Home > Legal > Shared Custody of Your Children

Shared Custody of Your Children

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 23 Feb 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Contact Residency Visitation Custody

There are numerous questions surrounding shared custody. What is it? How does it work? And how is it different to contact (as visitation is called these days)?

In many instances, residence (custody) is granted to the mother, and you, as the father have your contact rights set out. With shared custody, your children split their time between their mother and you. The amount varies – it can be as much as 70% with the mother, for instance – but it means you have much greater contact with them. It presumes, of course, that both the mother and father are fit parents.

UK Lagging Behind

It’s an idea that has widespread popularity in Europe, and in the U.S. it’s becoming more common, although the UK has lagged behind in adopting it.

Shared custody demands a high level of commitment from both parents. If you’re going to have your children for three days a week, then during that time you have you need to make sure your schedule revolves around them.

The Advantages of Shared Custody

Shared custody, shared residency or shared parenting as it's also known, can offer several distinct advantages, both for parents and children. For separated fathers, it means they can be far more involved with their children, seeing them on a regular, extended basis every week. Moreover, it also means that neither parent is carrying the entire burden of parenting while the other is considered absent.

With standard Contact Orders, one parent has the majority of responsibility for the day-to-day routine, while the other – usually the separated father – sees the children at the weekend or selected weekdays.

Shared custody means your Children Have Two Homes, two stable bases where they can feel secure. Above all, it means they continue to have a real family life with both parents, which makes them feel more loved.

Research has determined that when children have experience of shared custody they have better relationships with both parents and are more satisfied with their lives. It’s also shown that even when there’s strong animosity between the parents, shared custody works well for the children.

The Disadvantages of Shared Custody

For shared custody to work, you have to live fairly close to you ex, for your children to continue to attend the same schools, see their friends, and so on. This can create social problems for the parents, since proximity means an increased chance of contact with your Ex Partner.

Also, if your job or circumstances change and you have to move elsewhere, then the change from shared custody to contact can create emotional problems for your children (the same can apply if your ex has to move for any reason). In other words, by its nature there has to be a certain amount of flexibility in the plan.

Shared Custody in the UK

At present, shared custody/residency is not the norm in Britain, although several organisations are trying to increase its visibility and prominence. The Shared Parenting Information Net and the Equal Parenting Council are both working to make it a very acceptable option here.

Just because it's not necessarily the norm, does not mean you can’t bring up the idea in Mediation or through your solicitor as a viable means of custody. In most instances, children are also given a say in where they spend their time, and where they have excellent relationships with both parents, it means they’re not in a position where they have to “choose” between Mum and Dad.

What Next?

Why not have a read through our article on Making Joint Decisions About Your Child's Future for some advice and guidance on how you and your ex partner can make parenting decisions together.

** NEW** Separated Dads Chat Room & Forum

The Separated Dads Forum is a place where you can discuss relevant issues and concerns including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or just have a general chat with other dads.

Please help us launch it and make it a great resource for dads going through difficult times. We hope to see you on the Forum soon....

You might also like...
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Thank you. We have children every weekend Friday to Sunday and all school holidays summer holidays usually have them for the ,6 weeks and same over Christmas have them the duration and all holidays in between. We live about 20 minutes drive from the children and would have them throughout the week if their school was closer to drop them off each day I think we will go down the route of court proceedings as we want the children with us as financially and all round they would be better off thank you for your help.
M71 - 23-Feb-17 @ 4:27 PM
M71 - Your Question:
Thank you for your response. However she has not named me as the father and only by chance did I find out two years ago I was not on birth certificate as wanted to open accounts for my children. When I asked her about this she said that I knew in which if I did know I would have done something long ago. I printed all the forms out and produced them to her to have my name on their birth certificates but she said no as I would take the kids off her. The woman is unstable and social services are already involved. If I went through correct channels I would only have to pay her 32.00 a week both children have asked to live with me and my partner as they are well looked after. But cause I don't have any parental rights over my children I can't do this at present. She will not let my son even though she don't want him there as she gets DLA for him and will gladly let my son come to stay but not give up the money. We have wrote everything down and going to phone social services for them to come to see us as things can no longer go on. Also when the children are with us for weeks at a time do we still have to pay the mother child maintenance?

