Housing for Separated Fathers

Housing for Separated Fathers

With separation, housing becomes an urgent and thorny issue. You might well own your current house with your partner, but what happens to that when you split up, and especially the money you have tied up in it? Even if you’re renting, there are issues that need to be faced. As for where you go, what’s the best path to take, renting or buying another property?

Your Current House

If you’ve been renting the house in your name and you’re moving out, both you and your ex should be aware that there’s no automatic transfer of lease to her. You’ll need to talk to the landlord and make new arrangements. You’ll also want your deposit back, since the amount will be very useful when renting a new place.

If you own the home, the two of you will need to make arrangements for your property. If it’s owned jointly, as most are, you have two choices. If one of you intends to remain in the house, that person will have to buy out the other. You can also decide to sell the house and split the money. If your partner is buying you out, make sure the arrangements aren’t just private, but registered through the building society, so you’re formally released from the mortgage. If not, then legally the property will still be classed as partly yours, and if your ex defaults on the mortgage, it can adversely ruin your credit rating.

To Buy or Rent?

When you leave, you can either buy a new house or rent. Rental has many attractions in the short term, as you decide what you want to do and where you want to live. Be aware that most rentals are on renewable short-term six month leases. You’ll initially pay the first month’s rent plus a deposit (usually equal to a month’s rent) which can be refunded when you leave, as long as the property is in good condition.

Child Maintenance Calculator

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You might consider renting with a friend, but make sure both your names are on the lease, otherwise, if the other person is named as the renter and moves out, you might find yourself homeless.

If you decide to buy, you’ll almost certainly have to downsize, since you’ll be relying on just your income rather than that of a couple. But with most homebuyers needing at least a 20% deposit, this may not be an option for you unless you have a large lump sum.

Before you look at any property, make a checklist of what you need. Apart from the basics, each of your children should have their own bedroom (budget and the number of children might not make this possible), and there should be a garden where your kids can play. (See our article What You Need in the House for Your Child on this site.) If you buy, even if it’s just a small property, it puts you back on the property ladder, and if you can make a good down payment, your monthly mortgage might be less than rent.

Choosing your Location

The other question is where you should live. There are distinct advantages in staying close to your former home, since it makes contact with your children much easier. However, some separated fathers prefer to move away. This can be due to a job, the desire to make a clean break, or cheaper housing prices in another part of the country. There are pluses and minuses to both that you need to weight for yourself.

When You Move

Regardless of where you move, when you do switch addresses there are some things you need to do. Before you transport everything to your new place, go through items – do you need or even want them? Moving is always a good opportunity for a clearout.

You’ll also need to inform people about your change of address. That’s not only friends but organisations such as banks, building societies, the Inland Revenue, credit card companies, DVLA, insurance companies and your GP etc. This will ensure that important items of mail follow you to your new home.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Child Maintenance Calculator lets you find out how much child maintenance you should pay or receive. Takes less than a minute. Try it now →

