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Your Rights if You Win Custody of Your Children

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 23 Sep 2016 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Custody Residence Order

The important fact to remember is that, in the majority of cases, the father will not be granted custody of the child by the courts. Individuals and groups have complained about this bias of the courts for several years, but it’s simply a fact that unless the circumstances are exceptional, the child or children will stay with their mother under a residence order, and you will be able to see them with a Contact Order.

Conditions For Father’s Custody

However, there are times when a judge will look very favourably on a father’s application for custody. Where the mother has a history of addiction to drink or drugs or an extensive history of binge drinking, which you can prove, there’s a good chance you’ll be given custody. There are solid reasons for this, since addicts often turn to crime to feed their habits, which can put the child in situations that aren’t good as he or she grows.

The courts take a similar attitude where the mother has a criminal record, at least if it’s a reasonably extensive one showing her to be a repeat offender. That applies whether she’s in jail or not (there are instances where mothers in jail can keep very young children with them, but those are few and far between).

The mother might be considered physically or emotionally incapable of raising a child. That might be due to a physical handicap, or it could be emotional instability. In those cases, the father would be given custody.

Similarly, where there’s been emotional or physical abuse of the child by the mother, and it can be proven, then the father will definitely receive custody. Sadly, abuse rates by mothers have been on the increase.

Finally, if the mother is deemed to have abandoned her children, the father will receive custody. Abandoned is classed as not being in communication with a child for a set period, whether by mail, phone, physical contact or email. Also, if she leaves with a new partner and has no contact with the children, or if she neglects the children when they’re in her care, then custody will devolve to the father.

Your Rights

When you have custody, you have the same rights as a mother with custody, and the mother would have Visitation Rights with the children (of course, there might be circumstances when she might be denied access). Be sure you obey the contact order fully.

Something to be aware of is that the mother can later petition the court to have the residence order changed, if she’s cleaned up her act and can prove herself to be upstanding and likely to be a good parent. Sadly, there’s a fair chance she might win, although the courts will take the wishes of the children into account.

You’d do right to feel that everything is more fragile than if you were female, since it probably is. She can always come back with her lawyer.

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Isaacsdad - Your Question:
Hello,I am a single dad that really wants to get parental responsibility taken away from my ex, and for my 3 yr old son to come and live with me.My ex is an alcoholic and drinks every day, and even as I write this, she is stumbling about in the kitchen after just coming home from the pub.She lives in a nice house that is paid for by benefits, she also gets maintenence money from me every month without fail! Meanwhile I work part time as a school caretaker, and am technically homeless. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and have to use a food bank as I cant afford to eat.I see my son twice a day, between shifts and again after work.My son is a very bright and happy boy, but I feel he would have a much better upbringing in my care. His mother is constantly swearing and it really upsets me to hear him copying her disgusting language. My ex's mother and 2 sisters are extremely helpful, and love him very much. They take him out on trips, provide dinners and drinks, and treat him like a little prince, while his mum uses her free time to either go out drinking with her other alcoholic friends or she will drink at home.I have recently gone back to work after taking many months off, battling with depression.Please can you help me?

Our Response:
We have answered this question further down the page. There is no change to our previous advice.
SeparatedDads - 23-Sep-16 @ 2:17 PM
Princess1 - Your Question:
I left my Husband a few months back, we have a 22 month old. I left due to all the arguing and fights I don't want my daughter to be bought up in that. So made the decision to leave with my daughter. Since then he's missed 2 cma payments and also trying to file for full residence saying I drink to excess.!! Which is not true. I work full time and daughter goes to nursery and loves it, she is very advanced for her age, happy and healthy. He has not really had any input in her life as to me he's not that interested. Since we spilt up he never asked how she was or for any contact. I had a non molestation order put on him, but even before that there was no asking for contact or how she was. Even now he hasn't even bothered to contact any of my family to see how she is. Nothing.! I have filed for full residence aswell. Is there a chance he will get it??I feel he is doing it because I left him and he knows that's the one thing that will hurt me.

