Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do

Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do

A 'contact order' is an order made by the court that determines who is entitled to communicate with a child (either through face to face meetings or telephone calls, or indirectly such as by letter). A 'residence order' is an order made by the court that determines where and with whom a child lives. From April 2014, these orders have been replaced with a single 'child arrangement order' which covers both issues (given that they are intrinsically linked).

You can apply to the courts for a child arrangement order. For most parents, this will be the end of the matter, and both parties will comply with the order. However unfortunately for some parents, this can be the stage at which further problems begin, if the other party breaches the order.

What is a breach?

Arguably anything that does not comply with the order is a breach. For example if the order states that the non-resident parent should have contact every Friday from 5pm and contact is not provided until 5:05pm, this is technically a breach of the order. However it is important to be reasonable; the courts are unlikely to take any action if the breach is insignificant.

The courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion.

"I have a contact order which says that I have contact with my 14 year old daughter from 6pm on three evenings a week. My ex-wife has agreed that she can play netball for her school team on Wednesday evenings until 6pm which means that I won' see her until 7pm. Can she do this?"

Whilst it would have perhaps been better for your ex-wife to discuss this with you first, try to be flexible. Does your daughter enjoy playing netball? The courts consider a child's welfare as paramount and so her participation in such activities (if she wants to take part) will likely take precedence here. However if this causes you problems, perhaps ask your ex-wife if you can swop the day that you see your daughter to a day when she is home earlier.

"I have lost my job and have been unable to pay child support. I have a court order to see them twice a week. My ex is now saying that if I can't pay child support, then I can't see my kids. Is this a breach?"

Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the Courts.

"I have met someone I really like and would like to introduce my kids to her. I have a court order to see my kids every Wednesday and Sunday. However, my ex has said she doesn't want the kids to meet my new partner and that I can only see my kids when she's not there. Can she do this?"

Concerns often arise over a new partner being introduced to children. However the Courts will not impose a restriction on whether this person can be present during contact unless they can be shown to be a risk to the child's welfare (e.g. someone with convictions for violence or sex offences).

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What to do if there is a breach

1) Discuss

The first step in the event of a breach of an order should be to try to discuss this with the other party involved. Whilst this can often be awkward when a relationship between you has broken down, this is the quickest and cheapest way to resolve the problem. When approaching the discussion, try to be flexible. If the breach has occurred due to a change of circumstances (such as the child moving from primary to secondary school, or the other party changing jobs) then maybe you could agree a way to vary the order to something that could realistically be followed.

[The Court does not have to approve any agreed amendments to the order. However make sure that you have this agreement in writing to protect yourself should a further dispute arise.]

"I've had a court order for three years to see my children and everything was working fine, until we had an argument last week when she refused to let them come, after the third week in a row. Admittedly, it got a bit heated and we had a big argument on the doorstep. She called the police and now she has taken out a non-molestation order against me. What happens now?"

If you are unable to contact the other party directly (for example due to a non-molestation order) you may need to ask someone you trust to try to discuss the issue with them, or as per step 2 below, ask a solicitor to correspond on your behalf. In this situation, it is likely that some amendments will be needed to current contact arrangements so that you and your former partner do not see each other. For example one of you drops the children off at school and the other collects from school. Contact or Children and Family Centres will also assist with the transfer in such situations.

2) Write

If you are unable to get anywhere by discussing the issue with the other party, write to them setting out your concerns and proposals to resolve the problem. If you have a solicitor, you may wish to ask them to write to the other party reminding them of their obligations under the order. [Keep a copy of any letters / emails sent in case you ever needed to refer to these in court.]

3) Consider applying to Court

Court enforcement should only be used as a final resort, as this will be added expense, and will generally only serve to increase tensions between the parties.

In order to apply to the Court for enforcement of a child arrangement order (or contact order / residence order), you will need to fill in, issue and serve form C79 (which can be found on the HMRC website). The Court will wish to see that other methods of resolving the issue have been attempted, which is where copy letters (as in point 2 above) are useful.

If you wish to apply to vary a child arrangement order, you will need to use form C100 (which can be found on the HMRC website)

If you are considering making an application to Court, seek independent legal advice. The Citizens Advice Bureau can provide you with free and independent legal advice in this regard.

What can the Court do if a breach has occurred?

There are a number of options open to the Court in order to punish the offending parent and try to ensure that the breach does not occur. Which route the Court takes, will depend upon the circumstances including the severity and frequency of the breach, and where the child resides.

  • The Court can impose a community service order, requiring the parent in breach of the child arrangement order to undertake up to 200 hours of community service.
  • The Court can fine to the parent in breach.
  • The Court can impose a short prison sentence on the parent in breach. (This is however very rare, as the parent in breach is usually the parent with whom the child resides and the primary carer.)
  • The Court may also impose an order for the parent in breach to pay the other party financial compensation if the breach led to loss (e.g. a cancelled holiday).
If in doubt, it is always best to seek legal advice. Citizens Advice Bureau provide free and independent legal advice and can be contacted on 03444 111 444.

