Home > Legal > Contact Orders: the Process

Contact Orders: the Process

By: Elizabeth Mugan BA/BSc, PGDipLaw, BVC, CIArb - Updated: 7 Dec 2017 |
 
Contact Order Contact Parents Child

As a devoted father, you will want to maintain a close relationship with your children. Hopefully, your relationship will remain amicable with the mother of your children. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and you may find that you have to fight to see your children or alternatively, if the children live with you, then their mother may wish for contact.

There are a number of types of arrangements which can work for different families. The courts can make several orders under the Children Act 1989 in order to facilitate those arrangements where necessary.

The Courts are primarily concerned with the welfare of the child or children above everything else. Under section 8 of the Children Act, the Court can make a contact order.

A contact order specifies how often the parent who does not live with the child should see the child or children and the terms of that contact.

The Process

If you wish to apply for a contact order, the actual process differs according to your locality. You will need to make an application to either the County Court, the High Court or the Family Proceedings Court. A copy of the application is then served on the Respondent, who is commonly the other parent.

CAFCASS Officer

You will then be required to attend a hearing. At that hearing or shortly before, both parents are usually invited to attend a relatively brief meeting with a Children and Families Court Advisory Service officer (also known as a CAFCASS Officer). A CAFCASS Officer is someone who is experienced in dealing with conflicts regarding children. At this meeting, the Officer listens to both parties and sees if there are any areas of agreement.

First Hearing

During the first hearing, the Judge (usually a District Judge) will ask the CAFCASS Officer for advice (if they are present) and will identify the areas of agreement and also any areas in dispute such as visitation rights etc. This hearing is usually short in length and in most instances the parents may not even speak with the Judge.

Where no agreement is reached, the Judge may ask for a detailed report to be drafted by the CAFCASS Officer. This can take anything from three to four months and therefore, you may wish to request that the Court grants some contact in the interim period.

What Will the Report Detail?

The CAFCASS Officer will interview and possibly observe a number of things before reporting back to the Court. They will want to speak with both parents, possibly the school and may want to speak with family members. They may also wish to observe contact between parent and child in some cases. Depending on the age of the child, an Officer will speak to them alone to understand their wishes and feelings. The report is not “secret” and both parents get to see a copy before it goes in front of the Judge.

After this stage, there will be a further short hearing. A court will not always make an order. Most cases end at this point once both parents have reviewed the recommendations of the CAFCASS Officer and they decide to try the recommended contact arrangements.

What Are the Considerations?

When reviewing applications, the Court, Judge and CAFCASS Officer will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children’s welfare. These are:

  • What is deemed to be best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding;
  • How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children;
  • Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered;
  • The likely affect of a change of circumstances on the child;
  • The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant; and
  • The child's emotional, physical and educational needs.

Final Hearing

Only if a parent does not agree to the recommendations, will a final hearing take place. In these circumstances, the Court hears evidence from the parents and any witnesses as necessary, before finally making a Contact Order.

It is important to remember that although this process may seem rather arduous and lengthy, the end result will be worth it. The most important consideration for the Court is what is best for the child. If you are a good father and want the best for your child or children, then you will be able to have contact with them in the end. Good luck and if you are fortunate enough to get the contact you need, check out our feature on coping between contact periods.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
liverpool- Your Question:
Hi. my ex husband has my daughter living with him she is now aged 16 she wants her passaport bur her dad and herself doesn't want to visit. I think she is brain washed against her mum. how can I have contact supervized visit she is maltese her dad is maltese bur the divorce is done in the UK. I have still got parental responsibility but I am scared that he is doing everything so he takes that away. when I asked how she is doing ï an always been denied

