The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.
Conditions For Father’s Custody
However, there are times when a judge will look very favourably on a father’s application for custody. Where the mother has a history of addiction to drink or drugs or an extensive history of binge drinking, which you can prove, there’s a good chance you’ll be given custody. There are solid reasons for this, since addicts often turn to crime to feed their habits, which can put the child in situations that aren’t good as he or she grows.
The courts take a similar attitude where the mother has a criminal record, at least if it’s a reasonably extensive one showing her to be a repeat offender. That applies whether she’s in jail or not (there are instances where mothers in jail can keep very young children with them, but those are few and far between).
The mother might be considered physically or emotionally incapable of raising a child. That might be due to a physical handicap, or it could be emotional instability. In those cases, the father would be given custody.
Similarly, where there’s been emotional or physical abuse of the child by the mother, and it can be proven, then the father will definitely receive custody. Sadly, abuse rates by mothers have been on the increase.
Finally, if the mother is deemed to have abandoned her children, the father will receive custody. Abandoned is classed as not being in communication with a child for a set period, whether by mail, phone, physical contact or email. Also, if she leaves with a new partner and has no contact with the children, or if she neglects the children when they’re in her care, then custody will devolve to the father.
Your Rights
When you have custody, you have the same rights as a mother with custody, and the mother would have Visitation Rights with the children (of course, there might be circumstances when she might be denied access). Be sure you obey the contact order fully.
Something to be aware of is that the mother can later petition the court to have the residence order changed, if she’s cleaned up her act and can prove herself to be upstanding and likely to be a good parent. Sadly, there’s a fair chance she might win, although the courts will take the wishes of the children into account.
You’d do right to feel that everything is more fragile than if you were female, since it probably is. She can always come back with her lawyer.
My kids have temporarily been removed by dhr because I went through a depressive state and attempted suicide. my sons father is taking me to court for visitation / custody he has been in contact with his son but at times he would beat me in front of his son and has a record of d.v against me and a drug charge I am very afraid of him my kids are still away under dhr but still in my custody, I am better now and taking meds for depression. will the judge grant him custody.
chelle - 24 November 2011 @ 3:49 AM
I was divorced in 2002 and gained sole custody of both sons - there was an access order but the ex wife never turned up at all (I informed the court).I put in a claim to the CSA and even supplied them with her accounts for 2 years as she is self employed clearly showing her earning £500 each week on her own and not including her new partner's income. My claim was turned down as she stated that she only earns £42.50 a week (even though she owns 2 properties - 1 she rents out ( joint value is over £500,000). Obviously all she has said is a pack of lies and only the CSA could believe her. Is there any way I can claim back off her what she should of been paying for the last 10 years.
Graham - 31 July 2011 @ 6:35 PM
My ex wife has custody of my two children. I have access to them every other weekend. We have found out from my daughter and family members who read Facebook that she swears and hits my daughter also she has even gone so low as to only feed them bread and butter for their dinner. This weekend is meant to be my weekend with the children but we could not pick them up from school on the Friday I told her this on the Monday prior to the Friday. She came back with I am busy this weekend I have prior arrangements that cannot be changed, you (ie me) have Parental responsibility to pick them up and she will not change her mind. If I managed to find a way to pick them up on Friday how would I stand with not taking them back to her on the Monday?
Dave - 13 July 2011 @ 7:21 AM
I split up with my ex partner 3 years ago. We have a 5 year old daughter together. I stopped him from seeing our daughter because he was unfit, still is. Well he took me to court & he got a contact order so he could see her. Wasn't happy about this but it was out of my hands. I am very concerned for my daughters welfare while she is in his care, she isn't looked after properly. I am more concerned about her being around the fathers girlfriend. She's a nutter. Her family are all nutters. Need my daughter well away from them all. How do I get full custody of my daughter??
MommyOf3 - 12 June 2011 @ 12:32 PM
I hope everything works out for you TimT.
Pete - 3 June 2011 @ 10:16 PM
Recently I've had my children placed with me by social services it seems that mother had been regularly physically abusing them with various implements. The latest was particularly horrific which resulted in my children being hospitalised and then giving video testimony to the police. She's bailed on suspicion of assualt and case has been referred to the CPS. Would be interesting to see if she pays me maintenance (albeit at a lower rate) first of every month, but although she earns more than me she's self employed and a creative accountant :o(. Difference between us (and I'd guess with many Dads?) is I'd happily have custody of my children and not want a penny from her. The important thing is that they seem happy and are at an age where time should see them recover and the fear in their faces ease when they do anything wrong :O)
