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When Your Ex Gets a New Partner

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 23 Mar 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Ex New Partner Children

It can be hard enough to maintain a good relationship with your children if there's just a limited amount of time you can spend with them. It never feels like enough, and you worry that there might be a distance growing between you.

That feeling can worsen if your ex gets a serious, long-term partner. The natural feeling is that the new man in her life might end up closer to your children than you are.

The Feelings

How do you cope with the emotions and fear – because that's exactly what it is – that your children might end up calling another man dad? A lot depends on the bond you have with your children. If it's strong and secure, you really have no need to worry. In their minds you will always be their father, even if someone else sees a lot more of them than you. Of course, it can be hard to remember and hold on to that, and the only thing that can make you feel better is time.

The problem can be if your relationship with your children is tenuous. The trick is not to feel it's a competition between you and your ex's new man. Remember, he needs to get to know the children and form his own relationship with them, which will take time. Ultimately, however much he's around, there's no way he can replace you. Simply be yourself with the kids and try to improve your own relationship with them.

What You Can Do

It's never an easy situation, and even if you're very secure with your children, you're bound to wonder from time to time, especially if the kids take to their mother's new man (and realistically, you should hope that they do, since it truly makes life easier for everyone).

Don't shy away from asking about things they do with him – although, in most cases, children tend to be garrulous, so they'll probably tell you anyway. Try not to show any jealousy, even if it's inside. Your kids don't need to know that there's a turmoil inside your head and heart. Try not to feel to threatened, since, in all likelihood, there's no reason.

Spend as much time as you can with your kids, and take advantage of all the time you're legally allowed. Do things they enjoy, and make sure you take part!

The Problems

If you don't have a good relationship with your ex, things can be a problem. All you can hope is that she doesn't try to turn the kids against you, and tries to put her new man into your place.

In that case, all you can do is be yourself and be loving with your children. Fighting fire with fire and saying bad things about your ex and her new partner is very counter-productive. It simply confuses the children and leaves them feeling very insecure. Enjoy your time with them and simply be you.

For more information, read Introducing A New Partner To Your Children and When Daddy Got A New Girlfriend on this site.

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[Add a Comment]
DaddyG - Your Question:
I'm looking for advice on my ex's new partner, I have my child full time and the mother wants her one day a week but I recently got told by the mother her boyfriend does drugs but he swears he is trying to get off them , can I stop her partner from being around my child ?

Our Response:
In the first instance, you should discuss your concerns informally with your ex. You have to try to assess whether your ex would try to put your child into danger. You also have to assess what your real concerns are, i.e do you think he will take drugs around your child? Much also depends upon what type of drugs he takes. Obviously there are soft and hard drugs and there is a bit of difference between someone smoking cannabis on the odd occasion to someone regularly taking heroin or crack cocaine. If you cannot resolve the matter between you and your ex informally, then mediation would be the next port of call, please see link here. Court is always seen as the last resort if you cannot resolve the issue via mediation. You would then be looking at the likes of a Specific Issue Order - please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 24-Mar-17 @ 10:39 AM
I'm looking for advice on my ex's new partner, I have my child full time and the mother wants her one day a week but I recently got told by the mother her boyfriend does drugs but he swears he is trying to get off them , can I stop her partner from being around my child ?
DaddyG - 23-Mar-17 @ 5:37 PM
stresseddad - Your Question:
I guess I have to just leave it be and see what happens it's how much my son behaviour has changed that concerns me the most. He is always developing the traits of a child with a Borderline Personality Mum, I have spoke to mind, but when I have reported they say it's life style choices.Thanks for the help, I have also been through other threads and looked up my rights and have requested for his school to keep me informed with his behaviour and absences and done the same with his Dr. Our Response:Here is the definition of harassment, please see link here. Your ex is entitled to her privacy. Therefore, if your ex refuses to tell you her partner's name and you want a background check doing, then you would have to apply to court via a Specific Issue Order, please see link here. There is no guarantee the court will rule in your favour, it will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.