Our Response:
Your only recourse would be to take the matter to court. However, an international court would cost. Plus, if your daughter is 16 and is requesting not to see you, then she would be able to give a preference. You would have to be able to prove 'aprental alienation' - please see link here. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 8-Dec-17 @ 12:48 PM
hi. my ex husbandhas my daughter living with him she is now aged 16she wants her passaport bur her dad and herself doesn't want to visit. I think she is brain washed against her mum. how can I have contact supervized visit she is maltese her dad is maltese bur the divorce is done in the UK. I have still got parental responsibilitybut I am scared that he is doing everything so he takes that away. when I asked how she is doing ï an always been denied
liverpool - 7-Dec-17 @ 11:51 PM
I married my ex wive back in August 2004 and we divorced in Feb 2015. We have two children who are 10 and 4. Now she has a new partner whom she had another child with and she changed her number and address but still lives in same city. As i was devastated and depressed i left UK to go my country. I have no job and no income at all and i am being supported by my family (sisters) until i find a job. Now it has been a year since i have not had contact with my kids and i miss them so much. I tried via her friends and family members to alliw me to at leasy speak to my kids over the phone. What can i do to get access to my kids legally? Obviously because of being unemployed i am not supporting them monetarily. Please advice as i am desperate to have access to my kids.
YB - 14-Nov-17 @ 1:12 AM
NotaBene - Your Question:
We married in May 2014 in London (Camden) where we lived at that time. In November 2014 our son was born there. Same month we moved to North London (Enfield). In April 2015 we split. My ex moved to Central London (Maida Vale). In June 2015 she left the country with my son. She used a written permission I gave her before we split. Originally she continued to work from abroad commuting each month to London. During this time my son stayed abroad. She explained that this arrangement makes it easier for her to take care of our son due to the presence of her extended family. She also wanted to stay close to her mum as she is battling cancer.Originally I had sympathy and understanding for this arrangement and did not object to it even though the written permission I gave her expired in October 2016. However, it became increasingly difficult to have contact with my son. She would cancel arrangements on a short notice. She would also obstruct my son visiting my family. It went like this for more than a year.What can I do in this case? I basically would like to be able to see my son for at least a few days every 3 months. I also would like to alternate the holidays (Christmas, Easter, New Year Eve, his Birthday) between me and my ex (e.g. one year my son spends Christmas with her family, one with mine). My ex says that she may agree to the visits every 3 months (although so far she often changed her mind on a short notice so I can't trust her word on this) but she would not agree to alternate the holidays. Can I do something about it?My ex has British and foreign nationality - same like my son.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. As with any disagreement of this nature, mediation should be the first port of call, please see link here. If your ex refuses to negotiate via mediation, then you would be allowed to apply to court. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate. However, you may wish to seek professional legal advice due to the international aspect to your situation which may complicate matters.
SeparatedDads - 3-Nov-17 @ 10:44 AM
We married in May 2014 in London (Camden) where we lived at that time. In November 2014 our son was born there. Same month we moved to North London (Enfield). In April 2015 we split. My ex moved to Central London (Maida Vale). In June 2015 she left the country with my son. She used a written permission I gave her before we split. Originally she continued to work from abroad commuting each month to London. During this time my son stayed abroad. She explained that this arrangement makes it easier for her to take care of our son due to the presence of her extended family. She also wanted to stay close to her mum as she is battling cancer. Originally I had sympathy and understanding for this arrangement and did not object to it even though the written permission I gave her expired in October 2016. However, it became increasingly difficult to have contact with my son. She would cancel arrangements on a short notice. She would also obstruct my son visiting my family. It went like this for more than a year. What can I do in this case? I basically would like to be able to see my son for at least a few days every 3 months. I also would like to alternate the holidays (Christmas, Easter, New Year Eve, his Birthday) between me and my ex (e.g. one year my son spends Christmas with her family, one with mine). My ex says that she may agree to the visits every 3 months (although so far she often changed her mind on a short notice so I can't trust her word on this) but she would not agree to alternate the holidays. Can I do something about it? My ex has British and foreign nationality - same like my son.
NotaBene - 2-Nov-17 @ 6:37 PM
I split with my ex 9 years ago. I have 3 boys 10yrs, 13yrs and 17yrs. I pay regular money every month without fail and have had them stay over 2 to 3 nights per week. Also I pay for other items such as gym membership, sports classes etc. My ex has been awkward with regards to signing a divorce paper as I am due to get married again to a wonderful lady I met 2 years after the split. I paid the initial £550 and had paperwork sent out twice but it was never returned to the courts. I explained to my ex that if it wasn't returned it would cost a further £50 which I did not have so it would leave a £50 shortfall on the maintenance money for the following month. As the court still did not receive anything (my ex is adamant that she sent them on both occasions) I payed the due fee and had to adjust the maintenance on this occasion. My ex is now saying that the children cannot stay over midweek only at weekends and she will take me for every penny via child maintenance as they wont be staying over as often and make it as difficult as possible, I cannot facilitate every weekend due my work commitments and shift pattern. However I would like my children to stay over when I am off like they always have. I don't know which way to turn because this happens on and off regularly when something does not agree with her. She denies that they stay the amount of time that they do and tells the children that I am a liar and do not really have to work weekends and only have them midweek because it lowers my maintenance fees. I cannot discuss it with her because it simply results in her shouting and screeming in front of the children which I most certainly do not want. Any advice would be welcomed.
Gjh - 26-Oct-17 @ 4:28 AM
jwk - Your Question:
Hi what happens if the mother does not turn up for the first court hearing ????

