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Checklist: the Emotional Stages After Separation

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 3 Dec 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Separation Emotions Relationship Guilt

Whether you or your partner initiated the separation, breaking up is never an easy thing to do, especially when there are children involved. Even if it was your decision, and you know it is the right thing to do, you will still feel a range of emotions that can be difficult to deal with.

Take a look at our checklist which outlines the most common emotional stages you will experience. Remember that you are not crazy or weak to be feeling this way. It is important to work through your emotions and come to terms with them so that you are able to move on.

1. Denial

The first stage of separation is denial. This can begin even before the break-up, when you are denying to yourself that the relationship is in trouble. You may try to convince yourself that everything will work out or that you will eventually get back together again with your ex. This is a way to protect yourself from hurt.

2. Anger

It is natural to feel angry – both at your ex-partner and yourself. It doesn’t seem fair that this is happening to you and you want to blame someone. Anger can be a very destructive emotion, though, so it is important that you channel it constructively and don’t let it tear you apart.

3. Guilt

You feel guilty that you let your relationship fail and are breaking up the family – couldn’t you have done more? There is no point racking yourself with guilt. Things happen and it is important to learn from them and make the best of your new reality.

4. Fear

Once you have stopped denying the situation or blaming it on someone else, the truth begins to set in. You are on your own again. Out in the big wide world. Away from your child. This can be a scary prospect and you will probably be filled with fear. This is a healthy emotion that will help you decide how to move forward.

5. Grief

Even if you wanted the relationship to end, you will still feel a great sense of loss. You will be grieving for the future that you had hoped for and all those dreams that never quite came true. You need to acknowledge your grief and deal with it before you will be able to take the next step.

6. Re-invention

When you have been through a break-up many people will face a stage of re-invention. This is the point when you look at yourself and think 'what can I do differently?' or 'how can I make sure this doesn’t happen again?' Considering these things means that you are already on the road to recovery

7. Acceptance

Once you have dealt with your emotions – which can take some time – then you will move to a state of acceptance. No, it’s not the way you wanted it to turn out and yes, you probably could have done things differently, but this is where you are now, and you can start focusing on your future.

