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What Rights do I have if I'm not on the Birth Certificate

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 31 Oct 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Separation Parental Responsibility

Q.

I'm not on my son's birth certificate and his mother and I are separated. I'm now in a new relationship and have another child and one on the way.

The thing is my son is only five and no longer wants to live with his mother. My ex contacted me and told me to collect my son as she didn't want him anymore. She said all this in front of him and he was very upset and says he wants to live with me forever.

I'd just like to know how I stand as I'm not on his birth certificate.

(A.W, 14 September 2008)

A.

Essentially, the fact that your name isn’t on your birth certificate means you have no legal rights over your son, unless his mother allows it. If it were there, you’d have exactly the same rights as his mother and be able to make decisions about him.

So, as things stand, she could have him live with you, but she’d also have the right to demand that you return him at any time, and there’d be nothing you could really do about it, which isn’t good for either you or your son.

However, there is some good news. If both you and your ex sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and file it with the courts, you will have full parental rights over your son. If you can get your ex to agree to this, you should do it as soon as possible. That way, if your son does come to live with you and you ex demands his return, you have legal grounds for Contesting The Custody.

If she won’t sign, you could take the matter to court and apply for a Parental Responsibility Order (see our article on Your Separated Father's Rights), but it will generally only be given if the court believes it’s better than not granting an order.

You’d also be very well advised to have her put in writing that’s she giving you custody of your son. If not, she could feasibly turn around and say you snatched him. It might also be advisable to seek a Residence Order if your son comes to live with you. Seek legal advice first, as it may not be possible to get one.

If there is a problem further down the line, and your ex wants your son back, the court will try to take into account his wishes, too. Certainly a big rejection by his mother is a terrible thing, especially if she did it in front of him – so it’s understandable.

You didn’t mention if you’ve had contact with your son since you and your ex broke up. Nor do you mention how your current partner feels about the situation – which is important. Would she welcome your son into your new home? It’s important do discuss things fully with her and make sure you have her agreement.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Me and my ex broke up two days after we found out we was pregnant. I tried to break up with him before we ever found out due to being controlling, accusing me of cheating and being possessive. He was horrible through my pregnancy by threatening to take me to court. He didn’t show any interest with my pregnancy either. My son is now 6 months old. The father at first was seeing him 3 times a week for a month but then stopped coming round. He’s not on the birth certificate and he hasn’t paid. He also was causing so much drama that put me into a deep depression. But now he wants to see him and start paying. Again he has threatened me with taking me to court. I don’t trust him as he does drugs and doesn’t listen to when it comes to my sons health and safety. I don’t know what to do. Do I let him start seeing his son or not after everything he’s done?
Popcical - 31-Oct-18 @ 4:53 PM