Our Response:
Firstly, each person involved in the court case should attend the hearing. If the person who doesn't attend is the respondent to the application, then the court can proceed with the hearing in their absence, dependent upon the circumstances. If you are being legally represented, your solicitor will be able to tell you more. At the extreme level, if the respondent doesn't tun up the court can order the respondent to pay the other party's costs of the hearing, if they are deemed to be in contempt of court. Any person who is seen as deliberately avoiding the court process is effectively wasting the court's time. Therefore, such action is not condoned, unless there is a justifiable reason for the respondent's absence.
SeparatedDads - 24-Oct-17 @ 9:48 AM
hi what happens if the mother does not turn up for the first court hearing ????
jwk - 23-Oct-17 @ 4:18 PM
@Bob - the courts have improved over the years. It's a shame that your relationship with your daughter has been ruined by this. But the credit card issue, isn't the fault of the courts. The courts will try to give access where is can but if the ex is the one that is obstructing it, that's where your problem lies. Tom.
TiVO - 19-Oct-17 @ 12:59 PM
The system stinks. I spent tens of thousands in trying to get contact with my daughter but each time I would go through the courts she would make a new allegation and stop the contact. Then it was back to the Courts. Having done thisfor over 11 years it's finally had a toll on me not only psychological but financially too. My daughter eventually started taking my personalpaperwork and my credit cards as she was put up to it by my ex. Having confronted my daughter about the issue she too stopped contacting me. From my personal opinion I am of the view that the courts are not designed for men. They can take several months to resolve small issues and when you have a young child involved this could be very detrimental in the child's relationship with the non resident parent. The system is riddled with red tape and most Judges are completely detached from reality and live in there bubble surrounded by a almost God like attitude towards the near mortal fathers. I have had a very bad experience of the system and it did not work for me or my daughter ! If yiur partner is remotely reasonable then I would recommend trying to negotiate directly. The legal system for men in my opinion does not work.
Bob - 18-Oct-17 @ 2:37 AM
Jak - Your Question:
I have 3 young children an have split with my ex I have my kids wed overnight drop them bak at 7 am and I have them Saturday from 4 (unless I don't have work then earlier)and drop them bak Monday before work 7 am she is now saying after 2 years of this that I now have to collect them 8 am Saturday or pick them up from a contact centre after work ( I have to work Saturday were I can to put a roof over my head and pay child support etc )which is not fair on kids in my eyes am I being unreasonable or is this a big extreme and can she do this without going to court ??

Our Response:
You would have to explore mediation if you both disagree and before either of you can apply to court, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 21-Aug-17 @ 11:06 AM
I have 3 young children an have split with my ex I have my kids wed overnight drop them bak at 7 am and I have them Saturday from 4 (unless I don't have work then earlier)and drop them bak Monday before work 7 am she is now saying after 2 years of this that I now have to collect them 8 am Saturday or pick them up from a contact centre after work ( I have to work Saturday were I can to put a roof over my head and pay child support etc )which is not fair on kids in my eyes am I being unreasonable or is this a big extreme and can she do this without going to court ??
Jak - 19-Aug-17 @ 12:17 PM
Livie - Your Question:
My partner and I have seperated after a 10year relationship, wasnt on great terms and the relationship was difficult through the 10years, she has went to womans aid, made false claims, registered my son with children first, I see my wee boy once a week, I dote on him as he does me, I am going to have to go through court but am in fear of losing my son because she has contacted womans aid as her back up, I know if she fully takes my son away it will destroy both him and i, but I really dont know where do I stand?

