If you've been granted unsupervised contact by the court, can you take other family members with you? Can the courts or the other party stop you?
Nobody actively wants to be separated from their children, or even have the contact prescribed by another party. Unfortunately, when relations between two separating couples have broken down to such a degree, courts have to intervene to preserve the relationship between child and parent. One method of doing that is through a Contact Order.
What is a Contact Order?
This is when a Family Court prescribes what contact a parent can have with a child of the relationship. The types and ways that a court can impose a contact order are as widely ranging as you can imagine. The aim will be to safeguard the interests of the child, while still preserving the 'presumption of contact' that parents have. From Direct to Indirect contact, Supervised to Unsupervised contact, the courts will make a decision based on the competing interests of each party involved in the proceedings.
Unsupervised Contact
This is exactly what it sounds like. The court that made the order has stipulated that you do not have arrangements in place to have contact supervised by another, such as a Social Worker or neutral party. Or possibly, in a place stipulated by the court, for instance a contact centre. This does not extend to taking the child out of the country on holiday or removing children beyond the contact period. Unsupervised contact orders can still determine whom contact is with, and this is where problems often arise. This is not to say these issues cannot be resolved.
Who Can Come to Contact Sessions?
Simply, those who have not been refused permission to attend by the court are likely to be able to attend contact. Before the Contact Order was granted this would have been discussed between each party. If there was an objection to be raised, it could have been brought to attention in meetings or in negotiations.
Can the Court or Another Party Stop me?
The short answer to this is yes. In some instances, there may be a reason where a court or another party feel that an individual or a number of people will not be allowed contact with a child. Be prepared for this group to be your close or extended family. In order for this to be made official, the contact order will be referred back to the court for alteration or it will be part of the original order, it will be made a condition of contact. This decision will be made in the best interests of the child, as their welfare is the primary consideration of the court. The decision to not allow contact between a child and another individual is no reflection on any party personally, the court has to consider the child's welfare and in some circumstances this will mean curtailing access to individuals.
What if it Goes Wrong?
Contact between you and any child or children should be a wonderful time to ensure you are still a central figure in your child's upbringing. Should the contact order fall into any difficulty, the main consideration should be to resolve the situation amicably or in court. Any party found to be using a child as a vent for frustration will not be taken lightly. If you are in doubt about whether or not a child should be having contact with a particular person, ask! If you feel that the reasons given are unreasonable or unjustified, talk to your family solicitor and see what your options are, the situation may still be able to be sorted amicably, it may require further intervention.
Forging a positive working relationship with an ex-partner is just as important as the relationship with your child. This will help the child feel comfortable and assured if they are not being used as a pawn in what will be a difficult and uncertain time for everyone.
Remember to enjoy contact with your child; this is time for just you and them to ensure that your bond remains strong. Try to resolve any difference of opinion in the most amicable way possible and if you are unsure, ask.
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Hi I've got oneson who's 2 years old and 3 months old when I was pregnantmy ex didn't wanted me to have a child as he told me wanted me to do an abortion and i told him no .So one day he throw shoes at me as he lost his job just because he wanted too .I've known him for 4 yearshe's got anger issues with himself . One day I met up with him so he can see his child at the park and I didn't accept his gf to be playing with my son. They was doing this infront of melike they are happy family and he was about to go at me like to hurt me and I felt threatened. His gf stopped him .I always care for my son's life and not my ex cause I don't care about him he suppose to not to bring his gf with him.Now we've got court order to do the meeting up
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cindybyrd - 21-Dec-22 @ 8:03 AM
Hi I’m just wondering really as my auntie has special guardianship on my son has done for two years. Due to my drinking and arguments with my partner. Since then a lot has changed I’ve moved house had a baby and cut the drink. I get one visit a week with my son but my auntie is always there. I want to pick him up from school and have unsupervised can she make this decision herself ? How do I go about getting unsupervised contact ? Thank you
LM - 12-Jul-22 @ 9:42 AM
@millymollymandy.yeah sure is fine and dandy he is allowed to find another women good on him I think .if he is anything like myself he most likely upgraded to younger prettier companion .
