Can I Stop My Ex Moving Our Children Abroad?
Q.
My ex-wife and I have enjoyed a 6-year period of shared responsbility for our two 9-year-old twins (a boy and a girl). This is now threatened by my ex-wife and latest husband wanting to live in France for a year from next July with my kids, who will then be 10 years old, nearly 11.
I do not feel the experience of being uprooted to a foreign country, albeit one they have visited many times on hoilday, will be a positve one for them and I feel they will loose out significantly from loss of contact with myself. I have expressed many of these feelings to her to no avail. Our current arrangement is Sunday to Tuesday at their mums, Wednesday to Saturday at mine.
I was unmarried to their mother at birth, but was named on the certificate. I then married the mother and before we divorced returned to the registrar to amend the entry etc. Do I have parental rights and is court the only likely way of resolving this form of dispute?
(I.C, 19 October 2008)
A.
You obviously have what’s called parental responsibility for your children since the divorce. That gives you a position of some strength, although it’s not as good as you might wish under the circumstances.
If your ex had sole responsibility, then she’d have no problem moving to France with the children, barring a court order preventing it.
As it stands, then, that doesn’t apply, and she would need your oral or written permission in order to move with the children. If the residence order means the kids spend part of the week with you, then she will need your written consent.
Of course, you have the option to withhold your consent, and it certainly sounds as if you’re not too happy about the situation. But you’d be better served if the two of you can come to a mutual agreement on the situation. Why is that a good idea?
The simple fact is that your ex can apply to the court to be allowed to take the children abroad, and there’s a fair chance that she’ll be granted permission by the court.
You’d be well advised to talk to your solicitor first to assess your full legal options. If it does come to court, you’ll need to mount good objections to your ex taking the kids abroad to live. Much of that strategy would be on how it affects the kids themselves, since that should be the focus for the court. It’s one that might serve you well, since the court could be encouraged to take testimony from the children themselves.
That’s not good news overall, and certainly not reassuring news, unfortunately. That also makes it a good idea to try to work something out with your ex, if that’s at all possible. Otherwise, there’s going to be even more animosity than there is now, which makes things worse for the children, too.
Keep your tempers in control where you talk to your ex, and keep the focus on the children and what’s best for them. Divorce can be traumatic enough for them, although you’ve all apparently coped with it quite well to date. Keep them at the centre of things, always.
You might also like...
Comments...
Ive been left my ex partner for 3 and a bit years now and my 3yr old daughter has always lived with me. She use to have contact with her dad but he was always unreliable. After 6 months of no contact with him at all, since Christmas my daughter now sees her dad at a contact centre for both our safety. I'm with an American and there is a chance we may have to leave the uk but that wouldn't be til 2014. Is there anyways my ex could stop me from leaving with my daughter even if I offered him to come to America to visit and see her and if I was to travel back home. So that way everyone gets to see her. Could he stop me?
scissors_clippers - 31 January 2012 @ 6:22 PM
My ex is wanting to move to america with my 6 year old I have the parental rights so could thearetically stop it but she has offered to have a contract drawn up where he would be sent over here for periods through the year my question is what would happen if she broke such an agreement what rights would I have with my son already living in another country
jacko - 30 January 2012 @ 9:38 AM
My ex recently moved to China and I consented to my 13 year old son moving with her, she has also married her partner and he has moved there as well, I heard from my daughter that my ex is earning in excess of £75,ooo per year, double what she was in UK ( POSSIBLY TAX FREE ). What do I now have to pay her if she has moved out of Europe and is earning so much, I currently pay £400 per month which includes my 18 year old daughter in full time education in UK.
gagsy63 - 29 January 2012 @ 1:26 AM
I live and work in the UK and am a UK citizen. My ex-wife is a French citizen living and working in Germany. We separated three years ago and have two children. I relocated back to the UK in 2009 in search of work as I was working freelance in Germany. The divorce was finalised in December 2010. While I was in Germany I saw my children most days and due to physical abuse from my ex-wife and working on low wage I relocated back to the UK. I secured full-time work in February 2011 and since moving back to the UK I visited my children once a month until the divorce was finalised and had to commence paying the benefit payments under the Dusseldorfer Tabelle I could only afford to visit once every other month or every 6-7 weeks but for longer periods. I also have been able to have the children for two weeks in the summer holidays. However, I remarried in March 2011 have a child on the way. As a result my ex-wife wishes to sue me for more money. What are my options?
Chris - 24 January 2012 @ 7:27 PM
Hi, I am a father of 6 years boy and now I am moving back to Italy. ( I am living in London at the moment since 2009)Since 2009 Iam a single father and I am supporting my son giving some money to her mother. I just want to know how much would be good to give for supporting my son due in a few months I will move to Italy.thank you tom
tom - 19 January 2012 @ 6:27 PM
Hi. I have a question. my ex husband is ok with moving abroad with my 6 year old. This is only temporarily as he is looking to move there in 2 years time. apart from his oral consent do I still need his written consent?