Ask a Question or Comment
RFB 16 Mar 2023
Hoping someone has got some advice, I’m at my wits end. I have 2 children with my ex. My ex kicked me out the family home 9 months ago and since then I have been sleeping on my mothers sofa. We own our house, I own the higher percentage. I have been paying the mortgage since I left. My ex is refusing mediation and wants me to take her to court to sort the house out. She refuses to work and believes I should pay for the house until she can ‘find someone else to take over the mortgage’! 1 - she has never contributed to the bills or mortgage in all our time together as she still doesn’t work. 2 - it was my money that bought the house. I’m sleeping on a sofa while she lives in a £400k house that I pay for!! I would never see my children homeless and would give her a bigger % of the sale money for her to buy another property. every time I pick the kids up for my weekends she shouts about daddy taking the house away from them and making them live in a flat with no garden. It’s traumatising the children and killing me to see them so upset. I work 16 hour days to keep a roof over everyone’s head at the moment and can’t see a way out. Our mortgage is up for renewal at the end of the year and with the interest rates as they are I cannot afford to pay for their house and support myself. She’s also changed the locks to my house. The solicitors are also no help. Just demanding more money for not a lot of output. Please, someone give me some advice. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t know what to do.
PsyfromFrance 31 Jul 2022
I am sorry to say that but the UK doesn't care about kids In this situation because if you don't provide a place for a father to receive their kids, the father will have to share a place with a stranger. Mentally kids are affected by the separation but living with strangers will also affect the kids. Also, poor dads as most of them leave the house to help the kids and the mums but put themselves in a critical situation. They start from the beginning and have no support from housing and council. It's really sad to see this in Uk.
Sam 22 Apr 2022
Stop posting (seriously ),I will not react to your nonsense,( I never want to be with you or ever see you again in my lifetime )for the record I honestly dont care if you change your daughters name seriously. I will not be( manipulated or mistreated bye you ever again) .in all honesty I dont want see your daughter not now or ever .(I hated my life when I was with you thats gods truth) .I'm no kid anymore you and daughter sever no purpose in my life what so ever (I dont even class myself as her father) .so stop wasting your time with these( silly blogs get a grip off your life) .you want a men go back to Gordon seriously( I personally don't know what he saw in you) .you want truth im ashamed off myself for ever been with you and I'm ashamed off your daughter aswell get this though your think head I have zero feelings towards your daughter ( so don't even bother trying to manipulate me because you will fall short because in reality I dont care ).my advice get on with your lifes you both want to change your daughters name do it you have my blessing .you can say whatever you want about me I dont care in fact I find it funny .one thing I worked out you never had a clue who I really was as a person I see you trying to fill in the blanks ha ha ha your a (dead set loser) and im so happy I never have to see or associate with you ever again and that makes me happy inside .you should worry about your own life not mine .so stop posting and go change your daughters name and be a happy family.
Tom 22 Apr 2022
Same boat as everyone else here. 31 live with my parents due to unaffordable rent prices. I have a 3 year old daughter. I've tried the council but they don't want to know. Even when I was living in the car or sofa surfing they just didn't care. Its because I have a full time job but live pay day to pay day. It's ruining my life. Sometimes I think about just ending it then I see my daughters face
Rando 26 Apr 2021
I am separated from my partner but have 50/50 custody of the 2 children, can I apply for social housing ?
Kezz 17 Mar 2021
Hi Scott I'm Kerry and I may be a woman but I do believe that the housing and benefits system is very much focused on the mothers I find it very disappointing in this day and age I might be able to forward some information on to you with some companies that might be able to help I've only just stumbled across this page because I'm looking as my son is in same situation and has a little boy who he shares half of the week with his ex and she's housed and he's not but then they can stop him seeing his child if he doesn't get a roof over his head surly that would make there situation the same it wrong and I am female and I find it very disappointing that mother's out there do not reach out and say ok you want to see your children I'll go and stay tonight at a friend's house my boyfriend has two children that he sees as often as possible and I wouldn't dream of ever stopping that I love them like they're mine and I know that I would feel differently about him if he had not bothered with his children that wouldnd be the character of man I would want to be with so I do believe that women out there do need to give people a bit of a break especially to there children dad it's no different from the way they see there own dad,! my experience its maintenance look after your kid at the weekends which you have to pay for yourself when your looking after them when you have them to feed them but also pay the mum when she's gone in my world that don't work the way I see it whoever has that child at that point if one's got the stuff they need they give it to them if the other one's got the stuff they need they give it to them because at the end of the day is your children isn't it I don't mean that directed at you as in like you're not doing what they're supposed to be I just feel like you're in a really unfair situation because what if she just decided she wants any house mates CBR check or they can't be around the kids you can't win anyway if you would like to chat, have a look at different ideas I would like to trying to help.as I'm unable to work I try and help in any way I can. you can find me on Facebook Kerry whybrow if you want to bat ideas about or you just want to have a rant sometimes we all need a little support hope to hear from you soon take care
Scott 9 Mar 2021
I am a father of 3 separated from my wife for 2 years now. I am currently renting a bedroom in a two bedroom house with live in landlord. I have shared custody of my children but can only have them to stay overnight when my landlord is working away which is not very often now as he is in a new relationship and wants her to move in meaning that I have to move on. The local council won’t help me as I work full time although I’m on low income and can’t afford the rental prices where I live. I’m looking for some advice as to where I can get some help with housing. I’m desperate to have my children stay with me
Neddy 6 Feb 2021
My ex wife left me to live with someone else two years ago and claim child tax credits and works,also council helps pay for her rent. She also lives with new partner and he works on and off for agency work but when not working claims separately. but when i asked for help with child tax credits from HMRC they said if my ex wife does not want to let me have any they can't force her even though I have my children with me four to five days a week. On top of that because I work on and off for agency work and then live on universal credit I have fallen behind on my mortgage the mortgage company are now threatening to take my home from me but can't seem to get help from anyone council can't help tax credits can't help and soon I could be homeless because my ex is down as sole custody of the children trying to explain to authorities that they stay with me more they told me that did not matter to them and it's upto me to sort it out myself. For men like me and millions of other men like me the Goverment and councils just don't care. Just would like to know if anyone out there could give me some advice please as the Goverment and other authorities just don't care unless your a woman or druggie or alcoholic.
Gaz 7 Jan 2021
I am a farther of 4 I live at my mothers house and there is no room to have them over to stay , I’ve tried to rent but got refused because of a cc’j from years ago, not only that were I live the cheapest house to rent with room for my kids is too much money
Mitch 5 Jan 2021
Hi all I am a single father who has my 9 year old son Tuesday's Thursdays for evening and every other weekend for overnight stays. Since I split from the ex I have lived at my parents on the sofa. This is very difficult when son comes over to stay. Can I ask would I get help with a place of my own as work full time hours a week and Still can't see how I can afford to rent a place with rates these days. The ex is loving life in a 3 bed house and I'm Struggling to find a good night's kip each night. Really beginning to take its toll on me. Any help or advice would be muchly appreciated ??
Ash 11 Dec 2020
Hi, been in an unhappy relationship for some time now and I have a 3 year old and a 4 month old. I’ve tried so hard to stick it out for the benefit of the kids but I just don’t think it’s fair on the kids anymore to see their mum and dad arguing, I work full time but if I leave the home I will have nowhere to go. I’d ideally like to get another place so I can have the kids my fair share of the week but can’t seem to find any information about if I’d be eligible for help via the council?
Redbullalldaylong 10 Dec 2020
I am with my partner just for the kids and it’s now getting too much I have a son 3 years old and a baby step son 8 years , I need to move out I will have the kids more than 3 nights a week living in Scotland , I’ve always been privet rent would the council house me ??
shirt 3 Dec 2020
Hi there , I've just be asked to move out of the family home but both me and my ex are on the mortgage, she will continue to pay it but does having my name on it cause any issues
S1 15 Nov 2020
Hi I am self employed and I have my son 3to4 nights a week and rent with a private landlord is it possible to get help with rent and council tax
Bart 27 Oct 2020
Hi, I'm a father of 4 children aged 18-8.my current situation is that my ex partner cannot afford to buy me out. But I'm now with a new partner who id like to get a mortgage with.only problem is I am still on the old mortgage. And cannot get another due to our credit rating any advice would be great. Dave