Our Response:
It is highly unlikely the courts would hand your child over to the other parent unless considered absolutely necessary. The court will always rule for what is in your child's best interests and stability and consistency are of upmost importance.
SeparatedDads - 23-Sep-16 @ 11:20 AM
Hello, I am a single dad thatreally wants to get parental responsibility taken away from my ex, and for my 3 yr old son to come and live with me. My ex is an alcoholic and drinks every day, and even as i write this, she is stumbling about in the kitchen after just coming home from the pub. She lives in a nice house that is paid for by benefits, she also gets maintenence money from me every month without fail! Meanwhile I work part time as a school caretaker, and am technically homeless. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and have to use a food bank as i cant afford to eat. I see my son twice a day, between shifts and again after work. My son is a very bright and happy boy, but i feel he would have a much better upbringing in my care. His mother is constantly swearing and it really upsets me to hear him copying her disgusting language. My ex's mother and 2 sisters are extremely helpful, and love him very much. They take him out on trips, provide dinners and drinks, and treat him like a little prince, while his mum uses her free time to either go out drinking with her other alcoholic friends or she will drink at home. I have recently gone back to work after taking many months off, battling with depression. Please can you help me?
Isaacsdad - 23-Sep-16 @ 9:55 AM
I left my Husband a few months back, we have a 22 month old. I left due to all the arguing and fights i don't want my daughter to be bought up in that. So made the decision to leave with my daughter. Since then he's missed 2 cma payments and also trying to file for full residence saying I drink to excess.!! Which is not true. I work full time and daughter goes to nursery and loves it, she is very advanced for her age, happy and healthy. He has not really had any input in her life as to me he's not that interested. Since we spilt up he never asked how she was or for any contact. I had a non molestation order put on him, but even before that there was no asking for contact or how she was. Even now he hasn't even bothered to contact any of my family to see how she is... Nothing.! I have filed for full residence aswell. Is there a chance he will get it?? I feel he is doing it because I left him and he knows that's the one thing that will hurt me.
Princess1 - 22-Sep-16 @ 11:09 AM
I separated from my daughters dad 3 years ago the reason why we separated was because of continuous domestic violence towards me which still continued Even after we had our daughter. I have called the police on him many times before last case being January 2015 which went to court but I closed the case because I was mentally not ready to face court for charge against him attacking me. Now there is many police records of this abuse. He is now telling me he will apply for joint custody of our daughter baring in mind he barely provides any Maintenace for our daughter since we split. He's visits are not regular and he blames me saying I am bitter and stop his visitation. I stop them because he will not compromise on collection of our daughter and I feel like I constantly have to go out of my way to make it easy for him. He has he's own address which is not suitable for my child to stay at. So does visit at his mums house. He is now agreeing to a fixed visitation schedule and regular maintenance so kn 6 montb he will apply with this evidence. My question is now how likely is it they will grant him joint custody on this basis. What is it that would be likely to happen.
Unsuremummy - 21-Sep-16 @ 11:44 PM
PP - Your Question:
My partner would one day like to have his children from his previous relationship living with us full time, something I completely agree with him on. the children stay with us every weekend from Friday after school to Sunday night, during school holidays they stay with us from Wednesday afternoon to Sunday night. Mainly so we can spend more time with them and also so we cant be blasted by the mother for not helping. The mother survives on benefits and cash in hand jobs along with the maintenance we pay her. She has never stayed in the same property for more than 18 months constantly falling out with landlords and getting debts to that address. This was part of the reason for their relationship ending. The kids have stayed with us for months before whilst she was homeless and we managed perfectly well. We both work full time in stable jobs, and have a full support network around us of family and friends. The mother currently has partner on his way out of prison for drugs, known to be a heavy drinker and drug user. He will be living with the children on his release. one of the kids has already expressed his desire to live with us although being young we haven't taken it as gospel. We are making plans for him to spend more time with us though. Based on this what are my partners chances of getting custody so the children will live with us in what we consider a safer more stable environment?

