Being Falsely Accused of Rape

Author: Lorna Elliott

It is well known that a rape allegation is very easy to make but very difficult to disprove. Despite this, the conviction rate for rape allegations is shockingly low, at around 5% of all complaints made to the police. Often, the only witness is the person who makes the allegation. There is no need to show medical evidence to support the assertion that the complainant has been raped. In a lot of cases, DNA evidence may show that the accused and the victim had intercourse, but the question is that of consent. Because of the nature of rape allegations, it is very often one person’s word against another’s.

If you find yourself facing a false rape accusation, it's crucial to respond strategically and methodically using our free False Allegations Response Planner.

Why Does it Happen?

Unfortunately, allegations of rape can be made flippantly and without any consideration for the consequences. The alleged ‘victim’ could be angry, could have been coached into believing that they were raped, for example, by a counsellor or other professional, or they could simply be trying to shed blame onto someone.

False Allegations Response Planner

Get a step-by-step plan to respond to false allegations. Takes 2 minutes.

Try our False Allegations Response Planner free, here on this site →

How False Allegations Often Start

If a ‘disclosure’ is then made to a third party, that is when the lie begins to gather pace of its own. As people ask more questions, the ‘victim’ can find themselves being given a lot of attention. By the time the proper interview is given to the police, the ‘victim’ may have told their lie so many times that many details about the offence start to surface. This is different from a real allegation of sexual assault, in which the victim’s account generally remains intact throughout the investigation and any subsequent court proceedings. A false allegation changes subtly but rapidly. As a result it is up to the accused to be able to expose the lie, or risk being convicted and facing a prison sentence.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

What Can You Do?

There are two things that you can do to help to get yourself out of this situation: first, be consistent in the way you present your version of events; and second, ask yourself what was going on at the time in the ‘victim’s’ life. Although this might sound strange, and you might think that the last thing you want to do is empathise with the person who has falsely accused you, there is an extremely good reason for doing this. If you can identify what was happening at the time, you are in a better position to find out the reason for the false allegation.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Were they angry with you, or someone else?
Were they going through a particularly stressful time?
What reason did they have for wanting you out of the way?
Were you absent from their life at the time they made the allegation? If this is the case, could it be that they are blaming you or punishing you – when the reality is that it was because you were emotionally or physically absent from them at the time?

If you find the reason for the lie, you can expose the truth.

Read our articles on Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence and Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse on this site.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our False Allegations Response Planner lets you get a step-by-step plan to respond to false allegations. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →

115 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

Al 25/11/2023 at 9:17 pm

I am in the same situation as tge above people. Been with my partner for 34 years. In October 2022 I came home for my lunch break. 15 mins after I sat down for my lunch two female DC entered my house without warrant or invite. They said I was under arrest for rape against my wife who was present in the house. I was totally shocked and numb. I was detained for 13 hours without legal help. Half way through I decided to represent myself without a solicitor. Half way through the interview one of the detectives left the room, came back 15 minutes later and said it was the quickest turn around of a case she knew. The accuser had dropped all charges but I had all my biometrics taken by then. I was released with nfa, but the whole experience has destroyed who I am. My wife Julie had been going through 3 years of mental health issues and I feel it was revenge because I tried “under pressure “ from her family to get her hospitalised that august 2022 and it went badly wrong. She even said she was rapped in Cornwall and drugged, I was 500 miles away at that time and she reported it to Devon police. She had a obsession with police rapist, MPs who was caught, murder and more. Tge police came to my home many times witnessed her outbursts but she fell through the cracks for help. I feel she did what she did to me out of revenge because I tried to get her hospitalised. In January 2023 she was sectioned for 3.5 months in a secure unit instigated by her controlling brother. I did not go through the channels of getting her sectioned as the last time I tried was a total mess by authorities. Now she is out and her brother says I was the one to put her away which isn’t true. I have hard evidence of him “recording “ saying what he did contacting services police and crisis teams. We are now separated but she constantly puts things online about me, fills in forms for support saying I’m a predator, violent, and more. I have spoken to the police and even tried submitting evidence but they will not acknowledge anything or offer me protection, I fear another visit by them and my life is a utter mess with what I’ve experienced. I can’t get any legal help because it’s way too expensive and I suffer server anxiety that totally affects my ability to regular work that I used to have. PLEASE can anyone help or point me to any legal aid organisations that can, my life isn’t my own anymore. Al

A 29/12/2022 at 7:20 pm

I need some help for being accused of rape, the case was dropped in 12 hours with no charge, as the accuser turned her story around. My problem is I contacted acro and the SAR people only to be told my details will be kept on their system for a 100 years, I'm devastated. Please anyone help me.

Benny1 05/06/2021 at 9:21 am

This happened about 6/7 years ago. Back then I was 10/11 and now I'm 16 and people are spreading rumors that I raped the girl. I 100% did not rape or tried to rape anyone.
So this is what happened.
I and the girl were in the same room. By the way, I was 10/11 while she was about 8-10 (I can't remember how old we both were) so the things I did were very dumb and I wish I wasn't in that room. Now the girl was asleep, then I came up close to her. I did not touch her, or did anything bad to her and I don't know why I was even in that room. She woke up screaming saying I tried to force myself on her (As I said, I didn't even touch her). I didn't really know what I was doing back then, but i knew i didn't rape anybody. 6 years later, she told everyone I tried raping her.
She has actually ruined my life. I can't go outside anymore because I feel scared and always get panic attack.
What should I do?

Too Much 16/02/2021 at 1:33 am

Sounds familiar.

My mistake was having a relationship with someone who told me all the bad things her boyfriends did to her previously on our first date in person date. We had been emailing each other for over a year, so I felt the warning bells, but didn't heed them. This was over a decade back when internet dating was new and somewhat primitive.
Long story short, we were together over a decade. I married her and had a child, although having a child was unplanned. Our relationship already had a tendency to self destruct, having a child intensified the stakes.

Guess what happened after we separated. She told everyone exaggerated stories to garner sympathy for her plight. She even tried to get my father to turn against me. Over time the stories got worse. Two years after the divorce settlement, she was throwing the rape word around. She accused me of the R word in a mild dispute over paying for some of my daughter's activities. I volunteered to pay for half. Getting accused out of the blue of rape took my offer to share expenses off the table.

People tell me, "Oh, you could have fought for more time with your daughter" This was during the beginning of "Me Too". It was a "messy divorce", because she got out of the door faster then me. I was mess, I couldn't bear leaving my kid.
I wish I new the one garbage bag rule at the time. Get a hefty leaf bag, fill it with as much as you need, and exit as fast as possible. She got her bags packed faster then me..

I blame myself for exhausting all possibilities with this person. I knew it would end bad, but became too comfortable somehow. I had plenty opportunities to leave prior to having a kid, and I didn't take them.
I can't imagine life without my child. I chose to negotiate to have joint legal custody, and a limited parenting schedule. I needed to get out of her quagmire, and I went through a ton of garbage to do it. It wasn't fair to my kid, but the alternatives were worse.

Gabi 27/10/2020 at 1:43 pm

My nephew has been in a serious relationship with a woman who has a child from a previous relationship. Over the years they spent most of their time together and at the beginning of this year they moved in together. He solely supported them financially, paying the deposit for their rented accommodation, furnished the flat, paid the rent, paid for weekend breaks/family holidays etc., as she did not have any income herself. However, two months ago she broke up the relationship with the reason that he has done nothing but mentally abuse her and didn't do enough for her daughter. They decided to go their separate ways and he moved out only to establish two weeks later that she was in a new relationship. She was also supposed to be an inpatient within a psychiatric unit but then informed him that she no longer needed it as she is receiving regular counselling sessions. She has now contacted him two days ago asking him for assistance with some forms for the job centre etc., to which he agreed. They met in a public place when she all of a sudden said to him that she wanted an electrical item, which he paid for and has the receipt for, and said you either give me this item or I go to the police and tell them that you have been raping me over the past 2 years! My nephew is obviously absolutely distraught as this accusation is absolutely absurd, what would you advice?