Chris - 16-Jul-20 @ 12:00 AM
My brother has been removed from his children due to emotional abuse etc. He is only allowed supervised contact. He has recently moved in with his girlfriend who has three children under the age of five. Is this allowed ?
Millymollymandy - 15-Jul-20 @ 10:44 PM
Hi i am just wanting some advice I have fighting to get unsupervised for my child as I was a heavy drinker and I was taking drugs in the passed but I have passed all my courses and I am currently looking for work I a currently a volunteer for a charity shop local to me and I have only seen my daughter for 29hirs in total for 4 months I am back at court on the 10th of Feb
Becka - 30-Jan-20 @ 12:00 PM
My husband split with his ex wife before their child turned one and had to take his ex to court in order to be given access to his child (she said the only way he would get to see the child was if he took her to court). Court granted access to him twice weekly despite her claims that she was scared he would take the child away from her. This contact agreement was NOT for supervised contact however ever since this was granted she has insisted on being present even when he tells her he is uncomfortable spending time together and in her home (where the contact sometimes takes place). They had a very difficult relationship and are not on good speaking terms which cannot be pleasant for their child, let alone each other. What can he do now?
Jenny1801 - 20-Aug-19 @ 4:43 PM
Hi. 7 weeks ago my wife who is here in the UK on a spouse visa left the family home with my 2 year old boy without telling me. A few days later I received a non molestation order on an ex parte basis. She lied about domestic abuse and violence in order to get free legal aid and stat in the country. I could have contested the charge since I had some proof that she lied about things on her statement. Instead we both signed an undertaking that we cannot contact each other for a year. I haven't seen my son for weeks and am missing him like crazy. I don't know what to do. Is the only way I can see him by applying through the courts for a child arrangements order? I dont know where my wife and child are exactly and cannot contact them due to the undertaking.
David - 27-Mar-19 @ 11:38 AM
Simone harries - Your Question:
Hi I have a 5 yr old son who was mentally abused by the father been fighting in court just for supervised contact. As he is also prone to absconding out of the country social services and caff class lies during the case and judge give said father full acsess and no restrictions and no home adress or contact details what can I do to protect him from any more harm
Our Response:
Your ex would not be able to absond from the country with your child, without your permission. If a court order has been put in place and Cafcass have investigated, then there is little you can do. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Therefore, if the court has ruled the child's father is safe to have the access to your son, then you would have to seek further legal advice to see whether you can challenge this.
SeparatedDads - 22-May-18 @ 12:35 PM
Hi I have a 5 yr old son who was mentally abused by the father been fighting in court just for supervised contact. As he is also prone to absconding out of the country social services and caff class lies during the case and judge give said father full acsess and no restrictions and no home adress or contact details what can I do to protect him from any more harm
Simone - 21-May-18 @ 10:34 PM
As regards the issues i just wanted to add that i once facing infidelity in marriage and i was suspecting my partner of extra marital affairs,i wasnt really sure of it but his ways have changed and he was really acting weird i just knew he was doing somethings...thank god i met Ghostofthedark who helped me get into his phone without even touching it,That was how i was able to catch him in the act thanks to Ghostofthedark,You can also contact them:ghostofthedark@cyberservices. com or 213 349-2745? because you may need him for somethings
tashnic - 7-May-18 @ 4:05 AM
Andy - Your Question:
My friend is trying to gain access to his daughter and constantly being disrupted by his and her new partner. He got a non-supervised contact order for two hours in a contact centre which lasted two weeks because she accused him of harming the daughter and when social services cleared him she blamed contact centre. Contact was re-established but at a public childrens play centre. Now she refuses to leave and brings her 2 year old son and says she's entitled to be there. Her partner also turns up and says he has a right to be present. My question is: Does non-supervised contact mean just one-to-one contact and can the mother and partner be told to leave or does he have to go back to court?
