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What Rights do I have if I'm not on the Birth Certificate

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 14 Sep 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Separation Parental Responsibility

Q.

I'm not on my son's birth certificate and his mother and I are separated. I'm now in a new relationship and have another child and one on the way.

The thing is my son is only five and no longer wants to live with his mother. My ex contacted me and told me to collect my son as she didn't want him anymore. She said all this in front of him and he was very upset and says he wants to live with me forever.

I'd just like to know how I stand as I'm not on his birth certificate.

(A.W, 14 September 2008)

A.

Essentially, the fact that your name isn’t on your birth certificate means you have no legal rights over your son, unless his mother allows it. If it were there, you’d have exactly the same rights as his mother and be able to make decisions about him.

So, as things stand, she could have him live with you, but she’d also have the right to demand that you return him at any time, and there’d be nothing you could really do about it, which isn’t good for either you or your son.

However, there is some good news. If both you and your ex sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and file it with the courts, you will have full parental rights over your son. If you can get your ex to agree to this, you should do it as soon as possible. That way, if your son does come to live with you and you ex demands his return, you have legal grounds for Contesting The Custody.

If she won’t sign, you could take the matter to court and apply for a Parental Responsibility Order (see our article on Your Separated Father's Rights), but it will generally only be given if the court believes it’s better than not granting an order.

You’d also be very well advised to have her put in writing that’s she giving you custody of your son. If not, she could feasibly turn around and say you snatched him. It might also be advisable to seek a Residence Order if your son comes to live with you. Seek legal advice first, as it may not be possible to get one.

If there is a problem further down the line, and your ex wants your son back, the court will try to take into account his wishes, too. Certainly a big rejection by his mother is a terrible thing, especially if she did it in front of him – so it’s understandable.

You didn’t mention if you’ve had contact with your son since you and your ex broke up. Nor do you mention how your current partner feels about the situation – which is important. Would she welcome your son into your new home? It’s important do discuss things fully with her and make sure you have her agreement.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Share Your Story, Join the Discussion or Seek Advice..
[Add a Comment]
Jhogg82 - Your Question:
Hello, Please can you provide any advice.My partner has a child from a previous relationship. He is not on the birth certificate but they did have a DNA test when the child was born which the mother had this letter confirming he is the father. He currently pays money directly to the mother each month and this was a private arrangement they made. The mother has made it as difficult for him and his family to see the child and he has now not seen the child for a year due to her being so difficult. He does not know what to do as he is not on the birth certificate and he is still paying the money each month directly to the mother. Please can anybody advise on what he can do? many thanks

Our Response:
Your partner has two options, request his ex attends mediation, and if she refuses apply for a C100 contact order through court, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 14-Sep-17 @ 2:47 PM
Hello, Please can you provide any advice. My partner has a child from a previous relationship. He is not on the birth certificate but they did have a DNA test when the child was born which the mother had this letter confirming he is the father. He currently pays money directly to the mother each month and this was a private arrangement they made. The mother has made it as difficult for him and his family to see the child and he has now not seen the child for a year due to her being so difficult. He does not know what to do as he is not on the birth certificate and he is still paying the money each month directly to the mother. Please can anybody advise on what he can do? many thanks
Jhogg82 - 14-Sep-17 @ 9:34 AM
Lockie - Your Question:
Hello,this is about my boyfriend, he has a 3 year old daughter, there is no order or criminal records he has to prevent him seeing his daughter, he's tried to get in touch and has been begging to see his child however the mothers response is that ' she doesn't know you so no'. We cant afford courts at this moment in time so what do I do. I'm trying to help the best I can but I am stuck on what to say next.