Bricole23092017 25/09/2020 at 4:14 pm

What interests me is so many people are ‘fasely’ accused. If they are or not the truth is always easy to find. Support them and they will get through false allegations of there is no evidence they will be fine.
My ex plays the falsify card, makes everyone believe she is innoccent.
The worst part about it she rang my phone prior to the rape occurring as she couldn’t find me when she pulled up at my house, she forgot t ok hang up when she saw me and recorded 3 minutes - the beginning of the rape
She threatened me with a skateboard, she broke my nose in two places I was screaming for her to stop and said please stop please stop 6 times.once she was done she left me laying in my own blood disorientated and took off to her male fiancé that I didn’t know about.
Everyone accused me of lying or didn’t believe me and believed she was falsely accused. I have it on recording, I have the evidence including the time and the date.
March 7th - worst thing is I listen to it all the time. Support both sides. Don’t judge. Intense emotions and excruciating to live with either way.

Karan 18/09/2020 at 8:25 pm

Please kindly do the job needfully
Myself Dipkumar Pal Hopefully waiting foryour decision because there is stiil chance for me same like before or otherwise I'm been threatened by Ramsagar Mishra.. Please save my life before it destroys...??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Please I beg in front of you for my future

Chris 15/07/2020 at 9:55 pm

@law-truth.(sound advice).but for me I don’t speak to her mother (Never will again )years ago I sent messages but I been to court for that had( my punishment ).i really don’t think they could accuse me of rape I haven’t seen them in 11 years .truth said here I wouldn’t sleep with that women even if it was consensual that’s( gods truth) .

Law-truth 15/07/2020 at 6:18 pm

This is what happend to me but I still had my kid and her kid in my care then she said this but now proven false and malicious in family court that they can NOT charge her,
When this child case I.e 2 years now ends, I will have the person charged with false allegations and the police will then do there bit for wasting police time and more on top,

If it happens to you just tell the truth and NO Matter what if you still spk to your ex even if nice no matter how long (Secretly record or video everything and keep all text and email to cloud) YOU WILL NEED IT IN THE FUTURE, BE SAFE DADS STAY STRONG NEVER GIVE UP ?????

Laur 11/07/2020 at 2:15 am

My boyfriend has been accused of rape with his ex because he is about to take her to court to fight to be able to see their daughter. It’s all lies and there is zero evidence. I’m just really worried about how this can affect him and his future, surely with zero evidence the case will fall through? I wish there were penalties for women who lie about rape and men should have more rights over their children :(

Pat93 10/07/2020 at 2:18 am

My ex wife left me and 2 years later she comes back saying I raped her and she has no proof ! It’s he said/she said case with no evidence!!

Jan 10/07/2020 at 1:25 am

A friend of mine has been in jail in Dunklin county Missouri for over 2 weeks now.He was accused of breaking and entering and also rape.He has. a 50.000! Bond..The accuser his ex girlfriend and him had been separated but would still reunite occasionally.one day after such reconciliation she called the police and falsified a police report.My friend came to me after this happened needing to talkand as he was explaining to me that his ex had contacted him informing him of his warrant his ex girlfriend actually text at thst exact moment telling him that she knows she's a terrible person for falsely accusing him.but that she would rather he be imprisoned6 than to be with another woman.please help

Jules 25/04/2020 at 12:55 am

My OH Ex is still doing this for attention too, never even went to Cops but still 10 yrs later spreading it around. My OH went to a defamation lawyer and showed him everything, Lawyer said she is clearly sour, vengeful and ridiculous and not worth even giving oxygen to her waffle and online ramblings which clearly show she has mental health issues.

B 30/12/2019 at 2:11 pm

my boyfriends being falsely accused by his ex girlfriend and now the police are involved and they said that it's up to his ex if she's going to take if further. i don't know what we're supposed to do because it isn't true. they we're together a while ago but a month ago she started saying this. i'm a couple weeks pregnant and i'm feeling so low about this whole situation

Chris 21/11/2019 at 7:00 pm

@chris.thats why you don’t have friends like that ,anyone who is transgender has serous issues in (my opinion )on top off been mentally ill .truth will come out the police are no fools if he didn’t do it I wouldn’t be depressed.i would have the weirdo charged for making up false statements and with hes history off been in mental hospitals he word means rubbish.they will most likely lock him back up .so tell him not be depressed.

Chris 21/11/2019 at 12:30 pm

My partner has been accused of rape by a transgender friend of his, the thing is this person has severe mental health problems and has been sectioned many times throughout the year. My partner is so depressed about this as he was arrested and had DNA samples taken off him. It's a horrible accusation to put on someone. He is the most sweetest person you would come across.

Goggsy 15/09/2019 at 12:26 pm

I’ve had 11 alligators made by my ex partner her mother never liked me and have been told by friends who have spoken to my exes brother that there mum made the police call at the time of allegations my ex partner was taking liquid Oramorph from her doctor and would watch her over weeks hallucinate of this pain killer was real hard time looking after her I left on Tuesday and arrested on Thursday for rape and another 10 allegations all very serious e since my arrest I been realised on bail been 4 months now with no charge and my daughter in foster care as I’m a single parent I have sent lots of evidence to police showing her version of events to be false but still it’s gone to cps and still on going wile my daughter is somewhere she doesn’t want to be I won custody of my girl 5 years and since that have kept my nose clean still awaiting a cps decision my life has been one big nightmare am depressed have the shakes and I stutter a lot I never committed one of these allegations but still it drags on I feel a lot of women must be making these allegations to get back at ex boyfriends it’s a horror story I am suffering I also have 2 sons 10 and 8 my oldest now cries himself to sleep often and is suffering anxiety why are we allowing this to happen if I proved half her story to be a lie why are the police taking this all the way and dragging it out so long ??? Please someone help me :(

Black T 06/09/2019 at 11:25 am

My girlfriend has opened a case of attempted rape against me we have a month old baby reason being she is angry with me I used to live with her together with her mom and little brother, I used to support her and her family financially it even forced me to sell my car so that we can get a bigger place to rent so that i can accommodate her family, after that I bought a bicycle so that I can utilise to go to work on daily basis, because no one was working, after realising that I cant take it anymore financially I told her I'm moving out to stay alone but before that I suggested that we move out and live together so that we can raise our child together without the presence of her family she refused, when time went by things started to be sower in the home, we will sometimes ran out of food in the house because we were depending in one salary which mine, it even came to where me and her mother stopped talking to each other, it destroyed my relationship with my girlfriend big time where some other time she will take the side of her mother and her mother she was always in our business, this became detrimental to our relationship, there was a day when I was about to move I realised that my bicycle was missing in the house that particular day it was me and her and our 1 month old baby I ask her where is my bicycle she said to me that herself and mother sold it , I told her that she can't sell my bicycle without my consent and that I'm going to open a case against her for selling my bicycle that is when she said that she is going to open a case of rape. she went to the police to open attempted rape and I was arrested. This is very stressing and my career is on the line because she is lying with a serious accusation. Please help

Dumbfounded 18/08/2019 at 9:33 pm

After a year of trying to get a contact order to see my children the mother (at the last minute) has now stated that I raped her 4 or 5 times.

This is a total shock to me.

After the contact order is granted I am pretty sure she will tell the police because that is her last resort.

Joe 19/04/2019 at 2:26 am

"My partner has been accused of rape and domestic violence all over social media by his ex wife. We don't know what to do .... His ex wife has already accused my son for "touching" her daughter but the courts didn't even take it to consideration in because she was still allowed to spend time with us. This is been going on for nearly two years. We are living in fear of the next malicious statement. What can we do ...it's draining and really scary day to day."

You are experiencing what I'm currently experiencing. I'm traumatized as hell and it's like living in fear of a false accusation. Not cool.

Howes 11/03/2019 at 6:45 am

My partner has been accused of rape and domestic violence all over social media by his ex wife. We don't know what to do .... His ex wife has already accused my son for "touching" her daughter but the courts didn't even take it to consideration in because she was still allowed to spend time with us. This is been going on for nearly two years. We are living in fear of the next malicious statement. What can we do ...it's draining and really scary day to day.

Lilly 30/01/2019 at 10:27 pm

My fiancé is in jail awaiting trial due to the actions of ex-girlfriend. She would constantly harass the two of us, both stalking my Facebook page and using his kids she has with him to drive us apart. In her latest attempt she has accused him of raping both his daughter and her daughter from a previous relationship. These claims seem unlikely due to many factors including the fact that he lived with his grandmother (whom he was taking care of at time.) that didn't allow for children in her home, when he did have time with his children it was always with his two boys and his ex has a history of doing things like this resulting in the father of her other daughter severing all ties with both her and the child. We hoped this information would be enough but after being questioned by the police that took "whatever" as a yes. He has been in jail for over a year awaiting a trial, the one lawyer, his grandmother could afford offered little help and the public defenders given to him by the court have done nothing but tell him to pled guilty. This is a very difficult situation, and we don't know what to do, every time I see him, he looks more and more unhappy and he keeps asking about his sons (whom were left in the care of their mother who is clearly in a relationship with a neighborhood thug that had threatened to abuse them in the past) and I can't help him.