Our Response:
Some of the details you have given are a little confusing, but I will try to answer them as best I can. Firstly, if you take the matter to court for Parental Responsibility, you will be able to have more of a say in the regarding the welfare of your children and on the back of this you can apply to the court for official contact/access of your children, if you choose. It would then depend upon how often you were allowed to have the children overnight, as to how much child maintenance you would have to pay (a court order would make this official). However, child maintenance is based upon an average across the year, so even if you have the children for a holiday etc, you would still have to pay the same amount. I hope this makes sense.
SeparatedDads - 23-Feb-17 @ 12:22 PM
Thank you for your response. However she has not named me as the father and only by chance did I find out two years ago I was not on birth certificate as wanted to open accounts for my children. When I asked her about this she said that I knew in which if I did know I would have done something long ago. I printed all the forms out and produced them to her to have my name on their birth certificates but she said no as I would take the kids off her. The woman is unstable and social services are already involved. If I went through correct channels I would only have to pay her 32.00 a week both children have asked to live with me and my partner as they are well looked after. But cause I don't have any parental rights over my children I can't do this at present. She will not let my son even though she don't want him there as she gets DLA for him and will gladly let my son come to stay but not give up the money. We have wrote everything down and going to phone social services for them to come to see us as things can no longer go on. Also when the children are with us for weeks at a time do we still have to pay the mother child maintenance?
M71 - 23-Feb-17 @ 11:43 AM
Thank you for your response. However she has not named me as the father and only by chance did I find out two years ago I was not on birth certificate as wanted to open accounts for my children. When I asked her about this she said that I knew in which if I did know I would have done something long ago. I printed all the forms out and produced them to her to have my name on their birth certificates but she said no as I would take the kids off her. The woman is unstable and social services are already involved. If I went through correct channels I would only have to pay her 32.00 a week both children have asked to live with me and my partner as they are well looked after. But cause I don't have any parental rights over my children I can't do this at present. She will not let my son even though she don't want him there as she gets DLA for him and will gladly let my son come to stay but not give up the money. We have wrote everything down and going to phone social services for them to come to see us as things can no longer go on. Also when the children are with us for weeks at a time do we still have to pay the mother child maintenance?
M71 - 23-Feb-17 @ 11:04 AM
Thank you for your response. However she has not named me as the father and only by chance did I find out two years ago I was not on birth certificate as wanted to open accounts for my children. When I asked her about this she said that I knew in which if I did know I would have done something long ago. I printed all the forms out and produced them to her to have my name on their birth certificates but she said no as I would take the kids off her. The woman is unstable and social services are already involved. If I went through correct channels I would only have to pay her 32.00 a week both children have asked to live with me and my partner as they are well looked after. But cause I don't have any parental rights over my children I can't do this at present. She will not let my son even though she don't want him there as she gets DLA for him and will gladly let my son come to stay but not give up the money. We have wrote everything down and going to phone social services for them to come to see us as things can no longer go on. Also when the children are with us for weeks at a time do we still have to pay the mother child maintenance?
M71 - 22-Feb-17 @ 7:28 PM
M71 - Your Question:
Me and my ex split up 9 years ago. I have a 10 & 13 year old. I have my children every weekend Fri to Sunday every school holiday for the duration I take them away abroad 3 times a year. I pay their mother everyweek £50 but also buy everything for my children. We worked it out last year we had my children for 165 days which if I had it my way would be full time. The money I give to her does not go on the children it is used for gambling and other things which are totally not kid related. Also two years ago I found out I was not on the both children's birth certificate I should have stopped the payments then. Since then I have had DNA tests done and she still won't put me on birth certificate so I don't get any legal parental rights. I buy the children clothing and made sure they are clean and well fed. Can I stop paying her direct and put money into their accounts??

