Our three-part guide to 'Going to Court' covered all the issues you might experience throughout the court process. Many people experience issues after a court order has been made - and this guide "After the Initial Court Order" is aimed at helping you through difficulties following a court ruling.
If you need to formally notify the other party about breaches or request compliance with the order, you can use our free Letter Builder.
Breaches of Court Orders
It is always important to keep a record of any breaches of a court order, however minor. Whilst it may not seem important at the time that a payment was a couple of days late or a couple of pounds short, these minor breaches all add up. A series of minor breaches on top of a more major breach of an order (such as a payment missed altogether) may be the evidence that makes a difference between a judge just giving your ex partner 'a telling off' and be told not to breach the order again, and the judge altering the order (to reduce contact or make them pay a month in advance).
You can keep a record however you like really, as long as you keep it safe. Below are a couple of popular choices:
- Quick typed word document saved in a separate file on your computer
- A small pocket diary kept just for the purposes of recording breaches
Your diary entries / notes don't have to be long.
It is also worth if anything is agreed (in person or over the phone) to confirm this in writing (email is fine) with your ex partner. They do not have to reply, but they have then had the option to object if this was not their recollection of the situation.
Police Involvement in Court Order Breaches
The police generally won't get involved in breaches of court orders as it is a matter for the court to deal with. Even if your ex partner keeps your children for an extra couple of nights than they are meant to, this is not a matter for the police as the children are safe with someone who has parental responsibility. (Also consider whether you would want to upset your children by having the police come into the house and drag them away from your partner.)
If your ex partner repeatedly or seriously breaches the court order, you can apply to the courts to enforce the order. All contact orders after 2008 contain a warning about what could happen if an order is breached. If your order is breached, you need to ensure that you have an attached warning notice. You can then apply for enforcement of your order. The police will then only become involved if there are repeated serious breaches and the court punishes your ex partner via community service (or, in rare cases, imprisonment).
The police will not immediately get involved in enforcing a court order relating to children if they are with someone with parental responsibility, even if you make allegations of abuse. The correct procedure should you wish to make allegations of abuse is to make an emergency (same day) application to the courts. The police may then be used to enforce that court order, accompanying a Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) officer to remove children from a party's care.
Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements
Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.
If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:
- Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object.
- Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead.
- If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again.
Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.
Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.
You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)
Parental Alienation
In some cases the child may state that they do not want to have any contact with the non resident parent, this is sometimes due to the fact that the resident parent has alienated the child from the other parent. This is known by some as parental alienation, this is a controversial pathological ailment most commonly claimed during divorce or separation of parents. Symptoms of parental alienation are expressed as unjustified extreme hatred for one parent.
Parental alienation remains a controversial condition in both the legal and medical professions, as similar symptoms can easily be brought on by negative comments by the other parent, or a child blaming one party (particularly if they were unfaithful) for the relationship breaking down.
Draft a court statement for your hearing. Takes 5 minutes.
Try our Court Statement Writer free, here on this site →Proving it in Court
Generally legal advice would always be not to plead parental alienation in court. Judges like evidence based submissions, so if you are claiming a medical (psychological) condition, the judge will want to see a medical report to prove this. This is not the sort of report a regular GP would be able to give, so would be expensive to obtain, and many medical professionals (much like with conditions such as ME) don't recognise it as a "real" medical problem.
The best way to effectively plead parental alienation would be to produce evidence in court of your child's behaviour being unsubstantiated or unreasonable. You essentially want the judge to give the wishes of your child (one item on the welfare checklist) little weight. You are far more likely to achieve this by demonstrating how good a parent you are and your closeness with your child before the separation to show how their sudden hatred is irrational. Often mention of "parental alienation syndrome", a condition proposed by controversial American psychiatrist Richard Gardner, will damage an otherwise valid point.
SUMMARY:
- Parental Alienation Syndrome is highly controversial
- Many medics and lawyers do not accept it exists
- You are more likely to succeed by proving that behaviour is irrational / influenced by the other party using evidence
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Applying For a Change of Contact Arrangements
Clearly the easiest way to agree contact arrangements is between you and your ex partner, clarifying arrangements in writing. If this is the case and you wish to change your contact arrangements, you can simply ask to have a discussion with them and set new arrangements.
If however you have a court order detailing your contact arrangements, changing them is a little more tricky and you may need to apply to the courts again; a costly and lengthy process. The best way to deal with a change in arrangements, even if you currently have a court order is:
- Talk to your ex partner and explain what you want to change and why. If it works out better for both of you they might not object
- Go your solicitor and draft a letter to your ex partner setting out the arrangements you wish to change in a more official manner on their letterhead
- If neither of the above has settled matters, apply to the courts to decide your contact arrangements again
Going back to court takes time and money, so it is important to consider a) how important it is that you make changes to the current arrangements (especially if they work) and b) how major are your changes. If your changes are purely for convenience, but can still work now, then it is really not cost effective to take your ex partner back to court if they won't agree to them. Equally if your change is to which evening you have the children (e.g. Weds / Thurs) or what time they are returned (1pm / 2pm), there is also little point in taking this matter to court.
Remember the No Order Principle: the courts will not make an order, if the position is no worse if they don't make an order than if they do.
You should always aim to work together as parents and be reasonable. If you are on the receiving end of a request to change arrangements, consider if the request is reasonable and what effect it would have on you. If for example it is a change of day when you would be in all week anyway, then why object; objecting just to annoy your ex partner is never advisable as, like it or not, you have a long-standing relationship with them (until your child is 18!)
SUMMARY:
- Only resort to changes through the courts if you have to
- If changes are opposed consider carefully whether they are strictly necessary before applying to the courts
Sample Letters
We've produced 10 sample letters to help you communicate with your ex and with the various authorities to help you achieve a positive outcome with any issues relating to your children. You find them here:
Unfortunately, courts are overwhelmed right now and judges often take weeks to issue directions, even for straightforward matters. While deeply unfair, this delay isn't unusual. Keep calling the court weekly for updates, and consider putting your enquiries in writing too, as this creates a paper trail.
Since you're at such a crucial stage, it might be worth consulting a family solicitor, even just for a one off consultation. They could advise whether there are ways to expedite matters or if a gentle nudge to the court might help. Many offer fixed fee initial appointments.
Stay strong. You've come this far, and you will see your children again.
Many thanks in advance.
Lee
I currently have a contact order in place that says I pick the kids up from school one day per week, spend a few hours with them, feed them (restaurant as i live too far away to be able make a meal at home) then have back to their mother by 6:30.
i have the chance to amend this to work better by picking them up from school and having them over night so i can take them to school in the morning.
do i need to do mediation before i can i apply to court, the Mother has always refused to attend.
many thanks
Dan Parkhouse
Can I ask a question on school holidays and court orders?
