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Arranging to Take Your Child on Holiday

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 24 Jul 2022 | comments*Discuss
 
Holiday Child Ex Planning Negotiate

Taking your child away on holiday gives you a great opportunity to spend some quality time together and build some lasting memories. As eager as you may be to do this, you are going to have to co-ordinate with your ex to make the process run smoothly and keep her happy. Make sure you leave yourself enough time to work out any glitches and hopefully you will soon be off on a fun packed holiday.

Plan in Advance

Deciding to take your children away at the last minute is not going to go down well with your ex and just leaves you open for things to go wrong and her to hold them against you. Think about when their school holidays are and leave enough time to finalise the details so everyone is happy.

Check Commitments

Has your child got a football match or ballet show planned? Are they going to miss their best friend’s birthday? Is your ex planning to take them to see their Grandma? You need to co-ordinate all your diaries so that you can find a time that best suits you all.

Ask Your Ex

In an ideal world you would be able to take your children wherever you wanted without asking permission from anyone. However, in reality it is best to keep relations smooth so that you do not work against yourself. By asking your ex for permission you are showing her respect and hopefully she will reciprocate by agreeing. (Read our article on the Rules Of Negotiating With Your Ex on this site.)

Negotiate Time

So you want to take them away for 3 weeks to India and your ex would prefer 3 days in Cornwall. Sit down with her and try to negotiate a compromise by calmly pointing out the pros of your plan. Make sure that you acknowledge and accept any concerns that she may have and try to find some middle ground.

Ask Your Children

While your ideal holiday might be cycling through France you need to think about what your children would enjoy. Ask them where they would like to visit or what their favourite activities are. Then you can do some research and plan the trip together so that they can get excited about it.

Lessen the Distance

Although your children have probably spent time away from their mum when staying with you before, they may not have left her for an extended amount of time. Think about this in advance, take a photo, their favourite home comfort and make it easy for them to contact her if they want to.

When you are planning a holiday with your children you need to think about their needs but also consider the opinions and concerns of your ex. You want her to be supportive of your plans so tread carefully, ask her permission and try to negotiate a plan that everybody is happy with. It can be a great time to share with your children and if this one goes well, then hopefully you can plan many more over the years.

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Hello, my ex refuses to pass on my child’s passport even though I have her all the traveling details as requested. I have everything booked and after playing along for weeks she now refuses to pass it on basing her excuses on lies and exaggerations. Not the first time. I took her to court before over this matter in the past, when the judge forced her to pass it on but there was never a consequence on her. Now I have a distressed child that dreamt of this trip and can’t do it. Is there any urgent-court way to get it? I do have PR.
Anmar - 24-Jul-22 @ 5:33 PM
Hi, I am currently separated from my husband, he moved out of the house and in with his mistress initially in December 2018 and subsequently around 24 January 2019. When he initially moved out, he said he would like to be actively involved in the lives of his children such as taking the oldest son to Piano and music lessons. I agreed however in Feb 2019, when we usually take the children on half term holiday he decided to take his mistress on holiday. This upset our oldest son and also on the boy's birthday he did not call and has not seen his children since then. At a point in April he came round wanting to take the kids out and the oldest (7 yrs) refused to go with him. Witnesses asked him to come in and warm up to the boy but he refused. He wanted to take the youngest son (4 years) but I refused as we have never separated them before. Then my children's father started cutting the childrens expense that he usually covered in the house which let me to filling for child Maintenance. This prompted him totake me to MAIMs the time MAIM was bale to see me was not convenient and the time I was available she was unavailable so I was unable to make mediation. Through the help of a solicitor friend, I was advised to draft up an agreement to send to him which gives him 50% access (something I did not originally want to do but I had some much going on and emotions to deal with plus coming to terms with the betrayal) but I agreed reluctantly without thinking it through. He has now agreed to this offer and waiting for the final agreement to be sent to him. Given our oldest son have refused to go with him a couple of times and after inviting him over to come and try and win the boy he refused. What are my chances? I don't want him to have 50% access as my son has refused to go with him or even be around him on 3 different occasion now. if the oldest is not going, i don't want him to take the youngest son. As we have not signed any agreement, can i suggest he comes and tries to take the boy out first? Also he has not confirmed where he is living ( he keeps denying the fact that he is living with his mistress) do I have a right to know where he lives as that's where my children will be staying?
KDee - 29-Jun-19 @ 4:52 PM
My ex partner and I have an 8 year old. Been separated over 7 years. Planning on visiting South Americain a few months time. I have asked for permission to take my child away, however she has refused to consent unless she gets to see which hotels I plan to stay at, am I obliged to share this information with her at this stage? If I was to seek a court order to get permission to take my child away, would the court side with her on this basis? And with hold consent on the basis she needs to approve the hotels/accommodation first? Been away aboard several times before and she has never asked to see which hotels we planned to stay at, and there has never been an issue with the hotels either. I have assured her I would book a safe and clean place,
Miles - 4-Oct-18 @ 5:07 AM
Hi all. Both myself and ex wife have anagreement for regular contact and holiday contact as well. On our Scottish court agreement we have both have the right to take the kids on holiday abroad. She has since been on 3 holidays aboard including 1 to Florida. I have saving and working all the hours I can to take the kids to forida in less than 3 months. She has known this for sometime and has just recently returned from holiday. She is now refusing to give me the children’s passports. So I can start getting organised for our holiday. I really don’t know what to do now.
Sean - 22-Jul-18 @ 10:02 PM
Patricia - Your Question:
Hi,I'm taking my son on holiday for 10 nights just wondering do I need permission from his dad? Baring in mind he doesn't see his son at all.