Ams 22/11/2018 at 10:21 am

Hi all,
My ex also accused me of raping her in 2009 so she can run away with all my 4 kids have new acconadation complete control kids and get all benefits.
Been 6 weeks not seen them the system is joke.

RK 27/09/2018 at 12:26 pm

My ex, who I have a 3 year old daughter with has falsely accused me of raping her. She's made false allegations of domestic violence against me in the past. All of these prior allegations have never gone to court as she has either dropped the charges or the CPS have dropped the charges. My ex says I raped her 2 weeks after the birth of our daughter. I apparently drugged her and raped her in her sleep. This was meant to have happened 3 years ago but she only made the allegation now. She has since gone to the police and dropped the charges and the police have said they're not taking it any further, nfa it states in their letter. Now she has taken me to civil court to stop me from seeing my daughter, which she never allowed anyway and has applied for sole custody of our daughter and has successfully got a non molestation order against me.
She gets free legal aid but I have to pay my legal costs. Everything seems so unfair. I haven't seen my daughter in 6 months and then it was only briefly. I feel very,very low.

Leah147 09/04/2018 at 10:19 pm

Hi my husaband was accused of rape by my friends daughter, but we are never apart and he has never been alone with her.
She is seventeen and her family came to see me my partner and made us aware that she had reported this to social services as she is under them, because they do not believe her and are willing to be witnesses against her.
She also texted me the day she made the aligation asking if she come come down to see how we all were.
Her family also disclosed that she has also had a problem with making a story true to herself even if it isn’t true and showing obsessive behaviour towards boys/men.
I have always been with my husband and she has never been alone with him, she has stated that last year to her friends and family she had sec with my husband, but her family didn’t tell me because they didn’t believe her and now she is changing it to rape.
I’m not sure where we go from here as every time we go to the police station to see if it has been logged, there is nothing on system and it has now been 5 days.

SeparatedDads Editor 07/12/2017 at 12:40 pm

The police are responsible for investigating allegations of rape and for gathering the evidence. In more serious or complex cases, the Crown Prosecution Service decides whether a person should be charged with a criminal offence, and, if so, what that offence should be. There has to be sufficient evidence for the CPS to bring charges. You can see the stages the process takes whichwhich should explain all you need to know. You should keep all evidence of any threats received and pass them over to the police.

Anyadvicewelcome 05/12/2017 at 6:13 pm

My partner was arrested 10 weeks ago when i 1 week over due our baby, the cops came into my house wouldn't tell us what was going on just cuffed him and took him away. I followed to the station where I was very distressed and still failed to tell me what was going on but they did let me sit in the waiting room for over an hour in convulsions crying. Apparently he raped a 65 yr old woman(he is 37) 11 weeks before.We do know the woman not very well but he swears he didn't do it and that he didn't even kno who made the allegations until the police showed him her picture at the end of his questioning. It has now been 10 weeks and we haven't heard another thing about it. My partners name is blackened around where we live and I'm getting abusive messages from the "victims" family.

Aky 16/11/2017 at 6:06 pm

My brother has had an allegation of rape produced against him from his ex-wife
He was bailed with conditions of which there would be no contact with her or his two children
His bail was not reinstated today.. no charge but with on going investigations...?
Child services are Now saying he still cannot have contact with his kids
Is this correct
Have they the power to implement this

Please help

SeparatedDads Editor 14/11/2017 at 2:16 pm

The decision to prosecute is a matter for the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS), not the police. The responsibility to investigate criminal allegations lies with the police and generally once their investigations are concluded, the CPS will make the decision if there should be a criminal prosecution.

Tez 13/11/2017 at 9:00 pm

So the allegations have been made in which rape was mentioned. She has now come to her senses and contacted me and admitting in writing this was all a big mistake and that she had blown everything out of proportion. The police however do not now seem to be interested in listening to her now telling them it was false allegations and are more or less ignoring her. She has made repeated calls and text messages to the officers dealing with the case but no one returns her call or messages. She is suffering worse than I am with the amount of stress (admittedly I'm not holding up to well) any advice or help would be greatly and I mean greatly appreciated!

Oz 04/11/2017 at 10:27 pm

My ex wife has been accusing me of rape .we are going to court for custody of the children at the moment and she has already gone to the police saying that I pushed her and i used her bank card without her knowing I was in custody for 22 hours before they was both dropped by the police. Now she's saying this. What can I do?

Garvey Editor 31/08/2017 at 3:59 pm

@Ajames - you need to get as far as possible away from this man as you can and KEEP away!

Ajames 31/08/2017 at 1:48 am

In March I left my cheating n voilent ex it's was the hardest thing ever, I loved him so much. Then he rang me n said he was gonna get me done for rape ..he'll be known I was at a mates In the next county. I got woke up by a mate n said the police want me,I knew he'd done it! 12 hrs in jail degraded. I didn't see him for a while n then he filled me full of more lies n I kinda believed them! Since then I've bean beaten by his family! My social life is nil because of it! When ever he gets mad he yells n screams rapist! He is one unhinge man! The story he told police doesn't match with my where about at all! It was a vindictive hanus crime n story he told! My life has never been the same since! He lied I got nfs but it feels like it's not enough ..

angryanne 12/08/2017 at 12:09 pm

It isn't just being accused of it. There are many men in prison who have been convicted of rape in a long term relationship. No evidence is required anymore thanks to a change in the law. The woman just has to say it happened and it is treated as the truth. It is the only crime where no evidence beyond a reasonable doubt is needed. Disgusting.

Devastatedfamily 04/07/2017 at 10:38 pm

My brother has recently split from his cheating ex of 4 years. He helped her bring up her son from another man and since had my 2 and a half year old nephew. Things were great and just after returning from a family holiday he finds out she cheated on him. They split up and she goes to the police and says he has imprisioned her for the past 2 years, raped her and also hit her. This is all lies, she has severe mental help issues and has hit him in the past. He now isn't allowed to see his son for at least 28 days (none of us are). We have messages and are trying to prove that he didn't do these things and this is her messed up way of not letting him see his son. When we asked the police if she will be prosicuted once she's proved to be lying they've said no, that nothing ever comes of that which is ridiculous! She should be punished for wasting police time and accusing an innocent man of these allegations. Any suggestions on anything will be great as we're falling apart right now.
Thank you

Am 26/06/2017 at 9:36 am

My estranged wife accused me of raping her for the last 9 years of our marriage over a year after we separated and divorce proceedings had started.
She has suffered from mental health issues all her life and been sectioned several times going back 20yrs before we met.
She made the false allegations to police while I was on holiday and I was arrested on the plane when it landed back in uk and bailed for 3 months -I received a letter the day before I was due to answer my bail saying it had been extended another 3 months then another letter the morning I was due to go back 3 months later saying refused to charge.
The day I was arrested she broke into our house which she hadn't resided in for 14 months and removed all of my belongings into storage
The police drew up my bail conditions to say a could not return to my own home or place of work as my estranged wife are directors in our own company and she had returned to work after an abscence of 2 yrs while I was on holiday
My bail conditions effectively meant I was homeless and jobless and sleeping on my girlfriends parents couch who I had met only twice before.i have since received copies of my estranged wife's bank statements during the financial proceedings and discovered she withdrew £30,000 from our business account also while I was on holiday a couple of days before she made false allegations.
The house and mortgage are in my name and I am now £7k in arrears while she has moved in her family (4 working adults now living there) since October and not paid a penny.
2 months ago when the case was dropped I attempted to return to my business but she took out an injunction against me even though I had 2 independent witnesses and recorded events on my phone and primed the police the day before.
So now I'm back to square one waiting to go to court in September .
Some of the police involved have been very understanding and do not agree with the way these laws stand but I do believe that in the initial stages there is a great deal of kodus for them in catching a 'rapist' and they allow this to cloud their judgment meaning they then have to try and justify their actions and refuse to even consider charging the accuser for false allegations even when I've offered evidence.....I'm afraid there is no justice in this situation and I no longer have any faith in the police at all....how can this be fair!!!!