Current arrangements are Thursday evening to Sunday. This Thursday falls on a weekend where School term ends on Friday the 17th of July for the children and Monday 20th of July is a Teacher Training. So would suggest this is my standard weekend.
Court order states:
The ‘Regular/Term Time Arrangements’ are suspended during the summer holiday.
I should then have 14 nights and 7 nights for the school summer holiday.
So logically I should see my son on Thursday night as normal returning on Sunday at 5PM.
So wondering if the first night of school holiday is therefore the Friday night or Monday night? So wondering what of the two days dictates regular contact ends.
The ex is trying to force if I have my son on Thursday night then should carry through to Sunday, then will stop me from having the 7 days later in the school holidays and so I only have the 14 night period. My argument is that is a normal weekend. Therefore I should see my son as normal on Thursday, return him on Sunday and have the 14 day/ 7 day as per court order. Am I correct?
On that time my ex alleged me with violence , and i went court , court decide i should not contact her direct or indirect for 5 years if i want to see my child should be arrange through solicitor or mediator ,
and i did that , i see my son at contact center ,
so now we are agree to have a contact by email and see my child , pick up from home and drop him back to home with out contact center,
Now im wondering if we have a contact by email with each other to arrange time and day for child is it legal or need some process
Cause i should not contact her direct or indirect according previous court order but now we both agree for our child to be in touch , can we do or not ,
Any one help please
Thanks
I have a very controlling ex partner whom since day one has not bothered with our children but the minute I leave him he wants access, fast forward took me to court and was given court order for every second weekend. He spends little time with the children when they are there, does not know how to relate to them, my question is when my children reach 10 year's old can they speak to the judge and Express that they have no interest in this individual? Has anyone had the same experience at all? Thankyou.
Best to add in this character is a self harmed, alcoholic and severe mental health issues. This has all been mentioned in court and medical records shown as proof but has made no difference.
£18, 000 down but the site does not seem to work, it wont accept me and said to contact admin, is it a bit like Father's for Justice site, only looks good on paper? We paid them £40 and never heard another word
I have recently been through the court process to gain access to my 2 year old Son, access was totally restricted for a period of 3 months, the worst 3 months of my life ! ... eventually all was resolved after having to incur costly solicitors fees. The Court Order for access was strictly for access only, nothing to do with maintenance as conformed by the Judge (after my ex consistently mentioned money). My question is ... My Son was in private nursery when the order was put in place, the judge gave me access on a Wednesday and Thursday day, I believe he thought that he was doing me a favour yet as soon as the Court order was received in the post, my ex emailed me to tell me that she can no longer afford nursery (even though the CMS payments had increased since and she also sent me an email telling me the dates of the 3 holidays she's going on) and that she will be removing him and that I will have to make arrangements myself for those days, really meaning that I will have to pay the nursery fees for those days. I have always contributed to the fees but have no obligation to and have always been fully compliant with the CMS of whom she is also taking me to tribunal. I really cannot afford the payments anymore and am getting myself into more debt as time passes, any help guidance would be much appreciated if anybody else has experienced similar problems, my understanding is that she is in contempt of the order by removing him from nursery but I am not sure?
We have both tried to register on the site but it won’t let us and the admin haven’t answered emails. Can anyone help please?
Our daughter will be twelve 3 months. She has become used to the arrangements, living with me and very settled well (she has found the last minute ad-hoc requests for contact from mum frustrating). Mum now has a new relationship and wants to return to the 50/50 arrangement. Her communications have actually become semi-litigious, somewhat economical with the truth in an attempt to make herself look good and done nothing to build any form of trust. I have to some degree ignored them and refused to engage, par one e-mail.
Our daughter is adamant that she doesn't want to return to the old court arrangement and has said she won't go to mum's after school on the set days (she's in secondary and makes her own way to school and back). I am not in the frame of mind to force her either. I have discussed it at length and established what sort of time she wants to spend with her mum. She stated throughout the last proceedings she wanted to spend more time with dad and has now got used to this. My ex isn't listening and is unilaterally trying to force through her own agenda (she is particularly controlling and very manipulative).
So, do I take this back to court again? I'm of the frame of mind of letting our daughter vote with her feet and then waiting for my ex to have to deal with it as opposed to go for the head-on litigation. Maybe it's time for our daughter to have her say; or; by refusing to return, time for mum to accept some feedback? I'm not keen on the court process. My ex spouts all sorts of lies, nothing is ever looked into properly and the whole system is adversarial, which doesn't nothing to settle our daughter. TBH, I am becoming somewhat resentful of my ex, for being so selfish as to keep putting our daughter through this and praying on her emotions. She is so selfish.
Thoughts please.
She has also told me that she is moving, and after recently agreeing that if both of our partners cant drop off/pick up our daughter, then we are to meet at a public place. This has been fine until she has decided to move, to which I have asked to meet at a public place which is in the middle for us both, at the designated time we have previously agreed. She has now told me that due to her other childs sleeping times, I will either have to drop my daughter off at her home, even though there have been allegations of domestic abuse, hence why I am more confortable with a public place. Or I need to meet at a public place earlier, which then reduces my time with my daughter. She also stated that if im not happy with that then I am to change my days, which is practically impossible due to work commitments. I feel really lost as I have requested that we go to mediation to resolve this matter, to which she declined as she stated she isn't paying for mediation so I might as well take her back to court. I feel like if I don't agree to her way then my contact with my daughter will be affected. As she has stated I wont be getting my daughter if she cant get back home to hers, but wont agree on anything auitable for both parts, just for the simple fact she has another child.
Well she ended up being spiteful and cut our tues it upset son and dad and dad tried to sort it she wasn’t having any of it , went to mediation she refused . It got signed off no intent she told him to go court . She couldn’t wait for him to take her to court . Well he filed for court and she cut all contact now and stated he’s a druggie he used to smoke weed occasionally but never infront of kids and she knew this the whole 10 years they was together .. even got messages she let us take him out the country 11 days in June , she also filed for csa bare in mind we used to buy everything for ours all his uniform and shoes and coats .