Our Response:
You cannot apply to court unless you first of all try to solve any issues via mediation, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 18-Jul-17 @ 1:57 PM
My partner and i have seperated after a 10year relationship, wasnt on great terms and the relationship was difficult through the 10years, she has went to womans aid, made false claims, registered my son with children first, i see my wee boy once a week, i dote on him as he does me, i am going to have to go through court but am in fear of losing my son because she has contacted womans aid as her back up, i know if she fully takes my son away it will destroy both him and i, but i really dont know where do i stand?
Livie - 17-Jul-17 @ 8:41 PM
Myboysx - Your Question:
Hi I stopped my ex seeing my children 7 weeks ago we had a bad ending to our relationship, but ive stopped at nothing for him to see his children and he has constantly let them down, drinks all the time, takes class A drugs when Out, doesn't pay nothing ttowards them and sits in the pub all day when he did have them, in the last 7 weeks nothing has changed in his life for the better for his children I really dont like that ive stopped him seeing them I cant afford courts and my legal aid got declined, I'm after some advice on what I can do next.

Our Response:
If you have stopped your ex from seeing your kids, then it is up to your ex to either suggest mediation in order to try to resolve the issue and if you refuse take the matter to court. If you have stopped him seeing his kids and he does nothing to object to your actions, then there is little you can do.
SeparatedDads - 10-Jul-17 @ 12:40 PM
Hi I stopped my ex seeing my children 7 weeks ago we had a bad ending to our relationship, but ive stopped at nothing for him to see his childrenand he has constantly let them down, drinks all the time, takes class A drugs when Out, doesn't pay nothing ttowards them and sits in the pub all day when he did have them, in the last 7 weeks nothing has changed in his life for the better for his childreni really dont like that ive stopped him seeing them i cant afford courts and my legal aid got declined, I'm after some advice on what I can do next......
Myboysx - 9-Jul-17 @ 9:42 PM
Cubanheels - Your Question:
My son's ex is beyond bitter when the relationship broke down.they have a 7month old son together.she vowed to ruin him and to date her efforts albeit extreme have been proven false allegations. Recent being accusing him of assault all charges were dropped and case thrown out of court but he has had no contact with his son. Is there an organisation to help tackle ex partners and their constant allegations I do not know how much he can take.help

Our Response:
You don't say whether the judge specifically said no contact would be awarded, or whether the issue of contact has not been dealt with. If the issue of contact was not dealt with in this case and if his ex is refusing your son access to his child and will not consider mediation, then he will need to apply to court for a C100 contact order. If your son cannot afford legal fees , he can self litigate, please see link here . If he can, some initial legal advice may help him to explore his options fully.
SeparatedDads - 20-Jun-17 @ 10:48 AM
My son's ex is beyond bitter when the relationship broke down.they have a 7month old son together.she vowed to ruin him and to date her efforts albeit extreme have been proven false allegations. Recent being accusing him of assault all charges were dropped and case thrown out of court but he has had no contact with his son. Is there an organisation to help tackle ex partners and their constant allegations I do not know how much he can take.help
Cubanheels - 17-Jun-17 @ 4:25 AM
My partner has an 10 year old son, They have always had a fantastic relationship but recently his ex has starting alienating his son against him. Sadly she is very clever and manipulative and now his son doesn't want to see him stating "no reason" He is about send off a C100 form but what if CAFCASS speaks to his son and he says the same thing? Will the court side with his son? All contact has stopped as his ex says that is what their son wants. He has wrote letters to his son but heard nothing back.
frustration - 5-Jun-17 @ 6:25 AM
Lisa - Your Question:
My estranged mother & stepfather & her new partner are contacting my ex partner who was abusive & controlling towards me- to try to arrange to see my 5 year old daughter when she has contact with him. We separated when she was a year old. My stepfather is a convicted paedophile & I believe my mums new partner is the same. I haven't had any contact with them in over 3 years after dying to go to mediation with my mother but she always made excuses not to turn up. She says she wants a relationship with my daughter but I have said we need to work things out without the men in her life - which she refuses to do! She makes excuses all the time & says I'm exaggerating. She's always sent my daughter a birthday card which I have ignored but this year she text my ex & asked him to collect it from her. He then went over there without me realising, collected the card & made arrangements for them to see my daughter next week! He later told me via text! His reasons are that he was always close to his grandparents & he feels our daughter should be too! But she doesn't know them, they are manipulative & abusive & I don't want them near my daughter at all!!! I was abused as a child by a boyfriend of my mothers which she let happen & when I told her she threatened me to keep it quiet or else I'll bring 'shame upon the family' I don't think she'll ever change. What are my rights? Can I get a court order preventing my ex communicating with them & preventing them seeing my daughter????