Tam 19/04/2017 at 5:36 pm

My boyfriend what I've been with for 9 months got accused of rape and there was no further action I've known him 16 years and know that he's not that person does not have that nature in him to do this plz help!!!!

Smith 26/03/2017 at 7:14 pm

Hi my boyfriend ex accused him of attempted rape there was no evidence just her word against his. He was found guilty for this and now she is telling everyone it didn't happen she just wanted him in jail is there anything I can do?

Kong 17/03/2017 at 11:21 am

My estranged wife has accused me of rape. This is the second false allegation of rape she has made against me. She has also made allegations against her eldest daughter and two of my daughters classmates (at her old primary school)
She has been sectioned on several occasions, the last of which was Sept/Oct 2016 after attempting suicide, and has a conviction for harassment against me.
My life is currently in tatters, because she has described, in great detail, the fake allegation, with our 14 year old daughter.
She is currently staying with her mother, claiming she hates me for what i have done, and although social services are involved, the fact that my daughter wants to be with her mum, is being prioritised.
My wife has an extensive history of mental illness, domestic abuse and violence. As I've said, her only conviction is for harassment, mainly due to her "illness" and the reluctance of the authorities to prosecute.
She has been diagnosed with bipolar and several behavioural disorders, and there is very little stability in her behaviours.
She has consistently lied about me to friends and family, and now seems to be succeeding in turning my daughter again to me.
She has made a statement to the family court in order to get an injunction. This statement has several inconsistencies, which I feel can help with my defence . My daughter has lived with me since our separation 5 years ago, that is until this recent false claim.
Sorry if this is a bit long winded. I'm struggling to keep myself together, and genuinely fear for my daughters wellbeing, and feel my concerns are not being acted upon.
I've was interviewed under caution on Feb 16th but have heard nothing else. No charges have been brought, but I've hardly slept since. My health is bound to suffer the longer this is allowed to continue.

Smith 09/02/2017 at 3:38 pm

One of my family members is being falsely accused of rape after a one night stand. He was released after questioning 4 days ago and we have heard nothing! Does it take a long time to even get an update? Is no news good news? Please someone help!

ra 08/01/2017 at 9:19 pm

My mum was with my partner before me, they had two dates and things didnt work out! 2 years later we got together and had our son, at first things where good untill my mum and my partner rowed over something stupid. now shes reporting him to the poluce for indecent assulting her whilst she lived with us. This is because she cannot just come and stay at mine as she did before and seeing her grandson is not as easy as when they where talking. she says shes reporting him when she doesnt get her way! why should i feel blackmailed into my mum seeing my son just so she wont cause our little family agro with the police?! please help :-[

Crys 07/08/2016 at 6:27 am

my boyfriend was accused falsely of rape by his best friend (that he raped the guys sister) he got arrested last month and I'm scared of conviction.

Dwight 28/07/2016 at 1:03 am

I have been in prison for 24 years because someone wanted to adopt my kids after wife and I split up. They coerced my kids who were 5, 3, and 2. They have recanted saying they were made to say what they did. They are now 28, 30, and 31. I am applying for clemency. I got 3 life sentences and was charged with aggravated rape. I am innocent. Even the projector knew it. What can I do. I want my story out there. This can happen to anyone. Even YOU!!!

dc20016 06/06/2016 at 11:46 pm

When i was away on job training a rumour got spread about my daughter that she had been raped she told me about it and i was not happy when i arrived home my daughter who is 12 told me to go into school to sort it then next morning she was laughing and dancing with me before school a few hours later i have police and social worker saying i cannot see my kids and made me sign something other an allegation i had to go to the police station couple days later where they told me my daughter said i raped her when she was around 5-8 i could not speak i was shocked took me a while to get my words out they asked me a few questions then let me go on bail. i have since been drinking so close to hanging myself and cut my wrist all because i cannot see my children they offered her the chance to have an examination and she refused it a week later she wants to speak to police again to say something else my life as been turned upside down i may of lost my job even before its started and i have not seen my kids for a month and missed my sons 3rd birthday i can have supervised contact but it will break me even more my daughter is acting the same before the allegation and after the allegation mum told me she just bothered about doing videos on her ipod and talking about boyfriends she dont care what she doing to me and rest of the kids and my partner my family is supporting me best they can they say if no evidence i will be fine how can i prove that i am innocent she refused the examintion that would of proved she has not had sex i didnt want her to go through that at her age not nice but now i wish they made her do the examintion i keep thinking the police cps are going to believe what she is saying i have not got alot fight left in me anymore

SeparatedDads Editor 25/05/2016 at 10:11 am

I'm afraid there is little advice I can give, except you can only be honest, which is always the best policy. If you are innocent of the charges and the charges have been dropped, then there shouldn't be an issue as any statements you give will be consistent.

SeparatedDads Editor 24/05/2016 at 2:59 pm

I'm afraid we can't predict what will happen as all will depend on whether the police and CPS can gather enough evidence to prosecute your boyfriend.

Peeni 24/05/2016 at 8:38 am

Some girl accused my boyfriend for raping her and he don't even know her and the police asking him questions . like he telling the truth and they don't too much believe him so what will happen

ddvvtt 24/05/2016 at 2:59 am

My ex-partner had me arrested on allegations of assault drugging and raping for 7 and a half years all my charges with dropped. She has contradicted his statements to the police and to the social services. I know also contradicted has statement to cafcass. Will the tree parties cross reference hair statements before Court. The accusations were impossible and was dropped immediately by the police. I have had to be assessed by social services and didn't my statements my ex-partner makes me out to be a manipulator and in eyes everything I say.
Advise anybody please David

Irfan 20/04/2016 at 1:55 am

I accused in pocso case of my child, I am step father of victim girl I was fighted with my wife and said don't want to live with me and after 2days she case on me that i did raped to the child, but in real I never thought about this I can't this big crime ever. and now advocate saying no body can save you from going 14years jail there is no need injury also to put case on innocent these are the kannon I can't do anything

SeparatedDads Editor 08/04/2016 at 11:21 am

I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, there is little you can do here until the investigations have completed. Unless the police and your ex can provide evidence to back her allegations up, then I'm sure the charges will be dropped. In the meantime, I can only suggest you seek some legal advice to see what options you have and also seek some support to get you through these dark times. FASO is a voluntary organisation that offers clear information, practical advice, and emotional support to anyone affected by false allegation of abuse and you can access help via whichIf you are feeling suicidal please look to help from organisations such as the Samaritans who can help point you in the right direction to seek further help. I know it is difficult not to see your children, but please keep your mind on the situation of six months down the line, when hopefully the charges will be dropped and you will once again be able to see your kids.

Fight-or-flight 07/04/2016 at 1:03 pm

I was recently in a relationship of 10+ years and we had two wonderful children together for the first 7 years my partner was very ill and i ended up becoming her carer after finally getting my partner all the help she needed i myself fell ill with depression and felt suicidal our relationship was always quite volatile we'd argue over silly things and it would eventually get violent often my partner pushing and pulling me to the point where i'd retaliate by pushing her off. I look back and remember a lot of good times but she only ever remembered the bad and blames me for everything even contributing to her illness. Recently i found her out in several lies and questioned her about them which led to her breaking up with me i took an overdose and she packed her things i fought for the relationship to work for the kids but eventually another argument broke out and she called the police i was arrested on a harrasment charge which was bogus as she made a lot of stuff up then after being in cells for 21 hrs the police took me to the front desk and said there has been further accusations 2 counts of rape and i count of attempted rape along with assault blackmail and serveral others the police bailed me after an interview where i told the whole truth of the rape accusations being false and now im not allowed back into my home town or any contact with my kids for 6 months pending further investigation i've looked everywere for help but getting nowhere i feel like ending it all please help me.

SeparatedDads Editor 12/02/2016 at 1:50 pm

The site Accused.Me may offer some support, It also gives advice on what you should do should you be suffering from depression. I hope this helps.

sammy 11/02/2016 at 8:44 pm

Back in 1981 I was convicted of attempted rape,by way if a forced confession ,the only evidence they had against me.Unfortunately I was young and naive.No Dna evidence,my brother as a witness ended up suicidal as a result of the court not believing his testimony.
I am at a stage in my life where this is affecting me mentally and I feel suicidal myself.