Went to court on tues her police report isn’t back so we didn’t see a judge we paid for a solicitor so waste money cos got no were.. we tried to put tempers interim in place and she stated we could have him only for tea on tues and thurs and every other fri to sun.. we want happy but only tempery so agreees so solicitor told her then she changed her mind sed we could only see him supervised with her until she knows he not a druggy. She wanted a cocaine test .. so more expense but we agreed . She believed it was going to take ages for test.. so we went to consent then she sed she want cannabis test too even tho she knew he used to do it and never had a problem got TEXT saying she knows he does it and don’t ever kick off.. well my partner stopped in October and he explained this . The solicitor ordered a drug test sed it be over 90 days but would be monthly results so would show clear for dec, nov and usage in October .. but after doing the test the lab told us it won’t come bk clear until 90 day weed free so there will be a high reading October then lower reading for nov and dec .. but the agreement she sed he had to prove he weed free which this test won’t prove it and she won’t acceot urine sample .. ?? she is deluded she let us have supervised contact on wed and she kicked off at us swearing infront of the kids and she was trying to get Bobbi to go he didn’t want to her fella was even saying stop stop kicking off no need it’s all on record and it’s only her shouting n being horrible she phone police and when they come she states I was aggressive to her ?? I didn’t barely say anything bare in mind she was given a harrassment advice letter cos she kept kicking off and lying .. police didn’t listen was literally believing her crap.. also Bobbi told us he didn’t
After the mother got out of hospital supervised visitation in a social centre was planned twice a week once closer to where we lived and the other closer to where they lived. His mother was not happy about her having to travel and after some issues was asked not to come back to my local centre and when we had gotten another centre that was slightly further away, after 2 visitations was asked not to come back to there as well, this visitation went badly for about a year (that’s now 2 years of my son living with me) she dicided she wanted him back and had gotten a lawyer, at this point I was happy with all that had went on a was pretty sure this was now giving me actual approval from the court that I would be my sons legal gardain, my son is now 7 years old. His mom now stated that I was not the father, my lawyer said we needed to do a dna test (which I would have to pay for lol) well the DNA test proved a wasn’t the father and as you could guess my heart broke and I remember going to my sisters in tears but on that same day promise that didn’t matter. After a
Her wish to become the primary carer was so as to not have to pay me the money, and to make my life more financially difficult.
She has always sought more time from the courts to prepare her case, and has been granted time extensions by the court several times before, always being warned "this is the last time".
She has now sent me an email saying she now only wants to see them 4 nights every month, cannot commit to specific dates, and despite the £90k salary, cannot afford wrap around child care.
The October hearing was to determine her petition to become the full time carer. This whole thing was designed to cause me maximum stress and difficulty.
Is it possible to have the intent of the original application stayed or enforced by the court so she becomes the full time carer and the gilrls stop being messed around?
Thanks for any thoughts on this
I have a Child Arrangement Order in place which I applied for . It is currently 12pm-7pm on Saturday , 10am-5pm Sunday, this is every other weekend.
At the time this order was put in to place I lived near my ex wife.
Due to work I have been moved to the Midlands 2 1/2 hrs away.
I have applied for a change in order , which I am currently awaiting a date to return to court.
Even though is stated exact times on the Order, it also says progression to overnight contact and additional contact should be encouraged/supported.
I have had over night contact now for around 6/7 months all has been going well.
This weekend my partner has stated that she is now adhering to the court order , she has not suggested that overnight contact will be removed , but with that statement I believe that’s her attention.
I live so far away now , I have nowhere to stay in the local area to her.
Therefore my plan is to take my chilldren back home and keep them overnight as usual. I do have parental responsibility as well.
Can anyone advise me, she is the kind of women who will phone the police etc.
Thank you anxious dad
I need to take him back to court how much will this cost me
When my partner has spoken to cafcass they said that there was too cases open for them and only one has been closedhence why they can put this in place. Surley they can't stop him from seeing his kids when we have them every other weekend and extra in holidays??
But then all of a sudden all contact stopped between the time i dropped them off and collect them (12 days later)
I asked the children why and they said that there mum had either hidden the i-pads and phones or just simple said no to the children contacting me ,,For the last 2 drop offs after my weekend my daughter has been in tears as she knows it will be another 12 days until we speak again ,,,i have e-mailed my ex but she just ignores my e-mail`s !!!
I have contacted Caffcass but as the order has been made they no longer can help
It cost me over 20k to get access to my children due to the mother just stopping access for no reason ,,,
What can i do ???
My husband and I had a 2 year battle for him to have more access to his daughter an also to prohibit his ex from moving to Poland permanently with his daughter.
The Judge was in favour of my husband and so on the 5th April, he was awarded much more time and half of all the holidays. He has waited two years for this and his first half term is May coming. The court ordered he will have this May with his daughter.
His ex now wants to go to a holy communion in Poland that day and a wedding on his daughter’s birthday in August (our time again). We agreed August because we don’t need to be difficult and can have the birthday any time here but May we have my brothers wedding which his daughter will be a bridesmaid and this day clashes with the communion.
We explained why we can’t swap and that on the day she did want to swap we already had a hotel booked for a weekend away anyway (we have evidence). We apologised and said we simply cannot swap and she is going to the wedding. Also, it’s been 2 years and this will be the first stretch he will have had with his daughter.
She has now applied to court and we have to go back next week for one day to let her argue her case! The court ordered this time with us and we have a family event which was booked and dealt with well before the court order (simply because it was always going to be our weekend).
Can she do this every time she doesn’t get her own way???? Will she likely win?
Thanks
Marie
My question is: What happens after the expiration? I assume at that point my daughter will be in charge of deciding where and how much time she spends with either parent. Also, I am curious what the options are for her mother to contest this - or try to extend the Orders (as I am fairly certain she will not be pleased they are expiring).
The latest situation is that I have been denied Direct Contact and allowed Indirect contact with my daughters by the District Judge in family court.
In one of the court hearings the Judge had given remarks that she would like to wait and see the outcome of indirect contact for 12 months for allowing direct contact, but nothing has been mentioned about this in the final order.
I need to appeal or should I wait and submit fresh case for Direct Contact and since I cannot afford heavy Solicitors / Barrister charges I need some legal advice as to how to proceed in my case since even the CAFCASS report has even been not considered.
If need to appeal then in which court and which forms to fill and submit.
Best regards and hope someone could help me out urgently.
Thanks
The judge awarded costs of £215 against me (being the enforcement application fee she paid) citing 2 breaches of an Order that gave me custody (out of an alleged 11 breaches over a 12 month period). Whilst these 2 ‘breaches’ (missed alternate weekend contact) were no different to a couple of other missed weekends when my son (aged 15) simply didn’t want to make the long journey to visit her (which the judge did accept was a valid reason to have not visited) and indeed when for 1 of the 2 breaches when he visited the weekend after instead (with her agreement at the time), I thought the test for an award of costs had to be for the applicant to prove a financial loss as a DIRECT result of the breach? She didn’t present any ‘direct’ evidence as there was none to present about the missed 2 weekends in question as she didn’t suffer any direct financial loss.
The judge then refused permission to appeal, but are there any appeal rights I can actually exercise?
Or do I wait for my ex to make an application against non-payment of the costs award and appeal that way if possible?
