Here is part 3 of our Guide to Court. This part of the guide explains: how to handle false allegations and perjury; dealing with cafcass and representing yourself in court. There are also three sample letters for you to use as templates. You can download the entire guide (see below) or you can read it here it on the site.
Perjury is committed where a person is proven to have lied in court. The elements necessary for a conviction of perjury are:
Deliberate lie
Told whilst on oath
Proven to be a lie
Whilst lying on oath is probably most common in divorce proceedings where emotions are often running high, these are the cases in which it can be the most difficult to prove, as it is essentially one person's word against the other.
Where perjury is proved, the penalties can be high and even include short prison sentences. However those committing perjury, in divorce proceedings particularly, are not always prosecuted due to the difficulty in proving lies.
How to deal with perjury during a trial
There are no particular rules on how to deal with a witness who you know has just lied under oath. However there is a "trick" that most barristers use:
Check what the witness has just said with them
Ask for more specific details about what they have just said (allowing them to dig themselves into a deeper hole)
Point out the conflicting witness statement or evidence that proves they are lying
Directly point out one must be incorrect and ask which
Suggest to witness that they are now deliberately misleading the court (don't be surprised if they deny or don't answer; you're point has been made to the court)
For Example:
Sue says to court that John never helped out with the children or around the house.
John's barrister: You said that John never helped out with the children or around the house isn't that correct? Sue: Yes Barrister: So you had to pick up the children every day from school isn't that right? Sue: Yes Barrister: You cooked tea for the children every night didn't you? Sue: Yes (etc. - don't overdo the confirmation questions - 3 or 4 will do) Barrister: Can you look at this statement please. What is this document? Sue: My witness statement Barrister: This statement was made by you wasn't it? Sue: Yes Barrister: That's your signature on the last page isn't it? Sue: Yes Barrister: Please can you read the last paragraph to the court Sue: "I confirm that this statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief" Barrister: So everything you have written in this statement is true? Sue: Yes Barrister: Please read the first line of the fifth paragraph Sue: "I usually finished work at 6:30pm and didn't get home until 8pm on the bus as John wouldn't let me have the car." Barrister: If you didn't get home until 8pm, how did you always pick the children up from school and cook their tea when they finish school at 3pm? Sue: (Her response is really irrelevant) Barrister: I suggest Mrs Smith that you are in fact deliberately trying to mislead the court today aren't you? Sue: (Again her response is irrelevant - you have shown the court that she has lied and discredited her whole evidence)
The general rule to allow them to say enough that they can't say it was a simple misunderstanding of the question. (A misunderstanding won't discredit the rest of their evidence.) This technique is colloquially called "give them enough rope to hang themselves".
Dealing with Cafcass
Cafcass are the Child And Family Court Advisory and Support Service. They are experienced in dealing with matters involving children, from care proceedings to residence disputes.
You will come across Cafcass if you apply to the court for any order involving your children. Essentially a Cafcass officer will report to the court advising them on what is best for the children (which may not necessarily be the position you are asking the court to impose).
Usually Cafcass will want to meet with you to discuss the application made. It will always be best for you to cooperate with Cafcass and arrange a meeting. Remember that the court will very rarely pass a ruling on an application that is against the recommendations of the Cafcass officer. The meeting is therefore your chance to openly explain your side of the matter to the Cafcass officer and discuss possible alternative arrangements and the impact these would have on you.
Tips for your meeting / discussions with Cafcass
Be honest with the officer (they are highly experienced and trained to spot lies or inconsistencies)
Be open and answer questions fully (they are not asking about your day-to-day activities to judge you but to get a fuller picture of your family life. Therefore if you go clubbing once a week while your mother babysits the children, say so)
Don't be afraid to disagree with the officer (if they suggest a solution which you don't think would work, such as would involve any unreasonable amount of travelling on your part, explain this to them - It may mean they don't suggest this as an agreeable solution to the court)
Don't be embarrassed (the officer will have heard every possible scenario before and I can assure you that there will always be situations worse than yours!)
Representing yourself in court
On TV you often see a dark wooden courtroom with a judge sitting high up behind a bench, lots of barristers all wearing black gowns and wigs, someone at the back behind a glass screen, witnesses giving evidence from their special wooden box, and journalists hurriedly writing down every word said.
This is a criminal court - NOT family court.
