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Shared Custody of Your Children

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 22 Nov 2016 | comments*Discuss
 
Contact Residency Visitation Custody

There are numerous questions surrounding shared custody. What is it? How does it work? And how is it different to contact (as visitation is called these days)?

In many instances, residence (custody) is granted to the mother, and you, as the father have your contact rights set out. With shared custody, your children split their time between their mother and you. The amount varies – it can be as much as 70% with the mother, for instance – but it means you have much greater contact with them. It presumes, of course, that both the mother and father are fit parents.

UK Lagging Behind

It’s an idea that has widespread popularity in Europe, and in the U.S. it’s becoming more common, although the UK has lagged behind in adopting it.

Shared custody demands a high level of commitment from both parents. If you’re going to have your children for three days a week, then during that time you have you need to make sure your schedule revolves around them.

The Advantages of Shared Custody

Shared custody, shared residency or shared parenting as it's also known, can offer several distinct advantages, both for parents and children. For separated fathers, it means they can be far more involved with their children, seeing them on a regular, extended basis every week. Moreover, it also means that neither parent is carrying the entire burden of parenting while the other is considered absent.

With standard Contact Orders, one parent has the majority of responsibility for the day-to-day routine, while the other – usually the separated father – sees the children at the weekend or selected weekdays.

Shared custody means your Children Have Two Homes, two stable bases where they can feel secure. Above all, it means they continue to have a real family life with both parents, which makes them feel more loved.

Research has determined that when children have experience of shared custody they have better relationships with both parents and are more satisfied with their lives. It’s also shown that even when there’s strong animosity between the parents, shared custody works well for the children.

The Disadvantages of Shared Custody

For shared custody to work, you have to live fairly close to you ex, for your children to continue to attend the same schools, see their friends, and so on. This can create social problems for the parents, since proximity means an increased chance of contact with your Ex Partner.

Also, if your job or circumstances change and you have to move elsewhere, then the change from shared custody to contact can create emotional problems for your children (the same can apply if your ex has to move for any reason). In other words, by its nature there has to be a certain amount of flexibility in the plan.

Shared Custody in the UK

At present, shared custody/residency is not the norm in Britain, although several organisations are trying to increase its visibility and prominence. The Shared Parenting Information Net and the Equal Parenting Council are both working to make it a very acceptable option here.

Just because it's not necessarily the norm, does not mean you can’t bring up the idea in Mediation or through your solicitor as a viable means of custody. In most instances, children are also given a say in where they spend their time, and where they have excellent relationships with both parents, it means they’re not in a position where they have to “choose” between Mum and Dad.

What Next?

Why not have a read through our article on Making Joint Decisions About Your Child's Future for some advice and guidance on how you and your ex partner can make parenting decisions together.