Our Response:
If you are taking your child abroad, you would have to get permission. Please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 17-Jul-18 @ 2:40 PM
Hi, I'm taking my son on holiday for 10 nights just wondering do I need permission from his dad? Baring in mind he doesn't see his son at all.
Patricia - 14-Jul-18 @ 7:31 PM
Everton - Your Question:
Hi, I asked a question on the 29th March that as yet has not been answered but would greatly appreciate any thoughts from anyone who may be able to help with advice

Our Response:
Your partner does not have to seek the father's permission to take her child on holiday in the UK (after she has given the month's notice). Only if she plans to take her child out of the UK, would she need the father's written consent. The order should revert back to the the terms of the order post-holiday (unless the parents agree otherwise). Any 'changes' to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. I hope this helps answer your question.
SeparatedDads - 26-Apr-18 @ 11:57 AM
Hi, I asked a question on the 29th March that as yet has not been answered but would greatly appreciate any thoughts from anyone who may be able to help with advice
Everton - 25-Apr-18 @ 5:06 PM
Nikcos - Your Question:
We have a child arrangement order which states that we have my step daughter for half of the school holidays can we take her abroad on our time or do we need separate permission from the mother. Even though we have the cao

Our Response:
Even though you have a court order, you would still need to seek permission from the other parent with PR, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 24-Apr-18 @ 10:05 AM
We have a child arrangement order which states that we have my step daughter for half of the school holidays can we take her abroad on our time or do we need separate permission from the mother... Even though we have the cao
Nikcos - 23-Apr-18 @ 3:07 PM
Hi Me and my ex don’t have any child agreement in place 2 girls living with her 2boys living with me Can I take my boys holidays with out her permission for one week?
Israr - 30-Mar-18 @ 7:59 AM
My partner has a child arrangements order and has a residency order for her daughter. Dad has overnights on every Wednesday and alternate weekends .Regarding holidays the order says that they are both allowed to takenter holidays with there daughter but need to provide a months notice. My first question is having supplied a months notice does she need his permission to take the daughter on holiday in the UK.Also once the holiday is taken is she required to let dad make up any lost time or just revert back to the routine of the order because there isn't anything in the order that makes comment on making up lost time. Thanks for any help
Everton - 29-Mar-18 @ 4:14 PM
CFG - Your Question:
Me and my ex partner have been spilt for over a year; he doesn’t like my new partner and we have just book to go on holiday with my 2 year old for a week. Do I need to ask my ex partner for permission to take my daughter to Spain? My daughter dad takes my daughter 3 days a week for 2 hours each time. Can he stop us going on holiday?

