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What Rights do I have if I'm not on the Birth Certificate

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 27 Apr 2019 | comments*Discuss
 
Child Separation Parental Responsibility

Q.

I'm not on my son's birth certificate and his mother and I are separated. I'm now in a new relationship and have another child and one on the way.

The thing is my son is only five and no longer wants to live with his mother. My ex contacted me and told me to collect my son as she didn't want him anymore. She said all this in front of him and he was very upset and says he wants to live with me forever.

I'd just like to know how I stand as I'm not on his birth certificate.

(A.W, 14 September 2008)

A.

Essentially, the fact that your name isn’t on your birth certificate means you have no legal rights over your son, unless his mother allows it. If it were there, you’d have exactly the same rights as his mother and be able to make decisions about him.

So, as things stand, she could have him live with you, but she’d also have the right to demand that you return him at any time, and there’d be nothing you could really do about it, which isn’t good for either you or your son.

However, there is some good news. If both you and your ex sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and file it with the courts, you will have full parental rights over your son. If you can get your ex to agree to this, you should do it as soon as possible. That way, if your son does come to live with you and you ex demands his return, you have legal grounds for Contesting The Custody.

If she won’t sign, you could take the matter to court and apply for a Parental Responsibility Order (see our article on Your Separated Father's Rights), but it will generally only be given if the court believes it’s better than not granting an order.

You’d also be very well advised to have her put in writing that’s she giving you custody of your son. If not, she could feasibly turn around and say you snatched him. It might also be advisable to seek a Residence Order if your son comes to live with you. Seek legal advice first, as it may not be possible to get one.

If there is a problem further down the line, and your ex wants your son back, the court will try to take into account his wishes, too. Certainly a big rejection by his mother is a terrible thing, especially if she did it in front of him – so it’s understandable.