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I've been with my ex for 7 years, we have a 3 year old son. We are not married as he has spent the last 4 years making excuses why he can't get married. He never helped with our son although we still live together...he doesn't wash dishes if I used them for me or son, he doesn't put clothes except his own away, doesn't wash the bottles, very rarely baths him, only pays for his mortgage and bills, informs me when he needs a nappy change, has made no effort to go to outings or kids birthday's at weekends. I work full time too and leave on time every day to pick our son up from nursery. He was not helping get him ready in the morning and I had to reduce my hours and take a pay cut.He wasn't making any decisions and when I asked for input he just never gives a straight answer. I'm exhausted trying to talk to him about things....When I've tried he either gives me the silent treatment or doesn't quite answer the question. We recently had counselling and he said that marriage is not important and he wasn't really all that bothered about having children but in the past when I had asked him he avoided the questions....I make cakes for friends kids parties as a hobby and he has said I should check with him before accepting orders from people as it impacts on him because he has to put our son to bed and it's his down time from work. I told the counsellor I wanted to move on and move out of his flat and he is now saying our son should live with him and all records, like nursery, doctor should remain at his address as it's the only house our son knows. I'm just not sure what is the right thing to do for my son. I don't want to take his father from him but I can't take much more of his behaviour. I want to move a short distance away as we have already chosen a school and he will start next year. I have many friends with children our sons age who go to that school and all my family live in Australia so don't have family here and his family show no interest in helping at all. He has now stopped including me in all his family events.I was advised I can move out and take Oliver but concerned that he will be upset about not being in the flat anymore and seeing his father every day or the cat. The nursery are currently teaching the children about loving our house. I need help!
Kirsty - 22-Nov-16 @ 2:43 PM
Hi to cut a long story short my ex ran off with my daughter when she was a year old. I hired a private detective to find her I asttempted mediation twice she refused sdsdo I took her to court again she fled in the end the court ordered DWP to disclose her whereabouts. It went to court and as my daughter whom was now 3 had been away from me for so long asndc my ex had led her to believe her new partner wass her dad I had to go through a contact centre had 6 sessions it went really well went back to court and my ex requested more session which I had to pay for I might add. Anyway its been 7 months since the 6 other sessions were ordered the first lot were every other week this time I've seen her 4 times in 7 months as my ex works abroad she cascasnt make herself available apparently so my daughter is left with her current pasrtner or child minder I've submitted a c79 but wondered if I shouldc apply for joint residency as my ex is never around??? I'd love to have my daughter I'm also Kent to have indirect contact and she refuses me
Chris - 19-Nov-16 @ 5:58 PM
My partner and I seperated in Feb for financial problems. Anyway, Iver never had a problem seeing them. But it's always on her terms in her house. She won't let me take them anywhere. She drinks everyday and uses my visits to get wrecked. Whilst drinking isn't a sin, doing it in front of 2 very young children whilst her other children from previous relationships are drinking too (1 very under age) and supplying cigarettes and vodka to half the estates school kids, inviting blokes back whilst I'm there and trying to be violent. In the past her family have stolen from me too. I always go back to see my kids but it's too much now. I need access to them where I don't need to see her. What's my best option.
Hopeful dad - 19-Nov-16 @ 1:13 PM
Hi to cut a long story short my ex ran off with my daughter when she was a year old. I hired a private detective to find her I asttempted mediation twice she refused sdsdo I took her to court again she fled in the end the court ordered DWP to disclose her whereabouts. It went to court and as my daughter whom was now 3 had been away from me for so long asndc my ex had led her to believe her new partner wass her dad I had to go through a contact centre had 6 sessions it went really well went back to court and my ex requested more session which I had to pay for I might add. Anyway its been 7 months since the 6 other sessions were ordered the first lot were every other week this time I've seen her 4 times in 7 months as my ex works abroad she cascasnt make herself available apparently so my daughter is left with her current pasrtner or child minder I've submitted a c79 but wondered if I shouldc apply for joint residency as my ex is never around??? I'd love to have my daughter I'm also Kent to have indirect contact and she refuses me
Chris - 19-Nov-16 @ 2:18 AM
how do the courts see the dad taking full custody? my ex palms our daughter for to her nan and mum, half the time my daughters nan takes her to school, social services have been round as they were concerned about her criminal drug taking boyfriend. where do I stand on this, she would be far better with me, she can go to the same school as we live in same area. she never wants ti go home after being with me, tells me her mums new boyfriend always goes to a certain 'friend' but he only pops in while they wait for him (sounds like visiting a dealer). What evidence or grounds do I have? thanks in advance
mr.s - 16-Nov-16 @ 8:47 PM
Unhappy Dad - Your Question:
Hi there.I wont go into the full ins and outs of my divorce what has happenend. But straight to the problem.My ex lives in the UK with my 3 kids, I moved abroad to Germany to live with my new partner (who I met after my ex and I split up).Long story short. I would like for my kids to be in a position to come and visit me here, over the last 2 years I have been visiting them once a month ( on 2 occasions I had a 3 month and a 4 month period where I did not see them which was down to my ex being awkward)I would be happy to come over and pick the kids up for a week or 2 during holidays but she's not allowing it. Here in Germany there is a law that the person living abroad has the right for their kids to visit at his or her home.Is there such a thing in the UK?Thanks