Alexandra - 16 January 2012 @ 1:53 PM
Hello. I am the single mother of a four year old girl. Her father lives a six hour drive away from us and does not pay child support. He was an abusive alcoholic when I was with him and he currently has a child molestation charge against him for a girlfriend's daughter. I am going to family court to get permission to relocate to the US as I am a citizen here. My question is, with my daughter being an Australian citizen, what is required for her to be made an American citizen or resident? Will the American government require me to have full custody or court orders giving me permission to relocate? Any help would be very much appreciated.
singlemum - 16 January 2012 @ 9:11 AM
If you have parental responsibility (were married or had the child after 2001 if unmarried) then consent is required from one parent for the other to take the child out of the country. An appeal must be lodge as soon as possible before 5 years. I am no solicitor but have has my child abducted from UK to Italy. Unfortunately I found this information too late to help me. I hope it can help some of you.
dodogrande - 14 January 2012 @ 11:37 AM
I wonder if you could give me some advice and guidence in relation to potential access problems to my 12yr old son, who stays with me on a regular basis and have a fantastic relationship with.
I live on the Isle of Wight, and have recently noticed that my ex-wife and partener have a `sold' board on her property and have learnt they are intending to move to the mainland, this is obviously a concern to me as it will have a major impact on access to my son. All his family are here on the Isle of Wight, including both sets of grandparents although my ex has had no contact with her own parents since our split nearly 3 years ago, my son sees both his maternal and paternal grandparents through myself only.
If she does move away with her partner and my son, what rights do I have to access??? Will she have to meet me halfway, for instance take my son to the Isle of Wight ferry every fortnight and I return him back home or vice versa??? As he has regular contact with the rest of his family, grandparents, brother etc who all live on the Island affect matters??? What happens if my son does not want to move away and she is adamant that he has to move with her??
I would very much appreciate some help with this.
IanT - 20 December 2011 @ 8:58 AM
Hi, iv just found out my ex is taking my 5 yr old daughter abroad in 2 days to live without telling me, very extreme I know. I have been having my daughter every other weekend and recently every weekend for the past 6 weeks due to her wanting to go out which I dont mind at all more time with my child. I have found out she has sold all her belongings,car, furniture etc and her new boyfriend of 4 months has also done the same and she has also been telling my daughter not to tell me things which is quite cynical, how im feeling right now can not be described, im on the birth certificate I do not pay maitenance as the mother spends it on herself so I buy new clothes when my daughter needs them, school clothes, shoes,trainers etc, surely this is a form of kidnap and I can stop this from happening. I really need some advice asap thank you
kangood - 27 November 2011 @ 2:44 AM
i am wanting to moveback to UK to be with my only family,i live in australia atm,i have 3 children age 16 who doesnt have anything to do with her dad and to twin boys who are 12 in janurary only one of the boys sees their dad the other refuses.thier dad got arrested 5yrs ago for downloading children porn also having pictures of children in his home.he is not the greatest of parents.i want to go home i have been here since 1995 but need to go home now i have never liked australia i have only stayed here for the children,when will the stupid court system listen to what i want and also the children i get told its 11 then 12 it seems the law changes when it suits them.
della - 29 October 2011 @ 10:25 PM
My divorce was concluded last year. we had a lengthy court case over access, he was granted the access he wanted, i was granted full residency. since then, he has moved to germany as he is in the army. he wrote to the court and told them he no longer needed the contact agreement we had, and no longer wanted to pursue the case as he had moved country and since remarried to the girl he left me for. they now have two children together. i have also remarried to my partner who has brought up my son since he was 13 months old, he is now 4. we now have two daughters. my new husband is also in the army, and my worry is that if we get posted abroad, which looks quite likely for next year, could my ex stop us taking my son even though he himself is in the forces and lives abroad? he threatened me with such action today, he basically told me unless i give him access whenever he asks for it, he will drag me back to court and make sure myself and my husband are not able to ever move with my son, meaning as a family we would be separated. can he really do this being in the army and living abroad himself? and for the record, i have not ever stopped him seeing our son, my only debate today was him demanding to have him on my husbands only leave before he goes to afghan when we want to be together for the last time in six months, this he should have understood since he returned from there himself a few days ago. please help me, i don't want to fight over my son, i don't want arguments, all i want is for everyone to agree together.
momof3 - 27 October 2011 @ 6:20 PM
Even though you have shared responsibilty for your children, your ex isn’t legally obliged to live near you. Living this distance away will no doubt mean that you don't get to see your kids as much. You might need to apply for a change in your Contact Order, but this can be a gruelling procedure, not to mention expensive, since you’ll want to have a solicitor to represent you. You will still be expected to Pay Child Support as before.