Luke 23 Aug 2020
Hi, I’ve split up with my parter last October, we have 11 years old daughter together. As a PhD student and part-time employee I’m renting 2 rooms (one for myself and one for my daughter when she coming over for a weekends) in a shared house (3 friends leaving with me). I’ve tenancy until June 2021, and I’ll be able to look for the place on my own after that date. Yet, my ex after sever bad decisions, lack in communication and neglect, make me worry about wellbeing of our child. Is it possible to have full custody for a child when leaving in shared house? Thanks, Luke
Lee 21 Aug 2020
Hi all I'm a single dad and I have a 9 year old son who I get to have 3 to 4 days a week.one whole day and 2 to 3 overnight only...I live in a studio flat which is nice but not much room did house share before for 5 years but my son could not get on well with the person I was living with things just are getting worse with this living situation.i just want to know what my chances are of getting a place with the council for a single dad
Jase 12 Aug 2020
I have been married 17 years. We split 3 years ago and I have been awarded sole custody of the 2 boys aged 17 and 13. The mother is not allowed to see them due to her behaviour as stated by the court. I am going through financials in divorce and her solicitor is asking for a 50 / 50 split if equity even though she has not paid a penny to the mortgage since she left. She has not brought any birthday or Xmas presents and is paying £29 month maintenance. She is a self employed barber and has been under declaring for 17 years and I have informed HMRC and given them paperwork. I need help as I don’t believe she should have a 50% share if the house.
Christopher 2 Aug 2020
@den.are you working ?.if you are just keep couch surfing for a bit save your money up get a flat or house .tell your ex your situation and say I be more then happy to have the child though the day on weekends why I save up for my own place .spending the days at the park with your daughter will motivate you to save more money so you and your daughter have your own place and own yard to play in .
Den 2 Aug 2020
Hi, I’ve recently split with my gf who I’ve been living with for 5 years we have a 2 year old and is demanding I have her overnight ever other weekend problem is that I am sofa surfing and have no where for her to stay. Anyone have any options or advice? Thanks
Friendo 25 Jul 2020
I need urgent advice,I'm in an unhappy marriage,I have 6 kids and need to get out and start again for their sake.the arguments are very frequent.and usually contain commands to get out.i need to leave,but need some sort of accommodation.thankyou for any help.
Di 12 Jul 2020
My son lives council flat 2 bed with both his children mother vwalked out 2 years ago since keeps just coming walks back in says can stay coz her name on tenancy what l need to now is my son claims himself 2 kids rent which he doesn't get it all coz she still on tenancy we as family help him out rest of rent can plz some one tell me as a man with 2 kids on his own why can or is she able to just walk in when feels like it if he was a woman think he have more on his side she was man people was damn him for just walking in wen ever feels like walks out party or mate needs her not that kids need her no my son thinks she take the flat and kids too coz she's a woman anyone now true rules single dad full time single dad 2 and 4 year old thank you
Anon 29 Jun 2020
Split with my girlfriend & my ex is now saying I cant have my kids as now got no where to have them. (We were having them every other wkend) Will I get help with a flat or something as one of my kids wants to live with me
Liam 19 Jun 2020
Single male living in my Vauxhall Corsa. Have my daughter 3 times a week and stay in hotel when able to to spend time with my daughter. Wanting any available accomodation in eccington or surrounding area close to my daughter who lives at killamarah. I'm finding it hard and depressing and would be so appreciative of any little help what so ever please.
Lou 15 May 2020
I’m asking on behalf of my boyfriend who has an 8 year old son. My boyfriend lives in a house share where he has lived for almost 9 months & he sees his son every weekend. At first the sons mother said she didn’t want their son staying in the house share, as there was strangers there, which at first I understood to some extent. So my boyfriend was having his son at the house during the day & then taking him to his mothers at night, then picking him up again the next day. This is really sad for both my boyfriend and his son as of course he wants to stay with his dad at night. So I wondered what people’s thoughts were? Should his son be allowed to stay with him or not?
Steve 1 May 2020
Hi everyone. I’ve recently become a single Dad and I have 4 children 3 boys and a baby girl. I was renting with my girlfriend and I was lucky enough that the landlord took me off the tenancy. I can’t possibly afford a 3 bed house minimum to privately rent on my own and I applied online with my local council and they have said I’m no eligible. I’m currently back living with my parents and I can’t accommodate my children to stay there as there is no room. Has anyone got any advice for me please.
Benjamin 18 Apr 2020
Hi, is there any network in place for single dads that are co-parenting? I have separated from my partner whom I share custody of a 2yo. I've managed to find my own place, but as a student, I simply cannot afford it. I've contacted several local estate agents and they have all told me that I can't live in a house share if I was to have my child stay with me. Not seeing her or doing my part is not an option, but I cannot continue to live in the housing situation that I am in now. I am eligible for universal credit, but it's not enough to live on so I have to work, and because I work, they take 63p off me for every £1 that I earn, so in the end, I get nothing from them. I can't physically work more because I am at college or have my daughter. Any suggestions to help me move forward would be much appreciated.
Bennyboy 11 Mar 2020
I'm also currently unemployed and trying to find something from Monday to Wednesday as I have my daughter for the rest of the week . I've been told that there are procedures to be followed via citizens advice in order to get help with housing from the council z
Bennyboy 11 Mar 2020
Hi I've recently split with my gf who I stayed with and we have a 3 year old daughter . Since moving from hers I'm on the sofa at my parents as there is no room I also have my little girl every week from Thursday to Sunday . Will the council help home me as I need some where safe to have my daughter ?
Matt 8 Mar 2020
Hi there I have recently separated from my wife and I need to have my son 2 nights aweek. I currently rent a room but am not allowed to bring my son as is the case in most rented bedrooms. I just cant afford a flat by myself.just wanted to know what other options there are or if any one had some good advise.
Billy ray 12 Jan 2020
@jean.i have solution for you move in to my hostel your child will feel very welcome .and you my friend will have a blast the things that go on in hostels are (absolutely awesome) you will say to yourself men I am Never leaving you will say to yourself I have finally found my home .(problem solved).
Billy ray 12 Jan 2020
@jean.i live in a hostel with my daughter we love it .we share a room with 8 others it’s fantastic it’s really good for my daughter she meets people from all over the world she is coming very cultured.her mother moved to America to live a “slab city“.she has mental health issues she will be with her kind at slab city .
Jean 11 Jan 2020
In the case of separation my ex partner me and my kid. If my ex wants me to leave the council flat. 2 Senarios 1: I leave with my kid can the mum be rehomed or will she be able to keep the council flat? Can I apply for a council flat? 2 I leave without my kid to one place where I can't welcome my kid because it is too small and others live there. I call Council, But I am not considered as homeless, what can I do... my kid sad, I am depressed any solution?
C.laurie 3 Nov 2019
@scott.i live with my brothers I have for (years) and enjoy it and I don’t want to move out (gods truth ).people think I am (disabled) because off the way I live everyone has a right to a (opinion )if I am (disabled it’s not my fault)and I will always be in financially stuck I have a grade 8 education well I only did three terms off grade 8 but I did graduate from primary school .and I do have teenage daughter she doesn’t want anything to do with me .but I am social media maybe one day she will get (curious )and want to meet me who knows it’s been over 10 years off no contact so maybe she will or maybe she won’t it depends how (brainwashed )she is about me .So for me I will keep living with my brothers .
Scott 3 Nov 2019
Hi guys, I’ve been back at my parents for a year now after split with my ex.. trying to get back on my feet, financially stuck.. desperate to move out but private rent is impossible.. will I get any joy going to the council with my parents kicking me out? I’ve got a 5yr old son Appreciate any advice!!
Dobbo 5 Oct 2019
My ex partner use to have children twice a week at his moms. The council have now housed him in shared accommodation and it doesn’t look safe for my children. Should he not of been given a studio or something where the children are safe to stay???
Strudy 16 Sep 2019
I've recently split with my partner of 7 years. We have two children 4 and 1. We get on fine and can talk and communicate well. I'm currently living with family but pay the mortgage on the house for my ex and kids. I help pay child care also so my ex can work. She pays the bills for the property. Is there any help she can get and I can get so I may be able to have a place of my own for my kids to stay. We want me to have them at least 3 days a week. Any advice would great on where to look. I live in Cornwall
Kie 14 Sep 2019
Hi, I've had full custody of my 6 year old daughter nearly 3 years now. Me and my current partner arent getting on i need to find somewhere to live for me and my daughter as her biological mother is in prison I'm not getting jack s**t from her. I work full time 5 days a week, income ranges around 1400 a month, I cant afford deposit and 1 month upfront rent. Being a full time dad and working full time what am I suppose to do?
Jack-army 2 Sep 2019
