Using Mediation Effectively

Separation or Divorce is never an enjoyable process and sorting out the practicalities is usually hindered by feelings of anger, bitterness and resentment. For the sake of you own wellbeing and that of your child, you need to find a way to make the transition as smooth as possible. Your ex is the mother of your child and however you feel about her, she will always be part of your life. You need to both commit to working together to find the best solution for your child and agree suitable custody and visitation rights.

Why Use Mediation?

Having been through a separation it is unlikely that you and your partner are communicating very well. A mediator acts as a neutral third party to help you sort through all the issues, both emotional and practical, that are preventing you form moving on. As well as saving you a lot of time, money and heartache in the legal process, they can help you and your ex find a way to work together for the wellbeing of your child.

How to Choose a Mediator?

There are many different organisations that provide mediation services from government run schemes to private practices. For your mediator to have a positive effect it has to be someone that both you and your ex feel comfortable with. Choose a location that is convenient for you both and don’t be afraid to speak up if you are not satisfied with the person you first see.

Committing to Mediation

For mediation to work effectively you and your ex both need to be fully engaged and willing to work hard. Talking about your feelings, splitting assets and arranging visitation to see your child is never going to be easy. However, the more committed you are to finding a solution the quicker and easier the whole process will be.

Stepping Out Alone

Seeking mediation is a positive first step to building a communication channel with your ex. However, your mediator is not going to hold your hand forever and you need to use what you have learnt to move forward. Take the mature approach, setting an example and never letting old feelings cloud your judgement. Focus on your child and what you need to do to make their life good. If your ex is being awkward then stay calm and suggest returning to mediation to find common ground.

When tensions are running high it can be difficult to see your situation objectively. Using mediation is a great way to learn to work together and find ways to communicate. Not only will mediation save you money and time with the legal process, it will pave the way for your future. Once you have found a mediator that you are happy with it is important that you and your ex commit to it. Keep the needs of your child at the forefront of you mind and when the mediation is over use the tools you have learnt to move forward and keep communicating calmly and maturely with your ex.

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