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Forum Rules and Code of Conduct

By: Clare Birtles - Updated: 26 Feb 2024 | comments*Discuss
Forum Code Of Conduct Forum Rules

We hope that members will find support, advice, humour and friendly conversation here. To ensure that happens smoothly, we have created a brief code of conduct for members. It's not long and rambling, so please take time to read it, before posting.

Separated Dads Forum Code of Conduct

(1) Language/Defamatory Remarks

Do not post anything that could be construed as racist, homophobic, sexist, harassment, pornographic or abusive.

Anybody can read this forum, so please do not use sexually explicit language or swear words

(2) Personal Information

Please do not use names in your posts (e.g. those of spouses, professionals, ex partners, children etc); you may be putting other people and yourself at risk by doing so. If you have an ongoing court case or dispute, anything you say that identifies you or other the parties may also be prejudicial to the process and might influence your desired outcome. Our moderators will remove or edit posts deemed to identify a person or their children.

(3) Personal Attacks

Do not make personal attacks on other forum members.

If another discussion member makes a personal/abusive remark directed at you, do not respond with a similar attack of your own. Contact the administrator or a moderator.

(4) Links/Self Advertising

Posts will be removed if we feel a link or comment has been posted as a means of self advertising, self promotion, or which we consider to be spam.

Only post links/urls which are on topic and of use to other forum members.

(5) Discussion Topics

Only post a thread once, under the appropriate forum topic. Duplicate threads will be removed. Please keep discussions on topic. If you want to talk about something that is not relevant to the current thread, create a new one.