Family court is much more informal. There will still be a judge sitting at the front behind a bench, but no one wearing wigs and gowns and there are rarely any media present.
Media and the family court
Family court used to conduct all its work in private. However this led to a lack of public confidence in the court system and so family court proceedings are now open to the public. There are lots of restrictions on journalists in these cases though. For example they are not allowed to publish any details that would identify any child involved in court proceedings. Some proceedings such as those involving domestic abuse are often still held in private.
Consider however, the public interest in knowing your family's contact or residence arrangements for your children. A good test is whether a stranger on the next street would care about what your arrangements are. No? Then it is unlikely that a newspaper will pay a journalist to report on your particular case. (Contrary to common belief even many murder cases go unreported in the media as there are just too many cases and unless you're famous or the case involves something horrific such as extremely serious child abuse or mass murder, often there is no point in publishing it as it doesn't sell papers.)
Partial representation
When in court, you will have to stand up and tell the judge your case. You will also have to answer any questions about your case from both the other side and the judge. The judge will stop your ex-partner interrupting you, but can't stop them pulling faces etc which can be off-putting.
If you are happy to do everything yourself but feel a bit anxious about this part, you can opt to just instruct counsel (a solicitor advocate or barrister) to represent you for the final hearing. This will severally reduce your costs but may relieve some of the worry for you.
Free help and advice
There are ways to get help with your case without paying for it however so you're not on your own!
You can get legal advice and help preparing your case (including the points you want to say in court) at your local Citizen's Advice Bureau. They sometimes have walk-in clinics but often allow you to make appointments to discuss matters too. You will still have to speak for yourself in court, but if what you say is pre-planned, it isn't as hard.
You may also be able to get representation in court via Legal Aid if you have a low income and so can't afford to hire a lawyer privately. This may also exempt you from paying court fees to lodge your case.
Letter Template: Requesting a character reference
[YOUR ADDRESS] [DATE]
Dear [name],
I am writing to ask you to give me a character reference.
I am going to the family courts in [PLACE]. This is in relation to a [contact / residence / parental responsibility] application. This character reference may be considered by the court to help my case.
Below are some tips which may help you in writing the reference.
Useful tips for what referees should include in your reference:
Address to the judge directly (if known) or to the relevant court
State how you know the person you are writing the reference for and how long you have known them
Any positive attributes you can attest to
Any activities of the person you wish to draw to the court's attention
The likely effect on the person of the order being or not being granted
Only state the truth (it is an offence to mislead the court and will likely damage the person's case)
Sign and date your reference
If possible put the reference on letter-headed paper
Please return the reference to me at the above address so that I can forward it with the relevant papers to the court.
Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me in this matter.
Yours sincerely,
[SIGNATURE][YOUR NAME]
Letter Template: Cover letter to send with your court statement and court forms
[YOUR ADDRESS] [DATE]
Dear Sirs,
Please find enclosed my court statement and forms in relation to my application for [contact order / residence order etc].
Please can you confirm receipt of these forms via post (to the above address) or email (to [email]).
Yours faithfully,
[SIGNATURE]
[YOUR NAME]
Template letter: Representing yourself
[YOUR ADDRESS] [DATE]
Dear Sirs,
(Re: Case Number [CASE NUMBER])
Please note for your files that I will be representing myself as a litigant in person in the above case.
I propose to bring with me [NAME] as my supporter and [NAME] as witness.
If you have any objections to me representing myself, please notify me within the next three days.
Yours faithfully,
[SIGNATURE]
[YOUR NAME]
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More information
If, after using our information, you have successfully negotiated the court process and managed to secure a court order enabling some kind of access, contact or residency order, congratulations! If you are finding that the court order is not being adhered to, then you may want to take a look at our guide: After the Initial Court Order.