Our Response:
A solicitor's letter from your friend to the mother of his child outlining the terms of the agreement may work here. If the court order says non-supervision, then his ex is breaching the order by being present in a situation where the court has agreed she does not have to be. However, if his ex continues to insist on being present, then your friend would have to refer the matter back to court.
SeparatedDads - 9-Oct-17 @ 11:56 AM
My friend is trying to gain access to his daughter and constantly being disrupted by his and her new partner. He got a non-supervised contact order for two hours in a contact centre which lasted two weeks because she accused him of harming the daughter and when social services cleared him she blamed contact centre. Contact was re-established but at a public childrens play centre. Now she refuses to leave and brings her 2 year old son and says she's entitled to be there. Her partner also turns up and says he has a right to be present. My question is: Does non-supervised contact mean just one-to-one contact and can the mother and partner be told to leave or does he have to go back to court?
Andy - 8-Oct-17 @ 1:40 PM
My son has had 3.5 days access for over 12 months and because of a disagreement at the weekend his partner is refusing access unless he does what she says - however I can still have access as long as I don't let my son see the baby - can anyone help
Rosieposie - 28-Mar-17 @ 9:32 PM
Jonno - Your Question:
Girlfriends ex husband forced her to put her youngest as his on birth certificate.no probs has been obtained but a contact was put in place prior to his name removal off birth certificate.he is no longer on birth certificate and court refusing to take away contact order.where do we stand on getting contact order revoked
Our Response:
Your only option is to apply through the courts. It will be up to the courts to decide what it thinks is in the child's best interests.
SeparatedDads - 8-Sep-16 @ 10:40 AM
Girlfriends ex husband forced her to put her youngest as his on birth certificate....no probs has been obtained but a contact was put in place prior to his name removal off birth certificate.....he is no longer on birth certificate and court refusing to take away contact order......where do we stand on getting contact order revoked
Jonno - 7-Sep-16 @ 12:22 PM
karen - Your Question:
My daughter went to live with another family member after my child was cruelly taken from me, iv tried everything to try and get more contact or even for her to come home. The courts said it was a six month care order. That was 56 years ago and everywhere I go to get help with trying to get her back don't seem to want to help atall. My sister told ss a lot of things that were not true and even the ss said they thought she was only taking my child in for the money she would get. There was no other things put by the court apart from supervised contact. I had my child with me for 7 yrs before this happened. I'm not even allowed to know where she lives. I feel really let down, I need to know if my child is ok. My sister refused to speak to me when all this happened and even stopped my 3 day week contact. Down to 1 day a week then to 1 day a month, I even had to give my child her Xmas present and birthday presents at macdonalds. My sister was allowed to bring my child down if my child wanted to, but she has never ever bout her to me. Now iv not seen my child for 2 yrs as I got a letter stating my child didn't want to see me.my child was scared that she would go to strangers if she upset my sister. N I believe this is the reason she chose not to see me. I'm desperate to find out how she is doing. I'm very worried that my sister may have changed my daughters second name to her name. I just don't know what to do anymore, my child and I were very close, it was just me and her together for 7 yrs, n we had a brilliant relationship, she is a very quiet polite child but I do worry. And members of my family on my mother's side refuse to tell me how she is. Have I got any rights????
Our Response:
I'm afraid this is very difficult to advise on. If Social Services and the courts have been involved then this means your case is more complex and we do not have the knowledge of your background case in order to answer. In addition this site is purely for general questions, not more specific ones. I can only suggest you seek some legal advice. The Family Lives helpline heremay be of help if you need someone to talk to directly and who may be able to point you in the right direction. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 6-May-16 @ 10:16 AM
That is meant to say 5-6 yrs ago in my comment
karen - 5-May-16 @ 10:49 AM
My daughter went to live with another family member after my child was cruelly taken from me, iv tried everything to try and get more contact or even for her to come home. The courts said it was a six month care order. That was 56 years ago and everywhere I go to get help with trying to get her back don't seem to want to help atall. My sister told ss a lot of things that were not true and even the ss said they thought she was only taking my child in for the money she would get. There was no other things put by the court apart from supervised contact.I had my child with me for 7 yrs before this happened. I'm not even allowed to know where she lives. I feel really let down, i need to know if my child is ok. My sister refused to speak to me when all this happened and even stopped my 3day week contact. Down to 1 day a week then to 1 day a month, i even had to give my child her Xmas present and birthday presents at macdonalds.My sister was allowed to bring my child down if my child wanted to, but she has never ever bout her to me. Now iv not seen my child for 2 yrs as i got a letter stating my child didn't want to see me.my child was scared that she would go to strangers if she upset my sister. N i believe this is the reason she chose not to see me. I'm desperate to find out how she is doing. I'm very worried that my sister may have changed my daughters second name to her name. I just don't know what to do anymore, my child and i were very close, it was just me and her together for 7 yrs, n we had a brilliant relationship, she is a very quiet polite child but i do worry. And members of my family on my mother's side refuse to tell me how she is. Have I got any rights????