Our Response:
This is a very tricky question to answer as it is dependent upon many factors. First of all, you don't say how old the children are as if they are teenagers, they would have more of a say if the matter went to court (I imagine it is unlikely the mother would willingly hand the children over to you). However, despite all you say regarding the children's upbringing it is unlikely a court would make a decision to change the residency of the children unless there was a very good reason for doing so and a reason that you can prove. Drinking, drug taking, moving frequently aren't actually reasons unless the children are suffering some sort of abuse as a result i.e neglect, violence etc. While the mother may be far from perfect, it does not mean the children are not loved and cared for. The court will always decides on what it thinks is in the best interests of the children. Therefore, legal advice may be useful here to see whether you have a case.
SeparatedDads - 15-Sep-16 @ 11:05 AM
Isaacsdad - Your Question:
Hello,I am a single dad that really wants to get parental responsibility taken away from my ex, and for my 3 yr old son to come and live with me.My ex is an alcoholic and drinks every day, and even as I write this, she is stumbling about in the kitchen after just coming home from the pub.She lives in a nice house that is paid for by benefits, she also gets maintenence money from me every month without fail! Meanwhile I work part time as a school caretaker, and am technically homeless. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and have to use a food bank as I cant afford to eat.I see my son twice a day, between shifts and again after work.My son is a very bright and happy boy, but I feel he would have a much better upbringing in my care. His mother is constantly swearing and it really upsets me to hear him copying her disgusting language. My ex's mother and 2 sisters are extremely helpful, and love him very much. They take him out on trips, provide dinners and drinks, and treat him like a little prince, while his mum uses her free time to either go out drinking with her other alcoholic friends or she will drink at home.I have recently gone back to work after taking many months off, battling with depression.Please can you help me?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. However, it is highly unlikely a court would take away parental responsibility from one parent, and/or take away custody for no good reason. In order for this to happen, you would have to prove your ex was seriously neglecting your child. While your ex may be an alcoholic, and not perfect, she may still be a caring and loving parent to your child and provide your son with a close-knit home life in association with her mother and sisters. The definition of neglect is very different to what you may imagine is neglect, please see NSPCC link here. It is also highly unlikely you would get a residence order if you are 'technically homeless' in debt, using a foodbank and can't afford to eat. The court will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child, and living in this environment is also far from ideal. You have a good amount of access to your son, which many fathers don't have, therefore I can only suggest you do all you can to continue and build upon this relationship and work to get your own life back under control. This is by far the best course of action you can try to take which will benefit the relationship of both you and your son. Seeking advice for your depression may also help you be able to look more positively towards the future and in turn closely help and be supportive of your son as much as possible.
SeparatedDads - 14-Sep-16 @ 2:00 PM
My partner would one day like to have his children from his previous relationship living with us full time, something I completely agree with him on. the children stay with us every weekend from Friday after school to Sunday night, during school holidays they stay with us from Wednesday afternoon to Sunday night. Mainly so we can spend more time with them and also so we cant be blasted by the mother for not helping. The mother survives on benefits and cash in hand jobs along with the maintenance we pay her. She has never stayed in the same property for more than 18 months constantly falling out with landlords and getting debts to that address. This was part of the reason for their relationship ending. The kids have stayed with us for months before whilst she was homeless and we managed perfectly well. We both work full time in stable jobs, and have a full support network around us of family and friends. The mother currently has partner on his way out of prison for drugs, known to be a heavy drinker and drug user. He will be living with the children on his release. one of the kids has already expressed his desire to live with us although being young we haven't taken it as gospel. We are making plans for him to spend more time with us though. Based on this what are my partners chances of getting custody so the children will live with us in what we consider a safer more stable environment?
PP - 14-Sep-16 @ 1:32 PM
Dad16 - Your Question:
I'm having thoughts of leaving my partner due to her still being in love with her ex (who she would rather be with instead of myself and has said this but I worry for the safety of our daughter because of the bias of courts). I'm curious onto how I would gain custody of our 8 week old daughter.she is on formula so there is no attachment to breast milk.the mother is mentally unstable and has self harmed on over 20 occasions before, before she became pregnant she was an alcoholic and drug addict. she was in care under a child protection act and was in constant run ins with the police.I couldn't bare to see my daughter being unsafe with her but do not want social services involved again, due to my partners past social services were involved for the first 7 months of the pregnancy.my first question - how would I be able to get the proof of these actions?my second question - how would this fair in court ?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Once you leave your family home and your child you will lose a lot of your parenting rights by immediately becoming the non-resident parent. This will make it more difficult for you to gain custody. By becoming the NRP, your access to your child will then depend upon how your now partner approaches the situation, if she grants it, then fine, but if she refuses then you may have a fight to regain even contact to your child. As it stands now you have equal parenting rights to your child, so, you may not wish to make and hasty decisions and stop to think what is in the best interests of your daughter. Before you leave I would certainly suggest taking legal advice in order to explore your options and which will help answer your questions. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 14-Sep-16 @ 9:51 AM
Hello, I am a single dad thatreally wants to get parental responsibility taken away from my ex, and for my 3 yr old son to come and live with me. My ex is an alcoholic and drinks every day, and even as i write this, she is stumbling about in the kitchen after just coming home from the pub. She lives in a nice house that is paid for by benefits, she also gets maintenence money from me every month without fail! Meanwhile I work part time as a school caretaker, and am technically homeless. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and have to use a food bank as i cant afford to eat. I see my son twice a day, between shifts and again after work. My son is a very bright and happy boy, but i feel he would have a much better upbringing in my care. His mother is constantly swearing and it really upsets me to hear him copying her disgusting language. My ex's mother and 2 sisters are extremely helpful, and love him very much. They take him out on trips, provide dinners and drinks, and treat him like a little prince, while his mum uses her free time to either go out drinking with her other alcoholic friends or she will drink at home. I have recently gone back to work after taking many months off, battling with depression. Please can you help me?
Isaacsdad - 13-Sep-16 @ 10:26 PM
i'm having thoughts of leaving my partner due to her still being in love with her ex (who she would rather be with instead of myself and has said this but I worry for the safety of our daughter because of the bias of courts). i'm curious onto how I would gain custody of our 8 week old daughter. she is on formula so there is no attachment to breast milk. the mother is mentally unstable and has self harmed on over 20 occasions before, before she became pregnant she was an alcoholic and drug addict. she was in care under a child protection act and was in constant run ins with the police. I couldn't bare to see my daughter being unsafe with her but do not want social services involved again, due to my partners past social services were involved for the first 7 months of the pregnancy. my first question - how would I be able to get the proof of these actions? my second question - how would this fair in court ?
Dad16 - 13-Sep-16 @ 3:39 PM
Jason - Your Question:
Hi my ex and I have joint custody of the children. They are supposed to live with her, but she left them with her parents to work in another town. She can apparently not afford to keep them with her. With my child support money she earns about R 20 000. What is the chances of me getting them to come and live with me. I want them to live with me. She wants me to pay her more money then she will take them with her. I already pay R6000 for a 8 and 6 year old. I cannot pay more, but can afford to take them with me.What can I do and what is my chances of getting them