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Truth 18 Jul 2023
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Mike Wilson 17 Jul 2023
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Gav 17 Apr 2022
My child arrangement order is suspended while i had a court case to deal that as now been thrown out of court So now i need to know how and what forms do i fill in to ask for my suspension to be lifted so i can see ny son again
Kes 13 Jun 2021
Hi I'm wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and could advise me in anyway possible. Last September I agreed for my children to stay with their dad's as my house was unsafe and not secure enough to safeguard them. It wasn't police protection although police were called but a voluntary agreement for 24 hours untill plans to rectify the home were secured. However this spiraled out of control within hours and was told they wasn't allowed to come home and were subjected to an initial child protection conference meeting the same week. I have 4 children the 2 oldest were cin plan and remained with there dad's (separately) youngest 2 were child protection and with their dad (together) for 3 months I got them back on the 17th December after 3 months. My daughter is old enough to make decisions she's almost 18 and decided to remain with her dad. My son wasn't there the day in question he was already with his dad for his contact. There is a residence order with my son in favour of myself back in 2012. His dad will not let him see me nor any contact and it's been 10 months to long. I would be very grateful in some advice in how I go about getting him back and the steps in action needed to take the proper way. His dad is an alcoholic and when we were in a relationship the domestic violence involved was horrendous hence the court order. He is manipulating, sly and and a cruel liar that never is at fault for anything. I'd Greatly appreciate a response regards kes
Father 9 Mar 2021
This article is the theory, not the reality. The UK family courts DO NOT ENFORCE NRP FATHER'S CONTACT ORDERS. See the statistics. Contact Orders are an illusion. UK family courts exist to enable mothers to legally kidnap children if they so wish. Don't waste your time.
Marge 1 Mar 2021
My partner gained more access to his child in November 2020. The parent between them have to slip the summer holidays. If it is 5 weeks the child is to be with the father for 2 weeks if it is 6 weeks the child is to be with the father for 3 weeks. The order states this. Now the mother is saying that it applies to full weeks (Sunday to Sunday) so summer holidays are 5 weeks. This isn’t in the order. She has refused to see it is a 6 week holiday. When does he take it back to court? Now as he has written proof that she will only allow 2 weeks or when it has been breached?
Andy 12 Dec 2020
I have a court order that states i have my daughter every week at my mums saturday over night to sunday and wednesday to thursday and drop her at nursery. Now shes started school and my ex has stopped me having her over night i get her for 2 hours on the wednesday now which means shes breaching the court order. My lawyer i never hear from and it sounds to me like the courts are not interested. She seems to be able to do what she wants and get away with it. Iv breached it a couple times but in my daughters best interest but im straight up court. What do i need to do i really cant bare it anymore my mental health has plunged significantly. I just dont know what to do anymore.
Dan 12 Oct 2020
Hi I am from scotland. My Ex don't send my daughter whenever she feel. We have a Agreed solicitor letter about weekend visit but most of the time she donot send my daughter. I understand in England and wales you can represent yourself and fill C100 to get visit right. How I can do something similar at scotland to get a court order. I cannot find anything in scottish court website how to fill such a form or even possibility to represnt myself. My solicitor running the Seperation agreement for 1 year and costed me £3k. For Child contact court order she is asking deposit of £3k, which i didn't have.
Biff 21 Sep 2020
I have a court order that I speak to my 14 year old daughter on a Saturday then I pick her up the following saturday, then phone call,etc. Contact has been up and down it goes good for a short while then goes really bad again. Now my daughter is getting older I would lat least like to see her and take her out for a couple of hours every other week. My ex has always made it as hard as possible for me to have any kind of contact with my daughter since I applied for a contact order in 2012 and had to get another contact order in 2016. Now my daughter says she don't want to see me again and when I do get to speak to her on the phone my ex is always in the back ground making phone calls very hard for contact. Just would like a bit of advice if anybody can give me if because of my daughter's and her wishes that she don't want contact will that mean I will never see her again.
Musta 29 Aug 2020
My ex girlfriend not letting me see my daughter cuz I called the social services because she's leaving my daughter in the carseat and leaving her for hours while. Y daughter crys till she becomes sick and could not breath so now I'm taking her to court to get to see my daughter for 2 days a week Friday till Sunday but my ex is saying she will tell the court I have to pay child support and I'm not working at the moment cuz of my disability do I still have to pay child support if I'm not working and I'm disabled I just want to know if the court will say pay child support thank you
AnnaB 30 Jul 2020
Hiya All. I have 3 children with my ex husband and another child by another father who sadly passed away. Since then I became very ill and depressed. I was a single mother with my 4 beautiful children who I love so very much and was working full time. I self sufficently contacted Social Services as advised from my docter for help finacially, housing etc as advised by my GP. I have no friends or family support. Nobody had concerns about my parenting and I love my children so much. My Ex husband spoke to S.Services and explained that I am a bad mother and really stuck a knife in and caused parent divide and parent alienation beween the children and myself. I could go on for ever but to cut to the chase a Child Arrangments Order by the court was placed and in November 2019 he phoned to tell me I could not see the children anymore. I have secured a court date very soon to fight the case that he has breached court order, I want to see my kids. Anyone encounted this. help please
DJMarshall 24 Jul 2020
I have contact with my three children every other weekend which I wasn't happy agreeing with but deemed it to be the best for the kids so they got quality time with both me and their mum as after school doesn't allow a lot of time for them to do much! Even with this is place their mother is always late dropping them off and always late picking them up! This varies from 10-30 minutes. The pickup side had a knock on effect with my work which means I'm late. I also have them for 2 lots of 1 week in the school holidays, as per the court order they drop off in the evening and pick up is in the morning. We come to collection this morning and as I write this (9am)their mother is nowhere to be seen (not that I'm moaning about seeing my kids for longer, however my kids are excited to see their mum) I'm not sure what I should do with this!
Hobbs 17 Jul 2020
I have a court order in place which states the mother must make sure that the children spend time with me every other Saturday between 9.00 and 16.00 and one call a week. The mother is saying my oldest child doesn’t want to see me and have not seen him since the court order was introduced. Is she right that if he doesn’t want to come then I have no rights? She has also said that she has booked to go away on my weekend I have them and has told me I have to deal with this? Shouldn’t she have to ask permission?
Lute 16 Jul 2020
Due to domestic violence my ex got one call a week ( which I abide by ) and when contact centre opens he’s allowed a visit every 2 weeks until she’s comfortable enough with him for him to take her out on his own ... because I won’t allow him to my house he’s said he’s taking me back to court for an enforcement order ... but as far as I’m aware I’m abiding by what the court order stated ... it goes from love songs to insults and abuse and since that’s not worked he now wants a dna test ...( which I’m ok with although a little insulted ) our daughter is nearly 5 and apparently someone in a pub told him she’s not his ... a part of me .., a large part wishes he wasn’t the dad as it’s been years of abuse regardless of us being apart for nearly 3 years ...who can help and understand my situation
g 12 Jul 2020
hi my ex wife had an affair and took the children. I had to jump through hoops and eventually went to gourd for a court order. We have been back two other times when I've had to file for an enforcement order. Both times her solicitor used this to vary the order to reduce contact by having things such as (on my available time) written in and highlighting on the order available time is days off, of on leave. Thus I can not take the children to school at 9 am if I am due to start work at 9 pm that day. And I cant skype call in the evening if I finished work at lunchtime etc. She would not allow contact for the first 12 weeks of covid lockdown even though the government allowed it but I was even told it would be difficult to take to court and the delays were near a month long. I now see the children on negotiated weekends (not the court order as she feels its better for the children's home schooling). My issue now is I have a holiday to france booked (driving and staying in a mill just for our family bubble). In the beginning of August. She is saying she is not happy for them to go even though I have answered all questions and said how we would follow all guidance. Its all paid for, can't get money back and kids want to go. Is there something I can do or rush through a judge in time (as long delays in court process) for this one issue in time for us to go?
C.laurie 26 May 2020
@henbury.with my long hard think I realised with the (child’s age )if she wanted to meet me or even to talk to me so would call but she doesn’t .that my brother( speaks volumes to me ) .and realised its best to give up and focus on my life .in reality the child wouldn’t care if I was (dead because there is zero emotional attachment )why even bother worrying or wanting to meet someone who doesn’t even want to meet you and with the age of the (child )I can’t (justify )getting a solicitor or bother with courts it’s just not worth it to me .(you will come to a point where you are done and once there and made that decision you feel better and you stop thinking about the whole situation and just get on with your life .
C.laurie 26 May 2020
@henbury.i myself have a daughter that I am not allowed to see from orders her mother .the child is 16 now so I am done for good now .i feel it’s best I myself have sat bye myself and had a (super long hard think) .and realised the child is 16 right she has (zero emotional attachment to me )because she doesn’t even know me .why put myself though all theses (court cases) right to get one phone call a week And be treated like a prisoner and most likely she wouldn’t even pick up the phone .i am not a smart men but I know when to cash in my chips .and after my long hard think her mother and step father can have her I am done .
C.laurie 26 May 2020
@henbury.how old are your kids ?.if it was me and I went to court 5 times and if your child is 16 and over and have there own phones and still dont call you or want anything to do with you I would just drop it leave it and get on with your life .sounds like the mother won’t ever budge and the kids don’t want to no you .you need to sit down bye yourself and have a long think on weather it’s worth going back to court or just let them get on with it .
Henbury 26 May 2020
My kids mum took out a restraining order against me so contact is so hard to deal with, I have an access order in it I'm entitled to 1 phone call per week for 5 mins, I have to provide a mobile phone for this, in 4 years 11 mobiles have been provided all have been broken and calls missed, regularly they claim the phone isn't working and I don't get a call, the kids no whave there own mobiles that their mum got for them but she won't let me have the kids phone numbers or the kids to have mine, I can't afford to keep supplying phones is this enough to put in a C79 we have been to court 5 times in 5 years, I really don't want to do it again but she refuses to budge at all
C.laurie 26 May 2020
@mum.get over yourself do as a favour reread your post ?.all I smell desperate vindictive women .you women are all the same .same as that sam bournes and they wonder why I never bothered with a (court order) and why I was( abusive I wanted rid of her for good and the same with her children ).now I can spend the rest of my life in peace away from (cheating ugly old women) and her offspring.why in the hell would someone demand contact under these circumstances??. .
Mum 25 May 2020
Court order already in place! Just before lock down the father of my child didn't turn up for contact, I texted and he didn't respond, 2 weeks later the same thing happened with no notification from him! The day after the second occasion he messaged to say he won't be seeing our son anyone because of the pandemic! he rang our son twice In 12 weeks, our son has only just turned 2 so it's a long time without any contact! Last weekend be collected our son for the first time in 12 weeks even though the situation hasn't really changed with covid, he then said be doesn't want our son on a Wednesday any more even though it's in the order! He believed the court order is on me and that if he wants to sacrifice his time with our son then I need to deal with it! This is a person who demanded every weekend and every Wednesday for contact, I'm sick of him dropping our son when it suits him and am considering stopping contact and contacting the courts! He was abusive in our relationship and no he is using our son to keep the control!!
Dizzy 20 May 2020
I have concerns over my daughters safety with her father he lies to me all the time and my daughter (7) has told me that he leaves her over night with his gf and her parents and he goes back to his house which I fill is a breach of the court order. He has told the social serves that they stay at the gf because he dont want to be left on his own with her as he might have a fit as he suffers from epilepsy which so do I but he told court last year that his fits were under control. My daughter also come back from his the weekend with bruises on her neck which he tells me she did it herself scrubbing at her neck but my daughter tells me that his gf did it by scrubbing to hard on her neck which my daughter said it hurt It's really complicated but I have stopped contact for now as I am worried about her safety with him and will be talking to my solicitor tomorrow about getting amendments done to the order so she can still see her dad but with supervised visits
gutted 13 May 2020
since the virus has hit, I have stayed away from my son for obvious reasons but now his mum won't let me see him even though nobody in both our families have orhad the virus. where do i stand?
Steve 13 Apr 2020
I have a beach of court order arriving in post tomorrow but can't find a copy of it anywhere on net.
Justice 13 Mar 2020
Hi I have 4 year old girl the mother has breached and is not on good terms with social services they advised me to contact the police they ain’t answering what can I do
Net 11 Feb 2020
Court order in place however concerns of emotional abuse and manipulation and breach of court order Social services involved and advised to stop contact they did not say how just to get legal advise what should I do as he has disclosed that he will collect the children from school tommorow
Gas 4 Feb 2020
Currently have a court order in place. My daughter’s mum keeps saying she can take our daughter out of the country for a month without my permission which I’m aware of but can she do this if my contact is every other weekend as per order.
Chris 1 Feb 2020
@rico.just go back to your (solicitor) .you leave it too long like i did over a (decade )you won’t have much off a case .i thought been a father you would still have some rights but apparently not with my time frame .
Rico 1 Feb 2020
Hi, I have a court order in place and my ex has breached the order. Can I apply directly to the court to reinforce the order. I don't want my daughter suffering to long with this, is there a simple fix to this?
bond 28 Jan 2020
last year i won a court order to see my granddaughter shes 4 and a half for an hour a month at a supported contact centre and twice now it has been broken by her parents as they dont want her to see me first time they just didnt turn up claimed no one let them know contact had been arranged which was untrue this time they are claiming my granddaughter is unwell no mention as to what is wrong bug cold etc and they haven't offered an alternative visit and all i get is an hour a month the centre we meet at is open twice a month so they could offer another visit and make up this time an hour is not much when i used to have her nearly every weekend 3 out of every 4 and developed a very strong bond with her from three months old that was until my son destroyed our relationship with his domestic abuse as well trying to be in control as well as bullying me. Christmas this year i gave her xmas presents and cards for her and her sister two weeks later xmas day they were dumped on my doorstep with a nasty letter from the eldest who is only 10 with globel development delay clearly using the children as weapons to hurt me,No decent parent would do this to their child.
bond 28 Jan 2020
last year i won a court order to see my granddaughter shes 4 and a half for an hour a month at a supported contact centre and twice now it has been broken by her parents as they dont want her to see me first time they just didnt turn up claimed no one let them know contact had been arranged which was untrue this time they are claiming my granddaughter is unwell no mention as to what is wrong bug cold etc and they haven't offered an alternative visit and all i get is an hour a month the centre we meet at is open twice a month so they could offer another visit and make up this time an hour is not much when i used to have her nearly every weekend 3 out of every 4 and developed a very strong bond with her from three months old that was until my son destroyed our relationship with his domestic abuse as well trying to be in control as well as bullying me. Christmas this year i gave her xmas presents and cards for her and her sister two weeks later xmas day they were dumped on my doorstep with a nasty letter from the eldest who is only 10 with globel development delay clearly using the children as weapons to hurt me,No decent parent would do this to their child.
Chrissie.b 25 Jan 2020
I have a 2year old what is going to start nursery monday ti friday soon and my ex partner as an child arrangement and I've told him that he can have my child once a week and says he wants my child twice a week am I in the wrong if I say no and tell him that he can only have my child once a week.
Lucy 10 Jan 2020
Hi I am after some advise, I have a live with order and there is also a contact order in place for my ex to have our DD every weekend for a couple of hours, I am aware that I can take our DD on holiday for up to 28 days but how do I go about it with the contact order being in place? I just dont want my ex taking me back to court for going on holiday, I would video call and call my ex whilst on holiday. Thanks
Scotdad123 7 Jan 2020
Hi I live in scotland and went through the process of putting in place a contact order as my children's mother would not stick to the separation agreement. I would have preferred at least 50:50 arrangement but accepted the final agreement of every other weekend reluctantly as I know how biased against fathers the family courts are. Since the order was made I have learnt that my ex has been failing to get my 8 year old son to school on average 1 day a week and is constantly late on days when he does attend. (she lives only a few minutes away from the school.) I have also had confirmation from my children's GP that she has failed over the last year to take them to multiple appointments and referrals for health issues. I have also in this time rebuilt my life, clearing the debt from my first marriage. I have remarried and purchased a nice home in the countryside, which is a stark contrast to my ex's rent home and my new wife recently gave birth. I intend to go back to court to seek residency or at least 50:50 so I can support my children getting to school, doctors appointments and so they can spend time growing up with their brother. Do I ask the courts via a writ to set aside the contact order and make a residency order for residency and if not set aside the current contact order for a new contact order? (or is the latter not setting aside but ammending?)
Floppie 6 Jan 2020
Please do take your daughter to the DR. Any father have similar rights eith the mother and I am sure he would be more than capable to look after his daughter. Offer help and advice but do not minimise his parental responsibility. Communicate and raise your concerns and worries yo the dad. You will be breaching the order. Discuss it and he might be flexible.
Sie 4 Jan 2020
Mother has court order where kids stay they but child doesn't want to go back home what can I do
Mychildsake 1 Jan 2020
I would like to join this forum on behalf of my partner to find some solutions to issues to do with his son and his ex. Best Flo
Prawny1 4 Dec 2019
She has also pleased guilty to the beaches of a non molestation order this week, with a years community order and community service as punishment.
Prawny1 4 Dec 2019
Situation is different with my uncle, he has had residency of the kids for seven years so far. It is the mother causing trouble all the time, she even tried to get my uncle evicted (he lives with my gran, pensioner and the mother made false accusations saying gran had moved out to get her rent stopped and her pension) so that the kids would be homeless and she could try get them. She even tried to snatch the lad when he was very young, so uncle had to get prohibited stops order. Mother had told the little girl her dad didn't love her anymore now he has a new son, and that if it wasn't for his new partner and son they would be back together. To cause bad feelings at home.
C.laurie 3 Dec 2019
@prawny1.i was barred from applying visitation for two years bye the courts because off (violent outbursts) towards the child mother and the police even the magistrate and my neighbour at the time Who I assaulted I was just fed up back then with everyone I felt like (joke walked on and I was at my wits end) and just started fighting everyone even family I bashed my cousins husband at the time because he wouldn’t get my (weed )because he’s wife my cousin was in labour with there first child and he missed the birth off he’s daughter because he was in the emergency department getting stitches most off my family (dropped me )after that and (gave witness statements to the police (dogs ) and I was (charged )again .i thought it was funny at the time I (didn’t care ).just another slap on the wrist and boring day at the court house and it was .didnt really start thinking about my daughter to I seen a photo off her online she grow into a (pretty young women) even heard she is straight a student .i called she doesn’t want anything to do with me which is fair enough I feel my (slate is clean) I did right thing bye calling .all the best to them I think I glad they all moved on with there life’s and if she wants to change first name or surname go ahead .
Prawny1 3 Dec 2019
My uncle has residency order for his two children his elder lad doesn't see his mother because he is tired of being bugged to move in and listening to bad comments about his dad (he is 16 now anyway), Uncle has fought the mother in court three times because of false abuse claims where the mother wanted residency, the second time she was banned for two years from applying for residency, as soon as that ban was up he had to go to court for the third time following more false abuse claims where she was banned for a further five years. (Little girl would be 16 by then) The mother has always showed favouritism to the little girl to the point the lad has never even had a bed to sleep in at mother's house but the girl has her own bedroom. (Little girl is still young enough for mother to manipulate) the mother has continually breached the order refusing to return the little girl on time, picking her up from school on days she isn't supposed to, police refused to force the return of the girl, Social services don't care about the continued emotional turmoil and instability the mother is causing, and recently we found out she has been claiming benefits for the girl for the last 18 months telling the benefits agency the girl lives with her.(she told the little girl that she had gone back to court and won) At the time that she has made the fraudulent claim she was refusing to return the girl for about a month, my uncle had to confront her at the school with his residency order and get the school to call the police. He didn't want this because the mother has continually used the school as a battleground, the police refused to go to the mother's house to get the girl back even though there was a residency order in place. My uncle only found this out after a long battle trying to get his claim reinstated which was stopped without explanation. Benefits agency are now telling him they believe the mother despite the residency order, they told him he needs court permission to show his residency order as evidence in his benefits tribuneral. When they first split up 7 years ago the mother didn't see the kids for 6 months, and threatened that uncle would never see them again if he applied for the benefits. She has only ever wanted to kids for the benefits so that she can get her rent paid and not have to work,
snuggles 21 Nov 2019
@annon.what does poorly mean ?.is child in a bad paddock or a horse ?
Snuggles 21 Nov 2019
@annon.oh you poor thing my heart goes out to you darling .cant you read the order oh what mean ex you have .oh my god you blokes are funny
Annon 21 Nov 2019
Please please please can you help me. There is a court order in place my ex and I agreed with switching a weekend due to my daughter do a dance show she is 3. He missed her show due to saying he was ill. This weekend she is due to be with her father but she is ill and taking her to the drs in the morning. If she doesn’t go to her father this weekend have I breached the order? I need some clarity on how the order works. From the date of the order is when the weekends start we had a gradual process as my daughter saw him in a contact centre and wasn’t right to jump straight to overnight access. She is poorly and on one hand he should have to deal with her being poorly as that is part of being a parent. But he hasn’t looked after her properly in the past and she has come back with a high temp and had to have antibiotics. Social services have recently been involved also. I’m petrified of breaching the order but isn’t the best thing is to have her the following weekend??? Please I’m desperate!!!!!!!!
Jboy 8 Nov 2019
I have been to court and spent £15,000.00 to get to see my daughter and all was going ok for a few years. I moved to Jersey and my ex blocked all emails telephone numbers and FaceTime communications. I haven’t spoken or seen my daughter for over a year. Social services aren’t interested, her school treats me like a criminal and the only way I can do anything about it, is to go back to court which I can’t afford. I have never done anything to jeopardise the communication, the courts always found in my favour and I’m the one who is treated like the bad person. My ex is the one that ran off from our marriage a week after our daughter was born, I’m the one that waited around for 18 months because she said she was ill and the war started when I said I’m not waiting around anymore. I can carry on spending money on courts but nothing will ever improve, it might for a short period but then the process will start all over again. What are you supposed to do ?????
C.laurie 6 Nov 2019
If the mother off my child reads this ?.you created enough wreckage in my life (stuffed up )my relationships I had with my family members.i will never talk to you again (gods truth )I see you for what you are now I am (no child anymore ).you can have your daughter and if I ever catch you at the cricket nets again or anywhere near my (house )(I will call the police gods truth I want nothing to do with you )
C.laurie 6 Nov 2019
@bipty.i 100 percent will (never )have anything to do with the child’s mother and truly 100 percent believe I can do that I live in a (free country ).and if this pathetic women wants to snoop around my life I will call the (police )on her for staking me (cricket nets ).if she has found new love again good for her more reason for her to stop staking me and worry about her own family .because in reality my family is my (brothers )We are not bothered about her or her children gods truth.and if her (child was raped well call the police ).get new love off life to hunt the rapist down it will create a bond between new father and daughter
C.laurie 5 Nov 2019
@bipty.the mother off my child finds (new love all the time) even falls in love with women .(i want nothing to do with her gods truth and I truely believe I can do that )and if she is married now I am (happy for her ).I tried to see my daughter and after the last (court appearance) was the (icing on the cake I am done ).she can have her daughter my slate is clean I am not going( jail again )over trying to my daughter .they can have the (perfect family unit )all the best to them .i would (appreciate) to be left alone now so I can live my life with my brothers .
Bipty 5 Nov 2019
Looking for advice. Me and my x partner separated 9 months ago but remained living together. Recently he discovered that I have moved on and found love with another man. He has not accepted this and has taken my 3 year old daughter to West Wales 90 miles away to his parents on what i believed to be a holiday. He is telling me that I have choose my new boyfriend over my child which is untrue as I only agreed to a holiday. He wants nothing more to do with me and believe he is able to do this. I am looking for some advise as he told me today he is not returning my daughter.?
SGHit 21 Oct 2019
Hello, I am looking for some advice on how to move forward with my situation. My ex wife and I split over 18 months ago and I found myself going to court to gain access to my daughter, after a long, drawn out court case I was granted 6 nights per month through a court order along with alternate Christmas' starting this year. The plan that was put in place for Christmas and is listed on the court order is that I collect my daughter at 2pm and drop her off at 6pm Boxing Day. My ex is now refusing to follow the plan and has stated I can only have my daughter on the 23rd- Christmas eve dropping her off at 5pm. I have explained to my ex wife that the court order states I pick her up at 2pm on Christmas day but she has told me to contact a solicitor. After a very expensive battle to get the order put in place I am unable to do this. What steps can I take to make sure I see my daughter on Christmas day?
Confused 19 Oct 2019
Good afternoon, I am looking for some advice for my brother. He was awarded residential custody of his son three years ago, the mother spent 2 years taking it back to court over 5 times for varying issues the son was interviewed several times by carcass and social services who recommended that he reside with his father. The last court hearing the judge stated the was no reason for the residential order to change, and that enough government money and time had been spent unnecessarily and the order stood for nine years and any further applications would have to go through the judge and it would only get back into court if their was safeguarding issues. Since then the mother has called the police several times raising issues of safeguarding, the police visited my brother but no action was deemed necessary. Two weeks ago his son ran away aided/coerced by someone who payed for a taxi and a train ticket to London, allowing him to travel alone. Since this time the son has claimed that his father has assaulted him 3 months ago. Bearing in mind he returned home on the Sunday night before been coerced the Monday morning. Social services say they can.’t get involved with the case as they see no safeguarding issues and it was a police matter. The mother is constantly putting of the son been video interviewed and my brother has been told that it could take up to 41 days.What can he do there have been overheard conversation where a member of the family has been heard saying this is the only way you will get to see your mum. There have been concerns from Judge and the social services during the hearings about the mother’s capability of providing an emotionally stable upbringing. I would like to say that this has been a harrowing experience for my brother and has had to battle government and police lack of knowledge/ perception that fathers do get custody these days, instead they presume the mother has and never ask but have to be told. I am sure this behaviour would not have been tolerated if it was he other way round.
Tony 13 Oct 2019
Hello looking for some advice I went through court for access to see my son I got through the case with me winning access and got a order in place my ex partner after a while continued to be hard work and slowly started things hard and cut the contact once again I have since then been in limbo with what to do going through court and not seeing my son put me in a bad place I suffer with mental health issues I had to get my head in the right place before thinking about going back to court please could I have some advice thank you
F1Racer 13 Oct 2019
Hi all. Can you help me. I have a arrangements order and everything was going fine. Out of the blue I got a message saying my child has written a letter to the teacher and they have told mother to stop contact and apparently social worker has too. I have no idea what it’s about. Please can someone offer me some advice. Thanks in advance.
Jay 11 Oct 2019
I have a court order in place that states my son (3) should be collected by myself on a Tuesday from school and a Saturday Yo sleep over. This Tuesday my ex breached the order by collecting him from school without my permission. I wrote to her as advised and now she has "suspended contact" for me to see him tomorrow and his sleepover. Apparently her solicitor is aware but noone but my ex has notified me. Surely a solicitor or a court would have to contact me straight away? The reason she gave was a concern for his welfare. I called child services who have no logs of concern registered because there isn't any. The police said they can't enforce a family court order. What do I do??? As far as I am Aware it's just her word against mine. Am I legally ok to go collect him as outlined in the order? Can the police enforce it. And more importantly can she just suspend contact at any point? If so what's the point in the orders
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Rina 28 Sep 2019
Hi, my partner applied for a child arrangement order 3 years ago, and the mother has not always complied! This year my stepson come to live with us due to being abused by the mother, and doesn’t have much contact with her nor wishes to, she also still has his daughter in her care. My question is now that his son lives with us, does the court order still apply to him? And should he still see his mum on every other weekends?
Lucy 20 Sep 2019
Hello J. You can try to communicate with the mother in writing, to arrange the collection of the children, as stablished by the order, so that you can also use this as evidence, for the court, if she does not comply with the agreement. If an agreement is not reach and you are not allowed by the mother to collect the children, while a court agreement in place, you should notify the court of the breach of this order, as you also have parental rights.
Lucy 20 Sep 2019