SeparatedDads Editor 18/01/2016 at 12:46 pm

I am sorry to hear this. However, if your ex has threatened this then you have done the right thing by protecting yourself from false accusations. Just because your ex is being investigated, it does not mean your son will be removed from her. Therefore, I would take some legal advice to see whether you can apply through the courts for access to your son.

squeeky77 17/01/2016 at 5:44 pm

me and my ex split up in September we was talking and getting on for our sons sake and our son is now 24 month old and she now trying to blackmail me if i dont give up my right to him she will go to police and tell them i have raped her but ive been to police to tell them about the blackmail but i was told by police not to tell her ive been to see them and she as made my contact to a text message a day now i cant have photos unless i go over to see our son but i cant do that as the police have got social services involved with this i don't know if that is a good or bad thing my ex is mentally depressed and she cut everyone that loves and cares for her i don't want our son to go into care would he be able to live with me can anyone tell me i don't want to loose our son to care

Chinky 31/12/2015 at 1:12 am

Please I need some advise here. My wife has a history of assaulting me and my son (3 years old), and after years of taking it, I just had to put a stop to it recently when I got the police involved. I grew in an abusive environment myself and I know firsthand the effects, so I just had to ensure my son did not continue to be in that sort of environment. Prior to this time, I had tried to convince her to get help for years and even helped her make an appointment with our GP about her behaviour (possible mental health issues) which she did not pursue. The case has been taken to court and her bail conditions included her not having direct contact with me which she has breached numerous times without me making a report. She has been reaching out to me to drop the charges against her and I have always told her that my condition was for her to commit to anger management counselling which she has refused to do for years. In any case, we met up recently on boxing day to shop for our son and then we agreed to meet again on the 29th. During the weekend she makes nude videos of herself and sends to me through skype and we agree to meet up to "talk", and I being the fool that I have always been, I booked a room in a hotel for this. In addition to my health issues I had not had sex since even before the police arrested her over a month ago, so I guess I was thinking with other parts of my body rather than my brains.

We ended up talking and having sex and she gave me 3 options to make the case disappear; make a formal move to get the case thrown out and receive a fine; show up on the trial day and indicate my unwillingness to continue with the trial and lastly to not show up in court at all on the trial day so the case can be thrown out, while I repeated my own conditions for her to attend anger management, which has always been my desire for years because I loved my wife and I did not want my family to be broken up if possible. She was even physically violent towards me during the night because I insisted on my condition for dropping the charges (I did not report this to the police). In the morning when I went to drop her off she demands to be paid £700 towards her legal fees (which I did not even have to give) and refused to get down from the car then she walks off with the car keys and would not give them back unless I spoke to her lawyer to tell him I intend to drop the case which I did after almost an hour of pleading with her. Now she says she is going to tell the police I raped her if I do not drop the charges. Everybody warned me not to have any contact with her but I have secretly been taking her calls and talking to her to convince her to get help (and God knows why else). Even though I know she can be manipulative and controlling, it is very difficult for me to hear my wife and mother to my child being distressed and crying over the phone, it just breaks my heart. Now I have seen her for what she truly is, just like I had been warned and I real

Louiseb 28/12/2015 at 1:44 pm

My partner is a cheat I had a neighbour and her partner left her for another women and we had a girl talk and I said my partner is abit easy if a girl lays it on a plate he will go for it any way she wAs very bubbly round my partner and he was to one night he went round hers after a drink I saw him go in he was in there 15 mins and because I had a gut feeling her and him were at it I put my ear to the wall they where thin I could here talking anyways partner come home I didn't ask why he went into her house any way we went to bed then 2:30 I. The morning she was banging on my door up set crying saying that he touched her the police came she has known to be a bouncer but she said she didn't want to wake her kids up but she could of defended her self now my partner is in prison and will be out soon she has destroyed every thing but in some way I hope it's taught my partner never to cheat again , I didn't tell the judge that I told her my partner was easy and I didn't tell them I put my ear to the wall because I didn't want them to think I didn't trust him . I know what his like he is a cheater but not a person that would sexually assault another lady she got her husband back after he found out and now they live happily ever after . I'm the only one that didn't lie in that court room Evan her husband said he was trying to sort his marriage out with her how can you do that when living with your mistress my life has crumbled and my kids have suffered I just hope people realise that there are nasty people out there and cheating with the wrong lady or man can meas you're life up

CWBens 16/12/2015 at 10:41 pm

My ex girlfriend was recently persuaded by a teacher to make a rape allegation against me. What happened was I'd touch her, she'd tell me to stop, and I'd try again later. eventually, she'd say yes to sex. I don't know if this is rape, but I admitted to it as rape so she'd stop victimizing herself. Days after we broke up, she told the police, which seems like she's trying to ruin my life since we're not attached anymore. I'm only 15 and I fear for my entire future, because I'm convinced that she's sadistically trying to make me suffer.

Alice 28/11/2015 at 6:46 pm

I am a guy and I have a friend who is a guy who has mental problems but know one listens he lie to me and other two friends that his dad raped him he always makes up werid lies and he used to take medication in year 8 what should I do

andy1985 28/11/2015 at 4:46 pm

My daughter who just came from mexico to usaacussed her blood father that one night he was putting her little sister's pj's up it was a dress while her dad was a little drunk my other daughter is 4, and he has been the one on taking care of her and her other sister since their blood father never did.. Now my daughter told my stupid sister who hates my boyfriend and they called the cops and they called child protection, and they kept my kids for like a week away from me they make me put an order for protection against him so i was able to get my kids back.. they interviewed my 4 years old daughter she didnt say anything against "her daddy" but they were still saying a lot of thing against him just because my oldest daughter said so... omg i am pregnant my boyfrind on jail and cant talk to him ... so sad that my own daughter did all this..

Sunshine88 30/10/2015 at 2:00 am

My brother cousin an close friend was all arrested and accused of rape they all went out one night got talking to two girls in their late 20's my cousin invited them back to his places my cousin had sex with her then she had sex with my brother he didn't finished off he stopped half way his arm was hurting (broken arm) they was all having a laugh then this girl they both had sex with went weird started calling my cousin name's so my brother told them to go rang them a taxi and went next thing early hours off the next morning police was knocking on the door my bro answered and they arrested my cousin and his friend this was at 12am we didn't hear all day from police until 11 pm that night they came and arrested my bro their friend was let out an all charges dropped no evidence towards him my cousin was let out after him then my bro the next day the girl told the police that their friend held her down by her arms but she has no marks on her arms while my cousin n bro arally raped her she told them her friend was downstairs but her friend couldn't hear her screaming coz off the loud music all three boys said there was no music on at any point off the night she then said her n her friend ran out the house n down the street screaming but the neighbors didn't hear anything my bro and cousin are waiting on test coming back coz they have been told she HIV positive. They are in court 12 December. My dad has Parkinson and my cousin grandma (my dad sister) is in hospital from having a stroke and breaking her hip this has coursed so much stressed on my family my cousin was in the army my bro worked behind a bar I've lost my job n their friend nearly lost his kids. This girl keeps changing her story we don't know why she done this she is a mother herself both girls are. Crying rape when you haven't been rape is a twisted thing. When her lies come out I want her done and if my bro or cousin has HIV i hope justice is on are side again. She doesn't understand the pain she has done to a family. My brother and cousin have cried to us. wanting all this to go away it has ruined their lives but she still happy uploading pictures on days out with her friends and family if I was rape I wouldn't go out my house. The police has told my brother not to worry to much all three boys story are same. The boys have been brought up the right way and that's lairs always get found out it's always best to tell the truth and deal with it there and then. I just want to know after all this is there anything my bro cousin n friend could do or should do. I don't think it's right when she found a lair to let her go and probably do the same the done another poor lad? Thank you

Barbieee 05/10/2015 at 3:04 am

My husband is being falsely accused of rape and we are going thru the whole case now :/ he wouldn't ever do such a thing both him and the girl got drunk and hooked up the thing is she has changed her story several times. But she waited a month to report it and also went out again with my husband the next day. I feel like she's angry because he told her it was a huge mistake but this woman has literally ruined his reputation because she has went all over the base spreading the rumor he raped her:/ I need some type of advice :/

SeparatedDads Editor 29/09/2015 at 2:29 pm

The CPS makes a decision whether to charge a person or not. Please see link: CPS Policy for Prosecuting Cases of Rape, here which outlines the reasons why it makes decisions to prosecute or not.