You didn’t mention if you’ve had contact with your son since you and your ex broke up. Nor do you mention how your current partner feels about the situation – which is important. Would she welcome your son into your new home? It’s important do discuss things fully with her and make sure you have her agreement.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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My son was born to another woman when I was married to my ex wife his mother named his paternal grandfather as his father knowing I am his father she then lied to him for the last 13 years about who I am every time I got close to him they would move and not say where they are now he knows she is being dishonest with him and saying I didn't want to know him as my son that's not the case all I ever wanted was to bond with my son and be in his life how do I do this legally
Baden - 27-Apr-19 @ 10:45 AM
I had csa contact me a while ago now and agreed I am the father of my 2 middle children but I am not on the birth certicates I have requested a DNA test by what I my legal rights if not on birth certicate if anyone knows please
Mj - 25-Apr-19 @ 10:50 PM
Hi me and my partner had split up we have been on good terms but she is refusing to let me put my name on birth certificate. Is there anyway that I can appeal against it to have my name put on it through court?
John - 1-Apr-19 @ 7:17 PM
@davidp.i am not smart men and I don’t know if my daughter is mine 100percent withouta DNA test .but once I seen her photo I new she was mine because I felt the love in my heart for her it just come out naturally .
Chris - 26-Mar-19 @ 8:24 AM
@davidp.i have a 14 teen year old daughter .i was harassing the mother and I could have caused trouble for her new relationship I said some (home truths )and wanted to know if I was the (father) .i was cautioned bye police to stop messaging her I was sent to court and was told only contact should be though a solicitor and with my daughters( age )I have decided to wait to she is a adult.
Chris - 26-Mar-19 @ 5:48 AM
My son is 7 months old, I was seeing him an hour and week until a month ago as police were involved no charges were made as my ex was harrassing me and causing problems in my new relationship as a result police have said I need to communicate via solicitor now. I’m not 100% the child is mine and I’m not on the birth certificate. Where do I stand legally? If I apply to court for a dna test what happens if the mum doesn’t turn up to court or refuses to do the test and says I’m not the dad. I have a feeling she will ignore all solicitor letters
Davidp - 26-Mar-19 @ 3:43 AM
Hi looking for advice on what to do about seeing my daughter even though I’m not on the birth certificate I make sure I pay child maintenance and want to be part of her life today I’ve found out that my ex has moved house after going there today and won’t tell me where she has moved to with my daughter any help would be much appreciated.
Nobby - 4-Mar-19 @ 4:55 PM
Hi ya I'm currently in a bit of a predicament meet my ex online and was together for five months and like and couples we had a good but the bad ones out weighted them we constantly argued and she did like me going out with people stopped me going to my firstchristsmas do and always seem to hate on some family andfriends and going to visiting family down. So inbetween all that found she was pregnant and during the sort time of know things end up in a row resulting in her hitting me and kicking me out of her house and and through the hole pregnancy we had heated arguments over stuff and yes I will 100% admit I didn't do much to help out due to her constantly 24/7 wanting to argue and her family getting stuff and I was starting to to be told by her that she did not wanting anything for my son no matter how much id offer and then to telling me she doesnt want no money towards anything need for him and eneded up missing most of the scans and birth and then kept my son's birth from me for nearly two to three till i requested a dna thru csa and come back it was mine we tried to be civil spent time with him last three weekends then things started to go same way and stills denies me to go on birth certificate and stopping me seeing him due to not wanting a relationship with his mum and not wanting to stay at hers over night as thinks was starting to get worse after we slept together telling me i cant do stuff with family like going holidays and some of Xmas with other family after seeing my son has to her it to much time away from him what can I do about some one please help me with some advice or push in the right direction to solve this
David24718 - 7-Dec-18 @ 8:32 PM
My baby mum stopped my contact with my daughter and plays with my head saying I can see her then I can't then I can 1 day we made up and she told me she does it bcos she's jelous of how close me and my daughter are when we are together I think its lies and I know its just same old revengful mothers so I'm on here to ask how do I get on the birth certificate and have my rights to take her out and have regualler contact and take her to see her family (myside) I have a flat but am currently unstable to run it and have food and electric ect. In it but I have family members that have a stable enviroment for me to be a dad and look after her and do parent dutys it destroys me more cos when I was young I got abused and neglected and soical services got called 10 times at least throught 8 years of my life or more and they never did anything where as now me a actual decent parent that wants to be the best ever when the baby was born soical services got involved and warned my baby mum to not give me contact and not put me on birth certificate but then closed the case but I can't get my daughter myself I need legal plans put in place I don't have a clue what to do I'm only 19 and don't have single grown daddy in my family that I know of for advice I only have two faced woman that will leave me to starve to death and will onlylook after me when they gain something they need or want like when I give them all my money from universal credit amd starve for a month and they let me stay a week b4 getting it then take it and say tht 4 my keep but iv gone way past the point I'm on here but ye
helpasap - 27-Nov-18 @ 12:20 AM
Me and my ex broke up two days after we found out we was pregnant. I tried to break up with him before we ever found out due to being controlling, accusing me of cheating and being possessive. He was horrible through my pregnancy by threatening to take me to court. He didn’t show any interest with my pregnancy either. My son is now 6 months old. The father at first was seeing him 3 times a week for a month but then stopped coming round. He’s not on the birth certificate and he hasn’t paid. He also was causing so much drama that put me into a deep depression. But now he wants to see him and start paying. Again he has threatened me with taking me to court. I don’t trust him as he does drugs and doesn’t listen to when it comes to my sons health and safety. I don’t know what to do. Do I let him start seeing his son or not after everything he’s done?
Popcical - 31-Oct-18 @ 4:53 PM
@louie.advice taking you are not my ex I have moved on many years ago .now I am troll for all these sites about this stuff because I never thought about my rights as a father when my was ex left .and now I now she withholds my daughter out of spite because I have read every god damn blog on the internet and this is what they are telling me .but in reality these blogs have been education and fun .
Lou is retiring . - 22-Oct-18 @ 11:22 AM
@chris Im not your ex I dont like a punch to the face Nor did my ex partner other childrens mothers who also have restrsing orders Move on you sound bitter at some one else
Louie - 22-Oct-18 @ 9:26 AM
I had my baby girl 4 months ago her dad cheated when i was 11 weeks pregnant he made my pregnancy hell to the point i was put in counciling so i didnt lose the baby, i had the baby and he got worse and become intimidating and abusive so i got a court order so he cant come near me, hes not on the birth certificate, but hes threatening to take me to court to gain access to my daughter but i dont want him to have her on his own as he frequently tries to commit suicide and has a criminal record or domestic violence against his other childrens mothers, can he gain access so he can have her on his own ? @chris What are the lies the criminal records or the mental health ones ?
Louie - 22-Oct-18 @ 9:20 AM
I had my baby girl 4 months ago her dad cheated when i was 11 weeks pregnant he made my pregnancy hell to the point i was put in counciling so i didnt lose the baby, i had the baby and he got worse and become intimidating and abusive so i got a court order so he cant come near me, hes not on the birth certificate, but hes threatening to take me to court to gain access to my daughter but i dont want him to have her on his own as he frequently tries to commit suicide and has a criminal record or domestic violence against his other childrens mothers, can he gain access so he can have her on his own ?
Louie - 21-Oct-18 @ 9:34 PM
My daughter is 7 years old and I have had regular contact with my daughter for the last 7 years. All of a sudden I am being denied access to my daughter. I am not on the birth certifcate. If I take my childs mother to court will I have stand a chance of getting any parental custody? I am and have been a good father figure for my daughter.
trav - 20-Oct-18 @ 11:09 AM
What responsibilities and rights does my son have with his son. His ex partner is refusing letting him see his son, he’s not named on the birth certificate and wants to but she won’t agree to amending it and he can’t get dna because she won’t let him see him. He pays her weekly for his son and as asked her to do mediation so in the event he can go down the court route, to which she’s refused. Any advice would be much appreciated.
M - 18-Oct-18 @ 4:02 PM
If dad not named on birth certificate . Can stepdad adopt
jennifer sutherland - 23-Aug-18 @ 5:12 PM
Mill - Your Question:
I'm due to have a baby boy on the 23rd December, His dad is controlling and we are no longer together. He turns up to appointments and that's about it. But he's saying I don't have a right to just move with our son. I'm also considering not putting him on the birth certificate. Can I get in trouble or fined if I do so?