Hello "Clem". She can't change the arrangements if stipulated by the court, or she will be in breach of the court order, what you could notify to the court. Whatever you discuss with the mother in regards to contact or any changes, I'll recommend you do so in writing, by email, so that you will have a record that can be use in court. If there is a court order in place and if changes are required as for the boys to enjoy some activities, you can get some amendments to the order, through the court, if she doesn't agree to some changes, to also accommodate the times or days that the boys expend with you. If you also like to spend some more time with your son, the court will consider and support the boy wishes. I hope it helps.
Lucy 20 Sep 2019
Hello "support". As you are the main career of the child and if a court order is in place you can notify the school, so that they wont allow the child to be collected by the father, if he is not allowed to do so, as per this order. If he hasn't seen his son in a year and if you disagree to allow now the contact stated in the court order for visitation every other Sat and an overnight stay, it's my suggestion to write to the court for an amendment of the court order that is active, explaining the historical after the order, what changes you request to be applied to the order and the reason, always taking as a main focus why those changes are in the best interest of the child. I hope it helps
support 19 Sep 2019
I am supporting a parent who says.....'We have a new child arrangement order in place which states my son resides with me and he can visit his father every other Sat and can now have an overnight stay. He is not allowed to collect my son from school. On his first overnight stay his father dropped him at my parents house because he found out that I was having a night out. He breached his order and since he hasn't seen our son. A year has gone by and he is now wanting to see our son and is ringing his school where he has just started 3 weeks ago saying that he will be coming to collect him. I don't know where I stand because I don't want my son to go, he didn't want him overnight when he was allowed and he hasn't been bothered in a year. Please can you advise what I need to do ?'
Clem 17 Sep 2019
Not sure what to do. My children are 15 and 13, both boys. There is an arrangement through the court currently and has been for the last 5 years that I have my boys every other weekend and every Wednesday. I usually drop them off at a neutral venue at 7:45pm on Sunday night the weekends I have them. Things between my ex and I are very acrimonious. My eldest has now started playing fooball. I tried to find a neutral venue but my ex enlisted him at a club in her town (We live about 25miles apart). I explained that if this happen I really couldn't help with travelling to games etc. Now instead of dropping off at 7:45pm she has insisted that he is dropped off at 12pm on a Sunday (fair enough). However, to avoid an extra trip she wants my youngest son at the same time. This results in me losing 8 hours with him basically. I am unhappy with this. I have suggested that if I do this could I have him an extra day during the holidays. She will not agree. There is no compromise. She now says if I do not drop the youngest at 12 then she will stop them coming to me at a weekend. Should this happen - how will the courts react? My eldest will be 16 in a few months and I am considering applying to the courts for extra time with him as he would like this also. Any ideas what the courts view on this might be?
Hopeful 27 Aug 2019
I am wondering if anyone has experience of social services mediation, is it as valid as private for then proceeding to court afterwards?
Ashley 26 Aug 2019
My son is 8 and my ex and I separated 6 years ago he saw my son every night for 3 hours and he went to his paternal grandparents Friday-sunday my ex however decided he wanted this in black and white and took me to court for visitation. He was awarded 4 hours 12-4 on a Saturday but my ex is a binge drinker and for the first 5 years picked him up at 12pm left him with the grandparents went to the pub and brought my son home when he was drunk (sometimes incapable of even remembering doing so) we went back to court and his 4 hours were in a contact centre for 6 months (he turned up there drunk a couple of times and at my house being abusive) after the 6 months he was granted his 4 hours out with the contact centre on the basis he spent the 4 hours with my son and no other family members were to be present. The first Saturday he had contact the first thing he did was drop my son at the grandparents and go to the pub the grandparents then got social services involved saying I was unfit to look after my son and temporary custody was awarded to my mother while I was being investigated myself and my son moved into my mother's for 6 months while this was going on and the paternal grandparents were mentally abusing my son to the point he was terrified he was going to live with them and never see me again his father even admitted in the presence of both our lawyers he didn't know when my son's birthday was! This was last year...since last August my ex has had no contact with my son and he is sleeping a lot better eating a lot better he's learning at school a lot better and has came right out his shell I've now received a failure to obtemper notice saying I'm with holding visitation can I get his 4 hours removed and what does this mean for me and my son?
Dicko 11 Aug 2019
Hi my ex partner has got an order where my daughters live with him my oldest daughter come bk to live with me in 2017 as there was issues with her and her step mum now my youngest daughter is here for the holidays and saying she dont wont to go bk to her dads as the same issue are happening to her as well now can I keep her here to safeguard her or will I have to take it bk to court
J 10 Aug 2019
I have a court agreement order to see my children my ex has stopped me from collecting them but has gone to work and left them with her mother can I force her to hand the children over to me as she ( the ex mother ) has no parental rights to my children and if so how
sally 8 Aug 2019
hi ive got a resdence order of my grandson which had from birth to the age of 18 his mum is casing so much trouble she as not seen him for 28weeks and before that 6 months and black mailing him wanted to see him and or daughter got took away when she was 2 ive rang police as has arasmant from her know she is demanding to see him he dont want any thing to do with her
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C.laurie 6 Aug 2019
@worriedmum.i am a ex father it’s been 10 years sence I last seen The child .(there is no way in the world I would go to court for visitation ).gods truth is there is no room in my life for a child even the old every second weekend I can’t do it .plus it’s been 10 years so who cares really .The child is a stranger to me and I her in reality it would be just awkward now weird .plus I don’t class myself as a parent in any shape or form .the child would feel the same way .truth is everything worked out perfectly for me I never had to pay child support or have the burden off looking after a child .the mother got what she wanted and I got what I wanted .it was a great understanding off each other .she knows I am not father material.and I couldnt care less about who the mother is with it’s her life .
Worried mum 6 Aug 2019
So I been to court and my ex has breached it a few times but in not overly worried about that but now he wasn't to change what doctors and dentist and school the children go to and as it's 50/50 that he's the first adress even tho he walked out on us and didn't have contact for 4 years I can't afford to go back to court is any of this legal?
Donz 6 Aug 2019
Hi all, Does anyone know what happens when the non resident parent breaches a court order and refuses to pick child up for contact? Bearing in mind this date was on his list of dates he’s available for contact but now can’t because of a party all weekend... ?? There seems to be so much support for dads who wants to see their children. My daughter dads ran off for 6 years and is now back “ready to be a dad” but still picking and choosing when. Thank you
Ell 29 Jul 2019
My nephew his mother and siblings travels to Dover to see friends but the father of the children live there and has court orders against him not to have children, my 16 yr old nephew has seen his farther and went to his house which father and new partner have told him to stay with them ( brain washing him) now the boy says he doesn't want to come home , police and social will do nothing and the mother and other children are due to travel back home tomorrow and is besides herself as wants son hom
Shak 6 Jul 2019
Hi id appreciate if anyone has been in same situation i have been given the full residence by court for my 2 children by court 3 years ago. Mother of my children is constantly breaching the court order shes supposed to pick them up from school on friday which she only did for few months and then refused to and for the past few months she even trying to avoid having them. She has been leaving them both alone at home telling them shes got work on Saturday and they stay at home with no food until 6pm. Im as a father has done everything for them and have raised them since they were very young now they are 9 and 12 years old. Wiill it be helpful if i involve social workers again or directly contact the court. Thanks
DavidB 31 May 2019
Hi all, My brothers ex cheated on him, took the kids and moved in with her parents (who happen to be wealthy). First she took him to court (with solicitors paid for by her family) to tie him down with financial costs (he has a low paid job) and she managed to negotiate 70% of the house value, even though they both put in equally. Next she started on the kids, reducing his access to two/three days a week - worked for one year. By this time my brother was representing himself as he couldn't afford solicitor costs. Then she made up allegations (none proven) with her solicitor about my brother. The court admitted there was no evidence but said they would reduce his contact. His contact was then reduced to once a month, this has been dragging on for two years now as the court wont change even though no evidence, no police reports, no social services issues, no CAFCAS issues. She has today got her solicitor to say she is cancelling contact all together. So like all of you, the usual steps. However my query is how can this happen, there seems to be no solution? A woman wants equal rights, equal pay, but a man cannot have equal rights to see his children? Lawyers, courts, social services, CAFCAS all seem to be crippled and just go 'whatever the mum wants she gets'. All the time enforcing the father to keep paying maintenance to her for not seeing his kids. MP's are scared, Parliament is scared. I appreciate that some fathers and mothers are bad parents and shouldn't have kids or any contact. But this doesn't mean everyone should be painted with the same brush... Surely something needs to change and everyone should keep addressing this with their MP's so maybe parliament will listen...
Lee 24 May 2019
I have days awarded to me by the court but my ex frequently books holidays on those days, can i refuse to let them go because technically she has no right to regardless of wether it will financially impact her
Nan 18 May 2019
Hi it's me again didn't get ant answers as yet but the mum didn't go for meeting at the access center ( which the sheriff ordered ) what happens now
Snowman 15 May 2019
I have a 15yr old boy who lives with my ex , in our house which I don’t live in anymore , after she locked me out after I found out about her second affair . Soliciters say house has to be sold as we don’t earn enough for either to keep it , so she now has split the house in two and has filled it with lodgers to pay our joint mortgage , i can’t afford to force the sale and she also owns another house which they can both live in if our house was sold , we were never Married . I am trapped as I can’t move on due to my name still being on the mortgage . I.e I can’t rent or buy due to the mortgage company’s stance on not taking my name off .
Hay 14 May 2019
@Nan Think it depends on your circumstances as to how long it takes from court hearing to contact centre. If there has been a long break in contact, the courts could take as long as 12 months to get contact established again. If the break was short then it shouldn’t take too long. Good luck
Hay 14 May 2019
@beck as a mother who’s been in a similar situation I would advise you to go to back to court. They usually act in the child’s best interests especially when mental health and parental alienation is a concern.
beck 10 May 2019
4 years ago my daughter went to live with her father. (there was a contact and residence order in place which stated that she and her brother were supposed to live with me until they are 16) the father brainwashed her into going to live with him so in the end i let her go (she was 15). he then proceeded to work on my son in the same way until last year he did the same thing and left (again with my permission). now here is the but! the father has basically been making my sons life hell and i am concerned for his mental health ( i only discovered this when i was allowed to see him 9 months later, have had 0 contact with him or my daughter in that time), and my son is now desperate to come back. i stated to my son that i was more than willing to come fetch him once his exams were finished (he is still 15 and doing GCSE's). so of course my son went and told this to his father who's response was "not happening, your mine now, i have you till your 21" . what do i do? i know my ex wont willingly let him go and the court order will still be in effect at the end of July (only just my son is 16 in august) how do i go about rescuing him and keep myself out of handcuffs in the process?
Steven 9 May 2019
Hi I have interim residency of my daughter, been through court etc, had her for 6months now and my ex gets to see her Tuesday Thursday Saturday but she’s harassing me all the time had to change my number and she still manages to get it, I’ve met someone else and been together for 5 months now but looking to move in with her but my lawyer is telling me to keep my daughter away from my new partner and I can’t move in with her etc, is this right??
Homeward 8 May 2019
Am here for a bit advise of people whom have gone through this before. Now up to a certain point of this year i was allow to see my child for a very little amount of time where my ex was saying you need build it up where from the point of i have care and done most things for my child when were together. however where i when to mediation she refuse to go a person said we tried with her we happy to sign it off so we can go court. I told her am putting in a court application she banned for me to see my child. my question is will the judge ask why have stopped him seeing his child where there no reasonable excuse what can the judge do?
Nan 6 May 2019
Judge ordered acess to a father to see his child at a acess center How long on average does this take
Nan 6 May 2019
How long after a child hearing in court .doese someone wait to see their child in a access center ( Recquiired by the judge ) This seams to take forever
Morgz77 18 Apr 2019
Hi guys I was wondering if anyone els out there is having the same problem as me? My X tried stopping me seeing my daughter so I took her to court and won. I get to see my daughter now one week Friday to Sunday then the next week Tuesday to Thursday and so on! However the judge said and is in the order that when my daughter is on her holidays from school we MUST both have equal contact regardless of that order! My daughter broke up from school on Friday 12th & doesn’t return till the 30th so 18 days off I said to my X I would collect my daughter Friday as normal but wouldn’t return her till Saturday 20th as that’s 9 days then she can have her for 9 days equally spread out! However she said NO that’s not right because Friday to Sunday are my days anyway so I should have her them days then half of the holiday that’s left basically I get her for 12 days she only gets 6 days? I’ve tried my hardest to explain that regardless of my days her holiday actually started on that Friday and should be kept as the court ordered! I’ve even spoke to the caff caff officer who wrote the order and she said I was correct and she was wrong but yet she still refusing to have her back?? Am I in the wrong here??
Smith 10 Apr 2019
Can anyone tell me if activities such as taking my girls swimming or indoor play area is not suitable for supervised contact as x is saying they are not as we only have 90 mins.
ForLou 17 Mar 2019
@Lou if the activities are something like swimming or extra tuition then you need to weigh up the fact it is a life saving skill or educational that your child should learn/needs and unfortunately things like that are difficult to fit in after school so you have to bite your lip. If it's something like scouts or a sport e.g. football then simply write a one line email to your ex- wife telling her that you will not be taking him to scouts or the sport on the days you have him. Don't go into explanations and don't name call. Then simply tell your son the why you don't agree with him doing something like that in your time together. I should add my partner has had issues Iike with his ex but in our case we are the ones trying to do the educational/life saving skills.
Chris 11 Mar 2019
You win ex you got what you wanted( hide my child) for years put (orders) on me .caused me (anxiety )been made fun off bye my own family (over you) .all I wanted was to meet my daughter .you have (successfully) beating me (congratulations) .but on a brighter note aleast I am not stuck with a (old cheating hag like you )and away from all your false accusations.(i am done) yeah I bet she injoy and thinks this so entertaining I hope you had fun mouding yourself to me .
Chris 11 Mar 2019
@dad39.i am not in the army always wanted (dream )to join (French foreign legion)in my 20s my (education level )held me back didn’t have the (confidence )with that side off things .i am construction worker like Freddy flintstone crush rocks all day .
Dad39 11 Mar 2019
Advice please. Went to court and have a court order which gives me my kids every second weekend, twice weekly phone calls and various school holidays including 3 weeks at summer. My ex is now refusing to let me speak to or see the children as I have "breached the court order" due to me deploying (I am in the Army and the court were fully aware of this) I have now incurred costs for a holidays which she is now not allowing the kids to go to. What can I do?
Chris 11 Mar 2019
My biggest regret in life was not fighting for( full custody) off (my daughter )when I had the (money to fight and win )the (police even said I am right and should have fought her tooth and nail that( gods truth )when I told them about her behaviour and what she did.and the (remarkable thing to me it does not register with her )she thinks that kind off behaviour is acceptable .i can only imagine the upbringing my daughter had .
Chris 11 Mar 2019
@alienated.i know the feeling been frustrated with difficult situations all I wanted was to meet my (daughter )after all these years .and because my stupid ex wanted to get back together and that’s (never) going to happen .you know what made me (laugh inside )all the guys she was cheating with (remarkably strategically )wanted to be (around me again )sum even changed jobs to match mine ha ha .like I said go get her yourself .i only want to meet my (daughter) and not been in a strong financial situation sucks depressing.well it is what is I will try make the most off what I got .
Alienated 11 Mar 2019
Hi does the C79 form apply in Scotland too ? My lawyer told me this is for the English courts.
Lou 8 Feb 2019
I have a son aged 9, I went to court 4 years ago and gained a court order that stipulated I have him after school twice a week and two weekends a month Friday evening until Sunday morning, so Saturday is our only full day together, unfortunately his mother keeps booking things for him to do without my consent for every Saturday and expecting me to never have any plans and take him. We like to do things together like go to cinema and football matches, which she expects us to not do but to do things she sees a a priority for my son. When I disagree my ex starts up the parental alienation by telling my son I am stopping him do things. Is this a breach of the court order? i believe that it’s for my son and I to decide what we do on the weekends we are allocated by the court order?
Geoff 8 Jan 2019
My former partner has breached each and every order set out by the court and they have failed to act on any single one of them 1) contact centre Oct 17 , failure to attend contact centre so returned jan 18 2) court stated no breach on her part, order reset for contact centre 2 hours twice a week which had been reduced from prior order. Failed and refused to attend contact centre. 3) returned to court April where court stated still no breach. Court order set out that I see my daughter 2 hours twice per week which lasted for 3 visits then contact stopped. 4) returned to court yet again no breach and order set as , first 3 visits with my new partner and her ex husband present then 3 hours twice per week my partner only present. First three visits happened however after that all contact stopped. 5) back to court Oct no breach yet again so court ordered over Xmas I see my daughter for several hours which was breached immediately so yet again no contact. 6) due back in court yet again on jan 14th regrading this matter so will keep you posted . Blackpool court do not care about any fathers rights even though I have had to fight for well over a year to only get to see my daughter less than 24 hours in well over a year. , good fathers fight to see their children but Blackpool court believe in mothers rights and no matter what they do not care about fathers. Well like I said will let you know in a few days how jan 14th goes betting on no breach again though
Jamerie Currie 29 Dec 2018
I have a court interim residency order there’s no social workers involved my 7 year old daughter is staying with her father she is crying every night and has said she wants to stay with me her father is very strict and is using her as a pawn in a game she stays with me every second weekend I pick her up from school every day and take her reluctantly bk at 6 pm she is very unhappy staying with her dad she has wrote me a letter stating she wants to stay full time with me is there any law Brocken if I take her and keep her at my house
Ryno 30 Nov 2018
myself and my ex have a court order in place, which my girls stay with me every other weekend, about because i have raised concerns over her new partner drink driving with my children in the car and also whilst under the influence of drugs, she has now stopped contact for this weekend i don't know what to do i've called the police and social services, i'm at my wits end i don't know where i stand.
Breece 24 Nov 2018
I am 22 years old and have recently just become a father, my son is 6 months old and I have barely had contact due to me and my ex partner splitting up during the pregnancy. I have recently been in trouble with the police but over the 6 months since he’s been born I’ve turned it around I’m now working a full time job and am currently in the process of completing my court order as well but my ex partner still refuses to let me see my child, she claims I can see him at Christmas if I keep it up but I feel like if something doesn’t go her way again she’s just gonna pick and choose when I can see him, what do I do?
minnie mouse 123 20 Nov 2018
I was taken to court by my ex husband and was given a court order for which he had visitation rights. approx 4 year ago he took my daughter as i was very poorly but we had an agreement where i had her on weekends till i was better and she could come back home. He moved home and I have recently found out where he is living. I am applying to the court for a breach of order as i feel i am not stronger and a lot better to be able to deal with this. Can anyone advise what i would need to do. I cannot talk with him as he is very abusive physically and verbally. He has also be very abusive to our 18yr old emotionally and physically to the point she left home but could not bring her sister with her.
anotherconcernedfath 20 Nov 2018
My ex wife has relocated to the UK from South Africa. We have a SA Court in place until a mirror order is made in England. We have both received an interim order from the English courts stating until such time as the mirror order is in place we are to do exactly what the South African court stipulates. I am sticking to the what the SA Court order stipulates (like glue), my ex wife has breached the same court order several times. Surely now after receiving an English interim order she is in breach of that to? and what are the ramifications of her breaching these court orders.
Feeling bulied 19 Nov 2018
Can a court ever force mother of children to deliver children to person who has requested contact with children
M. 11 Nov 2018
I lost a legal battle to prevent my ex-wife taking our two young daughters to live in South Asia. She claimed she was starting a business out there, but in fact she moved straight in with a wealthy new boyfriend. We have a contact order that stipulates that she has to being the girls back to the UK at her expense, for the sole purpose of contact, every November, and at another time in the year when mutually agreed. She has played me around for an entire year now, claiming the children would be coming at one date, and then another. She has even accused me of being a terrible father because I've told her that because a fulfil a specialist role within law enforcement, I can't simply drop work at a moment's notice. I couldn't in a normal job, but particularly not in this one. Because she is still refusing to even confirm if she is coming this November (despite the fact that, in the absence of any other arrangement with me, she is obligated to), I haven't been able to book any time off. It has to be arranged well in advance, and now my diary at work is being filled with operations that I can't simply duck out of. My ex is insisting that she has to wait for her boyfriend to get a visa, and she "can't" come until this happens - despite the fact that she and the children are British citizens and the trip to the UK is solely for the purpose of facilitating contact. This has been dangling on for months now. She also suggests that if I can't guarantee that I will have the required 2 weeks off from work to take the girls full time, she won't come at all because she wants to have a holiday with her boyfriend and doesn't intend to take the children in the day if I have to go to work (if I can't book the time off at last minute). I have put my concerns to her in writing. I've warned her that she's breaching the court order. It's made no difference because there aren't enforcement mechanisms between the UK at the country she's in, or at least none that I can afford. Advice is welcome - I'm thinking a solicitor's letter before referring to the courts, but I'm not sure what's best. Any advice would be very welcome.
Gofferd16 5 Nov 2018
Hi Can anyone help I split with my partner and moved to the uk from Ireland we have 2 kids together and my ex is refusing to talk or reply to me can I go through the uk courts to obtain a contact order for my kids or do I have to go through Irish courts ? Or is there a way of starting proceedings from here to the Irish courts ? Any help would be really grateful as it’s really sad seeing them through photos my family get for me ?? Thanks in advance Gofferd16
Darwin is waiting 19 Oct 2018
Justice4dads87.just back to court you sound like a good couple .as for myself I get my justice when my child a adult and there will plenty of time meet and greet .in the mean time just going to get on with my life I am feeling better then ever these days strong mentally and physically I mean What I am going in the home gym now I couldn’t do when in full training as a boxer and I am 37 feeling deadly it’s amazing feeling when you in prime physical condition and as the old saying goes push the body the mind will follow and vice versa .and your worries will disappear and you soon realise that you where only hurting yourself with negative and hateful thoughts about ancient history and once you realise that and let it go doors start to open .
Justice4Dads87 18 Oct 2018
Please can I get some advice on this! My partner has two children with his ex. She has since the day he left her been very hard to deal with not letting him see the kids etc! We went threw Court and got an order for him to see the kids every Sunday 10-5pm! This came to a holt last week as we asked her mother for the contact book. Apparently because we were “aggressive” which we weren’t she has stopped contact! After speaking with the court today we have to fill in another form and pay more money out to go back because she has broke this order!! Will someone please tell me how this is right??? We seem to be fighting a loosing battle and I feel for my partner so much! I don’t. I don’t know what else to do!! Some advice much appreciated
Inac 14 Oct 2018
Hello, Inhave contact order in place with my ex from 7:30pm until 8:30pm every other day on Skype. We are always on time but according yo my ex he can come any time and we have to wait for a full hour if he will come or not. Sometimes he might come online even 8:25 so we end up waiting for 55minutes for nothing. If we are ever late by 5 minutes he is telling us that he will apply to the court for us breaching the order. Can someone advise if it works both ways as my son gets quite upset when he has to wait for a long time.
Mazz 12 Oct 2018
My parents have had a residence order for 9 years I have decided to get my son back my parents have breached the order for 3 years. What will happen to them.
Mum001 11 Sep 2018
My ex has a court order that allows him to see our daughter every fortnight from Saturday 10am until Sunday 6pm. This weekend will be 10 weeks since she last saw him. She has begged me not to send her when he finally get round to having her! Where do I stand as surely 10 weeks is a substantial amount of time for a 5 year old. He has had no contact with her at all not even a phone call.
Distressed mum of 3 3 Sep 2018
We have 3 children and a court order in place that states the children live with me seeing their dad regularly. On September 1st my ex took my son out for lunch and never brought him back. He has now applied to court despite the fact he is the one who breached the court order ! I am preparing to apply for an enforcement of the order. Can my ex choose which child to take to live with him as this is his intention to take our eldest son to live with him! He has brainwashed our son who now says he wishes to live with dad and gives excuses such as his siblings are too little and he needs his own space !
DistressedDad 31 Aug 2018
We have a RO in our name for my two girls and have done for 5 years- they live with me and see the mother for 80% of school hold, and every third weekend. The Mother has now refused to return them home today now the holidays are over. We only heard about this by letter from a Barristet on Bank hol Friday at 5pm. We been divorced for over ten years. (Thats the very very short version).
martin whelan 24 Aug 2018
Hi My ex wife is again taking me to court ,this time its because my 11 year old was on holiday with and I had her passport and decided to take her on holiday to croatia for a week , i didnt tell my ex wife because according to my court order i needed to give three weeks notice but i couldnt do this ,however when my ex wife phoned and asked to speak to my daughter she could and found my our child was having a really good time .is this so bad ? that i have a risk that there may be a cost order ordered against me as she has hired a solicitor to fight me and i cant afford one ?
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Aug 2018
Unfortunately, it would take too long to come to court. A solicitor's letter reminding your ex of her obligations to the order and the warning if she breaches it, also, that you will refer the costs to her if any bookings are lost (and the matter has to go to court as a result of the breach), may do the trick.
nk 17 Aug 2018
I have a Child Arrangement Order for my daughter to stay with me on 1st week of school hols and go on holiday with me on 5th week. Apart from cutting the 1st week short, her mother now is likely to not let her go on holiday with me (indicated by text messages 2 days before departure). I have made all the bookings and paid for the holiday. Should I go to court today for emergency enforcement or wait for the actual breach to occur (and lose all the bookings)? Thanks nk
SeparatedDads Editor 14 Aug 2018
If the child arrangement determines who your child should live with on a day-to-day basis, then this is effectively a residence order. As stated on the gov.uk which‘Child arrangements orders’ replace ‘residence orders’ and ‘contact orders’. If your ex is withholding access for this reason, then she is in breach of the order. A solicitor's letter outlining the terms of the order and that she effectively has a residence order may be suffice for access to be re-instated.
Raz 13 Aug 2018
I have recently got a Child Arrangement Order for my daughter which states I have her every other weekend and school holidays are split down the middle. She wants to apply for Residence Order but I don't understand why she would need one as I feel everything is covered in the Child Arrangement Order. She claims its because she worried I will take away our daughter from her but I feel she has another reason behind it. What would benefit her by having a Residence Order?
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Aug 2018
Yes, as your ex has breached the order then you can refer the matter back to court. A solicitor's letter stating this is what you will do if she doesn't keep to the order may be the best option first in order to encourage your ex to keep to the order. Also, if the matter goes to court it can be used as evidence that you have tried to rectify the matter outside of court first.
Jambo35 8 Aug 2018
I've had a residency order in place for over two years and my ex gets contact that I over see but she isn't keeping to the contact order and the children haven't seen there mum in 3 months and the last two visits where a no show with no reason or reply to why she didn't come in i am waiting to get back to court to cancel the order but can I refuse contact if she decideds she going to turn up this year alone has missed 12 visits out of 15
SeparatedDads Editor 31 Jul 2018
If you have a residence order through the courts, the police can intervene and should be able to return your child to you.
Hailsellie 30 Jul 2018
I have a residence order (after 2014) for my 2 children 11 & 13. My daughter (13) ran away and is now staying at her Dad's he is now refusing me contact. Is there a breach of order? Is there anything I can do? What are can a child say who they want to live with ? Thank you
missy 19 Jul 2018
my ex gained a residence order and child arrangement order where my 9 year old son is living with him term time I see my son every Wednesday from school till 7 pm and fortnightly Friday through to the Monday morning where I drop him back at school since the orders have been put in place he has breached it every Wednesday turned up 10 mins before our son is to be collected and waiting outside my property I also have half of the school holidays times and dates to be agreed state's in the order I have been trying to arrange that contact for this summer holiday since June via letters via his solicitor's he has then waited until july 18th to respond with a book handed to me via our 9 year old son which I do not feel was the best way to go about it as that's putting our son in a position that he should not be in refusing my proposal and dictating what contact I am having even though I refused this proposal in june and proposed something that was more beneficial for our son when I tried to speak to my ex about this I was shot down with I have got to agree to his demands or I do not have any contact with our son now I am scared to collect him tomorrow night from school for my term time contact because technically he school term ends tomorrow and I do not want to breach the court order as well also would it be a breach if I did collect him and then refuse to hand back until my half of the holiday is up
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Jul 2018