Sasa 28/09/2015 at 5:06 pm

I rang police and told them that my bf had sex with me when I was sleeping he was arrested in custody and released on bail until further investigation they wanted me to go and have swabs n go do a video evidence and I said no he's never done anything like it before but does have hydrocephalus and has a shunt in his head,. He's on bail anyway don't know till when is there anything I can do to just stop this all and let him live his life I know he didn't mean to do it! I didn't want the police involved my mum rang them
Please help! Also he is not known to the police and never been in trouble

SeparatedDads Editor 18/09/2015 at 3:13 pm

It sounds as though you need to speak with someone personally and directly. Please see FASO which

Gerry 17/09/2015 at 8:50 pm

I haven't seen my kids in 5 weeks social services took 11 days 2 get in touch with me my kids ware put on the child protection programs they had me down as guilty b4 I ever met them my x found my profile on a dating site in April and text message of girls on my phone this is how she is paying me back by taking my life of me any help plz

Gerry 17/09/2015 at 8:37 pm

Me again sorry my writing is bad where was I yes she says she is a afraid of me she has made so many lies on me how can she b afraid of me and send me pictures of her self the police didn't give me much of what she z on the allegations the just read them 2 me and ask brief questions on all matters I haven't slept in 4 days im at my lows point of my life iv ever

SeparatedDads Editor 02/09/2015 at 2:22 pm

I'm sorry to hear this. I can only suggest you contact the False Allegations Support Organsation, FASO link here as its advisers may be able to give your friend some helpful advice.

Emilyloo85 01/09/2015 at 10:13 pm

Their is also 2 witnesses to say it was consentual and that she led him to the bedroom ect ect yet hes still being held in custody ??

Emilyloo85 01/09/2015 at 10:10 pm

My friend has been accused of rape, he was staying with a mate (ex) and they had a drink and she led him to the bedroom, aftet having consensual sex she then fell asleep in his arms and the next day made him a dinner and had a few giggles he then made it clear that it should not have happened because he had feelings for someone else and was planning to go and make a go of a relationship with her, 2 days after they had consentual sex she went and made a false alligation of rape because he rejected a relation ship with her hes now in custody on remand for something he didnt do... help me please how can we prove his innocence ?

SeparatedDads Editor 25/08/2015 at 11:46 am

I am very sorry to hear this. You could contact the False Allegations Support Organsation, FASO for some further help, advice and support via whichFamily Lives may also be able to give some help and advice

annie17 24/08/2015 at 5:07 pm

hey, my half sister is accusing my dad of a historic rape going back to when we were kids and used to stay over together at his house. she has a historic record with the police of lying, stealing and abusing our mother. she began this during secondary school and she is claiming that this is when the incident happened. we used to sleep in the same double bed together and my dads friends where sleeping in the next room. I know for a fine fact she is lying. she has even had her own child taken away from her for incompetence. I strongly believe that because myself, my father and disabled mother are looking after her son she has made up the lie. the incident is being taken to court and I am extremely worried for my dad. this happened during my exams so the stress is mounting. I am suffering with deep depression and I'm only 17, I don't know how I can help my dad we were all finally getting on with our lives without my sister but she is an accomplished liar. she has made it look like she started being aggressive and committing criminal acts (including losing her virginity to a 21 year old at 13 with consent) after the alleged incident occurred but my family knows she has been the same way since her dad left my mother. I don't know how to help my dad we can all see it is through jealousy and the attractive compensation sum she is trying to claim that she is saying these things but the police seem to believe her. please I need advise on what to do I may need to stand up in court but so far the police have twisted everything I say including the fact we all used to wrestle my dad when we were little. Please help me

pressure 20/08/2015 at 5:40 pm

My wife has accused me of rape I'm on police bail I've found paperwork that says she has f60 unstable personality disorder and has made accusations in the past about her step dad and mum and further two accusations I'm scared stiff

rhonda 09/07/2015 at 10:46 pm

two day's ago the police came and arrested my now 17yr old son on rape from his ex girlfriend. I had recvd a call a year ago from the girls dad telling me that she told her therapist " that he touched me when I said no" and that he wasn't going to contact the cops but that because she told her therapist this they had to report but the father of the girl wanted to be the one to tell me because he felt that it was not true, that she was angry because my son broke up with her. Now a year later the arrest him and from what I have found out the ex g/f and her best friend also and ex g/f both are claiming this. However, after the first girl made the claim the detective went over to her best friends house who was also and ex of my sons and talked to her she stated that there was times when hey were sexual that she just feel like it but never said anything. so the turned it around to that my son forced her. I on the other hand don't believe it at all this is a kid that is a what you would call a Nerd now, very shy, ect. both girls have text me while dating my son stating that he wanted to break up they were sad one threatened to kill herself ect. the first girl even went so far as to go out with my than 14 your old son right after my 16 yr old broke up with her and sent my 14 yr old nude pix. I put a quick end to that when I found out about her being with my 14 yr old. Im scared very scared, these girls evidently have some serious problems they both have been in and out of mental hospitals, and nowadays its the thing to do to either cut yourself or threaten suicide, again my son is very shy, quiet doesn't know or hang out with a lot of girls and when these girls paid attention to him he was on top of the world. now his life is about to be ruined because these two girls who are best friends claim this. what can I do to help my son. any any information will be apprieciated thank you in advance

Pete 06/07/2015 at 12:22 pm

Re Lou and her comments , I am doing research on the sexual offences act in regards prostitution , email me and i can elaborate on some things you can do. Regards

Billy 02/07/2015 at 7:38 am

Around 6 years ago the police came in my flat at 4am in the morning took me to the station did all the tests and yes the one night stand from the night before became a nightmare. I was kept in the cell until court where I got bail this hell draged on for almost a full year before She dropped the charges at the Crown court 1 hour before it was about to begin. When I asked about pressing charges against her my legal team said not possible. This took something away from me and iv suffered depression ever since. My heart goes out to anybody in that suruation its not nice its ugly and it will hurt.

vavi 27/06/2015 at 9:07 pm

my colligue had falsefuly accused me of raping her wat do i do cos police have arrested me nd kept me to their holding cells so on the day of appearing to court while waiting to appear they release me without tellng me whats next so im always scared cos i dnt whats going to happen next

Jellybean 19/06/2015 at 6:03 pm

Hi, my boyfriend has been accused by his ex that he raped her yet she was cheating on him and has had a baby with this person since the accusation. It was taken to courts and it was found she and her partner had lied but my boyfriend still has to go back in January but we don't know why. If anyone has any ideas why it would be much appreciated as then we'd know something. Many thanks

dannii 01/06/2015 at 8:32 am

Yes all charges have been droped i was wondering how many times can it go to the cps

SeparatedDads Editor 18/05/2015 at 2:03 pm

@northernMale - yes they can, especially if he is on the sexual offenders list. If he had a jail sentence of more than 30 months for sexual offending, he will have been placed on the register indefinitely. The 'child sex offender disclosure scheme' lets those who care for young people find out if a person has a record for child sexual offences. it should tell you where you can go to officially report your concerns.

northernMale 14/05/2015 at 10:24 pm

My daughters (5 years old) mother who regularly stops contact with me and my daughter has started a relationship with a convicted prison served rapist - can social services or anyone restrict his contact with my daughter if I report it? It worries me!

MIke Editor 15/05/2015 at 10:39 am

@dannii - I take it the charges have been dropped? Unless she comes up with new evidence or a new witness then it is probably unlikely.

dannii 13/05/2015 at 1:26 pm

My boyfriend was arrested a couple of weeks again on suspition of rapeing his cousion i was just wondering how many times can it go back to cps if she tries it again

SeparatedDads Editor 08/05/2015 at 10:41 am

@help - I can only suggest you get in touch with the False Allegations Support Organsation. FASO is a voluntary organisation that offers clear information, practical advice, and emotional support to anyone affected by false allegation of abuse. You can access it via whichI hope this helps.

help 07/05/2015 at 2:03 pm

My of friend has just been accused of rape, the accuser has had him arrested 11 times since Oct ranging from accusing him of smashing her windows, writing letters to her, approaching her, got her children to lie and say he had touched them, and the list goes on, each time released without charge. She has now accused him of this and also managed to get his ex partner to say the same. We are so scared as we are waiting for the court process to start. All this time my boyfriend has been living with me and I believe 100% it's all lies.