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I see Curtis booth has made enemies! God forbid if I see the 4 eyed freak about
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cindybyrd - 21-Dec-22 @ 8:03 AM
hi all i went such a thing! and havent never lived with my ex wife and split months after wedding, seperated 11 years, had my daughter live with me no problems, hntill out the blue received devorce proceddings, non molestation order, section 8 prohibited steps order, and appeared in all courts over the south east, when my iphone and facebook,googlemail, and messages kept getting deleted, i started to document the hacking with a solicitor, human rights of family life, privacy acts, corresspondance artical, and freedom of speech, interception of telecommunications act, no warrent or directions, miss use of data act, gdpr act breach, client solicitor breaches were all documented!! i got arreasred by a police force and taken 37 miles from where i live, held on charges of rape! domestic violence, child abuse?! bearing in mind i havent had any contact with my 3 youngest children in years dissappeared i thought,
well after two years of fighting in 3 tiers of court, and after thousands of pounds,
malious falsehoods,
dafamation
slander
human rights breaches
illegal detainment
discloseure by a queens bench barrister who saw me in a crown court with head in hands praying, he said hey u ok? answer was if i told ya? only god will listen, try me he said and i showed everything!!!!! well moral is crown court ordered full disclosure!
police had intercepted my phone no warrent
had intercepted client solicitor communications,
court orders of child cases deleted by police
appeals had negative impact in lower courts
i was allowed to speak 6mins37 seconds out of 11 joint hearings!!!! untill queens bench barrister spoke on my behalf!!!!
thats the true course of our english law!! i stillhavent even been awarded costs
so fathers if think equality act 20010 exists it doesnt, they get free legal aid, free solicitors, free devorce, can claim half your property, ya car and even the f#%^ing dog! then claim mental health of break down after 11 years apparently! so they dont go prison for perjury act 1911 ! well peeps supreme court next and sue for independent tribunal justice is probley needed, and yep i sell the house out of principle and denote to charity just out of justice knowing " a good fight for rights"
scottyb2377 - 16-Dec-22 @ 1:25 PM
Hi Anyone going through similar my wife soon to be ex was controlling situation with my 5 kids for 4 months supervised visits blocked phones alienated the older kids I tried MIAM mediation she refused back in April also the last time I spent time & had face time with the kids because i applied for Court no other option by the way as she stopped all contact as prior I was having supervised & phone contact, I was on the verge of seeing them on my own & I have a email from the wife saying this, But her mother caused a issue not the first time in the 4 months she had interfered, this caused the direction of court but my point being my wife was on the verge of coming around to me being on my own with the kids, But now she has made allegations of domestic abuse & something about my mental health & treatment, I have found out my 11 yr olds twins have told the School they don't want to see me, strange as I have not had any contact with the kids since before she sent the email? & all the kids prior that email had asked their Mum if the could see me on their own so seems strange the twins have changed their minds & my wife was coming around to the idea then because i take it to Court she starts the dirty tricks allegations? Do you think a District Judge will see through her game?
Gazza - 29-Jun-21 @ 4:04 PM
Hi Anyone going through similar my wife soon to be ex was controlling situation with my 5 kids for 4 months supervised visits blocked phones alienated the older kids I tried MIAM mediation she refused back in April also the last time I spent time & had face time with the kids because i applied for Court no other option by the way as she stopped all contact as prior I was having supervised & phone contact, I was on the verge of seeing them on my own & I have a email from the wife saying this, But her mother caused a issue not the first time in the 4 months she had interfered, this caused the direction of court but my point being my wife was on the verge of coming around to me being on my own with the kids, But now she has made allegations of domestic abuse & something about my mental health & treatment, I have found out my 11 yr olds twins have told the School they don't want to see me, strange as I have not had any contact with the kids since before she sent the email? & all the kids prior that email had asked their Mum if the could see me on their own so seems strange the twins have changed their minds & my wife was coming around to the idea then because i take it to Court she starts the dirty tricks allegations? Do you think a District Judge will see through her game?
Gazza - 29-Jun-21 @ 4:03 PM
hi.1st cafcass hearing is on Tuesday. My son is trying to get parental responsibility for his son.He was born last November and non of us has seen him.
His ex has claimed he is a drugs dealer.Totally false.
Will she have to prove false allegations?
My son has stuck to the truth throughout. He only wants contact with his baby boy
murdo - 16-May-21 @ 5:48 PM
Hi
I had a C79 application hearing against mother other week, and gave a 2nd amendment of 5 further breaches going into court.