Our Response:
Your only option if your children are UK based is to take the matter through the UK courts. There is no mandatory rule in the UK that allows the children to visit the non-resident parent in their home, it is up to the courts to decide what it thinks is in the best interests of the children.
SeparatedDads - 16-Nov-16 @ 2:53 PM
Hi there... I wont go into the full ins and outs of my divorce what has happenend. But straight to the problem. My ex lives in the UK with my 3 kids, I moved abroad to Germany to live with my new partner (who I met after my ex and I split up). Long story short. I would like for my kids to be in a position to come and visit me here, over the last 2 years I have been visiting them once a month ( on 2 occasions I had a 3 month and a 4 month period where I did not see them which was down to my ex being awkward) I would be happy to come over and pick the kids up for a week or 2 during holidays but she's not allowing it. Here in Germany there is a law that the person living abroad has the right for their kids to visit at his or her home... Is there such a thing in the UK? Thanks
Unhappy Dad - 15-Nov-16 @ 4:16 PM
Daddy - Your Question:
Hi there, So my female partner of 16 months left our family home with our 3 month old baby in July 2016. She had called the police one night after a basic disagreement and I woke up to find them at my front door.I was arrested for common assault but released after 7 hours with no charge due to lack of evidence.as it never happenedI returned home to an empty house my partner, child & lots of my belongings gone.This experience has hit me so hard because we were extreamly happy & in a brilliant place with our new baby-every day she was telling me how happy she was.She has now moved 70 miles from our family home to her parents home & I am travelling there twice a week to see our child, she is allowing me 1-2 hours per visit with my baby and not including me in any decisions for our child future, I am paying for food, milk, clothes toys-the total cost of the baby's development but feel my contact with the child at such a great distance away.I am awaiting a contact order to go into place in December, her parents are very controlling and telling her exactly how to play things in order to make my life very difficult, but is there anything I can do to increase my contact with my daughter? Thanks in advance

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. It doesn't help if your ex has moved out of the area. You are doing the right thing by taking the matter further. I can only suggest you make sure you attend every visit and keep to agreements made. Avoid any confrontation and once it reaches court, Cafcass/and/or the court will decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests. In the meantime, make sure you read all the Separated Dads pages as they will help you understand your situation more clearly and what your options are. Cafcass may get involved, so please also see: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here. If your ex does not agree to increase contact, then there is little you can do to until the court decides.
SeparatedDads - 15-Nov-16 @ 11:51 AM
Hi there, So my female partner of 16 months left our family home with our 3 month old baby in July 2016. She had called the police one night after a basic disagreement and I woke up to find them at my front door.... I was arrested for common assault but released after 7 hours with no charge due to lack of evidence....as it never happened I returned home to an empty house my partner, child & lots of my belongings gone. This experience has hit me so hard because we were extreamly happy & in a brilliant place with our new baby-every day she was telling me how happy she was. She has now moved 70 miles from our family home to her parents home & I am travelling there twice a week to see our child, she is allowing me 1-2 hours per visit with my baby and not including me in any decisions for our child future, I am paying for food, milk, clothes toys-the total cost of the baby's development but feel my contact with the child at such a great distance away. I am awaiting a contact order to go into place in December, her parents are very controlling and telling her exactly how to play things in order to make my life very difficult, but is there anything I can do to increase my contact with my daughter? Thanks in advance
Daddy - 14-Nov-16 @ 5:46 PM
Pip - Your Question:
My wife is having an affair and she left the marital home (of her own accord) on Nov 5th with my daughter aged 8. She has agreed that I can have contact with my daughter 3 nights per week HOWEVER she is stipulating that my mother can only collect her from school on one day per week. She has given no reason for this. My mother has collected and cared for my daughter on a regular basis throughout her nursery/school days and always at my wife's request and my daughter has a very close relationship with her nan. I work full time and wife is seemingly trying to make things as awkward as possible for me by placing this restriction upon my access. My solicitor has contacted her in order to ascertain her objections for her not wanting my mother to collect my daughter more than one day per week but with no response. I have now had a pre-mediation assessment and the mediator agreed this case is suitable for mediation although my wife does not have to agree to this. Can you advise whether my wife has the right to restrict my mother's access in the way that she's doing and if she's not willing to attend mediation, would court action be appropriate?

