With separation, housing becomes an urgent and thorny issue. You might well own your current house with your partner, but what happens to that when you split up, and especially the money you have tied up in it? Even if you’re renting, there are issues that need to be faced. As for where you go, what’s the best path to take, renting or buying another property?
If you need to formally notify your landlord about the tenancy changes or discuss arrangements with your ex, you can use our free Letter Builder.
Your Current House
If you’ve been renting the house in your name and you’re moving out, both you and your ex should be aware that there’s no automatic transfer of lease to her. You’ll need to talk to the landlord and make new arrangements. You’ll also want your deposit back, since the amount will be very useful when renting a new place.
If you own the home, the two of you will need to make arrangements for your property. If it’s owned jointly, as most are, you have two choices. If one of you intends to remain in the house, that person will have to buy out the other. You can also decide to sell the house and split the money. If your partner is buying you out, make sure the arrangements aren’t just private, but registered through the building society, so you’re formally released from the mortgage. If not, then legally the property will still be classed as partly yours, and if your ex defaults on the mortgage, it can adversely ruin your credit rating.
Find out how much child maintenance you should pay or receive. Takes less than a minute.
Try our Child Maintenance Calculator free, here on this site →To Buy or Rent?
When you leave, you can either buy a new house or rent. Rental has many attractions in the short term, as you decide what you want to do and where you want to live. Be aware that most rentals are on renewable short-term six month leases. You’ll initially pay the first month’s rent plus a deposit (usually equal to a month’s rent) which can be refunded when you leave, as long as the property is in good condition.
You might consider renting with a friend, but make sure both your names are on the lease, otherwise, if the other person is named as the renter and moves out, you might find yourself homeless.
If you decide to buy, you’ll almost certainly have to downsize, since you’ll be relying on just your income rather than that of a couple. But with most homebuyers needing at least a 20% deposit, this may not be an option for you unless you have a large lump sum.
Before you look at any property, make a checklist of what you need. Apart from the basics, each of your children should have their own bedroom (budget and the number of children might not make this possible), and there should be a garden where your kids can play. (See our article What You Need in the House for Your Child on this site.) If you buy, even if it’s just a small property, it puts you back on the property ladder, and if you can make a good down payment, your monthly mortgage might be less than rent.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Choosing your Location
The other question is where you should live. There are distinct advantages in staying close to your former home, since it makes contact with your children much easier. However, some separated fathers prefer to move away. This can be due to a job, the desire to make a clean break, or cheaper housing prices in another part of the country. There are pluses and minuses to both that you need to weight for yourself.
When You Move
Regardless of where you move, when you do switch addresses there are some things you need to do. Before you transport everything to your new place, go through items – do you need or even want them? Moving is always a good opportunity for a clearout.
You’ll also need to inform people about your change of address. That’s not only friends but organisations such as banks, building societies, the Inland Revenue, credit card companies, DVLA, insurance companies and your GP etc. This will ensure that important items of mail follow you to your new home.
My ex kicked me out the family home 9 months ago and since then I have been sleeping on my mothers sofa.
We own our house, I own the higher percentage. I have been paying the mortgage since I left. My ex is refusing mediation and wants me to take her to court to sort the house out.
She refuses to work and believes I should pay for the house until she can ‘find someone else to take over the mortgage’! 1 - she has never contributed to the bills or mortgage in all our time together as she still doesn’t work. 2 - it was my money that bought the house.
I’m sleeping on a sofa while she lives in a £400k house that I pay for!!
I would never see my children homeless and would give her a bigger % of the sale money for her to buy another property. every time I pick the kids up for my weekends she shouts about daddy taking the house away from them and making them live in a flat with no garden. It’s traumatising the children and killing me to see them so upset.
I work 16 hour days to keep a roof over everyone’s head at the moment and can’t see a way out.
Our mortgage is up for renewal at the end of the year and with the interest rates as they are I cannot afford to pay for their house and support myself.
