Arranging to Take Your Child on Holiday

Originally written by Emma Jones, updated by the editorial team on 29th March 2026

Taking your child away on holiday gives you a great opportunity to spend some quality time together and build some lasting memories. As eager as you may be to do this, you are going to have to co-ordinate with your ex to make the process run smoothly and keep her happy. Make sure you leave yourself enough time to work out any glitches and hopefully you will soon be off on a fun packed holiday.

If you need to formally request holiday dates from your ex, you can quickly create a clear, professional message using our free Letter Builder.

Plan in Advance

Deciding to take your children away at the last minute is not going to go down well with your ex and just leaves you open for things to go wrong and her to hold them against you. Think about when their school holidays are and leave enough time to finalise the details so everyone is happy.

Check Commitments

Has your child got a football match or ballet show planned? Are they going to miss their best friend’s birthday? Is your ex planning to take them to see their Grandma? You need to co-ordinate all your diaries so that you can find a time that best suits you all.

Letter Builder

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Ask Your Ex

In an ideal world you would be able to take your children wherever you wanted without asking permission from anyone. However, in reality it is best to keep relations smooth so that you do not work against yourself. By asking your ex for permission you are showing her respect and hopefully she will reciprocate by agreeing. (Read our article on the Rules Of Negotiating With Your Ex on this site.)

Negotiate Time

So you want to take them away for 3 weeks to India and your ex would prefer 3 days in Cornwall. Sit down with her and try to negotiate a compromise by calmly pointing out the pros of your plan. Make sure that you acknowledge and accept any concerns that she may have and try to find some middle ground.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Ask Your Children

While your ideal holiday might be cycling through France you need to think about what your children would enjoy. Ask them where they would like to visit or what their favourite activities are. Then you can do some research and plan the trip together so that they can get excited about it.

Lessen the Distance

Although your children have probably spent time away from their mum when staying with you before, they may not have left her for an extended amount of time. Think about this in advance, take a photo, their favourite home comfort and make it easy for them to contact her if they want to.

When you are planning a holiday with your children you need to think about their needs but also consider the opinions and concerns of your ex. You want her to be supportive of your plans so tread carefully, ask her permission and try to negotiate a plan that everybody is happy with. It can be a great time to share with your children and if this one goes well, then hopefully you can plan many more over the years.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Letter Builder lets you generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →

Showing 20 of 51 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

SeparatedDads Editor 28/03/2026 at 3:59 pm

@Anmar I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially with your child looking forward to the trip. It must be heartbreaking to see them disappointed. Given the urgency and that you've already been to court about this before, you really need immediate legal advice. Contact your solicitor straight away if you have one, or call around family law firms today to see if anyone can help urgently. Some courts do have emergency procedures for situations like this. If you can't get legal help immediately, Citizens Advice might be able to point you in the right direction. Keep documenting everything, including your ex's refusal and your child's distress, as this could be important later. Stay strong for your child and don't give up.

Anmar 24/07/2022 at 5:33 pm

Hello, my ex refuses to pass on my child’s passport even though I have her all the traveling details as requested. I have everything booked and after playing along for weeks she now refuses to pass it on basing her excuses on lies and exaggerations. Not the first time. I took her to court before over this matter in the past, when the judge forced her to pass it on but there was never a consequence on her. Now I have a distressed child that dreamt of this trip and can’t do it. Is there any urgent-court way to get it? I do have PR.

KDee 29/06/2019 at 4:52 pm

Hi, I am currently separated from my husband, he moved out of the house and in with his mistress initially in December 2018 and subsequently around 24 January 2019. When he initially moved out, he said he would like to be actively involved in the lives of his children such as taking the oldest son to Piano and music lessons. I agreed however in Feb 2019, when we usually take the children on half term holiday he decided to take his mistress on holiday. This upset our oldest son and also on the boy's birthday he did not call and has not seen his children since then. At a point in April he came round wanting to take the kids out and the oldest (7 yrs) refused to go with him. Witnesses asked him to come in and warm up to the boy but he refused. He wanted to take the youngest son (4 years) but I refused as we have never separated them before. Then my children's father started cutting the childrens expense that he usually covered in the house which let me to filling for child Maintenance. This prompted him to take me to MAIMs the time MAIM was bale to see me was not convenient and the time I was available she was unavailable so I was unable to make mediation. Through the help of a solicitor friend, I was advised to draft up an agreement to send to him which gives him 50% access (something I did not originally want to do but I had some much going on and emotions to deal with plus coming to terms with the betrayal) but I agreed reluctantly without thinking it through. He has now agreed to this offer and waiting for the final agreement to be sent to him. Given our oldest son have refused to go with him a couple of times and after inviting him over to come and try and win the boy he refused. What are my chances? I don't want him to have 50% access as my son has refused to go with him or even be around him on 3 different occasion now. if the oldest is not going, i don't want him to take the youngest son. As we have not signed any agreement, can i suggest he comes and tries to take the boy out first? Also he has not confirmed where he is living ( he keeps denying the fact that he is living with his mistress) do I have a right to know where he lives as that's where my children will be staying?