Our Response:
If your wife is denying your mother access to your child, and if your ex refuses mediation, your only redress would be to take the matter to court and let the court decide what it thinks is in your daughter's best interests. There are no set rules on what a parent with parental responsibility can and cannot do prior to a court order.
SeparatedDads - 14-Nov-16 @ 2:34 PM
My wife is having an affair and she left the marital home (of her own accord) on Nov 5th with my daughter aged 8. She has agreed that I can have contact with my daughter 3 nights per week HOWEVER she is stipulating that my mother can only collect her from school on one day per week. She has given no reason for this. My mother has collected and cared for my daughter on a regular basis throughout her nursery/school days and always at my wife's request and my daughter has a very close relationship with her nan. I work full time and wife is seemingly trying to make things as awkward as possible for me by placing this restriction upon my access. My solicitor has contacted her in order to ascertain her objections for her not wanting my mother to collect my daughter more than one day per week but with no response. I have now had a pre-mediation assessment and the mediator agreed this case is suitable for mediation although my wife does not have to agree to this. Can you advise whether my wife has the right to restrict my mother's access in the way that she's doing and if she's not willing to attend mediation, would court action be appropriate?
Pip - 14-Nov-16 @ 8:57 AM
Worried parent - Your Question:
Hi my ex partner has our son for 3 nights he picks our son up at school on a Friday until Monday which got sorted at court he started asking for food over for our son in which I have give over a few times I have picked my son up he didn't get a bath once when he stayed over with his dad now he is asking for money saying he hasn't got any gas or power please help do I need too give my ex Monet for gas while my son is staying at his

Our Response:
No, you are under no obligation to give your money to your ex. It puts you in a difficult position, as invariably you will want to ensure sure your son is well cared for when he's with your ex. However, whether you give money to your ex is purely as your discretion. Some families work it out between them, some will keep their financial affairs completely separate. Much is up to you. As a last resort, you may be able to take the matter back to court and ask for a variation on the order, as if you go against the order, it means you will be in breach. If you can justify the breach because you have a good reason, then the court will listen. But, in this case, you may wish to voice your concerns to your ex directly and try to resolve the issue between you.
SeparatedDads - 7-Nov-16 @ 1:42 PM
Hi my ex partner has our son for 3 nights he picks our son up at school on a Friday until Monday which got sorted at court he started asking for food over for our son in which I have give over a few times I have picked my son up he didn't get a bath once when he stayed over with his dad now he is asking for money saying he hasn't got any gas or power please help do I need too give my ex Monet for gas while my son is staying at his
Worried parent - 6-Nov-16 @ 10:14 PM
Hello, I wonder if I can get a little information as this topic seems as straight forward as a rubix cube! I split with my ex-partner around 6 months ago due to her cheating. We have a 3 year old boy together and I've been in his life since day one and my name(as well as the exes) is on the birth certificate. Our son spends most of his time with me as she likes to be out drinking, partying and shopping. I have my son 4 nights per week, sometimes 5 nights per week and when it comes to taking him to his mother's he cries to stay with me. I don't claim any benefits for my son, his mother gets them all, but it's not about the money for me. I'd like to know where I stand with claiming custody? Thanks guys.
myboy_myworld - 3-Nov-16 @ 11:23 PM
Boca - Your Question:
My brother in law has been in court trying to gain access to his son, he has managed to get a court order to see him 2 days a week but back at court today the judge has cancelled the court order and told her to grow up and that the days will be discussed between lawyers but we have known from the past she will not do anything. Not once in the last year has she came out to collect him from car or make any form of contact. What are his options?