She’s also changed the locks to my house.
The solicitors are also no help. Just demanding more money for not a lot of output.
Please, someone give me some advice. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t know what to do.
Mentally kids are affected by the separation but living with strangers will also affect the kids.
Also, poor dads as most of them leave the house to help the kids and the mums but put themselves in a critical situation. They start from the beginning and have no support from housing and council. It's really sad to see this in Uk.
my boyfriend has two children that he sees as often as possible and I wouldn't dream of ever stopping that I love them like they're mine and I know that I would feel differently about him if he had not bothered with his children that wouldnd be the character of man I would want to be with so I do believe that women out there do need to give people a bit of a break especially to there children dad
it's no different from the way they see there own dad,! my experience its maintenance look after your kid at the weekends which you have to pay for yourself when your looking after them when you have them to feed them but also pay the mum when she's gone in my world that don't work the way I see it whoever has that child at that point if one's got the stuff they need they give it to them if the other one's got the stuff they need they give it to them because at the end of the day is your children isn't it I don't mean that directed at you as in like you're not doing what they're supposed to be I just feel like you're in a really unfair situation because what if she just decided she wants any house mates CBR check or they can't be around the kids you can't win anyway if you would like to chat, have a look at different ideas I would like to trying to help.as I'm unable to work I try and help in any way I can. you can find me on Facebook Kerry whybrow if you want to bat ideas about or you just want to have a rant sometimes we all need a little support hope to hear from you soon take care
but when i asked for help with child tax credits from HMRC they said if my ex wife does not want to let me have any they can't force her even though I have my children with me four to five days a week.
On top of that because I work on and off for agency work and then live on universal credit I have fallen behind on my mortgage the mortgage company are now threatening to take my home from me but can't seem to get help from anyone council can't help tax credits can't help and soon I could be homeless because my ex is down as sole custody of the children trying to explain to authorities that they stay with me more they told me that did not matter to them and it's upto me to sort it out myself. For men like me and millions of other men like me the Goverment and councils just don't care. Just would like to know if anyone out there could give me some advice please as the Goverment and other authorities just don't care unless your a woman or druggie or alcoholic.
I am a single father who has my 9 year old son Tuesday's Thursdays for evening and every other weekend for overnight stays. Since I split from the ex I have lived at my parents on the sofa. This is very difficult when son comes over to stay. Can I ask would I get help with a place of my own as work full time hours a week and Still can't see how I can afford to rent a place with rates these days. The ex is loving life in a 3 bed house and I'm Struggling to find a good night's kip each night. Really beginning to take its toll on me. Any help or advice would be muchly appreciated ??
Dave
I’ve split up with my parter last October, we have 11 years old daughter together.
As a PhD student and part-time employee I’m renting 2 rooms (one for myself and one for my daughter when she coming over for a weekends) in a shared house (3 friends leaving with me). I’ve tenancy until June 2021, and I’ll be able to look for the place on my own after that date. Yet, my ex after sever bad decisions, lack in communication and neglect, make me worry about wellbeing of our child. Is it possible to have full custody for a child when leaving in shared house?
Thanks,
Luke
I'm a single dad and I have a 9 year old son who I get to have 3 to 4 days a week.one whole day and 2 to 3 overnight only...I live in a studio flat which is nice but not much room did house share before for 5 years but my son could not get on well with the person I was living with things just are getting worse with this living situation.i just want to know what my chances are of getting a place with the council for a single dad
Will I get help with a flat or something as one of my kids wants to live with me
If my ex wants me to leave the council flat.
2 Senarios
1:
I leave with my kid can the mum be rehomed or will she be able to keep the council flat?
Can I apply for a council flat?
2 I leave without my kid to one place where I can't welcome my kid because it is too small and others live there.
I call Council, But I am not considered as homeless, what can I do... my kid sad, I am depressed any solution?