@louie.advice taking you are not my ex I have moved on many years ago .now I am troll for all these sites about this stuff because I never thought about my rights as a father when my was ex left .and now I now she withholds my daughter out of spite because I have read every god damn blog on the internet and this is what they are telling me .but in reality these blogs have been education and fun .
Lou is retiring . - 22-Oct-18 @ 11:22 AM
@chris Im not your ex I dont like a punch to the face Nor did my ex partner other childrens mothers who also have restrsing orders Move on you sound bitter at some one else
Louie - 22-Oct-18 @ 9:26 AM
I had my baby girl 4 months ago her dad cheated when i was 11 weeks pregnant he made my pregnancy hell to the point i was put in counciling so i didnt lose the baby, i had the baby and he got worse and become intimidating and abusive so i got a court order so he cant come near me, hes not on the birth certificate, but hes threatening to take me to court to gain access to my daughter but i dont want him to have her on his own as he frequently tries to commit suicide and has a criminal record or domestic violence against his other childrens mothers, can he gain access so he can have her on his own ? @chris What are the lies the criminal records or the mental health ones ?
Louie - 22-Oct-18 @ 9:20 AM
@louie.i think that is a big pack off lies big tall tales mates to hide your own guilt not about the (cheating) put about putting (his daughter) at risk with neglect .you Are exactly like my ex a lieing scheming troll off a thing .i was bloody clueless years ago about my rights to my daughter years ago .if had my time again I would have keeped my daughter with all the stuff I have on my x was enough to justify my actions and I believe any bloody judge would to .my ex needs to take a good long look at herself .
Chris laurie - 21-Oct-18 @ 11:02 PM
I had my baby girl 4 months ago her dad cheated when i was 11 weeks pregnant he made my pregnancy hell to the point i was put in counciling so i didnt lose the baby, i had the baby and he got worse and become intimidating and abusive so i got a court order so he cant come near me, hes not on the birth certificate, but hes threatening to take me to court to gain access to my daughter but i dont want him to have her on his own as he frequently tries to commit suicide and has a criminal record or domestic violence against his other childrens mothers, can he gain access so he can have her on his own ?
Louie - 21-Oct-18 @ 9:34 PM
My daughter is 7 years old and I have had regular contact with my daughter for the last 7 years. All of a sudden I am being denied access to my daughter. I am not on the birth certifcate. If I take my childs mother to court will I have stand a chance of getting any parental custody? I am and have been a good father figure for my daughter.
trav - 20-Oct-18 @ 11:09 AM
What responsibilities and rights does my son have with his son. His ex partner is refusing letting him see his son, he’s not named on the birth certificate and wants to but she won’t agree to amending it and he can’t get dna because she won’t let him see him. He pays her weekly for his son and as asked her to do mediation so in the event he can go down the court route, to which she’s refused. Any advice would be much appreciated.
M - 18-Oct-18 @ 4:02 PM
If dad not named on birth certificate . Can stepdad adopt
jennifer sutherland - 23-Aug-18 @ 5:12 PM
Mill - Your Question:
I'm due to have a baby boy on the 23rd December, His dad is controlling and we are no longer together. He turns up to appointments and that's about it. But he's saying I don't have a right to just move with our son. I'm also considering not putting him on the birth certificate. Can I get in trouble or fined if I do so?