Me and my partner of 13 years have split. We are not married, have two children and were renting. At the moment I'm sofa surfing due to the fact I have no savings for a bond or months rent in advance. I've got a full time job but this sofa surfing is really taking its toll as I have nowhere to have my kids over night. Is there any help out there??
Mike B 8 Aug 2019
I've been unhappy in my relationship for years now. I have a step daughter (I'm not married) and I have a son. But I'm leaving my partner because it used to be best for my family, my children for me to put up with being unhappy, for the sake of my kids. But we are arguing so much in front of them that it isnt best anymore and I need to leave. I want to leave her but not them. And I'm still paying the mortgage and all the Bill's which takes 90% of my wages, the other 10% is basically getting by. I cant afford to go anywhere but I have to try and start again. I've searched and searched and I cant seem to find any advise for people who need to leave the family home but still ay for it. And start from scratch too. I cant take my kids home from them just because I cant put up with my partner anymore. Shes a good mother, just an awful partner. Is there any advice? Honestly right now, I'm thinking of investing in a campervan and parking it on my drive (it's a long drive), so that when I'm there I can be with my kids as much as they need and go when I dont need to be there.
Sunil 29 Jul 2019
Me and my partner have recently split. We have a 2 year old son, we have joint 50 50 custody. Ive moved out of the house shared as a family as this is owned by my sons mother. I was wondering if there is any help I can receive with rent. I work full time in the nhs, but on about 1300 after tax. A 2 bedroom flat where I live is about 750 to 850 a month. We also split my sons nursery so 1 day a week which is about 64 a week so that myself and ex can work. I'm currently staying with parents, but moving out on my own with my son would only leave me with less than 60 a week to pay for food and clothes for me and my son. I've searched everywhere for advice. Can anyone here offer anything please
FallyGally 22 Jul 2019
Sorry, just to clarify - I've made a typo on the previous message... The 3 children share a bedroom, they all have individual beds!!
FallyGally 22 Jul 2019
Hi, Cannot seem to find the answer to this anywhere, so wondering if you could maybe assist. My partner and I have 2 sons (just turned 3 and about to turn 2) and a stepdaughter about to turn 8. The general rule is that she is supposed to stay with us 2 nights per month (every second Saturday) however this is often restricted by her mother for various (I won't say ridiculous, but yeah) reasons. She is now talking about her being unable to stay overnight going forward as our home is overcrowded with 3 children in one bed. Are there actually any actual rules on this? She does have a BED in the room with them, but the 3 of them share. (They seem to like it and it's only 2 nights per month? Are there official rules / guidance?)
Mark 16 Jul 2019
Hi I've split from my partner 4 years ago and now living with my dad in a one bed flat my kids who are 12 boy and 11 girl come to stay with me every other weekend this is proving difficult now because of space. Is there any help out there with housing as i don't have the money to buy or pay the escalated rent in london any advice would be great.
MR D BRANNON 8 Jun 2019
Evening, unfortunately me are in talks of sepration, but we have 2 children together and a son from her previous relationship, would Southend council help me get a council or social housing place to still be able to have my kids etc my wife is willing to have 50/50 custody, and I would like to have them equal amounts, any advice would be greatly appreciated, Thanks Dean.
Tomo 24 May 2019
I left my ex with everything when we divorced and didnt take a penny, since day one I have always given her maintenance money to support our daughter even though she doesnt live in the home I transferred over into her name, she and my daughter live with her mother 500 yards down the road and the house sits empty. I have now found out she is going to rent the house out and continue living at her mothers with our daughter. So for me as the maintenance money goes towards, Bill's mortgage etc and I have my daughter 3 nights a week am I within my rights to stop paying her maintenance as the previous family home will be rented out so she is not providing a roof for our daughter, all Bill's are covered by her mum at her house? Like I say I have my daughter 3 nights a week and supply for her while she is with me, my ex is at her mums paying for nothing.
Scoobie 22 Apr 2019
I am separated nearly a year I am self employed 3 day a week and make just enough to keep a roof over me and my sons head the ex had an affair this was the end shes now had a child and is claiming its mine I hadn't got £239 for a CSA DNA test at the minute so there saying ots mine end off how can this be legal I also take my son James Sunday morning to Tuesday night and I'm now being asked to take him from 1200 until 1900 Thursday and the same Saturday will this effect my payments...thanks
Woody 15 Apr 2019
Hello. I'm looking for some advice, our marriage has now run its coarse and is over. We have three boys two early teen and one four year old. We own are home jointly and have equity in the home.. We have not discussed the financial aspects as yet. In an ideal world we would divide the equity and I could set up on my own with the boys visiting very regularly. I could not afford to pay the mortgage to the family home and live at all well if the wife digs her heals in and decides to stay in the home. The wife has no income other than child tax credits. Thanks in advance for any advice
James 31 Oct 2018
Hi, I left my now ex-wife 4 and a half years ago and have been living with my parents since. I have two children, my daughter - 15 and son - 12. Since January this year my daughter has been living with me. She left her mother's home due to ongoing psychological abuse and no longer has any communication with her. I am on a low income which would not cover the cost of renting. The need to move out of my parents' house is very pressing as my daughter sleeps in the back end of the living room and my mother has a chronic lung condition which requires that she rests as much as possible. Obviously with four people in one relatively small house this has become strained. I would greatly appreciate any advice with regards to being eligible for rent being topped up. Is this common practice under similar circumstances in the UK? Many thanks for any information. J
John 16 Oct 2018
I live with my wife and 4 children in a housing assocaition flat want to seprate now , i have sever depression unable to work for many years and on sick notes , was in support group and esa benefit for many years, i dont know where to go as we can not live together , please advice , will the housing option rehouse me?
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Sep 2018
I am sorry to hear this. You can apply to the council, although if you are not the primary carer of your children you will not be allocated extra bedrooms for them. Your only option is to rent privately if you want extra rooms for your children to stay with you.
Matt 5 Sep 2018
Morning, me and my wife of 10yrs have recently decided to part ways. We have three boys together 8, 6 and 5. My wife also has a son from a previous relationship he is 12. We are living in council accommodation, we will have 50/50 share of custody with the boys. Everything is moving so fast. Not really sure what needs doing. The housing situation is very stressful as I am the sole earner in the household so a lot of the burden falls on my shoulders. I don't see how I can support two houses. My priority is supporting my children, but I do not think I can afford to find my own place. Would the council help with accommodation? I need somewhere that I can look after my children, and have them stay over etc. Any help would be much appreciated.
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Sep 2018
If you have a child between you and a) your ex is the primary carer of your child, b) she chooses to remain in the house and c) cannot afford to buy you out, then it could be tricky to have your name removed from the mortgage. First and foremost your agreement is with the mortgage lender. You may wish to seek legal advice.
Newly single dad 4 Sep 2018
Hello. I'm currently going through a divorce. I'm hoping i can buy my ex wife out of the home. I'm confident that i will be able to raise the extra funds by remortgaging the home or lending additional money from my current lender. However, although currently she seems keen on moving out of the matrimonial home. And renting instead, i know that no lenders will give her a mortgage due to her earnings. however if she changes her mind and do want to stay in our home is there anyway in which she could legally force me to remain on the mortgage? A little facts about us married April 2017. I filled for divorce april 2018(would have done this sooner if i could.) Brought the home in 2014 and our only child was born 2015. Thanks
GraHam Editor 27 Jul 2018
@Dave - have you got kids? As why would she get so much - unless she put more into the marriage? If you have kids, you've no chance mate. The courts aren't going to deprive her of money where there are kids involved.
Dave 24 Jul 2018
Hi I got divorced last year and my ex was awarded 82.5% of the assets (£153k cash & £40k lump sum pension) which criplpled me financially & left me with £23k after paying solicitors fees. A couple of months after the divorce she moved in to a 3 bed town house which was £60k more than she said she could afford in court only weeks before. This money was obviously gifted by her Nan but I believe she knew she had access to this money at the court date. I queried how she could afford such a property and she told me Help to Buy, which I have since found to be a lie. I am not in a position to purchase my own place and believe the original court decision to be invalid based on misleading information and want to contest the consent order. It has been just over a year but I have only recently found out that she didn’t purchase the property by Help to Buy so that’s why I didn’t challenge sooner. Can I still challenge it now?
SeparatedDads Editor 23 Jul 2018
In order to be granted another room (from the council), you would have to be the person who is in receipt of child benefit and/or other benefits if applicable.