Our Response:
Regardless of whether you are named on the birth certificate, if your ex named you as the father of her children, then you are responsible for paying child maintenance for your children. If your DNA test had proved you were not the father, then child maintenance would have stopped. Your ex does not have to justify what she spends the money on - it can go towards unseen items such as utility bills etc. If you want further parental rights over your children, you can apply to court for parental responsibility, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 22-Feb-17 @ 12:53 PM
paul - Your Question:
Hi, me and my wife are just starting the split up process. My little boy spends all his time with me, always has done. if his mom is not at work she spends very little time with him. she has been suffering from depression for some time and this is the major cause of the split. I plan on going for joint custody as I am self employed and already do all the child care. If we are awarded joint custody50/50% or possibly 60/40 to me, is there any way that I could end up paying her anything ongoing.Thanks

Our Response:
If you become the non-resident parent and not the primary carer of your child, then you may have to pay some child maintenance dependent upon the amount of times you have your child overnight. If you have joint-residency officially then you will not have to pay child maintenance. However, generally the person who is in receipt of child benefit is considered the primary carer. Ideally, the care of your child should be negotiated amicably between you. If not, mediation is the next port of call and if neither of you can still agree, then court is seen as the last resort.
SeparatedDads - 22-Feb-17 @ 11:18 AM
Me and my ex split up 9 years ago. I have a 10 & 13 year old. I have my children every weekend Fri to Sunday every school holiday for the durationI take them away abroad 3 times a year. I pay their mother everyweek £50 but also buy everything for my children. We worked it out last year we had my children for 165 days which if I had it my way would be full time. The money I give to her does not go on the children it is used for gambling and other things which are totally not kid related. Also two years ago I found out I was not on the both children's birth certificate I should have stopped the payments then. Since then I have had DNA tests done and she still won't put me on birth certificate so I don't get any legal parental rights. I buy the children clothing and made sure they are clean and well fed. Can I stop paying her direct and put money into their accounts??
M71 - 21-Feb-17 @ 8:30 PM
Hi, me and my wife are just starting the split up process. My little boy spends all his time with me, always has done. if his mom is not at work she spends very little time with him. she has been suffering from depression for some time and this is the major cause of the split.I plan on going for joint custody as i am self employed and already do all the child care. If we are awarded joint custody50/50% or possibly 60/40 to me, is there any way that i could end up paying her anything ongoing.Thanks
paul - 21-Feb-17 @ 4:23 PM
LM86 - Your Question:
My daughters dad and I split up when my daughter was a year and 3 months old, he then moved away from our home on one side of the country in Scotland to the south of England. He now has a one year old daughter with someone else but since this has happened the money I get from him is never on time and always a bit short and there is no communication on when it will be late. He keeps blaming his work saying that he doesn't get paid on time etc. We just have a family based arrangement just now. If I ever bring up the late payments etc he always says he is going to apply for custody of my daughter. I have never said he couldn't have her when he wanted her for holidays and I even suggest to him when he can have her and we take turn about for Christmass and birthdays. I am just really wondering where I would stand with getting a more regular maintenance from him, should I just go through csa? What are the actual chances that if he applied for custody that he could get her? I understand every case is different but I am at my wits end getting threatened for custody when I bring up getting no money so just curious where I stand or who I can talk too about it