SeparatedDads Editor 25/03/2015 at 3:12 pm

@Sky - I'm sorry to hear this - if you feel he has been falsely accused of rape, you should perhaps speak to someone at FASO, I hope this helps.

sky 24/03/2015 at 8:11 pm

family in bits tore apart help me and my family,please.

sky 24/03/2015 at 8:09 pm

in bits life not worth living,my family tore apart

SeparatedDads Editor 26/03/2015 at 12:32 pm

@hbscotland - I am sorry to hear this has ruined his life. You may wish to contact FASO, the False Allegations Support Organisation, via the link here as they may be able to give him some needed support.

hbscotland 23/03/2015 at 6:07 pm

I am the partner of someone who has been accused of child rape of our daughter.I know that my daughter is lying as i remember the exact evening that it supposed happened and i know of all the lies she has told about her dad and me and younger siblings.I do really hope she gets diagnosed with something as she seems to actually believe her own lies.My other 3 kids are in care because of the accusations.My eldest(18) is with us because he knows us(parents) and k(sister) but we have lost everything as she seems togenuinly believe her own lies(ie.that i hid her pants that were "evidence"
I never accused her of lying to my facebut i had questions as to why she never felt scared or vulnrable when left alone with d.
She could tell me that she believed that iher dad noway hurt her sisters(she stayed wiyh her gran for 6 mlnth before running away to our house and saying she was sorry..
So basically she lied time and time again about vicious beati gs shed recieved from her dad and then lied about sexual allegations which at first i had to listen too as she was my daughter, but the case has been closed and in thsday and age even without forensic evidence you can still be put on trial.The fact that my case isnt even going to trial speaks volumes but rhe sad part is for anyonethis happens to ,life will never be the same

SeparatedDads Editor 24/03/2015 at 9:44 am

@deanwinchester- with a bit of investigation, the police would be able to find out that you hadn't set up the account and that someone else had instead.

deanwinchester 20/03/2015 at 10:32 am

I'm having troubles with false accusations now a ex girlfriend of mine is trying to get back at me because I left her for one of her mates (better leaving her than cheating on her right) and the past week or so she's been going to the cops getting a friend to make a fake profile in my name on Facebook to have some evidence its destroying my life and career because the police actually believe the evidence even though they have access to my Facebook account its stupid I just hope she gets what's coming if I go down or not

queenbee667 13/02/2015 at 2:19 am

January 20th 2014 my partner cheated on me with someone who was suppose to be my best friend. This was 2 months after we had buried our 19 month old daughter who had passed away from cancer. She is then accused him of raping her and has also accused him of trying to rape her twice before while our daughter was dying? Thing is they was never left alone for that to happen and we was in and out of hospital with our daughter. Thing is up until they slept together she was absolutely fine with him. Spoke to him at our other children's school where her child also goes. Cuddled him after our daughter died. In her 1st statement she says my partner tried to rape her twice between November 2013 and january 2014 then raped her on 20th january 2014 which is when they actually cheated. But her 2nd statement she says he 1st tried to rape her July 2013?? Its due to go to crown court this month but why has it even got this far when you can see in black and white that she's lying. We had barely got over our daughter dying (not that you get over it) then this all happened. I'm so scared I'm going to lose him even though its clear to see she's lying. Oh and forgot to mention she tried to split me and my partner up when we 1st got together in 2006 because she was apparently in love with him

SeparatedDads Editor 13/02/2015 at 2:50 pm

@Lou - I'm afraid we can not give such advice. If you feel he has been falsely accused of rape, you should perhaps speak to someone at FASO, I hope this helps.

Lou 12/02/2015 at 9:04 pm

Hi all, I'm not a SD but need support and help with this issue.
My partner is currently on remand for 9 offences, 2 of which are sexual assault by touching, one human trafficking and the other is causing or inciting prostitution for gain...
Now, the main issue is the girl who has raised the SA allegations...

I met my partner april last year, and the apparant "victim", along with a whole new group of people which later became my friends, or people who i hung around with.
There were often parties held in my house, and people turned up... there was all sorts going on I must admit, like drinking, some taking drugs, and there was music dancing etc as you would find at a normal party.
This girl used to come to these parties, and everything was fine for a little while, til one night.

My partner went to work as usual (we all begged him to pull a sicky, but he refused! lucky, or in some ways, unlucky the way you may view it)
and there were four people, including me left in the house (this girl - the apparant victim) was among the other 3. we decided to get some drink, and order a takeaway, and had a little get together, just a quiet night, as i was used to 10+ people being in my home at one point, so this was very quiet.
Night cut short, we ended up having to call an ambulance for this girl, and she was taken to hospital.
She escaped hospital, with cannular in her arm, first i heard of that was next morning when police had a section 17 warrant to search my home for her. in the end, she tried to come back to my home, and was stopped by my partner, who told her your just causing trouble for everyone...

Next we hear of her, is my partners house is raided / searched and he is arrested for Conspiracy to rape (or a similar charge) this girl is claiming it happened in february.... so why the f*** was she in my house, when he was there, if he did that to her? why hang around us? we even took her to london, so why did she come with us?
This is getting me down, because now he is on remand, it feels like she is winning.... how can we disprove her claims? I'm beginning to feel girls can just cry rape whenever they flipping like, and thats horrifying and upsetting, as my sister is a rape victim, :/

advice appreciated.

craig 06/02/2015 at 1:51 pm

I have been falsely accused of raping my step sister on 3 accounts one account can be proven false however I can not disprove the other 2 accounts as these were years ago apparently . I have a 5 month old daughter and I am now unable to be in my own home with my beautiful daughter and fiancee . life is hell at the mo ive lost my job because of it and I am at an all time low . I have a brief understanding of why she has done this now however its just proving she's a devious vindictive liar despite her innocent front.. What can I Do to prove her lies

duckie 22/01/2015 at 11:12 pm

My brother has been falsely accused of rape back in October 2014 by his ex girlfriend. They have 2 children together (age 2 and 1). He was released on bail less than 24 hours of being arrested to which he only had 1 interview and not heard anything else since, until yesterday to say his bail had been extended (his bail was due to end tomorrow). His ex has been diognosed with bi polar and her own sister and 16 year old daughter testified against her for compulsive lying to the rest of her family. We feel she has done this as she is recently now with a new boyfriend and got caught out after a night together and he was thinking of getting custody of the children due to her mental illness and history with her 3 other children with her ex husband. Also that this happened the day before our grandads funeral which she knew about as she came back to my house after the alleged attack and spoke to my brother without seeming scared or upset by him. my brother and her relationship has always been on off. Im scared of the result if he is found guilty and now just heard that it may affect mine and my mums career as we are in the child care sector, is this true?

knowles345 13/01/2015 at 12:16 am

I have been arrested and bailed thanks to my ex girlfriend, after finding out i cheated on her. I know i shouldn't of slept with another woman anyway..my ex girlfriend of 2 years has claimed that i raped her at the start of our relationship and that i have assaulted her. We have a 10 month old daughter, (That she is still letting me see 3 times a week?).. Social services are now involved and seem to be on her side in all the core meetings. I have asked if i can go to the meeting, however Social Services will not change the location so that i can go. I know and she knows i never raped her. I feel so sorry for my child and i find it very hard to concentrate at work, need advice?
Thanks

sabro 08/01/2015 at 11:56 am

My now ex partner has been accused of rape in September last year , social services informed me of this and have said they will not support any contact between my son who is just 17 weeks old and his father, he has not been convicted of this and has profusely denied the allegation and has been re bailed until Feb, I have not allowed him to see our child as social services advised he would be put onto child protection register if he had any contact with his father ,is there any thing that I should be able to arrange if he has not been convicted such as supervised contact?? Social worker has completely dismissed this request when I mentioned it before.

Father of my child served a prison sentence for domestic violence and was released 1.5 years before I met him and I only found out about the true reason for his conviction was during my pregnancy, social services are also bringing this up as a reason for him not seeing our son , however he still has contact with his other son to the ex partner he committed the previous crime against..... Don't know what can do for the best!!!!any advice will be appreciated ..

PB Editor 28/11/2014 at 2:12 pm

@zepher53 - you can counter sue. But it will mean you bringing up and re-living the whole case again, if it's something you feel you need to do, then you should seek some legal advice. Phil.