After a separation, you can find yourself on an emotional roller coaster, swinging between anger, guilt, denial and grief. This is natural but it is important to acknowledge and deal with your emotions so that you can reach a place of acceptance and be ready to put the past behind you and look towards the future.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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@rainonme.people think I have (shut down I haven’t ).people think I was hurt yeah I was at (myself) more then anything for putting up with someone like my child’s mother .all I wanted was to see my (daughter) but she put me in a (difficult situation )where things could spiral out off control and end up in a fist fight with the guy she seeing just so happens to be my uncle see my dilemma?.i really don’t want to fight just wanted to see my daughter (alone on my turf )but most people don’t have a family like mine they all wanted a peace off the pie child’s (mother) more like it .so I will wait to my daughter is 18 .
Billy - 11-Nov-19 @ 7:35 PM
I am the one who filed for divorce. I was emotional at the time and the court process a world wind as I actually filed a tro and later dismissed it. Although DV was in the relationship it wasn’t present towards me at the time I filed. Feeling that I should not continue with the TRO I dismissed the case and tried to communicate to my spouse...we have been talking and I am trying now to reconcile and he has been so hurt by me through this that he has shut down. I think I am in the denial phase. I am suffering from depression and I am just reaching out to him in pain. I look pathetic.
Rainonme - 11-Nov-19 @ 2:24 AM
So, I've looked everywhere for advice and my situation seems to be unique. See I'm a mom or at least that's what I'm supposed to be. My ex and I split up about three years ago and our son is now four. I made the conscious decision to let my son stay with his dad. See I wasn't in a financial position to support myself and my son and since I was the one leaving I wanted things to remain as normal as possible for my son. I nearly died, depression was killing me and the pain was the worst I have ever experienced. But it passed and for a while I seemed okay but I still regret all the moments I have missed. I see me son every second weekend but as he gets older I feel myself distancing from him. He is my child and I love him more than anything but I haven't felt like a mother in a long time. So, I'm not at all unhappy with my decision to leave my ex, he was verbally abusive and destructive but I can't fault him on being a dad. I just want to know if this feeling goes away, this feeling of not fully being a parent anymore.
Alone - 18-Sep-19 @ 2:02 PM
I found out four months ago my husband is a paedophile. We had just moved to Spain to start a new life when it came out. I'm alone back in England and in pieces
Doris - 26-Jul-19 @ 2:28 PM
It's very quickly 10 years since the family didn't live in the same place. It was her decision didn't want me coming home anymore in 2019. We then separated and we still are. I started from anger, grief, and forced myself to be strong, not to reaching out with wife but deep down I believe one day we will get back together as a family, I still believe that. In the early years, I was trying to keep in touch but keep it very brief, I used to see them once a week between 2009 to 2016. as I tried to give myself some self-respect, also I have work commitments. Things got worse I just went to see them once every 2 weeks 3 years ago and now less than once a month or even longer. They'd never called me, wife doesn't always answer my calls these days. My kids never answer my calls, dont even read my text messages. Talking to them become very difficult or I would say we have nothing to talk about. It's heart breaking. I got very emotional. I feel sad, the loneliness is unbearable from time to time especially at night. I blame myself, as I can't move on and they seem to be happy without me. If I don't call them from now on. That's it. I won't see my kids anymore. How have you guys dealing with your emotions? Thanks for reading.
Lonedad - 2-Apr-19 @ 5:38 PM
It's very quickly 10 years since the family didn't live in the same place. It was her decision didn't want me coming home anymore in 2019. We then separated and we still are. I started from anger, grief, and forced myself to be strong, not to reaching out with wife but deep down I believe one day we will get back together as a family, I still believe that. In the early years, I was trying to keep in touch but keep it very brief, I used to see them once a week between 2009 to 2016. as I tried to give myself some self-respect, also I have work commitments. Things got worse I just went to see them once every 2 weeks 3 years ago and now less than once a month or even longer. They'd never called me, wife doesn't always answer my calls these days. My kids never answer my calls, dont even read my text messages. Talking to them become very difficult or I would say we have nothing to talk about. It's heart breaking. I got very emotional. I feel sad, the loneliness is unbearable from time to time especially at night. I blame myself, as I can't move on and they seem to be happy without me. If I don't call them from now on. That's it. I won't see my kids anymore. How have you guys dealing with your emotions? Thanks for reading.
Lonedad - 2-Apr-19 @ 7:37 AM
@lonedad.i have (let go )and I am (strong) I will admit I am not as (confident) as I once was.i am (single bye choice )and choose to (share house) because I don’t want to be (lonely). I am nothing like the (Jason and Kelly) and (don’t want that with the mother off my child) .i explained before I had (orders) on me and had some (extremely desperate times in my life) where I wouldn’t been able to look after her in those times I can’t look after myself .but I can’t dwell on the past it’s gone now and I will see (her again ).
Chris - 2-Apr-19 @ 2:02 AM