My 2 , when younger , saw their father for a few hours every Saturday
My daughter was great about it and looked forward to it, and their midweek phone call. My son, however refused to talk on the phone , and kicked up a fuss when time to go out with their Dad. I said he had to till 14. He would come home and say he'd had a horrible time etc etc so Id get cross with their Dad
Children are all so different. As adults we know what 'should happen' but it doesn't mean the children want to oblige
Now older he has a good relationship with is both
I know it's hard but your x might be telling the truth , and your son might not know why he , himself , doesn't want to go with you
Some sort of conversation or letter might help but give him time and space
It's hard for all parties. Children don't care whose fault a split is either. It's a very confusing time for them
I really do wish you all the best and that things get sorted out x
how to we stop this cycle before we literally cannot afford to fight him anymore? Please help us. the money is for HIS children!!!!
She is in the family home and I have since re-married and am renting. The mortgage she is paying but I have remained on mortgage so that she can bring up our girls under the roof and foster which is her main income. She is currently unable to get a mortgage on her own. I have agreed with her she can have equity in the property.
I am now ready to buy and have been advised I can obtain sufficient mortgage even with name on existing mortgage. However quite rightly my new wife is uncomfortable with the liability. Is my best option to draw up a court order now which offers transfer to her with an indemnity for me against the mortgage.
I have to pay full maintenance and have a court order for contact in a centre for two hours which is 90 a week I need to see my daughter but am falling behind on bills and am not aloud a variation of cost of while in the centre as my ex reports me and they can put a 20% increase on
What can I do as if I don’t pay full I couldn’t get further cost but I will put sewing my daughter first
I am the primary care of a 10 months old baby girl, her father pick her today up and now he told me on the phone that he won't bring her back to me because I can't afford her - that she has everything what she needs at his house - and he also said he will go tomorrow Monday to the council to get rehousing with her. I am on my own in a temporary accommodation (studio flat).
We have in the moment a case process at the court (leave to remove from the jurisdiction England to Austria)
He is a drug addict. But he is in the birth certificate. What can I do? Today is Sunday and I have no one in this country.
Thank you in advance
He has not seen his children since he left the family home 5 years ago following the breakdown of his marriage. From my understanding the relationship of 20 years was often quite unsettled on both parts and they did not work together, plus i believe there was issues of domestic abuse.
My partner has informed me he suffered years of psychological, verbal and physical torment from her and never did anything about it because no one would believe a man could experience this. His ex wife used to constantly call the police on him and state that he had been abusive for which he would be arrested but then released every time without charge as their was no evidence.
Anyways she has contacted him asking to meet her alone to discuss his eldest daughters severe mental and physical ill health and to look into getting a divorce. She was adamant he could not have anyone else involved and that she had not made told anyone else she was doing this. He arranged to meet her and then she harassed him for two days with text messages warning him that he would hear lots of things he didn't want to here etc. He advised that he did not want to drag up any past just talk about the divorce terms and access to his children. all this time she would not speak to him on the phone only through SMS. He constantly reiterated the point to her above when she persisted to send woeful messages about how hard this has been for her etc.
The meeting never happened due to her attitude and expectation of him driving a 14 hour round trip where it was evident that she was going to be vengeful as she had in her texts.
She eventually agreed to phone him that evening, he was careful to have other people in the room to hear what was being said. She was overheard saying that he was responsible for nearly killing his daughter because of her current illness and then disconnected the call.
He then asked why she would cut the call off an asked her not to contact him further unless it was through a solicitor as they would not be able to sort this between them.
she became very hostile and made threats that he would never have access to their children etc as she has social services on her side and police records etc.
I have looked into this and believe that i am right in thinking that as he is on the birth certificates and is married to her that he has parental responsibility and can ask for access to the children's health records, education and i presume any other records or information held about his daughter say with social services.
can you advise of what the best next steps are in regards to getting access and a divorce as it is unlikely this can be sorted civilly between the two of them.
it may be worth advising that the home they own together he verbally agreed to lea
Hope someone can help I have a court order in place with access to my daughter on a 50/50 basis in the order it states that no parent will stop the other parent from taking the child on holiday
I have on several occasions tried to take my daughter away but any date I provide she refuses I even asked her to select the date from 2 months which would be best and she refused
I'm trying to get her passport so I can at least take her away for a few days on my days and I get no response n when I do she refuses
Please can any1 help I'm stuck what I can do next as going back to court is very expensive to change the court order
Thanks in advance
My ex partner and I have a little boy and there is a court order in place, however recently an incident as taken place with my partner and in court it was seen as an out of character incident however I have been left with criminal records. My ex partner is saying I have to see my little boy with her until his 18 of I want to see him however that is normality for my little boy I have suggested my mother his Nan but she is having non of it. I am just seeking some advice as to where I stand.
My ex and I have a court order that allows 50/50 custody on a 2-2-3 / 2-2-3 nightly pattern. This was after she stopped me having contact for almost 12 months. My eledest daughter turns 13 in 1 week and keeps sending me messages saying she hates her mother, her mother calls her names, her mother makes her depressed and bully's her. I appreciate teens will be teens. But she has said she wants to live with me full time many times now. And this weekend packed her bags. Now she is 13 and her will is to live with me how does this work if she were to just turn up on my doorstep, even despite my best efforts to advise her that she should try to resolve her issues with her mother. If she wants to live here and refuses to go to her mothers what are the implications etc? Obviously I would happily have my daughter full time and will ensure my daughter is 100% certain and that I have attempted to resolve there issues. I just cannot turn her away but am worried about breaking the court order. Many many thanks
I have applied to the court for an enforcement order which is sceduled for June . Can the court take her from me despite the fact that im a good mum. She is 11 ....
After 9 months of not seeing my 2 daughters due to the eldest disclosing feeling scared and intimidated by my Ex husband he applied to the court. A court order was put in place with conditions he didn't swear or speak bad about me to the children. My youngest daughter has now told me he is still doing this and telling her that I am 'grooming' her and brainwashing her. He still swears and speaks bad of me and my partner. All of the conditions in the order he is not adhering to. My youngest is now seeing a counsellor and suffering from emotional distress. She now says she doesn't want to go and gets worried. I am not sure how I get him to abide by the conditions! Please any advice would help.
I've just received a section 7 report back and extremely happy with the recommendations on contact, alternative weekends, mid week and all holidays split 50/50 - what I asked for in the initial contact order. The cafcass officer has suggested a parenting plan is done. My understanding this isn't enforceable? I am self representating and unsure what this means. Their mother and I won't be able to agree (I'm not being negative but court was my final option after 3 years of threats and the children being withheld when she didn't like something, most recently for 3 month!) has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I get an order for contact? Review hearing in 1 week! Many thanks
However this is not the first time she has done this and I am worried she will take her back again.
My ex has had social services involvements for a good while because of abuse in her home from her ex boyfriend, though he no longer resides there. There's been police incidents also. However she has now been discharged.