I was left in shock of how representing yourself due to costs, even as a good father to your children , by remote hearing, the judge come on, said ge needed to adjourn case as defendent mother wasnt represented today as she didnt receive application papers and her solicitor couldnt make it, she told judge she chased it up and incorrect address was given for herself, it was a lie , address on C79 application on checking was correct, then week before I had returned kids after school hols 9 days and nights with myself, mum agreed they had a good time,
the judge then established ongoing access until her upcoming c100 hearing asking for amendments, to limit access further based on false allegations, where evidence in my c79 applications proves to be false, he actually quoted for her, intentions clearly send to him ahead my C79 application hearing, stating all the intentions and false allegations mothers making in her upcoming hearing, and used this as s bias yo set on going access contact for myself until her hearing!which ended up offering me 4 hours daytime conta t when you take drive time out of the six hours to and from my home, I had to decline this, as stating this would devastate kids, who dont like returning to mum as it is and wasnt prepared after just having them finally as per contact order, for a long period previously too to destroy particularly my oldest mentally and emotionally by accepting this contact it wasnt in their best interests and goes against current court order and the basis the judge led the defendent on was from evidence and allegations she is making in another upcoming hearing.Barely allowing me to speak but allowed mother to rattle of so many lies,these poor children they have have conta t constantly breached by mother since last year when made, now got same judge who made order, allowing mother to hijack the hearing I had waited 4 months to be heard to show how malicious shes been and affecting the boys mental and emotional health so badly mine too preventing us having the loving relationship we have together, which was supposed to be adjourned, to use the court hearing to put her own upcoming case forward in it, clearly led by the judge reciting for her what her solicitor had sent yo him pre hearing,
So only have phone contact now until then.
This, having clearly a biased hearing, the children left in huge emotional turmoil, having had their dad ripped away from them again, it's been 7 times since last year shes done it yo them, al, unfounded allegations, I finally defend myself by self representation with family help as I'm dyslexic, to ensure the boys rights and needs are met in their best interests and I'm trampled all over in a hearing that wasnt used for purpose and a judge clearly led by her solicitor who reckoned had to adjourn cae as her client wasnt represented.
Lost faith in
Craigo52 - 17-Apr-21 @ 7:43 AM
I would like to thank the individual/s who run this website. You make a real difference!
Thank you for taking the time to assist those who’s only resource may be you.
Equality - 4-Feb-21 @ 12:47 AM
Has anyone lost their children/ baby at the hands of Croydon family courts. Socicial workers and cafcass workers?? from Sutton , Merton, kingston, Richmond, Bromley, wandsworth, have any of these social workers been from Zimbabwe, Ghana, Nigeria, South Africa, kenya.
Corruption investiga - 2-Jan-21 @ 8:42 AM
Katie stay with the truth, dont lie for someone else
Corruption investiga - 2-Jan-21 @ 8:32 AM
My ex wife solicitor Curtis booth of Cumbria family law centre Carlisle, lied about me to the court , he told the court I had sent three messages threatening to remove my son from school, I only sent one and it said. "Dear mr Booth , can you please inform your client I will be picking ......from after school club on friday and will return him on saturday, thank you" on reviving this he started a no access order.After he read it out to the court they said Mr Booth how can you possibly perceive that has a threat, they then asked him to read the other two messages out which I know I never sent, he then went on to read out a imaginary message. The court asked him to read the third message and his reply was "I cant find it". What can I do about this man's lies. Avoid this firm like the plague. They have drove and my ex wife further apart. I gave a negative review about them on google and they got my ex to right a review to undermine my review and they started to recive positive reviews so I googled one of the reviewers names and she is a solicitor at this firm. What kind of dodgy outfit is this.
Mr Angry - 28-Oct-20 @ 5:43 PM
I have recently had a case with my brother for Deputyship Order for an elderly relative but the Social Worker involved with my aunt has totally fabricated information to the courts but was backed up by my proof showing her lies. Where do I now stand at having her prosecuted for liable, malice, slander and deformation which has caused me severe distress and heartache etc?
Isla - 5-Oct-20 @ 9:55 PM
My x is taking me to court for full custody of our son he got took to court by his father with a 2 year restraing order against him so my grandparents whom I lived with and my son took him in but most of the time he was at my grandparents he was abusive and a bully i left and went to my mum's it happened quiet alot he then moved out got his own flat and has applied to the courts for my son to live with him saying i live at my mum's i moved back when he left i thought I could not look after my child as he commented on everything I did when he had gone my relationship with my son is great ive got my confidence back and a really good mam but he is saying i live at my mum's still also ive got learning difficultys i have been assessed but he has its just lies ive told my ex he can have him anytime but not over nite as i think he would be at risk as he sometimes doesnt wake and has nearly hurt my son when he has nightmares not remembering but he said he wants full custody
Chels - 26-Sep-20 @ 7:08 PM
I have my first court hearing next month I would like too know one I need too send me opening statement too the court but do I also need too send it too my exs solicitor.
