My ex-wife and I have enjoyed a 6-year period of shared responsbility for our 9-year-old twins (a boy and a girl). This is now threatened by my ex-wife and latest husband wanting to live in France for a year from next July with my kids, who will then be 10 years old, nearly 11.
I do not feel the experience of being uprooted to a foreign country, albeit one they have visited many times on hoilday, will be a positve one for them and I feel they will loose out significantly from loss of contact with myself. I have expressed many of these feelings to her to no avail. Our current arrangement is Sunday to Tuesday at their mums, Wednesday to Saturday at mine.
I was unmarried to their mother at birth, but was named on the certificate. I then married the mother and before we divorced returned to the registrar to amend the entry etc. Do I have parental rights and is court the only likely way of resolving this form of dispute?
You obviously have what’s called parental responsibility for your children since the divorce. That gives you a position of some strength, although it’s not as good as you might wish under the circumstances.
Before responding to your ex's relocation plans, it's important to understand exactly where you stand legally using our free Moving Away Rights Checker.
If your ex had sole responsibility, then she’d have no problem moving to France with the children, barring a court order preventing it.
As it stands, then, that doesn’t apply, and she would need your oral or written permission in order to move with the children. If the residence order means the kids spend part of the week with you, then she will need your written consent.
Of course, you have the option to withhold your consent, and it certainly sounds as if you’re not too happy about the situation. But you’d be better served if the two of you can come to a mutual agreement on the situation. Why is that a good idea?
Generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes.
Try our Letter Builder free, here on this site →The simple fact is that your ex can apply to the court to be allowed to take the children abroad, and there’s a fair chance that she’ll be granted permission by the court.
You’d be well advised to talk to your solicitor first to assess your full legal options. If it does come to court, you’ll need to mount good objections to your ex taking the kids abroad to live. Much of that strategy would be on how it affects the kids themselves, since that should be the focus for the court. It’s one that might serve you well, since the court could be encouraged to take testimony from the children themselves.
That’s not good news overall, and certainly not reassuring news, unfortunately. That also makes it a good idea to try to work something out with your ex, if that’s at all possible. Otherwise, there’s going to be even more animosity than there is now, which makes things worse for the children, too.
Keep your tempers in control where you talk to your ex, and keep the focus on the children and what’s best for them. Divorce can be traumatic enough for them, although you’ve all apparently coped with it quite well to date. Keep them at the centre of things, always. We have a longer feature on this subject here.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
In order to prevent her from talking my daughter I need to first go to court to get parental responsibility, the thing she was given because she is female. The argument of "well they give birth so it's obvious they're a parent" doesn't work anymore, the government separated the birth and registration processes so you no longer register the child at birth in the hospital, it is done after the fact in a completely different building by a different department, the woman bringing the child in for registration has just as much evidence she is the mother as the father would. This process will take many months and cost upwards of £30k. How equal. Meanwhile, I am powerless stop her leaving in the meantime.
The dilemma I have is, is it better to bite the bullet and withhold permission for her to take the children out of the country. knowing that I would lose all good will between the wife and I, ending in divorce. Or do I let her go knowing that once the children are settled in France for a year, I have lost any claim that they belong in the UK and she ca, and probably will, keep them there as long as she wants. If we split up and divorce in the UK, can she still win a court order and take them to France anyway?
We are married but when he comes back on holiday I was going to stop him going back.
I am due to take him to Spain in 5 days, he will not hand over the passport unless I pay half towards the passport as he paid for it!
I am our sons main carer.
Please could you advise
I have a complicated Situation. My Wife (filipino citizen, with indefinate leave to remain spousal visa) wants to separate, to which i have no problem with, as the relationship has become difficult, due to her instance on working long hours 12.5 hours per shift, nights and and anywhere up to 72 hours per week, consequently, she is missing out on a great deal of our childrens lives, and the decisions which need to be made eg, school etc (she resents me for making these decisions, but if she wont discuss them with me my hands are tied). we try to include her in everything, but clearly she is exhausted, and possibly depressed, and when you try to speak to her, she often states she is too tired, or is moody or outright rude. We have 2 children of our own, which are both british citizens, and she has a daughter (my step daughter) who is 15 (16 in july) who is filipino, but has been naturalised as a british citizen, but does not yet have a UK passport. Even though i have ammicably accepted her choice to separate, she still remains unhappy, and refuses to be civil with me and her daughter. She sends spiteful and bullying messages to her daughter, who is just about to start taking her exams. She insisists, that as soon as she is able she will return to the philippines. She Proclaims that i can have the children, infront of them. I need to know what options i have over the children, and what protections i can take against her taking them abroad. also, if she does leave without the children, what options if any i have. We have a mortgage, a loan on a car, and we owe money to HMRC, due to her claiming child tax credits, for a year using here income from when on maternity, when she knew our current income would be above the threshhold the following year, this means if she left, i would have difficulty making a claim for assistance even though i would be eligible.