I’ve been back at my parents for a year now after split with my ex.. trying to get back on my feet, financially stuck.. desperate to move out but private rent is impossible.. will I get any joy going to the council with my parents kicking me out?
I’ve got a 5yr old son
Appreciate any advice!!
Cannot seem to find the answer to this anywhere, so wondering if you could maybe assist.
My partner and I have 2 sons (just turned 3 and about to turn 2) and a stepdaughter about to turn 8. The general rule is that she is supposed to stay with us 2 nights per month (every second Saturday) however this is often restricted by her mother for various (I won't say ridiculous, but yeah) reasons. She is now talking about her being unable to stay overnight going forward as our home is overcrowded with 3 children in one bed. Are there actually any actual rules on this? She does have a BED in the room with them, but the 3 of them share. (They seem to like it and it's only 2 nights per month? Are there official rules / guidance?)
Thanks Dean.
I have now found out she is going to rent the house out and continue living at her mothers with our daughter.
So for me as the maintenance money goes towards, Bill's mortgage etc and I have my daughter 3 nights a week am I within my rights to stop paying her maintenance as the previous family home will be rented out so she is not providing a roof for our daughter, all Bill's are covered by her mum at her house?
Like I say I have my daughter 3 nights a week and supply for her while she is with me, my ex is at her mums paying for nothing.
I'm looking for some advice, our marriage has now run its coarse and is over. We have three boys two early teen and one four year old. We own are home jointly and have equity in the home.. We have not discussed the financial aspects as yet. In an ideal world we would divide the equity and I could set up on my own with the boys visiting very regularly. I could not afford to pay the mortgage to the family home and live at all well if the wife digs her heals in and decides to stay in the home. The wife has no income other than child tax credits. Thanks in advance for any advice
I left my now ex-wife 4 and a half years ago and have been living with my parents since.
I have two children, my daughter - 15 and son - 12.
Since January this year my daughter has been living with me. She left her mother's home due to ongoing psychological abuse and no longer has any communication with her.
I am on a low income which would not cover the cost of renting. The need to move out of my parents' house is very pressing as my daughter sleeps in the back end of the living room and my mother has a chronic lung condition which requires that she rests as much as possible. Obviously with four people in one relatively small house this has become strained.
I would greatly appreciate any advice with regards to being eligible for rent being topped up. Is this common practice under similar circumstances in the UK?
Many thanks for any information.
J
Everything is moving so fast. Not really sure what needs doing. The housing situation is very stressful as I am the sole earner in the household so a lot of the burden falls on my shoulders. I don't see how I can support two houses. My priority is supporting my children, but I do not think I can afford to find my own place.
Would the council help with accommodation? I need somewhere that I can look after my children, and have them stay over etc.
Any help would be much appreciated.
However, although currently she seems keen on moving out of the matrimonial home. And renting instead, i know that no lenders will give her a mortgage due to her earnings. however if she changes her mind and do want to stay in our home is there anyway in which she could legally force me to remain on the mortgage?
A little facts about us married April 2017. I filled for divorce april 2018(would have done this sooner if i could.) Brought the home in 2014 and our only child was born 2015.
Thanks
I got divorced last year and my ex was awarded 82.5% of the assets (£153k cash & £40k lump sum pension) which criplpled me financially & left me with £23k after paying solicitors fees.
A couple of months after the divorce she moved in to a 3 bed town house which was £60k more than she said she could afford in court only weeks before.
This money was obviously gifted by her Nan but I believe she knew she had access to this money at the court date.
I queried how she could afford such a property and she told me Help to Buy, which I have since found to be a lie.
I am not in a position to purchase my own place and believe the original court decision to be invalid based on misleading information and want to contest the consent order. It has been just over a year but I have only recently found out that she didn’t purchase the property by Help to Buy so that’s why I didn’t challenge sooner. Can I still challenge it now?