We have a court order, in place for about 5 years or more, stating she has residency and I have a contact order. How can I get the residency order changed in my favour to prevent her from taking her back again?
This is has happened multiple times with both my children with her kicking them out on numerous occasions because of their bad behaviour and inability to cope.
I was thinking about applying to court with a c100 form but it says we have to mediation first? But if it's amicable, at the moment, do we really have to? We only would be amending an order in place for one child and not both as is on the court order.
Is a cafcass parenting plan worth completing? Many thanks.
I am representing myself in the family court as I cannot get Legal Aid. My children are under a new local authority care as they are on a care plan under Emotional Abuse catagory. The social worker from the previous LA has been found guilty of lying and manipulating records and cherry picking evidence to favour my ex. As a result my children have suffered emotionally and things has been reported by the school.
My children lived with me for sometime until my ex decided to pay for a court proceedings. The original interim order was so strict and unfavourable for the kids that the new LA got it varied.
Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have a contact order in place and the mother has completely lost contact with me altogether. I am now seeking to apply for an enforcement order but have no means of locating my child. Please can someone help on how to go around making a further application without an address for the respondent?
She's blocked my number so I can't contact her or my son. I don't know what to do I can't afford to go back to court as my wife is on maternity. Can't belive our law system where there's nothing for fathers rights.
What normally should happen from here will the court do something about this?
I think if it does end up in court I would have to apply for a variance to the order, its just getting there and writing a good email that I am struggling with.
peter
my ex is now refusing to to sign the form were do I stand with this please help
Have an order in place for my 3 year old that states to spend every other weekend with his father. Father recently changed from a mon-fri job to shift work on lower pay, as this better fits in with his living arrangements now that he has a new child.
This has not only significantly dropped the maintenance he pays for our son, but means that most of his weekends, he is in the care of his step mum (who I have never met) instead of dad. I also work mon - fri, so effectively feel I am sacrificing time to someone who does not have parental rights over our son.
I also have concerns about him spending so much time in her care as his father has previously told me that she is passive aggressive towards our boy due to jealousy issues about him having a child with someone else...
I have asked him to be forthright about his shift pattern so that we can arrange contact on weekends when he is not working - but for unknown reasons he is not agreeable to this.
I have asked him to reconsider arrangements for Christmas day (order states to swap but for various reasons I don't think this best suits our son), which he originally verbally agreed to, but now won't commit to in writing...
I have been flexible a number of times to accommodate his working hours (dropping off/picking up etc) but now feel I have been duped.
I am unsure as to whether it would be worth taking the matter back to court to have arrangements re: Christmas altered and also whether I can have a minimum amount ordered for him to pay in maintenance (he has dropped it twice in the last year by voluntarily taking lower paid jobs).
Any advice on my situation is gratefully received.
I've been representing myself for years and have been battling in court for nearly 6 years. The last time we went to court, the judge ordered that we can’t make an application to court for 2 years as our conflict is abusing the children emotionally. He warned that if this was to continue, our children would be taken into care.
She has breached the order 3 times in 2 months and I've had to register my complaint with the police to get a cad number.
CAFCASS were supposed to keep watch, but they did nothing and they closed the case after 8 months. Now my ex breaches the order at will and often gives me an hour or 2 notice that contact won’t take place. She keeps them for any reason she can come up with and never offers an alternative for me to see them. She is not allowing my alternate weekend to commence on a Friday as she has put my youngest son in a football team on Saturday mornings in Southend without my consent, I live in North London.
I also have 50% shared holidays and the last 3 weeks of summer, but she has divided our summer holiday into 3 sections and gave me 1 days’ notice that I was to have them for the 1st weekend at the start of summer. I obviously couldn't make it as I was away. Her arrangement means I have to travel up to 11 hours and 600 miles going back and forth needlessly.
Now she is refusing to allow my youngest son to come in the summer holiday, saying that he wants to stay home and study for his 11 plus exams. He may come next week only if he feels that he has revised enough? He's 10 and going into year 6 and I've not seen or spoke to either of my boys for 4 - 5 weeks. I was so looking forward to doing something nice with them, now I'm not sure when I'll see them which has ruined my whole summer.
The court order doesn't mean a thing and never has as I have never got what it says on them ever. She does as she pleases with no consequences and I have lost so much contact over the years with my kids, yet I have a penal notice attached if I keep them or breach the order.
I can't take it anymore, I just don't have any peace with my children... There's always some form of conflict whenever I'm due to have them. The uncertainty and worry I have is immense, I can’t make plans or book anything, I never know if I’ll see them or get to have my time with them, it’s just ruining me and the opportunities I have to parent my children.
I need to go back to court with representation, but I’m worried I won’t get my costs back as I can’t afford a solicitor or barrister. What am I to do????
Son on a Friday after school every other weekend. today the school allowed the mother to collect him at 2:15 an hour early to take him to a dentist appointment. They were aware it was my day to collect him and are aware that they must follow the court order. Has the school breached the court order by releasing my son to the mother knowing they should have released him to me. What can I do about it as if the school have breached the court order I will need to contact the relevant people. Who would I contact to advise the school are in breach
His ex has always used the 2children as a weapon against my husband to emotional hurt him and in the process really hurting the children.
We're as the youngests behaviour towards his mother is getting extreme. She is also trying to use this behaviour to state that the child is mentally disturbed and has medical issues but when he is in our care there are no issues except for normal 4 year old behaviour, an example would be he can fully use the toilet but recently started having accidents as to not be left out of what was happening at the time like a game, her solution is to put him back in pull ups!! Due to pure laziness on of the mother.
Our solution was to re assure him that whatever it is we're doing will stop and wait for him and he is a big boy and we are proud of him for using the toilet, our way when with us there has been no accidents, I just one example and the mother is on strong medication for sleep, anxiety, stress but also drinks daily. The 6year old mentioned this in just a normal convo 'mummy acts not very nice and weird when she drinks dirty beer' 4year old whispers to my husband 'were aloud to have some dirty beer' things like this amounts to a number of other concerns we have.
She has always tried to use their children to break me and my husband apart out of pure jelousy. We have and myself through everything she has tried to achieve with breaking us apart have offered genuine support for her for the children help in every way and it has all been refused by her. She has also asked numerous occasions for us to have the children more than 2weeks for a number of reasons that are untrue, also setting up in a large public places to start to shout and cause arguments with my husband in front of children (happened on a few occasions)
And now she has decided to keep the children away and go against the court order stating she is listening to her 6year old and she doesn't want to see her dad or come to our home, we know this is not the case and we see how much it is hurting the children there mother manipulating them and no reasons behind not letting them see their dad.
With a number of ongoing concerns for the children's emotional and well being, and to permanatly stop this 'I'm in control 'attitude we need to do something fast before it gets worse and the mother effects the children anymore.