Our Response:
Unfortunately, we cannot answer your question as we are a UK-based website with knowledge of UK only family law. You would need to seek legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 7-Sep-16 @ 11:03 AM
Hi my ex and I have joint custody of the children. They are supposed to live with her, but she left them with her parents to work in another town. She can apparently not afford to keep them with her. With my child support money she earns about R 20 000. What is the chances of me getting them to come and live with me. I want them to live with me. She wants me to pay her more money then she will take them with her. I already pay R6000 for a 8 and 6 year old. I cannot pay more, but can afford to take them with me.What can I do and what is my chances of getting them
Jason - 6-Sep-16 @ 12:41 PM
I broke up with the mother of my child about 3 years ago. I pay child support etc etc. I have several concerns. 1. The money I send isn't going on my son. The mother still lives at home and it's her mom who is seemingly paying for things. 2. My ex is unemployed and having breast implants lip implants. This all started a few years back when she had just met a man and within a month her had paid for the surgery and trips abroad (sounds like prostitution to me)). 3. My ex is now with a man more that 30 years older (she is 30) and again he is paying for all these holidays and he is around my son which of course I have serious concerns over. 4. She is rarely with my son as she is always around his house or abroad. 5. I initially wanted custody of my son but my ex just wouldn't listen. Now as her mom is pretty much raising him she is dictating terms of contact etc. 6. My ex is extremely mentally unstable and regularly goes into fits of rage but as far as I am aware hasn't been convicted or been diagnosed with anything despite me suggesting she should get "checked out" for any mental conditions. Please help
Concerneddad - 25-Aug-16 @ 4:31 PM
I broke up with the mother of my child about 3 years ago. I pay child support etc etc. I have several concerns. 1. The money I send isn't going on my son. The mother still lives at home and it's her mom who is seemingly paying for things. 2. My ex is unemployed and having breast implants lip implants. This all started a few years back when she had just met a man and within a month her had paid for the surgery and trips abroad (sounds like prostitution to me)). 3. My ex is now with a man more that 30 years older (she is 30) and again he is paying for all these holidays and he is around my son which of course I have serious concerns over. 4. She is rarely with my son as she is always around his house or abroad. 5. I initially wanted custody of my son but my ex just wouldn't listen. Now as her mom is pretty much raising him she is dictating terms of contact etc. 6. My ex is extremely mentally unstable and regularly goes into fits of rage but as far as I am aware hasn't been convicted or been diagnosed with anything despite me suggesting she should get "checked out" for any mental conditions. Please help
Concerneddad - 25-Aug-16 @ 4:30 PM
I broke up with the mother of my child about 3 years ago. I pay child support etc etc. I have several concerns. 1. The money I send isn't going on my son. The mother still lives at home and it's her mom who is seemingly paying for things. 2. My ex is unemployed and having breast implants lip implants. This all started a few years back when she had just met a man and within a month her had paid for the surgery and trips abroad (sounds like prostitution to me)). 3. My ex is now with a man more that 30 years older (she is 30) and again he is paying for all these holidays and he is around my son which of course I have serious concerns over. 4. She is rarely with my son as she is always around his house or abroad. 5. I initially wanted custody of my son but my ex just wouldn't listen. Now as her mom is pretty much raising him she is dictating terms of contact etc. 6. My ex is extremely mentally unstable and regularly goes into fits of rage but as far as I am aware hasn't been convicted or been diagnosed with anything despite me suggesting she should get "checked out" for any mental conditions. Please help
MrConcerned - 25-Aug-16 @ 4:29 PM
Dad89 - Your Question:
The mother of my child is getting investigated for benefit fraud for the last three years and has risked my sons home by her actions I dont think shes stable and gives me my son in second hand clothes that dont even fit and is more concerned about saving to go raves than spending it on my son. Hes on amber at nursary because hes very emotional and his mums got high anxiety diagnosed also severe depression and has stopped contact because I told her about her behaviour I also know she smokes weed not around my son and have proof shes using my son against me. She also sent me a message when I said shes playing god and her word in text ( I am god when it comes to my son and she can pick and choose when she wants and if she wants to let me see him) and now shes stopped contact shes turned down mediation but I think im a more stable consistant parent than her. Anything I say she takes as im calling her a bad mum due to her anxiety problem and others n she snaps at my boy and iv seen him every weekend forever and know her choice to stop me is breaking my boys heart. She has stated I can see him as soon as I take her court but this is while im waiting emotionally destressing my boy so think I may have to go for full custody until she is more stable? Iv had my flat 7years and am my mothers carer n shes a benefit fraud using my son to get at me n I think its wrong shall I go for contact or full custody if so what are my options?