Our Response:
You will not get fined or in trouble if you refuse to register the father of your child on the birth certificate. However, the father of your child will be able to apply to court, please see the link here.
SeparatedDads - 16-Aug-18 @ 2:59 PM
mug - Your Question:
Ive been in a relationship with my now ex partner for 15 year we had a daughter together at a very young age and she is now almost 14. in 2016 she had an affair with a much older man and as a result of this she fell pregnant with what I thought was mine. she lead me to believe he was mine up until December last year when I did DNA because I had dowts as he looked nothing like me or my daughter. soon as I found out I left the family home and went on a self distruct mission but now she has social serverces involved saying I was violent throughout our 15 year relationship which I most certainly was not. also my name is on neither of the birth certificates what can I do to get rights over my step son and daughter ?

Our Response:
The link here will help answer your question. If you have brought the boy up as your own then you will have rights to apply for access. If you have to apply to court, then as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 16-Aug-18 @ 2:54 PM
Karlos - Your Question:
My son's ex girlfriend has just had their baby. We have no contact as she is ignoring all contact. They are both 16 and I was wondering how much it would cost to gain access, with his name left off the birth certificate.

Our Response:
The link here, should help. Cost can be kept to a minimum or cost thousands. If your son is on a low income, then he may get court fees reduced, please see the link here. Or if he cannot afford legal representation in court, then please see the link here . If your son wishes to hire a solicitor to help him, then this is where costs begin to rise dramatically.
SeparatedDads - 16-Aug-18 @ 12:43 PM
I'm due to have a baby boy on the 23rd December, His dad is controlling and we are no longer together. He turns up to appointments and that's about it. But he's saying I don't have a right to just move with our son. I'm also considering not putting him on the birth certificate. Can I get in trouble or fined if I do so?
Mill - 16-Aug-18 @ 11:24 AM
ive been in a relationship with my now ex partner for 15 year we had a daughter together at a very young age and she is now almost 14 .. in 2016 she had an affair with a much older man and as a result of this she fell pregnant with what I thought was mine .. she lead me to believe he was mine up until December last year when I did DNA because I had dowts as he looked nothing like me or my daughter .. soon as I found out I left the family home and went on a self distruct mission but now she has social serverces involved saying I was violent throughout our 15 year relationship which I most certainly was not .. also my name is on neither of the birth certificates what can I do to get rights over my step son and daughter ?
mug - 16-Aug-18 @ 10:23 AM
My son's ex girlfriend has just had their baby. We have no contact as she is ignoring all contact. They are both 16 and I was wondering how much it would cost to gain access, with his name left off the birth certificate.
Karlos - 15-Aug-18 @ 11:26 PM
@Claire- tell him to take you to court and block his number. It's very unlikely he will take you to court if he lived abroad, it would cost too much money.
FB - 13-Aug-18 @ 2:43 PM
A man I was seeing then fell pregnant (so not an ex) left to go to live in his home town abroad once I told him I was pregnant. He was disgusting to me via text when I told him I was pregnant I’ve saved the messages. He’s never tried to contact me then shows up at my mums house 2.5 years later demanding he sees his daughter. Before he left he was talking about his violent past that he has never been caught for no record etc which is why I obviously stopped seeing him back then but not actually knowing I was already pregnant. He now wants access but lives abroad. I gave him my number and now he won’t leave me alone saying he wants more children with me and to come and live in the uk I’m scared to death he’s going to try and take my daughter or even try to be put on the birth curtificate so he can take her He’s not on birth curtificate now what can I do he is no way a suitable parent he’s a great liar though so I’m sure he could convince anyone what a nice person he pretends to be What can I do to stop all of this?
Claire - 10-Aug-18 @ 10:47 AM
@kay - he would have to contact social services to see what he should do and what the situation is first.
GregM - 9-Aug-18 @ 11:13 AM
my partner had 2 children whilst in a previous relationship, he was never put on the birth certificate and once the relationship was over was denied any access to the children and with no parental rights everything seems to be against him. he is now trying his hardest once again to do what he can to get involved, ....however he has since found out that eh children were removed from the mother and placed into care does anyone know if there is anything my partner can do to at least get some form of contact with his children?
kay - 8-Aug-18 @ 2:50 PM
thumper - Your Question:
I have been told a child is mine and been contacted by csa. no dna or contact with child since birth and I am not on birth certificate. how is it that if im not on birth cert I now have to be responsible parent and pay for this child

Our Response:
The link here, should help answer your question. If you are not on the birth certificate but wish to apply, please see the link here. If you wish to apply for access, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 26-Jul-18 @ 3:36 PM
i have been told a child is mine and been contacted by csa. no dna or contact with child since birth and i am not on birth certificate. how is it that if im not on birth cert i now have to be responsible parent and pay for this child
thumper - 24-Jul-18 @ 7:41 PM
Jake - Your Question:
My girlfriend won’t let me see my daughter and she hasn’t put my name on my daughters birth certificate. Is there any way I can get a d.n.a done to prove she’s mine ?

Our Response:
The link here , should tell you all you need to know. If your ex will not let you see your child, please see the link here which will tell you all you should know about taking the matter further (if you feel you are the father, but not named on the birth certificate). You can also apply for PR, if the child is yours, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 17-Jul-18 @ 10:28 AM
My girlfriend won’t let me see my daughter and she hasn’t put my name on my daughters birth certificate . Is there any way I can get a d.n.a done to prove she’s mine ?
Jake - 16-Jul-18 @ 11:30 AM
info needed - Your Question:
Hello, my partner has a child from a previous relationship, he used to see the child until the mother stopped contact, its been around 5 years since seeing her. There is a possiblity that the child is not his due to his ex being unfaithful, she has previously denied a DNA to prove he is the father. He has always payed CSA even though he is not 100% shes his, we are desperate to find out for sure and if she is his then we would like to have access to her, what are the options and process we can take? He is also NOT on the birth certificate