Saul
My ex and I split about a year ago and I have three children with her. I also have my Eldest who lives with me full time at my parents house. My ex partner is saying I can only see the children if I have them at her house. However unfortunately due to the amount I pay out each month I cannot afford to drive so getting there and back puts a strain on everyone. I pay child maintanence at an agreed price but I’m only allowed to see them at her house? Can I have them at my house? Am I right to question her about this? Thanks in advance.
I have two jobs (both low paid), live with my elderly parents, having left my family in 2014. My daughter came to live with me in January and does not want to have contact with her mother. I need to find an affordable flat but can't do do on the salary I receive. I really would like to know what financial aid I might be entitled to as the situation at home is a strain for my parents.
Many thanks for any advice in advance.
My daughter is now living with me.
My son lives with my ex wife. I was and still currentky am paying child maintenance for both children. I work, my ex wife doesn't, we have barest minimal contact.
Is it possible for me to stop paying child maintenance entirely since custody is divided, i.e. one parent lives with one child, the other with the other.
Thanks for any advice, Daniel
I am separated, never married but I got a little girl with my ex. She is 8 now and she would like to stay overnight at mine. Unfortunately I have 1 bed social flat and no space for her. I tried to apply for a two bed but council said “ as her mum has a house (not council) I have not right to have a two beds in order to have my daughter overnight. Is this right?
We hsve a 3 year old son together who lives with his mum, along with her son from a previous relationship.
I have been paying the mortgage in full as a loose arrangement to ensure my son is not disrupted following our break up but financially cannot continue to pay in full.
Our mortgage deal ends in January and I'm considering approaching her to pay half of the mortgage along with me as she has made it clear she will not sell.
I need to understand what my legal rights are as a homeowner and father. I've read that I need to pay the mortgage until my son leaves home but if that's the case then does the father of my ex's son need to do the same?
In struggling to get clarification without paying for a solicitor. I don't want to sign a new deal in January as this keeps a link between us and commits me for another period of time.
Any advice would be apprecisted
I am living in my property as isolated life from my wife since we took mortgage she did contributed very less and last four years totally stopped and I had been working many hours ..last year she place charges on me to punished me after used bad wards 1st time in 13 years of marriage after financial abuse as she put very little deposit under 10K and I put £60K at in 2009 .. now she earns more than me and I discovered she is keeping over £100K in her account separably ..once I discovered that I asked her and she refused to pay any payments for family home.
Since I been charged or reported and I did sacrifice at that time as it was happen in sec and I had no clue how to fight while I am self- employed trader I looked all factor my son , my earning and saving in my family home and thought my wife re grate for her action I compromised my statement.
Last few months she behaving badly and isolated me from my son , threaten me verbally , and not willing to pay anything in joint...and now with very small noticed period she is taking my son out of UK and she have over £110 in her capacity ..
Her income over 5000 per month and not willing to pay any thing.. I have all the bank statement from the bank in relation to my mortgage.
I felt like left alone in very poor condition as if I file for divorce I will loose over 70% of my saving as we have under 8 years old son and my recent income gone very low and have no saving on hand.
Please can anyone put some light on this please.
PS. I been separated in my own home by her and forced me to sleep separately.
Sorry for long and real life suffering story ..
Many thanks in advance.
I have a good relationship with my ex wife and see my three children, now 13, 11 & 10, every weekend. My ex wife has been in a new relationship for the last 5 years and I would like him to take my place on the mortgage. Is there anything I can do legally to remove myself from the mortgage? I currently rent privately but would like to purchase my own property.
Thanks,
But she is thinking she is entitled to 1/2 of my 28 year pension when we have been together for only 16 years , married for 13 .
I`m currently still paying all the house hold bills and giving her money as she has no income coming in and doesn't seem to looking for any form of career, seems to be depending on me still to provide as well as pay for my own board and lodgings .
Am I paying too much ?
is my wife entitled to 1/2 of all my pension ?