Our Response:
If you have parental responsibility, you have the right to be kept informed of your son's progress and wellbeing, as much as the other parent with PR has.
SeparatedDads - 17-Mar-17 @ 1:42 PM
I guess I have to just leave it be and see what happens it's how much my son behaviour has changed that concerns me the most. He is always developing the traits of a child with a Borderline Personality Mum, I have spoke to mind, but when I have reported they say it's life style choices.Thanks for the help, I have also been through other threads and looked up my rights and have requested for his school to keep me informed with his behaviour and absences and done the same with his Dr. Our Response: Here is the definition of harassment, please see link here. Your ex is entitled to her privacy. Therefore, if your ex refuses to tell you her partner's name and you want a background check doing, then you would have to apply to court via a Specific Issue Order, please see link here. There is no guarantee the court will rule in your favour, it will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.
stresseddad - 17-Mar-17 @ 7:07 AM
stresseddad - Your Question:
Does my ex have to tell me who her new partner is and name? My ex refuses to tell me her new partners name and rings the Police if I ask any questions claiming I am harassing her, she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, she tells my son to keep secrets and is manipulative on the edge emotional abuse but will say it's all me and that I am narcissistic. She just sneaks around and lies a lot, for example my son felt ill a few weeks ago her partner was there and she made my son stay awake until 5 am until he left so my son get into her bed then kept her of school for two days with a cold. Last month there was a incident where she drunk outside my flat on the weekend I had my child and went to see what the disturbance was as I recognise the voice she rang the Police who done a welfare check. All the communication with my son is done through him and he's only 8. I could go on and on with stories but this is a small Outlook. So my question is can I get welfare check to make sure all is well and does she have to declare who her new partner is? Social services Sent me a letter about the times she rang the Police when I rang through to say my piece they said the reports closed and that's it. I don't know where to go, I am also trying to relocate and I want feel my son is being safe guarded.

Our Response:
Here is the definition of harassment, please see link here. Your ex is entitled to her privacy. Therefore, if your ex refuses to tell you her partner's name and you want a background check doing, then you would have to apply to court via a Specific Issue Order, please see link here. There is no guarantee the court will rule in your favour, it will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.
SeparatedDads - 16-Mar-17 @ 2:01 PM
Does my ex have to tell me whoher new partner is and name? My ex refuses to tell me her new partners name and rings the Police if I ask any questions claiming I am harassing her, she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, she tells my son to keep secrets and is manipulative on the edge emotional abuse but will say it's all me and that I am narcissistic. She just sneaks around and lies a lot, for example my son felt ill a few weeks ago her partner was there and she made my son stay awake until 5 am until he left so my son get into her bed then kept her of school for two days with a cold. Last month there was a incident where she drunk outside my flat on the weekend I had my child and went to see what the disturbance was as I recognise the voice she rang the Police who done a welfare check. All the communication with my son is done through him and he's only 8. I could go on and on with stories but this is a small Outlook. So my question is can I get welfare check to make sure all is well and does she have to declare who her new partner is? Social services Sent me a letter about the times she rang the Police when I rang through to say my piece they said the reports closed and that's it. I don't know where to go, I am also trying to relocate and I want feel my son is being safe guarded.
stresseddad - 16-Mar-17 @ 6:03 AM
Please help! I have been with my partner for 10 months, he has a young daughter of whom he was granted an interim child arrangement order and he and his mum have residency order for his little girl. He resides at his mothers address with his daughter but we really want him and his child to move to my place with me and my young daughter. Over the time we have been together, we have all formed family like bonds. The child was removed from her mothers full time care because she was considered at risk of emotional abuse, the social workers are aware that his daughter spends time at my home, so they have visited, checked my property, checked my background and found nothing of concern to stop his child being around me. The social worker, without explanation has put a "ban" on him coming to my house with his child after school, and says he must be home with his child at all times, this means we're only now allowed to see eachother at weekends. The final court hearing is in a couple of weeks and the social worker says she is going to apply for a prohibited steps order to be placed to stop him moving his child in with me (I live 5 mins from his mothers address where he currently resides with his daughter)... The only reason the social worker has given for this is that the child is getting used to living at his parents address, and they don't want her to settled in her now home.. This is obviously understandable but now means that this grown adult male must reside at his mothers house, sharing a bedroom with two of his brothers . Does this not affect his rights to live where he wants to live in the UK... Can social services really stop us from seeing eachother through the week and only give us weekends to be together? Social worker has also advised that his mum put a separate residence application in (even though she's already a joint participant in the current residence order he has) if his mother gets the residence, then he will not be able to move the child from his mothers home ever?! Is that correct! Might I note that I have had all relevant checks relevant to safeguarding the child and there are no concerns. He is not a concern as social care have supported him in getting the residence! Can they do this to us!
Cherry pie - 15-Mar-17 @ 1:04 AM
Parry2k4 - Your Question:
Hi me and ex split up 5 months ago I was told and thrn seen her coming out of his house so I left she was trying to convince me nothing happend and way turns out they have been at it for months when left and I got my own house I used to have kids every other weekend and one day through the week but now it just gone to every other weekend and stopped me from seein my kids if there and rights I can sort so I get to see them more cheers