Our Response:
Regardless of your list of the mother's failings, there is the mother's side of the story too and should you take the matter to court, both sides would invariably be heard. The most important consideration for the courts is the welfare of your child. However, unless your child has come to harm or there is a threat of harm or neglect whilst in the care of his mother, the courts are unlikely to move a child from one parent to another unless absolutely necessary. As unfair as it may seem, smoking cannabis, snapping at your son, sending him out in second-hand clothes and your ex's anxiety and depression are not necessarily reasons enough for a court to change your child's residence. Therefore, before you apply for custody I suggest you seek legal advice to see whether you may have a case, or whether applying for straight access may be the better route.
SeparatedDads - 23-Aug-16 @ 12:00 PM
The mother of my child is getting investigated for benefit fraud for the last three years and has risked my sons home by her actions i dont think shes stable and gives me my son in second hand clothes that dont even fit and is more concerned about saving to go raves than spending it on my son. Hes on amber at nursary because hes very emotional and his mums got high anxiety diagnosed also severe depression and has stopped contact because i told her about her behaviour i also know she smokes weed not around my son and have proof shes using my son against me. She also sent me a message when i said shes playing god and her word in text ( i am god when it comes to my son and she can pick and choose when she wants and if she wants to let me see him) and now shes stopped contact shes turned down mediation but i think im a more stable consistant parent than her. Anything i say she takes as im calling her a bad mum due to her anxiety problem and others n she snaps at my boy and iv seen him every weekend forever and know her choice to stop me is breaking my boys heart. She has stated i can see him as soon as i take her court but this is while im waiting emotionally destressing my boy so think i may have to go for full custody until she is more stable?Iv had my flat 7years and am my mothers carer n shes a benefit fraud using my son to get at me n i think its wrong shall i go for contact or full custody if so what are my options?
Dad89 - 22-Aug-16 @ 5:19 PM
Hi I need some advice we currently have my partners 2 children as his ex mother of the kids is on the at risk register for neglect and social visits often etc she stopped my partner for 4 years of there life and now March this year she let us see them again but they are very badly dirty and not well kept this week now social have asked her to remove the children to us as her house was that bad dirtiness etc even though they give her 24 hours to clean she didn't do it to the standard they asked. they could not stay but we have now told them as the children are that bad when they visit we won't be taking them home on what grounds or rights now do we have as she has neglected these children for so long and the at risk register isn't something I know is taken lightly we know we can give them a better life but we need to know where we stand we don't want them going home to that not being fed clothed or bathed its pretty sad but she clearly isn't coping she has 4 two are my partners and the other two are with there fathers who are also refusing to send them home also any advice will help thanks
Webbzy92 - 30-Jul-16 @ 2:18 AM
I had been in a relationship with a man " a priest" for 9yrs living like husband and wife,we have a son aged 7yrs.three month ago ,a woman came in claiming that i have snatched his husband and he has 3 children with him.now he has left us behind with nothing after he was foundwith me.lately,i came to find that the woman is livingcomfortably,that is have a home and a business whereas living a rental house and am a casual laborer.my son is in class 1.i cant afford rent and school fees because my husband was taking care of everything.what step am i supposed to take for my ex to takethe responsibility of a child?
Archangel - 29-Jul-16 @ 2:55 PM
Wizard2k - Your Question:
Hi my ex partner and I have recently gone through court to get a order for me to see my child this order includes for me to pick my daughter up and return her to the mothers residence however she has decided her life now is in Birmingham which I don't mind has she has never stopped me seeing my daughter but has refused to give me her address is she allowed to to that as I currently have to meet her at a certain place

