My partner and I have a 3-year-old child and we are separated. She and our child are living in the property that we both jointly own.
She wants her new partner to move in with her, however, I am financially struggling in my new home and was wondering if I could treat him as tenant and charge rent? If I do, could there be any legal recourse if he does not accept?
(P.H, 14 October 2008)
There’s a bit of a conundrum here. You own the house jointly, which means you both have equity in it, although how much you each have probably hasn’t been decided. That means, let’s say, that half the house is hers.
From what you write, it would seem there is no written agreement between the two of you over who can live there and under what conditions. Unless your ex is renting him a portion of the house – and it would seem that they’re planning on living together as a couple – it’s unlikely that he could be considered a tenant.
That said, since the house is jointly owned, it’s likely that you and your ex are splitting the mortgage payments. If her boyfriend moves in and begins contributing to the mortgage, then you might have a valid case to have your own payment lessened.
However, it’s all a bit tricky. The ideal way would be to sit down with your ex and hammer out an agreement that’s mutually acceptable. That depends on how well you two get along, and how flexible she is on matters.
Before you do anything, though, seek some legal advice to fully establish your position in the matter.
If the two of you can come an agreement, get it in writing through your solicitors. That way, should there be a problem later, you have the paperwork if it’s possible for you to pursue things legally.
That might also have the effect of making your ex think more about moving her boyfriend in.
If they’re serious about things, you might even want to suggest they buy you out of the property. It could help bring closure on the relationship, and it could ease your Financial Pressures, too. You don’t seem to have a problem with him living in the house and being around your son, so your concerns are more financial than anything.
So, if you do come to an agreement, then after, say, six months when they’re fully established as a couple in the house, you could suggest they buy you out, which could end up making the situation easier for everyone.
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I split from my ex over 4 and a half years ago and have paid the mortgage and all utility bills since our split. She had promised to move out of he house for the last 2 years but something always happens. The house is just in my name and my ex hasn't worked for near on 15yrs. I've been in a new relationship for a year and finding it difficult to keep up with my old and new life. I don't want to put my 2 kids on the street and never would but think I've given more than enough time for my ex to find another place to go. I also don't want to lose the house bcos it is the kids family home. Am I able to rent it out to my ex so they can stay there but at least I wouldn't have to continue trying to live 2 lives? Serious replies please as my ex is a good mother and my kids are great and I just want the best way to do this which would solve both our problems.
You are under no obligation to pay for the utility bills, unless you have come to an arrangement to do this instead of paying child maintenance. You are under an obligation to continue to pay your mortgage, as stipulated in the terms of your mortgage contract. However, in a court of law, the court may allow your ex and your children to stay in the house until your children are 18 and leave full-time education or training, regardless of whether the house is solely in your name. Yes, you can ask your ex for rent or to pay the utility bills (you can negotiate this between you). Really, legal advice is needed here in order to explore your options. Mediation may also be an option, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 5-Dec-16 @ 11:40 AM
I split from my ex over 4 and a half years ago and have paid the mortgage and all utility bills since our split. She had promised to move out of he house for the last 2 years but something always happens. The house is just in my name and my ex hasn't worked for near on 15yrs. I've been in a new relationship for a year and finding it difficult to keep up with my old and new life. I don't want to put my 2 kids on the street and never would but think I've given more than enough time for my ex to find another place to go. I also don't want to lose the house bcos it is the kids family home. Am i able to rent it out to my ex so they can stay there but at least I wouldn't have to continue trying to live 2 lives? Serious replies please as my ex is a good mother and my kids are great and I just want the best way to do this which would solve both our problems.
Tigerfix - 4-Dec-16 @ 2:33 PM
@loyloy - you would need to take it through the small claims court. You will need to be able to prove that the money you gave her was not a gift, but a loan. Make sure you keep any correspondence (letters, emails, even texts) relating to this in order to back up your case. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 9-Apr-15 @ 11:18 AM
My soon to be ex daughter in law had £6,000 of my only savings and £5,000 from my 92 year old mother to help them move house telling me over the course of a year it was needed to save her and my son's marriage. 5 weeks after they moved she kicked him out and refuses to pay back any money. She said my son had bad depression (we haven'tfound it to be serious) but found out she was messaging and flirting with another man. She has my 2 grandson's but my sons, who is at present is living with us, has the boys a lot. I suggested she sold the jointly owned house, cleared all debts and there would be plenty of equity for them both to rent good homes. She refused. I am I'll but have had to go back to work as best I can. Can I make her pay myself and my mother back?
loyloy - 6-Apr-15 @ 11:43 PM
@Stevie - I have included a link to our partner site Ex Wants to Take Child to Live in an EU Country: What Are My Rights?text here. Hopefully this should help. We also have a Separated Dads Facebook page which includes a recent posting before Xmas about a similar matter and offers a lot of helpful advice from fathers having gone through the same thing.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jan-15 @ 11:30 AM
My ex wants to live in Spain with our 6(nearly7) year old daughter, we are still married and I obviously don't want my daughter going and I will fight as much and as long as I need to. My daughter doesn't want to go and would rather stay with me!! Any feedback would be much appreciated.
Stevie - 9-Jan-15 @ 7:58 PM
@John - you might be interested in our site Can Husband Force Me to Sell Our Home? It should give you some helpful information. Link here.
SeparatedDads - 27-Nov-14 @ 2:52 PM
My ex wife has moved her partner into our property. I can't believe she has streamlined him into my house (I owned it before we were married), he is not contributing anything, can I force her to sell it? I can't stand the thought of him taking over my kids, my ex and my house.
