I'm not on my son's birth certificate and his mother and I are separated. I'm now in a new relationship and have another child and one on the way.
The thing is my son is only five and no longer wants to live with his mother. My ex contacted me and told me to collect my son as she didn't want him anymore. She said all this in front of him and he was very upset and says he wants to live with me forever.
I'd just like to know how I stand as I'm not on his birth certificate.
What does it mean if you're not on the birth certificate?
If your name is not on your child's birth certificate, you do not automatically have parental responsibility. This is the legal term for the rights and duties a parent has towards their child, including making decisions about their education, medical treatment and where they live.
However, if you were married to the mother at the time of birth, you have parental responsibility automatically, whether or not your name appears on the certificate. For unmarried fathers, being named on the birth certificate after 1 December 2003 also grants automatic parental responsibility.
Without parental responsibility, the child's mother can make all major decisions without consulting you. She could allow your child to spend time with you, but she would also have the right to ask for them back at any point. You would have no legal standing to refuse.
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Try our Father's Rights Checker free, here on this site →How to get parental responsibility
There are several ways to gain parental responsibility if you are not named on the birth certificate:
- Re-register the birth to add your name (you will need the mother's cooperation, and this applies only if the original registration did not include the father's details)
- Sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement with the mother
- Apply to the court for a Parental Responsibility Order
If you are on good terms with the mother, a Parental Responsibility Agreement may be the most straightforward option. This is a formal document that both parents sign, which must then be witnessed and filed with the Family Court. Once registered, it gives you the same parental responsibility as the mother. That said, interpersonal dynamics can complicate even legally simple processes.
Having parental responsibility in place means you have legal grounds to be involved in decisions about your child. It can also strengthen your position if disputes arise later about living arrangements or contact.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
What if the mother will not agree?
If the mother refuses to sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement, you can apply to the Family Court for a Parental Responsibility Order. Before making a court application, consider whether mediation might help resolve the dispute. Many courts expect parents to have attempted mediation first.
The court will look at factors such as your commitment to the child, your relationship with them, and whether granting the order is in the child's best interests. Courts often grant parental responsibility to fathers who can demonstrate genuine involvement and a positive relationship with their child, though outcomes depend on individual circumstances.
If paternity is disputed, DNA testing may be required to establish that you are the biological father before the court considers your application.
You do not need a solicitor to make the application, though many fathers find legal advice helpful. Citizens Advice and some local law centres offer free initial guidance. The Family Court has its own forms and guidance notes available through GOV.UK.
Why this matters
Parental responsibility is not the same as having your child live with you, and it does not automatically give you contact rights. But it does mean you have a legal stake in your child's life. Schools, doctors and other authorities must recognise your role as a parent.
It is worth noting that fathers without parental responsibility may still have financial obligations for child maintenance. If you are unsure about your current legal position, getting clear on parental responsibility is a sensible first step.
After a few months she informed me she was pregnant
Prior to this I knew she had mental issues but cared for her
She was abusive controlling and had mood swings
We broke up
At present
She wouldn't put me on birth certificate
Is being very difficult in allowing me to see and bond with my son
Continues to control change and make it difficult to visit and see my son
I cannot afford legal help
I am asking for advise regards me trying to bond and have consistent visitation with my son to build a healthy relationship with him
My other concern is her mental health and how that will impact on my sons development happiness and welbeing
Any advice appreciated
He's paid £200 every month since the child was born and had contact for the 1st year. There has never been a relationship between him and the baby's mother.
The mother suffers from irrational behaviour and thoughts and has caused great anguish to my son, posting horrible comments about him on social media and sending hundreds of irrational and vile texts. All of which have been lodged with the police. Due to this, he had to stop the contact 6mths ago because of what she was implying.
He has recently contacted her to set up mediation to try and see his son. He would like to have him 50% of the time, so I suppose that would be joint custody.
But is now worried about what effect involving the police will have on his chances of seeing his son.
Should he forget about involving the police and go for mediation and if this doesn't work go for a Court order. Or carry on with the police investigation and then apply for a Court order for joint custody.
I have a 5 year old. Who very rarely sees her biological father. At a push she will see him once every 3 months for a weekend. Without any communication in-between.
He is not on my daughter's birth certificate, he did however get a DNA test done when my daughter's was 1 year old. (Not because of an affair but because he got married and wanted out of the responsibility of our daughter)
I worry about what will happen to my daughter if I was to die.
At the moment I live with my mum, my daughter has an amazing bond with my family and also with my partner. I worry so much that if she was taken to live with her father she wouldn't see her family that she has been with all these years.Her biological father lives 3 hours away from us. I would like to know what his rights are if something happened to me. Would she automatically go to him? Should I write a will or is that pointless?
I appreciate any advice anyone can give me
Many thanks x
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