Can I Stop My Ex Moving Our Children Abroad?

Can I Stop My Ex Moving Our Children Abroad?

You obviously have what’s called parental responsibility for your children since the divorce. That gives you a position of some strength, although it’s not as good as you might wish under the circumstances.

If your ex had sole responsibility, then she’d have no problem moving to France with the children, barring a court order preventing it.

As it stands, then, that doesn’t apply, and she would need your oral or written permission in order to move with the children. If the residence order means the kids spend part of the week with you, then she will need your written consent.

Of course, you have the option to withhold your consent, and it certainly sounds as if you’re not too happy about the situation. But you’d be better served if the two of you can come to a mutual agreement on the situation. Why is that a good idea?

The simple fact is that your ex can apply to the court to be allowed to take the children abroad, and there’s a fair chance that she’ll be granted permission by the court.

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You’d be well advised to talk to your solicitor first to assess your full legal options. If it does come to court, you’ll need to mount good objections to your ex taking the kids abroad to live. Much of that strategy would be on how it affects the kids themselves, since that should be the focus for the court. It’s one that might serve you well, since the court could be encouraged to take testimony from the children themselves.

That’s not good news overall, and certainly not reassuring news, unfortunately. That also makes it a good idea to try to work something out with your ex, if that’s at all possible. Otherwise, there’s going to be even more animosity than there is now, which makes things worse for the children, too.

Keep your tempers in control where you talk to your ex, and keep the focus on the children and what’s best for them. Divorce can be traumatic enough for them, although you’ve all apparently coped with it quite well to date. Keep them at the centre of things, always. We have a longer feature on this subject here.

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Ask a Question or Comment
Kev 26 Apr 2023
My ex has threatened to take my child away and live abroad. I am powerless to prevent it from happening due to her having the right to leave me off the birth certificate as she knew that it would grant me equal rights, something she does not want. After all, why would a woman who literally protested with other women for equal pay, want equality when it doesn't result in an improvement in her life. The hypocrisy is appalling. In order to prevent her from talking my daughter I need to first go to court to get parental responsibility, the thing she was given because she is female. The argument of "well they give birth so it's obvious they're a parent" doesn't work anymore, the government separated the birth and registration processes so you no longer register the child at birth in the hospital, it is done after the fact in a completely different building by a different department, the woman bringing the child in for registration has just as much evidence she is the mother as the father would. This process will take many months and cost upwards of £30k. How equal. Meanwhile, I am powerless stop her leaving in the meantime.
UK Dad 31 May 2022
My wife is absolutely determined to take our two children who are 7 and 5 to live in France "for a year" She is French. My son was born in France, Daughter was born in Spain but we have been UK residents since before their birth. We still live all together at the moment and are still married. The problem is that things are not going well between the wife and I and she has made it clear that her long term aspiration is to live in France. She has been secretly applying for Jobs in France, looking at properties and has registered the children into a school. She hasn't shown any flexibility and has dictated she will be going to live in the room above her mother garage.I'm the breadwinner for the family because I don't speak French, we would lose my income if I followed her. The dilemma I have is, is it better to bite the bullet and withhold permission for her to take the children out of the country. knowing that I would lose all good will between the wife and I, ending in divorce. Or do I let her go knowing that once the children are settled in France for a year, I have lost any claim that they belong in the UK and she ca, and probably will, keep them there as long as she wants. If we split up and divorce in the UK, can she still win a court order and take them to France anyway?
Dem 9 Jul 2020
My Ex wife and 3 yr old son went to India for 3 moths in Dec they are now stuck there with no flights because of Covid 19 ,she 1 st went to India to a yoga retreat in Oct for 6 wks which I reluctantly give permission for ,when she returned she said she hade made plans to go back out for 3 months which I totally refused permission for but she still went Because she has applied the 1 st permission to the second trip .i am pretty sure she has no intention of returning when flights start again I speak to my son on Skype every week and to my ex and she dodges questions I ask about coming home ,I’m afraid to push her to much in case she cuts of all communication,then I lose my only child for ever ,where do I stand .?