Many thanks
Pinhead - 11-Jun-20 @ 9:44 AM
I have a court order in place where my children live with me due to their mother's emotional and mental abuse. When this was decided by the court and social services she appealed and it was rejected due to the evidence of abuse. She then cut all contact with them for 3 months. She was ruled to only be allowed supervised contact in a contact centre and supervised phone calls which were only permitted by myself and social services after discussion, she was again abusing the children during these calls so social services and myself decided in the best interest of the children they should be stopped. She has now put into court for a child arrangement order which has been given a date. Is there any way to avoid this going back to court and putting the children through all that again. Social services are aghast at this and I feel the court has not shown due diligence and checking the case records previous to setting a date for hearing. What can I do?
Chris - 8-Jun-20 @ 3:10 PM
I need help & tips relating to repping myself in a final hearing.Cafcass has messed me around so much I’ve had to adjourn the case twice due to them not submitting a full S7 report, they cost me £1809 for a barrister which was listed for a final hearing only for them not to show up and get the case adjourned. I need tips to get the best result as I’m now skint. From what I’ve seen so far it’s more about getting magistrates on side n kidding arse but I’d love to hear from anyone that’s repped themselves in court.
Mike - 24-Jan-20 @ 11:17 PM
I have been in court battle since January 2018. My ex husband the step father of my son was abusing us he stole all our money we suffered tremendously including almost drowning me. And cafcass recommended for him to have PR ever since then he began to manipulate my son to live with him. He is an alcoholic confirm by lab report all of that cafcass still transferred my son to live with him in January 2019. Since then I have not spoken to or see my son. He has given me no contact with my son what so ever and keep saying the child doesnt want to see me. The child has not seen any member of my family also since then. This is a black child am black and the step father is white
I feel so lost I cry a lot I pray someone will hear my cry.
Pakpak - 16-Oct-19 @ 1:22 AM
I have been blamed over & over again of
turning my children against there mother
I have not done any of what the cafcass & social workers are saying
they first said it was me & my mother
the boys mother was a flight risk & thus was the only issue
but since then the so called profectionals have turned it in to a custerdy battle!
I never had a problem if the boys stay with her or my self
But after a section 37 report of the social services
& I getting threats of them putting my children in to care
the boys went back to stay with there mam
since then there mam has hit the boys left bruises & Mark's on there skin
police reports & everg thing still waiting if she is getting charged
But social services in the profectionals statement think I have got the boys to run away over 5miles turned up with marks off a cactus plant & bruses
& they think I am now a father of a unknowing child
What is wrong with these people
please some one help or at least help my boys please
col - 1-Oct-19 @ 11:15 PM
@concernednanny.after reading your post i see a lot off similarities with your story to my own story but the[ best advice you told your son] was get a [solicitor }.i didn't when my daughter was 5 and i myself have had orders on me witch makes it [extremely] hard then .but my daughter is grown up now big teenager with her own life[ the gods truth is she wouldn't even remember me]. that is how long its been years fly bye .but i think she would have turned out alright .so yeah good luck to your son bye the sounds off it he's going to need it i know from experience i have walked in he's shoes many years ago .tell him stay calm and let the solicitors work it out its the only way good luck .
chriso - 17-Jun-19 @ 11:45 PM
My son was in a relationship with his ex for a coupe of years, resulting in my grandaughter who is now 5. They have been separated for 3 years. 2 years ago, she stopped my son from seeing his daughter and they had a huge fall out, resulting in my son going to the property and it all getting a bit heated. She blew things out of proportion and my son got arrested and ended up having a restraining order on him for 12 months, which he abided by. During that time, it became apparent that the mother was in an unsafe relationship and the children were put on an child protection plan. My son was then having his daughter for 3-4 nights a week during the last 12 - 18 months. The children are now off the plan. My son recently had cause to believe that someone with a violent past - being imprisoned twice for violence - was visiting the family home. My son went to speak to the mother and it all kicked off again - she recorded him being threatening and abusive. I have heard this and to be honest, he did get very angry but no physical violence was used.My grandaughter was not present at the time. She has now stopped my son from seeing his daughter again. He has now been served with a non-molestation order which has quite a few statements in it which are not true. I know that this time, she is trying everything she can to keep my son out of his daughters life. He is a good Dad and Him and my grandaughter love each other very much. I have advised him to go to the solicitor. Can any one help me with what happens now? All the way through this, I have been allowed to retain contact with my grandaughter and am allowed to continue this. Thanks
Concerned Nanny - 17-Jun-19 @ 11:21 AM
My ex claimed I abused her to obtain UK visa after an 18month marriage. She has given 3 different statements, one saying I threw her out the house, others saying me and my family would beat her up most days and treat her like a slave.