Our Response:
You can apply via the CMS for child maintenance, please see link here. Your ex would not be granted 'custody' of your child through the courts. It is very rare that a court will take a child from one parent and hand the child over to another for no good reason. The main aim of the courts is to decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child and it will opt for stability and consistency every time.
SeparatedDads - 21-Feb-17 @ 12:18 PM
My daughters dad and i split up when my daughter was a year and 3 months old, he then moved away from our home on one side of the country in Scotland to the south of England. He now has a one year old daughter with someone else but since this has happened the money I get from him is never on time and always a bit short and there is no communication on when it will be late. He keeps blaming his work saying that he doesn't get paid on time etc. We just have a family based arrangement just now. If I ever bring up the late payments etc he always says he is going to apply for custody of my daughter.I have never said he couldn't have her when he wanted her for holidays and I even suggest to him when he can have her and we take turn about for Christmass and birthdays. I am just really wondering where I would stand with getting a more regular maintenance from him, should I just go through csa? What are the actual chances that if he applied for custody that he could get her? I understand every case is different but I am at my wits end getting threatened for custody when I bring up getting no money so just curious where I stand or who I can talk too about it
LM86 - 20-Feb-17 @ 3:07 PM
How can a mother think it's acceptable to tell a dad that a couple nights a week is "sufficient" when she has the child every day. I'm so fed up with hearing mothers think that kids are better off with them and dads have to fit in. It takes two people to have a child, there fore why should a dad had to go one week to the next without seeing their child. This message is for kmkm.
Cas123 - 14-Feb-17 @ 9:29 PM
Hi I left my ex almost a year ago now I had regular access to my daughter every weekend. Had a brilliant relationship with her and she absolutely loved spending time with me. Now my ex has decided to stop my daughter from seeing me, for reasons that are not my fault.Now she claims universal credit and understand she will get legal aid for the mediation but there is a good chance we could be going to court because she won't agree with the times I want my daughter.My question is if it goes as far as court will she have to pay any legal fees or will it all be down to me??. There was no domestic violence involved and she was the one that stopped me seeing my daughter it wasn't my choice.
John - 10-Feb-17 @ 6:59 PM
Confused - Your Question:
I really dont no where to start I split up with my ex 4 years ago I have a 6 year old child with him he sees his child once a week for a hour because I got advised off a solicitor that I had to safeguard my child because on a weekend he wouldnt show up or he would turn up hours late or turn up off his head on drugs or drink so in the end put a stop to it completley on a weekend so I wouldnt have to pick the pieces up from my devastated child. my agreement was that he could see child anytime in the week after work. my child has never stopped at dads house because I dont no where he lives and how do I no he dosent take drugs when he gets home. I got advice from a solicitor to safe guard my child as much as possible anyway I recently took him to csa he refuses to answer phone calls to them letters writen by them and is now saying he dosent see the child often enough to pay maintenance. hes now saying hes going to take me to court to see child but wont pay maintenance if he took me to court where would I stand with this am quite happy for him to see child but concerns overnight stay and with him workin in week would he get my child everyweekend yes he is on birth certificate I dont understand what games hes playing because he has never been bothered in his child never bought his child anything not once put a penny towards his child and now his mother has decided to poke her nose in and defend her son by saying he dosent need to pay for his child if he dosent see him. and also bullying me and harrassing me constantly to the point my childs getting upset my child sees nan twice a week after school and now shes saying she will turn up at school and take my child when she wants I really dont no what to do if I phoned the police for harrassment because shes threatening to take my child and harrasing me would a restraining order go against me and my child or what am in such a sticky situation luckly my oldest one is grown up now and left home never had a problem with her dad

Our Response:
Child maintenance and child access have no bearing upon each other. Regardless of whether your ex sees your child or not, he is still by law required to financially support your child until your child leaves full-time education. Access is a different matter. Your ex is allowed to either suggest mediation in order to resolve the issue betwen you, or apply through the courts to see your child if he is not satisfied with the level of contact or access he currently has. The court will then decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child and any court order will have to be adhered to. On another note, your ex's mother has no right to make threats that she will come to the school and take your child and a word with the headteacher will help here, or a letter from a solicitor outlining her lack of rights may also help to put the issue into perspective. Please also see Mediation link here. Mediation is always a better solution than dragging the matter through court. However, you would have open to negotiation.
SeparatedDads - 7-Feb-17 @ 10:38 AM
Gaz - Your Question:
Hi, my fiance and I have split only recently, I am already reluctant 2 pay her anything towards child maintenance because has taken a lot of money with her she wasn't allowed 2. I have our 5 year old son on Tuesday nights, Thursday nights and Friday evening up until Sunday evenings every other weekend, I have said I will provide him with everything, clothes, uniform, toiletries food and drink, do I still have 2 pay the full 58 pound a month 4 child maintenance?