Frank 31 May 2020
I'm Italian and my partner south African we live in the uk for more than 20 years, we got a 4 years old daughter which has a British nationality and uk passport. My question is can my partner take our daughter to south Africa? My name is on the birth certificate is the joint legal guardian. Can this be stopped to happen, my big fears is that I will never see my daughter again, our bond is so strong that she will suffer from this. Please I need some guidance.
Al 20 May 2020
Hello, has anybody successfully relocated abroad having successfully won via court process in the Uk please? Be good to hear of any successful stories
Sa 30 Jan 2020
I’m currently living in Australia I’m from the UK and my partner is from the UK too we meet in oz had a baby with another on the way but I have to leave him it’s toxic and mentally abusing for me,my unborn child and daughter. he won’t let me leave but I need my family. He is currently trying to get Australian citizens but has not yet. I only have a UK passport my daughter has both. What rights do he have if I leave without his permission? We aren’t married but had a blessing in the UK 6 months ago
Tigermac86 15 Dec 2019
My ex has been looking into moving to America with my 3 sons. I am named on all birth certificates. What/how can I veto this formally so I don't loose my boys. I have regular contact with them as I have them every other weekend.
Lostboz 13 Sep 2019
Hi my wife has taken my 5 year old son to Beijing. He was in school here for one year in reception . I took him to school every day then she come back after 3 month and decided that she wants him in Beijing school but before this she said that he will be educated here. I'm English should I let him be educated in china. We are married but when he comes back on holiday I was going to stop him going back.
Colin 4 Sep 2019
Hello, My ex has married a Swedish man and now they are wanting to move to Sweden with my 6 year old son who I see regularly, I have parental Responsibility and do not want him to go to Sweden, do you have any advice and know of any cases where the father has won and kept the child in England? I'm willing to have him live with me full time if that's what it takes
Joliver 20 Aug 2019
My ex has our 15 year old sons passport as he has just been on holiday with him. I am due to take him to Spain in 5 days, he will not hand over the passport unless I pay half towards the passport as he paid for it! I am our sons main carer. Please could you advise
Ash 15 Aug 2019
My ex and her partner are moving to Scotland. Have I got anything in the law system to stop them moving my children far away? My ex’s partner has been accused of child abuse twice in his previous relationship and this one. Social workers were involved and still involved with the current one can I stop them going to Scotland due to safeguarding the children? Advice is much appreciated thanks
Dadshaverights2 22 Jul 2019
Can a ex ask me to sign permission to take son from nz to Ireland, and say, if I sign it she will never charge me child support?
DUNCAN HEWART 21 Jul 2019
My x is taking kids to Poland for good shespecially getting frend do it it's athe Liverpool please stop them please sohfie hewart and my mera hewart in twork weeks please stop them please
Malaga 13 Jun 2019
Hi I have a daughter of 7 years old, my ex husband doesn't see her and therefore there is no relationship, the only effort he makes where the daughter is concerned, is to keep appealing with the child maintenance about the amount he has to pay. I had good reasons to accept a job in Spain, I have put into place an International British school for my daughter, have rented an apartment to live in and are very much looking forward to this new experience that ill make our life better and give us more quality time. In Uk life is difficult if you are on your on with no family and friends that can help. I have applied to the court to permanently remove my daughter and have our first hearing in July. What chances has my ex husband of stopping us? As I mentioned no relationship and my daughter is not even interested in having one now. Many thanks
Gem 11 Jun 2019
Hi. I have a son with my ex, he is not on the birth papers and he see him like 1 weekend a month as my son doesn’t want to go any more. It used to be every other weekend but my son started to grow out of going. My partner and I would like to move to another country but I worry if we can go or not. We don’t want to stop the relationship between my son and his dad as I feel it’s important but my son doesn’t really care for going to his dads. He is 12. I won’t just go as I feel that’s wrong but I want to live the best ever and we will this would be great for all the family. I can still make sure my ex and son have regular contact and school holidays etc. I worry that he could take me to court and stop us. My ex and my son love each other lots but it’s all half hearted efforts. I just don’t no where I stand.