Our Response:
If your boyfriend's ex is refusing him access, then he has no option but to apply to court, please see link here. If he cannot afford legal representation when taking the matter to court, he can self-litigate, please see link here . Also, if he is on a low income, he may get a reduction in court fees, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 11-Sep-17 @ 12:45 PM
hello, this is about my boyfriend, he has a 3 year old daughter, there is no order or criminal records he has to prevent him seeing his daughter, he's tried to get in touch and has been begging to see his child however the mothers response is that ' she doesn't know you so no'. We cant afford courts at this moment in time so what do I do. I'm trying to help the best I can but I am stuck on what to say next.
Lockie - 10-Sep-17 @ 1:09 PM
hello me and my girlfriend have ended are relationship and we have a son she said that she stopping me from seeing him and yes my name is on the birth certificate I said to her she cant do that she said she as more rights then I do and we not married so she said I can I don't know what to do
haradeve - 11-Aug-17 @ 6:57 PM
Hiya I have recently found out I'm pregnant I've decided to keep the baby and I'm not with the father. He's keen to be involved with the baby which I'm really happy about but has he lives quiet a few miles away from me which would make it hard for him to see the baby all the time, he's asking me to move my other children miles away from where I live and my family so the baby would be closer to him which I obviously refused as it would not be fair on my other children or me as my family help me when I work. Here's the thing I'm worried to put his name on the birth certificate as I'm ?? sure he will try taking custody of the baby which terrifies me. What would his chances be?
Jill - 11-Aug-17 @ 6:21 PM
Nos - Your Question:
Im not on my sons birth cert. And his mother has got a protection order on me. Ive seen my son all of 10hrs since his birth and he is now a 1yr old. According to the protection order im not allowed to make first contact with my sons or his mother, im to leave first contact to her. She doesnt contact me in months and admitidly I have made first contact a couple times due to me getting sick of waiting to hear about myson and then I get blamed for not contacting her or making an effort to go see him or paying child support. Am I wrong in saying that she has brought all this on herself by getting that order on me and also what can I do to get access to my son. Please help me I really want to see my boy

Our Response:
We cannot say whether your ex was right or wrong., much depends upon whether she felt a protection order was needed. If you wish to seek access to your son, you would have to take the matter to court. Therefore, legal advice would be helpful here.
SeparatedDads - 7-Aug-17 @ 11:53 AM
Im not on my sons birth cert. And his mother has got a protection order on me. Ive seen my son all of 10hrs since his birth and he is now a 1yr old. According to the protection order im not allowed to make first contact with my sons or his mother, im to leave first contact to her. She doesnt contact me in months and admitidly i have made first contact a couple times due to me getting sick of waiting to hear about myson and then i get blamed for not contacting her or making an effort to go see him or paying child support. Am i wrong in saying that she has brought all this on herself by getting that order on me and also what can i do to get access to my son. Please help me i really want to see my boy
Nos - 5-Aug-17 @ 3:26 AM
smiles - Your Question:
I have a grandson and his fathers name was never put on his birth certificate. My daughter and the father lived together until my daughter was incarcerated and she left him with his father. 2months later, his father became ill. They both moved in with the father's mother for appx. 1 month and the father passed away. the day he died, he signed custody over to his parents without my daughters knowledge or consent. Did have any legal rights to do that since he was never on the birth certificate? What rights do I have as the maternal grandmother?

Our Response:
Your daughter herself has a right to challenge this. While you too may have a right to challenge this, much will depend upon how long the child has been in the grandparent's care. It is unlikely the court would move the child from where the child is settled, unless necessary. However, this is purely academic. Much depends upon the circumstances and it is impossible to advise upon what is obviously a complex case. You and/or your daughter would have to seek professional legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 28-Jul-17 @ 2:31 PM
I have a grandson and his fathers name was never put on his birth certificate. My daughter and the father lived together until my daughter was incarcerated and she left him with his father. 2months later, his father became ill. They both moved in with the father's mother for appx. 1 month and the father passed away. the day he died, he signed custody over to his parents without my daughters knowledge or consent. Did have any legal rights to do that since he was never on the birth certificate? What rights do I have as the maternal grandmother?
smiles - 27-Jul-17 @ 1:36 PM
Hi I'm a 26 year old Ronny daughter who is about to turn 2 at the end of the month, I had a one night affair with the mother and she only told me when she was 7 months old but told me I can't be the father as the dates don't match however once my daughter was born I received a call from social services when she was around 6 weeks they was involved from the birth due to the mother having previous children taken from her care due to certain actions she had taken in the past, anyway the social worker explained that the mother believed it was either myself or another man who was the potential fathers however the other potential dad refused to do a DNA test because he didn't want anything to do with her so they asked me to do a DNA test to eliminate one of us so she could find out who the father was. I didn't hesitate to say yes and did a test the next day at a local clinic, within the next weeks I received a call explaining the DNA test came back and it was 99.999999% she was mine. Obviously Iwas ecstatic as this was my first born to begin with I couldn't have contact due to social services being involved and had to have a crb check and a risk assessment which involved checks on my close family also until I could have unsupervised contact.I did all that was required and completed all risk assessments and meetings with many different social workers. I started building a relationship with my daughter and being as excited as I was I asked the mother to put me on the birth certificate and also asked if she would consider putting my surname on the bc also, this instantly caused problems and there after didn't have any contact because the mother was paranoid I was trying to take full custody which was not my aim at all. I had an on and off relationship with my daughter as the mother picked and chose when she wanted me to see her i since found out she got back with the other man in question who initially refused to do the DNA test and he was bringing my daughter up, she wished me away and wanted me to give up stating I'll never see my daughter I did used to have her at home on a weekend I would catch 4 buses in order to pick her up and get back to mine and 4 buses when she would go back, I offered money which she would not take so instead i would buy clothes every time I took her back big packs of nappies milk etc, and always left her with the receipts so she knew how much I was spending I'm not bothered about the money that is not the issue here , eventually my relationship became non existant once again which caused my life to downward spiral and had a bad 12 months binging on drink and drugs(no hard drugs, cocaine mainly) which I know was the wrong thing to do I am now completely clean and away from that lifestyle and currently attending drinking and drug courses to prevent me from relapsing I have regularly urine test for proof I am still not using. I'm recently trying to read kindle my relationship some days she will reply somedays she
Kerr26 - 13-Jul-17 @ 9:22 AM
Sarah - Your Question:
Hello my daughter's father says he gonna take me to court with a solicitor and saying he will get a DNA test done can he still do it without being on birth certificate