Our Response:
If you have a family-based arrangement, then you can pay whatever you agree mutually between you and are not liable for arrears. If you have an arrangement via the CMS, then regardless of what you provide for your child, you still first and foremost have to pay child maintenance. Anything you pay beyond the assessed CMS payment is seen as discretionary and will not be taken into account. This means if you continue to pay outside the CMS agreement, you will be liable for CMS arears.
SeparatedDads - 6-Feb-17 @ 1:59 PM
I really dont no where to start i split up with my ex 4 years ago i have a 6 year old child with him he sees his child once a week for a hour because i got advised off a solicitor that i had to safeguard my child because on a weekend he wouldnt show up or he would turn up hours late or turn up off his head on drugs or drink so in the end put a stop to it completley on a weekend so i wouldnt have to pick the pieces up from my devastated child.. my agreement was that he could see child anytime in the week after work... my child has never stopped at dads house because i dont no where he lives and how do i no he dosent take drugs when he gets home... i got advice from a solicitor to safe guard my child as much as possible anyway i recently took him to csa he refuses to answer phone calls to them letters writen by them and is now saying he dosent see the child often enough to pay maintenance... hes now saying hes going to take me to court to see child but wont pay maintenance if he took me to court where would i stand with this am quite happy for him to see child but concerns overnight stay and with him workin in week would he get my child everyweekend yes he is on birth certificate i dont understand what games hes playing because he has never been bothered in his child never bought his child anything not once put a penny towards his child and now his mother has decided to poke her nose in and defend her son by saying he dosent need to pay for his child if he dosent see him.. and also bullying me and harrassing me constantly to the point my childs getting upset my child seesnan twice a week after school and now shes saying she will turn up at school and take my child when she wants i really dont no what to do if i phoned the police for harrassment because shes threatening to take my child and harrasing me would a restraining order go against me and my child or what am in such a sticky situation luckly my oldest one is grown up now and left home never had a problem with her dad
Confused - 6-Feb-17 @ 2:45 AM
Hi, my fiance and I have split only recently, i am already reluctant 2 pay her anything towards child maintenance because has taken a lot of money with her she wasn't allowed 2. I have our 5 year old son on Tuesday nights, Thursday nights and Friday evening up until Sunday evenings every other weekend, I have said I will provide him with everything, clothes,uniform, toiletries food and drink, do I still have 2 pay the full 58 pound a month 4 child maintenance?
Gaz - 4-Feb-17 @ 9:52 PM
Kmkm - Your Question:
Hi. My partner and I split up 1.5 years ago and have a 4 year old son.Although the split was his decision, we remained amicable and made our own arrangements regarding his access to our son.His father picks him up from school on a Monday and Wednesday and puts him to bed in my home. He also has him Friday evening to Sunday evening every other weekend when he takes him to stay at his parents or girlfriends.My ex now wishes to keep my soon over night at his place on a Monday and Wednesday - which means I'll not have my son a further two mornings a week. I feel that our current arrangement is sufficient and reasonable - where do I stand with this matter? I really do not want to lose any further time with my son! Ex does not appreciate my view and is adamant he will have 50:50 access. Advise much appreciated.