Thanks
I have two beautiful children. An 11 year old daughter from one relationship and an almost 2 year old son from my last. My son's mother and I split up about a year ago and up until now the drill was to pick up my daughter after school on Friday and then we would travel to my son's mothers house and all stay there for the weekend. I would stay in the kids room and things were very amicable.
However she has now had a change of heart and has told me that she no longer wants me to stay. maybe she has met someone else and feels that me being there in the weekend makes things difficult. Its a shame as this is the only opportunity I have to spend decent time with them both and also maintain their relationship with each other.
I live in a small one bedroom flat, which due to the ages of my children means they cannot share the bedroom.
My question, if anybody knows, is in order for me to convince the council that I need a property with 2 bedrooms., How many nights per week must they be staying with me before they would consider this. Thanks
I'm currently at back at my parents for the short term but in no way this is practical or can go on indefinitely
Any advice would be much appreciated
I'm living with my girlfriend, we are not married but we have a child which is 3 years old. We live together in a house which I bought and the deed of the house is in my name.
We like to separate as we no longer love each other anymore.
I like to know what my rights are. Since we are not married and the house is in my name can I asked her to move out?
Or what are my options?
I hope you can give me some advice. I'm a full time working mum (I have a good job and earning more than an average), my husband does not work and refuses to find employment, so I am the only provider, this is one of the reasons why the marriage is coming to an end. Since I'm working full time I do the morning school run but he picks kids up from the school and looks after them until I get home. We live in a council property and he refuses to move out, although I do work I do not earn enough to afford to privately rent a property to accommodate children in a reasonable proximity to their school. Will the fact that I'm working and that he is not effect my chances of keeping the council property. He is a good dad but he has number of issues such as drinking and not being able to cope well with stress hence I believe that children should have the main residency with me.
Any advice would be much appreciated!!!
I am currently having an issue with my ex. I am currently paying her £600 a month (and £200 directly to nursery pcm), the £600 to which she reports covers the rent, food, nappies, clothes etc ... I am not currently allowed to have my daughter at my Mum's due to my ex disliking my Mother and says I can only have her over night when I get my own place. I cant afford to get my own place due to the amount I currently pay out. My ex's response is "If you can't afford it then you shouldn't of had a child!". I currently have my daughter 2 days a week which she spends at her Mum's.
I am seriously stuck in what to do ... Please help!
Thank you,
Matt
I recently left my wife. She was abusive and controlling so I left the house and am nw living with friends for which I have to pay rent of £500. the marital home is solely in my name, we have no kids and she has not worked the entire time we were married (apart from 3 months). We got married abroad and now have lost the certificate. I have been told I cannot start divorce until i get hold of marriage certificate.
In the meantime I am paying £1500 per month mortgage whole my wife lives there for free. Plus I have to pay rent where I am.
What are my rights? Can I kick her out of the house by filing for some kid of injunction?
I am not able to get back into the house.
I have an 11 year old son from a previous relationship.
I am looking to buy a property ( the seperation has been a long time coming) for numerous reason, cheaper than renting etc etc
This article talks about buying but what are the legal ramifications? Could my wife claim half when we divorce? It is being paid for with money that I have sourced and I will pay the mortgage with my wages. No matrimonial assets will be used. How will the courts view this? Thanks.
What am I entitled to please.
Thanks
CAN WE PUT UP A PETITION so woman like her cant treat men like that.
I will try anything to help men to get their rights then what i see men are better5 fathers like 75% are mothers.
in april i'm told I hasn't finished they have told me they want £700 in back pay ments and £30 pounds a week puls another £30 in back payments so they want £265 a month I only ear £850 a month with out goings over £500 can I clame tax credit or do anything, back in 2000 I went to the appeal board and won for my petrol to work when I go back to the csa they told me they weren't going to pay it and I should appeal again thease people are just bullys, hope you can help
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