A solicitor's letter reminding your ex of the terms of the agreement and the repercussions if the matter has to go back to court may work. This will show the court that you have attempted to rectify the matter out of court. If your ex ignores this, then as stated in the article you would have to refer the matter back to court for breach.
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Jul 2018
A contact order expires when the child in no longer under parental responsibility at aged-18.
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Jul 2018
You can fill in a C4 form which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts, This allows the court to put a trace on your child to allow you to bring the matter to court.
Knowlesy 16 Jul 2018
Does a Contact Order expire at age 16? There is no expiry date on mine. It's not a Child Arrangements Order as it was drawn up before the 2014 change. If I don't see my kid after age 16, what can I do? I'll admit I haven't followed all the recommendations like a seperated parent course I was ordered to go on, and sending stuff in the post and birthday cards. Can it be discharged if my kid wants to do this when he gets to 16? What action can I take? Can I take it back to court when he's 16? My ex has never refused contact and always made sure he comes, but we haven't spoken in over 5 years and I'm not starting now. Cheers.
Baz 16 Jul 2018
Hi there is a court order in place for my little boy I have him every other Friday to Sunday and Sundays the following week it also states he can't be taken away for more than 4 weeks in any 12 months My ex is forever breaking this order and now plans to take him away for 4 weeks in August which includes his birthday again in October and Dec I'm at the end of my tether now any advice would be appreciated
Separateddad 13 Jul 2018
Ok thank you but how do I put that application in if I don't know the mother's address (where my children are residing) and the form asks me for it ? And she also has an injunction out on me .
SeparatedDads Editor 13 Jul 2018
You can refer the matter back to court if your ex has breached the order. Alongside the C79 enforcement order, you would have to fill in a C4 form. This is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts, This will allow the courts to put a trace on your children in order for you to be able to bring the matter back to court.
Concernedfather 13 Jul 2018
Hi i have a court order in place for me to gradually build up contact with my children, the other o my children has an injunction out on me but I am allowed to see my children and I don't know why she has stopped any contact I had with my children. I've sent letters and birthday cards to caffcass in the hope they would send them on (they haven't and they're aware she is breaching an order)...I tried to see if I could sort it out through court but when I rang them they said because I didn't have the other party's address I couldn't put an application for an enforcement of an order but that can't be right surely? I just want to see my kids
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Jul 2018
As in many court orders the terms are ambiguous. Your only option is to refer the matter back to court for the court to decide, if you cannot agree through mediation or between you.
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Jul 2018
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, the three options are to discuss the matter with the other parent and/or child directly and try to resolve her issues, suggest mediation, or refer the matter back to court. As the child is now 13, her opinion will be considered in court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first.
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Jul 2018
Unfortunately, your only option is to refer the matter back to court. If your consent order contained an agreed order for child maintenance, it contains the 12-month rule which means either party can opt out after one year. You haven't said whether your ex is the person claiming child benefit, if she is then she is the parent who can apply for child maintenance. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options.
hine 9 Jul 2018
My partner has a contact order and shared parental rights. He has contact every other weekend and half of school holidays. His daughter has been spoiled at her mothers and now at 13 has decided she does not want to see us or her half brother and sister at the moment. Her reason was that she was worried her mother would not look after herself properly while she was here as her mother is diabetic. We raised this with the mother and the school as a potential welfare concern, asking the school to provide some more information on diabetes as his daughters request. We agreed that we would give her some time to 'sort things out' after discussing this with the mother. After one period of no contact we asked when his daughter would be returning. To be told that she is going through some personal issues at the moment and seeing us would just stress her out. Wee spoke to the mother again who advised it was just 'boyfriend drama' and was all sorted. We tried again but got the same thing, his daughter will not tell us the reason she doesn't want to come. She hasn't said that she does not want to come at all just not at the moment.. It has now been three months. We have informed the mother that contact needs to be reinstated and she has replied that it is up to her daughter. Where do we stand here? Is this a legitimate reason to refuse contact?
The Diplomat 9 Jul 2018
I have a situation to which i haven't seen any other. I gained shared custody for my child through the courts. this is after fighting for two years to prove to every govt organisation that i am a genuine father to my child and i intend on being a part of his life. my ex/separated wife went to the CMS and lied that I am not taking care of my child. I told them that they were wrong and that i don't need their assistance as I am taking care of my child since he was born. I told them i had evidence they said they were only interested in the last three months. to which they still rejected now they have gone into my salary to take monies this is not preventing me from taking care of my child hen he is with me. what should i do now and why is it that the CMS is over-riding the court order to sit their pockets
DD1985 7 Jul 2018
I've been given a contact order which states: During summer holidays each parent shall have 1 full week in july & aug. Other than that contact shall remain as wed 10am -sat 6pm for the non resident parent. I asked to start my holiday week from sat 6pm - following sat 6pm. This would give me wed-sat normal contact & holiday week sat-sat. My ex is trying to say if I start my holidays with my child on a Saturday -saturday i lose my previous weeks contact wed-sat as im not allowed 10 overnights however my ex gets 11 overnights if they start their holiday on a Monday. The solicitor is saying i forfeit my previous weeks contact ...which actually loses me days. No where in the court does it say i need to start my week on a Monday, also i can't be expected to take my child on holiday only on a Monday for the next 12 years. Am i wrong here?? Please enlighten me if i have this wrong. I'm now worried my ex will take my child on holiday & nor agree to mine so i will lose more time. Can i do anything?
monmon27 6 Jul 2018
hi,i am curenntly in mid of court proceedings,my ex was stopped to see children until s7 report and next hearing,he is trying to see kids in school which I have mnaged to prevent until now and now school needs some sort of proof that he cannot see kids.in letter from last hearing is nothing like that in writing but it was obvious so my solicitor didn't included it,now school needs proof and I have nothing,my solicitor is on holiday and I need some advice asap can anyone help?
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Jul 2018
If there is a contact order in place and you cannot agree a re-arrangement of the contact times, then you would have to refer the matter back to court.
Doc 4 Jul 2018
In court i was granted every second weekend though the x mentioned in between 8 weeks she has plans and that it was in my new contact time .note her plans were already planned even though it tied in my old contact time of every friday for 24hours.daughter was going to be flower girl sat so i suggested my daughter stays with me friday and she collects my daughter sat morning .she refused this and started offering me friday at 11am till 7pm knowing i work mon to friday .i suggested thursday at 9am till 3pm friday this was refused .we couldnt get a judge to correct this so she told me if i cant get my daughter friday then i wasnt getting her at all .can she do this and how would this show in court
JoJo 30 Jun 2018
Hi, I live in Northern Ireland and have just been awarded a contact order for my son. It states that both my ex and I can have 1 full week hols in July and 1 full week hols in August with him. The thing is it does not say that the 'one full week' must begin on a Monday, which is the day she is trying to force me to take him from. Can anyone help? Please......
roo shooter 19 Jun 2018
i would like sum advice my x she is very nasty women she withholds my daughter at of spite now i have always paid child support for beautiful little ray of sunshine .now she has just finished high school and going to uni .i was just wondering if you still have to pay at uni she turns 18 on the 3 of sep .your advice please ??.
Roo 19 Jun 2018
My children are older now. My ex has always been very controlling. He uses my children to manipulate me. I have a court order that he has agreed to, stating that he will pay maintenance until the boys finish education. It doesn’t state what level. My youngest son is just finishing secondary school , but has to stay in school until he is 18. The older son is also going to college in september. My ex has stopped paying maintenance as he is spiteful. He is trying to get my son to move out at 15 to live on his own to go to college. Now schooling she is up to 18, can I stop my son from moving out?
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Jun 2018
As stated in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. Therefore, your husband would have to apply to the courts for a variation. Now your husband's son is older, his opinion will count. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
The middle one 16 Jun 2018
My husband and his ex have a son aged 11, will soon be 12. There is a court order in place which states contact every other weekend, Thursday - Monday. This has been the case since he was born as there was never a relationship between the two of them. My step son has expressed continously that he would like to stay with us for a week, every other week. So he alternates the weeks between us and his mother. We are happy to accommodate however his mother will not allow it. She has stated that if we do not comply with the order she will get a bailiff to come and collect him from us. How do we go about getting my step sons wishes listens too? Will we have to go back to court? And if we do will they take notice of his opinion?
Hugga 16 Jun 2018
Hi my husband has a child by his previous partner there was a court order in relation to residents in mothers favor made about 5 years ago however the child is now 15 he messaged her at 10:30pm saying he wasn't going back to hers he wasn't happy there to which she responded "no worries" I contacted police and social services as he is now living with me and dad however she is refusing to give any of his clothing or belongings we've requested his passport for a holiday and she's ignored the request and blocked all means of contact what can we do
SeparatedDads Editor 15 Jun 2018
As stated in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to court. Therefore, if your ex is breaching the order, you can refer the matter back to court. In the first instance, a solicitor's letter reminding your ex of the terms of the order may help. If your ex refuses to comply, then court would be the next option. If your ex says he has new concerns with regards to safeguarding, then the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
Shell 14 Jun 2018
My three children reside with dad there is an court order stating I have contact twice a week however my ex is refusing me contact even phone contact due to my partner having a criminal record from his teens .my ex claims it is he safeguarding can he do thus or should he take it back to the judge with his concerns.is he breaching this order please
SeparatedDads Editor 12 Jun 2018
If you are unhappy with the arrangement of the original court order and you feel circumstances have changed since it was implemented, then you can refer the matter back to court.
Elmo 11 Jun 2018
My ex used to live in asia and when my child was 3 we went to court to arrange a contact order for when my ex was in uk. My ex then underhandedly moved to spain and took me to court to have my child visit him there. For the past 2 years his lived in the uk and another contact order was made for visitation over here. Iv sinced been told his moving back to asia with his wife and new child. He believes that we simply go back to the original court order and whatever bits from the new one he wants to keep will be ok. I dont know if this is true. I was under the impression that once a new contact order was in place the old one would be null n void? My child is nearly 11 now and iv had such a hard time getting him to visit his dad inc violent outbursts from him because he doesnt want to see him and feels lied to by his dad who hasnt informed him of any of the things his doing until the last moment. I would like to know if the old court order still stands and any advice i can get please
Amber 10 Jun 2018
I have a court order in place which states my son will live and reside with me (his mother) and will spend time with his father as agreed by both parents. So there are no exact times or dates or how often on the order. My son currently goes to his dads every other weekend from a thursday to a monday and the week inbetween a thursday night till friday. Recently i have changed it to a friday to a monday as my son goes football training on a thursday night. I did guve dad the option to take him training but he let him down. Because of this he has picked my son up from school and and said he is not bringing him home. He is keeping him and i need to take him back to court. He has done this on numerous occasions since the breakdown of our relationship over 2 years ago. He sends me messages saying if i dont do as he says he will just kidnap him. He will never sign his passport so i can take him on holiday next year ect he is very controlling and it worries me the emotional effect it id having on my son as he is 6 years old and when dad does take hom he doesnt take hkm to school and clearly states to our son he is living with him now and is not going home. He turns up at school when he wants and takes him out of school as he knows school cant stop him a he has pr. Just looking for some advice of how i can stop this happening again. I feel like he is still controlling my life by using my son.
Holtmartin50 8 Jun 2018
I separated from my ex partner a few years ago and ever since she has toyed with my access to my two kids whenever she sees fit. Our relationship was always volatile but never violent. She has a history of heavy drinking and mental health issues. In the last two years social services have been involved twice and an access agreement was put in place with all parties compliant. We agreed on three out of four weekends overnight. Sleeping arrangements were agreed on, everything was in place. Since then social services are no longer involved and my ex partner this year alone has halved my access twice. My son always comes but I have only seen my daughter four times this year. When confronted my ex is very aggressive and unapproachable. I am now out of ideas and just want to see my kids, I pay Csa and do all I can. Is a contact order worth considering?
SeparatedDads Editor 5 Jun 2018
As specified in the article, ' some flexibility may be needed on occasion'. It stands to reason that if your ex's friend is now working an alternative arrangement needs to be put into place. If you agree, the handover should continue as usual.
SeparatedDads Editor 5 Jun 2018
As highlighted in the article; 'some flexibility may be needed on occasion'. However, if your ex is refusing to be flexible and refuses your mum to pick them up, then you would have to make the decision about what the repercusssions may be. If you breach the order and your ex denies you access on your return, then you would have to once again refer the matter back to court.
Gignger 5 Jun 2018
Hi , I have a court order in place the contact agreed at court is rotational weekend access with her friend being present at all times and during collection. My previous partner is now suggesting her father to pick the children up on her weekend as her freind that must be present is working she had advised me she won't be in attendance during her fathers access help needed.
Noel 1 Jun 2018
I have a child arrangement order in place that states my ex must make my children available to spend time with me from 5 til 5 Friday to Sunday every other weekend but before this was put in place I’d booked a holiday but now it means one of those weekends I can’t have my children am I in breach of order if I go? She has known about holiday for months but is now saying I have to collect boys or I’m in breach I’ve also offered an alternative by saying my mum would have them on that weekend
SeparatedDads Editor 31 May 2018
You would have to seek legal advice regarding this matter. Once a court order is in place, then it is difficult for a court to decide to fully change the terms unless you can prove your child is suffering from abuse.
Ad 29 May 2018
I have a court order for my 10 year old son but after years of mental abuse off his mom he now wants to stay with me permanently and I am trying to find out from everywhere how I can get the court order changed as the last thing I want for my son is for him to be forced to go back to his mom
kelly 26 May 2018
hello, i ve 3kids with my ex and we ve cordial relationship and understanding in regards to the kids. so far everything has been going on well but i think is proper to ve a legal backing to our current mutual arrangement. so what can i do to legalize our arrangement?
SeparatedDads Editor 22 May 2018
If there is a contact order in place, the police can get involved to return your child to the primary carer. If you breach the contact order by not handing your child back, this could go against you if the matter is referred back to court. It's never a good idea to take the law into your own hands, especially if social services are investigating you for firearms. If you feel your child is not being properly cared for, then you should refer the matter to court. However, you would have to have evidence to back this up via the school, doctors and social services etc, so you may wish to seek legal advice. I would certainly not make the decision to keep your son without the other parent's consent, as this could certainly backfire on you.
Michael 21 May 2018
I have a son and his mother has sent the police around twice over the weekend and told them I was using firearms in front of my child. This is a very serious allegation and the penalty would be imprisonment. I think she done this presumably because my wife contacted social services due to my sons weight spiralling out of control and he is morbidly obese. We are only concerned about my son but now I am concerned her mental health has hit a major low and I am seriously worried about him being in her care. There is a contact order in place but would I be breaching this if I do not take him home on Sunday and keep care of him until his mum is confirmed as being well enough to look after him?
SeparatedDads Editor 18 May 2018
I'm afraid your only option would be to refer the matter back to court. We cannot anticipate what a court may decide. Much depends on both sides of the story and whether your ex can prove in any way that you breached the order by drinking prior to picking up the kids (if this is the reason your ex prevented you from having them).
crosser 17 May 2018
Good afternoon. I have a court order in place that gives me rights to see my two children at my house over a weekend every 2 weeks. This was as a result of the ex refusing to let me see them for over a year due to financial reasons (she said it was other reasons but this was the reason).When we went to court she claimed allsorts but most of it surrounded alcohol abuse and neglect of the children. This was all disproven in court and the Cafcass report showed me in a very good light and as a result the court agreed to Cafcass recommendations that travel to homes should be shared and overnights should commence. They then refused after to do any travel despite the order. every time I picked the kids up I got abuse from her new partner and threats of violence (I have evidence of this recorded). and one day he shoved a breath test device in my face and said do this or your not seeing the kids. Naturally I refused on numerous grounds. this was now 6 weeks ago and they point blank refuse to let me see them or call the children (they insist I have to supply a phone and sim despite me making the call). I was visited by social services as a result of a small accident to one child and they gave me a clean bill of health and said there were no safeguarding issues but they still refuse for me to see the children unless I take a breath test. I gave written assurance to the court that I would not drink 24 hours before or during any visit and as such have kept to that and don't feel its right being intimidated in this way not to mention I have no idea what the device he had is. I am returning to court to press for breach of order but don't have a solicitor and wonder if you would be able to offer any advice. thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 14 May 2018
If there is a court order in place for your ex to see the children and he is not keeping to the order and/or you wish to change the order, then your only option is to refer the matter back to court. Child maintenance is a different and very separate matter, which CMS can take on board (if you have a family-based arrangement and your children's father is not keeping to it).
Charlotte 11 May 2018
Hi need some help. My ex took me to court a child arrangements order is in place the fourth one, four hearings we have had so he has to have full supervision from me in the community his not allowed unsupervised, over nights ect , the problem I'm having his stopped maintenance payments again , he only has two hours of contact Every two weeks between that he don't call them , doesnt ask how they are doesn't talk to them really when he sees them , not affectionate as well. His not supporting them one bit money wise or emotional wise what can I do, my daughter is scared of him for reasons I can't say she really doesn't want to go my son 5 is just really confused to help!!
SeparatedDads Editor 10 May 2018
If you cannot agree between you, then you have no alternative than to take the matter back to court. As specified in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by 'both' parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. By moving out of the area you have breached the court order (you should have gained permission to move from the area from the courts first). The courts would have then revised the order according to what it thought would be in the best interests of your daughter. Depending on the circumstances, it might have even prevented the move. Or at least made alternative arrangements for drop offs and pick-ups where you both cannot agree.
Laynie 9 May 2018
Hi. Ok. So my ex and I have 50/50 residency of our now 10 year old daughter. We have done since we split when she was 2.5. Over the years we’ve been in and out of court for one reason or another. Mostly by him. I ended up in a dv refuge because of him yet he was still allowed custody of our daughter till August 2019. Anyway. Last time we were in court was because I moved to Hampshire from the midlands and wanted to take our daughter with me for obvious reasons and he got that stopped. I could move but she wasn’t. So she stayed with him. Despite the alcohol rehab stint he’d just completed. Anyway. It was agreed that I get her from school in the midlands and he collect her from my house in Hampshire. He didn’t like that free a while as it took a good few hours in the car for him so I said ok how about we meet half way instead. He agreed. My partner and I along with our two children who have health issues then moved to Yorkshire. It’s the same distance between us just the opposite direction. I said we can still meet half way which he’s done twice. (Both times getting stuck in road works) I’ve spent the past two days being torn to pieces being told he will not be meeting me at the new half way point and that he will meet me half an hour away from his place and I can do the 1 hour 47 Minute trip the other end. I said no. And suggested that if we can’t agree we will go back to the court order. I collect from school. He collects from me. He’s telling me that everyone thinks I’m ludicrous for not asking his permission if it was ok to move so far away again and not move closer to him and that he won’t be sat in traffic any more and that he won’t be coming to Yorkshire to collect her or that I can’t collect her from school. I can collect her from his choice of services or nothing else. He’s told me I’m controlling him but all I want is to get my daughter. He got her to FaceTime me to ask why I wont agree to dads plan???? Which I think is totally wrong. She looked so uncomfortable and kept glancing to the side as if he was right there. I felt so sorry for her. The courts don’t want to see either of us again as we’ve been in and out of court for pretty much all her life. Apparently I was told I wasn’t allowed to move again but it says no where in our contact order that I can’t. I just don’t see why I have to bow down to his rules. I’ve tried to be reasonable again but he just won’t see it that way. Am I being unreasonable. He says that I didn’t ask if he was ok with me moving or going half way the other way and his time in the car is just too much. Do I want him to have a heart attack and him crash at 70 mph with his child in the car???? He has ongoing heart issues now but I can’t control that. He has a full time job but so will I soon. I don’t know what to do. He’s saying that I’ll need to take him back to court which will look bad on me which is what he wants. Help. I’m so stressed again. My other half wants to get involved and tell him to back down but
Boffy 8 May 2018
Not seen my son since 2014 ex partner has brainwashed him against me ,court orders breached twice by ex no punishment issued by court ,caffcass report completed but ex brainwashed son to say he doesnt want to see me gets upset etc ,im a law abiding citizen , courts havent helped me whatsoever its joke , court dates are to far apart causing lack of time with son if contact was ever to resume , i feel im better off taking law into my own hands now because its been so long ?? im representing myself at court as not eligible for legal aid .
milly 5 May 2018
I have started to have contact with my son unsupervised. I took him to a family gathering were his father was present (his father is not allowed to see him yet until his application) my son has residency with his mother. She has proof of this via video facebook. I have court in two weeks I have breeched the order. What will happen now?
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Apr 2018
Much depends on whether the court accepts her application. If you won the court case only last month, it is highly likely the court will refuse the application. Only if there is a change in circumstances or a valid reason will the court accept a new one.
Maz 30 Apr 2018
Hi, Last month my husband and I won a battle against his ex who was hoping to move their daughter to Poland after having lived here for 18years. His daughter is four and we had her every other weekend. The court ordered we can now collect her from school on a Friday and take her to school Monday every other weekend and half all the holidays starting this May. She text us and asked this May half term (bearing in mind the order has only just been made) if she could swap weekends and take her daughter to a communion in Poland and if this year (even though its our turn and court also ordered this) in August she can have her for her birthday because she wants to go to Poland again. We came to an arrangement re August and allowed her to do it this time around but as for May, we refused as the daughter is a bridesmaid for my brothers wedding the same day she wants to take her to Poland. She kept asking and asking and we kept saying no, we simply cannot cancel her being a bridesmaid and not going to the wedding as seating and meals have also been paid for. She’s now told us she is making an application to court again! Can she do this? What are our rights?? We paid over 20k to get this access and lost everything - can she apply every time she doesn’t get her own way??
bjb 24 Apr 2018
Hi, My husbabd has a court order from 2 years ago to state he has parental responsibility and access to his daughter. However a few months after the order was issued his ex stopped contact again. We didnt have the funds to go back to court at the time as the last solicitor had taken all our savings and my husband was made redundant. It has now been over a year since we last saw his daughter as the mother has since moved house and changed all contact information. Can anything be done now or is it too late?
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Apr 2018
If your child arrangement order was issued on or after the 8 December 2008, it will contain a warning notice about the consequences of failing to comply with its requirements. The form to apply for an enforcement of the order through the courts is a C79 form, Before you apply to court, either a letter from yourself or a solicitor to your ex warning that you will take the matter back to court if she doesn't comply with the order might work in ensuring access reinstated. If she ignores this, then apply directly to court.
Kirk 16 Apr 2018
Hello just wondering if anyone has got any advice or been through something simular. I took ny ex partner to court 2-3 years ago as she was stopping access to me seeing my son and i got a contact order put in place were i get him every other weekend and half of every school holidays thst he has. Recently i asked to have him the week leading up to my weekend as i would of spent afew days with him as i work fulltime and dont usually get that much of a opportunity to do so, and she said "no that's too long you can't have him 8 days!". Now she has said its stressing her out to much and stopped me seing him again. I don't know whether i have to take her back through court all over again because i dont know if i just contact the court to say she has breached her contact order. Any help or advice would much be appreciated. Kirk, 25, liverpool.
SeparatedDads Editor 12 Apr 2018
There is no right or wrong here. If the parents cannot agree between themselves, then one or the other would have to refer the matter back to court for the court to decide. As highlighted in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts.
SeparatedDads Editor 12 Apr 2018
In a situation such as this, it may be advisable to refer the matter back to court. Firstly, as specified in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. Your ex is breaching the order by a) moving out of the area without consent of the court or your consent (if you have parental responsibility, she should request your consent), b) not keeping to the terms of the order. If your ex's car is genuinely off the road, there is not much a court can do. However, it may be able to vary the order, so that it takes into consideration your inconvenience and rearrange the order around what works best in the interest of your child. It is on no account advisable to keep your child without the other parent's consent. If you keep your child, then police will be able to intervene and return your child to his resident parent. Plus, it will give your ex extra ammunition to stop access. Your best option is to either request that your ex changes the order to reflect the move and the difficulties you will have - you can do this via mediation. If she refuses, refer the matter back to court. It may actually work out better for you. Keeping a diary of your ex's unwillingness to keep to the order or compromise where you have tried will also help your case.
tb 11 Apr 2018
I have a 9yr old son. I used to see him regularly but sporadically due to his mom.Then it came to a period where i saw him a handful of times in 6 months.We went to court last year and i was awarded a measly 4 hours on a sat and sun every other weekend. Better than nothing right. As soon as we left the court the arrangement was breached by her. I haven't seen him over any half terms or parties which was all agreed. He has not been allowed to get in my car. He has not been allowed to meet anyone i know. Hes lied to me and has been manipulated by her. He doesn't say he loves me anymore either. She now lives with her partner of 5yrs which she only mentioned to me after they had been together for 4yrs and my little boy has never been allowed to meet my ex partner of 4 yrs. So i wonder what did i pay that court money for as not much has changed. In order to get something changed i have to pay 250 again. Knowing how and who she is ill be in court over and over again.I am thinking of applying for a residence order and a more detailed contact plan through the courts as she doesnt want to plan one with me. She has manipulated, lied and deceived since day one. She has pretty much alienated me from his life. even this week trying to arrange half term , i've been asking for last 4 weeks about what's going on over half term, all i get i'll check my diary. Then last night at 11pm i get a message saying she's going to get shoes so i can see him tomorrow but then won't see him on weekend which is when the agreement states i should. Then she says my son doesn't want to see me on both says of weekend.this happens time and time again. I have been keeping a diary for the last year in regards to this. I haven't spoken to my son in almost 2 weeks now. i can keep going but i wont. Is residence order the right thing to do. SHould it be 50 50? I have good schools around me and my work guarantees the flexibility. I don't think living with his mother is good for his mental health.
Trickynicky 11 Apr 2018
I have a 4yr old son with my ex, I have a court order stating I have him every other weekend from 5pm Friday to 6pm Sunday , it states that I pick him up and they fetch back , my ex doesn’t drive so her partner is named as the person who transports. She keeps saying the car is off the road so we have to take him back, now they are moving about 2hr 30 min away and she says I have to do both trips . I have said that’s not what the court order states but she is not willing to comply as says they now have no car and that I need to take her back to court if I don’t like it Where do I stand with this ? What if I refuse to take him back ? I don’t earn high wages the extra expense will be difficult as will the 5hrs Friday and then Sunday . Thanks for any advice
Portside 10 Apr 2018
My Brother has a court order with his ex-partner. Prior to the order being issued she dropped him seeing his child for 3 months. A year later there has only been a few hiccups however my brothers Ex-partner has registered my Nephew for nursery however has registered him for a day she has no contact with him and is now threading my brother, who has agreed to send him however on a different day whilst in his care. So one day would be his care and one hers however she is trying to dictate when he can go and what days. My brother has tried to reason however with no avail, my ex- partner is now threatening to stop my brother having access if he doesn’t do as she tells him. What would be the best cause of action here? Also his ex-partner has been sending messages to our mother which are out of order. What would be the best cause of action? Thank you.
SeparatedDads Editor 5 Apr 2018
As outlined in the article, the only recourse your brother would have is to refer the matter back to court for an enforcement of the order.
Third party 3 Apr 2018