Steve 22 Jul 2018
I split with my ex 5 months ago then she found out she was pregnant we remain good friends and have agreed that I will take on the baby full time as my ex wants to go back to work not long after the baby is born, she already has two children that are grown up and in school. I'm currently in a house share with one room not far from her and would need a bigger place. What should my options be?
SeparatedDads Editor 25 Jun 2018
If your ex is the primary carer of your children - it is likely she will be awarded the house if she has no alternative accommodation (the court will always ensure the children first and foremost have a roof over their heads). If you do not have a home, dependent upon your financial circumstances you would have the option to rent privately of request to be rehomed by the council. You can speak directly to Shelter via the link here to find out more.
Micky 23 Jun 2018
I have a council house im the only one on the tenancy we have 2 boys i have sepersted from my wife my ex is taken me to court to get the house if i loose will the council rehouse me as im worried ill b honeless
Jack 28 May 2018
My son (not married) shares a mortgage with his ex partner. 2 years ago he discovered she had been in a long term affair with a work colleague. He has 2 children now in primary school, one child at the time of the separation left with my son to reside with us (parents) whilst he dealt with the situation the younger child stayed in the (mortgaged) home and they sought mediation. His partner agreed to nothing but accepted her oldest child was too distressed to remain with her and he could (reluctantly) remain with the father. She stated during mediation (not documented) that she would seek to take over the mortgate in a few months time when she was due a pay rise which she believed would allow her to get a mortgage, she informally agreed with my son that if she was unable to get a mortgage then the home would have to be sold. Now 2 yrs later after being declined by several lenders she is now seeking to demand the return of her older child and for my son to continue to cover half the mortgage until they 'are of age'. Although my son pays £500 per month rent to us he will be unable to afford to rent a property and maintain his half of the mortgage which additionally means he can never get another mortgage until he is clear of his current joint mortgage (at his age that means never) Has anyone had a similar experience and can they give me some advice, unfortunately we have to sell our home and my son will be looking for other local affordable accomodation by the end of the year.
Saul 16 May 2018
Hi,I am separated dad, we weren't married. We are separated for 3 years, have 3 children. I live in 3 bedroom consil house since she left and rent privately. As she doesn't want the consil house could I keep it for myself as place for acssess to the children? If I amn't allowed to have 3 bedrooms how many bedrooms I am allowed? How can I swap it to different location? Saul
SeparatedDads Editor 26 Mar 2018
There is no official rule either way. If you cannot agree between yourselves, then you would have to suggest mediation. If you cannot agree through mediation, then you would have to apply to court, As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
Proud dad of 4 25 Mar 2018
Hi guys. I’m in need of some advice. My ex and I split about a year ago and I have three children with her. I also have my Eldest who lives with me full time at my parents house. My ex partner is saying I can only see the children if I have them at her house. However unfortunately due to the amount I pay out each month I cannot afford to drive so getting there and back puts a strain on everyone. I pay child maintanence at an agreed price but I’m only allowed to see them at her house? Can I have them at my house? Am I right to question her about this? Thanks in advance.
SeparatedDads Editor 19 Mar 2018
You're welcome. In addition, if your ex is working, earning and paying tax via HMRC, then you would also be entitled to claim child maintenance from her towards the day-to-day upkeep of your daughter. Speak to CMS directly regarding this.
Daniel 17 Mar 2018
Thanks very much - really appreciate it.
SeparatedDads Editor 16 Mar 2018
You would have to speak to CMS regarding the matter of child maintenance. Your ex should not be allowed to continue claiming for your daughter if your daughter is living with you. You would also be allowed to claim child benefit for your daughter (if she is in full-time education). Once child benefit is registered in your name, then you will be entitled to claim benefits such as working tax credits, as you will be classed as the registered primary carer of your daughter. Also, if your daughter is living with you, you may be entitled to apply for council housing. Please see more via the Turn2Us whichI hope this helps.
Daniel 16 Mar 2018
Thanks very much. Do you know if I might be entitled to child tax credits and child benefit. At present, from one source, I was told I am not. I have two jobs (both low paid), live with my elderly parents, having left my family in 2014. My daughter came to live with me in January and does not want to have contact with her mother. I need to find an affordable flat but can't do do on the salary I receive. I really would like to know what financial aid I might be entitled to as the situation at home is a strain for my parents. Many thanks for any advice in advance.
Greg67 Editor 15 Mar 2018
@Daniel - if your ex doesn't work, then she can still claim child maintenance from you, for your son.
Daniel 13 Mar 2018
Hi, My daughter is now living with me. My son lives with my ex wife. I was and still currentky am paying child maintenance for both children. I work, my ex wife doesn't, we have barest minimal contact. Is it possible for me to stop paying child maintenance entirely since custody is divided, i.e. one parent lives with one child, the other with the other. Thanks for any advice, Daniel
SeparatedDads Editor 1 Mar 2018
Unfortunately, only the resident parent/primary carer can claim an extra room for their child.
Anthony 28 Feb 2018
Hi, I am separated, never married but I got a little girl with my ex. She is 8 now and she would like to stay overnight at mine. Unfortunately I have 1 bed social flat and no space for her. I tried to apply for a two bed but council said “ as her mum has a house (not council) I have not right to have a two beds in order to have my daughter overnight. Is this right?
SeparatedDads Editor 20 Nov 2017
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, because of the bedroom tax, a non-resident parent is seen that their children do not have a home with you and therefore will not award an extra bedroom to your children for visits etc. It means overnight staying can become problematic if the NRP cannot provide suitable accommodation for their children. You may wish to join our Separated Dads forum for moral and other support if you are going through a tricky time.
teebone76 18 Nov 2017
Hello everyone, im new to this site, but given my present situation, I would greatly appreciate any advice. To summarise, I have recently separated from a partner of 11 years, which is upsetting but necessary as its run its course. We have 3 daughters together aged 2, 5 and 8 whom i love dearly and am adored by them too. anyway, ive found myself homeless as the house we lived in was her tenancy so i had no choice but to leave. So, ive found myself at 40 years of age dossing on various sofas and in a dark place mentally. I am not in a position to see much of my girls due to the distance i now live from them. I do hold down a job and am trying to create my own family environment for us, a fresh start. However, im on a fairly low income and along with child maintenance payments, high rent and bills etc, i just cant afford private renting. So i have applied for social housing nearer my girls. I just dont know how much of a priority i will be, if eligible at all. how many bedrooms im entitled to as i have a letter from ex to confirm ill have girls twice a week. I cant seem to find any clear answers on my entitlement as a separated dad so any help, experience or input would help. thanks in advance
Helsbels 29 Aug 2017
My son at the moment lives with his wife and twother kids in their council house it was my sons tenancy before he married so they are both on the tenancy she wants a divorce and her mother keeps telling him to her out how does he stand with the council have they got to rehouse him if sglhe gets to keep the housenot
Chernoburka 22 Mar 2017
The courts are so biased against men in Britain that my advice to any man there going through a divorce and destined to lose all is to learn Russian and go to Russia. The maritial laws are much fairer there for sure. Britain talks about rights and what you should be entitled to but actually getting it is another matter. I know men that have paid £30,000 in legal fees fighting for what they are entitled to and still not getting their entitlement. The only people who benefit from their divorce are solicitors and courts. Litigation costs big money in the UK and can take years too. In Russia you can still draw your pension just like in the UK and it is worth more there too. I hope this advice is helpful and good luck.
Anney 8 Feb 2017
I was married and lived in the same council property with my wife and five children for more than 20 years. (youngest of the children is now 18). Our divorce was made absolute this year and the wife wanted me to move out because the rent book is in her name. She was initially asking me to move out immediately but after a court hearing the Judge gave me until the 31st of July to move. I am currently studying, full-time for a master degree in Accounting so i couldn't afford to rent privately. I tried moving away from London for affordability but i couldn't pass the private agencies credit check. I am wasting so much money travelling and paying the agencies' non-refundable checking fees. Can you please give me an advise on where to seek help for accommodation, we currently live in Chingford, borough of waltham forest. Could the council be compelled to re-house me because i also have some health issues.
David 6 Feb 2017