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this and what a frustrating result for your brother and more money in the pockets of the solicitors. I'm afraid, if his ex does not do anything, your brother will have to take the matter back to court and hope that he gets a judge that will enforce an order properly, please see link here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 1-Nov-16 @ 12:18 PM
My brother in law has been in court trying to gain access to his son, hehas managed to get a court order to see him 2 days a week but back at court today the judge has cancelled the court order and told her to grow up and that the days will be discussed between lawyers but we have known from the past she will not do anything.Not once in the last year has she came out to collect him from car or make any form of contact.What are his options?
Boca - 31-Oct-16 @ 4:34 PM
Pip - Your Question:
My wife has been having an affair for over 3 months but we have remained in the marital home with our daughter aged 8. My wife has just given me 8 days notice that she intends to take my daughter to live in a rented property not far from our marital home. She has presented me with a list if things she intends to take from home and a list of custody dates, both of which I find unacceptable. I want joint custody and my daughter has indicated that Is her preference too. I intend to seek legal advice but can you advise whether my daughters opinion would be listened to in any mediation hearing? Also, am I within my rights to stop ny wife taking property from the marital home without formal agreement? And in terms of custody, can I take any sort of interim order to formalise custody rights in the short term?

Our Response:
I'm afraid these sort of issues are never as straightforward as we'd like them to be, especially regarding access to your daughter. Mediation (see link here) is more about trying to come to an agreement between both your ex and yourself and if your ex refuses shared-care through the mediation process, and if you both can't agree on a resolution, then your next option would be to apply to court. If the matter goes to court, then while your child's opinion would be considered, a court will always decide upon what it thinks is in your child's best interests. If you are a hands-on dad who spends a lot of time caring for your daughter on a day-to-day basis, then this will be taken into consideration. However, if you are not, then it is usual that it is the mother who becomes primary carer and the father is awarded access. With regards to your ex removing items from your home, you can go to the extreme of changing the locks to try to prevent this, but there are repercussions, please see link here which will explain more. Rational discussions are always the best way of solving issues such as this, as once parents begin pulling in different directions, then issues can spiral out of control. You may wish to seek legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 31-Oct-16 @ 12:26 PM
My wife has been having an affair for over 3 months but we have remained in the marital home with our daughter aged 8. My wife has just given me 8 days notice that she intends to take my daughter to live in a rented property not far from our marital home. She has presented me with a list if things she intends to take from home and a list of custody dates, both of which I find unacceptable. I want joint custody and my daughter has indicated that Is her preference too. I intend to seek legal advice but can you advise whether my daughters opinion would be listened to in any mediation hearing? Also, am I within my rights to stop ny wife taking property from the marital home without formal agreement? And in terms of custody, can I take any sort of interim order to formalise custody rights in the short term?
Pip - 30-Oct-16 @ 9:01 PM
Echo - Your Question:
My brother has split with his common law partner. They have a young son together. He wants to sell their house and split the money or buy her out. She and her family just wants him to leave and give the house to her. While she can't justify (or afford) living in a 4 bed home with just her and their son I have a feeling she is planning on having her parents move in and them selling their house etc. Because he won't leave the house (he has never been abusive etc.) as advised by his solicitor, she had left and taken their son and now refuses to let him see him - he hasn't seen him for over a week now (how vindictive can you get!). Next stage in the process that his solicitor is putting forwards is mediation (which she will likely refuse). What are his options / does anyone have any advice? Thanks