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Sep 2018
I am sorry to hear this. If your ex left the country with your children and you didn't contest it through the courts at the time, then you have lost the option of taking legal action with regards to possible abduction of your children. You would have to seek legal advice from an international family-law solicitor and unfortunately this will cost as your only option would be to apply to court.
Joe 18 Sep 2018
Hi I was hoping you could advise me. my wife left me without permission to take the two kids to a European country I never agreed but I didn't think I would stand the chance in court. now I use to go there every month to see the children and now she's stopped me for no reason whatsoever. she said that if I come within 5 metres she's going to call the police. she has no reason to do this and I don't know where to start or what to do because I've heard so many horror stories of people spending lots of money and not getting anywhere can you advise me what the best thing to do is I've been nice and tried to reason with her but she has a Vendetta against me
SeparatedDads Editor 8 Jun 2018
Your ex must get the permission from you (if you have parental responsibility) or a court before taking your child abroad
Robicek 8 Jun 2018
Hi i have big isue my ex leaving this countruy sunday whit my 2 kids she live in halifax and im in walsall i dnt knw what to do...i need to stop her asap
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Apr 2018
Your only recourse to object to this once the forms have been signed, is to refer the matter to court. However, there is no guarantee you would be successful. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
J 29 Apr 2018
I’ve sighned forms to go abroad but changed my mind it’s to much not coping and my kids not happy
Dan78 Editor 12 Feb 2018
@T - If you move out with your daughter and become the primary carer, then you will become the main decision maker regarding what nursery care etc your daughter should have. In essence you will become the mum, so will be able to claim benefits such as universal credit etc, until you can find a job and/or nursery carer for your daughter. Think of the future too. If you become the primary carer of your child, and your ex has to move back to her home country once her visa has expired then you will have the better option for your daughter to stay in the UK with you. It might seem difficult currently, but you are only going through what most single mums have gone through for years. Move out, take your daughter and if you can deal with the issues from there as you will be the main decision maker then.
Danny1232 11 Feb 2018
Hi, I have a complicated Situation. My Wife (filipino citizen, with indefinate leave to remain spousal visa) wants to separate, to which i have no problem with, as the relationship has become difficult, due to her instance on working long hours 12.5 hours per shift, nights and and anywhere up to 72 hours per week, consequently, she is missing out on a great deal of our childrens lives, and the decisions which need to be made eg, school etc (she resents me for making these decisions, but if she wont discuss them with me my hands are tied). we try to include her in everything, but clearly she is exhausted, and possibly depressed, and when you try to speak to her, she often states she is too tired, or is moody or outright rude. We have 2 children of our own, which are both british citizens, and she has a daughter (my step daughter) who is 15 (16 in july) who is filipino, but has been naturalised as a british citizen, but does not yet have a UK passport. Even though i have ammicably accepted her choice to separate, she still remains unhappy, and refuses to be civil with me and her daughter. She sends spiteful and bullying messages to her daughter, who is just about to start taking her exams. She insisists, that as soon as she is able she will return to the philippines. She Proclaims that i can have the children, infront of them. I need to know what options i have over the children, and what protections i can take against her taking them abroad. also, if she does leave without the children, what options if any i have. We have a mortgage, a loan on a car, and we owe money to HMRC, due to her claiming child tax credits, for a year using here income from when on maternity, when she knew our current income would be above the threshhold the following year, this means if she left, i would have difficulty making a claim for assistance even though i would be eligible.
Myah's Dad 29 Aug 2017
The mother of my daughter wants to take my daughter who lives with her and her partner out of the area in the UK, to stop me from seeing my daughter. What can I do to stop her.
Myah's Dad 29 Aug 2017
The mother of my daughter wants to move with her partner out of the area. so I can't see her. What can I do to stop her, as I have parental responsibility too.