What are the chances of getting the courts to agree to full custody where I can move back to NZ?
In short my wife has lost the plot, going out late which she never used to do, posting weird posts on Facebook, even refusing councilling. To add to this her family are unstable, most of which suffer from depression. We spent the last 18 months living with the parents which was frustrating for me and saw my wife change. Also the in-laws never offered to help look after the kids so it's been 18 months where we haven't really had us time.
In comparison my family in NZ are stable. When we've visited my parents have been really supportive, giving us the space to spend time between the 2 of us. Live in a really nice area with lots of space and a very supportive extended family network. The local school is one of th best in the country.
Job wise I can offer the kids stability as I can move my job over very easily.
My question. Given the hopeless situation here in the UK, how likely would the courts grant full custody so I can move to NZ
I have a FDHR first court hearing next week. My ex wants to move to the country of her origin, USA with my 3 children aged 2,5 and 8. At first I had considered it if she allowed me to have the children over the 3 month USA summer holiday and Xmas holidays here plus unlimited access for when I travel there. Last week however I went to apply for a USA Visa and was refused o doesn't look like I'll be able to travel to the USA any time soon. I have since refused her the right to move to America with the kids and made a Prohibited Steps Order in the case she tries to abduct them, unlikely but cannot take any risks. I have had my boys for 4 nights per week min for about 1.5 years now, I drop them to school am a heavily involved father as well as taking part in weekend activities. I pay for all their household needs and requirements and have done so always. She refuses to communicate directly about the kids and their wellbeing and makes it as difficult as possible for all areas concerning the children. My fear is that the court may allow her the right to leave and move to the USA with my kids even though I have predominately been the primary carer. I guess only the court can decide what is best for the kids. Not long till the first hearing now and will probably need to go to a Final Hearing but I really do not want my kids to live in another country from me. Any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
Child lives with mother and I have a child arrangements order giving me overnight staying contact every weekend
There is a specific instruction in the court order stating Holidays are to be agreed in writing between parents and each to give the other reasonable notice but not less than 3 weeks of flight details/dates/destination etc.
with regards to the above, am i right in assuming to take my son abroad/on holiday the mother needs my consent given that a) i have parental responsibility and b) there is a specific instruction to us in the court order, regarding holidays ("need to be agreed"). and c) as i have overnight staying contact, any holiday would disrupt it therefore needs to be agreed by me/consented.
And if she still takes him without my consent by merely informing me, then is it a breach of court order terms (i.e not agreed) and class as abduction. I know i can apply to stop it via a prohibited steps order but can she still go without consent...regardless
do I have to get her fathers consent seeing as it part of the british islands?
we plan to fly back everyother weekend for her to see her dad and have even book flight for this already. but now her father is getting funny he only see's her everyother weekend now please help
We plan to drop her near grandparents for a while. Is it okey ?? Or we need to take her with us when we relocate? ? I have no idea in this . Kindly please give me necessary details regarding this.
Can anyone advise me on steps to take? What are her rights and chances of a successful application to the court to move them out of the UK?
I was wondering f if you could please help or point me in the right direction of someone who can.
I am an Irish citizen currently living in Sydney. ( I moved here with my ex partner 4 years ago as a de facto 457 visa holder) My ex is from Poland. We met in London 9 years ago.
We have a beautiful two year old daughter whom I adore and we share custody 50/50. I have been minding her since she was born and she has been living at mine (50% of the time) since she was 10 months old.