What are the best steps to take?
I ask if she could meet me half way because it cost almost £200 every two weeks she said she can't afford it plus she has panic attacks so she can't travel alone. I want to take her back to court but not sure if this will make her start meeting me half way. So confused on what to do?
A court order has been put in place since a year ago January.
My ex and I do not speak as a restraining order is in place but our 5 year old daughter has regular visits to her dad (one day every other weekend & an overnight stay every other weekend) part of the order was that he was not to touch alcohol the night before & during having our child, she told me that daddy was drinking mucky wine in his friends kitchen & fell down the stairs (on her overnight stay) and today she's told me that daddy's friend has guns, 3 of them, he was showing daddy in the kitchen and sells them! I'm furious & so worried, she's an innocent little girl & im not in a position to protect her from these kinds of things that he's doing whilst he's meant to be caring for her. If I pass on a message would he start telling her to keep secrets or start treating her differently. Please advise?? I represented myself in court & whatever I said fell on deaf ears.
Thanks in advance
Tri
She has now breached the order on many occasions including access at weekends and telephone calls, what can be done to pursue this as I think it's in my Daughters best interest to still have contact. I work full time and support my Daughter with all her needs financially and it seems as Mum is unemployed she will only have to pay approx. £7 a week (Child Support Arrangements Dec 2015). I have never received or been offered any support for over two years, but has a Fab lifestyle !! Many thanks
Please help
I applied for a divorce and residency of our children. My ex opposed the residency in order to get contact with our children, both 8 and 9 at the time. My eldest child was diagnosed with PTSD and my youngest with anxiety and stress. In the end we agreed that since he was living back with his parents and was on a drug testing order and no longer drinking, that he could have phone contact with the children and have the children for 4 weeks of the year. It was both agreed at a joint meeting as long as certain conditions were put in place, supervised contact by his parents.
He lost his job recently and is currently in 2 months of arrears with cms. He has started displaying the same behavior as he does when abusing alcohol and drugs. His parents openly told me that they barely see him, that he has to leave the house if they decide to go out. Clearly he cannot be trusted. He ceased all contact with the children for 2 weeks. As a result both of our children started showing signs of stress, mood swings, bed wetting, nightmares, anxiety...
My ex rang a couple of days ago to speak with the children, I refused to allow him. I confronted him on his substance misuse and things quickly became heated between us. I have every suspicion that he is using drugs again, but obviously cannot prove it until he is tested. I have since calmed down and tried to get hold of him to let him know that he can have phone contact with the children, but there is to be no physical contact until he straightens his life out. I am still waiting to hear back from him.
I has also found out that my exs dad is very immobile and his mum is still recovering from a fall she had at Christmas. They are both in their 70s and never see any wrong in their son. I am not convinces that they are well enough to supervise contact efficiently anymore, since my exs dad said that they are Not going to get any better.
Ideally I would be more at peace with the children seeing their dad in a contact center, especially considering everything that came to light after his driving offense. Where do I stand with all this?
I have been separated from my partner for two years. I've always paid Child maintainance and given extra to my children when needed. We had a agreement in place where I'll have the kids every other weekend but not on the Sunday night for their benefit under the agreement that she wouldn't go for more money. We Had the access in court with a access consent order, after that was signed she went for more money the next day! A extra £100 a month I don't have.
What do I have to do to re-issue court proceedings so I can either get that Sunday back or go for for joint seven day access and what are my chances?
Gaz
My ex and I have just been through an exhaustive separation. After 2 years in court I was granted so custody and he has extensive visitation rights. The relationship was abusive, he was highly controlling and downright scary. Everything went well in court. I gave him as much as I could to avoid retribution or violence after the trial.
Two days after we recieved our final court orders he started asking for visitation and contact outside of the court orders.
I have politely responded in emails that we stick to the orders as they have only just been made.
At least once a week he comes up with a new request to "amend" an order.
we've only been out of court 2 months. I dont wont to go back.
I hate saying no to him because it results in some sort of retaliation but I just want to follow the orders and get on with our lives. I'm so tired.
Our daughter is only 2. Nothing he requests benefits her, it's just strange petty nonsense requests.
whenever I dont give him what he wants she comes home with her hair cut off.
How do I handle this without aggrevating him.
I was given the order in June 2014 after having to take my ex-partner to court as she refused to let me see my son for 11 months in total due to her failing to appear in court on 5 occasions giving reasons on poor health and not receiving letters to inform her of dates to attend.
I have tried Mediation which I attended and she refuse to attend and I have written her countless letter to try and get her to come up with an agreement between ourselves that does not involve the courts but she has refused to even discuss anything with me.
my ex-partner has now stopped my access and informed me that in order to see my son I must go back to court even though it is her that has breached the court order on a number of occasions which I have just gone along with as I know how costly and lengthy the court process is but I am now left in limbo as to what to do next. HELP? I am on the birth certificate and I pay maintenance through CSA so money is not even a reason
Will the judge who sentences me, take into consideration my fight and commitment to stay in the kids lives despite big problems with there mother... and the fact the kids have been to 3 contact centres already and it would do then more harm than good to have there father vanish from there lives ... help me to escape a custodial sentence ? My lawyer has told me that cos I've fought long and hard for my kids through the courts and it's all been going great for months and months, that this will help me not go to jail perhaps.
That he is aggressive with my son and very impatient when my 2 year old son misbehaves, my ex won't use the time out method and send him straight to bed no matter what time of day. My son screams when I drop him off there, I told my ex today that he couldn't have him over night again, raising said issues, my ex told me he will take him no matter what as he has the court order saying he can!! He says I will be prosecuted, can I now take him back to court and plead my case? Thanks any advice greatly received
Please do not continue to print incorrect information as it reduces any weight that your advice might have had.
Any advice would be welcome
thanks D
We jointly purchased another flat for me to live in.
Now he wants to use it when I'm not there, he is saying as he co owns it he can.
We e been apart for more than two year eps! Is this right?? The divorce is not finalised yet!!
He lives in a 7 bed house and has three spare rooms when children not there...4 girls...
I'm in a three bed flat.. He would be sleeping in my bed!!!! Aaaaghghhh is this legal???!
I was to have children this Christmas
Now she has refused
Allowing me to see them for a few hours
I have to fly to London to see them
They live in HK
She may not turn up
Her father in law is an mp and is aiding and abetting her to break the orders
My aging parents are devastated that they canno have their grandchildren home for Christmas
What can I do
I have shared residence order and parental responsibility. The order said I have to take my children home at 6pm. I asked her 4 weeks ago if I could have them to take them to a show, she said yes so I booked the tickets. And now she has said no I can't have them over night. I said I have paid for the tickets as it was agreed between us. Nope bring them back like the order said. I have said nope I am taking them to the show.