Our Response:
Your ex partner does not have to give you her address, if she chooses not to.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jul-16 @ 2:20 PM
Hi my ex partner and I have recently gone through court to get a order for me to see my child this order includes for me to pick my daughter up and return her to the mothers residence however she has decided her life now is in Birmingham which I don't mind has she has never stopped me seeing my daughter but has refused to give me her address is she allowed to tothat as I currently have to meet her at a certain place
Wizard2k - 16-Jul-16 @ 7:33 PM
Hi there I need some advice. My ex partner and I have a 10 month old girl and have recently split. She allows me to see my daughter but only when she is present. Do I have any rights to be able to have my daughter on my own and to stay over at mine. It is extremely frustrating that I don't have any quality time on my own with her. I looknow forward to your response.
Leec - 18-Jun-16 @ 10:19 PM
Tachuela - Your Question:
I would like to know if I can take the custody of my Children from my ex-wife, I have a 15 year old, an 11 year old both boys and 1 little girl who is 8 years old.My current situation is that the mother never take care of their needs as she's supposed to, she does not wash their cloths, she doesn't cook, she's always in doctor's appointments, she wants to force my kids to go to Church which is nothing wrong with that except the way she's handling it, yesterday she spanked my 11 year old because he refused to give up his cell phone, she want it to take it because he did not want to go to Church, this morning my kids called and told me that they have no food and that they only ate popcorn all day, this is something that is happening since I was married to her however my kids did not suffer because I was there, she es Bipolar (Diagnosed by a Doctor) and have this moments where she only wants to be in bed while the kids are in the living room without anyone to take care of them. Please help me I'm desperate about this situation. Thank you I need legal advise before I proceed.