Our Response:
If you are not happy with the amount of access you have to your kids then in the first instance you would have to suggest mediation to your ex in order to try and resolve the issues that you cannot resolve between you, please see link here.
If your ex refuses to attend mediation, or if mediation fails, then it will be open to you to apply to court. You would have to apply for a child arrangement order, please see link here.
If you cannot afford legal representation you can self-litigate, please see link here.
If you are on a low income, then you may also be able to apply for a reduction in court fees, please see link here. If you have been having your kids regularly and there is no good reason why your ex has stopped this, then it is likely you will be given a court order for the original access to continue. Once a court order is in place both you and your ex will have to stick to it. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 8-Mar-17 @ 12:10 PM
Hi me and ex split up 5 months ago I was told and thrn seen her coming out of his house so I left she was trying to convince me nothing happend and way turns out they have been at it for months when left and I got my own house I used to have kids every other weekend and one day through the week but now it just gone to every other weekend and stopped me from seein my kids if there and rights I can sort so I get to see them more cheers
Parry2k4 - 7-Mar-17 @ 2:40 PM
@Hardtimes- I'm sure your ex (as a responsible mother) would be extra careful when choosing who she shares her house with. Lots of men apply for rooms as when couples separate it's usually the father who moves out of the family home. But there is no saying a female house guest would be no less impressionable than a female house guests on your children. It sounds to me as though there is a bit of alpha-male jealousy in your comment (understandably so I'd react the same). I'm sure what is going through your head is the person who is going to move into your home will be a intelligent, muscle-ripped adonis, whereas the possibility is much likely to be a female. You might have to trust that your ex will make sure she vets the person properly and that there is no way she'd want to put your kids at risk. Ben.
BJ1 - 20-Feb-17 @ 10:07 AM
My wife just served me papers today. We have been married for five years and we have two little girls ages 2 and 1. I'm moving out of our rental (we had been saving to buy a house). She is currently on Facebook trying to find a roommate to help split the rent with which is around is $1500.She posted it and almost immediately has been getting responses from A LOT of males. My question is, do I have the right to say no male roommates? I mean, I have no idea who these men are and I have two very impressionable girls. It makes me really uncomfortable just thinking about another man living with them, even if they are just roommates.
Hardtimes - 19-Feb-17 @ 4:02 AM
Jackson- Your Question:
Hi I was with my ex for over 11 years. he ended our relationship in October 12 days later he met a women in a bar nd he's been with her ever since. we have an 10 year old who we have joint custody of. within a week she was introduced to my son nd stopping over at my ex nd has been there every weekend since. even moved in for a few weeks over Christmas. there relationship is 13 weeks in now and they are taking my son on a short 3 night holiday. my son is not coping very well at all he cries at least once a week saying he is jealous of my ex new girlfriend. they hold hands kiss nd cuddle in front of him. he gets sent to his room so they can av adult time together nd told not to come into their room cos they are tired.it's not only difficult for me that he has moved on so quickly but also upsetting that it's effecting my son.I tried to explain this to the ex but he just says our son will av to get used to it. my son says it's all happening to quick he feels he's lost his dad to the new girlfriend. how do I stay calm nd together for myself nd my son when what the ex is doing is wrong. may I just ad these people are actually nearly 50 nd sud know better. it's making me stressed to hell. :-( thanks