karen - 5-May-16 @ 10:47 AM
@Joy - hopefully the courts will see through this. They are accustomed to this sort of behaviour and will not tolerate it and they are in favour of fathers seeing their children. You may be interested in our posting: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access here which tells you what you should do in this situation. There are also other pages such as How to Represent Yourself here, which helps cut the costs on legal fees.You/he may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful, as there are many parents going through exactly the same issues and can offer some great advice.
SeparatedDads - 28-May-15 @ 11:20 AM
My son and his partner have split up and they have a son of one year. My son has been an excellent father.
She wrote letters to his boss telling lies to get him the sack, posted very inappropriate photos on his face book page via his old phone. She
Won't let him see his son.
We are going to a solicitor tomorrow but she is so twisted and sick she will lie lie lie to stop him seeing his son..
I keep reading about this and the way mothers lie to stop fathers seeing their children. I am sick with concern..
Joy - 25-May-15 @ 4:16 PM
Hiya I need help my mom has special guardian ship of my 3 year old son I have contact once a week all day my contact was only supervised cuz of his so called dad but he's no longer in my life what do I do about getting unsupervised contact so I'm able to walk the shop with him take him on the park not to b stuck in the house all day what's that for. 3 year old
tasha - 4-May-15 @ 12:55 PM
@Dave N - this link to our partner site Grandparents who are Denied Access may help you. link here.
SeparatedDads - 28-Nov-14 @ 2:23 PM
I'm a granparent, do i have any rights to see my granddaughter as my son's ex has stopped me from seeing her for no good reason?
DaveN - 26-Nov-14 @ 10:29 AM
I'm suffering the affects of an economic burden / disadvantage it's being going on now for almost three yearsI'm £17.000 in solicitor fees I'm asked to pay my ex partners legal aid costs £8000She has requested £1200 per month until the kids reach 16On top of CSA paymentsShe wants 50 % of the home the deposit was a 70/30 deposit me paying the larger amountShe's now forced the sale although I have paid every mortgage payment for 9 yearsI got a refund on my council tax for paying to much she wants half the refund although never paid a pennyAt present she's chasing £140,000 of what I have worked forShe will not work and has stated thisShe stays in a house worth £260,000 a present from her dadShe shows a £60,000 bank account a present from her dadAnd she's pleading povertyI'm facing BankruptyLoosing my jobAnd getting help for a depressive state I can't see any fun in life anymoreEven to the point of moving away from my beautiful children that I adoreBut my life is finished with this going onI have a new beautiful partner but I can't restI have had enough of the Family Law Act section 28 2006It's ruining life's and could end mineI don't know where to turnSolicitors and now an Advocat can't help they both say it's wrong but nothing they can doMy last case is a week on Thursday to where I will be told my punishment for having children There's no help in this country for fathers none
Brobb - 25-Sep-14 @ 1:16 PM
my ex partner left me in February 2014 she keeps sticking to surprised contact even though there's no grounds for this i keep getting accused of false allegations i had to brake contact because of this for 2 months as mediation was conducted mediation was a total joke they just sucked up to her i did not even get a fair say this women is totally dominating and controlling our relationship between me and my daughter then they just said stick to supervised contact as if the 30 minute private conversation never happened she wont even let her down mine but this was fine when we was together and after we split its only when i declined her entry in to the house that the house suddenly became a safety concern why does mediation allow women to say things like his dangerous because my little girl picked up a dvd thats why there's a need for supervised contact i know mediation needs to be none biased and fair but i feel not challenging her on this was biased and unfair seems like to me resident parent has total dominance and controlshe knows this and has admitted it and loved it i am currently unemployed they cut of legal aid what can i do i am getting so desperate i am honesty thinking of a pr stunt