My brother has access to his son every alternate weekend. His ex has moved house hence the child moved school and she has breached the court order on the last 2 access arrangements. She doesn't answer any calls text mages etc so there is no way to amicably sort this out. Surely she cannot do this?
Gemlouoli 28 Mar 2018
I’m wondering if someone can give me advise as to where I stand with my ex, we haven't been to court but it is looking that way, we have set days for contact and these have worked amilicably for a while now until his new gf has appeared now he is giving me and his daughter every excuse to change and cancel contact, and if these changes are not done to his liking I’m getting abusive msg/ voicemails, is there anything I can say or do without going to court as what happening at the moment is becoming a nightmare
SeparatedDads Editor 26 Mar 2018
You would have to refer the matter back to court to see if the court will enforce the order.
Loz 25 Mar 2018
My mum as got a residence order on my son I ended up getting contact at a children's center then it got to were I could have him unsupervised at home it got to were he could sleep over then for some reason my mum stopped contact I would just like to know can I go back to court on the same order as she as broke it I haven't seen my son for 2 and a half year now
CS 19 Mar 2018
hi I have a cao my sons mother has previously broke the court order and stopped all contact I have an enforcement hearing in a couple of weeks she is making false allegations to why she has stopped contact and has no proof to back them up just looking for advice on what to expect
SeparatedDads Editor 26 Feb 2018
The main thing you should always keep in mind, this is about your children, not the arguments between you and your ex. The court has no interests in spats between parents. Keep focussed on what you think is to be in the best interests of your kids and their needs, whilst not being derogatory towards your ex. As specified in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. I'm sure the order will be enforced- as even if what your ex says is true, this would not considered to be a significant reason for a breach, or to have to bring the matter back to court.
Mylo 25 Feb 2018
Hi there, my ex has been breaching a court order since November 2017. I am meant to have a call with my children once per week. I had 3 calls w them after court then she blocked me. I have applied for an enforcement order, this hearing is happening this week. I am a bit concerned as she has sent a letter to my lawyer saying the reason why she stopped the calls was due to my fiancé being on the call and that my fiancé said hello to the children and laughed. This is an absolute lie and she is only saying this as an excuse as in the order I was not allowed to introduce them to my partner for 6 months. Do you think her lie will work in court ? What should I prepare myself with? I just don’t have much faith in the system anymore so any advice would be great thank you.
SeparatedDads Editor 22 Feb 2018
A residence order is a court order that has determined with whom a child is to live. If you have a residence order, then you can take your child away for up to 28 days without having to gain permission from the other parent with PR, unless the order specifies otherwise.
Bdhdhehs 21 Feb 2018
Hi I have a court order that specifies my daughter lives with me and my ex partner sees her for a few hours on a Wednesday and a full day on a Sunday. He does not have her over night. On the direct gov website it states you can take a child away for 28 days if you have an order stating the child lives with you. Do I need permission from my ex partner because he has a few hours on Wednesday and Sunday? Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Feb 2018
As specified in the article, the courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion. We can't advise what you can do regarding this matter. A court will not judge you upon a one off breach. However, if your ex prevents access and refuses to attend mediation, then you would have to apply back to court to have the order enforced, all of which takes time. A solicitor's letter (or personally written and registered letter of which you should keep a copy) to your ex may help to try to put things into context, if you explain that you are making a decision based upon what you think is in the best interests of your children, not trying to renege on an order you have spent time and money on in court.
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Feb 2018
Unfortunately, there is no financial help. You can see more whichwhich explains what happens if you don't turn up in court.
chips88 8 Feb 2018
Hi all, some advice desperately needed please?! I have a child arrangements order that is fairly new and I am due to have my 2 sons this weekend. However, for the last 10 days my son (with my current partner) has been suffering with gastroenteritis (and constant sickness). It appears now that me and my partner have caught this and I am constantly either being sick or on the toilet (as you can imagine, not pleasant). I have informed my ex partner of this (in advance as I am not due to have them until Sunday) to warn her if this continues then I will be unable to have the children but she has replied stating that I will be breaching the order and I have no choice but to have them. I really don't want to end up in court again as a result of this and I have tried to do the right thing by warning her early. Can anyone help me with this? Is this likely to be looked upon badly by the judge? Thanks
Trevor 8 Feb 2018
My son has contact with 5 yr old daughter, arrangements made after very long and expensive court order. Contact not always run smooth because of the mother now she wants to go back to court to make changes to the order. Date has been set for 13 February. My son has not been able to work due to health issues and had an operation on Monday, he wrote and asked the court to postpone the hearing sending proof of the operation and sicknote. The reply was that he has to pay £50 for the judge to read the sicknote or else the hearing will take place without him. He has done nothing wrong, the mother has made various allegations - all unproven and shown to be her lies. He cannot afford to pay anymore money is there any help for him from anywhere?
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Feb 2018
I would ask your solicitor to pen a letter to your ex reminding her of the terms of the order and the implications if she continues to break the order. As outlined in the article 'the courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion.' Therefore, your solicitor should request that the order is reinstated asap.
Kis 6 Feb 2018
Look x the game is up .it’s my sanity that’s at sake .i can’t do anything at the moment honest she would be safe and comfortable but the (own room )thing not at this stage I am working on it trust me I share house with two other men they are good guys I hate to live alone honest hate it it’s lonely .but realise if I want visitation to my daughter I am going to have to make changes I am looking at a two bedroom houses close to my share house mates so I can have my dog so they can feed him when I am away working plus my child can have her own room.just need more time .
deano 6 Feb 2018
hi i currently have a court agreement that has been going okay for tge last 10 months! 2 weeks ago a family member of mine was ill and had shingles.... i could not have my daughter her as she has not had chickpox yet i explained this to my ex partner and she said if i dont have her ill never see her again and she will deal with the punishment at court? All i did was think about my daughters health? Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 5 Feb 2018
Your only recourse, as suggested in the article, is to take the matter back to court if your ex has refused to keep to the court order.
Hair bear 76 3 Feb 2018
Hi I've recently stopped contact with my 7 year olds daughter's dad with concerns over her mental and emotional health after having contact with her father. Her school contacted me who had also noticed the upset that has been a constant since we split up and divorced nearly 4 years ago, they informed me they would be contacting mash ( social services) as it has massively heightened. Although they obviously have not advised me to stop contact I have been told to do what I think is right. My daughter often comes home in tears, has to be taken off me at school, is worried I'll get into trouble, is highly anxious, picks her nails off, is now digging het nails into herself. She is Seeing a senco worker at the school and goes 2-4 times a day with her worries over things that have been said about how she looks, how she eats( left handed eater, he makes her do it right handed), about me and my family. It's not just him but her elder brother who is 14 and her grandmother. Is this going to cause me to be in breach of the order as I have all this evidence from school Social services and home? I believe social worker has spoken to her father but he's not having any of it and as usual is trying to say I'm harming her and sending me aggressive/ threatening emails
Downinthedumps 2 Feb 2018
Hi me and my ex have a contact arrangement made via the courts, I am to have them every other weekend Friday-Sunday, pick them up drop them off, on numerous occasions she's stopped me seeing them, I love over 100 miles away, it was her choice to leave not mine, I havnt been working for about a year now and she's stopping me seeing them because I apparently owe her over £4000, she keeps getting the kids involved in what's going on between us, even stupid comments like our kids should love there sister more ( her child) and not my son (different partner) other wise there traitors to her, I believe she's mentally abusing them, it's alright when she needs help like when I had them for a whole month because she was fleeing her ex and had to go to a refuge, I think what she's put my kids through is discusting I need help
Blue123 30 Jan 2018
I am a dad of 2 boys. eldest is almost 11, youngest is 6. We have a court order (2 1/2 years) and I have shared care, albeit 120 nights with me and rest with their mum.. I have them Fri-Mon every other weekend and each Mon & Wed from school until 6.30 and half of all school hols. My eldest states he wants to live with with me full time. I explained that's not fair on his mum. He says that as soon as he starts high school he will not be returning to his mum and will come to my home every night as he will be independently getting to and from school. I have asked that they both stay over every Monday, in the hope this would appease him, but their mum refused. Our eldest is becoming increasingly angry and was recently violent towards her. Basically, I don't want to be in breach of the order, but at the same time I won't reject our son if he keeps turning up. My boys are well cared for when with me and we have a nice home. I already have to make them leave me by reassuring them I love them and they will soon be back, but eldest is starting to become more resistant and youngest is copying. What will happen to me/him if he does what he says. I don't want to get in trouble but I want our boys to be happy.
SeparatedDads Editor 22 Jan 2018
You have every right to move back to the area, and every right to push for the matter to see your child more frequently. In the first instance, once you move back to the area, you would need to suggest mediation to your ex in order to come to an mutual agreement. The main thing to emphasise is that you will take the matter to court, if court is needed. It is understandable, that you cannot see your child more frequently if you live out of the area. But a court is likely to give you more access if you explain that you have moved back to the area for that specific reason, to be closer to your son, as you feel it is in your son's best interests to have you near by. If you already have a court order in place, then you would have to stick to this, although you would be able to apply directly to court for a variation if circumstances have changed. However, always try to agree via mediation first, as court is always seen as a last resort.
Ookster 21 Jan 2018
Hello. I'm just seeking advice on where I am really. I have a 5 year old who lives with his mum 150 miles away. We split when he was one, I originally lived in the area where he resides until he was nearly 3, but financial difficulty ultimately meant moving while I paid the awful debts I had (she had none, all in my name) following breakup. This has been the situation for nearly 3 years now, with me driving up and getting him once a month and having him for the weekend (longer during holidays). My ex, recently being involved with new partner is clearly seeing me as surplus to requirements now, and has restricted my access to holidays only, claiming that the long drive down tires him out too much and is interfering with his schoolwork. It has been my stated aim to return to the area ever since I moved away, and within about 3 months now I am finally going to be able to make that happen. When I told her this she has told me she doesn't want me living back in the area, with the holiday only restriction following at that point. Clearly I am going to have a fight on my hands to get sensible access when I move back up there (I am willing to accept the holiday only access for the moment, painful as it is, as it won't be long until I move). My question is - is it likely that when I move back into the area, whether it be through mediation, court order or whatever it takes, that I will be able to get the more frequent access that I want, in view of the fact I've lived so far away for so long? I am of course prepared to be sensible about it, I don't want to disrupt his life and just start demanding things, but my son and I have a very good relationship, he wants his dad to live nearby and to see him more, we've always known and talked about it. I am concerned however that my living so far away for so long will affect my chances if she continues to resist (and she will). From financial point of view I have never missed a payment, even during some short unemployed periods, and very frequently give her her money early when she asks. Recently, however, these requests for early payment have been my only bargaining chip when she's been refusing to let me see my son (notable that I never, ever use money as a bargaining chip unless she is asking for early payment or some other thing above and beyond). Thanks for replies.
Mr daddy 18 Jan 2018
My ex is trying to move my son to another town 40 minutes away and change his nursery which will mean I will hardly be in involved in his nursery and early education. I have a court order granting joint custody so can she change his nursery without my permission and what will happen if I refuse permission? Can his original nursery cancel his placement with just one parents permission as she gets the rights for 24u as I work and she doesn't
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Jan 2018
The court can only hold a 'persistent offender' to account. If your ex can explain way her reasons for preventing access, then the court may give her the benefit of the doubt for a couple/few times. However, if your ex is seen to be deliberately and continually flouting the terms of the court order, then a court will impose a fine or, community service, or in extreme cases a prison sentence, even change of residence to the other parent. But, you have to remember, this is not about you or your ex, the court's main concern is the welfare of your child and the court will always balance your child's needs against the level of punishment. The court does take breaches of contact orders seriously. On the other hand, it wishes to see that the other parent has made attempts to try and resolve any breaches and try to work with the other parent, before it will take action. The court needs evidence that the other parent is in blatant disregard of the court, before it will administer punishment. But it will make sure the order is enforced. Any evidence you can give that you have tried and failed to negotiate, will help.
Sad dad 17 Jan 2018
I’ve been back to court on more than one occasion now to enforce a joint custody order for my son my ex partner still refuses to listen to the order and is refusing me contact again. I now have to wait a month to get this back in to court to get that contact back to no doubt be back in the same position again 3 months down the line. Im not sure what I am supposed to do as the courts don’t seem to do anything about this
SeparatedDads Editor 16 Jan 2018
Yes, if circumstances have changed, you can refer the matter back to court for a variation to the order, regardless of whether his address was previously on the order or not. The fact is, if he is moving/has moved, this can be verified in court, otherwise he would be forced to lie under oath. Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply new/additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. It is highly unlikely you would be punished for breaching the order, if your ex has unilaterally attempted to change the terms without mutual discussion and/or agreement.
Ms P 15 Jan 2018
My ex took me to court last year as I was moving an extra 1/2 hr away added on to the usual journey (1hr in total) he tried to prevent us from moving as the journey was too far and he couldn’t afford it. But anyway his requests failed In court as the contact with the children would remain the same. I would drive the children to him on a Friday night and he would drive them back on a Sunday evening (every other weekend). My ex had legal representation and I represented myself. His barrister was very sly in how she worded the court order, she clearly stated my new address in the order but his home address was not stated at all. Now (6months later) he has just told me that he’s moving away which now means 2 1/2hr one way journey (5hr round trip) with only giving me 12 days notice. Now I have work commitments on his contact weekend with the children which means I need to be back for 7.30pm on Friday eves for work and also Sunday afternoons. This job needs to remain the same so I can provide a good life for my children, as he only pays me £35pw for 2 children (no support outside of this maintenance). Which also means I cannot take the children to him on a Friday eve. He states that the order still remains the same and I should be driving the children to him still as his home address is not stated in the order. Is this right? Do I need to fill in a C79 application to get a judge to decide AGAIN what should be done. I can’t communicate with him as he’s very childish and has blocked all communication with me. Any advice would be appreciated.
Webb40 6 Jan 2018
I have a restraining order and cannot get mediation
Anonymous 5 Jan 2018
Hi there. Me an my ex have a court order where he sees our daughter every Sunday for 2 hours then when she is go.foryavlehe is able to take her out e.g McDonalds etc. But since December 2016 he has not shown up at all it's now January 2018 an my daughter still to this day gets upset cause she misses him an thinks it's her fault he doesn't come anymore. Where do I stand now if he was to get back in touch. As when we was in court he only wanted to see her 1 hour a month an got granted 2 hours a week. Even when he used to show up he was never on time an would go weeks with no show an it constantly messes with my daughter's head I feel as her mum Im Not doing everything possible to.protect her. I'd just like to know my options if he decided to get back in touch. As I know he is in breach of the contact order. Any help at all would be appreciated.
Xxxx 19 Dec 2017
I’m asking for a friend his daughters mum and taken their daughter to America to live with her boyfriend that she’s never met and he hasn’t had his court ordered contact since October and fair as we are aware she has no plans on returning to the uk. What can he do?
Taylor 15 Dec 2017
Hi, my son has resided with his father for 3 years now. He's 12. I have a court order giving me contact every two weeks for a temp time to rebuild relationships. Since court I'm repeatedly told by ex that my son doesn't want to speak to me and see me or his siblings and maternal grandparents family. My ex has hit me with £500 pm CM, dropped my surname from my sons name, had him baptised without my knowledge, moved his school again without my consent and now he wants his new wife to adopt my son. Nobody is of any help to me in anyway, unless I can find a lot of money to take him back to court. ive tried voicing my concerns to social services and was rudely told they wouldn't help. My son is a victim of emotional abuse, alienation, and endures vast amounts of poisonous lies about his mum and family on a daily basis. I don't know what to do or who can help. I've suffered breakdowns, job losses, anxieties, depresssion due to contact with my son being denied.
SeparatedDads Editor 7 Dec 2017
If your ex has breached the court order, then you are unlikely to end up in prison (it is very rare that the court orders this). You can refer the matter back to court if you wish to prevent access. Much depends upon whether your ex can justify his reasons for not carrying through with the terms of the order.
P77 7 Dec 2017
Hi and currently filling in the C79 form as ex-partner has decided upon herself in her words "that the court order is not working anymore so your days are not your days anymore". Has anyone had any experience of what will happen once I send the form off? I have all the emails and texts which I will be including and they show no respect for my son, courts or myself. I understand circumstances have changed and am more than willing to to compromise however she does not (although she says she does) talk to me and suggested I take her back t court although there would be no point as the courts would be sympathetic to her. I pointed out that it was not about me or her but about her son. The blatant way she is ignoring and dictating to me what she is going to do and how much time I have with him is the exact reason I went to court in the first place and I am sure that the courts would not grant me less time than I had even before I took her to court as its nearly half now what I managed to get in court. Will the courts side with the mother on this? worried as coming to Christmas and I have not seen my son yet and I am missing out so much now and all I want is her to know that she can't do what she wants anymore.
ConcernedMum 5 Dec 2017
My ex took me to court and it was said he needs to write to our son at least once a month and then if he does he can have a two hour visit in a contact centre. This was in October, he’s written once. He’s now sent me an email telling me he’s setting up the contact, I’ve allied around myself & he’s left it too late again. It’s very unlikely he will get a session in the time scale the court gave. He hasn’t started the parenting course & he failed to start the DVPP course. On 3 court dates he failed to do anything they said & still he got this & again hasn’t done it. How do I go forward? My son is scared & having to tell him things are going to happen & deal with the emotions & fears he has for it not to end up happening it’s getting too much. I don’t know where I stand as I can’t afford legal advice or representation. He was abusive to me in all ways & our son was a witness. Although the courts don’t care for his voice to be heard. ?? what can I do? If he doesn’t set it up am I allowed to say take me back to court or will I end up in prison? I’m too scared to say that but I feel our son needs me to.
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Nov 2017
If your ex is breaching the court order, you have every right to make her stick to the court order. A solicitor's letter reminding her of the terms of the order might work. Otherwise, you may wish to suggest she attends mediation in order to try to resolve the matter outside of court.
dadson1 20 Nov 2017
Can anyone help, i have an order in place for 40/60. Got this last year. M says nearly 14 old son no longer wants contact, stopped a few moths ago, no conget reason given, just stopped. Very odd as had a good relationship with him. Have tried to sort this out with mum who is claiming she has tried everything to help. I want to put in a c79 to have the order enforced. Q. is son not wanting to contact with dad a reasonable excuse for mum breaking order. Thanks
Caljam 14 Nov 2017
I have a 22 month old daughter as the result of a very brief relationship. I agree with her mother to share responsibility and be involved in her life. I explained that no matter what, I would no enter into a relationship with her. As I work away from home, I let her stay at mine for the first 11 months. I ask her to move out when the refurbishment of her house was finished. We had agreed to have a signed family agreement, which she never seemed to find time to write. She wants me to collect my daughter from hers, then when I drop her off remain there until she is bathed and ready for bed. If i do not agree I do not get to see my daughter. It became clear she wants a relationship. If i do not play her games, I do not see the child. I have tried mediation, where the mediator thought it was ok to question my work choices and discuss, what I thought were more about relationship issues. She continually questioned why I wanted a family agreement, saying was the mothers word not good enough. I told her no and that mediation is about the child's best interests, not the relationship needs of the mother. When it became apparent, the child's mother was intending to continue the mediation route and attempt to use it as a relationships therapy session, I told the mediator, that I would not be returning. When I request to see my daughter, the mother puts caveats on it. I generally end up having to buy her more stuff, even though I pay full maintenance for my daughter; or I have to stay around at hers after I drop my daughter off. To give an example of the mother's frame of mind, my daughter still sleeps in a travel cot beside her bed. she has her own room. I want to know what is the best way to proceed. I work 400 mile away from where I live and have ensured I can get home even second weekend. All I wanted was a written family agreement that I could have my daughter from 12 O'clock on a Friday to 12 O'clock on Sunday, every second weekend, with a verbal arrangement for the holiday periods. I'm not sure the best way ahead the child resides ion Scotland?
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Nov 2017
If the order has been enforced (you don't say if it was) and your ex is breaching it again, perhaps a solicitors letter reminding your ex of the terms of the order and the repercussions if she doesn't keep to it, may work. If your ex doesn't keep to it after the letter, then refer the matter back to court once again. A copy of the letter will show that you have attempted to try to resolve the issue outside of court. A penal notice would be served on your ex only as a last resort, but the court can issues a fine etc.
Family man 5 Nov 2017
I got a court order last year that’s not been abided to by mum. Applied back to court to get order enforced (nothing as been stuck to in court order) I see our daughter for 5 mins every Sunday at there front door where my daughter says ‘no’ to coming any where with me. I’m putting everything down to parental alienation. I don’t want mum going prison or anything like that but would a penal notice be right? As this would let her know what would happen if she doesn’t stick with court order? If not then what would be best option?
SeparatedDads Editor 31 Oct 2017
You would have to refer the matter back to court for the court to decide.
SeparatedDads Editor 31 Oct 2017
Much depends upon the age of your partner's son. If he is older, his opinion will be considered. However, it is impossible to predict what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, if the decision is actually down to the son who refuses to come, then a court order might not change this, or there may be added resentment for forcing the child to do something he does not wish to do. In this case, mediation should be considered first in order to explore the reasons why and try to bring about an informal resolution.
Sadfather 29 Oct 2017
I have a court order in place and one a week my daughters stay over , around 4 weeks ago , my 2 daughters came over to sleep and one of my daughters in the night threw a wobbly , I got a little irate and took her downstairs and threatened her to sleep downstairs (an empty threat) The next day my ex wife called the police and told them I had been abusive and made my daughters give a statement to the police that I had been abusive The interview took place last week and there was no further action from the police Since then my ex has continued to not let me see my girls and I haven't seen or talked to them in about a month since that evening. Is my ex breaching the court order because I want To take her to court using the (C79) form to say she is breaching the order would I have a chance of winning? Because I know she wants to take me back to court to vary the court order and I don't want it varied!
Meg 27 Oct 2017
My partner has shared care order on their 2 children. 3 Years have passed by fairly incident free. Three weeks ago the ex said that one of the children did not want to come to ours. There has been no explination exept to say it is nothing to do with her, it's the child's choice not to come to ours. Before the last court hearings, there were incidents where she would keep him off school, so we could not collect him from school, she would get him to phone the cafcass worker to say he did not want to go to his dad's etc. Again this time he has missed school, secondary, and we are worried about his mental health as mum has been open to services herself. His daughter has continued to come to us and her mum's with no issues. Our solicitor has made an application to cout for an enforcement order, how efficient are these? How do we get the son to come to ours if he is saying he does not want to come? when he was with us he is fine, happy and content.
Concerned mam 27 Oct 2017
A court order was put in place a few month ago. Where my daughter sees her dad 2 days a week but has supervision from his parents at all times due to his behaviour. Now since contact my daughter was coming back upset and different. And then she came back saying her dad was kicking off. Meaning shouting, swearing and slamming doors. This has made my daughter very scared and worried more. Now I have been struggling to get her to go to the contact. She refused to go from school and on the weekend. Now my ex dad has told me that my ex has given up and his parents are trying to take over the contact. But my daughter still doesn't even want to see them. What can I do?
james 24 Oct 2017
already attempted mediation, paid the assesment fee. she didnt turn up, went behind my back and got the court agreement order by claiming mental abuse ( no grounds ). saved me money tbf tho as i wanted the court order. from looking i understand i have to rack up the breaches before going back to court. but was unsure weather this classed as a breach as i believe it is and she beleives its not. before court 2 letters was sent to her underlining agreements we had made, 2 days before court she attempted to change my access from 50% to once every 2 weeks. she failed cos her reasons were lies that i proved. and i got 50% in the court order. if she continues to break this and continue to be unreasonable, am i more likely to be given more custody ?( reaiding parent ) as ive had continued 50% or above over the last 3 years
SeparatedDads Editor 24 Oct 2017
As specified in the article, the courts are unlikely to take any action if the breach is insignificant. A solicitor's letter reminding her of the terms of the order may help. Otherwise, there is little you can do in this case, as while the disagreement may not seem insignificant to you, it may be deemed so through the courts. Jot it down, and keep it as a reference, if your ex begins to break the terms of the order, then mediation, or a solicitor's letter would be the next port of call. Court is generally seen as the last resort where the order is breached frequently or where your ex stops you seeing your daughter and ignores the court order altogether. However, any breach should be diarised, so that if needed in the future it can be referenced in court.
james 23 Oct 2017
so i have just been to court and had an agreement order finalised. in the order it states any extra time/ arrangements should be sorted together. so during the school holidays i asked about a time to pick my daughter up and i was told 12:00 ( 4:30pm being in the order ) so i made plans based on this agreement. 2hrs before pick up time it was cancelled because she wanted to go shopping and i was told that its back to 4:30. wasting/costing me money. she is adament this is not a breach of order. yet i believe otherwise. does anybody have the answer ?
SeparatedDads Editor 23 Oct 2017
The courts will still get involved until parental responsibility lasts, when the child is 18.
Kate6421 21 Oct 2017
What is the maximum age a child needs to be before the courts won’t get involved? We are looking at going down this route for my step daughter, but she is nearly 15, does this change what we can do?
scurry 18 Oct 2017
So left partner due to dv, there's a long story in between but gonna get right down to it, we have a court order in place where he has him 3 weekends a month, his girlfriend called me up telling me he's been abusing his kids, and our 15 month old son, throwing him, hitting him, screaming, shouting and swearing, she sent me messages that he sent her, so I know she's not lieing plus she's told social workers and police and I have aswell, there not doing anything, aswell as he wants to take him abroad and live there full time with him, without me even knowing, I have it stating that my son lives with me, I've told my solicitor about all of this and advised me against taking him to contact till he takes me back to court! social workers arnt backing me up, basically do I listen to my solicitor and my gut and not take him and risk losing him (would that happen?) or taking him and risk losing him as his dad is going out of his way to get full custody! what will happen at court if I don't take him?? please tell me what to do because I know he's capable of violence with his children, but no one will take me seriously enough to dour anything! please tell me what to do because my son is my life! I don't want to everify lose him
SeparatedDads Editor 12 Oct 2017
Yes, she is breaching the order. Likewise, if you accept this contact, more importantly so are you.
rich 11 Oct 2017
my ex has a molestation order out on me which states i cant have contact with her and her family. she has been contacting me with this in place, is she breaching the order
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Oct 2017
Regardless of everything that has occurred between you and/or your ex, you would have to still request his permission if he has parental authority. Please see Deed Poll whichIf your ex refuses, you would have to apply to court.
Chants 1 Oct 2017
My sons father isn’t aloud contact with me or his are son due to him putting me through domestic abuse and threatening to kill someone with a knife, since my son was born his father wasn’t even bothered and his excuse was always I’m to young to be a dad I’m no longer with him and was wondering if I can change my sons second name to mine due to everything that has gone on.
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Sep 2017
As specified in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. However, at the same time, the courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Therefore, if a breach occurs, your husband's best option is to request a solicitor sends a letter reminding his ex of her obligation and the repercussions if she continues to act in contempt of court. Then, your husband will have the details logged, should he at any point have to return to court to have the order enforced.
Ginalilly 27 Sep 2017
Need some help. My husband has regular contact every other weekend Friday to Sunday and half the school holidays. There is a court order in place. On occasion due to commitments we request for the weekend to be swapped. This is always dragged out in arguments for months( we give plenty of notice) and finally flat out refused which results in no contact for 4 weeks at a time. Is this a breach of the court order? Also during the summer holidays we had his daughter for three weeks solid, after the three weeks was up and we returned her she then didn’t allow fortnightly contact to resume until she had her for three weeks solid which resulted in 5 weeks without contact!!!! Are these breaches of the court order or will it be seen as a misinterpretation ? His daughter is really suffering and she really loves spending time with us and her stepsister. It’s heartbreaking.