Our Response:
Court is the next option if the matter cannot be resolved between parties either mutually or via suggested mediation. A court will always make a decision based upon what it thinks is the child's best interests, whether that means requesting your brother's ex moves back into the house with the child, selling the house, and whether access should be granted. The parents arguing amongst themsleves will be treated as superfluous. Therefore, we cannot predict what a court may decide as much will depend upon the circumstances (practical, financial etc) of each party concerned, but most of all the child.
SeparatedDads - 24-Oct-16 @ 11:09 AM
Share care 50/50 any help please? I was with my ex partner for 9 years, we never got married and we had a beautiful daughter which is almost 8 yo now, both of us are in the birth certificate. I have been heavily involved in my daughter growing as the mum used to work night shifts, so I took care of her overnights, school and everything else, also I'm Italian and she has been 11 times in Italy even under the grandparents supervision only in summer time only and she speaks fluently Italian. We recently split up with the mum and my daughter asked me to spend more days with me which because the mum refuse to listen me or either my daughter I took a solicitors and going to court. I attended mediation and the mum didn't, I got a lawyer and the mum will represent herself, Cafcass got involved but as no welfare concerns where raised from either of us they cannot be involved but they seems positive the fact that I kept contact with my daughter. The mum involved my daughter in adult conversations, showing solicitors and court letters to her and I received treats from her family which have been recorded by police. I have a new partner and I move to a bigger house to have an extra spare room for my daughter. I would be able to drop/pick her up from school and look after her as I live close to my daughter house and school. The mum is unable to drop/pick her up from school and she delegates relative family members and friends and childcare and she denying me to drop/pick her up as she know I can claim contact costs with CSA (even though my daughter asked her lots of times that she prefers see me in the morning and get a lift by car rather than walking). She said to Cafcass that she refuses share care and she would agree to alternated weekends and one night a week at mine which I don't accept as all the above reasons, but the main is that my daughter asked me to spend more time with me at my house and Im fighting for her wishes (got all on video while she asked me that) and to bring her to holiday to Italy without her mum permission as her mum doesn't want to send her there anymore to do something against my parents. I got my first hearing in 2 weeks time, I spend almost 2K in lawyer and 1.7K to move house to be able to accommodate my daughter. Will I have any chances to have share care for my daughter? Please advise. Thanks so much.
Theloyaldad - 23-Oct-16 @ 2:25 PM
My brother has split with his common law partner. They have a young son together.He wants to sell their house and split the money or buy her out. She and her family just wants him to leave and give the house to her. While she can't justify (or afford) living in a 4 bed home with just her and their son I have a feeling she is planning on having her parents move in and them selling their house etc. Because he won't leave the house (he has never been abusive etc.) as advised by his solicitor, she had left and taken their son and now refuses to let him see him - he hasn't seen him for over a week now (how vindictive can you get!). Next stage in the process that his solicitor is putting forwards is mediation (which she will likely refuse). What are his options / does anyone have any advice? Thanks
Echo - 23-Oct-16 @ 10:46 AM
My sister divorced her husband recently and she is going through court proceedings for her child her ex was abusive and bribes her son to go to his house, he now wants shared custody would the court grant this purely based on the fact that his parents who he lives with fosters and he has a 6 bedroom house even though there is a public video of him doing class A drugs on video and being racist?
LaceySparkz - 21-Oct-16 @ 10:38 PM
Nix - Your Question:
In response, no. I have to go to court next month.

Our Response:
OK, so you are further down the line than first anticipated. It is highly unlikely a court will remove a child from a resident parent and hand your child over to the non-resident parent unless absolutely necessary. You don't say what the concerns are and/or whether the concerns have been reported/have gounds/or been investigated by Social Services, so it makes it difficult to advise. The court will always decide upon what it thinks is in your child's best interests and consistently and stability are of the most importance. Likewise, if the court thinks your child would not benefit from the complicated logistics of shared-care, then it will not opt for it. As long as the accustations are unfounded and based upon heresay and not actual evidence, then it is unlikely the court would hand your child over to your ex. Cafcass will also get involved, if they haven't been already and you can voice your concerns, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 21-Oct-16 @ 11:39 AM
In response, no. I have to go to court next month.
Nix - 20-Oct-16 @ 3:17 PM
Nix - Your Question:
I have a 4 year old and I have a letter saying my abusive ex wants to have emergency full custody or shared custody because he apparently has "concerns". I am open to shared custody but I'm worried about how likely this will be. We also live 9 miles from each other. I'm worrying about school and his doctor's, which area would the school be in as we live in separate boroughs/councils? His doctor's surgery is in my borough. My housing situation relies on the fact that my child lives with me. Like I said, I am open to shared custody but I'm worried about the repercussions in every day life for both me and my son.