Our Response:
It is difficult to try to control what your ex is doing with the person he now lives with. As your ex has joint residency and you both have parental responsibility you can only hope he understands that it may affect your son and will always try to act in your son's best interests. However, if you cannot resolve your differences between you, and your son cannot also make his feelings known to your ex, I can only advise that you suggest mediation in order to try to resolve the issue.
SeparatedDads - 16-Feb-17 @ 1:57 PM
Hi I was with my ex for over 11 years.. he ended our relationship in October 12 days later he met a women in a bar nd he's been with her ever since.. we have an 10 year old who we have joint custody of.. within a week she was introduced to my son nd stopping over at my ex nd has been there every weekend since.. even moved in for a few weeks over Christmas.. there relationship is 13 weeks in now and they are taking my son on a short 3 night holiday.. my son is not coping very well at all he cries at least once a week saying he is jealous of my ex new girlfriend.. they hold hands kiss nd cuddle in front of him.. he gets sent to his room so they can av adult time together nd told not to come into their room cos they are tired..it's not only difficult for me that he has moved on so quickly but also upsetting that it's effecting my son.. I tried to explain this to the ex but he just says our son will av to get used to it.. my son says it's all happening to quick he feels he's lost his dad to the new girlfriend.. how do I stay calm nd together for myself nd my son when what the ex is doing is wrong.. may I just ad these people are actually nearly 50 nd sud know better.. it's making me stressed to hell.. :-( thanks
Jackson - 16-Feb-17 @ 9:35 AM
Leecal88- Your Question:
Hello, I'm looking for some advice. Me and my partner split 6month ago and we have a 13month old daughter together. Things were fine between us and getting along just great, until she got a new boyfriend. I had looked him up on social media and found out that he takes drugs. From my knowledge she hasn't introduced him to our daughter, but when I expressed my concerns over the fact I didn't want him around or being involved with our daughter if he's taking drugs, it caused an argument and I was stopped seeing her for 3 weeks. We have now resolved that and I now get to see my daughter, but I do still have these concerns as you would imagine. And also when I'm talking to my ex partner when she's alone we reminisce about the past in a nice happy way, but when I had mentioned something innocent when she was in his company he had got involved and told me to shut up etc. I don't want any arguments between me and the mother as from recent experience I know she will stop me from seeing my daughter if I try to express my concerns. What can I do in this situation?

Our Response:
I think the main question to ask yourself here is; do you think your ex would put your daughter in a dangerous situation? Of course, you have to voice your concerns, but remember you are working together for the sake of your child - please see link here . Any accusations are obviously going to be inflammatory, therefore it may be best to try to find a mutual way around this whilst (as difficult as it may be ) also trying to take on board and respect her choice of boyfriend, even if he is not to your taste. The big issue here is the extent of the drug taking and whether he is taking Class A drugs to the likes of smoking cannabis from time to time (there is obviously a big difference). If you develop a good supportive relationship with your ex, then you are in the perfect position to step in and try to mutually negotiate further if the situation becomes more problematic. Trying to judge her new partner objectively and not personally will also help.
SeparatedDads - 30-Jan-17 @ 2:18 PM
Casper - Your Question:
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.

Our Response:
I think in this situation you would need to seek legal advice and make sure you do nothing that could result in you being charged with harrassment or stalking (which could affect your case). It is worth seeking professional guidance in the first place and after this if you cannot afford legal representation you can self litigate, please see link here. Mediation should also be considered before you approach the matter of taking it to court, (as court is seen as a last resort) please see link here . I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 30-Jan-17 @ 10:56 AM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 29-Jan-17 @ 1:40 PM
Hello, I'm looking for some advice. Me and my partner split 6month ago and we have a 13month old daughter together. Things were fine between us and getting along just great, until she got a new boyfriend. I had looked him up on social media and found out that he takes drugs. From my knowledge she hasn't introduced him to our daughter, but when I expressed my concerns over the fact I didn't want him around or being involved with our daughter if he's taking drugs, it caused an argument and I was stopped seeing her for 3 weeks. We have now resolved that and I now get to see my daughter, but I do still have these concerns as you would imagine. And also when I'm talking to my ex partner when she's alone we reminisce about the past in a nice happy way, but when I had mentioned something innocent when she was in his company he had got involved and told me to shut up etc. I don't want any arguments between me and the mother as from recent experience I know she will stop me from seeing my daughter if I try to express my concerns. What can I do in this situation?
Leecal88 - 28-Jan-17 @ 9:44 PM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 28-Jan-17 @ 4:59 PM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 28-Jan-17 @ 12:31 PM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 28-Jan-17 @ 10:31 AM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 27-Jan-17 @ 7:33 PM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 27-Jan-17 @ 3:48 PM
Hi there I'm Leaving in uk When I meet with my partner she's a escort start few months ago but she said she wants to stop and have with me long term relationship and get married in that time I was split up from my ex wife and have 2 kids had good 3 weeks talk and she told me she will except my 2 kids and we both said let's do it, and been together 4.5 years relationship and had our son 3 years ago, few weeks ago she wants to talk and said we are both not happy in 12 months had 3 times augmented to different things jobs stress,finance, looking after our son, etc and said to me she doesn't want me to in her life saying she wants to be good friend because of our son, what ever I said there is no return, so upset and heartbroken,I got sick note 1month and I said I'm going away for a month to stay with my own family because if I stay around her might cause troubles need to space and calm times,when she's at work I saw some of naked pictures and escort agency applications form, saying I'm ready to start immediately on her computer and some of few messages to one men. Make me feel sick, didn't said anything that night she ask me when you are moving out because it's getting hard for both of us and I said I'll book my flight tonight for tomorrow night she said ok. She still trying to put alot of things on my mind before leaving saying I'm going to do this I'm going to change this and that and etc. So it has been 6 days since I left and ones video call for show my son and it's only 2 minutes. Now I'm worried about my son if she's gone back to past doing escort and carrying to work for extra money. Don't want to leave my son in that situation. Witch place do I need to go plus if I put court order for all this I don't want to be in bad situations, I got all that proof to show pictures and letter. If she turns up saying he harassed me and treated me or stalking me, I might get arrested. Need help asap.
Casper - 26-Jan-17 @ 11:12 PM
Kjf78 - Your Question:
Hi just asking if you can offer me any advice, my ex wife has now said she is seriously thinking about moving in with her new partner he has 3 children and I have 3 children this means they will have to look for a bigger house so they can all live under the same roof, so my query is do I have any legal say so for my 3 children to move? It's not like they are moving abroad but my 2 eldest who are 15 and 11 does not want to do this I also have a 6 year old daughter and any advice you can give will be much appreciated