Our Response:
In the first instance, your partner would have to request a DNA test through court. Your partner would have to continue paying child maintenance until the result was confirmed. It may also be worth him speaking to CMS directly regarding this matter. If the results return as positive, then your partner can apply for access through the courts, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 10-Jul-18 @ 2:14 PM
Hello, my partner has a child from a previous relationship, he used to see the child until the mother stopped contact, its been around 5 years since seeing her. There is a possiblity that the child is not his due to his ex being unfaithful, she has previously denied a DNA to prove he is the father. He has always payed CSA even though he is not 100% shes his, we are desperate to find out for sure and if she is his then we would like to have access to her, what are the options and process we can take? He is also NOT on the birth certificate
info needed - 6-Jul-18 @ 11:29 AM
James - Your Question:
The mother of my daughter has been taken into a mental health hospital and given the care of my daughter to a man she has only just met whilst ill. She has decided she no longer wants to be with me and is leaving our daughter in the care of this man. I am not on the birth certificate how do I go about getting on it so I can see my daughter

Our Response:
Unfortunately, you would have to apply to court, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 2-Jul-18 @ 12:55 PM
The mother of my daughter has been taken into a mental health hospital and given the care of my daughter to a man she has only just met whilst ill. She has decided she no longer wants to be with me and is leaving our daughter in the care of this man. I am not on the birth certificate how do I go about getting on it so I can see my daughter
James - 30-Jun-18 @ 5:45 PM
There’s a 4 year old daughter between myself and my ex but I am not named on her birth certificate. My ex and I dated and lived together for a short period and not long after she told me she was 4wks pregnant to which I was very happy as I really wanted a child. During the course of the pregnancy she informed me of her plan to register our child with the name of someone who has a settled status in the UK which would then make her settled in the UK because her Status at the time was an asylum seeker to which I refused and after months of dragging this issue she left the home we shared for the Midlands to her mother’s and never returned. Things then became more hostile when she was at her mother’s but I continued to support her financially. Around this period she suggested I may not be the father of her child and she stopped contact with me and everyone involved from my side. Around when the child would have been around 1 and a half years, I accidentally met my ex’s mother at an event and after a heated exchange over how they’d cut me off, my friends exchanged contact details with her and sometimes afterward we went to the Midlands to see her and my ex. This was my first opportunity to see my daughter who had a striking resemblance to me and the connection between us when she was told I was daddy was overwhelming. She cried and wouldn’t let go of me. My ex showed me her birth certificate briefly and I wasn’t named as her father. After this contact, my ex started demanding financial support and wanted a fixed amount. I explained to her I was not working because of my current immigration status but I wanted to support her and my daughter and I’ll be giving her some money regularly but she wasn’t happy with this and she stopped contact again. Around feb this year, I was contacted by my daughter who spoke with me over the phone, this was very emotional and agonising for me. We kept in touch regularly for about a month and things went pear shaped again. My ex wanted to re-kindle whatever we had going over 4 years ago which I tried to gently sway away from because I am in a happy relationship and I have been with my current partner for nearly 4 years who has been really supportive of me. I am not working but I have been giving my ex £50 a month since March and my partner has been sending things such as a personal tablet which my daughter asked for, casual and party clothings, educational items e.t.c but my ex is no longer speaking with me because she said it took long before I sent her the initial money and I requested for her address to sent things to my daughter and her personal bank account to send the money I’m giving her but she refused. So now I send money to a bank account which doesn’t belong to her and an address which she doesn’t seem to live in but the items are getting to her somehow. I don’t know what to do. My current partner works in social services and she wants me to apply for a parental responsibility order but I don
Sett5 - 17-Jun-18 @ 6:26 PM
JJ- Your Question:
I’m on my sons birth certificate but I haven’t seen him in 8 months because of my ex not informing me to see him , I’m going through mediation , but if things don’t work out on agreements would I still have to go court as he’s involved with social services

Our Response:
You can see all you need to know regarding the step-by-step process via the link here. This should help answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 15-Jun-18 @ 12:59 PM
I’m on my sons birth certificate but I haven’t seen him in 8 months because of my ex not informing me to see him , I’m going through mediation , but if things don’t work out on agreements would I still have to go court as he’s involved with social services
JJ - 14-Jun-18 @ 7:58 PM
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