Our Response:
If you cannot agree between yourselves (you have a right to your own opinion - as your ex does with his), then you may wish to consider mediation, please see link Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. If you do not wish to discuss the matter or make any compromise, then your ex would have the option to take the matter to court. However, this does not mean the court would opt for giving him the access he has asked for. It will decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your son.
SeparatedDads - 31-Jan-17 @ 12:57 PM
Hi. My partner and I split up 1.5 years ago and have a 4 year old son. Although the split was his decision, we remained amicable and made our own arrangements regarding his access to our son. His father picks him up from school on a Monday and Wednesday and puts him to bed in my home. He also has him Friday evening to Sunday evening every other weekend when he takes him to stay at his parents or girlfriends. My ex now wishes to keep my soon over night at his place on a Monday and Wednesday -which means I'll not have my son a further two mornings a week. I feel that our current arrangement is sufficient and reasonable - where do I stand with this matter? I really do not want to lose any further time with my son! Ex does not appreciate my view and is adamant he will have 50:50 access. Advise much appreciated.
Kmkm - 30-Jan-17 @ 10:53 PM
Pclay - Your Question:
Me and my wife divorced last year we have an 8 yr old boy whom I have every weds, from school and alternate sat pm to mon am, she has threatened to stop sat nights as he has football on a Sunday. She is forever messing arranged times around to suit her self which creates a lot of unnessary stress. Is there a simple process with out the full cost of applying for joint custody (which I would be prepared to do if needed)Where abouts a court can set time and days in stone? Thank you.

Our Response:
If you wish to try to arrange specific times to see your child, then in the first instance you would need to suggest mediation, please see link here. A court will not accept an application until mediation has been considered by both parents. If your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you should apply for a child arrangement order, please see link here. Unless you already have shared care of your son, then an application for joint custody will not be considered unless necessary. A court will always decide upon what it thinks is in your child's best interests and continuity and stability is considered most important. However, the chances are it would issue and order along the same lines as your established access and this would have to then be adhered to by both parents.
SeparatedDads - 30-Jan-17 @ 10:28 AM
Me and my wife divorced last year we have an 8 yr old boy whom I have every weds, from school and alternate sat pm to mon am, she has threatened to stop sat nights as he has football on a Sunday. She is forever messing arranged times around to suit her self which creates a lot of unnessary stress. Is there a simple process with out the full cost of applying for joint custody (which I would be prepared to do if needed) Where abouts a court can set time and days in stone? Thank you.
Pclay - 29-Jan-17 @ 12:17 PM
My partner has seperated from his ex and has the 3 children 3 days a wk but she claimes for them is this right cos he is on sick and only gets payed for himself yet has t try and feed clothe and pay for the kids while there in his care which has bin writen days by a solicitor is there anything he can claim just not fair she had the money and payed for the wk of having them when she has them for half of it and he gets nothing for them and has them the other half thanks for any help you can give
Phebes - 27-Jan-17 @ 5:43 PM
Mel84 - Your Question:
Hello What constitutes a non resident parent. How many days a week minimum please?

Our Response:
A non-resident parent is in simple terms the parent who does not live with the child, and is not in receipt of any child benefits.
SeparatedDads - 27-Jan-17 @ 2:12 PM
Hello What constitutes a non resident parent. How many days a week minimum please?
Mel84 - 26-Jan-17 @ 11:38 PM
Mel - Your Question:
My ex and I have a shared residence order in place from 2010, however this has been tweaked to suit our changing needs and has worked fairly well over time. Recently he has moved in with a new girlfriend, problems have flared up due to my children not liking the arrangements and a smoky house (we don't smoke). They both drink during the evenings and can become argumentative. I have had first hand experience when his girlfriend text me to tell me they are splitting up then continuing to call me every name under the sun. Therefore I took the decision to stop overnight stays to reduce the time the children are exposed to this behaviour. Obviously this hasn't gone down well but dad hasn't contacted me much to see the children. I must add I have made it clear the children can see him every day of they wish buy no overnight stays. He has threatened to take me to court over this but I presume the residence order would not play a big part as we have almost changed it from the original order that was set on 2010. I would like to change the order to a contact order as my son hasn't stayed overnight for three nights a week for the last year and a half. Furthermore my recent concerns have amplified concerns for them whilst they are in his care. If anyone can help or has been through this process I would very much appreciate advice. Thank you