Me and my girlfriend of 5 years have finally broken up, we have two very young boys and I have moved back into my fathers living on a blow up bed for the time being. I pay and still pay slightly more than half the rent until she is back on her feet, the child benefit is in her name and my local housing have told me I'm not eligible for a house because of this. Housing benefit have told me I'm also entitled to nothing as I'm working full time and mum gets the benefits. I've basically been told that renting privately is my only option. After looking around and calculating bills which includes my car which I will need to see the kids and work I will be left with nothing. Does this seem right? Is there any more support for me anywhere? I've never claimed any benefits in my life.
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Dec 2016
If you're not married or in a civil partnership and you don't own the family home, you may still have some rights to it if you've made some form of contribution. This is known as establishing a beneficial interest, please see CAB whichHowever, much will depend upon when the house was bought, your ex's own investment in to the property, whether you have children together and whether you have made a significant contribution above and beyond day-to-day living expenses etc such as renovation work etc. Therefore, you would also need to seek legal advice to establish whether you have a case.
Daves 8 Dec 2016
I have been living in my partners house for 7 years. In which time I have helped pay the mortgage and bills etc. We are now splitting up and she is selling the house? Am I entitled to any money from the sale, to cover my investment??
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Nov 2016
You can find out all you need to know whichI hope this helps.
None 18 Nov 2016
Hi the wife wants me to move out of the house but I am on esa due to heart condition and have no money in bank basically am skint how / who do I see about getting a house /flat
SeparatedDads Editor 14 Sep 2016
Your best option would be to seek legal advice here. Much depends upon your ex's financial circumstances regarding whether she should help pay the mortgage. Theoretically, she should pay half. However, because you have a child with her, then this may change the dynamic slightly. The other father isn't responsible for paying towards your mortgage as it's not his house, but he will be eligible to pay your ex child maintenance for his son.
Rolyat 13 Sep 2016
Hi, I split up with my partner of 10 years 9 months ago and moved out of the family home thst we jointly own, and bsck to my parents. We hsve a 3 year old son together who lives with his mum, along with her son from a previous relationship. I have been paying the mortgage in full as a loose arrangement to ensure my son is not disrupted following our break up but financially cannot continue to pay in full. Our mortgage deal ends in January and I'm considering approaching her to pay half of the mortgage along with me as she has made it clear she will not sell. I need to understand what my legal rights are as a homeowner and father. I've read that I need to pay the mortgage until my son leaves home but if that's the case then does the father of my ex's son need to do the same? In struggling to get clarification without paying for a solicitor. I don't want to sign a new deal in January as this keeps a link between us and commits me for another period of time. Any advice would be apprecisted
SeparatedDads Editor 11 Aug 2016
The only reason you should be obligated to continue paying towards the house is if a) there are children involved (which may mean a court would allow your ex and your children to live in the house until your children leave full-time education), or b) your ex is waiting for an opportunity to buy you out and/or you cannot come to an agreement regarding the sale of your house, which would invariably free you from the mortgage payments. However, if there are children involved (which I assume so because of the page you are on), then you are in more of a tricky situation and I suggest you seek legal advice to explore your options. Much depends on how financially independent your ex is and what her views are in relation to yours.
James 10 Aug 2016
I have separated from my wife in January 2016. I had paid the bills and the mortgage prior to leaving we agreed that she would transfer all bills into her name except the mortgage. I have paid half the mortgage and the house insurance under the agreement she utilised the property solely for herself. That agreement has broken down. The mortgage is in both names but she is benefiting from the whole property. The question I have do I still need to pay for the mortgage or can I expect her to pay a reasonable about for living in the whole property that I am paying half towards?
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Aug 2016
I'm afraid I can only suggest you seek legal advice in this matter as we can only advise on general/non-specific matters.
Vinvoltage 4 Aug 2016
Hello there, I am living in my property as isolated life from my wife since we took mortgage she did contributed very less and last four years totally stopped and I had been working many hours ..last year she place charges on me to punished me after used bad wards 1st time in 13 years of marriage after financial abuse as she put very little deposit under 10K and I put £60K at in 2009 .. now she earns more than me and I discovered she is keeping over £100K in her account separably ..once I discovered that I asked her and she refused to pay any payments for family home. Since I been charged or reported and I did sacrifice at that time as it was happen in sec and I had no clue how to fight while I am self- employed trader I looked all factor my son , my earning and saving in my family home and thought my wife re grate for her action I compromised my statement. Last few months she behaving badly and isolated me from my son , threaten me verbally , and not willing to pay anything in joint...and now with very small noticed period she is taking my son out of UK and she have over £110 in her capacity .. Her income over 5000 per month and not willing to pay any thing.. I have all the bank statement from the bank in relation to my mortgage. I felt like left alone in very poor condition as if I file for divorce I will loose over 70% of my saving as we have under 8 years old son and my recent income gone very low and have no saving on hand. Please can anyone put some light on this please. PS. I been separated in my own home by her and forced me to sleep separately. Sorry for long and real life suffering story .. Many thanks in advance.
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Jul 2016
If your ex and her current partner can prove they can make the payments, then it shouldn't be a problem. You should approach the mortgage lender directly for this advice.
mathwica 6 Jul 2016
I separated from my wife back in 2007. We have a joint mortgage although I decided during our divorce that she could keep the house. We'd only purchased the house in late 2005 and we have three small children so I didn't think it was right for me to take a percentage of the property. I have a good relationship with my ex wife and see my three children, now 13, 11 & 10, every weekend. My ex wife has been in a new relationship for the last 5 years and I would like him to take my place on the mortgage. Is there anything I can do legally to remove myself from the mortgage? I currently rent privately but would like to purchase my own property. Thanks,
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Jun 2016
A husband and wife's money/assets are considered jointly owned. It means pensions can be included as assets in divorce financial settlements. Couples that don’t prepare for this can find that their expected pension benefits are significantly different once they divorce, please see the Pension Advisory Service whichYou may need to seek legal advice if you wish to further know your rights on divorce.
Chinka 9 Jun 2016
My wife and I have been separated for a couple of years , She now is pushing for divorce and wants 1/2 value of the house after its sold and the debts are paid . But she is thinking she is entitled to 1/2 of my 28 year pension when we have been together for only 16 years , married for 13 . I`m currently still paying all the house hold bills and giving her money as she has no income coming in and doesn't seem to looking for any form of career, seems to be depending on me still to provide as well as pay for my own board and lodgings . Am I paying too much ? is my wife entitled to 1/2 of all my pension ?
SeparatedDads Editor 11 May 2016
Unless you can afford to rent privately then I'm afraid is a very difficult situation for single fathers. I can only suggest that you look into house-sharing where there is more space and your co-lodger doesn't mind you having your children to stay over.
Foxy69 10 May 2016
I have seperated from my wife and she lives in the house (housing assosiation) i am currently staying in a small tiny box room and struggling to find accommodation as i have my two children come to stay and its not ideal for them or me. I am financially unable to orivate rent at this stage and been told the ciuncil housing list is huge ???? As im sure other men can appreciate its a frustrating time and i honestly have no idea or clue how to move forward so me and my childrn can have somewhere of our own any pointers or advice please i would be very grateful
SeparatedDads Editor 5 May 2016
Please see the Turn2Us link here which may help you further.
Pete 5 May 2016
I've been separated 8yrs now, always paid csa but this amount has dropped due to a change of job and lower income. Much to her disgust. Apart from renting my own place the 1st two years I've lived between my parents and gf house because I can't afford rent or get a mortgage because I'm still on the marital house deeds (another sacrifice I made to keep a roof over my kids heads) I've not had one penny of help from the government mainly because I don't know if there is any. I'm self employed with a low income, I'm 42 and technically homeless on paper. What help if any is out there. Just peeves me when ive have paid taxes etc for 25+yrs and housing is handed out to immigrants and the likes or rents paid for permanent dole dossers. Citizens advice are a waste of time.
Loubowski 26 Feb 2016
Me and my wife Separated I have 2 extra bed rooms in my house. Can i rent these rooms out to make extra income Thanks
Belfree 13 Feb 2016