What is the worst that will happen. As I have informed her they will be staying.
Thanks
Also, in the order we stated we could do half the journeys to make our move away easier for her father, it is becoming really difficult for us to our half of the journeys due to changing work circumstances, but he will not agree to collect her. If we did have to go back to court what is the likelihood they would make him do both journeys and roughly how much would it cost?
Also, I am planning to relocate to the US next year July 2016, so I can't afford to leave matters the way they are without putting in place legally binding arrangements to see my children during the weekends and holiday before I move and also to have them visit me in the US during their holidays and whenever I'm in London (not that she kept to the visitation order of 2012).
She bought a house far away from the children's school and far from me without even consulting me on the move. She's taken the children on holidays without seeking my consent or even leaving a contact number for me to reach them when they are away. She's blocked me access to the children's school life or any other matter regarding them that is my right. I need to address these please.
I am have been seeing a therapist since the breakup and he pointed out that the main issue causing my acute depression, stress and PTSD is lack of healthy access to my children, that I should go to citizen's advice bureau for help.
It's been like that with her. It was because of that same lack of concern for their welfare that the Court sent us to NRS Parenting Course for Separating and Divorced Parents. It didn't do her any good because she had gotten worse instead of changing her attitude and putting the children first before her animosity toward me.
Because of my threatening to call the police for leaving the kids home alone in 2012, she drops the children sometimes with me during the holiday. This is based on her decision and whim, nothing to do with seeing it as my parental responsibility or right. There was a time that for two weeks she didn't drop the children on Saturday as the court ordered, she does this many times without any explanation most times. Since she wouldn't answer my calls or texts messages, I had to go to the little one's school to see him. I did. He was ecstatic with joy. When she heard, she warned me never to visit the kids at school again, that she didn't want me 'disrupting their lives', her words. I wept like a baby. She treats me as if I have no rights at all. That's the same way she's treated me during our 10 years of marriage. Until 2010, I was their main carer. Their school never knew her, or saw her. The school and other parents thought I was a single parent until 2010 when she kicked me out of the house after she got her British passport (I brought her here from Nigeria when I got a job in London as minister of religion). I was working and taking care of the children at the same time. I even had to leave my NHS job to work night because I wouldn't allow her send the children to a child minder. She eventually got a childminder that misplaced my child. The child went missing. If it had not been for the fact that I taught the older boy my phone number I wonder what would have happened to my child. The childminder left him at the bus stop and got on the bus without realising the older one was not on it. He was left at the bus stop weeping in Lewisham. It was a kind lady who saw him crying and asked if he knew any of his parent's phone number, he knew mine, not his mother's. He called me and luckily I just finished work and was in the same vicinity, right in front of him when he called! It was a weird experience for me and I cried.
I am tired of being at her mercy. I'm tired of seeing my children anytime she chooses. She's ignored the court's order several times for me to see the children on Saturdays as ordered. She knows that I don't like any trouble so she uses that to treat me the way she does. I need help applying to the court to see my children every Friday to Sunday and drop them off on Sunday afternoon. This week, I asked if the children could come to church with me since they've not a
I am advise regarding access to my children.
In 2010, my partner took me to court and from then we started living apart. The judge asked what I wanted concerning the children, but since I was homeless and out of job because of the stress and depression caused by the breakdown of the marriage and abuse I suffered at her hands, I couldn't ask to have the children or see them more than a day of the week. I asked if I could see the children on Saturdays. It was granted. That was in November 2010.
It's now 2015 and I have experienced changes in terms of going back to work (since 2012) and have a comfortable place where I'm living. I was expecting that because of these positive changes my partner would see it fit for me to see the children more than the Saturdays, but it took my threatening to call the police because she preferred leaving the children home alone rather than them being with me. That was in 2012 when the oldest was 11 and the youngest 5. They were on holiday and I called to find out how they were doing and asked how their mum was (I always to do that), but was told that they were home alone, and that they had been home alone since Monday, this was Thursday. I was livid and told them I was calling the police to report her abuse. But friends prevailed and somehow someone told her that I was going to call the police, that was when she called me, which she never does, even when I send her a text or call her regarding the children, she never responds. She asked if I wanted to have the children for the week. This is a woman who knew I was home, off work, but preferred to leave the children home alone rather than them spending time with me. She actually walks right by my house to get to work. So it wasn't that it was inconvenient or a long trip to make to get to me. I made sure I got a flat about 3 minutes away from their house to enable me reach them quickly in case of any emergency, because I was afraid for their welfare since I had been their main carer since they were 2 weeks old and she pursued her career. I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to properly care for the children. There was a time I called to find out how they were (I call every day), and I heard the little one crying, when I asked the older one what the matter was with him, he told me that the heater had been off for hours, and they were freezing, that was why the little one was crying, he was cold. I asked if any adult was there and the older said they was but the person didn't know how to turn on the boiler back on. I asked if they'd called their mum, and he said yes, but that was hours ago and she hadn't shown up. I called their mum, but as usual, she refused to pick my call. I ran like a mad man to the house and found my little baby crying. I turned on the boiler and waited a while to ensure the boiler won't trip off again. I left. For their mum to call me a couple of hours later threatening me and saying never to come to her house without her pe
Cassandra
Her behaviour is controlling and odd. A few weeks ago she knew that I was intending to take my daughters to my partner's father's house and she begged to drop them off outside his house so she could look at it. He lives down a private lane and I had to be very firm as she kept asking.
During our divorce I was ordered to pay £300 spousal maintenance payment at the time and my income was over £100,000 per annum including bonuses. This maintenance was in addition to all the other financial settlement agreements and child support.
I lost my job four months ago and are currently on jobseekers allowance all the jobs that I am currently being interviewed for a half the amount of money I earnt when the agreement was made, how can I reapply to the court to reduce this spousal maintenance?
He is not a verry gd mam and does not want kids only when he wants to see them mabe 2 times a year hhe takes drugs and sells and grow drugs b4 around the kids when I did not no he shouts at me I front off kids and hits me aswell he don't want to pay for kids and only wants this family side to see them he is not letting me meet no one as he finds them and tell them I'm with him
I have tried to switch my mortgage for exactly the same amount - and he point blank refuses to give his consent though sheer spite as there is no impact on him by me switching mortgage provider from an interest only mortgage to a repayment mortgage - in fact it leaves him in a better position. He has sent a letter stating that if i want to take it to court i can. I want to find out what the next steps are for me to take it to court as it is totally unreasonable what he is requesting. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated including next steps for me to take this back to the court.
Many thanks
again for custody despite it already being awarded?
Her father has said things in the past such as "i am taking your cuddles away" before dropping her back to us and recently sent a text to my partner saying that he was not happy for his daughter to be calling me Dad and that he would be making it very clear to her that she only has one dad and that is him. He also said some disturbing comments over the phone to my partner such as "she will always be the odd one out" and that "my partner, myself and said child will never be a family.