Our Response:
Yes, if your daughter's father wants to prove whether he is your child's father or not and you refuse a DNA test, then his option will be to take the matter to court and the court can make a request that one is carried out.
SeparatedDads - 11-Jul-17 @ 12:02 PM
Hello my daughter's father says he gonna take me to court with a solicitor and saying he will get a DNA test done can he still do itwithout being on birth certificate
Sarah - 10-Jul-17 @ 7:22 PM
dan - Your Question:
Hi im thinking of representing myself in court for visitation im 19 years old and the mother of my child has never let me see him and im not on the birth certificate I currently am unemployed and not on any sort of benefits I have interviews with the royal navy lined up as a career goal but would rather resolve this matter before making that decision my son is currently 2 years and 7 months of age the mothers only grounds for not letting me see him is that I dumped her and that I was a former drug user (weed) she also use to take drugs with me when we were together any advice would be great

Our Response:
If you wish to represent yourself in court, the best option you have is to make sure you prepare your case well and are armed with knowledge (our Separated Dads pages can provide this). The court will always have the objective of deciding what it thinks is in your child's best interests. It is not concerned with any critisism of your ex. If you were a former drug user, if you can prove you are no longer this will help you. I would also advise you to join forums and/or groups where you can get advice from other dads who have been through the same or similar situation. Our Separated Dads may help you here. If you are not on the birth certificate you can apply for Parental Responsibility and contact via a C100 form. Please also see link here.
SeparatedDads - 7-Jul-17 @ 10:05 AM
Alex - Your Question:
Hi Guys,Separated dad here.I have a new born daughter (5 weeks) - I was denied access to the birth, not involved in the naming process and asked to leave the house I was sharing with the ex (possible narcissistic personality disorder on the mum's part) as far as I'm aware, I'm not on the birth certificate but have recently been allowed some visits. If I mention anything remotely parental or the birth certificate then she will often get angry, so I walk on eggshells in order to keep some peace. I've had my mediation appointment but she was late to hers and it is now rearranged. The snag here is I am currently retraining on a none payed work placement and living with my parents until I have qualified- so if it goes to court, what are my chances? I'm asking for set contact and parental responsibility.obviously when I finish my studies and gain employment. It's a bit of a pickle and feels extremely unfair. Thanks in advance for any help and support. Good luck.