I currently have a joint mortgage with a ex.(not married) We have 3 children together, 1 lives with me in the home we have the mortgage on and the other 2 live with her in a housing association home. We have been separated for 4 years and in that time my ex has made no contributions to the mortage. Also last year my ex got married. I left the home originally leaving my ex with the children but then she decided to leave the house so I moved back in and our oldest child choose to live with me. I am wondering if i want to sell the house do I have to split the proceeds with my ex? Do I have to have her permission to sell? Thanks
Twardy 12 Feb 2016
Hi a separation is on the cards for my wife and I we live in housing association property and are joint tenants. We have one child together and shared care would be what we'd do. If she does leave me how quickly will I be rehoused roughly and how many bedrooms could I expect to have we're currently life tenants.
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Feb 2016
I'm afraid we cannot comment directly on whether you qualify - I can only direct you to the Shelter Scotland website here which will hopefully answer your question.
goldie 3 Feb 2016
Hi I'm separated from my wife and live in the family home .we have three kids together I'm having difficulty paying mortgage and my lender has given me an option of mortgage to rent will I qualify for this as I take the kids 3 to 4 nights a week regards
Danny 16 Jan 2016
Hi, I have two beautiful children. An 11 year old daughter from one relationship and an almost 2 year old son from my last. My son's mother and I split up about a year ago and up until now the drill was to pick up my daughter after school on Friday and then we would travel to my son's mothers house and all stay there for the weekend. I would stay in the kids room and things were very amicable. However she has now had a change of heart and has told me that she no longer wants me to stay. maybe she has met someone else and feels that me being there in the weekend makes things difficult. Its a shame as this is the only opportunity I have to spend decent time with them both and also maintain their relationship with each other. I live in a small one bedroom flat, which due to the ages of my children means they cannot share the bedroom. My question, if anybody knows, is in order for me to convince the council that I need a property with 2 bedrooms., How many nights per week must they be staying with me before they would consider this. Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 3 Dec 2015
Unfortunately, the Bedroom Tax may still be an issue here. While there are those that are pushing for a ruling with respect to non-resident parents and how the Bedroom Tax violates a parent and child's right to a family life, I am not sure what the council's stance is on this currently. You would have to get in touch with your council directly.
KGO EHO 2 Dec 2015
I've separated from my girlfriend of 7 years and don't have enough to money for private rent, i'm on the council list but on my own before we had children. Can i get a council property for me and my 2 children as they need there space and me and my ex both want to have shared access? What documents etc would i need? I'm currently at back at my parents for the short term but in no way this is practical or can go on indefinitely Any advice would be much appreciated
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Dec 2015
If you are not married, then you can negotiate a financial or separation agreement between you, if both parties are in agreement. The agreement would set out how you wish to sort out issues about money, property and arrangements for the children. However, it becomes a bit tricky when one of you disagrees. If your partner has contributed to the upkeep of the house and paid into it for a period of time (you don't say how long you have been living togther for) then your partner may have some rights especially where children are involved. While both parties are still legally recognised as single individuals, both have parental responsibility, therefore there will be more financial obligations in place, such as who has a claim to live in the property. Therefore, I suggest you take some legal advice to ascertain your legal position should you both not agree.
James 1 Dec 2015
Hello I'm living with my girlfriend, we are not married but we have a child which is 3 years old. We live together in a house which I bought and the deed of the house is in my name. We like to separate as we no longer love each other anymore. I like to know what my rights are. Since we are not married and the house is in my name can I asked her to move out? Or what are my options?
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Nov 2015
Please see Shelter link here which can help determine your eligibility.
Mr r 3 Nov 2015
Separating from my girlfriend of 7 years don't really have enough to money for private rent what are my chances of getting a council property as I have 2 children with her and will need to see and have space for them please help as I'm at a loose end sleeping on my mates sofa
Chris 23 Oct 2015
Hi need help just split from partner after25 years we are joint tenets on council house but I'm back at my mums at 40 I can't have my 4 kids to stay and council are saying I av no dependants so am going to be lowest of the low if I give up my half of the council house and can not afford to private rent pay for kids and my bills. Does anyone have any help plz
Mrs O 10 Oct 2015
Hi, I hope you can give me some advice. I'm a full time working mum (I have a good job and earning more than an average), my husband does not work and refuses to find employment, so I am the only provider, this is one of the reasons why the marriage is coming to an end. Since I'm working full time I do the morning school run but he picks kids up from the school and looks after them until I get home. We live in a council property and he refuses to move out, although I do work I do not earn enough to afford to privately rent a property to accommodate children in a reasonable proximity to their school. Will the fact that I'm working and that he is not effect my chances of keeping the council property. He is a good dad but he has number of issues such as drinking and not being able to cope well with stress hence I believe that children should have the main residency with me. Any advice would be much appreciated!!!
Matt 20 Jul 2015
Hi, I am currently having an issue with my ex. I am currently paying her £600 a month (and £200 directly to nursery pcm), the £600 to which she reports covers the rent, food, nappies, clothes etc ... I am not currently allowed to have my daughter at my Mum's due to my ex disliking my Mother and says I can only have her over night when I get my own place. I cant afford to get my own place due to the amount I currently pay out. My ex's response is "If you can't afford it then you shouldn't of had a child!". I currently have my daughter 2 days a week which she spends at her Mum's. I am seriously stuck in what to do ... Please help! Thank you, Matt
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Jul 2015
@Rich - firstly, the fact you don't have children puts you in a better position, as there are no dependents that need providing for and need a home. I have included a link to the CAB articles on the subject here which should help. You can legally return to the home, if you are struggling with your finances. One option would be to live under the same roof, until you decide what you wish to do with the property, or if you decide to sell. I have also included a link to our partner: When Ex Changes Locks on Jointly Owned Property, link here which should help with some further information. Seeking some professional legal advice would help you too.
Rich 29 Jun 2015
Hi I recently left my wife. She was abusive and controlling so I left the house and am nw living with friends for which I have to pay rent of £500. the marital home is solely in my name, we have no kids and she has not worked the entire time we were married (apart from 3 months). We got married abroad and now have lost the certificate. I have been told I cannot start divorce until i get hold of marriage certificate. In the meantime I am paying £1500 per month mortgage whole my wife lives there for free. Plus I have to pay rent where I am. What are my rights? Can I kick her out of the house by filing for some kid of injunction? I am not able to get back into the house.
SeparatedDads Editor 20 May 2015
@MrLeeches - the courts will not judge your new assets as joint assets if you can prove that no joint matrimonial money has been used in the process. I hope this helps.
MrLeeches 16 May 2015
My wife and I are seperating at the end of the month when the lease expires on our rented house. She is moving in with her parents (they have enough room for my wife to have her own room and my son to have his own room too). I have an 11 year old son from a previous relationship. I am looking to buy a property ( the seperation has been a long time coming) for numerous reason, cheaper than renting etc etc This article talks about buying but what are the legal ramifications? Could my wife claim half when we divorce? It is being paid for with money that I have sourced and I will pay the mortgage with my wages. No matrimonial assets will be used. How will the courts view this? Thanks.
SeparatedDads Editor 13 Apr 2015
@alexdaboss - you will only get finacial help if you are the resident parent. However, it is probably best to go via the Turn to Us website herein order to see if you may be eligible for any other benefits. I hope this helps.
alexdaboss 9 Apr 2015
Hi I'm now divorced for just over a year. Separated two years before. We rented off her parents so when we split I was made to move out. Now I'm having to rent a room and pay maintenance (which is no issue ) what rights do I have to get help with housing as my daughter is now 7. And will need her own space very soon but I as many can't afford to buy or rent a two bed property. Please help
Caz 19 Mar 2015
My son and partner have split up and own a jointly mortgaged property 50/50 (not married). She originally agreed to sell but has now changed her mind. She is living in a 5 bedroomed house with her daughter from a previous relationship and my grandson whilst my son has moved back home. In refusing to sell (there is enough equity and ability for both parties to re buy within a 3 mile radius) she is obstructively excluding my son from living in the area where he can have frequent contact with his son and where he works due to the fact he has no capital and the rental prices are too high. Can he request a sale on the basis he is entitled to be able to provide a sable home for his son and be able to live nearer to where he works?