Our Response:
You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad. You can take a child abroad for 28 days without getting permission if a child arrangement order says the child must live with you, unless a court order says you can’t. You can see more via the gov.uk link here.
SeparatedDads - 12-Feb-18 @ 10:11 AM
Me and my ex partner have been spilt for over a year; he doesn’t like my new partner and we have just book to go on holiday with my 2 year old for a week. Do I need to ask my ex partner for permission to take my daughter to Spain? My daughter dad takes my daughter 3 days a week for 2 hours each time. Can he stop us going on holiday?
CFG - 11-Feb-18 @ 12:12 PM
Sara - Your Question:
My daughter starts school in september and her dad ( my ex) has told me he has booked a week holiday abroad and booked for her to come with his partner and her 3 boys , She never sleeps at his ( her choice) I’ve told him if it was the 6 weeks holiday yes. But as she is starting school no, he said am selfish and hates the fact she is missing out on a all inclusive family holiday I think starting school is a very special and emotional time. Am I wrong and selfish to not let her go

Our Response:
It is not selfish that you do not wish your child to miss the first and most important week of school. Also, you have to get permission from the head teacher if you want to take your child out of school during term time, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 22-Jan-18 @ 12:32 PM
my daughter starts school in september and her dad ( my ex) has told me he has booked a week holiday abroad and booked for her to come with his partner and her 3 boys , She never sleeps at his ( her choice)I’ve told him if it was the 6 weeks holiday yes. But as she is starting school no,he said am selfish and hates the fact she is missing out on a all inclusive family holidayI think starting school is a very special and emotional time. Am I wrong and selfish to not let her go
Sara - 21-Jan-18 @ 6:58 PM
Mumof4- Your Question:
Hi, after advice, my son has started seeing his father (the child born march 2015) only since August 2017, I have agreed for him to take our son to Disneyland Paris with his wife and other children but he is now saying he needs to be on the birth certificate, even after adding my son to his holiday and paying for his passport, what I need to know is does he need to be on the certificate as the child has different surname but so does two of the other children they will be taking, thanks

Our Response:
You can see more via the gov.uk link here , which will tell you all you need to know.
SeparatedDads - 6-Nov-17 @ 1:50 PM
Hi, after advice, my son has started seeing his father (the child born march 2015)only since August 2017, I have agreed for him to take our son to Disneyland Paris with his wife and other children but he is now saying he needs to be on the birth certificate, even after adding my son to his holiday and paying for his passport, what I need to know is does he need to be on the certificate as the child has different surname but so does two of the other children they will be taking, thanks
Mumof4 - 4-Nov-17 @ 8:36 PM
Taz - Your Question:
I take our kids on holiday every yr and never once ask my ex to help pay for it or clothes for the trip. My ex is taking them on their first holiday in 6yrs and now demanding I go to the expense of buying all their holiday clothes for the trip he is taking them on.He pays me £65 a wk when it suits him.fir 3 kids.Am I expected to go to the expense to buy these clothes. Thank you

Our Response:
You are not under any obligation to pay for clothing towards the holiday. If your ex is taking them on holiday, unless you agree otherwise, it is up to him to provide/buy clothing for them. The money he pays you as child maintenance is for their general 'day-to-day' needs.
SeparatedDads - 29-Aug-17 @ 12:52 PM
I take our kids on holiday every yr and never once ask my ex to help pay for it or clothes for the trip. My ex is taking them on their first holiday in 6yrs and now demanding I go to the expense of buying all their holiday clothes for the trip he is taking them on... He pays me £65 a wk when it suits him ..fir 3 kids.. Am I expected to go to the expense to buy these clothes. Thank you
Taz - 27-Aug-17 @ 4:43 PM
I have followed all of your negotiation advice regards holiday arrangements. I have planned a 10 day trip with my sons who will be 9 and 11 to Asia, visiting Hong Kong and Shanghai and provided a full itinerary.I am also flying to the uk to pick my sons up and will fly home on their return also. My ex is saying she will not allow the boys to go to China, yet gives no reasons. It has been 2 years since my last holiday with my sons which was to cancun in Mexico and I had the same issues then, it was a nightmare yet eventually the boys were allowed to come. What can I do ? Can my ex stop them from coming on holiday and visiting China ? Please help.
Razzle - 13-Jun-17 @ 1:40 AM
345 - Your Question:
We have planned a trip to Cornwall last minute my ex wife has said my daughter can't go we have been split 7 years and my daughter has lived with with 50/50 since. We go in four days what can I do she's telling me I can't take her