Take me to The Separated Dads Forum

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Hi all, I have attached my proposal for a final order on arrangements regarding my 16 month old son below. Is this suitable and reasonable for him? 1.      Week 1 (i)              Wednesday from 3pm overnight to Thursday 8.30am return to Mother or childcare/nursery/school. (ii)             Friday from 3pm to Sunday 5pm collect from Mother or childcare/nursery/school and return to Mother. 2.      Week 2 (i)              Wednesday from 3pm overnight to Thursday 8.30am return to Mother or childcare/nursery/school. (ii)             Every other Friday 3pm – 7pm collect from Mother or childcare/nursery/school and return to Mother. Every other Saturday 10am – 4pm collect from the Mother. I currently see him every Wednesday 4hrs Every other Friday 4 hrs, Saturday 5pm - Sunday 5pm Every other Friday 3pm - Saturday 5pm So, we are close to finalising the order. Only the mother and I are in disagreement about our views on arrangements. My proposal has a long term view as I think it is best not to have to return to court, if I agreed with the mother's current proposal to keep arrangements as is I feel down the line I would have to go back to court to change arrangements. I simply do not want to return to court. Since April 23 I have had slowly but progressively built up consistent time with my 16 month old so. From early January (6 nights so far) the mother agreed that he could stay once weekly overnight rotating Fridays and Saturdays. This has been really great for the heart. There has been absolutely no issues, he is more than happy and routine is absolutely spot on every week. I don't see any signs of separation anxiety either which is great. In the mother's position she states that our son is 'struggling' with over nights, he is 'unstable' when returning from an overnight and he cries regularly at handovers. I have proof that he does not cry at handovers and I believe the other points are untrue. An attempt to build her argument that he should not stay full weekends 'yet'. The mother had not once notified me about any of the above after handovers or the following days. The position was set through legal representative. The mother also worries that he may be overwhelmed by spending 48hours away from her at one time, I do consider this could be possible but we won't know until we try and it is upto us to manage this. Of course I want more time and to be involved as much as possible the care of my son(I also work over 40 hours per week). More importantly, i want what is best for my son. I'm writing this post because I want honest opinions on my proposal from fellow fathers that may have experienced something similar or even if you haven't. Is the proposal suitable for a 16month old boy? Will it have a positive or negative impact on him? Would a judge consider it if the decision had to be made by them? Hope to get some feedback and hopefully this post can help some of you other fellas on here. Ch
The dogg - 26-Feb-24 @ 12:43 AM
I have a court order but I'm looking to buy a house and move my job to an hour away from the children meaning I won't be able to have the children for the midweek Wednesday night care. I've asked the mother for extra time in holidays but she's unwilling. The court declared that the children 'spend time with me' not that they 'live with me'. With mother as the primary carer, can I move house and drop the Wednesday regardless or does this need to be agreed by mother/court?
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I’m looking for advice Iv got my first court date about my son. Iv already tryed Mediation And had a four hour zoom call about separated parents. Done by cafcass. Now I’m wanting to know what information I need for court ?? Thank you
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+27603483377 TOP ONL - 29-Sep-22 @ 7:32 PM
My involvement with the UK family court system was many years ago though having read comments on this website recently matters do not seem to have improved. I have a different view to most as to the changes necessary though cant kid you my views have found many supporters to date, (here in the UK or across the western world)
grahamg - 11-Sep-22 @ 1:14 AM
My involvement with the UK family court system was many years ago though having read comments on this website recently matters do not seem to have improved. I have a different view to most as to thee changes necessary though cant kid you my views have found many supporters to date, (here in the UK or across the western world)
grahamg - 11-Sep-22 @ 1:12 AM
I have registered 6 weeks ago but I have not received activation code so unable to post comments. Any assistance??
Zibaalah - 30-Sep-21 @ 7:53 AM
Hi. Cannot register. No account confirmation email was received Please help Thank you
Wdy1927 - 16-Sep-21 @ 9:00 AM
I'm trying to register but it says I'm a spammer? Any help from admins plz
Cj5277 - 21-Aug-21 @ 11:56 AM
I'm trying to register for help and advise but says I'm a spammers.please help I so need some advice at my wits end
Ashtruck - 19-Aug-21 @ 7:46 AM
Also unable to register on the forums and system thinks I maybe a spammer. No email to contact
Dancaw - 18-Aug-21 @ 8:53 PM
I too am trying to register as need some advice and can’t as says I’m s spammer….. I’m guessing there’s a glitch with the system…!??? How do you contact an administrator to raise the issue if you can’t register…!!?? I came here for help with frustration not to add to it..!!!?????????
Progolfer - 28-Jun-21 @ 12:20 PM
Gegensätze ziehen sich von Natur aus an und so wie Männer es lieben, die Weichheit im Körper und in den Organen der Frau zu genießen, wollen Frauen die Härte und Steifheit des Mannes sowohl außen als auch innen spüren und erleben Ein Kamagra-Kaufenstellt sicher, dass die Weibchen von ihren Männchen das bekommen, was sie wollen und die Härte, die sie verdienen
Andrewank - 19-Jun-21 @ 9:57 AM
Trying to register to the forum but it keeps telling me that I'm assumed to be a spammer. I'm clearly not but can't find any way of contacting the administrator. Thanks.
Dan - 2-Jun-21 @ 6:05 PM
Please allow sign up, no activation link was sent
Kane - 29-May-21 @ 7:53 AM
I’m trying to register on the forum as I need some advice for my partner but it says I’m a spammer and doesn’t let me join. Can anyone help with this please?
Magpie - 31-Mar-21 @ 7:48 PM
I think it is dangerous for you to accept people onto this website, and apparently their new narcissistic supplies... There are ongoing court cases...people referring to affairs that started way before families knew or the mistresses...innocent parties that have been severely traumatised and diagnosed with complex PTSD. There are abusers who seek to attack from any angle. Will it take someone committing suicide over an irresponsible website allowing abusers to congregate for this content to be verified? Maybe a lawsuit will help you realise the imbalance you encourage. How about providing support to both parties rather than further ostracized men vs women, where many times men will have cheated or been abusive...keep out of it! I speak from personal experience whereby I tried everything to enable contact and the alcoholic dad abused that privilege...narcissist triangulation, withholding maintenance ( with multiple emails stating his intentions to do so)....not all men but many men on here are abusers who are enabled by whoever runs this site and others that are similar
Eeb - 24-Feb-21 @ 1:07 AM
Hi I am unable to log in the the forum so I am posting this here instead! I am looking to interview separated fathers about their lockdown experience Hi, I am a final year Social Sciences student at UCL studying the lockdown experiences of separated fathers as part of my dissertation. This research aims to explore the effects of the COVID-19 lockdown measures on fathers who have been separated and living apart from their children. Separated fathers come in all shapes and sizes. Many are non-resident, living either part-time or full-time in a different home to their children, whereas others have more flexible arrangements which may have been impacted by lockdown and social distancing measures. This study focuses on fathers who were separated and living apart from their children before the first UK lockdown (March 23rd) so as to compare your experiences from before and during lockdown. Participants should be living in the UK and have at least one child aged 16 or under who does not permanently reside with them. I am looking to speak to separated fathers specifically as most family research in the Social Science discipline focuses on mothers and I wish to fill this gap in knowledge, especially in relation to separated father wellbeing. Due to this its super important to expand the global understanding of fatherhood in all its forms and hear your experiences and opinions, specifically in the context of the unprecedented COVID-19 pandemic. The study will involve a one hour interview using phone or zoom depending on your preference. The interview can be arranged for whatever time suits you best over the next few weeks. All your data will be kept confidential and anonymous throughout the study in accordance with UCL Data Protection Policy. If you would be interested in participating or would like more information about the study please email me at: stnvhmh@ucl.ac.uk. If you fit this description and would be willing to participate or know someone who does please let me know. I looking forward to hearing from you! Hannah Hasler
Hannah - 22-Feb-21 @ 11:23 AM
I’m having the same problem; try to register and it thinks I’m a spammer and won’t let me ???????
Grimm - 21-Feb-21 @ 9:58 PM
I am really looking for help but I can't register on the forum because it says I am spam when I try to register. Please help
Steve - 21-Feb-21 @ 6:50 PM
I can’t register it says I’m a spammer and to contact admin but I can’t find it anywhere , can anyone help ? Thanks
Liverpool1989 - 14-Feb-21 @ 8:33 PM
Hi, Can someone help? I used to be able login to the forum but now it says my account isn’t active or I’ve been suspended? I’ve no idea why. Could someone have a look for me please?
Chester copperpot - 18-Jan-21 @ 4:18 PM
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