Our Response:
Specific Issue Orders, much like the name suggests, are orders sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that you and your ex-partner cannot agree on, such as preventing someone from having contact with your child, please see link here. If, as you say, the grandfather has been convicted of abuse to children, it is highly likely a court would award the order in your favour.
SeparatedDads - 23-May-17 @ 2:07 PM
My estranged mother & stepfather & her new partner are contacting my ex partner who was abusive & controlling towards me- to try to arrange to see my 5 year old daughter when she has contact with him. We separated when she was a year old. My stepfather is a convicted paedophile & I believe my mums new partner is the same. I haven't had any contact with them in over 3 years after dying to go to mediation with my mother but she always made excuses not to turn up. She says she wants a relationship with my daughter but I have said we need to work things out without the men in her life - which she refuses to do! She makes excuses all the time & says I'm exaggerating. She's always sent my daughter a birthday card which I have ignored but this year she text my ex & asked him to collect it from her. He then went over there without me realising, collected the card & made arrangements for them to see my daughter next week! He later told me via text! His reasons are that he was always close to his grandparents & he feels our daughter should be too! But she doesn't know them, they are manipulative & abusive & I don't want them near my daughter at all!!! I was abused as a child by a boyfriend of my mothers which she let happen & when I told her she threatened me to keep it quiet or else I'll bring 'shame upon the family' I don't think she'll ever change. What are my rights? Can I get a court order preventing my ex communicating with them & preventing them seeing my daughter????
Lisa - 22-May-17 @ 8:18 PM
Kell - Your Question:
My friends ex partner has stopped his access with their son. (Their relationship broke down after she confessed to cheating on him whilst pregnant, a couple of months after the Childs birth, she then left him for the other man).My friend left his home for her & their son, provided her with a car & made sure she was financially taken care of. Initially she was happy for my friend to have regular, frequent contact as she was out a lot with her new partner but several months later she became unreliable & gradually reduced the contact until she stopped access all together (without providing any reason). Her new partner was playing the role of the father & my friend was left heart broken.After exhausting all other options he sought legal advice & arranged mediation, he attended several times but she didn't. He then decided to proceed to court but in order to hinder this she made several false allegations of harassment to the police, each where investigated & no further action was taken until recently. He received a phone call to say another claim had been made & charges would be brought against him. As if this wasn't devastating enough, his court date is not until after his sons 2nd birthday so he is distraught that he won't see his son on his special day. Is there anything he can do in the circumstances surrounding this case?Is there any way he could apply for a temporary order to see his son on or around his birthday, even for a short period? He would even be happy with supervised access, he just wants his son to know he is there for him & show him he loves him. He is an all round wonderful person but most of all he is an amazing father & this is such an unfair, distressing time for him.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If your friend has taken legal advice his legal representative will be able to advise him further on this - as much depends upon the circumstances surrounding the charges.
SeparatedDads - 19-May-17 @ 10:16 AM
My friends ex partner has stopped his access with their son. (Their relationship broke down after she confessed to cheating on him whilst pregnant, a couple of months after the Childs birth, she then left him for the other man). My friend left his home for her & their son, provided her with a car & made sure she was financially taken care of. Initially she was happy for my friend to have regular, frequent contact as she was out a lot with her new partner but several months later she became unreliable & gradually reduced the contact until she stopped access all together (without providing any reason). Her new partner was playing the role of the father & my friend was left heart broken. After exhausting all other options he sought legal advice & arranged mediation, he attended several times but she didn't. He then decided to proceed to court but in order to hinder this she made several false allegations of harassment to the police, each where investigated & no further action was taken until recently. He received a phone call to say another claim had been made & charges would be brought against him. As if this wasn't devastating enough, his court date is not until after his sons 2nd birthday so he is distraught that he won't see his son on his special day. Is there anything he can do in the circumstances surrounding this case? Is there any way he could apply for a temporary order to see his son on or around his birthday, even for a short period? He would even be happy with supervised access, he just wants his son to know he is there for him & show him he loves him. He is an all round wonderful person but most of all he is an amazing father & this is such an unfair, distressing time for him.
Kell - 18-May-17 @ 3:47 PM
LoopyLoo - Your Question:
Hi, my ex has got a unpredictable temper. We split when my son was 2 months. He is now 5 and a half minths. Since then he has been vile to me. I let him see our son 3 times a week. Last month he got in my face when I was holding him, last Sunday he called me vile names and punched my front door, whilst I was holding my son. I don't want him to stop seeing him I just want to do it in a contact center. I don't want him to have him alone as I don't trust him. He is now twisting it around and calling me selfish. But I just don't want him in my home and around our son as I don't trust him. What can I do?