We are concerned what he is saying to her and about what she will be thinking, we are being advised to go to a child & family solicitor but after we last went to court which made things 10x worse we are concerned that it will only backfire again and cause everything to get worse, not too mention we are not able to afford to go back to court again.
Please may i have some advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
I have to pick my kids up at a contact centre saturday 10am and drop them back on Sunday afternoon 4pm. It says in the court order she must make the children available to me and it doesn't specifically say I must be there to pick them up. I'm hoping my parents or close family can pick them up and take them back to my house or take them somewhere on my behalf for the few hours I have to work. If she disagrees, do I have to go back to court and get the court order amended? And if so what form is it I have to fill in.
judge. Judge has now ordered Fact finding hearing.
It's been one month since the order and my ex has refused to meet with the child contact centre, cancelling meeting appointments hence contact hasn't commenced.
She has now applied Child maintenance service (CMS) for money; albeit I have been paying money into her account monthly ever since she left. She must be well aware that since our child isn't spending the night with me she will get more money in accordance with CMS rules. I strongly believe she's trying to frustrate the contact order so she can get more money off me as supervised contact will move towards support contact and she may lose custody at the next hearing or be ordered to have our child spend nights with me which means less money for her.
There is a lot of legal work and preparation to be completed for the fact finding hearing as you would imagine.
Please advise:
A) I'm thinking of using the services of a direct access Barrister or a Solicitor going forward. Has any used direct access Barrister? Can any be recommended in the Bedfordshire area?
B) Anyone with similar case to share their experience – I know each case is unique? It is evident that the time is over when ex-partners make false allegation against Dads and get away with it. Just look at the recent case that went public. The dad got custody and she may now end up in prison like her parents.
C) How should I go about making CMS understand that her attempt is malicious as she has been receiving money from me and never applied to them after she left the house but now deliberately wants more money from me through them?
And I wish all Dads the very best in their cases. If you wish to contact me privately please do let me know and I'll provide my details.
PaPa
I know it's a bit of a read; I'll appreciate all your assistance and comments.
I hope many of the members will be able to provide further assistance. I haven't had contact with my son since August 2014 after breaking up with my ex-partner. I applied for child arrangement order and also filled the C1A as I've been the victim of domestic violence and the wellbeing and health of our child was at risk throughout the short-lived relationship - which, in hindsight I should have reported to the authorities. I do have evidence captured in audio and video. She made counter allegations. She called the police in July and admitted that she had been the one perpetrating the violence and not me. She again called the police after she started her rage in August 2014, assaulting me and our child. She had claimed I beat her which led to us being arrested and I was released with all allegations dismissed.
She then went into hiding with our child painting the picture that she had fled to the Social services. Social services investigated and wrote a report that depicted she was deliberately emotionally and psychologically abusing our child and I, by not letting our child have a relationship with me. But they couldn't take our son into care as there was a private proceeding already in place and there was no sign of physical harm to our child however, she was found to be aggressive, dismissive and hot tempered during their short visit. Social services did conclude in the report that I could parent our child but of course with support.
We attended our first hearing in June 2015 after she was absent at the initial one in March. Her counsel was quick to offer a deal (supervised contact) which I rejected as I wanted the judge to take a view. Judge ordered that I have supervised contact every Saturday so our son can get know me again after 10 months. I wasn't entirely pleased about the supervised contact (which I carry all the cost) but Judge felt I need to reintroduce myself. Although it will cost me a lot of money but better that every other week which most dads get.
Judge questioned her about her counter allegations of domestic violence that I allegedly committed and she went on about emotional abuse, but the judge was more interested about the alleged physical violence and dismissed it. She eventually confessed to the judge that I physically attacked her only once and the judge asked when, she said on the last day, August 2014 - which was the first and only time I defended myself and our child. She had earlier submitted a position statement earlier that she was victim of domestic violence throughout her pregnancy and our relationship, same story she told Social services - but confessed to only once when quizzed firmly by the
Due to the recent altercation, I no longer wish to pick up my daughter from their home and have asked that we continue the pick-up and drop offs mid-way between us which she is refusing to do. There is nothing in the court order that specifies access. I don't want to do this for fear of a further altercation. What are my options? Thank you, Jason.
unfortunately my Ex will not allow me to have any other contact than was ordered and says she will never progress it any further.
Please can you advise me on my best course of action as I want to be in my daughters life as much as possible. also I have parental responsibility but she has told me she will not contact me regarding our daughter unless she absolutely has to, so I have no input in her life. please help!!!
Mam and dad are separated....baby lives with mam so how will he know if she has changed baby surname as court order States
I have contacted you before about my ex partner not letting me see my 3 kids which was why I took her to court. My ex partner didn't turn up to court the first time and she wrote on her face book that I forgot my last child DOB which I have corrected in court and told them that it is a prove that she has seen the court order. So I was given another date but my ex partner still didn't turn up to court on the second time, the judge gave me some options bit I picked local authority which he said he had in mind, but am not really too clear about what the local authority would do as my ex partner is not cooperating and also kindly please explain what would happen if she ignores the local authority?
thanks, neil
thanks for your time. tin tin
New car I have to scrimp and save for a xourt order she she has life of rielly
I have a contested 2 hour hearing coming up on the 9th of dec in the PRFD/Central Family Court, London.
It is a children's matter, ex has stopped all contact and is refusing to budge. I am the applicant and would prefer a sharp direct access ( female!) barrister/advocate to represent me.
Any recommendations welcome.
Thanks
QC openly lied/ mislead/gave incorrect information to expert witness in order to get them to change their opinion and agree to their clients move abroad.
Expert witness stated that she would like to see more shared care moving forward as she considered that this was in the childrens best interests.
She also stated "The father alleges that the mother acts unilaterally on parenting issues and I have some sympathy for his view".
Rather than proceed with trying for full custody of the children, my barrister stated to me and my solicitor on the first day of the hearing that as the expert witness(private social worker) states that she would like to see a more shared arrangement moving forward the court would probably look more favourably on an application for shared care. Based on my barrister and solicitoris opinions we changed my application.
The expert witness said under oath that this made her change her mind and that it was there for in the childrens best interests to move overseas.
So here am I,devastated,utterly distraught, and wondering how barristers can lie in court and how justice in family courts is only for mothers and the wealthy because I was up against both.
So anyway she's broken the contact order, my partner is now worried about the future he adores his daughter and he's been through hell, he was wondering when he goes back to family court can he ask to see her on birthdays and Christmases?
please help im stuck
however, despite the fact that im dealing with my ex more effectively these days, your info and draft letters are still of immense value
thank you
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