Only constant thing in all 3 statements is that she said she was thrown out, in the family court when I mentioned the safety of my mother as my ex had ran off with my keys, she later on the spot changed her story saying she took the house keys...you don't get thrown out the house and then given houses keys, passport and suitcase.
Unfortunately in the family court my solicitor failed to write up any evidence and requested and comeback date which was denied - I was furious at my solicitor and had to accept, but denied the charges.
I have screen shots/text of 18/24 claims she made on her statement. One major claim was that I sent death threat to her, but because she lost her phone she lost the email. Any email I send to anyone gets tracked/ I get notification. She accessed 2 emails whilst IN the court waiting area, I also have record of her reading my 4-5 emails I sent almost 100 times ( case was I harassed her)she also later resigned the amended statement agreeing to the changes of me allowing access to a part of town.
The Home Office has allowed her to stay, but I wish to represent myself in court/high court. If I can get a criminal record put on her, she cannot stay permanently, whereas for now she can stay until the end of 2019.
Can I represent myself on this claim? I am not entitled to legal aid, but I cannot afford lawyers etc
DD - 22-Mar-19 @ 9:28 PM
My ex claimed I abused her to obtain UK visa after an 18month marriage. She has given 3 different statements, one saying I threw her out the house, others saying me and my family would beat her up most days and treat her like a slave.
Only constant thing in all 3 statements is that she said she was thrown out, in the family court when I mentioned the safety of my mother as my ex had ran off with my keys, she later on the spot changed her story saying she took the house keys...you don't get thrown out the house and then given houses keys, passport and suitcase.
Unfortunately in the family court my solicitor failed to write up any evidence and requested and comeback date which was denied - I was furious at my solicitor and had to accept, but denied the charges.
I have screen shots/text of 18/24 claims she made on her statement. One major claim was that I sent death threat to her, but because she lost her phone she lost the email. Any email I send to anyone gets tracked/ I get notification. She accessed 2 emails whilst IN the court waiting area, I also have record of her reading my 4-5 emails I sent almost 100 times ( case was I harassed her)she also later resigned the amended statement agreeing to the changes of me allowing access to a part of town.
The Home Office has allowed her to stay, but I wish to represent myself in court/high court. If I can get a criminal record put on her, she cannot stay permanently, whereas for now she can stay until the end of 2019.
Can I represent myself on this claim? I am not entitled to legal aid, but I cannot afford lawyers etc
DD - 22-Mar-19 @ 8:13 PM
What should you do if a Cafcass officer has put a claim in her report about a previous report which is clearly and absolutely untrue? The report is available and not only is it not a safeguarding check on the individual in question, it barely refers to them. I am going to report this to the police but I get the impression that they will wriggle to avoid doing anything. (The officer has gone to considerable lengths to avoid any safeguarding on this person.)
AlWith2Kids - 16-Mar-19 @ 7:00 PM
My ex lies about me trying to stopseeingourI havetext to prove it cafcass andcourtall believesayingI'm not trusted with money my bank details satin the7 year's of our son life he's paid to getof pay maintenance for our sonhe's very angry but he goes awayon holiday andleave here out he say i he nevercall son apart fromhes birthday andChristmas he abusive tomensure and thekidsx
Helen - 29-Jan-19 @ 4:29 PM
My husband has been accused of abusing our granddaughter, he was arrested and bailed. But 4 days later the police after investigating said there was no evidence of abuse so NFA. That was over two years ago. Our grandchild has never said anything to anyone but the mother, my sons ex. We have not been able to see our granddaughter in a private dwelling for over two years. My son had been estranged from me, his dad, his sister and his niece and nephew for 3 years before the allegation. His ex tried to stop him from bringing the children, she has another daughter who is not my sons, but who he loved like his own, to see us. So when the allegation was made we had only seen the girls 6 times. On each of these occasions we were all together, my husband had not been left alone with either of the girls for one second, not for any other reason than we were so happy to have our son back that we spent all our time together. She has lied on several occasions but the court don’t seem to want to know. My husband is a broken man and it is now breaking our family to bits. My husband sees our other 2 grandchildren whenever he wants even picking them up from school and they are of similar age to our sons daughter. Please can someone give us advice, I am on the verge of a breakdown. My husband is a good man and doesn’t deserve this.