Kate 27 Aug 2017
A very good friend of mine is still currently living with the woman he has a six year old son with, in April she met a man in America on the internet, since then she had been making plains to live with him and take my friends son with her. A few weeks ago she went to America with their son and his permission for a two week holiday. She has told him that she will be moving to live in America with their son and a man she barely knows, he feels like he can do nothing to stop it but I am hoping their is something he can do. They were never married but he is named on the birth certificate.
SeparatedDads Editor 19 Jun 2017
Much depends upon who is currently the primary carer of your children. Plus, how integrated your children are into British life. It is highly unlikely the courts would move to allow you uproot your children and take them away from their primary carer if their mother is the parent who cares for them on a day-to-day basis. Despite all you can offer, the courts will always opt for consistency and stability first. You may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options - as if the mother of your child does not agree with your suggestions, you would have to apply through court.
KiwiDad 18 Jun 2017
I'm very likely going though this myself but I want to get full custody so I can move the kids 5 and 3 back to NZ. What are the chances of getting the courts to agree to full custody where I can move back to NZ? In short my wife has lost the plot, going out late which she never used to do, posting weird posts on Facebook, even refusing councilling. To add to this her family are unstable, most of which suffer from depression. We spent the last 18 months living with the parents which was frustrating for me and saw my wife change. Also the in-laws never offered to help look after the kids so it's been 18 months where we haven't really had us time. In comparison my family in NZ are stable. When we've visited my parents have been really supportive, giving us the space to spend time between the 2 of us. Live in a really nice area with lots of space and a very supportive extended family network. The local school is one of th best in the country. Job wise I can offer the kids stability as I can move my job over very easily. My question. Given the hopeless situation here in the UK, how likely would the courts grant full custody so I can move to NZ
SeparatedDads Editor 16 May 2017
I'm afraid this is impossible to anticipate what a court will decide, as it will decide only upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. You may wish to seek legal advice to see whether it is worth you applying to officially become the primary carer of your children, especially if they are settled in their school life etc.
SeparatedDads Editor 16 May 2017
If you have parental responsibility of your child and/or are registered on your daughter's birth certificate, your ex would need to seek consent from you to take your child abroad to live. However, if you fear she may try to leave the country without a letter of consent, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice regarding this matter.
syedlfc 15 May 2017
Hi, I have a FDHR first court hearing next week. My ex wants to move to the country of her origin, USA with my 3 children aged 2,5 and 8. At first I had considered it if she allowed me to have the children over the 3 month USA summer holiday and Xmas holidays here plus unlimited access for when I travel there. Last week however I went to apply for a USA Visa and was refused o doesn't look like I'll be able to travel to the USA any time soon. I have since refused her the right to move to America with the kids and made a Prohibited Steps Order in the case she tries to abduct them, unlikely but cannot take any risks. I have had my boys for 4 nights per week min for about 1.5 years now, I drop them to school am a heavily involved father as well as taking part in weekend activities. I pay for all their household needs and requirements and have done so always. She refuses to communicate directly about the kids and their wellbeing and makes it as difficult as possible for all areas concerning the children. My fear is that the court may allow her the right to leave and move to the USA with my kids even though I have predominately been the primary carer. I guess only the court can decide what is best for the kids. Not long till the first hearing now and will probably need to go to a Final Hearing but I really do not want my kids to live in another country from me. Any thoughts and advice would be much appreciated. Thanks
MPF01 15 May 2017
my ex is planning to send my daughter to Colombia to live with her nan, but she is planning this behind my back, what can i do to stop this from happening?