@lonedad.my emotional state is (ok )I was never married I had a child (very young )I was( not ready or mature enough) .i stayed with the mother for a few years on and off it was alway (rocky never stable relationship lots off arguments and cheating) but we stayed together to (breaking point where someone is going to get hurt possible lucky no one did get hurt to bad there was domestic violence on my side and I was put on probation and courses for (18 months off my life it was hell and with that happening was a decision that keeped me from going to court for visitation.it was a (wake up call) for myself I was (petrified )off jail .then I got hooked on drugs ended up (homeless for years )suffering mental health issues and( contemplating suicide) likely I never did.now I am 38 and share house I wrecked my life but i have to deal with the choice I made and make the most with what I got .thanks
Chris - 2-Apr-19 @ 1:07 AM
It's very quickly 10 years since the family didn't live in the same place. It was her decision didn't want me coming home anymore in 2019. We then separated and we still are. I started from anger, grief, and forced myself to be strong, not to reaching out with wife but deep down I believe one day we will get back together as a family, I still believe that. In the early years, I was trying to keep in touch but keep it very brief, I used to see them once a week between 2009 to 2016. as I tried to give myself some self-respect, also I have work commitments. Things got worse I just went to see them once every 2 weeks 3 years ago and now less than once a month or even longer. They'd never called me, wife doesn't always answer my calls these days. My kids never answer my calls, dont even read my text messages. Talking to them become very difficult or I would say we have nothing to talk about. It's heart breaking. I got very emotional. I feel sad, the loneliness is unbearable from time to time especially at night. I blame myself, as I can't move on and they seem to be happy without me. If I don't call them from now on. That's it. I won't see my kids anymore. How have you guys dealing with your emotions? Thanks for reading.
Lonedad - 1-Apr-19 @ 11:02 PM
It's very quickly 10 years since the family didn't live in the same place. It was her decision didn't want me coming home anymore in 2019. We then separated and we still are. I started from anger, grief, and forced myself to be strong, not to reaching out with wife but deep down I believe one day we will get back together as a family, I still believe that. In the early years, I was trying to keep in touch but keep it very brief, I used to see them once a week between 2009 to 2016. as I tried to give myself some self-respect, also I have work commitments. Things got worse I just went to see them once every 2 weeks 3 years ago and now less than once a month or even longer. They'd never called me, wife doesn't always answer my calls these days. My kids never answer my calls, dont even read my text messages. Talking to them become very difficult or I would say we have nothing to talk about. It's heart breaking. I got very emotional. I feel sad, the loneliness is unbearable from time to time especially at night. I blame myself, as I can't move on and they seem to be happy without me. If I don't call them from now on. That's it. I won't see my kids anymore. How have you guys dealing with your emotions? Thanks for reading.
Lonedad - 1-Apr-19 @ 10:58 PM
It's very quickly 10 years since the family didn't live in the same place. It was her decision didn't want me coming home anymore in 2019. We then separated and we still are. I started from anger, grief, and forced myself to be strong, not to reaching out with wife but deep down I believe one day we will get back together as a family, I still believe that. In the early years, I was trying to keep in touch but keep it very brief, I used to see them once a week between 2009 to 2016. as I tried to give myself some self-respect, also I have work commitments. Things got worse I just went to see them once every 2 weeks 3 years ago and now less than once a month or even longer. They'd never called me, wife doesn't always answer my calls these days. My kids never answer my calls, dont even read my text messages. Talking to them become very difficult or I would say we have nothing to talk about. It's heart breaking. I got very emotional. I feel sad, the loneliness is unbearable from time to time especially at night. I blame myself, as I can't move on and they seem to be happy without me. If I don't call them from now on. That's it. I won't see my kids anymore. How have you guys dealing with your emotions? Thanks for reading.
Lonedad - 1-Apr-19 @ 10:55 PM
Can an admin contact me through the email I supplied trying to register but it says I'm a spammer
Neverbeenalone - 1-Mar-18 @ 5:52 PM
@Bob - it happens all the time, both ways around. But who says who we fall in love with. Non of us are sensible really. She probably didn't want to do that to the kids - but it's happened, as painful as it is for you. The good thing is that you have access to the kids. Who is to know that things might change again. She might get fed up of him. She might suddenly wake up one day and realised she has made a mistake, then again she might not. In the meantime, you have to get on with your own life and not take it personally. We all go through crises in life where we make silly decisions. But we live with them or offload them. You have a co-parenting relationship with your kids, concentrate on your time with them and you will get over this. If you can remain pals with your ex, that's your best option. If your ex sees you getting on with your life she might realise what she's missing!
Rich80 - 23-Jan-18 @ 12:51 PM
Nic75 - Your Question:
I feel so alone with the issue. I feel as though no one is listening to me only judging my emotional state. I have 5 children and until December (10 months after splitting up with their Mum) a wonderful relationship with each and the lot of them as a group. I love my kids and have now been told it could be 3yrs until I can see or speak to them again. What can I do? No one will hear me or acknowledge how difficult this is.