Our Response:
The fact you do not have much in the way of finances or income has no bearing on whether you should be allowed to see your child. If you cannot afford legal representation (if the matter has to go to court) then you can self-litigate, please see link here . In the first instance mediation needs to be explored, but if your ex refuses, then court is your next option in order to aply for PR and access. We can't predict what your chances are, but as long as there is no domestic violence or other issues involved then you should be awarded access. The court will always decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests.
SeparatedDads - 6-Jul-17 @ 12:34 PM
hi im thinking of representing myself in court for visitation im 19 years old and the mother of my child has never let me see him and im not on the birth certificate i currently am unemployed and not on any sort of benefits i have interviews with the royal navy lined up as a career goal but would rather resolve this matter before making that decision my son is currently 2 years and 7 months of age the mothers only grounds for not letting me see him is that i dumped her and that i was a former drug user (weed) she also use to take drugs with me when we were together any advice would be great
dan - 6-Jul-17 @ 8:59 AM
Hi Guys, Separated dad here... I have a new born daughter (5 weeks) - I was denied access to the birth, not involved in the naming process and asked to leave the house I was sharing with the ex (possible narcissistic personality disorder on the mum's part) as far as I'm aware, I'm not on the birth certificate but have recently been allowed some visits. If I mention anything remotely parental or the birth certificate then she will often get angry, so I walk on eggshells in order to keep some peace. I've had my mediation appointment but she was late to hers and it is now rearranged. The snag here is I am currently retraining on a none payed work placement and living with my parents until I have qualified-so if it goes to court, what are my chances? I'm asking for set contact and parental responsibility...obviously when I finish my studies and gain employment. It's a bit of a pickle and feels extremely unfair. Thanks in advance for any help and support. Good luck.
Alex - 5-Jul-17 @ 5:23 PM
Toad - Your Question:
Hello, I had a brief relationship. The girl got pregnant. She told me she didn't want anything from me or me to be involved since she had a new relationship and the new father would take the child on. Not wishing to have an argument (I am autistic) I relented. A year later she splits with her man. He is not on the Birth Certificate, nor am I. She then files for CMS. I request a DNA test (my legal rights). She sent a barrage of abuse. Now she has got her new boyfriend to get legal responsibility for the child, without my consent (court didn't need it - since I am not on the BC). I understand I must go ahead with CMS, though still awaiting to get a DNA test done (court authorised version). How does the parental rights of the new BF affect me?I feel she just wants cash, but to deny me any fathers rights. No rights no cash in my opinion. Any advice on what to do?

Our Response:
The 'no rights, no cash' philosophy might catch you out, meaning you are liable to pay child maintenance to your child by law if you are the biological father, regardless of whether you see or have PR of your child. Please also be aware that if you are proved to be the biological father and you have not been paying child maintenence to the mother from when she originally made the claim, you will be liable to pay arrears. However, if you are proved to be the father of your child, you can also apply for parental responsibility and/or contact with your child through the courts.
SeparatedDads - 16-Jun-17 @ 4:05 PM
Amieepoo - Your Question:
I have a 4 month old n she is almost 5 months old can he biological father have custody of a our daughter if his name isn't on the birth certificate n my ex boyfriend Allen name is on the birth certificate n her biological father wasn't there when she was born n he hasn't been there for her at all n my husband Justin has been there for her can he adopt my daughter Alison

Our Response:
A birth certificate is a legal document - making a false statement on it could be considered fraudulent. If the person who is not the father of your child is named on the birth certificate, then unless the child's biological father decides to take the matter to court, the father registered currently on the birth certificate is considered the child's biological father and therefore has parental responsibility of your child. If you wish for another person to adopt your child, you would have to ask permission from the person who is currently registered as the father. Please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jun-17 @ 3:18 PM
Hello my name is desunta in i been taken care of my baby girl londyn for 5 year's remind you I was able to work with her daddy without all the court's in I'll mess in plus DON'T get me wrong he does thing's for her but he gets upset about anything far as her not going with him all the time so i told him every other weekend she can go in he also not on the birth certificate DHS been involved cuz he has a background for getting pulled over with her in the car no drugs in the bag but it was residue from the bag inside the bag he's on papers as we speak sometimes I be afraid to let her go because of his background what should I do about this because now he wants to go to court but he is onpapers in also I'm sure he has background of other things what do you think they would do for him.
Deedee - 12-Jun-17 @ 3:00 PM
I have a 4 month old n she is almost 5 months old can he biological father have custody of a our daughter if his name isn't on the birth certificate n my ex boyfriend Allen name is on the birth certificate n her biological father wasn't there when she was born n he hasn't been there for her at all n my husband Justin has been there for her can he adopt my daughter Alison
Amieepoo - 10-Jun-17 @ 2:49 PM
If a fathers name is not on the birth certificate can you go on the death certificate ?
Rob - 4-Jun-17 @ 12:36 PM
Hello, I had a brief relationship. The girl got pregnant. She told me she didn't want anything from me or me to be involved since she had a new relationship and the new father would take the child on. Not wishing to have an argument (I am autistic) I relented. A year later she splits with her man. He is not on the Birth Certificate, nor am I. She then files for CMS. I request a DNA test (my legal rights). She sent a barrage of abuse. Now she has got her new boyfriend to get legal responsibility for the child, without my consent (court didn't need it - since I am not on the BC). I understand I must go ahead with CMS, though still awaiting to get a DNA test done (court authorised version). How does the parental rights of the new BF affect me? I feel she just wants cash, but to deny me any fathers rights. No rights no cash in my opinion. Any advice on what to do?
Toad - 2-Jun-17 @ 10:54 PM
Alex - Your Question:
Hi I have some 5 years old mother you don't wanna put my name but birth certificate What is best advice I have harassment charge From mother