Miles 04/10/2018 at 5:07 am

My ex partner and I have an 8 year old. Been separated over 7 years. Planning on visiting South America in a few months time. I have asked for permission to take my child away, however she has refused to consent unless she gets to see which hotels I plan to stay at, am I obliged to share this information with her at this stage? If I was to seek a court order to get permission to take my child away, would the court side with her on this basis? And with hold consent on the basis she needs to approve the hotels/accommodation first? Been away aboard several times before and she has never asked to see which hotels we planned to stay at, and there has never been an issue with the hotels either. I have assured her I would book a safe and clean place,

Sean 22/07/2018 at 10:02 pm

Hi all.
Both myself and ex wife have anagreement for regular contact and holiday contact as well. On our Scottish court agreement we have both have the right to take the kids on holiday abroad. She has since been on 3 holidays aboard including 1 to Florida.
I have saving and working all the hours I can to take the kids to forida in less than 3 months. She has known this for sometime and has just recently returned from holiday.
She is now refusing to give me the children’s passports. So I can start getting organised for our holiday. I really don’t know what to do now.

SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2018 at 2:40 pm

If you are taking your child abroad, you would have to get permission.

Patricia 14/07/2018 at 7:31 pm

Hi,
I'm taking my son on holiday for 10 nights just wondering do I need permission from his dad? Baring in mind he doesn't see his son at all.

SeparatedDads Editor 26/04/2018 at 11:57 am

Your partner does not have to seek the father's permission to take her child on holiday in the UK (after she has given the month's notice). Only if she plans to take her child out of the UK, would she need the father's written consent. The order should revert back to the the terms of the order post-holiday (unless the parents agree otherwise). Any 'changes' to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. I hope this helps answer your question.

Everton 25/04/2018 at 5:06 pm

Hi, I asked a question on the 29th March that as yet has not been answered but would greatly appreciate any thoughts from anyone who may be able to help with advice

SeparatedDads Editor 24/04/2018 at 10:05 am

Even though you have a court order, you would still need to seek permission from the other parent with PR

Nikcos 23/04/2018 at 3:07 pm

We have a child arrangement order which states that we have my step daughter for half of the school holidays can we take her abroad on our time or do we need separate permission from the mother... Even though we have the cao

Israr 30/03/2018 at 7:59 am

Hi

Me and my ex don’t have any child agreement in place 2 girls living with her 2boys living with me

Can I take my boys holidays with out her permission for one week?

Everton 29/03/2018 at 4:14 pm

My partner has a child arrangements order and has a residency order for her daughter. Dad has overnights on every Wednesday and alternate weekends . Regarding holidays the order says that they are both allowed to takenter holidays with there daughter but need to provide a months notice. My first question is having supplied a months notice does she need his permission to take the daughter on holiday in the UK. Also once the holiday is taken is she required to let dad make up any lost time or just revert back to the routine of the order because there isn't anything in the order that makes comment on making up lost time. Thanks for any help

SeparatedDads Editor 12/02/2018 at 10:11 am

You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad. You can take a child abroad for 28 days without getting permission if a child arrangement order says the child must live with you, unless a court order says you can’t. You can see more which

CFG 11/02/2018 at 12:12 pm

Me and my ex partner have been spilt for over a year; he doesn’t like my new partner and we have just book to go on holiday with my 2 year old for a week. Do I need to ask my ex partner for permission to take my daughter to Spain? My daughter dad takes my daughter 3 days a week for 2 hours each time. Can he stop us going on holiday?

SeparatedDads Editor 22/01/2018 at 12:32 pm

It is not selfish that you do not wish your child to miss the first and most important week of school. Also, you have to get permission from the head teacher if you want to take your child out of school during term time

Sara 21/01/2018 at 6:58 pm

my daughter starts school in september and her dad ( my ex) has told me he has booked a week holiday abroad and booked for her to come with his partner and her 3 boys , She never sleeps at his ( her choice) I’ve told him if it was the 6 weeks holiday yes. But as she is starting school no, he said am selfish and hates the fact she is missing out on a all inclusive family holiday I think starting school is a very special and emotional time. Am I wrong and selfish to not let her go

SeparatedDads Editor 06/11/2017 at 1:50 pm

You can see more whichwhich will tell you all you need to know.

Mumof4 04/11/2017 at 8:36 pm

Hi, after advice, my son has started seeing his father (the child born march 2015) only since August 2017, I have agreed for him to take our son to Disneyland Paris with his wife and other children but he is now saying he needs to be on the birth certificate, even after adding my son to his holiday and paying for his passport, what I need to know is does he need to be on the certificate as the child has different surname but so does two of the other children they will be taking, thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 29/08/2017 at 12:52 pm

You are not under any obligation to pay for clothing towards the holiday. If your ex is taking them on holiday, unless you agree otherwise, it is up to him to provide/buy clothing for them. The money he pays you as child maintenance is for their general 'day-to-day' needs.

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