Our Response:
I am very sorry to hear this. You don't say whether the court has made a decision, or what has lead to this decision being proposed. A court will, where it can, try to ensure a non-resident parent has a fair amount of contact with their children after separation in order to help maintain a healthy parent/children relationship. If a three-year separation is being muted, you don't say who by and why, which makes it difficult to help with your question. In circumstances like this it is important to try to get as much helps as you possibly can and talk this through with as many people who you can, whether this is via support groups for the particular issues you are experiencing, or your GP who can refer you to a counsellor. Likewise, there are many telephone helplines such as the Samaritans who will help if you are feeling desperate or when you feel you have nowhere to turn. Please also talk to family and friends - the fact they are concerned about your emotional state means they care. Our Separated Dads forum may also help you, as will organisations such as Families Need Fathers herethat holds local branch meetings where you can receive the support you need. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 6-Apr-17 @ 11:17 AM
I feel so alone with the issue. I feel as though no one is listening to me only judging my emotional state. I have 5 children and until December (10 months after splitting up with their Mum) a wonderful relationship with each and the lot of them as a group. I love my kids and have now been told it could be 3yrs until I can see or speak to them again. What can I do? No one will hear me or acknowledge how difficult this is...
Nic75 - 5-Apr-17 @ 5:49 PM
I'am a dad of 2 children under 2. Me and and my partner had been together for 4 years. In the past 6 months my partner has become nasty with me not wanting anything to do with me . I would be left to look after the children while she went out Friday night and wouldn't come back till Sunday night. She would not text once about the children when she went out.I told her how I felt so we agreed to give it another go (Denial) if we both changed. A week after this talk the going out happened again. I said that was it as I was trying so hard on my half but wasn't getting anything back. However now I feel so lonely and sit thinking what if she had changed. All I wanted it to be a happy family and spend all our free time doing family things. Now I'm in the middle of moving out but have to move back in with my grandmother and have the kids at week ends because I can't afford a place at the minute. Besides all my heartbreak I feel like just staying in the same house and not going for the sake of the kids but know it isn't right.
Oggy - 3-Mar-17 @ 4:38 PM
I'm a dad of a 12 month old baby who has just split up with the babies mother. I caused the split and regret it (drink issues) and would do anything to turn back time. The pain is raw as only been 3 days but devastated isn't the word. We've already agreed moving out and financial things. How do you move on? How do you part time fatherhood?
leev - 7-Jan-17 @ 4:24 PM
Separated from my ex- to be wife about a year ago. We were together for more than 12 years, married for 11 years (both 35 years old). We had two great children that I love and adore so much. Our relationship was built with no foundation from the beginning hence the reason it collapsed. We both tried but didn't workout at the end. It was my decision to end it but her decision for a brief separation 5 years ago. I missed my family so much. After our separation, I have been an emotional roller coaster for 8 months out of 12, swinging between anger, guilt, denial and grief. I have managed to deal with my emotions so that you can reach a place of acceptance and be ready to put the past behind me and look towards the future. I thoughts i have moved on but I still misses them. My ex was so mean after I moved out but I tried to play this down and not involve the children. She involved children telling them Dad didn't care. We have agreed to start our divorce process now. I have to do everything that pleases her so that my children doesn't get involve with the mess we created. I have accepted my own part of the mess we both created, but she wouldn't admit her own part which I am not really bothered about.
mold - 1-Dec-16 @ 5:15 AM
evenflow - Your Question:
Is there ever a time that anyone says hey. maybe all this guilt and unsettled feelings is worth looking into instead of shoving it down like a pill? Maybe in some of these circumstances the resolution of a marriage or a family should be explored. Don't kid yourselves. Sometimes the pain does NOT go away and for good reason. Marriages and families were meant to be together, struggle and grow together and stay together through good and bad sickness and health rich and poor death do you part. ARE the kids just fine? How will they view marriage and relationships with spouses and relationships with their kids when they get older? For some of the more petty and ridiculous selfish and weak reasons people are breaking up families now a days. yes maybe you COULD have done more and should have. It's not always too late. If you can fix your marriage or put your family back together and you know you could with some honest humility, forgiveness and effort then no that guilt will not ever completely go away no matter how you "move on".