Our Response:
You would have to apply to court for Parental Responsibility if the mother will not agree, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 1-Jun-17 @ 11:34 AM
HiI have some5 years oldmother you don't wanna put my name butbirth certificate What is best advice I haveharassment charge From mother
Alex - 31-May-17 @ 5:11 PM
Lea123 - Your Question:
My ex boyfriend isn't on the birth certificate, long story short basically we was arguing for a while after I had my little girl she is now nearly 6 months! He hasn't bought her anything one day we was arguing I wanted to get my baby out of the house away from the arguments he wouldn't let me, he ended up head butting me with our baby in he's arms! I have social services they said they will sort contact supervised. He is now saying he is taking me to court? What will the courts say?

Our Response:
We cannot predict what the courts may decide. However, it is likely Cafcass will get involved, please see link here. Much also depends upon what the result of the domestic violence was; i.e if you were injured, had to go to hospital, whether the police were involved and whether a Non-Molestation Order has been placed upon your ex.
SeparatedDads - 25-May-17 @ 10:11 AM
My ex boyfriend isn't on the birth certificate, long story short basically we was arguing for a while after I had my little girl she is now nearly 6 months! He hasn't bought her anything one day we was arguing I wanted to get my baby out of the house away from the arguments he wouldn't let me, he ended up head butting me with our baby in he's arms! I have social services they said they will sort contact supervised. He is now saying he is taking me to court? What will the courts say?
Lea123 - 24-May-17 @ 4:03 PM
Chas - Your Question:
Okay long story short. Im not going to talk bad nor judge. I got pregnant, left the father to go back to my ex. Started my doctor visits when I went back to my ex. The father and I texted back and fourth about his rights, visits and helping cash wise. I did tell him you can see her when she is born and so on. Money wise, I stated to use it towards his other kids he has. He didn't want to. I told him open a saving and put it there so when she does come to visit you have the money on hands. He said no. When she was born, yes shame on me on my end for not telling him I was giving birth. But when he did text, I told him he can come and see her. He asked for me to fly to him for him to see her. I told him no, you want to see her you can fly to her and see her. He got mad. At this moment I am not working and my partner is the one who supports me and my two kids. Now that my daughter is turning one next month he has the nerves to send 3 set of clothes and a baby book, and then have me serve with court papers a week later for his rights. Don't get me wrong but he had all this time to come and see her, now he wants to go through the courts. I understand to put his name on the birth certificate and have his rights be known. But where do I stand in all this, no sleep, doctors, dermatologist, wic, etc. Appt. Help in need of a talk. Im I'm new at this

Our Response:
All we can say is that every father has a right to apply for access, regardless. A court will always decide what it thinks is in the child's best interests - but it does want fathers to have a relationship with their child. Mutual negotiation is always preferable to court and court is seen as the last resort. However, if you contiinue to deny access, then court is his only options.
SeparatedDads - 22-May-17 @ 2:04 PM
Smithy - Your Question:
I'm not on my daughters birthcertificate. And my ex won't let me see her. She's even phoned the police saying that I was stalking/mitherin her haha so my question is were do I start and do I have a leg to stand on ?

Our Response:
In the first place you would have to suggest mediation to your ex. If she refuses, or the mediation process fails only then will you have the option to take the matter to court to apply for access to your daughter and/or parental responsibility. If you cannot afford legal representation you can self-litigate, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 22-May-17 @ 1:51 PM
Okay long story short. Im not going to talk bad nor judge. I got pregnant, left the father to go back to my ex. Started my doctor visits when I went back to my ex. The father and I texted back and fourth about his rights, visits and helping cash wise. I did tell him you can see her when she is born and so on. Money wise, I stated to use it towards his other kids he has. He didn't want to. I told him open a saving and put it there so when she does come to visit you have the money on hands. He said no. When she was born, yes shame on me on my end for not telling him I was giving birth. But when he did text, I told him he can come and see her. He asked for me to fly to him for him to see her. I told him no, you want to see her you can fly to her and see her. He got mad. At this moment I am not working and my partner is the one who supports me and my two kids. Now that my daughter is turning one next month he has the nerves to send 3 setof clothes and a baby book, and then have me serve with court papers a week later for his rights. Don't get me wrong but he had all this time to come and see her, now he wants to go through the courts. I understand to put his name on the birth certificate and have his rights be known. But where do i stand in all this, no sleep, doctors, dermatologist, wic, etc. Appt. Help in need of a talk. Im I'm new at this
Chas - 22-May-17 @ 3:54 AM
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