Our Response:
Please see link: here which should help you further. However, it is never a good idea to keep your children without your ex's consent as this can backfire.
SeparatedDads - 14-Jun-16 @ 2:37 PM
I would like to know if I can take the custody of my Children from my ex-wife, I have a 15 year old, an 11 year old both boys and 1 little girl who is 8 years old. My current situation is that the mother never take care of their needs as she's supposed to, she does not wash their cloths, she doesn't cook, she's always in doctor's appointments, she wants to force my kids to go to Church which is nothing wrong with that except the way she's handling it, yesterday she spanked my 11 year old because he refused to give up his cell phone, she want it to take it because he did not want to go to Church, this morning my kids called and told me that they have no food and that they only ate popcorn all day, this is something that is happening since I was married to her however my kids did not suffer because I was there, she es Bipolar (Diagnosed by a Doctor) and have this moments where she only wants to be in bed while the kids are in the living room without anyone to take care of them. Please help me I'm desperate about this situation. Thank you I need legal advise before I proceed.
Tachuela - 13-Jun-16 @ 11:55 PM
I would like to know if I can take the custody of my Children from my ex-wife, I have a 15 year old, an 11 year old both boys and 1 little girl who is 8 years old. My current situation is that the mother never take care of their needs as she's supposed to, she does not wash their cloths, she doesn't cook, she's always in doctor's appointments, she wants to force my kids to go to Church which is nothing wrong with that except the way she's handling it, yesterday she spanked my 11 year old because he refused to give up his cell phone, she want it to take it because he did not want to go to Church, this morning my kids called and told me that they have no food and that they only ate popcorn all day, this is something that is happening since I was married to her however my kids did not suffer because I was there, she es Bipolar (Diagnosed by a Doctor) and have this moments where she only wants to be in bed while the kids are in the living room without anyone to take care of them. Please help me I'm desperate about this situation. Thank you I need legal advise before I proceed.
Tachuela - 13-Jun-16 @ 10:31 PM
I want to have a full custody of my son. He's 9 years old man. His mother is staying here in bloemfontein with her partner. My son is staying with her parents at the village. I'm also staying with my finance and planning to get married son and we have no kids together. The family of my sons mother refuses to let me see or do anything for my son.I'm not allowed to see him nd no one can give me a valied explanation. I just wanna be the father to him and see to his everydays needs but I can't. How do I go about applying for the fully custody or taking care of him permanently? Please advice. This is killing me. Kind regards
thiza - 10-Jun-16 @ 5:54 PM
Danny - Your Question:
Hi I'm leaving my partner because her attitude changes from day to day. We have a six month old daughter and I wanted full custody of her because I've seen the way she is with the oldest two children that she has got. She can be very nasty to the oldest one. And with me working six days a week I can't be here to see what she does. She would rather be on her mobile phone and watching telly rather than communicating and playing with the children. If I was granted full custody I would live with my mom and dad/ my six month old daughters grand parents. If you could give me advise I'd appreciate it. Thank you

Our Response:
It is very rare that a court will change the residency of a child from one parent to another unless absolutely necessary. Therefore, if your possibly soon to be ex becomes the primary carer of your child, then it is likely this arrangement will continue. You have a couple of options; either you can agree with your ex mutally that you will become the primary carer/resident parent of your child. Or you could agree with your partner that you both share the care of your child. If you cannot agree between yourselves then you should either suggest mediation in order to sort the matter out, and if your partner refuses, or mediation fails, then you would have the option to take the matter to court.
SeparatedDads - 8-Jun-16 @ 10:29 AM
Hi I'm leaving my partner because her attitude changes from day to day. We have a six month old daughter and I wanted full custody of her because I've seen the way she is with the oldest two children that she has got. She can be very nasty to the oldest one. And with me working six days a week I can't be here to see what she does. She would rather be on her mobile phone and watching telly rather than communicating and playing with the children. If I was granted full custody I would live with my mom and dad/ my six month old daughters grand parents. If you could give me advise I'd appreciate it. Thank you
Danny - 7-Jun-16 @ 11:46 AM
My wife is always arguing with my daughter and hitting he, she can't even provide her basic needs, she live with my parents who provide everything. I work in London and I am calling them over in July to stay with me but I don't think we will be able to stay together as my wife is mentally hurting my daughter and saying all no good things to her. My daughter has lost weight and is mentally stressed out she is only 7. I wanted to know what legal action I could take?
Harris - 3-Jun-16 @ 12:04 PM
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