Our Response:
I'm afraid there is little you can do legally in this short space of time. If there is a court order in place allowing you access and holidays, you may be able to ask a solicitor to write a letter to remind your ex about the terms of the court order and the repercussions if she attempts to breach it. If you have parental responsibility, while you do not need permission from your ex to take your child on holiday and the police cannot intervene, it is never a good idea to do so without agreement, as it can quite easily backfire. Hopefully, the matter will resolve itself by the time you go and your ex will reconsider - but if it doesn't you may have to leave your daughter behind.
SeparatedDads - 23-May-17 @ 2:46 PM
We have planned a trip to Cornwall last minute my ex wife has said my daughter can't go we have been split 7 years and my daughter has lived with with 50/50 since. We go in four days what can I do she's telling me I can't take her
345 - 23-May-17 @ 7:44 AM
Evening Advise please I've been divorced for 4 years separated 5 years and this year I'm hoping to take my 3 children (8,13,15) abroad for the first time in 5 years I've offered to pay for new passports and the 13 year old actually has a trip with his school to France in the spring . She's aware that my plans are to go to Italy for a week in the summer holidays I have joint parental responsibility Can she stop me in any way just to be nasty ?( she has in the past been bitter )
D666 - 5-Mar-17 @ 7:05 PM
My son seperated from his wife of six years four years ago he was the one that eneded the relationship as he felt it would be cruel to carry on as he did not love her as he should there marriage resulted in two beautiful children girl and a boy 9 and 6. He now lives with his partner and they have gone on to have a son he is 18 months. My son tries very hard to be a great dad to his children he pays his x for his children without fail also they have there own bedroom he buys them clothes toys shoes ect and has them every friday and saturday and every other week a sunday also. Along side that i have them thursday night and take them to school friday morning and collect friday evening and my son then collects them from me after work the children adore there little brother and they love being together. But my x daughter in law keepschanging things to suit herself we are very flexible with her i have them at the drop of a hat whenever she asks and where possible so does my son but its my grandsons birthday and she has just messaged him saying your not having him on friday or saturday when my son messaged her and said you can not do that its my day withthem she says tuff have him on sunday but he has school monday so he will only get to see him for a few hours can she keep doing this we are all so accomadating to her but she still sends my son txt all the time starting arguments he will get a txt everyweek after he drops them home with some snotty comment it is never ending what can we do
Loraine hook - 10-Feb-17 @ 12:33 PM
Hi I have a residency order for my grandson but I was wondering if anybody could let me know if my mother would be able to take my grandson on holiday
Angiemic - 6-Feb-17 @ 2:10 PM
Helz - Your Question:
Hi I need some advice, we have a family holiday booked abroad in3 weeks my son partner granddaughter and my daughter grandson and 2 family friends yesterday my sons partner said she is not going and our granddaughter can't go. She had agreed to everything even to me paying for the passport for my granddaughter and her and my son have fallen out. Does my son have any rights to be able to take his little girl on holiday still, and how to we get this sorted in 3 weeks

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that an application for a Specific Issue Order would be heard in time for your holiday. I can only suggest you seek legal advice regarding this to explore whether you have any options.
SeparatedDads - 30-Aug-16 @ 2:58 PM
Hi I need some advice, we have a family holiday booked abroad in3 weeks my son partner granddaughter and my daughter grandson and 2 family friends yesterday my sons partner said she is not going and our granddaughter can't go.She had agreed to everything even to me paying for the passport for my granddaughter and her and my son have fallen out.Does my son have any rights to be able to take his little girl on holiday still, and how to we get this sorted in 3 weeks
Helz - 30-Aug-16 @ 6:33 AM
Lefthangingdad - Your Question:
Would just like some advice. After a lengthy court battle, I now have a child arrangement order in place for my child of 21 months. This allows me 2 days and an overnight stay every weekend. I believe this is set until school age unless I am mistaken. I was just wondering if I am entitled to holidays since at this age they don't have the structure of school term times. My ex doesn't think I should be allowed extra overnights which would allow me to take my child away. Do I have to wait until my child starts school?? Thanks

Our Response:
If the court order does not specify holidays and your ex does not wish you to take your child on holiday, then you are not entitled to take your child away as you would have to stick to the terms of the order. I hope this answers your question.
SeparatedDads - 14-Jun-16 @ 12:48 PM
Would just like some advice. After a lengthy court battle, I now have a child arrangement order in place for my child of 21 months. This allows me 2 days and an overnight stay every weekend. I believe this is set until school age unless I am mistaken. I was just wondering if I am entitled to holidays since at this age they don't have the structure of school term times. My ex doesn't think I should be allowed extra overnights which would allow me to take my child away. Do I have to wait until my child starts school?? Thanks
Lefthangingdad - 13-Jun-16 @ 5:18 PM
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