Our Response:
If you cannot or do not wish to negotiate directly with your ex, then mediation may work for you, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 3-May-17 @ 10:25 AM
Hi, my ex has got a unpredictable temper. We split when my son was 2 months. He is now 5 and a half minths. Since then he has been vile to me. I let him see our son 3 times a week. Last month he got in my face when I was holding him, last Sunday he called me vile names and punched my front door, whilst I was holding my son. I don't want him to stop seeing him I just want to do it in a contact center. I don't want him to have him alone as I don't trust him. He is now twisting it around and calling me selfish. But I just don't want him in my home and around our son as I don't trust him. What can I do?
LoopyLoo - 2-May-17 @ 12:45 PM
Hi, I had contact through social services on a weekly basis with my 4 year old daughter unsupervised and overnight access, very recently I have been stopped from seeing my little girl due to me and my current partner been attacked in my own home I understand that this makes my home unsafe for my daughter but my mam and I have lost all contact with her and my daughters Mam says social services said that she wasn't allowed near me I have phoned social up and there is nothing on record to say I am a danger around my little girl I love her to bits she is my world is there anything I can do to regain my contact without going to court as that's a lengthy process and would like to see my daughter as it's making my mental health detiriate over the months of not seeing her
Tillysdad - 13-Apr-17 @ 12:51 PM
Long story short - my ex is not letting me see my son because I won't give her any money, in the past she has miss used the money because I would give her a lot every month which was for nursery as well as maintance - then found out that we was in ALOT of debt with the nursery because is wasn't getting paid every month and I have a bill of proff just don't have prof of what the money went on I just know it wasn't clearly the nursery. Then I picked my ex up on this once my son started school and now she demands so much a month or I won't see him so I did this for a couple of months then she wanted me to lie about a letter for her solisitor which I didn't feel comfortable doing so I said no and desided I wasnt going to give her any money until I have gone through the CSA so I know I am giving the right amount and the right way because she would always want it cash!! And the ammount she would demand was a lot for what wage I was on and other bills I had to pay I would be so short I would have to borrow money. But now my ex isn't letting me see my child until she starts to get money is that right? I am going to start a case with CSA But until then she's not letting me see my son ? Any advice or help please !!!!
Jack - 31-Mar-17 @ 8:36 PM
My daughter is turning 15 in April. She sees her father regularily, goes on holidays with him, spends 2 weeks for work placement with him, but has problems with his demands on when she sees him and where they go during this time. She is bussy at school and extra curricular activities and wants to mainly see her friends now. He threatens her to talk to me via his lawyer for violating the Court order by not upholding the Court Order. He sets out the schedule without asking her how this works for her commitments, birthday invites, Duke of Edinbourg commitments etc. I'm scared he is costing me more money in Court, she is worried she's getting me into trouble by not obeying him. I have an older daughter who is turning 19 soon and doesn't want to see him at all anymore. I'm trying to convince them that it is better to resolve difficulties with their Dad by meeting him and talking to him, but I feel I'm not doing them a favour... I hope you can advice us, so we can stop living in fear of his threats. Their relationship seems to have broken down. There is no trust left. Thank you very much
Kitty - 29-Mar-17 @ 10:05 PM
Tasha - Your Question:
I have a question my childrens father is refusing to come to see our 2 children on a regular basis. Completely refuses to make a regular agreement. I feel it is unreasonable for him to come when he feels like it sometimes being over a month at a time! Am I wrong to stop contact? Can I apply for a contact order of some sort he needs to stick to for the benefit of the children? I really don't have a problem with him seeing them. I don't understand the unnecessary argument this is causing. Any advice on this please??

Our Response:
The court will not force a non-resident parent to see their children, where the non-resident parent does not wish to. If you stop contact and your ex wishes to see his children, then he will have the option to negotiate an agrement with you directly, suggest mediation to try to come to a written agreement, or apply to court to push for a resolution.
SeparatedDads - 28-Mar-17 @ 12:36 PM
I have a question my childrens father is refusing to come to see our 2 children on a regular basis. Completely refuses to make a regular agreement. I feel it is unreasonable for him to come when he feels like it sometimes being over a month at a time! Am I wrong to stop contact? Can I apply for a contact order of some sort he needs to stick to for the benefit of the children? I really don't have a problem with him seeing them. I don't understand the unnecessary argument this is causing. Any advice on this please??
Tasha - 27-Mar-17 @ 5:24 PM
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