My ex now wants to return to Poland on the 12th of April 2016 when her visa expires and wants to take Mia back with her. I am unable to work there due to the language barrier and poor salary / job opportunities. Also if my daughter moves there she will end up speaking Polish and I will no longer even be able to even converse with her.
Mia has an amazing life here and as difficult as it is being a single parent and away form family support I think it will be very unfair to break the unbelievably strong bond she has with her dad and I with her. She deserves to see both her parents.
I have engaged a couple of lawyers over here in Australia and so far none of them know what to do other than go to court which could take years and cost as much as AUD $100,000 in fees (according to one lawyer) which I simply don't have.
I would be very grateful if you could please help.
Thanks a million
Rory
Recently, she said she wanted us to write wills, and she said if she died she wanted her sister (who she lives with; and to be fair is a nursery worker) should look after him with me having 'full access'. I was insulted that she should have the power to say something like this!! I kept quiet and didn't argue too much but said I should have him from when he goes to school. She seemed ok with that.
But how come women have so much power and do they really have it?
Another factor, her sister has a dog which bit me last month. I have been worried since about the child being bitten, but she still wanted her sister to have him if she died and the dog currently lives in the house now. I am scared to bring up the dog situation because it's so sensitive and it isn't my house! (The bite was seen and recorded in A and E.) To be fair since this incident the dog has been kept separate when the baby's on the floor.
She is now asking for joint custody. I have heard through the grapevine that she is moving to Dubai with her new partner in a few months time and i am concerned that might take them away from me...
What rights as father do i have about taking them abroad??
I pleaded 'not guilty' as I didn't assaulted her or have been financially controlling her over the years as She alleged.
She applied in the Family Court to take my 2 years old abroad on the permanent basis. My son was born within our marriage, I am British as my son, I presented my son and obviously has my surname. My wife has a permanent job in UK and we have our own flat in town.
She wants to take my son to Sweden where she is come from and want my son get separated from me. I don't know how to speak Swedish, her family don't speak English and they have always discriminated me for my skin colour and persuading my wife to divorce me and to take my only child away to Sweden.
I don't know what to do, I did instruct my solicitor to do a Prohibited Step Order and the Family Court Judge make my wife undertaken of applying for a Swedish Passport as She want's to do until see further evidence of my assault.
The assault I am accused of as well as many of my wife's allegations are a bunch of lies as I occurred by an accident I have never had any Criminal record, sentence or caution of my entire life. In fact, I drove her to hospital by myself as I never imagen she would do such a bad thing.
So far, their are not witnesses or real proofs that I have done that repeatedly as She alleged.
I'm very depressed and distressed, taking strong antidepressants and try to go on as my major concern is loosing my child forever if taken abroad.
I live in london and I have a 8 years old son which I am the primary care .....
I have a new partner which we are thinking to go to Germany ...
I would like to know what could be the best way in case I want to move to germany with my 8 years old son... As my ex makes everything difficult to not let me a happy new life, so he always desagree with my ideas.
There is any way I can do without his permission?
Kindest Regards,
Mos
I am a married woman. Separated 6 months ago. My ex moved to Switzerland and I remained a German citizen in Germany. I want to move back to London. Can I do that with my daughter without his consent?????
she told us she was being abused by my brother and that she was living in fear of him, which resulted in a full family break up before the real truth emerged.
once she knew the truth was out, she threw my brother out, but not before persuading him to change his career and find work and a home almost 100 miles away from their current home.
he had to take the other job, he had no option but to move to the new house, but she refused to go with him, knowing she had planned this.
my brother has been religiously paying her money and visiting the children every weekend, yet she throws him out of the house at every opportunity and has now rang the police saying he has abducted the children on more than 7 occasions, even sending the police to our parents house searching for the children. she has also deadlocked me in the house with her and kept me there for over an hour slating my brother and i actually saw 4 different personallities in her in a few minutes!!
now she has stopped my brother from seeing the children at all yet still demands he pays her every week and is threatening to move them to portugal, telling everyone who will listen that its because she has nobody here and that we have abandoned her!!
my brother hasnt got the court fees, he is just about scraping by week to week, and is almost suicidal with worry about losing his children!!
is there any way he can stop her taking the children without paying horrendous court costs
I do not feel the experience of being uprooted to a foreign country, in fact i do not know where her address in china, also i never met her parents before.