concerned father - 15-Jul-14 @ 4:26 AM
hi i would like to ask a question please? My son is 4 years old, when i picked him up yesterday from school his left eye is BLUE BLACK AND RED!!! the teacher on the other hand has a little giggle while telling me that my son is going to have a blue eye... upon asking what happened 3 TIMES she keepslling me that i should ask my 4 YEAR OLD WHAT HAPPENED? i leave my child in her care yet i still need to ask my 4 year old? anyway never the less, i was not informed, no one called me to tell me anything only at 17:30 - 17:45 do i hear about this, my sons eye is instantly blue and has a long graze under his eye, the inside is a little red and even his eye lid where the eyelashes are is red!!! ME THE PARENT informs the principal/ owner of this she did not even know that it had happened...i need to know what i can do about this? please do you have any advise for me regarding this?i do not want to leave this, and i have been a nursery school teacher for 10 years before breaking away so i know the procedures you are supposed to follow but being a parent now i am not sure... yes i can move him to another school but then what is that going to help i need to to action against this place, my eldest son also complained that the teachers there were hitting him on the head with a hard cover dictionary over his HEAD while doing homework? aLL kids have a kids side and talk and misbehave but is this treatment allowed? thank you very much... Brends
Brends - 10-Jun-14 @ 8:15 AM
Can you please advise where I stand legally,
My ex and I separated January 2014 and have 3 children together, 2,3&5. I've always supported my ex and my children and continue to pay for them now as I rightly should do but my ex is making things very difficult.
I cannot see my children without her supervising even though there's zero grounds on which to base this ie no history or threats or violence etc. I get to see them once every couple of weeks for a few hours at a time even though my eldest daughter has stated numerous times that she wants to spend a full day with me and my son too.
I have also been trying to arrange to have the rest of valuables collected for 3months now and keep being told she will sort out a day. I text to ask how the children are and get no reply or text to ask if I can call to speak to them at a certain time and when I do there's no answer,
She has got it into her head that she controls the shots and that I must do what she wants but all I care about is the effect that this is having on our 3 children.
Where do I stand legally ?
I'm currently looking into mediation to try get some contract setup but some of my belongings are valuable and cost a lot of money to replace which I would rather spend on our children instead of replacing items that I have already bought once.
It is beginning to feel like I'm still in the same controlling relationship I left over and I can't spend quality time with our beautiful children just me and enjoying our selfs because of her demands.
Please can anyone help or is it another case of your just "the dad"
Max - 16-Apr-14 @ 11:28 PM
Hi my son had a lancshiresession against him involving a different child and now the mother off his child won't let him see her even with supervisor visit what re his rights please
Tina - 10-May-13 @ 10:57 AM
I have my daughter every other weekend for the full weekendand this is mutual agreement between me and the mother through solicitors and for the other weekend she makes my daughter go to her nanna and grandads and the reason why I went to solicitors was to have my daughter every weekend butthe mother said no and also have to share my daughter when it comes to holidays not only with the mother which I dont complain about its the fact I have to share with my parents and thats what she came to agree. but its got to the point where I dont want contact with the mother picking and taking her back as am sick and tired of the mother giving me crap and saying it in front of my daughter and pulling me down too so I was woundering is there any chance I can have an appointed person to pick my daughter then I meet them so I dont have to see the mother or would it have to be where the mother drops her off at a contact centre then I make my way to pick her up but I dont think theres a contact centre in rotherham I normally have my daughter from school on friday to sunday afternoon
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