After the Initial Court Order

Our three-part guide to 'Going to Court' covered all the issues you might experience throughout the court process. Many people experience issues after a court order has been made - and this guide "After the Initial Court Order" is aimed at helping you through difficulties following a court ruling.

Breaches of Court Orders

It is always important to keep a record of any breaches of a court order, however minor. Whilst it may not seem important at the time that a payment was a couple of days late or a couple of pounds short, these minor breaches all add up. A series of minor breaches on top of a more major breach of an order (such as a payment missed altogether) may be the evidence that makes a difference between a judge just giving your ex partner 'a telling off' and be told not to breach the order again, and the judge altering the order (to reduce contact or make them pay a month in advance).

You can keep a record however you like really, as long as you keep it safe. Below are a couple of popular choices:

• Quick typed word document saved in a separate file on your computer
• A small pocket diary kept just for the purposes of recording breaches

Your diary entries / notes don't have to be long.

For Example: 21/08/12 - Mark dropped Katy off at 8pm as agreed. He said she had been out with her friends at the shops all afternoon and had not had tea.

It is also worth if anything is agreed (in person or over the phone) to confirm this in writing (email is fine) with your ex partner. They do not have to reply, but they have then had the option to object if this was not their recollection of the situation.

Police Involvement in Court Order Breaches

The police generally won't get involved in breaches of court orders as it is a matter for the court to deal with. Even if your ex partner keeps your children for an extra couple of nights than they are meant to, this is not a matter for the police as the children are safe with someone who has parental responsibility. (Also consider whether you would want to upset your children by having the police come into the house and drag them away from your partner.)

If your ex partner repeatedly or seriously breaches the court order, you can apply to the courts to enforce the order. All contact orders after 2008 contain a warning about what could happen if an order is breached. If your order is breached, you need to ensure that you have an attached warning notice. You can then apply for enforcement of your order. The police will then only become involved if there are repeated serious breaches and the court punishes your ex partner via community service (or, in rare cases, imprisonment).

The police will not immediately get involved in enforcing a court order relating to children if they are with someone with parental responsibility, even if you make allegations of abuse. The correct procedure should you wish to make allegations of abuse is to make an emergency (same day) application to the courts. The police may then be used to enforce that court order, accompanying a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer to remove children from a party's care.

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

• Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object.
• Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead.
• If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again.

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

Parental Alienation

In some cases the child may state that they do not want to have any contact with the non resident parent, this is sometimes due to the fact that the resident parent has alienated the child from the other parent. This is known by some as parental alienation, this is a controversial pathological ailment most commonly claimed during divorce or separation of parents. Symptoms of parental alienation are expressed as unjustified extreme hatred for one parent.

Parental alienation remains a controversial condition in both the legal and medical professions, as similar symptoms can easily be brought on by negative comments by the other parent, or a child blaming one party (particularly if they were unfaithful) for the relationship breaking down.

Proving it in Court

Generally legal advice would always be not to plead parental alienation in court. Judges like evidence based submissions, so if you are claiming a medical (psychological) condition, the judge will want to see a medical report to prove this. This is not the sort of report a regular GP would be able to give, so would be expensive to obtain, and many medical professionals (much like with conditions such as ME) don't recognise it as a "real" medical problem.

The best way to effectively plead parental alienation would be to produce evidence in court of your child's behaviour being unsubstantiated or unreasonable. You essentially want the judge to give the wishes of your child (one item on the welfare checklist) little weight. You are far more likely to achieve this by demonstrating how good a parent you are and your closeness with your child before the separation to show how their sudden hatred is irrational. Often mention of "parental alienation syndrome", a condition proposed by controversial American psychiatrist Richard Gardner, will damage an otherwise valid point.

Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements

Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.

If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:

• Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object
• Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead
• If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again

Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.

Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.

You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)

Sample Letters

We've produced 10 sample letters to help you communicate with your ex and with the various authorities to help you achieve a positive outcome with any issues relating to your children. You find them here:

After court letters part one.

After court letters, part two.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Court Statement Writer lets you draft a court statement for your hearing. Takes 5 minutes. Try it now →