I currently have my son 3 nights a week and this has been the arrangement that my ex told me I was allowed. I work a 4 on, 4 off shift system so my weeks are 8 days. Ideally, I want to share our son 50/50 but was told by her that I should think myself lucky as most dads don't have their children anywhere near as much. Is it right that I have no hope of 50/50 custody?
I can entirely sympathise with your predicament. This may not be what you want to hear, but you do have a lot more contact with your son than most separated dads. There is no legal minimum or maximum where Custody Is Shared, as each case depends on its particular facts. In all cases, however, the court will be primarily focused on the child’s best interests. You haven’t said whether you and your ex were married or not, so all I can advise you on is if you were to make a freestanding application to the Family Court to try to enforce your right to an extra half a day a week.
Before taking any formal steps through the Family Court, it's important to understand your legal position as a separated father by using our free Rights Checker.
If You Go To Court
Of course, you will be able to judge your ex’s potential reaction to a family court case better than I can. What would she do if you told her you were taking her to court over the extra half day? This is a judgment call for you. At the moment, your custody is shared 43/57 – and while every moment with your son is extremely precious, would there be a possibility that your ex could make things a lot more difficult than they are now? I don’t know how old your son is, but what effect could his parents going to court have on him? Forgive me if I’m way off the mark here, but it seems to me as though you’re very angry that your ex has control of the situation – i.e. that she has dictated how much time you spend with your son, rather than it being a joint decision between two parents (and I can understand why you would feel this way).
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The Court’s Decision
If you were to make an application to the family court, the judge or magistrate would look at what was best for your son. This doesn’t necessarily accord with what either you or your ex wants. The court would look at both you and your ex as equals, and decide what to do about custody based on the evidence put before it. Although it used to be quite rare, courts are increasingly prepared to grant shared custody. What they are looking for is whether you and your ex can get along for the benefit of your child, and, in terms of practicality, if you live close enough to one another and the distance to your child’s school.
Another option would be to look at Mediation, which would mean that the decision would remain you and your ex’s to make rather than at the discretion of a third party. If you went to court, there is always the chance that the court could direct that you had less of a share of the custody of your son, rather than more. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide.
Unfortunately my ex will not agree to anything which isn't on the court order. I wanted to take him to football practice on a Friday and she refuses as its not my weekend. I also don't see him for around 12 days at a time. Its just too long.
I appreciate that I probably get more than others on here but I wanted to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and what the outcome was ?
This is the second time in court as my ex just refuses anything I ask for... Take him to his swimming lessons in the week.
The solicitor costs are now upwards of 5k so some guidance would be appreciated.
I hope to hear back soon
I live 10 mins from their mother and 7 minutes from their school . She’s refused mediation and keeps going on that it’s all because I will not have to pay child maintenance, not realising I will be financially worse off . She’s refused to listen to both boys who have both stated to her face they want equal time .
I’m just a normal dad who loves his time with his children I don’t drink don’t smoke don’t get drunk .. What are my chances at court and any advice during my hearing would be much appreciated. Thank you .
My ex wife left me 2 years ago for a woman..and I had to move out of our the family home which we don’t own..and had to pretty had to find accommodation etc as I have no family support here in the uk..now I’ve met someone who has been so supportive that she allows me have the kids every 2nd weekend..in a 1 bed flat..now the ex wants 50/50 custody but I can’t provide that what grounds do I stand as she trying to move them to America or that’s the only way she can save her relationship if we do 50/50 thanks Jason
Your comment fills me with rage you're lucky we are not in the same room.
You're an absolute disgrace to your children. Their father is a weak pathetic cuck.
A true father and real man NEVER gives up on his children and No other man can nor will replace him.
You're disgusting.
Hiya I know it’s been a few months but my best advice is to keep all your messages this will be valuable evidence when going to court . ask for your children as much as possible and keep a log of how often you have your children as evidence for going to court keep all of your text conversations civil and only about the children/separation and don’t give in you don’t deserve to be a bit part player in your children’s lives . In going to court know everything about the children do something routinely special with them like walks where you can talk and spend actual quality time . Also waiting is the enemy the longer you leave it to get sorted the harder it will be to sort and prove your side of the argument . Good luck and I hope everything works out well for you .
What if when a bias is shown by a court to the mother the father then identifies with being a mother which mother then gets the bias
Hence equality is the only answer
Wish to leave there mum and live with me there 16 id love for this to happen but the place I. In wouldn't accommodate more people so would I get housed through council if this was to happen
As I need a 3 bedroom house in London and to private rent would cost a ton of cash that I dont have
I stumbled upon this site accidentally and it's been a lifesaver sofar.
My story; my wife and I have been married for 13years and have 2 girls; 7 and 3.
Unfortunately and like many others in the country, I lost my job due to covid in May and whilst I was trying to deal with this, my wife told me just over a month ago that she wanted to split up which was even made harder by my emotional state from not being in work.
Regardless, I did not fight her or disagree with her and she had decided to leave the house with the kids but we agreed that as the house was all the kids knew, it would be better at least initially if they stayed in the house along with her whilst I left temporarily. (Call me an idiot I know)
I came back to the house a week and a half later at which point she tried to insist I leave again and I refused. She ended up calling the police even though I can say categorically that there was NO verbal or physical threat, just an exchange of heated words about not wanting to leave!
I was advised by family by family to please leave again as the kids were in the house and if anything such as tempers flaring happened with police being there, the image of me being taken away/detained is something I didn't want the kids to have plus how that could affect my case if we ever ended up in court.
I now temporarily stay with a mate until I can get back on my feet but I have this burning sense of injustice plus the realisation that the person I was married to for 13yrs tried to get me arrested especially as she's the one who wanted to separate.
Need some steer as to how to be done with this quick and get 50/50 custody as soon as I can get my own place but she's hinted at child maintenance costs which is useless to talk about until I get back on my feet work-wise.
How is best to navigate my scenario to get shared custody etc
Any good advise is welcome.
Thank You!
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