Our Response:
Many thanks for your interesting comments and thoughts.
SeparatedDads - 21-Jun-16 @ 1:01 PM
Is there ever a time that anyone says hey... maybe all this guilt and unsettled feelings is worth looking into instead of shoving it down like a pill?Maybe in some of these circumstances the resolution of a marriage or a family should be explored. Don't kid yourselves.Sometimes the pain does NOT go away and for good reason.Marriages and families were meant to be together, struggle and grow together and stay together through good and bad sickness and health rich and poor death do you part.ARE the kids just fine?How will they view marriage and relationships with spouses and relationships with their kids when they get older?For some of the more petty and ridiculous selfish and weak reasons people are breaking up families now a days... yes maybe you COULD have done more and should have.It's not always too late.If you can fix your marriage or put your family back together and you know you could with some honest humility, forgiveness and effort then no that guilt will not ever completely go away no matter how you "move on".
evenflow - 20-Jun-16 @ 8:53 PM
I have been a father for just under a year now. My baby's mum and i where together not even 12 weeks when we found out she was pregnant. We soon split up. When my son was born we tried again and lasted just three weeks. I work and have a good job, I now live alone. But l find myself on here as I'm struggling. I used to have him every weekend, I had support from my family and friends. When I'm alone and he's upset/crying I get angry,I get angry with her too. I never used to be angry but I can't control this i just snap. Iv asked the doctor for some Counciling,I'm still waiting for this. I seem to blame her for changing my life when I wasn't ready. She already has another child. I see my son because it's the right thing to do but I can't get my head around being a father people say the moment you hold your child it changes you. I'm not sure I felt that. I find myself pushing myself away from him which I don't want to do because I love him. But I can't live my life like this I'm up and down all the time.
K.T - 29-May-16 @ 11:35 AM
I have been a father for just under a year now. My baby's mum and i where together not even 12 weeks when we found out she was pregnant. We soon split up. When my son was born we tried again and lasted just three weeks. I work and have a good job, I now live alone. But l find myself on here as I'm struggling. I used to have him every weekend, I had support from my family and friends. When I'm alone and he's upset/crying I get angry,I get angry with her too. I never used to be angry but I can't control this i just snap. Iv asked the doctor for some Counciling,I'm still waiting for this. I seem to blame her for changing my life when I wasn't ready. She already has another child. I see my son because it's the right thing to do but I can't get my head around being a father people say the moment you hold your child it changes you. I'm not sure I felt that. I find myself pushing myself away from him which I don't want to do because I love him. But I can't live my life like this I'm up and down all the time.
K.T - 29-May-16 @ 11:34 AM
I have been a father for just under a year now. My baby's mum and i where together not even 12 weeks when we found out she was pregnant. We soon split up. When my son was born we tried again and lasted just three weeks. I work and have a good job, I now live alone. But l find myself on here as I'm struggling. I used to have him every weekend, I had support from my family and friends. When I'm alone and he's upset/crying I get angry,I get angry with her too. I never used to be angry but I can't control this i just snap. Iv asked the doctor for some Counciling,I'm still waiting for this. I seem to blame her for changing my life when I wasn't ready. She already has another child. I see my son because it's the right thing to do but I can't get my head around being a father people say the moment you hold your child it changes you. I'm not sure I felt that. I find myself pushing myself away from him which I don't want to do because I love him. But I can't live my life like this I'm up and down all the time.
K.T - 29-May-16 @ 11:25 AM
Feroz- Your Question:
I'm the father,I leave in Malawi in Africa. My son is 37 years old and he leaves in Leicester,married for 15 years with 3 children and now over 3 months is been separated by his wife reason is "simple argument" We are very far from my son and he is full of stress, depression and guilty, he beg her forgiveness and we too tired to clam her but she is refusing, my heart goes out to my grandchildren,my son is very hard working man and does all his duties as husband and father. My son is very desperate to go back to his family and his wife is refusing and now my grandchildren. What will happen? Who can save my son home?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. However, I'm afraid we cannot anticipate what will happen on a financial level, but the CAB link heremay be of help regarding the process and options your son and wife have if they do not decide to re-unite. Hopefully, your son and his ex will be able to have an amicable separation and the financial and childcare side of the matter can be decided between them.
SeparatedDads - 26-May-16 @ 10:41 AM
I'm the father,I leave in Malawi in Africa. My son is 37 years old and he leaves in Leicester,married for 15 years with 3 children and now over 3 months is been separated by his wife reason is "simple argument"We are very far from my son and he is full of stress, depression and guilty, he beg her forgiveness and we too tired to clam her but she is refusing, my heart goes out to my grandchildren,my son is very hard working man and does all his duties as husband and father. My son is very desperate to go back to his family and his wife is refusing and now my grandchildren. What will happen? Who can save my son home?
Feroz - 25-May-16 @ 11:05 AM
brett - Your Question:
My wife told about 7 weeks ago she wants a divorce that is tired of me an unloving husband I love her than life itself we have been married for 17 years, she hasn't had work for the last her only job to take of or son, now she wants to be a roommate not a wife and date other people I'am not really open to her dating any one while she lives here,I am afraid I could go off the deep and hurt her ,my feelings are running wild one minute I am ok the next I want to hurt her please help me