Our Response:
Yes, as your elder children are 15 and 11, they will have a say (should the matter go to court). If you think your children should stay with you, and your ex does not wish to try and resolve the matter via mediation, please see link here, then you should really seek legal advice in order to explore your options over taking the matter to court. First and foremost, the court will always decide upon what is in the best interests of your children, but will also take their preferences into account.
SeparatedDads - 24-Jan-17 @ 1:57 PM
Hi just asking if you can offer me any advice, my ex wife has now said she isseriously thinking about moving in with her new partner he has 3 children and I have 3children this means they will have to look for a bigger house so they can all live under the same roof, so my query is do I have anylegal say so for my 3 children to move? It's not like they are moving abroad but my 2eldest who are 15 and 11 does not want to do this I also have a 6 year olddaughter and any advice you can give will be muchappreciated
Kjf78 - 23-Jan-17 @ 9:17 PM
G-man - Your Question:
Can I stop my ex wife's boyfriend babysitting my children when she wants to go out. They don't live together but I don't want him being left alone with my kids

Our Response:
Unless you can agree this between you and your ex, you only alternative is to apply for a Specific Issue order through the courts here.
SeparatedDads - 23-Jan-17 @ 3:00 PM
Can I stop my ex wife's boyfriend babysitting my children when she wants to go out. They don't live together but I don't want him being left alone with my kids
G-man - 21-Jan-17 @ 5:43 PM
Chris - Your Question:
Hi, My ex has a new partner/carer not sure which or both. My mum who has regular Skype calls with my daughter to keep in touch, told me how my daughter had accidentally weed herself. My ex's partner or carer then took my daughter to change her. I find this very inappropriate to have someone who is not family changing our 4 year old daughter.Any information on the legality of this would be good.Cheers.

Our Response:
There are no legal rules regarding this matter. A parent with parental responsibility over their child can make day-to-day practical decisions about what is in their children's best interests.
SeparatedDads - 11-Jan-17 @ 11:37 AM
Hi, My ex has a new partner/carer not sure which or both. My mum who has regular Skype calls with my daughter to keep in touch, told me how my daughter had accidentally weed herself. My ex's partner or carer then took my daughter to change her. I find this very inappropriate to have someone who is not family changing our 4 year old daughter. Any information on the legality of this would be good. Cheers.
Chris - 10-Jan-17 @ 11:01 PM
I have just received the following message by whatssapp from my ex wife "You should know that *** and I are buying a house together. Both of our houses are sold subject to contract and we're hoping to be in the new place by April. The girls have been involved in the viewings and are happy" Should I have been informed of these plans before this went ahead being I know next to nothing about her boyfriend and also she does not have custody she was named as residential parent as they live with her. Stressed out beyond belief and majorly devastated.
Lost2017 - 10-Jan-17 @ 10:35 PM
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