bimma 14 Feb 2017
I have parental responsibility for my son (I am named on birth certificate). he is 2.5 years old. Child lives with mother and I have a child arrangements order giving me overnight staying contact every weekend There is a specific instruction in the court order stating Holidays are to be agreed in writing between parents and each to give the other reasonable notice but not less than 3 weeks of flight details/dates/destination etc. with regards to the above, am i right in assuming to take my son abroad/on holiday the mother needs my consent given that a) i have parental responsibility and b) there is a specific instruction to us in the court order, regarding holidays ("need to be agreed"). and c) as i have overnight staying contact, any holiday would disrupt it therefore needs to be agreed by me/consented. And if she still takes him without my consent by merely informing me, then is it a breach of court order terms (i.e not agreed) and class as abduction. I know i can apply to stop it via a prohibited steps order but can she still go without consent...regardless
SeparatedDads Editor 8 Dec 2016
As specified in the article, your ex would need your oral or written permission in order to move away with the children. However, if you feel your ex may do this without your consent, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. There is no guarantee you will be given the order, much will depend upon whether the judge thinks it is in your children's best interests. Therefore, legal advice would be needed here.
Matt 8 Dec 2016
I met my partner whilst living abroad. We moved back to the UK with our children. One is not mine but I have parental responsibility the is mine. They both have passports and birth certificates and passports of their country of birth so not UK. After the relationship breaking down she wants to move back and take the kids with her. What are my options? Is there anyway I can stop this?
SeparatedDads Editor 7 Nov 2016
Yes, you do have to ask for your ex's consent if he has Parental Responsibility. Otherwise, it will be considered abduction if you remove your child from the country to live without his permission.
need to know 7 Nov 2016
myself and daughter are moving to jersey channel islands with my new partner. do I have to get her fathers consent seeing as it part of the british islands? we plan to fly back everyother weekend for her to see her dad and have even book flight for this already. but now her father is getting funny he only see's her everyother weekend now please help
Susit 2 Nov 2016
My son was born in Cyprus. I am british mother and all british family. My son has cypriot birth certificate and passport. What rights does my babies cypriot father have. He is threatening to go to court and make me travel over. He says he can make our son go to live with him if he wants to?
SeparatedDads Editor 1 Nov 2016
I am sorry to hear this. You would need to seek legal advice. But if you think your partner may leave the country with your children and without your permission (if you have Parental Responsibility) then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. If you are worried about safeguarding your children, local authority social services support families and safeguard children who may be at risk of harm, whether from family members or others. Levels of support can vary within each local authority but they provide support to families who are in need of additional help and support which is unavailable from schools, GPs, other health services, or community-based services. Please see Family Lives link here for more information. I hope this helps.
will 31 Oct 2016
My current partner suffers from bipolar, we lived in spain and when i was out of the country working she left our baby girls(10 days ) by her self , social services where informed and took custody of our 2 girls , i travelled back and after 3 months we got our girls back,she has slipped back into drinking and refusing to accept this is a problem , we moved back to uk for more support, but i feel she is in denial and has persuaded herself she has no part in the problems we face , i can see no other option but to leave as our life is one car crash after another with the girls inthe middle, can social services provide me with some support to help, she abuses alcohol and refuses to accept this has a destroying affect on our family life i have not got the strength to continue on this roller coaster.she wants to return to hercountry , can i stop her from removing our gorl from the uk because of her past history of endangering gorls in another country ??
SeparatedDads Editor 23 Aug 2016
I am sorry to hear this. As specified in the article, if you have parental responsibility for your child, then your partner will have to request your consent in order to move away. If she does move, you will still be responsible for paying child maintenance for your daughter until she reaches school leaving age regardless of her living abroad. If the situation deteriorates and you feel your partner may move away without your consent, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their child. Of course, working it out with your partner is the best option, as is coming to an agreement that will suit you both. I wish you the best of luck.
freeme 23 Aug 2016
Me and my partner have been married for 3 years. We have a 7 month old baby girl. She doesn't want to be with me any more and wants to move back home to cape town. I am scared that once she does i won't see my baby girl again. I am also worried how she will survive as wages are not great there, she has family witch will help her to start with. I don't know what to do. I don't want things to end badly between us and don't particularly want to stop her but i don't feel it would be a good move for our daughter.
Vilu 16 Aug 2016
Hi , I'm married to Marocan but sepreted , he's trying to get my 7 months old son back to Morocco but I don't want too as he was born in the Uk. Also , he was violent and abusive towards us and just wondering who the court give the son or is he gonna have any chances to have him at all ?