Our Response:
You really need to speak to someone about this as while in the heat of the moment you may feel anger, there will be consequences if you carry that anger out. Also, any amount of domestic violence could also have repercussions regarding access to your son later on should your wife go through with the separation. Therefore, you need to take stock and view the situation rationally. Family Lives offers a confidential and free helpline service. There is also some anger management advice via the link here and other lines and avenues that can offer advice. Keeping control of your anger by speaking to someone and seeking help and possibly counselling is the best thing you can do in this situation. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 20-Jan-16 @ 10:47 AM
My wife told about 7 weeks ago she wants a divorce that is tired of me an unloving husband I love her than life itself we have been married for 17 years, she hasn't had work for the last her only job to take of or son, now she wants to be a roommate not a wife and date other people I'am not really open to her dating any one while she lives here,I am afraid I could go off the deep and hurt her ,my feelings are running wild one minute I am ok the next I want to hurt her please help me
brett - 19-Jan-16 @ 10:28 AM
Hello! everyone out here,I am James Williamfrom Portland Oregon United state.It has been my desire to help people out with their problems no matter how little my contribution may be. As regards to the promise i made to BABA ARUOSA if he could help me get back my girlfriend,i'm using this means to fulfill my promise and also let everybody know there's solution to your problem no matter how difficult you think it is okay. I loved a girl for more than 2 years and she told me she was going to marry me.But she would change her mind and tell me she didn't love me anymore and was seeing a guy,which i found out.I begged her to accept me and also tried every means possible to make her know i can't live without her because i really love her but she would pay deaf ears to me. We were working in the same company and each time i see her,i wish all this weren't happening.This pain continued till a friend of mine led me to BABA ARUOSA whom he told me was very extremely powerful and has helped with a problem. Soon as i contacted him,i knew he was the exact answer to my solution because i felt his powers from his carefully selected words and calmness.I explain all that happened to me and he told me what to do.I did as i was instructed and never doubted him.To my greatest surprise what i felt was almost impossible within the twinkle of an eyes was over. She called me pleading for my forgiveness for how she has treated me and that she loves me so much and will never cheat on me again and will marry me.And from that moment till now all we've been experiencing is happiness in our relationship.We'll be getting married soon........lol I would advice anyone with problem to contact him via email : templeofsupernaturalcontact(at)gmail(dot)com for his help.
james2267 - 24-Dec-15 @ 12:51 AM
Alexis - Your Question:
My wife and I split 9 months ago after she said she was unhappy in the relationship. As it happened it ultimately turned out she'd met someone at work, whilst disappointed and confused at the time, I have let go of the anger I have at her. We have a four year old boy who is perfect, and we share his time 50:50. He's shown very little impact from the divorce, albeit seems to enjoy a bit more physical attention and cuddles now. He's still very happy and my ex and I have maintained a good relationship - we can all sit round a table for dinner etc. All our friends are appalled at my ex, my family and hers keep telling me I am doing an outstanding job with my boy, but I can't rid of the guilt. I continually feel I should have done better in my marriage and that I have let my son down, I can't give him the perfect life I promised him the first time I held him in my arms. I know it's irrational, but it won't go, am I the only person this makes sense to? I'm trying really hard, I feel like I don't deserve this, but the guilt won't go.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this, especially when you have the type of relationship with your ex and son that most people would envy. Unfortunately, as you know life is never perfect and rarely goes the way we want it to. Plus, feeling guilty about our children goes with the territory, not just with those who are separated or divorced, but also those who are in secure and loving relationships. There is always something we blame ourselves for, or think we could have done better. It sounds like your son is having the best of both worlds which is two loving families and if he continues to receive such love and affection then you are giving him the start in life that we all wish for our children. If you still feel guilt, then you may wish to look into having some counselling. However, the fact you say he has shown little impact from the divorce means between you and your ex, you are definitely doing something, if not everything right.
SeparatedDads - 7-Dec-15 @ 11:58 AM
My wife and I split 9 months ago after she said she was unhappy in the relationship. As it happened it ultimately turned out she'd met someone at work, whilst disappointed and confused at the time, I have let go of the anger I have at her. We have a four year old boy who is perfect, and we share his time 50:50. He's shown very little impact from the divorce, albeit seems to enjoy a bit more physical attention and cuddles now. He's still very happy and my ex and I have maintained a good relationship - we can all sit round a table for dinner etc. All our friends are appalled at my ex, my family and hers keep telling me I am doing an outstanding job with my boy, but I can't rid of the guilt. I continually feel I should have done better in my marriage and that I have let my son down, I can't give him the perfect life I promised him the first time I held him in my arms. I know it's irrational, but it won't go, am I the only person this makes sense to? I'm trying really hard, I feel like I don't deserve this, but the guilt won't go.
Alexis - 4-Dec-15 @ 9:21 PM
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