Linzzz58 21 Sep 2017
I would like some advise please my son as a son with is gf who lives with is gramma grandad it's along story of why my grandson lives with them basicly my son was accused constantly by social services of wrong doings which my son wasn't even born with what there accuseing him of every time we kinda sort it it's brought back up in reports and meetingsmy son is 22 years old and the person there accusing him of abusing is 30 years old social services decided to do a CBR check which later my son found out that the social services had cancelled is CBR check which they are reneging that they have cancelled it but CBR are telling my son different my son went to court the judge gave my son contact twice a week but my sons gf family have broken the order he hasn't seen is son in 8 months well to cut the story short my son got is contact back which was today 20/09/17 and out the blue my son got told yesterday he wasn't having contact due to is son being ill my son received a email from the contact centre stating refused to take is son to contact to see is father my son is slowly braking down it's given him health problems depression ect I just don't understand my son traveled 2 times sweet by train to see is son have you any advise please before anything happens to my son he desbrutly needs help and advise please
SeparatedDads Editor 19 Sep 2017
As specified in the article, the courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion. Therefore, in the first instance you should try mediation in order to resolve the issues regarding the breaches and if mediation doesn't work, then you may have to apply to court to have the order enforced.
Pauly 18 Sep 2017
I have a court order and every other weekend when I don't have him I can FaceTime him. My ex tells me when I can call and I always call at that time, however she's started playing games and having my son out at this time, usually 6:30pm on a Sunday. He's only 4 and can't handle more things going on around him while on the phone to me and gets worked up and upset, I've sent her 2 solicitors letters asking her to ensure Rhys is at home and ready for the call at the times she states but it's clearly her intention to ruin the experience for both me and him. On the last occasion I hung up and called back when she said he'd be back at home (7:15pm) when she eventually answered it was 7:30pm on a Sunday and he was in the car (not in bed ready for his second week at school) she was also holding the phone up to him while driving and it was very upsetting for me to experience and when I questioned her over it she hung up. Do I go back to court, will they actually do anything? a month ago I had her new boyfriend assaulting me, and my partner called the police because I wouldn't tell them where we were staying for the weekend, I wouldn't tell her because of situations in the past where she has pretended to be my partner and said my son is in danger leading to the police turning up at her mums. She also goes away for weekends and doesn't tell me where she's going. she also refused to sign the court order because it stated 'we tell each other where we are going on holiday' until that sentence was removed because she won't tell me where she's going, but holds him hostage inside the house with her partner swinging punches outside until the police arrive and force her to hand him over. It's getting to the point of being unbarable and I just want someone to tell her it's not okay before someone ends up getting hurt over her bitterness.
SeparatedDads Editor 11 Sep 2017
Unfortunately, he would have to refer the matter back to court to have the order enforced. The court can in some circumstances also order his ex to return with the children. If he cannot currently find his children, he would have to also fill in a C4 form which is an application for the disclosure of a child's whereabouts. This will allow the court to put a trace on his children so he can bring the matter to court. He can self-litigate if he can't afford the legal fees.
Asset 9 Sep 2017
My son's expartner has recently breeched a court order by moving home ,changing the children's school and not informing him.He has no idea where they are and is unsure if he needs to know before he goes back to family court . Will the court do a search on his behalf to enforce the court order. He did have joint custody,sharing weekends and three days mid week. He doesn't want to waste any more money by going back to court and them being unable to find his children. He is obviously desperate to see them. Is there anything else he can do?
Jennie 31 Aug 2017
I have a court order that states I have to take my child to Weymouth on Saturday but my car has broken down and I have no other way of getting there. It means I'll be breaking the court order what shall I do.
SeparatedDads Editor 29 Aug 2017
If you have parental responsibility and you have a court order in place to see your child, your ex cannot move out of the area without your consent. If you refuse to give your consent, your ex would have to refer the matter back to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
Jd 27 Aug 2017
My ex is moving to hull in live in london . We made a court arrangement i have my daughter sun to wed she wed to sat. But now going to hull i cannot have her. I work weekend.
Helpless 14 Aug 2017
My son has his children there is a court order .the mum only have contact 1 night after school and every other Saturday and 2 days a week in the holidays he allowed her to have them for a week now she is not letting him have them back where do he stand ( the social services took it to court and took them off her this was in September 2017
Carlin 12 Aug 2017
Hi my ex is due to have children for 3 weeks of summer holidays but has now got a job and can't have them. Children would have to go to childcare as I also work. He is refusing to pay for the childcare during the 3 weeks that he should be having them. Court ordered. Where do I stand and what should I do?
Billc72 7 Aug 2017
I have a court order for my two youngest children which I've had for 4 years. My youngest son, aged 11 didn't come last week wher my ex said" he's upset with you for not coming to his leavers assembly so doesn't want to come" . He was fine on the day and knew I had been called into work, as my new partner dropped him off at school. This was totally out the blue and didn't know what to say at the time. I've gone toda to pick my children up from their mothers and again, my little boy wouldn't come. I insisted he told me himself and said he was upset as apparently I joked about not going. Also, he was upset that I'd laughed at him when we were playing archery in the garden! He refused to come and stayed with his elder sister- conveniently the ex had "nipped out" My eldest daughter -15 nearly 16 fell out with me because she hates my partner and I refused to go on holiday without her and her daughter and in turn am not taking my s all stems from their mother, it's been 5 years since we split and I'm still getting crap through the kids. My elDest is convinced I have a criminal record as her mum told her I have. The ex falsely accused me of assault and even put my then 10 yo daughter on the stand in evidence. I was exonerated in court as I had mobile phone recordings of her actually attacking me. But guess what, nothing happened to her. Nothing, nada. So much for perjury. I have Cafcass reports showing the children are being corrupted by the mother yet still nothing gets done. I'm at a loss what to do. In one hand, if my son doesn't want to come, I don't want to force him. Yet at the same time, he's 11, and an immature one at that. The mother is just doing her usual smirking away. What gets me is 6 months ago, my eldest was begging to live with me, she hated her mum. I talked her round and won't let the kids play me off against their mother. Yet it never ever goes the other way. She a typical hard done by single mum. She's on £50k a year plus £475 a month off me as I have a 5in 14 night order plus half the time in holidays. Never spends nothing on them, takes them on holiday with the grandparents as they pay to the lakes or wales. Me, despite being knackered financially, provide clothing (full wardrobes at mine) take them on foreign holidays Etc because my kids are everything. It's mugging here who bought them all iPads, laptops yet no matter what I do, the ex still slags me off to them. I'm really stuck what to do. What to I do with regards my youngest not coming? How do I pursue the court order not being followed? What do I do to stop the constant twisting of my kids by the ex? I really am at the stage now where I'm going to just give up and walk away. Why pay rent on a four bed home when me and my new partner could make do with a 2 bed? If I could have my time back, I'd have walked away, changed phone numbers and never contacted any of them again. Just cough up the maintenance and start afresh.thats the advice I g
Phoenix 28 Jul 2017
Should add as it maybe relevant I reside in Scotland. I know Scots law maybe different from rest of uk
SeparatedDads Editor 24 Jul 2017
In this case I suggest you seek legal advice about taking the matter further and/or back to court to seek regular contact. Dependent upon the circumstances, the fact your ex deceived you for this length of time and breached the court order will not go down well if the matter goes to court.
Bobby 21 Jul 2017
Hello, I had a contact order as my ex-partner was given permission to leave the uk in 2009. Not long after, I asked to see my child before they left; this was denied as they claimed that it would be detrimental to our child as their departure was imminent. I have now learned that they never left the UK and have since had another child. What can I do?
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Jun 2017
It is likely all the information given here will be taken into consideration by the court and a new issue ordered. While there has been a breach, the fact circumstances have changed over the last few years will also be taken into consideration, as will your concern with regards to his wife and her relationship with your child. It is unlikely you will be punished for the breach.
Angel 29 Jun 2017
As i am a were there is no legal aid but how do i go about on the breaching court order side off things . As i said before i am ment to have my daughter for one tea time contacted one day week and dont get it ive never had it plus every other weekend shared i also get no school information and no medical information and not the correct contacted as my daughter who is aged 11 reached school age my contacted was ment to be increased and my exs wont increase it he takes time off me .school holidays are ment to be shared but i get 1 to 2 weeks thats it .. i can never take her on holidays ive had to cancel day trips due my exs saying no he is very controlling towards every thing he never alows her to attend her own cousins birthday partys and not even her own half sisters .. all he dose is acuse me off false allegations i dont get no parental responsibility even i do have it and know say in his actions and when my daughter asks for extra contacted to see me i just say to her ask ur dad .. contacted is ment to be one day a week tea time .. every other weekend and school holidays 50/50 Christmas and birthdays alternate but it all gets changed and days taken off via my exs it not fair on any off us ..
Angel 29 Jun 2017
Hi i am ment to be haveing regular contacted with my 11 yr old daughter and my exs takes contacted off me its ment to be one day a week tea time contacted and ive never had that in my life with her . And its ment to birthdays and Christmas alternative and plus every other weekend eatch order says as our daughter reached school age my contacted should be increased but my exs never increase,s it ie school holidays i get 1 to 2 weeks that's all he wont allow her to go to none off my familys birthday partys ie her cousins and he won't let her attend her own half sisters either so far ive lost out on loads on loads off day trips ive had to cancel due him saying no and my daughter asks me why she can not see me when she asks her dad for extra contacted time with me i just sometimes dont know what to say i just say ask ur dad .. and give her hug.
Issue with ex's new 28 Jun 2017
I am being taken back to court because I have apparently hbreached the court order allow my ex to see our daughter . This order was made 6 years ago BUT he moved abroad 4 years ago so it hasn't been in force . He recently returned back to the uk with his other child following major issues with the wife , she was drinking uncontrollably and he took the child without his permission out of the country . I allowed him to have regular contact with our child when he returned but after a few months the wife joined him and i suspended contact . This was after me saying I didn't want the wife around my child and him ignoring my request twice . This is not the first issues the wife has had , she had her first 3 children removed and later adopted because she was having issues with drink, drugs and was in an abusive relationship. This was several years before she married my ex. The original order states the wife is not to be left alone with my daughter but after having such major issues involving police and their child being put at risk. I have said he can see her but without the wife . Where do I stand legally ?
Will 8 Jun 2017
I have a court order in place to see my children every other weekend from Friday to Monday(School to school). My ex wife has deceitfully decided that she will only allow me to collect them at 5pm Saturday to 7pm Sunday. She has done this to claim more money through the child maintenance service and despite me showing them a copy of the court order and proving that she has lied to them saying that I had agreed to this new change, they have ruled in favour! This has meant that child maintenance has increased so much that I have to move out my home as I can't afford to live in it. As I can't afford to pay the 40% of my wages that CMS now insists I have to pay, my ex has not let me see my children for almost seven weeks now despite the court order. I can't afford a solicitor to go back to court!
James 6 Jun 2017
What does it mean when social workers say the main residence should be with the mother because she is in the family home still where the child has lived for 4 years? Is there a difference between shared/joint care and shared/joint custody? Who has parental responsibility for the child if it is joint care/ custody? If half the state benefits go to each parent does one parent claim them then give half to the other parent or can you both claim half from the government so you actually get it? James
kidsnotweapons 3 Jun 2017
We have a family arrangements order & i have contact . but resident mother is making variations & breaches to the order so that I'm losing loads of time . On one occasion she took my son out of school for a week to go abroad- on the week I'm supposed to have him 4 nights . The summer holidays are approaching & we are suppised to have half each in alternate weeks . I'm terrified she plans to breach the order then as its the time of year i have contact most . I an fed up with the biased court we have been using & am thinking of applying to the high court for enforcement & variation to simplify the order to a shared custody 3 days on 3 days off regardless of time of year except summer & Christmas holidays . Question is , which forms do i need to enforce compliance , request a variation & what options do the court have to ensure she obeys the order? And is the high court a realistic option ? I am unrepresented & feel the high court won't be able to do anything before the summer holidays . I am falling sick due to the stress & worry . Pls help me
SeparatedDads Editor 31 May 2017
You may wish to ask a solicitor to write a letter reiterating the terms of the agreement and the repercussions if your ex and her MGP's breach those terms. It will at least be a sharp reminder and can be used as evidence that you have attempted to try to resolve the situation out of court, if you need at any point to take the situation back to court to have the order enforced.
Selwyn 30 May 2017
I have a Residence Order in my favour of my daughter. Residence was awarded to me due to drink and drug abuse by my ex-partner (my daughter's mother). The order provides for all contact between my daughter and her mother to be supervised by nominated members of her family. There is also contact provided for the Maternal grandparents (MGP) at which the mother may also be present, but only if agreed between the MGPs and me. Recently, this additional contact took place without my approval and my daughter also told me that there had been unsupervised contact on more than one occasion. I know they will just deny it if I write to them (they all lie like other people breathe and they lied throughout the court process) but my daughter is almost 8, so she's unlikely to have got it wrong. I feel helpless that once a Court Order is issued, you're on your own and there is no one to Police it.
Tj 26 May 2017
I have a Cao for the last few year. Due to some issues with my ex the social services had to step in. They interviewed our kids and the out come was that they wanted full shared Care... This only means an increase of one day more at my house over the repeat two week agreed care. The ex is refusing to comply with the social services report. Do I need to fill in a new Cao or is it a specific issue order? Or is it a c2 form Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 25 May 2017
Mediation should still be the first port of call if you cannot agree on an issue or if the breach is insignificant (your ex gave you plenty of notice). If you stop contact altogether, you too will be in breach of the order and as that is an 'intentional' and 'significant' breach. If you stop contact and you will not consider mediation in order to try to resolve the issue, your ex will have the option to take the matter to back to court.
wm 24 May 2017
A court order was givin to allow my ex to see his child. He told me weeks ago that he couldnt get her on a certain day but was never agreed that this would be ok. Said he was doing one thing and done somthing totallay different basicailly lied...is this a breach on his behalf? Can i stop contact?
SeparatedDads Editor 22 May 2017
As specified in the article, the courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion. However, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. If your partner's ex continues to breach the order, in the first instance a letter from his solicitor reminding her of the terms of the order and the repercussions if she continues to breach it, may do the trick. If not, your partner would have to apply to the courts to have the order enforced. It is worthwhile him keeping a diary of all the breaches for evidence should the matter have to go to court.
Rose 21 May 2017
My partner has a court order to see his daughter two days a week and one weekend every month... it's very relaxed, unfortunately... this is not working at all! The mother is constantly bad mouthing the child's father to her and infront of her to which she understands (at 3) and repeats to us, is claiming her new partner is her replacement dad and would be confused if they were both in the playground (children foto same school), she constantly stops him from seeing his daughter and sending upsetting, horrible and hundreds of texts to which is taking its toll on the both of us, he just wants to see his daughter like any father and desperate to make up for the lost time, love and memories... HELP! What do we do next?
SeparatedDads Editor 19 May 2017
If your ex does this, you may wish to ask a solicitor to write her a letter reminding her of the terms of the order and that no parent involved can unilaterally change the order.
Bill 19 May 2017
I have a court order for contact which my ex breaches on a regular basis but what she does is get children to phone me to say 'Mummy says we can't see you for a while' This is emotional abuse and very upsetting for the children. It's high time police were given powers to give out penalty fines of £100 to breaching parents then we Dads wouldn't have to go back to Court.
kimbo 16 May 2017
It was decided in court my daughter would live with her maternal grandma a couple of week ago. Me and father was in court last week for contact and I have found out father has been going to his mums to stay there as he split from his partner don't know what to do. It was agreed contact 2 hours a week for 4 weeks then go from there. I have informed social services but not heard anything back.
Todd 12 May 2017
I have a son in England, I live in Canada and am a Canadian. My sons mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2012 before I could move them to Canada. When she finally told me to come get my son as she could not look after him I travelled to get him, but in the few days it took to travel her parents had taken my son. We went to court, and I have a custody arrangement that when I am there in April for Easter I have custody of him. I did not travel there this Easter as I was injured at work and am facing surgery to my dominant hand. The custody order states the grandparents have to bring my son to Canada for two weeks this summer, three weeks next summer, and a month in 2019. I have Skype visits each week and this is going well. I was in contact with his grandfather about when he had planned to bring my son to Canada so I could book time off. Things were going well, and just recently the grandparents told me that they would not be bringing him to Canada because I did not travel at Easter, although the court order does not state I have to. They further went on to tell me that if I come to England I can only have my son for one week like I would have in April.
SeparatedDads Editor 2 May 2017
If there has been a breach in the contact order, and you are not seeing your child at all on the specified days, then as stated in the article you would have to either try to resolve the matter directly with your ex and if she refuses apply to take the matter back to court to have the order enforced.
Dazza 1 May 2017
I have a contact order to see my 13yr old. A mobile was provided by me so we can chat/text. We have been meeting up every other weekend and all was going well. She decided she wanted to meet my fiancée and her children. This was 3 weeks ago. I have barely heard anything and I know that my ex wife is the type of person to be controlling the mobile phone. My texts every morning and evening go unanswered. What can I do? Until I hear from my daughter that she is the one that doesn't want to see me, does this then constitute as my ex wife interfering?
Sal Smith 26 Apr 2017
I currently live 200 miles from my ex and my 6 year old kid has to travel every 3 weeks which is an insane amount of travelling. I my look into moving 100 miles from my ex, but the court order states i have to get their permission ... which i know theyll refuse and go for custody on the basis that if little one is being moved then might as well move kid to their house. So if i was just to up and move 100 miles closer what would the likely outcome be for breaking the court order?
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Apr 2017
If your ex has parental responsibility, he is allowed to make decisions regarding the day-to-day welfare of your children, just as you are. However, if your ex is leaving your children with someone else who does not have parental responsibility, and you feel unhappy with the situation and feel your ex has breached the court order, you can step in and request your children are returned to you for the duration and/or until the situation can be resolved.
KT 17 Apr 2017
I have a shared care order an was wondering if the dad is at work is he aloud to leave the children with someone else for a week? When he asked the court to have them for a week?
Chrispy 24 Mar 2017
I have a contact order to see my son regularly, but my ex unilaterally changes this regularly as it suits "child". Both me and ex have had issues with child's attitude, (angry,aggressive). He "brokedown" and admitted that he asks to see me and mother says no, and doesn't understand why mother is the way she is. I managed to persuade mother to get him to docs and doctor referred him for councilling. After councilling, councillor said he was a lovely boy, which he told me, he then became angry and asked why did I send him to councilling. I told him I didn't, the doctor referred you. He said yes but I referred him to docs. I told him that it was both mother and myself who thought he might benefit. He told me mother said it was all my idea. I then explained I thought he would benefit after what he told me after after his "breakdown". He then denied breakdown and all he said. Ever since then I have had issues with mother and child, to the point that contact order has been broken and child very rarely answers calls or texts and won't let me know what is wrong. I have given up trying to talk to mother as she dismissive and disagrees with what I say about child's attitude and upbringing. Is it worth taking her to court as she has broken court order? Is it worth putting my son through this. His mother is controlling and manipulative, but she'll always be his mother. Any help/advice would be most appreciated.
missing3 17 Mar 2017
I am new to this and wondering what to do. I have been separated from my ex spouse for almost 8 years, when we separated we had a court order in place that I get to take my children every other weekend. Everything was going great until one weekend when a storm hhit I was unable to travel with my children to take them home. My ex called the cop's and my children were picked up. My ex accused me of making this a traumatic experience for the kids and did not want me to see them anymore. I lost track of them for almost 7 years and just found out that my ex remarried and has moved back. I tried to contact them but have been told the children no longer remember me and to just let it drop. They are happy and no longer need me in their lives. What should I do?
SeparatedDads Editor 15 Mar 2017
If you do not wish to live with your mother and you wish to live with your other parent, your other parent would have to take the matter to court in order to ask the court's permission.
Onlinebeaver 15 Mar 2017
I don't want to live with my mum anymore I'm 14 but there's a court order in place I think would rather commit suicide than stay with her
SeparatedDads Editor 14 Mar 2017
One way around this, is to ask a solicitor to write a letter to your ex specifying that you have proof your ex is in breach of the court order and if she does not stick to the terms, you will take the matter back to court. As a rule, a court will wish to see that you have attempted to make every effort to try to resolve the issue before you apply to have the order enforced. You may also wish to seek some legal advice in order to explore your options - as a solicitor may advise you take a different approach. On another matter, if you are concerned about your son's welfare and you have genuine safeguarding issues, you may wish to seek advice from Social Services who may be able to advise you also. Unfortunately, this may not answer your question here, but there are different ways to approach this issue and much depends upon the level of seriousness of the breach.
dandleh1 13 Mar 2017
Hi there, i am rather new to this website, i just need a bit of information about my ex breaking the court order. I have 50% custody of my son, i have him every other week (Fri-Fri), the mother has to reside at her mothers when she has my son on her days, as she was unfit to live by herself with my son, this is stated in the court order. Now i have found out (Hard Proof) that she is now not staying at her mothers, but at a new house with her partner which he brought last year, i have pictures of them staying there, plus my son tells me he doesn't stay at his Nan's anymore but he stay's at mummys new house... the problem is he is only 4 years old, so his word in court is not taken. I know it may seem like i am not letting her move on with life, but my son has come back each time saying he has not had dinner and also that his mom and partner smoke in the house with him there, he comes back with an awful cough and bad tummy every time, i am more worried that my son will suffer more. What i need to know is what counts as proof that she is living there, i have photos of her car there every night when she has my son (at his bed time 7pm), the only thing is what if she tells the court that she just visits each night (even though thats a lie)? Thank you for reading and any advice would be brilliant.
Lp07 17 Feb 2017
My step-daughter is allegedly refusing to have contact with us (according to her mother- mother wont even allow us to speak to her over phone to confirm this) Bit of background: step-daughter is 8 years old, has had social services involvement 4 times and my husband has had to endure 2 court cases (not cheap) and looks like we are on to our 3rd. Basically, when things fall apart on mothers side, we are penalised and allegations are thrown our way (always unfounded- in fact social services are yet to humour these as they have seen hope in our home on numerous occasions always noting the positive relationships between her siblings and both me and my husband). According to her mother, my step daughter is alleging that my husband threatened to hit her and is too scared and upset to have contact. Please note this coincides with another break-up between mother and her most recent partner. Anyway, mother she has spoken to social services and they have no concerns so have directed her to citizens advice. Mother has breached the court order by refusing the weekend contact as she claims to be 'safeguarding' her daughter. Has there been many success stories re fathers regaining contact? We both work hard, have two other children, have a mortgage to pay etc. Is it worth us spending money to fight. Will mother get help towards legal fees through legal aid, as dont think she could afford the £190 per hour we are going to have to pay? We are stuck in limbo at the moment and just need some help/ if possible reassurance
Claude 15 Feb 2017
I have been in and out of the courts for the past 3 years getting access to my kids from, but constantly being accused of verbally and even physically abusing my kids. I haven't done any of this but just her accusations trigger CAFCASS and Social Services to intervene regardless of the fact that these are all just her lies. We split up because I stopped taking the control she had on me, but all of a sudden she has started a Facebook page called "True Soul Survivors". She has even persuaded a friend of hers who is a DJ on the local BBC radio station to let her do a piece last Friday morning, on which she says how I was an an abuser and a controller in our marriage, which couldn't be further from the truth. She has been clever enough not to mention names, so I don't think I have any recourse. I am at the end of my wits and have serious contemplated leaving this world. I know that sounds over the top but I don't know where to turn and am scared that people will believe her. She is so convincing though. She has just stopped me from seeing the kids unless I am supervised. All this was triggered by me refusing to answer her calls, because she keeps verbally abusing me on the calls and I doin't need to hear that S***. It's also driven by the fact that the CMS have reduced her money by £100 a month because I have the kids for 2 nights every fortnight. I think she is Bi Polar because out of the blue this morning she called and asked me if I would like to take my son to a swimming Gala in 3 weeks, as she was unable to. When I responded with "but I thought you said I was to see them under supervision", her answer was " you will be in the car and there will be plenty of people at the Gala". Suffice to say, I told her I wasn't going to be her babysitter/taxi just when she feels it's ok. The system does not seem to take on board the ridiculousness of her actions. All it does is encourage her to keep the control and abuse up. I don't know whether anyone can advise me, but as far as I am aware the CMS will up her money even though she is in breach of the court order, by stopping me seeing the kids. If I were even remotely what she is accusing me of, I would shut my mouth and take my dues, but I am not and I am fed up with her constant prodding a poking. There has to be a law that can stop it, surely
SeparatedDads Editor 3 Feb 2017
I think in this instance a letter from your solicitor requesting the court order is re-instated should be suffice. However, if your ex still refuses to allow you to have access, you may wish to take the matter back to court to attempt to have the order enforced - especially now your child has expressed a wish to see you. If you can justify your lapse on the basis you have explained, there shouldn't be an issue. Plus, your son is now old enough for his own personal opinion/preference to be considered in court.
Billious 2 Feb 2017
I took my ex to court to enable me to see my children I won a contact order but I still never saw them as she just refused to let me. I didn't take her back to court as she breached the order because I couldn't afford it and she just poisoned there mind so they didn't want to see me. I didn't want to make matters worse and force them to see me if they didn't want to.. It's been 5 years now and my eldest son is 14 and has contacted me and wants to have a relationship with me. Has that order expired or can I use it?
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Feb 2017
She can, but she will be in breach of the order and as specified in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. Therefore, I can only suggest you ask a solicitor to write a letter to your ex outlining the terms of the court order and the repercussions she faces if she attempts to continue the breach. Hopefully, this will resolve the issue without having to take the matter back to court.
RKW 2 Feb 2017
I have a contact order with regards to my daughter that has worked perfectly for the past 4 years. My current partner (who is disabled & cant just go outside) smokes in a separate room & never around my daughter. Now all of a sudden my daughters mother is refusing to let my daughter stay in my house "around the smoke" so is breaching our contact order claiming she is doing it for my child's health. I find this especially hypocritical as my daughters mother also smokes, she is also pregnant and continues to smoke. My daughters mother says she isn't stopping my contact but insists on me keeping her away from my house & taking her out "in the community", there is nothing in the contact order saying I can't take her to my house. Can she stop me?
Kaos1 28 Jan 2017
Hi I was seeing 3 of my five children three nights a week (the other two are older and would rather play with there friends) of which I did not mind, I'd collect them after I finished work on a weds and drop them back on a Thursday morning, then I would collect them on a saturday when I finished work and have them until Monday morning and drop them back before school. This would happen twice a month, then from the Sunday till the monday the other two weeks of the month. This was all goin good I gave her money each weekend when I collected them and she was happy for them to meet and stay with my new partner on Saturday night as I worked the door, up until my new partner became pregnant! she stopped all contact for me, saying some nasty things about our new child, she had police at my door sayin I said threatening things to her and was unproven by the police. She got a non molestation order off the back of that and said a lot of untrue things of which I could not disprove as I didn't have the £5000 solicitors fees and she got her for free claiming domestic violence! (unproven) so I went to court and said I'm not bothered about the molestation order as I didn't want to be around her, it's my kids I want to see and they kept the non molestation order in place and my ex said no to direct or indirect access. so it's now a yr on I have seen one of my kids in the street a couple of times and sat a talked played with him for an hour I have been to mediation of which she ignored along with my messages and letters for amicable discussion and time for me to see my kids I have made an application to the courts at a cost of £215 of which I have not got! And just wanted a bit of advice on where I go from here I can't afford a solicitor and she gets hers for free on the back of some wild allegations that have never been proven so I'm guilty until I prove myself innocent! I thought it was the other way round in this country. Please a little advice