John - 26-Nov-14 @ 9:44 AM
What must i do if the first child i was maintaining through pertenity test is not mine? The second child is mine according to pertenity test. The problem is the ex is using the money to pay her own loan. she is not working and she have a loan to pay. what must I have to do?
choene - 30-Sep-14 @ 11:37 AM
My boyfriend owns a property of which his ex partner now lives in with her three children (2 of which are not his) does anyone know his rights? They have split for 2.5 years now, he still pays the full mortgage and wants his house back?
Stacy - 28-Sep-14 @ 10:53 PM
@Tracey, I suppose it depends on whether the CSA included the rent in your income calculation, was it classed as income when you sent your earnings to them? Or is the house rental new and not under way yet?
Jo - 2-Sep-14 @ 2:05 PM
Ive been divorced for 5 years and getting married again and renting my house out can my ex wife claim tthe rent through the csa even though we did full and final settlement.
Tracy - 2-Sep-14 @ 2:01 PM
I've recently got devorced.
I have joint custody of my two kids boy 7 and girl 3.
I'm a very active father and lovely dad. My kids mean the world to mean
Recently my ex approach me and advised me that she was going to take a job opportunity in Nigeria (Lagos) and will be taking the kids with.
This is the worsted possible news and would be life shattering.
What's are my options and how would I fight it.
I don't believe that this is in the best interest of the kids??
Could you advise
Jj - 18-Aug-14 @ 7:07 PM
@Dan, no your husband's nationality will not have a negative impact on your case. The judge will focus on what's best for your child and by the sounds of what you have said, your ex partner is not going to look good in the eyes of the judge as he is not doing what is expected of him in order to be able to see his child.
SeparatedDads - 14-Jul-14 @ 2:19 PM
I've been divorced/seperated for over four years now and the father hasn't been in my daughters life since day one. She is now 6. He comes and goes as he pleases and has never shown any interest being a responsible parent. He's been court ordered to stay away from Unprescribed drugs and hasrecently failed a drug test through CPS. He signed off visitations and does not have to pay child support. He's ordered to do parenting classes. Anger management. Remain a drug free life. He hasn't complied. I'm married now to my husband that is currently living in France. With him being "from another country" can that be used against me as a negative affect in a custody battle?
Dan - 13-Jul-14 @ 3:52 PM
Me and my ex have been separated for several years and we had children together who live with her.despite having long periods unemployed i have managed to keep the house i brought and continue to pay the mortgage (i am the sole owner).
i now live elsewhere and pay rent - i have now learnt my ex is looking to move her current partner in.does she need to ask my permission as i own the house? and it is right he would live there mortgage and rent free?
also she's threatening to throw my possessions away.can she do this?
stewart1701 - 2-Jul-14 @ 3:45 PM
i cannot find info anywhere to assure myself that my belongings are safe while my boyfriend is going through his divorce. his ex is now starting to withhold belongings they acquired during marriage and that is understandable what i dont get is, he found a list of items that she wrote down that are MINE that i bought and have in my house that are not hers or his because we are not married. can she come after my things too?
fear - 1-Jun-14 @ 8:08 PM
Am going to marry and my new partner owens 70% of her house her ex owens 30% he has told her that if I move in I have to pay him rent can he do this as she owens 70% and thery is a court order saying he has to pay have the mortgea aand half the house insurance which he has not been doing
boltondad - 1-Jun-14 @ 5:59 PM
Hello, after I separated last April, my ex-wife took away my 5 years old daughter with her and moved 20 miles away from home (without my consent if that's relevant..). We put our house on sale and now she told me that after the house is sold, she wants to move to Northern Ireland where part of her family lives (we have no relatives around here in Scotland). I wouldn't be able to go to Ireland that often to visit my daughter because of time and money reasons. Obviously this is going to be traumatic for my daughter who really enjoy spending time with me and we love each other. Moreover she will be forced to change school and friends again. On the separation agreement, it says that my ex-wife cannot take our daughter out of the UK without my consent, but Northern Ireland is still part of the UK. I wonder if anybody can give me some advice please. Many thanks, Konrad
Konrad - 17-Nov-13 @ 8:54 AM
You need to be really careful here....
The first thing is that she is not allowed to enforce anything but as you have left the marital home willingly (with the best of intentions) you have given her the opportunity to take control of the situation.I (limited) understanding is that the PWC (parent with care) can request to stay in the marital home until the child is older, and more often than not the court will agree.
I would suggest you seek legal advice or at least go to citizens advice bureau... Your ex cannot force you to pay half the mortgage!!However, the CSA will want a percentage of your income regardless of how much your outgoings are!!!They do not take account of the fact that you pay towards the mortgage... they are only interested in what you earn.
My honest suggestion would be that you try to set up a private arrangement to pay child maintenance at the rate the CSA calculator stipulates and set up a direct debit to her account clearly stating child maintenance.This will keep you right, should things ever get nasty.
You should read through the link "lies in separation" above, it's an eye-opener.... look after yourself and think carefully before you agree to anything with your ex.
Sally - 28-Aug-12 @ 2:36 PM
I have recently separated from my wife due to a breakdown in our relationship. She has asked me to move out of the property which I have agreed to although there are no issues such as violence or threats against property.
She has since changed the locks on the house despite the majority of my possessions being still in the house. Is she allowed to do this and what can I do to protect my own interests ?
Additionally she is asking that I pay half the mortgage on the house, plus child maintenance at the rate set by the CSA, on top of this I will have to pay private rent on the property which I move into. Speaking to friends the consensus seems to be that this is unfair. Again, is she allowed to enforce this ?