Our Response:
You will not get fined or in trouble if you refuse to register the father of your child on the birth certificate. However, the father of your child will be able to apply to court, please see the link here.
SeparatedDads - 16-Aug-18 @ 2:59 PM
mug - Your Question:
Ive been in a relationship with my now ex partner for 15 year we had a daughter together at a very young age and she is now almost 14. in 2016 she had an affair with a much older man and as a result of this she fell pregnant with what I thought was mine. she lead me to believe he was mine up until December last year when I did DNA because I had dowts as he looked nothing like me or my daughter. soon as I found out I left the family home and went on a self distruct mission but now she has social serverces involved saying I was violent throughout our 15 year relationship which I most certainly was not. also my name is on neither of the birth certificates what can I do to get rights over my step son and daughter ?

Our Response:
The link here will help answer your question. If you have brought the boy up as your own then you will have rights to apply for access. If you have to apply to court, then as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 16-Aug-18 @ 2:54 PM
I'm due to have a baby boy on the 23rd December, His dad is controlling and we are no longer together. He turns up to appointments and that's about it. But he's saying I don't have a right to just move with our son. I'm also considering not putting him on the birth certificate. Can I get in trouble or fined if I do so?
Mill - 16-Aug-18 @ 11:24 AM
ive been in a relationship with my now ex partner for 15 year we had a daughter together at a very young age and she is now almost 14 .. in 2016 she had an affair with a much older man and as a result of this she fell pregnant with what I thought was mine .. she lead me to believe he was mine up until December last year when I did DNA because I had dowts as he looked nothing like me or my daughter .. soon as I found out I left the family home and went on a self distruct mission but now she has social serverces involved saying I was violent throughout our 15 year relationship which I most certainly was not .. also my name is on neither of the birth certificates what can I do to get rights over my step son and daughter ?
mug - 16-Aug-18 @ 10:23 AM
My son's ex girlfriend has just had their baby. We have no contact as she is ignoring all contact. They are both 16 and I was wondering how much it would cost to gain access, with his name left off the birth certificate.
Karlos - 15-Aug-18 @ 11:26 PM
@Claire- tell him to take you to court and block his number. It's very unlikely he will take you to court if he lived abroad, it would cost too much money.
FB - 13-Aug-18 @ 2:43 PM
A man I was seeing then fell pregnant (so not an ex) left to go to live in his home town abroad once I told him I was pregnant. He was disgusting to me via text when I told him I was pregnant I’ve saved the messages. He’s never tried to contact me then shows up at my mums house 2.5 years later demanding he sees his daughter. Before he left he was talking about his violent past that he has never been caught for no record etc which is why I obviously stopped seeing him back then but not actually knowing I was already pregnant. He now wants access but lives abroad. I gave him my number and now he won’t leave me alone saying he wants more children with me and to come and live in the uk I’m scared to death he’s going to try and take my daughter or even try to be put on the birth curtificate so he can take her He’s not on birth curtificate now what can I do he is no way a suitable parent he’s a great liar though so I’m sure he could convince anyone what a nice person he pretends to be What can I do to stop all of this?
Claire - 10-Aug-18 @ 10:47 AM
@kay - he would have to contact social services to see what he should do and what the situation is first.
GregM - 9-Aug-18 @ 11:13 AM
my partner had 2 children whilst in a previous relationship, he was never put on the birth certificate and once the relationship was over was denied any access to the children and with no parental rights everything seems to be against him. he is now trying his hardest once again to do what he can to get involved, ....however he has since found out that eh children were removed from the mother and placed into care does anyone know if there is anything my partner can do to at least get some form of contact with his children?
kay - 8-Aug-18 @ 2:50 PM
thumper - Your Question:
I have been told a child is mine and been contacted by csa. no dna or contact with child since birth and I am not on birth certificate. how is it that if im not on birth cert I now have to be responsible parent and pay for this child

Our Response:
The link here, should help answer your question. If you are not on the birth certificate but wish to apply, please see the link here. If you wish to apply for access, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 26-Jul-18 @ 3:36 PM
i have been told a child is mine and been contacted by csa. no dna or contact with child since birth and i am not on birth certificate. how is it that if im not on birth cert i now have to be responsible parent and pay for this child
thumper - 24-Jul-18 @ 7:41 PM
Jake - Your Question:
My girlfriend won’t let me see my daughter and she hasn’t put my name on my daughters birth certificate. Is there any way I can get a d.n.a done to prove she’s mine ?

Our Response:
The link here , should tell you all you need to know. If your ex will not let you see your child, please see the link here which will tell you all you should know about taking the matter further (if you feel you are the father, but not named on the birth certificate). You can also apply for PR, if the child is yours, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 17-Jul-18 @ 10:28 AM
My girlfriend won’t let me see my daughter and she hasn’t put my name on my daughters birth certificate . Is there any way I can get a d.n.a done to prove she’s mine ?
Jake - 16-Jul-18 @ 11:30 AM
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