Our Response:
Although you may have changed the court order, the court order still stands and can be reverted back to, please see link here. Therefore, it means you have two options either suggest mediation to your ex in order to try to resolve your current issues, please see link here, or apply back to court to request the order is varied on the back of your ex not keeping to the original agreement. If so, you would have to prove why it is not in the best interests of your children to be in the company of your ex's current partner.
SeparatedDads - 24-Jan-17 @ 10:45 AM
I have joint custody and want to take my daughter away for two weeks her mum is saying no can she do this
B dot - 23-Jan-17 @ 6:05 PM
My ex and I have a shared residence order in place from 2010, however this has been tweaked to suit our changing needs and has worked fairly well over time. Recently he has moved in with a new girlfriend, problems have flared up due to my children not liking the arrangements and a smoky house (we don't smoke). They both drink during the evenings and can become argumentative. I have had first hand experience when his girlfriend text me to tell me they are splitting up then continuing to call me every name under the sun. Therefore I took the decision to stop overnight stays to reduce the time the children are exposed to this behaviour. Obviously this hasn't gone down well but dad hasn't contacted me much to see the children. I must add I have made it clear the children can see him every day of they wish buy no overnight stays. He has threatened to take me to court over this but I presume the residence order would not play a big part as we have almost changed it from the original order that was set on 2010. I would like to change the order to a contact order as my son hasn't stayed overnight for three nights a week for the last year and a half. Furthermore my recent concerns have amplified concerns for them whilst they are in his care. If anyone can help or has been through this process I would very much appreciate advice. Thank you
Mel - 23-Jan-17 @ 11:23 AM
Hi my wife and I split over a year ago and I brought a place local so I could have shared custody which worked really well until I met someone else,she is still with the man who she left me for so I find her reaction a bit strange. I have now been with the same woman for 7 months and she has now moved in with me however when the ex wife found out I left 1 of the boys with her while I took the other one out she went crazy and started threatening to take them off me. She claims that I'm not allowed to leave them with anyone without her permission,is this true as I find it very hard to believe. Both kids love my girlfriend and love being with her and she does everything to help them.
Coxy - 21-Jan-17 @ 10:09 AM
Geldof - Your Question:
Hi,My partner and I split up several years ago. I voluntarily pay her maintenance not via CAS based on the child support calculator, but we have an informal agreement in place to share custody, I actually have the children more often that her due to her shift work. Despite the fact I pay her full maintenance and have the children more than 50% of the time, she still seems to be able to pick and chose when she wants the kids and when not, which does cause stress within my new relationship. is there anything I can do legally (without huge cost) to assist the situation?

Our Response:
Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 13-Jan-17 @ 10:48 AM
Hi, My partner and I split up several years ago.I voluntarily pay her maintenance not via CAS based on the child support calculator, but we have an informal agreement in place to share custody, I actually have the children more often that her due to her shift work.Despite the fact I pay her full maintenance and have the children more than 50% of the time, she still seems to be able to pick and chose when she wants the kids and when not, which does cause stress within my new relationship.is there anything I can do legally (without huge cost) to assist the situation?
Geldof - 12-Jan-17 @ 9:55 AM
Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice...
Title:
(never shown)
Firstname:
(never shown)
Surname:
(never shown)
Email:
(never shown)
Nickname:
(shown)
Comment:
Validate:
Enter word:
Latest Comments
Further Reading...
Our Most Popular...
Add to my Yahoo!
Add to Google
Stumble this
Add to Twitter
Add To Facebook
RSS feed
You should seek independent professional advice before acting upon any information on the SeparatedDads website. Please read our Disclaimer.