steery 26 Jan 2017
Hi I am a grandmother who had my grandchild from 6 months old for 2/4 days and nights a week, but when they split up, my son had them on a regular basis but still bought her round to see me so there was never a problem, Then my son got in trouble with the police for taking drugs and he also had 2 offences of which he had only committed one off, the other was not true, even the mother of the child admitted this to me, and she would have been the only witness to this charge, but because he admitted he was guilty of the other child offence was then found guilty to the second charge too. He is still serving time in prison for this, and comes out of prison in October, so this will make it now harder for him to see his child that he wont have seen for 4 years and 3 months. The reason I am writing this is I would like some help and advice as to can I ask for visiting rights to my sons child [my grandchild] who has just had her 9th birthday, as the mother of this child has suddenly not letting me see her for no reason, I was seeing her with her brother and sister for over a year, it was very limited access, of about 1 hour every 3/4 months but she was also present as well, It was not ideal but at least we were seeing her. {her brother and sister were from my sons first marriage] and are now 18 and 23. My concerns are that not only are we missing her so much, but she must be wondering what on earth is going on, first she does not see her dad, then not also being able to see her nan and brother and sister, This will have a terrific effect on her as she is growing up as I my self know and have seen first hand as the child nearly always thinks it is there fault, I cannot find a site to go on that I could ask for help to gaining access to my granddaughter for myself and my other 2 grandchildren [her brother and sister]. I would like to go for mediation as to getting some access perhaps one day a month so we could see her together, My son is another matter he will have to deal with that when he comes out of prison. But it has to be good for her to have regular meetings with her family and to know she is loved and that she has done nothing wrong. I don't know why the mother has chosen not to answer any letters I have written and texts, and phone calls, but I can assure you we have done nothing wrong, and do not deserve this treatment. steery.
Scalapa 25 Jan 2017
My son is under residential order to live with my daughters nana he us 15 am allowed to ave contact once a fortnight however old broke it ad seen him on a Saturday with my partner since then it has bn found out ad my son has been threatened with police ad social services ad all his games ad ph taken away and they stopped all contact not allowed to see him he desperate to come home to live overall what can happen breaching court order
Crazy hinge 6 Jan 2017
My ex wife made unfounded harrasment/domestic violence allegations against me immediately before she applied to the family courts, because of this she managed to skip the mediation process and applied for full residency of our son amidst various other child abuse allegations and nonsense, it took 6 hearings and many thousands of pounds to defend her applications and allegations. Luckily the judge awarded equal shared parenting between ourselves on a 5.2.2.5 rotating fortnightly pattern that recommences after the provision for the holidays (split equally) 6 weeks after the final order was granted she breaches the order, by emailing the police an alternative calender and they turn me away at my sons school, This continues to the extent that she applies to the csa to change the banding regarding the nights my son spends with her, (she says 170 with me and 196 with her) and she has provided the csa with a letter detailing her 'nights' and I am to attend a tribunal! My question is. Can the letter provided to the CSA by crazy ex be used by me to demonstrate that she is not complying with the court order, and what will be the likely outcome, I should of mentioned that crazy ex is now a barrister!!
SeparatedDads Editor 20 Dec 2016
As specified in the article, both of you are bound to the order. Therefore, if your ex breaches the order you can also take the order back to court and ask for a variation, or have the order enforced.
Debs 19 Dec 2016
So my ex has taken out a contact order for our child despite me never denying him access. Why is there no repercussions for him when he breaks the order and doesn't have him or has him late or has him but leaves him with his grandparents most of the time. This seems really unfair as he can do what he wants yet I am bound by this stupid order.
Lala 17 Dec 2016
My son is having contact with his dad Saturday 10 am till Sunday 6 pm now with xmas approaching it falls on a Sunday that us my sons contact now because I wont my son to spend Xmas with me and Boxing Day with his dad. My sons father said that he wonts to spend Xmas this year. If our son refuses to go I'm in breach of contact as there were now papers to say about Xmas
Jimmy 16 Dec 2016
I have a court Order which allows for me have my daughter on a Saturday, can the mother turn up to see her at a Leisure Centre on the Saturday without my consent, as it is my only day with her by myself?
SeparatedDads Editor 8 Dec 2016
You would really have to seek legal advice regarding this. As specified in the article, your ex has breached the order and you can take her to court for the breach. However, it seems she has got there first, so you need to be able to explore your options regarding this. Yes, a drug test can be requested from your ex if she is concerned about the welfare of your child whilst in your care. In court, attitudes to cannabis vary and occasional use may not be considered detrimental to access. However, in general the court does not approve of drug use and most definitely not Class A drugs, as use is deemed not in the best interests of your child. The court will consider what drugs you are using, how often and whether this affects you caring for your child.
CARLOS 7 Dec 2016
My daughter is 5. In July 2015 I took her mother to court for regular access to my daughter and was awarded a child arrangements order with penal order for 2 weekends a month and 4 weeks holiday a year. I am due to pick up my daughter on Friday - I have received a letter today from my ex telling me that due to my drug use and mental state that she is stopping over night contact and that any contact we have will be supervised. I have smoked weed for about 20 years. Its something that I enjoy doing and it doesn't effect me much as I have smoked it for so long. It makes me feel relaxed and is my luxury after the rest of my money goes on bills ect. She states that my daughter is withdrawn, and stressed when I return her on a Sunday and cries when she knows im coming to pick her up - (shes happy as larry when she's with me and find when I drop her off) and states that my daughter is telling her that I tell her shes naughty and a bad girl (which she is sometimes - what kid isn't?) Anyway - what right does she have to stop contact especially after the courts have ordered her to give me regular contact? I don't see myself as a danger to my daughter.... I work, have my own flat pay maintenance - I just like smoking weed! I don't see what the problem is! So shes taking me back to court to get a court order and a drugs test (can they do that?) and in the meantime I have to spend 2 hours every other sunday with my daughter at a play centre?? until this goes through! What can I do!
Mousey 25 Nov 2016
My partner had a child arrangements order for contact, weekends once a fortnight and half of all school holidays (due to distance between us) we do all the travelling and most agreements are noted in the order, his ex however is saying that the school holidays start on the Monday, we assumed that when we said half of a week returned Wednesday that this would run Friday to Wednesday then Wednesday to Sunday etc, she is saying Monday to Wednesday unless our weekend fall before, this means in one week we would potentially travel Monday, back Wednesday and then again Friday and Sunday. We don't think this is in the best interests of anyone especially the children who would in one week spend several hours of their holiday in a car! Would this be something we can apply back to the court for clarification? We have tried to reason with her, discussion in the communication book, written to her solicitor and are getting no response. She is doing the same for over Xmas so deadline is fast approaching
Carl 25 Oct 2016
I have two daughters, they will be 10 & 12 years old in December. My ex has always tested the boundaries of the existing contact order, but she's stepped it up this year, particularly where I didn't see my youngest for 10 weeks over the summer, missing holidays etc....she states they don't want to come, but they are happy when with me, we have a great time, they never ask to go home in the eight years I've been having them. But as soon as they go home I get accused of quizzing them, pressurising them to come etc....if I speak to them on the phone, it's clearly scripted. We went to mediation, spent over £500, we agreed on everything.....yet a week later she isn't sticking to anything we discussed, and bringing in loads of new things....the last two phonecalls their phone was switched off, and she refuses to do anything. She says the only way they will come is if they can choose if they want to or not! Unfortunately, I know if I agree to this then she will make sure they never come...mediation was a total waste of time as she lied throughout sounding like she had their interest at heart, and she isn't bothered the fact I have a contact order, as she has decided it's too rigid! I am flexible where I can be, taking them to parties, cutting my contact time down at Easter so they were able to go on holiday with friends, I can't do anymore....yet now she's stopped contact completely until she gets legal advice....any advice would be welcome......looking at court action now, but is it C79 or C100? Surely she can't just decide to change an order off her own back and stop contact when I've done nothing wrong?
Taz 12 Oct 2016
Hi me and the kids mum has a child arrangement order where I the father have the child tues night to Saturday so I have my child 60% of the week, we also in a 12 month supervision period with Socail services that will end in December. My ex keeps breach the agreement took my child on holiday with out my say so she's stopped me taking her holiday and will refuse to hand over our child on a number of occasions Socail services are not helping and I can't afford to go to court what shall I do ?
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Oct 2016
You don't say why you did not take the matter to court to have the order enforced when your ex originally breached the court order. Therefore, it makes it difficult to advise. If your solicitor has been unsuccessful in bringing this order back to court (you don't again say why), then I can only suggest you change your solicitor.
darKnyt 5 Oct 2016
It's been nearly two years since I have seen one of my children. Her mother stopped contact and completely refuses for me to speak or see my daughter against a contact order. Not only stopping contact with me, but with my parents and siblings, also. I have contacted my solicitors, and they haven't been successful, either. What can I do?
Ash1981 27 Sep 2016
Hi, after some advice please, me and my ex have 50/50 custody of my 3 year old daughter, this is mutually agreed, & I live with my 3 step children & partner, and obviously my daughter 50% of the time. But I need to get this agreement offical as a shared residency agreement with a court, as my ex suffers with mental health issue which doesn't affect her ability to be mother most of the time but she can struggle with full time care. You may think why am I bothered if we mutually agree to this, well in the past if she's having a rough time she has refused to drop my daughter back so I just want to get it set in stone so She legally has to bring her back at set times, I don't have the best relationship with my ex, all correspondence go through my partner, but she is willing to get this agreed by a court, I just need to know the cheapest and quickest way to do it.
SeparatedDads Editor 16 Sep 2016
It depends on whether your ex is in agreement with you changing the order or not and if she does whether you can come to a new arrangement between you. If so, you may wish to have this drawn up through mediation so the agreement is in writing, should there be any repercussions.
ELLBEE1983 15 Sep 2016
Hi, my partner moved in with myself and my daughter who i have had since 15 months old (10 years). my partner was kicked out of her mums home a few months ago and subsequently moved in with us. Her mother has joint PR but my partner has a prohibited steps order and child arrangement order in place to say her little girl of 5 should reside with her. Her mother was sterilised and failed with IVF and is now keeping her daughter and refusing any type of contact telling her to organise a contact centre because said mother doesnt want to communicate with her (this in itself is not a reason to ask for contact centres which usually have to be ordered by a court if im right and only in the case where unsupervised contact would be detrimental). Anyway we have spoken to solicitors and have been advised that if we turn up to school with these orders then the school have no choice but to let the child leave with us. We have obviously kept this quiet but in the mean time are asking for contact on a ddaily basis and being refused and noting this all down. What are likely to be the obstructions or hurdles that might be in the way if we were to turn up to the school with said orders ... if any. I know from my own proceedings that police are very reluctant to touch family proceedings and as there are no orders to say the child resides with anyone else im just double checking that this cannot be opposed in any way ... thanks in advance
Kipper 10 Sep 2016
I have a joint custody order with my ex since 2012. All is well with that and we get on... I am moving away from the area in the new year with my new partner...my son is now 16..do I have to go back to court to change the order,as it will be to far to travel...
A 1 Sep 2016
i had a residency order made on the 12th of July because i was ill in hospital the day of the court the order was made but i explained to the father that i was unable to have my boys for 4 contacts as i was ill still even though i was out of hospital so the father of my children had decided to stop me seeing them so from the 12th of July 16 i have not seen my children he replied with messages like : the boys dont talk about you anymore and says i always let them down i took it back to court and awaiting for it to be listed i just want advise on how to explain my view and practically what the judge is more likely to impose on him and what effects it would of had and still have on my children as they have had bite marks from child to the other child and also pictures advertising drugs in there kitchen. and also not be able to see there mother.
SeparatedDads Editor 31 Aug 2016
If a residency order was given by the court it will still be effective until the court decides otherwise. If you feel your child's safety is at risk I suggest you seek legal advice asap in order to explore your options.
Confused parent 30 Aug 2016
My ex was granted a residence order prior to April of 2014. She refused a two year separated divorce agreement. Does that mean the residence order is still valid or not? She is being investigated for abuse and fraud. Because she blames me, she attempted to get me fired from my job by calling my bosses and lying. I could prove the lie so not a huge deal. What do I file to get an emergency protection order and/or custody order if her residence order is still in place? It is not specific on dates for visiting the child but my child's safety is at risk so I cannot return my child.
Fee 29 Jul 2016
Following a mental breakdown both my ex partners have refused to return my children to me. I am attending court for residency over my 2 year old son. Now my girls dad is refusing to return my daughters. This seems like a nightmare is there anything I can do? I have been the children's main cared from birth until the breakdown. It's killing me not having them with me.
lco 12 Jul 2016
Hi there i had a court order formed in 2006 and pretty much gave my ex all the contact he wanted 0 yet over the years have kept diarys of all contact late pick ups/drop offs no shows excuses why he cant collect child for weekend etc - and in 2010 he had no contact with our son for over a year and did not even send a birthday card , yet after a text message he sent asking to see isaac i reinstated contact as ive always had my sons best intrests at heart - then my ex said he would have my son the 1st weekend of every month as i moved 17 miles away he said he could not afford to have him twice a month! So this has continued until now my ex has a new partner and my son who is now nearly 13 mentioned he had been staying at his dads new address - this set alarm bells ringing as he has not notified me of new address and i do not know where he is sleeping, i feel i have a right to know where my son is staying but ex has blown up and called the police making up a load of lies and said my son has been lying he does not have a new address but have been visiting his girlfriends and my son is mistaken as he has been sleeping at new address!!! so i have text to say im suspending overnight contact as ii cannot trust him to let me know where my son is staying, he has threatened me with court and refferred aback to the court order - but i feel as he breached that years ago i have the right to suggest the contact - can i have some advice please id rather not go back to court but my ex has never been amicable and we have been split for nearly 11 years now!! he will not communicate hence not informing me of where son is sleeping all of this could have been ressolved if he would have even sent a simple text or written address down!!
Jaffa 10 Jul 2016
I have been their for my granddaughter who is 2 from birth have cared and brought her up along side my daughter she separated from her partner a while now and their was a court hearing for access for him which he perused now he don't pay child support and when he does his on his terms I have my daughter every weekend with out fail and now he wants he on the days and nite I normally have her but he lets her down through other comitments or just because he can now he wants to resume again but he is not comitted he knows I have her hence why he is doing this she doesn't like going to him and cries for me what can I do please help he has also comitted fraud by stealing out of my daughter's bank account which is ongoing at the moment but no charges has of yet been set
Dave 9 Jul 2016
I got a court order section 8.. I dropped my daughter back to her mums house 4 weeks ago and hour later she text me saying my daughter had a scratch on her arm she said she took my daughter to the walk in centre and she has pic and video evidence of this which I think is rubbish I have asked her to show me the evidence but she still hasn't .. Suppose to have my daughter tomorrow for 2 hours but she's saying I can't now I have to see her supervised at her mums house and in 2 weeks time I have My daughter for 6 hours 4 sessions a fornight. I don't feel happy seeing my daughter at my exs mums house people watching me and judging me what is my best option of going forward?
SeparatedDads Editor 29 Jun 2016
The easiest way is to come to an agreement through mediation, but if your boyfriend and his ex cannot agree, then he would have the option to take the matter to court. I can't say what terms of access will be granted, but unless his ex has good reason to keep his daughter away from you then the court can overrule her decision not to let you have contact. The court will always decide what is in the best interest of a child. But predicting what they may decide is impossible.
Leah 28 Jun 2016
My current boyfriend has been to court over Access to his 4 year old, as per the mother is being difficult especially as I am in the question, she refuses to let the daughter hug me, and I am not allowed to do the usually mummy like things to make our days more of a family. My partner is restricted to see his daughter every other Sunday. He's going to mediation soon to try get her for the weekends but as we live 3 hours away she is already kicking off that he can't have her. I know all of this is due to her wanting him back as numerous times I've heard from her parents. What rights do I and my partner have and would we be successful in court if we took it to get her over night? It's all a lot of stress when she could just be an adult.
grandma 25 Jun 2016
Hi I have a special guardianship order through the court's for my 2 grandchildren. When this order was granted both parents were given contact. However when the order was made the father was living with his new partner and step children and new daughter. Since then they have separated and he has had 2 other partners, to which he has a baby with the second that he doesn't see. He was single for a year but has now met a 3rd and moved in with her within 2 weeks of starting the relationship. So within 2 and a half years he has had a total of 3 girlfriends and a baby. A year single and now a new one. I told him I was not happy with the children staying overnight for the weekend when they hadn't even met her. He hadn't even told them about her or that he was living with her. I asked him to let them meet her a few times to get to know her and her 5 children before they stayed each fortnight. He had them for the day one weekend and then kicked up a fuss the following fortnight when I said they could not stay over. His contact order is a day visit monthly and one night stay monthly. He has now told people I have stopped his contact which is not true, I am mearly trying to safeguard the children welfare. Could you please tell me were I stand with regards to the courts and what I should do now
SeparatedDads Editor 16 Jun 2016
I am sorry to hear this and cases similar to this are unfortunately something that happens all the time. Has his ex applied for permission to the courts after your son has refused his consent for her to move away? If so, I suggest your son seeks some good legal advice here (if he can it may be worth him paying for this in the first instance or trying through a McKenzie Friend), as it is not set in stone that the court will allow the move. If he cannot afford legal fees he can self-litigate, Many fathers are representing themselves in court with good success - if they know their stuff and do their research thoroughly. If your son objects to the move, then he will have to be able to prove why it is not in his son's best interests to allow the mother to move him from the area. If there have been safeguarding issues then it makes it more difficult for your son to monitor the progress of his child etc - therefore he needs to be able to prove that the move could be detrimental to his son's wellbeing. Your son has an option to fight this - so I suggest he does all he can prior to the move in order to prevent it. It will be much more difficult to bring the matter back to court once the order is issued, therefore he needs to do all he can now. Our Separated Dads forum and Facebook page, plus articles will help. He needs to join groups and get as much advice as he can from dads who have been through the same or similar issues. The Bar Council also give good guidance here. I hope this helps.
Ann 15 Jun 2016
Hope you can help or advise ... My son is separated from his wife and has a 3 year old son .. There is a court order that states my son sees his little boy every tues/thurs for 3 hours & every other weekend .. She stared to dictate that my son could only stay at his fathers house & was not allowed to have his new girlfriend there .. This was quickly put to bed as my son refused to be controlled by her ... Now the wife has been telling the 3 yr old that he can hit my son as she said he can ... He's not allowed to say he loves his daddy or wants to live with him because he misses his dad and I've witnessed him saying it ... My son has tried to speak to the police/ social worker & child protection officers as they are under safeguarding because the wife drinks .. been taking drugs & the house and child have been unkempt...she has attacked my son & he called the police but nothing has been put in any reports ... They are basically saying that tough there is nothing they can do even though it's putting words into a child's head !! My son has now received a letter saying that he has to go back to court in July as the wife is moving far away & his access will be only once a fortnight ... How in this day and age are women and courts allowed to get away with it ... Fathers get a raw deal as it is & there is no balance when he's paid maintenance & being denied his right as a father ... Please can someone help a worried mother & grandmother but most of all my son who is beside himself & a broken man He cannot afford a solicitor anymore and when he contacted the original solicitor to get advice they said to him that legally she can get away with it
Sue 29 May 2016
We have a court order in place for the father of my children to see them. They are always ready and made available even for extra days. The courts have said the eldest doesn't have to go unless she want to. My youngest is refusing to go and has run away and climbed out of the car when his father collected him. I am not being taken to court as he says I have breached the contact order. I would love for them to have contact and have tried talking to my son but am at a loss as to what to do now. He threatens that because I have breached the order they will take the children away. Help?!
Al 19 May 2016
My ex took me to court and spent lots of money to gain a court order to see his son every weds after school and every other Sunday. There was violence and therefore the access is supervised. He is breaching the order by not being available 40% of the time even though I am sticking rigidly to the order. Is it a breach of it is this way round? Ie the non resident parent not turning up for the visits? Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 17 May 2016
This is a difficult question to answer, but I shall try. If you are staying within the court order's permitted times and are being given abuse for no apparent reason, then you may need to seek some legal advice. If you are trying to see your kids outside of the court order, then you will have to be careful this doesn't backfire on you. Regardless of whether you think you deserve more time with your children, you have to abide by what the order says. I can understand the frustration you may feel, but if you breach the court order then you are giving ammunition to your ex to justifying stopping access altogether. If she can prove you are attending the school to see your children outside of the court order, then the court will take her side, especially if the police become involved. I can only advise, as difficult as it may be, that you stay strictly within the bounds of that order and do not contact her, or attend the school apart from when you have arranged to see your kids as otherwise you may find that through the court your access is limited even further.
SeparatedDads Editor 16 May 2016
You don't say whether the father has a residency order through the courts, or whether it was a mutual arrangement between you and your daughter's father. If there is a court order in place, then you would have to re-apply through the courts. If the agreement was mutual then you can either discuss the matter between you, seek mediation or apply through the courts. While Cafcass and the courts will take on board your daughter's preference (now she is 13), it doesn't mean you will automatically be given residency. The courts could very well decide to leave your daughter with her father, as the court will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.
Tonynelly 16 May 2016
Please help..... After being screwed over by a biased social worker and biased MARAC team member in courts I've been given minimum of a Friday through till Saturday, I've asked for more contacted between my ex and I but she refuses to give me more now she has been caught fiddling the tax credits and have dropped her money she is now making more lies up at school I'm being bombarded by threats from other parents at the school and it's at the point where I'm being escorted off the school premises by the police with my children I just want some peace from it all and some proper contact with my kids any advice is welcome
Phoenix 16 May 2016
Hi 5yrs ago I sent my children to live with their father to safe guard them as I was in a very violent relationship, he obtained a residency order and I havent seen my children since until a couple of days when they found me and it was a very emotionally meeting. My daughter who is 13 has said she doesn't want to go back home to her dad scene wants to be with her mum. What are my rights in keeping her with me.?
SeparatedDads Editor 16 May 2016
Your ex will have the option to take the matter back to court in a bid to have the order enforced. Access should only be stopped if absolutely necessary, if there are small issues that arise such as this, then they should at best be worked out between you rather than have to go through the whole court procedure again.
grumpy 15 May 2016
I have we daughter she only 2 the dad put court order on her as well for access but he was meant to bring her doctor one day to get checked up he lyed to mummy face and told me he did take her he was caught out in lyes then admitted he lyed couple day later I stop him access from seeing his kid cause he hasn't done what he was meant to do for her what will happen me cause he has court order on me
SeparatedDads Editor 4 May 2016
In this instance you would need to to seek some legal advice before you decide to breach the court order as it depends upon the level of substance abuse. There are many parents who misuse substances , yet at the same time are capable of caring properly for their children and are not putting them at risk i.e if we there was safeguarding around every child whose parents smoked cannabis, then the system would not be able to cope. At the same time if you see that due to substance abuse your child is not being cared for properly because your ex's lifestyle has become disorganised and chaotic and your child is missing school or being neglected, this is a different matter. Therefore, some legal advice will be able to ascertain whether keeping your child against the court order is the best approach.
SeparatedDads Editor 3 May 2016
We have a series of websites under Child Support Laws such as The Law and Single Mothers here which may help you further.
mike o 3 May 2016
if i safeguard my child because of my ex partner smoking illegal substances around my child will i be arrested? my ex has residency order that say out child lives with her .. however i have video evidence of my ex smoking drugs around our child .. but if i ring the police and dont send our child back for this reason as its child abuse would i get arrested by the police ? or would i be breaching the court order doing the and arrested for comtempt of the court ?
Joanne 2 May 2016
I'm fed up with it all being about the fathers who are on the back foot in family law cases with children .Where are the sites that help the mothers when the fathers stop contact ?????
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Apr 2016
Your ex does not have to give you her new address if she chooses not to do so. However, if you lose contact with your son as a result, then you can apply for access a C4 form which is an application to the court for an order for the disclosure of a child's whereabouts. Your ex can still choose whether she wants the address to remain confidentail, but it will allow you to apply for access to see your son.
astley 27 Apr 2016
I'm a non resident parent but have parental responsible for my 14 year son. There is a residence order in place. My ex wife has recently moved and is refusing to give me their new address. It seems crazy thay she can just withhold these details. Can I insist on having my son's new address?
joe 8 Apr 2016
Hi my partner and i been separated since 2011, she left me and live with another guy.but we have one child his going to be 8 years old the first year of our broke up was very emotional and stressful because she hide my son and refused of access with my child even thou i was supporting him then i finally get in touch with the family solicitor at the end of 2012 then i have access with my son every weekend from Saturday 10;00 am then take him back at the following day which is Sunday at 20;00 pm first couple of month was quite ok then she stared breaking the agreement by meeting them and get my son from train station.shop friends house. as well as the time is change as well like Saturday 12;00 pm 2;00 pm 6;00 pm then Sunday 9;00 pm then 10;00 pm the worse is she did most of the time not turn up to the meeting place like were meeting at train station like before 10;00 am she wont come till 11;00 am or 12;00 pm so i have to wait for her but sometime she wont turn up.so i just wasting the train fair no sleep tire stress no sleep Because most of the time i'm working Friday night from 8;00 pm up to Saturday 8;00 am so i have to Rush coming home weather is dry or raining get on the train and meet them to train station or shop work place friends house but she wont turn up sometimes.but on the agreement that she sign for it was pick up from her own house or flat.and she is very demanding too oly suit for her time asking to come earl if she is working early but if i am the one who asking Favor to have my son extra time or day like for example my son off from school she wont let have him.even Christmas new years or his birthday weather is Saturday or Sunday she wont let me have him and celebrate with my son too every year she was breaking the agreement like last 2013 she refused to let me see my son or talk to him she don't even reply to my text or to my phone calls.then have to go back to family solicitor pay again then she agree and sign the papers the couple of month the contact was fine again till 2014 august she just refused to let me see my son again no reply to my text and phone call again been to her house and friend house ask them where are they then they said they don't know which i don't believe them so i have to kept on searching but still cant found them and his partner too.i phone ring my sons school to talk to my son but the school said they wont allowed me to speak with my son.till i have papers from the court or solicitor .so i did't see my son Christmas and new years till i save the money and g back to my solicitor.then last year 2015 my friend and i went to barry to my sons school and wait for them to come out from school and following them without knowing her that were out there.then finally we we found out that she move from her old address without telling me.so she. hen then i Google the address and the postcode then went back to my family solicitor and send letter to her then as soon as she receive it my solicitor ma
SeparatedDads Editor 23 Mar 2016
He would have to follow the advice in the article and apply to the courts to have the order enforced.
Tickle 22 Mar 2016
Hi my son have 2 children and ex has stopped him he has a court order to see them but he hasn't seen them for 4 months now what can he do about this
SeparatedDads Editor 15 Mar 2016
I am sorry to hear this. Firstly, it is unlikely you would gain full custody, especially if you are working such long hours and therefore would have vey little time to spend with your daughter. Also, unless there was a very good reason, the court is unlikely to remove your daughter from her mother and hand her over to you, again unless absolutely necessary. However, you will be entitled to apply for access if your ex tries to withhold it, please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. You would need to go through the process laid out in the article.