Mari Editor 8 Aug 2016
@Donna60 - your ex could be done for abduction if he tries to take your child without consent. Just don't let your child near him if you are in fear, as it's better to try to prevent the situation rather than resolve it. As once out of the country it becomes very difficult to trace a person, especially in Egypt.
Lee 30 Jul 2016
Me and a girlfriend has just split up and I am just woundering how far across the country can she go as I don't drrive thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 30 Jun 2016
You can try. Your ex has to ask for consent from you in order to legally take your children out of the country. If your ex takes your children without this consent, then this will be classed as abduction. If you think your ex may do this without asking, then one option is to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. Alternatively, if you refuse your ex permission then she would have to apply to take the matter to court and the court would weigh up whether the move would be in your children's best interests. Your ex would have to argue why it is, you why it is not. The closer connection you have to your children (i.e seeing them regularly, connections through relatives, school etc) will make a difference regarding what the court may decide. I hope this helps.
Mouse 29 Jun 2016
My ex wife has remarried a serviceman and he wants to apply to be posted to Cyprus for 3 years. They want to take my 2 children but I do not want this as I'll not see them regularly. We've always had an agreement between us that I see them at weekends and holidays. Can I stop them going?
unsure mom 25 Jun 2016
my partner and i have seperated due to personal reasons . he is with his current partner and doesnt really see the children. my question is if i decide to move overseas with my girls, to start a brand new life .. can he say yes do what suits you and then change his mind once things can get sorted such as passports/ tickets?
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Jun 2016
You can check whether there is a reciprocal maintenance agreement from country to country, which if so, would mean payment would still be able to be enforced. Please see REMO link here and a list of REMO countries under the jurisdictionhere.
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Jun 2016
I'm afraid we cannot speculate on this. You would have to prove why the move is in your childrens' best interests and your ex would have to prove why it isn't. The court will make its decision based upon the evidence passed to court via Cafcass (if the court hearing is in the UK). It may be a different system if you are based in a different country.
lucy loo 16 Jun 2016
Hi I have never been married. My child is on my surname and has his passport. We want to move out of cape town to the uk. Does the father still have to pay my sons money every month or can he stop paying. This man has to be asked if he wants to take his son for a weekend. He doesn't visit him and doesn't call. I have todo the calls. I need help
Liz 16 Jun 2016
I have been divorced for three years and have children with my former husband. My current husband accepted a job in Taipei. I have primary residence and my former husband has parenting time during the summer. He does not want me to take them because Taipei is a non Hague Convention. What are my chances of winning in court?
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Jun 2016
As specified in the article, if your husband has parental responsibility under British law you would have to ask his consent. If he refuses, then you would have to take the matter to court and request permission. The court will then decide whether the move is in the best interests of your children. If you take the children without his consent, then you may be charged with abduction. I'm afraid we have no knowledge of Swedish family law, only UK-based family law - you would have to seek legal advice regarding your options while resident in Sweden.
Titch 5 Jun 2016
My husband and I are British living in Sweden. If we were to divorce in Sweden, would I be able to return to the UK with my children?
John 7 May 2016
Hii, I have a question. I and my wife want to relocate to sweden . She got a job in Sweden. But My wife have a daughter aged 16 in her previous marriage. We plan to drop her near grandparents for a while. Is it okey ?? Or we need to take her with us when we relocate? ? I have no idea in this . Kindly please give me necessary details regarding this.
SeparatedDads Editor 4 May 2016
No it is not legal. If your father has parental repsonsibility over his children, then his children's mother should have asked for his consent to move. As she hasn't, this can be classed as abduction, which will explain more. I suggest your father takes some legal advice regarding this matter.
Minky 3 May 2016
My dad was married to a lady they have 2 children both under the age of 5. She doesn't let my dad see them even though he has gone through tests and the children are his. He tried to take her to court but she moved addresses which affected the court date and then now she has left the country to go and live in Africa. We don't know her whereabouts and she has decided she is never going to come back. Is this legal?
