I'm not on my son's birth certificate and his mother and I are separated. I'm now in a new relationship and have another child and one on the way.
The thing is my son is only five and no longer wants to live with his mother. My ex contacted me and told me to collect my son as she didn't want him anymore. She said all this in front of him and he was very upset and says he wants to live with me forever.
I'd just like to know how I stand as I'm not on his birth certificate.
(A.W, 14 September 2008)
A.
Essentially, the fact that your name isn’t on your birth certificate means you have no legal rights over your son, unless his mother allows it. If it were there, you’d have exactly the same rights as his mother and be able to make decisions about him.
So, as things stand, she could have him live with you, but she’d also have the right to demand that you return him at any time, and there’d be nothing you could really do about it, which isn’t good for either you or your son.
However, there is some good news. If both you and your ex sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and file it with the courts, you will have full parental rights over your son. If you can get your ex to agree to this, you should do it as soon as possible. That way, if your son does come to live with you and you ex demands his return, you have legal grounds for Contesting The Custody.
If she won’t sign, you could take the matter to court and apply for a Parental Responsibility Order (see our article on Your Separated Father's Rights), but it will generally only be given if the court believes it’s better than not granting an order.
You’d also be very well advised to have her put in writing that’s she giving you custody of your son. If not, she could feasibly turn around and say you snatched him. It might also be advisable to seek a Residence Order if your son comes to live with you. Seek legal advice first, as it may not be possible to get one.
If there is a problem further down the line, and your ex wants your son back, the court will try to take into account his wishes, too. Certainly a big rejection by his mother is a terrible thing, especially if she did it in front of him – so it’s understandable.
You didn’t mention if you’ve had contact with your son since you and your ex broke up. Nor do you mention how your current partner feels about the situation – which is important. Would she welcome your son into your new home? It’s important do discuss things fully with her and make sure you have her agreement.
Hi my little brother and his partner have newly split up and she is making it difficult for him to see his daughters. The oldest child is not biologically his however he has been her dad since she was a year old and he is all she knows as a father figure. Would this mean he wouldnt have any rights to see her?
r13 - 1 February 2012 @ 6:32 PM
so years ago a girl told me she was pregnant and that the baby was mine, and I never believed her.Recently it started to bother me that the girl might be mine, so I had the local agency do a paternity test. as it turns out, I was wrong. I would like a relationship with my daughter and the mother is all for it. How do I go about signing her birth certificate? there is no father listed on her birth certificate now. I am in Florida.
M_W - 21 January 2012 @ 10:52 PM
Hello I was wondering if my name is on my sons BC due to signing a Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity does that give me any legal rights, or visitational rights in IL or do I have to go to court to establish them. My name has been on the BC since August of this year but neither myself or my ex knew, im unsure if she knows now but I checked the records and found it too be changed. We had a verbal agreement of every other weekend and most of the time I ended up taking him every friday as well which I do not mind. He is 10 MO she has now broken all communication, and refused to let me see or even talk to me about him, since Oct 16. She has said that she has obtained an attourney for some time now but I have yet to be served or anything, She basically told me that her legal counsel had told her it was not in her best interest to contact or speak too me. I also have a daughter due in march with the same woman and dont want to go through this again. Also I do not know if I should take this into account but in the past 2 years she has lived in 5 different homes with 2 other guys the other three being my fathers home her mothers, and my mothers home. So in all legality what are my rights if any too my son and is she legally justified in not talking too or letting me see my son?
Brandon - 30 October 2011 @ 2:39 PM
Are you named on the child's birth certificate? If not, this means youyou have no legal rights. You could make a court application for parental responsibility but would be advised to take legal advice first.
SeparatedDads - 4 August 2011 @ 9:16 AM
I am meant to be the father of a child but found out when she 2 months pregnant was also texting another guy saying he the dad. We split. Found out she had 2 children in care also. She's now saying child is mine but I'm not getting DNA but this child now been taken to foster parents from hospital and may be adopted. Do I have any rights and how do I get DNA if she won't allow it and she hasn't got the child?
paula1 - 4 August 2011 @ 5:22 AM
I would like to know my Rights with my Daughter, she is only 2 and I am not with the mother we have never been together and I didn't even know I had a daughter, according to the mother she wasn't mine. So I had a DNA test done just before her second birthday and it come back that she is mine, however I am obv not in the birth certificate as we have only just found out she is mine. I would like to know what my rights are as a father how often I should get to see her etc
jimboy - 20 July 2011 @ 9:45 PM
Unfortunately, as you are not named on the birth certificate, you have no legal rights to your son's care. However, if your ex agrees to signing a Parental Contract Agreement and files it with the courts, you can gain rights.
SeparatedDads - 7 July 2011 @ 10:00 AM
I have a 5 year old son I am not on the birth papers but I really want to be in his life. Me and the mother do not talk. I have tried to send letter with no replay. Is there any think I can do?