SEMP2015 14 Mar 2016
Hi there. My girlfriend has recently broken up with me. She was previously living with me and my 7 month old daughter, but now she has taken my daughter and I've seen her for 3 hours since they left. Granted, they only left a week ago, but she said she wouldn't stop me seeing her, but every time I ask to see her, I don't get a response. Surely, this is wrong. I would like full custody of my daughter, but I work 11 hours a day for 5 days a week and have commitments on a Saturday. What are the chances of me holding up with working long hours and can she keep my daughter from me like this?
Burts183 12 Mar 2016
Hi, I was just wondering how I re submit back to court, I won pr, name change and access and we had a court order of arranged schedule for contact the mother has said she isn't going with it and doesn't agree until.she feels ready, I am at a loss to how I resubmit this to court asap so they can see she's breaching the order and being simply over protective. Thankyou
SeparatedDads Editor 3 Mar 2016
I am sorry to hear this. I can only suggest you seek some legal advice regarding your best options here. Paying for a bit of advice from a family law solicitor will help, particulary where Social Services are concerened. Hopefully, this will blow over and you can either regain contact, or apply directly to the courts to have your original court order enforced.
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Mar 2016
It's a tricky question to answer as obviously it is a big move and one that needs careful consideration from both sides. I assume your ex is of the thought that he shouldn't have to pay the travel bills if it is your choice to move out of the country and he wishes to make sure official contact can be maintained between him and his daughters. However, the solicitor's opinion is correct, as no agreement can be validated unless it goes through a court of law. I would ordinarily suggest Mediation as a way of sorting out the issue. However, it is unlikely it would come to Mediation, let alone court approval in the time you have left before you are due to leave the country. I'm afraid given the time limit, it is an issue that you will have to continue to thrash out between yourselves. If the issue remains unresolved and you take the children out of the country without/against your ex's consent, then this can be classed as abduction. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix or easy resolution to be had here.
Chez 1 Mar 2016
I'm about to move abroad in 5 weeks to an eu country, I have 2 children one of whom has lived with his dad for the past 2 weeks as he needs a firm hand, and had started to Lose respect for me and become uncontrollable , it was agreed from both sides. I have had a job offer and would now like to take my daughter to live abroad for 12 months . I have arranged a school, accommodation and all things necessary to make sure that he was happy for me to take her , the issue I have is that dad now (although not saying I can't go) has decided he wants a formal document stating I will have full financial responsibility for flying out daughter to see him and my son to see me. The school needs documentation to say that I am able to take my daughter abroad and I have dads authority to do so and enrol her at the school. Dad is saying he won't consent unless I get something written and signed by a solicitor. I have spoken to a solicitor who says that he can't do anything and even if he could it wouldnt be worth the paper it is written on as it wouldn't be law abiding unless a court order was in place.. I feel he is purposely being obstructive and his concerns are not his child's welfare but it's more financial and a control issue. He sees his daughter 2 weekends in 5 and pays 100 a month for her and this has always been a civil arrangement . I seem to be coming up against brick walls as he is a police sergeant and has also had had social services involved purely because he didn't like my partner whom I have a child to. Please help as a this job is to ensure I can do the very best for my children and give them an opportunity to learn a second language and have a new experience .he is refusing to speak to me until he has had an in depth ( his words) conversation with a solicitor .
loulou 19 Feb 2016
Hi my name is stacey. I have a 3 year old son who lives with his dad I have parental responsibilities but the father had made it impossible for me to spend actual time with my son and he would only let me see him at his house and would never let me have him over night. I hvnt seen my son for a few months now and today his father had once again been arrested and his spending 4 months in jail. I'm trying to find out if I can get my son back as his father has bin in jail several times in the last 20 years . And is known for drug dealing. How do I get my son back and make sure hese safe . He is at the minute staying with his father's mum.
Brady Swan 22 Jan 2016
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Scouse 18 Jan 2016
I need some advice my granddaughter is on a protection order because of emotional abuse .Her mother breeches the order by letting her ex partner in the home .The social workers want to take it to the next step can anyone tell me what happens next Many thanks
buttercup 15 Jan 2016
My partner has a court order for his children, their mother wanted him to have every other weekend only. The court disagreed and he was regular contact every week although it varied due to his work hours as their mum doesn't think he 'deserves' to have them on his days off. Well, he was paying maintenance and all was fine and dandy until that stopped because he is no longer employed. Numerous times she has stated he is not allowed to pick the kids up, 'they dont want to see you' etc etc through messages (we cut that form of communication out as soon as she started to do it). But he has never not seen them since that court order was granted, it has been years since it was granted. She tends to get agressive, even to me infront of the kids. My partner has been accused of so many things, so have I. All petty of course. Anyway, his ex seems to think that now he is no longer working that that is a breach of the court order (which I think is incredibly silly) and is trying to use that as a reason not to allow him to see his kids. In the court order it just states that due to his working hours he will have visitation on these days. He has good contact that the judge ordered and we have paperwork from previous court stating that she wants him to have them every other weekend. The children are still young (7+4) and this contact order has been working great until the maintenance stopped. Is it a breach of the order now he is not working? Because I don't think it is, it doesn't say on the order that if he no longer works he has to stop contact with the kids. We currently nearly have 50/50 access and he has seen a solicitor about going back to court to gain 50/50, which we know is going to cause problems as she just wants him to have minimal amount of contact and seems to think that it is pay-per view.(As do her family). We support them at our house clothes, food, toys. school uniform, coats, shoes etc. They basically get everything at our house that they do at mums. (obviously no problem for us and I am not whinging about that). What will happen when we go back to court and can him no longer being employed affect his chances of 50/50, its near enough there now already. and can she stop him from seeing the kids just because he doesn't work any more? Sorry for the long post!
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Dec 2015
I'm afraid there is little I can make comments on due to the complexity of the situation and the fact Social Services are involved. The courts will always rule and make decisions based upon what it views to be in the best interests of your children.
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Dec 2015
It is illegal for anyone to falsify a birth certificate under the Perjury Act 1911. You don't say whether he knows he is the father or not. Therefore, it is a complicated matter with all sorts of repecussions and is dependent upon his reaction and whether he would want to take this matter through court.
PT 10 Dec 2015
Hi My ex wife let the kids at school, nearly 3 years ago and has not seen them, sent a birthday card nothing. Due to my daughter's behaviour i put boundaries in place and never let her go on a few trips. Social services removed my daughter without any consent or notification a month ago. NO EPO , ICO nothing. However, my son still resides with me. I found out that the allegations were Low physical violence and emotional abuse. I voluntarily went to the police station some 14 days later and was put on bail, allegations of Low physical violence and emotional abuse. My daughter had stated i hit her with a shoe and then a bed slat. In the Child conference report, my daughter states she was looking for something under the bed and the bed slat broke. Then she said in the social workers report, i threw it at her. Police searched my home and found my shoes and the bed slat. At the meeting my daughter has stated to all agencies that she wishes to see me. Social agreed and 2 weeks prior to the meeting so did the police. They tracked down mum and now she is claiming parental responsibilty and my daughter is living with her nan. Not mum as my son made allegations of a sexual nature about mum's now husband . It took him 6 months to tell me and the police could not do anything due to it had been so long. Now mum is going to court trying to get residency of both the children, Mum went to school to speak to my son and he said he did not wish to go with her and walked out from the meeting. I am on bail and the social worked is deliberately excluding me from meeting and just updating me. I have been making the calls to the social worker not the other way round. They had no legal basis on removing my daughter. I have made a formal complaint and it seems it may be swept under the carpet by her superiors. Can the court awrd custody to their mum? Whilst this is going on? These are only allegations and i am on bail?
kieran 9 Dec 2015
i need some advice i had my child with a girl i new afew years ago she was with soneone but at the time they was not together then we found out she was pregnent, then he went down on her birth certificate and they got married but are now not together down to him being charged for demestic violance on his wife the mother of my child, what me and her want to know is can he file to stop me from seeing my child
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Nov 2015
It seems a sensible decision to ask your mother to act as the point of contact. However, it's not ideal either if they don't get on. There is always mediation, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? whichAlso, if you can't afford the legal fees and you want to take it back to court, you can self-litigate, please see article: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, whichI hope this helps.
lee 30 Nov 2015
Hi can someone please help on this matter... I have a court order in place which I see my kids every other weekend ,I recently moved house about a hour away from where the kids live now my ex has stopped all contact even tho I'm prepared to travel to collect and drop them off.. we agreed on text for me to recently start having them again and yet again she stopped it. She keep moving the goal posts all the time when she doesn't like something.. I haven't got the money yet to take her back to court and proceed with the next step, because we don't get on for various reasons I have my mother who is willing to act as a go between to save us from arguing etc. . But the ex doesn't like it and that is one off the reasons she has stopped contact. Due to past events I haven't given her my new number or address but as I have said before my mum is willing to act the go between (I thought this was the best option due to past events ) can someone please help on this matter and maybe point me in the right direction.. many thanks
Katie's 29 Nov 2015
Hi I have a court order with my ex last Saturday he never showed up to have his son I rang and text I did hear anything for 4 hours later he then told me I was in the wrong it was a Sunday not a Saturday witch I then sent him the email that we both agreed that is was to be a Saturday he then tryed to black mail me and said because I now provide him wrong he's not taking me son over nigth for his next contact witch we both agreed that my son was not ready just ready as he was still crying when he's picking him up and saying he don't won't to Go he a horrible person I don't think he's ever ask how his son is ever! I then found out by his girlfriend they didn't have any food heating in the house for electricity so how would this be good for my son I'm the middle of winter he came back one time with a black eye that he can't tell me what he had done he just told me I didn't see it and he never said any to him I'm worried sick everytime me son going I'm 34weeks pregnant and I worrie myself that much when my son gose with him iv not had problems with my unborn child he seem to be more worried about hurting me that caring for his son I'm losing my fight I feel that people don't care about these thing and the man got a record of beating woman! His still not don't a anger management course witch the court order for him to do it but apparently the place told him he dose not have to do it but I was told my the court he had to before over night could happen he's gave me no prof of this at all
SeparatedDads Editor 20 Nov 2015
I'm afraid there are no 'loopholes', you would have to go through the court process and apply for residency, please see link: Applying for Custody: Court Procedure, here which will give further advise on your options in this situation.
Tony1987 19 Nov 2015
Thanks I have an amazing solicitor from what I've been told pat woods No as she's been warned by the police about false accusations she's now stopped contact and made allegations that I'm teaching my 2 year old to swear and I'm telling my 7 and 4 yr old things it's tearing me sort in the last 13 contacts I've seen them twice were in court on Monday at 12 does anybody no of any kind of order or loophole or anything I can do to try and get my kids away from there mum she's mentally unstable is spreading vile vicious rumours wich have ruined my credibility at school and around the estate and she's constantly having them around drugs drug users and having a man driving them around under the influence of drugs
SeparatedDads Editor 19 Nov 2015
Getting some really good legal representation might help you. If you wife is make false accusations ( including falsifying evidence) which cause the police to act, she is guilty of perverting the course of justice. Unfortunately this is all too common when relationships break down. Keep calm in court and make sure you state your case and that you want what is in the best interests of the children. Hopefully a judge will see the situation for what it really is.
Tony1987 18 Nov 2015
17th September 15 my wife out of no we're threw me out she has mental health issues so I took the kids with me by the 18th I was arrested for 2 historical assaults rape and affrey the rape 1 assault and affrey were dropped and I was charged with a common assault and have to wait until January to prove my innocence so I have a nonmolestation order prohibited steps order and bail conditions against me. I have contact with my 3 children Tuesday Thursdays and Sundays in the court order but my wife keeps having me arrested with false acusations of breaching bail all NFA by the police now she's made acusations and blocked my contact until after we've bin to court on Monday She has surrounded herself by drug users and I'm in fear for the children's Health and safety I'm at my wits end with it I've spent 66 hours in police custody since the 18th I have no criminal record and I'm devoted to my children can anybody please help
SeparatedDads Editor 16 Nov 2015
What do you want to be done? Is your son worried in case she his ex comes back and attempts to take her son, and does your son want to apply for residency? If so, please see link: Applying for Custody: Court Procedure, here . I hope this helps.
jud 16 Nov 2015
My grandsons MUM has custody of my two and a half grandson but she has now left him with my son for nearly six months without contact at all and just makes excuses to not have him back. What can be done
SeparatedDads Editor 11 Nov 2015
His ex is in breach of the court order and as specified in the article, your partner needs to take this back to court to get the order enforced. If she continues to breach the order, then she could face a fine or even prison sentence as she is in contempt of court.
SeparatedDads Editor 11 Nov 2015
Who has the children over Christmas is an issue between many separated families and there really is no rule book. If both parents have parental responsibility, then both parents should have an equal say and there should be no one parent that lays down the law to say they have priority, it should be about compromise and sharing. However, this is in an ideal world. It seems fathers always get the brunt of being sidelined to Boxing Day, with Christmas day being reserved for the mothers. It means fathers who are sidelined in most every other way in their children's lives feel this most at Christmas-time. Many families will compromise by saying one parent can have the child on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning and the other have them from midday on Christmas Day and overnight, meaning both parents get to see their children on the most special day of the year. It is worth noting that, if you have a residence order, this does not give you carte blanche to make unilateral decisions in respect of your child’s upbringing. Therefore, I'm afraid regardless of how you arranged it the previous year, this year you will have to agree to differ. However, it would make it easier if you could both come to an agreement and if you can't agree then maybe you should both try mediation and try to work it out for the sake of fairness for both you parents and your kids.
Lori 10 Nov 2015
My partner and his ex separated years ago he is now 5 and just recently started school. My partner has a court order for shared care where he would have him Sunday 10-5 Monday over night stay and Tuesday till 5 on the evening. She stopped contact almost effective immediately dropping dates here and there. With excuse after excuse. He now wasn't seen him for months. Missing his birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, Easter and just his general day life. We have piles of presents sitting in the loft from which hue has never been allowed to receive. My partner thought that if he gave his ex time she'd come round as she has done so before. He's has called regular and there's always a new excuse. Even though he obtains a court order why can she get away with this?
purplepest 9 Nov 2015
Hi I have a 6 yr old and I have a residency order and a contact order that every other weekend and half school holidays. Last year Xmas time was my first chance to give ex a full week together by splitting my week so they could enjoy Christmas. Cass cass asked if he could collect Xmas day and i said for this one ( goodwill) sure I agreed Xmas day was mine boxing was his as his family gave a party .... I told him and my solicitor straight after Xmas its not happening kik that this year it totally upset my little girl and my family .... Ive given him from the 19th dec ( plus he has the weekend prior) to Xmas eve at 4pm Xmas day with me and he can collect ffion boxin day morning for over night then return .... Ex decides he want her Xmas day also and now threating me with fines and court surely after bein divorced for violence ( unfair behaviour( surely they don't expect me to just cause he dnt get his own way keep putting up with these threats in not stoppin contact he has a week out of the two week off but Xmas day is mine with her sister
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Nov 2015
It does indeed, the same rules apply for both sets of parents who breach a contact order.
Kayw 8 Nov 2015
What happens if the dad breaches the order does the same rules apply. We are all equals at.the end of the day
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Oct 2015
There is not much you can do here I'm afraid, as if you went through mediation or the courts her opinion would be taken on board. You can only try to re-build the bridges of your relationship and hope she will at some point come around.
Snooky 30 Oct 2015
My now 16 year old daughter (17 in December) has refused to see me for over 3 years despite my repeated attempts to keep contact. My ex seems unwilling to assist in this although my son resides with me half the week as my daughter should as agreed on divorce.
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Oct 2015
If you can't afford a solicitor, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. Many fathers are taking this route and if they plan their case properly, they are having a good amount of success.
Jonny 29 Oct 2015
Been to medation everything went ok seeing my daughter now am in relationship wont let me see her police invovled ring on with held numbers at early morning with friend drunk with my daughtersocail sevices involved she still wont let me see her cant ford solictor anything else i can do
Jo 27 Oct 2015
If you are a man you get to pay more see your kids less work more work harder and longer and die earlier This is not just my opinion this is real fact One day in the future women will be treated as equal and they probably won't like it .its not so good over her in blokes world We do it tough I can't wait until TRUE equality is reached The issue that surrounds custody could be fair for everyone this could even include the child .
Petra 22 Oct 2015
My new partner has a 5 year old child with his ex for whom he has parental responsibility and an existing contact order made in May of this year which gave him approx 50% of the time with this child over a 2 week period and with school holiday contact also defined for summer. This order was granted following months of abuse for my partner from his ex and her new partner (a convicted murderer who is on license for life) including not only verbal altercation but damage to property and physical assault - as you can imagine his health has suffered greatly due to this abuse. This order worked fine(ish) for a while when there was no contact as the child was picked up and dropped off at school - We live together and all get on well with eachother when the child is there though it is obvious at times that the child is coached by its mother to say and do controversial things. We try to smoothover this and not react as the child is simply being used as a weapon. Prior to going back to school in the autumn the mother refused contact completely firstly on the basis that the child was not safe with us and we found ourselves having to go back to court as the original order had been broken (it had in fact been broken many times previously but in petty ways designed to annoy and so we had always 'turned a blind eye' to this as we knew what she was up to - looking for a reaction and an argument which we would never rise to). At court however, it turned out that her issue is with me and she has pettitioned the court to allow minimal contact for the child with my partner (9 hrs per week over 2 occasions) provided that I am not there and she has requested cafcass checks done on me - this means that in the interim whilst the checks are being done that I have to vacate my own home in order that the child can be with its father. This is also despite the fact that social services had written a report concerning the child (when the mother left the child being looked after by a 9 year old with no adults present and resulted in the child breaking their elbow) which stated that there was no danger to the child whilst in our care. We have also had numerous late night visits from the police due to nuisance allegations being made against us by the childs mother over situations which have never happened and cannot be substantiated - our only way of dealing with these has been to make a complaint to the police force in question about the force themselves as , because they do not link separate instances when they are called out, they are being unwittingly used as a tool to harrass us with. We feel let down by a great number of bodies on many levels - the police, the courts, social services etc as everything seems stacked against any father with little or no effort made to assess a situation properly - the mothers hearsay is taken as gospel with no opportunity for redress on our part. We do not know why we are being treated like this as we just want to get on with our lives a
SeparatedDads Editor 22 Oct 2015
I am sorry to hear this. However, the police cannot help enforce the order, only the courts can. Therefore, I suggest you either contact your solicitor (if you have one) who can send a letter to your ex reminding her of the court order and the consquences if she decides to breach it, and/or contact Cafcass, if it has been involved. If she ignores the order, then I'm afraid it is back to the family courts. As disheartening as this may be for you, please continue fighting your legal battle as the courts will not take kindly to your ex being constantly in contempt.
madrat 21 Oct 2015
My ex breached a contact order for two years, I applied for an enforcement order and finally got to see my son in the summer, I am supposed to be having my boy for half term as stated in the contact order, my ex is coming to the uk and has told my mother she can see my son but not me, can I ask the police to help me?
l1sajan3 16 Oct 2015
Help please. We don't know what to do next. My partner's ex breached a court order giving her access to two of their 5 children residing with us. She also left England and moved to Scotland my her new boyfriend taking my partner's youngest daughter with them. He have now paid over 4 thousand pounds to get her back living with us and her siblings but have been told there is not much else to do if mother isn't Co operating. My children and my stepchildren are finding the separation from their sister very hard what else can we do.
banksy 13 Oct 2015
I have a court orderthat says I can have my daughter Wednesdays 4 well 6 and Saturdays 10 till 4 my ex partner has not stuck to the court order she lets me see my daughter when it suits her . and says I have to have supervised visits with my family there when I see my daughter I am really stuck and not sure what to do but just seeing my daughter wants 10 well for 4 every fortnight.isn't enough bonding time for me and my daughter but she keeps going on about my daughter's stability how can once a fortnight b any sort of stability can anybody give me advice pleae
Gra 3 Oct 2015
My son has a court order allowing him to have his daughter every other weekend and every school holiday. He arrived at moms home to collect his daughter only to find she had moved house so he has no idea where she is. His daughter has been on child protection plans four times because of moms behaviour. His daughter is only 9 years old. What action can he take.
Libby 20 Sep 2015
My husband has been to court with his ex as she stopped him seeing his daughter for no reason for 9 months went to court got it sorted a year later now we are down same road we stay far aways from her but both myself and my husband either pick her up take her for weekends and now she is stopping our weekend I don't no Wat to do as it was set in stone in court can we call police if she withholds her from us.. And lately the child has been crying alot as her room at her mum's is full of mold and she is put on couch to sleep all time as bf stays she is only 6 she also says new bf keeps calling her looser and hitting her and grabbed her by scruff the neck and her mum shouts at her all time wich I have witnessed with my own eyes tbh and the child is very uptight anxious all time she broke down crying saying she didn't want to go home and her granny tells her to cry when she comes to ours and she promises to buy her presents of she cries me and my husband jst do no no Wat to do anymore.. Can someone help.
gell 19 Sep 2015
I need some advice. My sons ex has custody of there son even after be tested positive for drugs leaving him for weeks on end from New born and even after caffcas report saying he should be with my son. Now she leaves him again with me or my son for long periods of time to party. We have now had him for nearly for months. He is two years old What can we do?
nanna12 5 Sep 2015
my son is currently in prison he has a daughter with his ex she has a new boyfriend and is now stoping my son from seeing his daughter he is nog in prison for violence nd ix not a risk there was a court order fone bk in 2012 yhat my son sees his daughter on regular times he when they split up he had a gorlfriend at thr tome which his ex wouldnt let his daughtrr be around hd had a son with this girlfriend whom sadly passed away at 4monthd old my ex wouldnt leg me see my daughter if he had anything to do with his son when he was alive my son is servinga a 2yr sentence since last june shr has left his daughtet go to se him untill recentlh with mo excuse has he gog anh rights and eill the court order that was placed in 2012 still comply when he is releases thanks .
Irishbhoy 3 Sep 2015
My ex wife is forever changing here mind about my access to our son and I am the one funding trips on going to see him and then she tells me she can't afford to come back and bring our son with her at the moment I am esa allowance and this will be my fifth trip to go and see our son I am getting fed up being the one who always has make the sacrifice and the court order stated it should be fifty fifty and this is not happening
Gizzle 23 Jul 2015
Hi ive recently bin kicked out of my partners house, she use to let me in the house to have coffee and spend time with my son before taking him out to also have 1 to 1 time, some reason she says it is best that i dont go in the house, and stops me playing with my son at her home, what can i do about it and is there anything to stop me from spending time in her house as we get on great still despite seperated
snowy 20 Jul 2015
hi, I woul be grateful if you could tell me how I can help my cousin to get a court order to stop his wife from taking the child out of the UK. She has previously done this, but he managed to locate her, and bring them back to the UK. They have now both agreed to separate but she has managed to get hold of the child's passport and won't tell him where it is. As she has done this before he is very worried that she will do it again.Nieither of them trust each other and the child's wellbeing is at stake. He is British and the mother is of Turkish nationality but has permission of indefinite leave
sandy 16 Jul 2015
Can I keep my child when my partner is housing her in a overcrowded house when I have a fully equipped bedroom just for her
SeparatedDads Editor 19 Jun 2015
@Hevva - we can't really advise on this as it is, of course, up to the courts to decide, based on the report the mediators have given. However, the fact that you have had regular access will work in your favour. Also, it is better to ask for more and accept less, than ask for too little and not get enough. I wish you luck.
shaft 18 Jun 2015
Hi i have a court order in which my ex has moved from London to Wolverhampton,i have gone through The court and gotten a court order to see my daughter every other weekend.now she wants to move to Berton Upon Trend,and thats way fatrther and i cant afford to go any further thats a lng drive for me,the court order has stated that she is suppose to get her ready for me to pick her up in Wolverhampton.what can i do now?
Gymblobby 18 Jun 2015
Hi I split with my ex at the end of 2014 and decided to be amicable because of our twin 5 year old girls. I agreed to be guarantor on her rented property as her wage wouldn't cover it but her benefits more than cover and she has been paying me back regularly every month. I work a 6 on 4 off shift pattern and on my days off and also my leave days I have looked after my girls, it works out I have them 3 days a week. This is a verbal agreement but has been working. My ex has quickly got herself a new partner and are now engaged even though we are not yet divorced fully. As the 6 month rent agreement is nearly over I asked her if her new partner would be guarantor, to this she said you do this for your children and you are not seeing your children again. Can she withdraw access immediately and how is the quickest way of getting to see my girls again?
Hevva 17 Jun 2015
Hi, we are in the process of taking my partners ex to court. We have had regular contact over the last 3 years, however mom stops/starts contact depending on what activities she had planned and won't allow us to take the child (she's 4) to family parties or on holiday or see her properly over Christmas. Now we have requested that we see the child every weekend ,(we work and can only see her at the weekend, mom does not work so sees her every day) 1 weekend Friday-Sunday and week after Friday-Saturday..... We also would like 4 weeks holiday a year. (There are 16 weeks school holidays a year) mom says that's too much. So has stated that contact will be every other weekend Friday-Sunday with 1 weeks hol a year, + 2 extra days and 5 hours over Christmas....... What's the likelihood that we will get what we have requested and is there a minimal contact guideline that we may have to stick to?
susie 5 Jun 2015
Hi, my son has split from his girlfriend, they were living together for 3 years with my 2 year old grandaughter. He was a stay at home dad, caring for her full time, her mum works but spent most of her free time in the pub. Coming home drunk and being abusive, where does my son stand? Will the mother get custody just because shes the mum? My grandaughter spends all her time with my son and us as grandparents.his name was not on the rent book, and she wants him to leave, would the courts grant my son custody if he moved in with us?
vixsmith89 20 May 2015
Hello, My partner recently went to court and was awarded gradual contact with his son, 8, starting with phone calls and building up to skype and then face to face visits. The first phone call went really well, lasted 10 minutes and was full flowing, but since then he has refused to talk to my husband who calls him every week. My husband sent a letter to his son, to try and help build the bond, as calls werent working, but his ex has told him that he refused to read that too. My question is, where does he stand? You cant have any less contact then writing letters!
SeparatedDads Editor 20 May 2015
@LG - you don't say what your own status is. You can check whether you can apply directly yourself via whichYes, you could apply through the courts for a specific issue order, if your son's father is being obstructive. I hope this helps.
Fid 19 May 2015
Hi, I have recently cut contact between my son and his father as advised by the childeren's services. My son asked me to do this as he is scared of his father because he has been physically and verbally abusive towards him since my son started secondary school in September 2014. I have just realised that his father has his passport and when i tried to ask for him to give it back to me he refused. I called police and asked them to help me but all they could do was call him and ask him like i did previously, which he refused again. I would like to take my son on holiday this year as its been a stressfull couple of months for us and he has really been looking forward to it. Is there any way i can get the passport back from him? without going court if possible? I have looked into a "Specific issue order" but before i can apply to court it says i must do mediation? is this correct? please could you advise me on what my options are and what cost's i would be looking at if i was to go ahead with court proceedings. Thank you
LG 16 May 2015
My son and I are facing return to my country of origin. Even though I have been here since the age of 8 now in my mid 30 and all my family are in England. My son's father is now a British citizen and refusing to apply for my son's citizenship. My son is almost six, I have struggled and would automatically be given a form of settlement should his father apply for his British passport. Can a specific issues order be useful in this case?

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