SeparatedDads Editor 29/10/2014 at 1:23 pm

@zepher53 - if you are feeling very down and need someone to talk to FASO is a voluntary organisation dedicated to supporting anyone affected by a false allegation of abuse. You can find them via Google at false-allegations.org.uk. It also has a national helpline: 0844 335 1992, which is open Monday to Friday, 6pm to 10pm. It also offers an email service. I hope this helps.

zepher53 28/11/2014 at 6:10 am

I am still none the wiser as to why i was accused of abuse by my friends two daughters.They told so many lies.Thank god all emails and tex'd messages are kept for years. They proved they were total liars. We never had an argument or any bad feeling,This just came out of the blue,I want to know why?.I was on bail for 5 months,5 months of hell and they were telling everyone their LIES. Now its over,Well for them it is,They were proved liars yet walk away as if it was nothing.As for me i've lost everything and can no longer face anyone,Yet i did nothing wrong,I am now a recluse i just cant trust anyone again.I want to know why they decided to destroy my life. CAN I TAKE OUT A PRIVATE SUMMONS AGAINST THEM. I feel that its the only way for people to see the truth

misskj 13/11/2014 at 3:14 pm

Thank you so much :) I will be giving them a call as soon as possible! It's so hard to come to terms with this especially having 2 young children to look after I know I need to stay strong thanks so much again I really appreciate it x

misskj 13/11/2014 at 2:46 pm

Please can I have some help or advice I'm in bits! Basically I have a living fiancé and two beautiful children my life WAS perfect until last week when my fiancé got arrested for rape - his 2 ex girlfriends (1 ex wife the other just a gf) are both filing reports that he raped them! He's currently on bail - it's all lies they've plotted together ways to get at him and this is the lowest of the low! I need someone to talk to my whole life is crumbling in front of my eyes I'm struggling to cope I am scared of the unknown. I have no idea what's going to happen! Please is there anybody to talk to :( thank you for reading x

zepher53 30/10/2014 at 5:25 pm

Thank you SeperatedDads for your advice,I will take your advice if if i cant rise from this depression. I just can't work out why for no reason at all and out of the blue someone would decide they are going to destroy your life. I just seem to have lost the will to do anything anymore, Don't see the point when it can all be destroyed so easily. Sorry im rambling on. Thank you for showing me that someone's there if things get too tough.Kind regards zepher53

dee 16/10/2014 at 9:55 pm

My brother went to Court this year to get an access order to see his 2 children. My brother and his ex-partner had been separated for over 6 years. Although separated from the children's mother, my brother had access to his children every weekend and in the week after school - until February 2014 when his ex partner found out that my brother had a new girlfriend (although they had been together for 5 years) it was only in Feb this year that ex partner found out and immediately stopped him from seeing his children.

My brother then applied to the Family Court for an access order (April 2014). When the case came to Court on 3rd June this year, his ex partner CLAIMED during her pre-Court Hearing with C.A.F.C.A.S.S that she had been historically raped by my brother during their 15 year relationship. Since that date we have been fighting for justice! My brothers children have not been allowed to see him since February 2014. His youngest daughter who is only just seven years old is devastated! She dotes on her daddy. Greater Manchester Police and C.A.F.C.A.S.S both blame each other for the delay and say that they are waiting for information/documentation from each other. I feel SO angry at the misuse of public funds and total lack of accountability! Its disgraceful! My brothers partner would do anything to hurt him - making up this lie to prevent him seeing his children and them from seeing their father is exactly her intention. The whole way that this system works is SO inequitable and unjust. I had some faith in the Police and Judiciary prior to this experience, but now I feel nothing only contempt for a system that treats innocent men as guilty and stops children from seeing the most important man (their father) in their lives. His 2 daughters are emotionally a total mess - and where is C.A.F.C.A.S.S in all this - nowhere other than keep attending the Family Court Hearings to advise the Judge to refuse any kind of interim access order - despite the mother refusing any contact at all with C.A.F.C.A.S.S - they have never even met my brother or his children - we are meeting with our MP tomorrow as a desperate last resort! As a feminist who fought for women's rights in the 19880's and as someone who has worked for Rape Crisis and Woman's Aid - I feel ashamed of the monster and injustice that I fought to create!

The Lady 08/09/2014 at 3:59 am

My daughter is accusing her father of rape again. The first time he was cleared by DNA, Recantment, & a polygraph. They have done another DNA test. But no polygraph. What happens now?

emm Editor 19/08/2014 at 11:51 am

@incrazylove, no a rape victims details should never be exposed.

Incrazylove 19/08/2014 at 11:10 am

Can a woman's details who accuses a man of rape be exposed?

emmie Editor 08/08/2014 at 11:31 am

@shan, you'll just have to wait and see if the police turn up or not only then will you know if she has been to see them. If she has been to the police unless she has some evidence they may not be able to do anything or they may be trying to piece some info together before they come and speak with your boyfriend.

shan 08/08/2014 at 9:36 am

My bf has 2 children with his ex wife she denied contact and now they are in their teens they have instigated contact themselves she is noe saying he raped her 14 yrs ago there was alot of abusive texts off her then she said she had reported him to the police. This was ten days ago the police haven'tbeen Iis she lieing has she rreported him what do we do now he is so scared right now and it breaks my heart he is such a sweet gentle loving man

Annie 30/05/2014 at 12:48 am

My boyfriend is in jail right now waiting for a trial because his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend decided to team up and accuse him of rape! The family and I are beside ourselves and I've been handling most of the research since his family doesn't get in from across the US until tomorrow night. I'm exhausted, broken, and so sad. We were planning on getting married, but if we can't find a way to prove that these girls are lying, then I fear the worst. I never knew that such horrible people existed. He has always been the kindest and most gentle person to me and everyone else he knows. Any help would be most appreciated!

RLucee 27/05/2014 at 9:37 pm

Hi there I am after some help please.........
I am on bail - and only see my son once a week if I am lucky, as my ex cannot always afford the train fare -(we are on good terms - so this is a genuine reason!) it is not always possible to get him to me..... does anyone know if there is such a thing as travel vouchers, or travel expenses for this sort of thing? When we were together we were on benefits .... now we have half each - leaving us both with very little to survive on.... I am desperate to see more of my son - but because of money issues cannot! Any help or advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

jed 23/02/2014 at 8:06 am

I have been whith my partner,17 years and I have 2 kids whith her evary time something goes wrong ie.bills or money owt in jenral she rings the police saying I have hit her, the truth is yes sometimes thear can be shoving and showting,but I never hit her like she says, I have been arrested 4 times now ,and was arrested again on the 20,02,2014,for her stayting I have hit her again,and have been locked up at police stacion, ,,the day I came owt she came to se me but I couldent speak to her as I would get arrested by the police,she has since been to my freands,stayting how she loves me and stuff wy is she doing this ,one moment ringing police the next saying she loves me and is sorry,,,someone please help me,,,,

msc 28/02/2013 at 9:03 pm

I am at an all time low just wished it would stop..
I have recently been helping police with there enquiries, With regards to a relationship that broke down due to my ex having yes an internet based fling with another man... And saying it was my paranoia , even though she was saying she loved him to everyone else. Other than me , and telling all of our friends not to talk to me anymore. I could take any more as I was an angry alcoholic apparantly...Two weeks ago in my new relationship,CID turned up looking for me searched the house and detained me for RAPE from 2011 ABH and ASSAULT.. I have never been so hurt Ioved her to pieces but couldnt cope with the lies as it was breaking me.. I feel was pushing me away to make space for him but that back fired now Iam happy she is trying to ruin me ... and my new family , she told solicitors i was going to be a flight risk with our toddler and a threat to his safety this was over a year ago, now this. The case is now being put forward to the cps for there views , no i wasn't an angel I shouted I screamed I was an angry man as the police tell me i worked every hour god sent for this to try and give us a life to come home everyday to find her on facebook talking to this guy .... Your advice support direction would be greatly appreciated... She said last year she would break me and that it only came to this because I had got with someone who made me happy....Police dont really seem to care about that bit......

Ask Separated Dads a question

Ask our editorial team a question and we will reply with our advice. Tell us as much about your situation as you can: the more detail you give, the more useful our answer can be.

You do not need to use your real name. Please do not include your full address, phone number, email address, or the names of other people. We may edit or remove identifying details for privacy and legal reasons.

Comments are moderated before publication.

Father's Rights Checker Tool

Parental Alienation Checker Tool

Relationship Breakdown: 'Lies' About Behaviour

Being Falsely Accused of Domestic Violence

Being Falsely Accused of Child Abuse