Chez - 25-Dec-18 @ 10:14 PM
My husband has been in and out of court since 2010. He's meant to have 3 kids, 2 live with us, they moved in, in 2014 because their mother was abusing them. Now, since 2010 the kids mother has all 3 are his, she has even told the courts this. My husband hasn't seen his youngest since 2016, tonight she informed my husband (in a very mocking tone, almost gleefully) that his youngest isn't his. I've got to be honest, I personally think she has known the whole time. Where does my husband stand, she's lied to the courts, lied to cafass, and social services (who have investigated her 27 times in 6 years). There is a court order for the 2 children( one is 14and suffers from ptsd the other is 11and suffers from attachment disorder because of the abuse @ their mothers house)to have contact with their younger sibling and their maternal grandmother but now they know their grandmother knew they don't want to go. Where do we stand with everything
Emma - 27-Nov-18 @ 9:42 PM
Hi
What could i do if i have evidence of my ex lying to leave the country with my daughter. I lost my daughter despite a CAFFCASS report in my favour advising the judge not to let my ex live abroad permanently. Now i have not seen my daughter for more than 12 months as the mother is not following what the agreement saya . She is now instead trying to change history in Spain trying to modify the order completely . I have evidence now that she lie to the court in the Uk.
Thanks
Jzom - 19-Nov-18 @ 7:39 PM
@etchathon.you read my mind you hit the nail on the head .
Tellford springs - 13-Nov-18 @ 9:12 PM
Hello everyone , just want to know if I go in to the court an say look I just want to see my child it's Blantently obvious me an the ex partner have no eye contact , but my concern is to see my child . I am not here to bicker I am here to arrange to see my daughter ,
Then when she starts saying stuff about me an I get questioned I'lljust my concerns are my daughter an that is all I will say throughout her speak or her solicitor speaking , because at the end of the day my it's true , she tried to kill me in the car with the baby inside but I won't bring that up in court there is no need to them days are done my concerns are my daughter oh an your honour I would like to take a D&N test please but would like the mother to take one please just for safe guarding , thank you. Let me know what you think ?
Etchathon - 13-Nov-18 @ 7:37 PM
Dizzy - Your Question:
My daughter has just lost custody of her son. Her ex lied and the cafcass officer was awful. My daughter was treated unfairly and despite character references and plenty of evidence, cafcass still favoured her ex. Now, we showed proof of emotional maltreatment, as did the school, there are past contact reports that say her ex is emotionaly detached from child, he has said everything his son said is a lie and cafcass have put the chd in his Care. This was done with immediate effect and my daughter has one and a half hours to say goodbye. We had no fact finding hearing which wouldhave proved every single lie, cafcass changed my daughters statement and the schools and disregarded my grandsons wishes. My daughter was told she had to give copies of her evidence to her ex but she hadn't even seen his and still hasn't. There are past reports that say my grandson is safe and loved in his mothers care so why has this done and why are liars never held accountable in family court. The real fishy thing is,my daughter was told cafcass report would be given to both parties, at the same time which should've been on the Friday. Then we got an email saying that they would give the report on Monday morning. Daughter received hers via email at 9.30am. They were in court for 10.00am. Now her ex had a 4hr drive to get to court but when he arrived, he had a statement already prepared!!! He must be very clever to be able to write and print with one hand whilst driving!! How is this possible and why are you permitted to lie in court. We now have to go through appeal. Would love some advice please.
Our Response:
Unfortunately, we cannot give personal/individual advice. It is very rare that a court will decide to take a child from one parent and hand the child over to another unless there is very good reason. You would need to seek legal advice about appealing the decision.
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