SeparatedDads - 1 August 2011 @ 1:47 PM
Can my ex girlfriend move 70 miles away as she says she is looking for work there even tho I have full parental rights?Won in court 2 years ago. I have my son 2 nights a week overnight plus another evening from 5-9pm, I have him on easter, summer, October & xmas breaks and have paid over 40 pounds a month extra in child maintenance since splitting 6 years ago as a good will gesture to help with hew financial situation.
gonty - 31 July 2011 @ 5:04 PM
Does my partner need to continue paying child maintenance? My partner pays over £500 pcm to his ex-wife in child maintenance, 20% of his nett income for his two daughters aged 11 and 6. The court order states that he is to pay child maintenance in accordance with the CSA regulations although he does not pay through the CSA. Last week he was informed that his ex indends to take the children to Switzerland to live permanently within the next few months. Should she be successful in this will he still have to pay this child maintenance? Can she get a Swiss court order for child maintenance, the divorce took place in this country? I have looked on various sites including the CSA's and am being given conflicting opinions. We really cannot afford any more solicitor's fees to find out as we already have lost over £30,000 to legal fees just getting contact orders which his ex has broken repeatedly! Sadly we now have no contact.It is not the case that we do not want to support his children we would just prefer to do it in a way which benefits them directly i.e. paying for swimming lessons, music lessons, school trips etc directly instead of giving money to their mother which she sadly spends solely on herself, all her living costs are already covered as she is on benefits anyway! I am aware we could not do that in this country but would it be possible if she does move to Switzereland?We would both be most grateful for any advice.
Rachel - 26 July 2011 @ 11:25 PM
Can I ask you from a fathers point of view what you think about my situation please? I have been divorced around 9 years (separated 10). My ex husband has never paid me any maintenance. He moved to Spain around 6 years ago to run some sort of holiday business which runs around 6 months of the year. He has no home in the UK and when he does return he expects to be able turn up and see the kids whenever it he wants. To keep the peace I just go with it as he sees them maybe twice a month for a couple of hours. I'm getting married to my American fiance and plan to move there early next year. My ex husband has totally refused consent and told me the kids are staying put. They want to go (ages 14, 11 and 18). I'm having to now use my hard earned savings to get an agreement through the courts and I think its unfair that he pays nothing, suns it up living a single mans life abroad most of the year and can still have parental rights and hold us back. We will have a much improved lifestyle in USA and we have chosen an area with great schools. What do you think?
Little Rainy - 16 June 2011 @ 1:28 PM
Hi, I have a 5 year old daughter with my ex girlfriend and we broke up a few years ago.Despite this, I stayed in the same city as them so I could continue having a strong relationship with my daughter.Since we broke up, my ex has done everything possible to try and faze me out of the relationship with my little girl.After lengthy visits to solicitors and mediators, I finally thought things were getting easier and it didn't have to go as far as court.I saw my daughter every other weekend, and more often if possible and also paid Child Support as well as paying into a Child Trust Fund account for when she is older.
My ex then informed me that she had met a guy from Seattle, and said that she wanted to relocate to the USA to be with him.Obviously, I was unsure of allowing this because of past trust issues, but I was assured that there would be no problems with communication etc and was manipulated into signing the 'agreement' to let them go.
Now they have been in the states for a few months.When they first moved, and I called my daughter she was very excited to speak with me.Now all of a sudden she does not want to speak with me, which I find very strange - I dont believe that a 5 year old can go from having a loving relationship with her father, to this without any influence from her Mother or her new husband.On top of this, my ex refuses to communicate with me and her husband is trying to dictate to me when I can speak to my daughter etc (also has been constantly telling me that she doesn't love me anymore!).
Obviously the 8 hour time difference, and our working hours make it difficult for me to keep contact at the time he has dictated and they dont seem to take any of this into consideration.
Can anyone please tell me where I stand under British or U.S. law with regards to this as I feel like my hands are tied and I am losing my daughter??My ex's new husband has even threatened me with "abandonment", which leads me to believe that he is going to attempt to adopt her without my permission (my ex asked if I would let him, and I said no as I felt she rushed into all this - she married him before moving!).Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Chris - 15 June 2011 @ 1:40 PM
It's the 21st century and men are just as capable of looking after a child as women when are the courts going to realise that they have to start doing there job instead of taking the pay cheque and simply siding with Mum to make their lives easier. Women have far too much power and I think a taste of their own medicine is required I.E if they decide to move abroad they have to leave the kids behind when Dad disagrees with their decision and that means ban them fullstop no applications for leave to remove from the jurisdiction just a straight up answer of NO. Should my ex get to remove my child I will be making a residency application so she has to return to fight through the courts as the American immigration laws state that she cannot live there until the residency issue is resolved.
Marcus - 13 June 2011 @ 6:38 PM
Hi, my ex wife has stated that SHE needs a new start and is thinking of moving away closer to her new partner, 2 months, and taking my 3 young daughters out of there school to where they know nobody and have no family support. I have them 3 nights per week, but this would significantly reduce when she moves. I know all 3 of my girs would be devastated. There are no Contact Orders in place and I pay happily through the CSA, which is a funny story in itself (shes getting less after threatening CSA than what I was happy to pay voluntarily) etc, but I gave up my home to allow them to keep their house, now this. Do I have any options?
drew - 11 April 2011 @ 5:06 PM
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
