our gorl from the uk because of her past history of endangering gorls in another country ??
will - 31-Oct-16 @ 11:02 AM
How does a pso stop my ex from leaving uk
Tone - 14-Oct-16 @ 8:08 PM
freeme - Your Question:
Me and my partner have been married for 3 years. We have a 7 month old baby girl. She doesn't want to be with me any more and wants to move back home to cape town. I am scared that once she does I won't see my baby girl again. I am also worried how she will survive as wages are not great there, she has family witch will help her to start with. I don't know what to do. I don't want things to end badly between us and don't particularly want to stop her but I don't feel it would be a good move for our daughter.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. As specified in the article, if you have parental responsibility for your child, then your partner will have to request your consent in order to move away. If she does move, you will still be responsible for paying child maintenance for your daughter until she reaches school leaving age regardless of her living abroad. If the situation deteriorates and you feel your partner may move away without your consent, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their child. Of course, working it out with your partner is the best option, as is coming to an agreement that will suit you both. I wish you the best of luck.
SeparatedDads - 23-Aug-16 @ 12:59 PM
Me and my partner have been married for 3 years. We have a 7 month old baby girl. She doesn't want to be with me any more and wants to move back home to cape town. I am scared that once she does i won't see my baby girl again. I am also worried how she will survive as wages are not great there, she has family witch will help her to start with. I don't know what to do. I don't want things to end badly between us and don't particularlywant to stop her but i don't feel it would be a good move for our daughter.
freeme - 23-Aug-16 @ 12:04 AM
Vilu- Your Question:
Hi , I'm married to Marocan but sepreted , he's trying to get my 7 months old son back to Morocco but I don't want too as he was born in the Uk. Also , he was violent and abusive towards us and just wondering who the court give the son or is he gonna have any chances to have him at all ?

Our Response:
The UK court will not award custody of your son to his father and allow him to remove your child from the country, especially if you are currently separated and you are the primary carer. However, while not wishing to alarm you, if you are concerned that your ex may try to abduct your child, then you need to seek legal advice asap. Please see abduction link here and What Happens If My Ex Keeps the Children Without My Consent? here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 17-Aug-16 @ 12:27 PM
Hi , I'm married to Marocan but sepreted , he's trying to get my 7 months old son back to Morocco but I don't want too as he was born in the Uk. Also , he was violent and abusive towards us and just wondering who the court give the son or is he gonna have any chances to have him at all ?
Vilu - 16-Aug-16 @ 10:41 PM
@Donna60 - your ex could be done for abduction if he tries to take your child without consent. Just don't let your child near him if you are in fear, as it's better to try to prevent the situation rather than resolve it. As once out of the country it becomes very difficult to trace a person, especially in Egypt.
Mari - 8-Aug-16 @ 12:56 PM
My Egyptian husband In UK on spouse visa we have baby 9months old we separated and home office have curtailed his visa asking him to leave UK voluntarily he works in UK on temp contract. He is not on child's birth cert has no PR and I never registered the Islamic marriage in UK although it is stamped in Cairo British embassy. Married in Alexandria In public notarized office with 2 male witnesses. I will divorce him In UK eventually but hopefully he be outa UK soon . has anyone any advice he threatens to take baby and I have left him due to domestic violence. He doesn't see baby I have police records
Donna60 - 7-Aug-16 @ 10:30 PM
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