Our Response:
If the letter is from your ex's solicitor, then you are not under any legal obligation to adhere to it. You may in turn wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options, and/or suggest attending mediation with your ex to see if you could come to some sort of arrangement.
SeparatedDads - 20-Oct-16 @ 2:21 PM
I have a 4 year old and I have a letter saying my abusive ex wants to have emergency full custody or shared custody because he apparently has "concerns". I am open to shared custody but I'm worried about how likely this will be. We also live 9 miles from each other. I'm worrying about school and his doctor's, which area would the school be in as we live in separate boroughs/councils? His doctor's surgery is in my borough. My housing situation relies on the fact that my child lives with me. Like I said, I am open to shared custody but I'm worried about the repercussions in every day life for both me and my son.
Nix - 19-Oct-16 @ 8:38 PM
Tray - Your Question:
My 22 year old daughter s. Ex partner wants 50/50 custody ,they split up when she got pregnant had nothing to do with the pregnancy did see his daughter a after a while cause my daughter took her to his mums,never paid maintenance in 4 years ,he started having her one night a week when she was about 2 several fall outs have happened he's hurt her twice that I know of ( I have photos ) police were in. Valves but Hayley did not press charges.please help me in what's going to happen we are worried sick

Our Response:
It is highly unlikely that your daughter's ex will be awarded joint-residency through the court if he has had little involvement with his child. A court will always decide what is in the child's best interests and stability and consistency are considered most important. Upping the access from one night per week to shared-care will rarely be considered.
SeparatedDads - 19-Oct-16 @ 11:24 AM
My 22 year old daughter s. Ex partner wants 50/50 custody ,they split up when she got pregnant had nothing to do with the pregnancy did see his daughter a after a while cause my daughter took her to his mums,never paid maintenance in 4 years ,he started having her one night a week when she was about 2 several fall outs have happened he's hurt her twice that I know of ( I have photos ) police were in. Valves but Hayley did not press charges.please help me in what's going to happen we are worried sick
Tray - 18-Oct-16 @ 2:15 PM
mrsbean - Your Question:
My ex and I divorced and both remarried someone else and I have 4 kids with him and a child with my husband now.my ex has just had a baby 2 months ago. Before they would have the kids and over night here and then. Even though court shared the custody and he was ment to have the wed for few hours and Sunday. Because of him keep changing work I was being nice and letting him see them when he can. But now he say he works nights most nights and dont have them over night and get told dates fpr him to have them few days before if not on the day! His wife won't even let me text her no more to sort dates out as its nothing. To do with her now they have their other child. What rights have I got to aak for them to have the kids every other weekend from Friday to Sunday even tho he works nights

Our Response:
I'm afraid there are no legal rules/rights that will force a non-resident parent to take care of their child where they do not wish to.
SeparatedDads - 17-Oct-16 @ 12:51 PM
My ex and I divorced and both remarried someone else and I have 4 kids with him and a child with my husband now.my ex has just had a baby 2 months ago. Before they would have the kids and over night here and then. Even though court shared the custody and he was ment to have the wed for few hours and Sunday. Because of him keep changing work I was being nice and letting him see them when he can. But now he say he works nights most nights and dont have them over night and get told dates fpr him to have them few days before if not on the day! His wife won't even let me text her no more to sort dates out as its nothing. To do with her now they have their other child. What rights have I got to aak for them to have the kids every other weekend from Friday to Sunday even tho he works nights
mrsbean - 16-Oct-16 @ 2:33 PM
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