SeparatedDads Editor 21 Jan 2015
@craig - I couldn't possible advise on what you are entitled to as that is for the court to decide and is dependent upon a number of factors which include the welfare of a child of the family, income, earning capacity, property and resources of each person, financial needs, obligations and responsibilities of each person, the standard of living enjoyed by the family before the marriage breakdown, how long the marraige lasted, contribution made by each person to the welfare of the family, including looking after the home and bringing up children etc. I should seek legal advice your end too. I hope this helps.
craig 20 Jan 2015
My wife of 10 years cheated and had affairs. Moved out 1 week before Christmas. We agreed a 50-50 equity split on the house sale. Just agreed a sale, I have had an offer aggreed on my new place. She has said she isn't signing the solicitors papperwork as she is seeing a family solicitor and wants more equity from the house sale. What am I entitled to please.
Koala bear 16 Jan 2015
Hi There, myself and my wife separated 2 years ago we have a teenage daughter. My self and my ex still work together running our own business and remain good friends. amazing I know! Currently I am staying in our work studio and my daughter stays with me 8 days a month. My ex has pushed for a 60/40 split on the equity on the sale of our home plus maintenance. My friends have been advising me to seek legal advice as to what i'm entitled to as I'm finding it problematic to secure a 2 bedroom flat with the equity and a new mortgage. When I have my new place I would like to have more days with my daughter. However I dont want to go to court and jeopardise our relationship. I don't want to feel resentment further down the line when the sale has gone through and the maintenance set up. we both earn the same amount from the business. many thanks for looking
Sam Editor 9 Dec 2014
@Vinnie - this is not a healthy situation to find yourself in. Firstly, through disliking your own grandson. Just because he is like his father, doesn't mean he will turn out to be like him, remember he has half of your daughter in there too. Sometimes, as adults we need to make an effort, remember the boy is young yet and he needs all the help he can get to be bought up in a loving and caring environment, in order to give him the best chance in the future. This is your family - would you rather be living alone somewhere? It might in essence seem like an easy option, but the reality might not be as pleasant as you think. Your wife is trying to do the best for your grandchildren, I think in this case she could do with some support. Perhaps, it's time to put your personal feelings aside and become the bigger person by mucking in to help give your wife some support and your three grandchildren the best possible start in life that you can. Changing your attitude and making an effort with your grandson, might reap rewards. Why not try to get to know him a bit better, find a mutual interest and spend some time together, just you and him. You can turn this around, if you try.
VINNIE 7 Dec 2014
i am a grandad of 8 children 3 of whom live with me (my wife and i have custody of them) but i hate the grandson , who is 10 years old . he reminds me so much of his dad ( who is a user in drugs) my wife wants me to leave the house because she say's im so miserable and moany . the truth is i just don't like my grandson ,and i am making everyone else unhappy !
Jay 26 Sep 2014
I've just separated from my partner of 13 yrs for a just over a mouth...We have two girls together an 9 and 2yr And she wanting me to sign over our joint rented property we shared for 8 yrs which was built for my needs as I'm disabled, I'm currently staying with family, but it's not suitable for my needs, I don't really don't want to kick my children out of the home, if I sign it over to her, I will not get help with re-housing and I need to have a place so can have my to girl to stay.
Regor 5 Aug 2014
My partner moved into my house 14 years ago and brought her two children from another relationship with her. We never married and she has known all along that I didn't want to marry. 12 years ago we had our first child together. 10 years ago we moved to another property which I paid for and is in my sole name. 8 years ago we had our second child. I have always paid the household bills e.g. mortgage, utilities, council tax, 90% food bill, holidays, cars (insurance, tax & servicing), etc. etc. She has now met someone else so our relationship is over albeit we still live together with all four children. What are my rights regarding my house? Does she have the right to stay? Thanks
willy 12 Jun 2014
i have 2 children,8 &10, i was in a 23 year relationship with there mom.she left me for another man 10 months ago,coldest winter ever,she took my kids to her boyfreinds apartment,what are the odds? he owns the apt,he don't live there.the only asset we share is the house,she bailed on every buyout deal we had,she wants out of my life.is there a such thing as abandonment on the house?cause now she wants half,when i don't think she should get any,she left me with a hell of a mess and now i just quit paying the mortgage,what can i do?i have a buyer but she don't agree with who wants it,go figure
susie 11 Jan 2014
Im writng this comment to help fathers who are in a abusive partnership with spouses.My son is the best father in the world his spouse is a addicted gambler uses the kids money and money from her partner to keep the addiction going she dried to drown her 14 year old daughter because she helps dad to look after the siblings then the so called mother only have interrest in the money what she gets from the Goverment.My son has two older daughters from a marriage whebn he was very young and both girls 26 and 21 get abused and stalked on facebook by her and my son has hell.She takes off with her mother and other fellows so my son have a restraint order for him and the kids the 14 year old daughter had to leave the state to be secure and only came back 11 days ago and now is with dad in the house but the mother and her mother drying to get him with 5 kids out of the house the woman never worked playing a fine lady but is a tramp My gain is to herlp every man who is going to a simular situation and i want to say as a woman CAN WE PUT UP A PETITION so woman like her cant treat men like that. I will try anything to help men to get their rights then what i see men are better5 fathers like 75% are mothers.
Badger 30 Jun 2013
can some explain why i'm part of the old class pre 2000,i have never been able to go on the 20% or now 15% they have taken 30% because it's old rules, but as soon as new rules come in they apply them, I was told when he was 18 I had to pay till his 19 now it seems it's till his 20 or goes to uni, in febury I was told my csa was 0.00 and a hand signed letter from the director when I phoned up I was told it had finished and to eggnor any computer generated letters' then in april i'm told I hasn't finished they have told me they want £700 in back pay ments and £30 pounds a week puls another £30 in back payments so they want £265 a month I only ear £850 a month with out goings over £500 can I clame tax credit or do anything, back in 2000 I went to the appeal board and won for my petrol to work when I go back to the csa they told me they weren't going to pay it and I should appeal again thease people are just bullys, hope you can help
nibs 25 Nov 2012
My wife is still living in the family home with our three children. The house is jointly owned but she is now paying the mortgage. If this continues do I lose my claim on the house? I contributed £100,000 of my own money and we have a small mortgage.
bevlaa 20 Nov 2012
Can my force me to sell our jointly own home now the children are 18 because of thee poor housing market and the fact there s only 2 years on the mortage I wud prefer to continue paying 50% of the mortage each then signing he house over to the kidz with the privizo that I am allowed to stay in the property until I die or need care as its still the family home and none of the children are ready to leave I don t see the urgency of sale !!
Jess Editor 26 Jun 2012
@determined dad, changing the name of a 9 year old child is different to that of a baby or toddler, in that the child has grown up with that name and that's how they are known. Just because you now have PR doesn't mean you can change his name it needs both parents to agree to it, so unless the mother agrees that the child's name should be changed then the judge won't do anything about it. Also the child may not want their named changed, have you asked them about it? You could always go for a double barrel name but again unless the mother is willing you won't be able to change it.
determined_dad 25 Jun 2012
My question pertains to child name change, my ex changed my child's name by deed pool in 2007, as I did not have pr because my child was born before Jan 2003, when the laws regarding pr changed. However in 2010 she agreed to and signed a deed poll certificate, however she later changed her mind and refused to complete the process and said I don't have pr therefore it wasn't worth the paper it was printed on, I took her to court and was granted pr and contact. so what I want to know is ? can I consider deed poll certificate from 2010 valid now that I have pr 2012 ? even though she has performed a complete u-turn on the issue of name change it, and if it is can I commence to apply to those concerned, (school, doctors, passport office etc) to change my child's name back?Also if I should take her back to court regarding this will the judge even consider it reversing it or would I have to agree to double barreled surname?I should highlight I have recently acquired a court order granting me PR, and I have regular weekly and weekend overnight contact. I have had contact and pr for 6 months now and the age of my child is 9years old
Steve 10 Jun 2012
I'm in the process of separating with my wife, no home to sell as we live in rental, but I cannot afford to pay both rents if I move out, or just the inicial month/deposit on a new flat unless I pay nothing towards our current house, is there any suggestions/assistance available? thank you
paulie 3 Feb 2012
ive been seperated for four years now and broke for most of them i share my kids with my ex but havent had a solid placel were my kids and i can call home

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