Our current arrangement is Sunday to Tuesday on street.
I married to their mother at birth, but was named on the certificate. I then married the mother and before and we are going to divorce etc. Do I have parental rights and is court the only likely way of resolving this form of dispute?
Last week she dropped a bomb shell.. Se is very career orientated and has been offered a job in New Jersey ( America) . Her company is relocating her out there ASAP. I know I can refuse for my daughter to go but obviously then have to back it up in court. Money is an issue for me. I work hard to keep the roof over my head. the ex doesn't have an issue and will more than happily throw thousands at it to win. The father of the other children has accepted it and is happy for them to go. Please help. Just really really don't know what realisticly will be the outcome... She says I am welcome there anytime and ruby can come back in holidays but it will break me not seeing her on a daily basis as I do now.....also if I fight I'm pretty sure she will make it as hard as possible to see/visit my daughter..
Me and my Swedish ex girlfriend we been living together for 3 years and
I have two children's from her two girls one year and two years
The kids British nationlty and I and mum Swedish
She run way with kids aboard to Sweden and I got no contacts of her she changed her
Number I've report it to police . Not just that's she took all my belongs my car and my iPad
And she steal money from my own account £250
And most important it's My children's .
I've report this to the local police! But seem nothing happening
Any advice? Please help me!!!
We were "abandoned" in a sense too, we were made homeless and I had to file a CSA application to obtain and secure child maintenance from the dad. Perhaps you can try this?
Re the visitation and contact - He is more than likely bluffing you. I have been bluffed so many times, threatened with court action, lawyers letters etc that to date have come to nothing. Not one lawyers letter yet - despite all the talk of them being in the post.
As for unsupervised visits - no way would any court grant unsupervised visits. If you can come to an agreement with him that you are present while he visits the baby then that would be fine (you keep the control there) however, there are also family contact centres in most cities where supervised visits would take place and they are overseen by a professional. Your baby is very young and you have proper concerns and you will be listened to.
Don't let him bully or threaten you. I have lived with the fear that he has all the power - infact that is totally opposite.
If I were you, I'd contact the CSA and claim child maintenance, they keep all your information confidential and they will handle the entire application for you. You don't have to talk to him about it. Ever.
And secondly if you aren't comfortable with this jerk being in your baby's life - don't make any effort - let him run around after you, let him proof he is interessted in your child. They are just bullies!
I live on the Isle of Wight, and have recently noticed that my ex-wife and partener have a `sold' board on her property and have learnt they are intending to move to the mainland, this is obviously a concern to me as it will have a major impact on access to my son. All his family are here on the Isle of Wight, including both sets of grandparents although my ex has had no contact with her own parents since our split nearly 3 years ago, my son sees both his maternal and paternal grandparents through myself only.
If she does move away with her partner and my son, what rights do I have to access??? Will she have to meet me halfway, for instance take my son to the Isle of Wight ferry every fortnight and I return him back home or vice versa??? As he has regular contact with the rest of his family, grandparents, brother etc who all live on the Island affect matters??? What happens if my son does not want to move away and she is adamant that he has to move with her??
I would very much appreciate some help with this.
My ex then informed me that she had met a guy from Seattle, and said that she wanted to relocate to the USA to be with him. Obviously, I was unsure of allowing this because of past trust issues, but I was assured that there would be no problems with communication etc and was manipulated into signing the 'agreement' to let them go.
Now they have been in the states for a few months. When they first moved, and I called my daughter she was very excited to speak with me. Now all of a sudden she does not want to speak with me, which I find very strange - I dont believe that a 5 year old can go from having a loving relationship with her father, to this without any influence from her Mother or her new husband. On top of this, my ex refuses to communicate with me and her husband is trying to dictate to me when I can speak to my daughter etc (also has been constantly telling me that she doesn't love me anymore!).
Obviously the 8 hour time difference, and our working hours make it difficult for me to keep contact at the time he has dictated and they dont seem to take any of this into consideration.
Can anyone please tell me where I stand under British or U.S. law with regards to this as I feel like my hands are tied and I am losing my daughter?? My ex's new husband has even threatened me with "abandonment", which leads me to believe that he is going to attempt to adopt her without my permission (my ex asked if I would let him, and I said no as I felt she rushed into all this - she married him before moving!). Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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