Jenny 20 Apr 2016
Hello my ex boyfriend wont send my daughters passport form and never bother with her from birth how do i go about getting passport
SeparatedDads Editor 5 Apr 2016
You would have to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order if you do not give your consent and think your ex may make the move without it. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back.Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. However, there is no guarantee your ex will be stopped from making the move, but it is worth attempting to prove why the move is not in your children's best interests and why they should stay. I hope this helps.
Craig 4 Apr 2016
My ex wife, who I was with 10 years and had 2 children with has informed me that after 2 years with a new fella she's planning on moving to Cyprus. We have joint custody and everything has been pretty amicable until this bombshell. She wants to take my 2 children to Cyprus for 3 years. There are many reasons why they shouldn't go, school education and the timing, seeing family regularly, clubs they're with, friends etc... Can anyone advise me on steps to take? What are her rights and chances of a successful application to the court to move them out of the UK?
Dan 2 Apr 2016
My son has lived with me in spain since he was born my ex partner had him at weekends sometimes now she has left spain and moved back the uk. My son is with me now full time is there anyway I can now get full legal custody of my son as she doesn't pay a penny for him and hasn't contacted me since she has been back in the UK! I don't have lots of money for a lawyer. What is the best move for me to make next?
SeparatedDads Editor 21 Mar 2016
for more information on what consititutes abduction. If your ex has a child arrangement order, then she can take a child abroad for 28 days without the permission of anyone else with parental responsibility.
hedgehog1 20 Mar 2016
My wife and kids have recently travelled to the UK so that she can get her visa extended to stay in South Africa. The kids have all been granted passports in South Africa. She was returning 3 weeks from the date of departure and I signed consent to travel with the for the three week period. She has just avised me that she has no intention of returning with the kids. She has left all of hers and the children's things here and is living with her mum. The conditions there are not ideal as they are all sharing a room. She does not have a job. Here they have a 4 bedroom house and go to private school. Is what she has done against the law?
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Mar 2016
If you have Parental Responsibility, your ex legally has to ask for your consent. Where parents cannot agree and the parent wishing to leave simply takes the child without permission, this is classed as parental child abduction. It is a criminal offence to remove a child from the UK without the permission of the other parent or order of the court (save for where the parent has a residence order and removal is for less than 28 days), please see link: When Your Ex Emigrates With Your Children, here. One option is to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order, which is is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. Therefore, I suggest you seek legal advice regarding this matter. While there is no guarantee the order will be granted, (as the courts will make a judgement based on what it thinks is in your daughter's best interests) - it is your only option to attempt to keep your child in the UK. I hope this helps.
Christ 1 Mar 2016
Hi my ex family lives in France she is there now without my consent but wasn't sure how I could stop her she comes back on Saturday and I'll only see my 10 month old daughter for 2 days out of 24 days. Just sent me a email saying she's going back to France for 2 weeks from 9th April is there anyway I can stop her ? As she's taking her on my weekends and I've had enough of it and don't know where to start ?
SeparatedDads Editor 11 Feb 2016
I'm afraid we cannot advise on your question as we are a UK-based site with knowledge of only UK-based family law. I can only suggest you seek some legal advice. If your ex is considering moving back to Poland, there is a liklihood you may be able to apply for a court order to request that she does not leave the country with your child. However, there is no guarantee the order would be awarded to you, that would be up to the Australian family court to decide.
Ron 11 Feb 2016
Good morning, I was wondering f if you could please help or point me in the right direction of someone who can. I am an Irish citizen currently living in Sydney. ( I moved here with my ex partner 4 years ago as a de facto 457 visa holder) My ex is from Poland. We met in London 9 years ago. We have a beautiful two year old daughter whom I adore and we share custody 50/50. I have been minding her since she was born and she has been living at mine (50% of the time) since she was 10 months old. My ex now wants to return to Poland on the 12th of April 2016 when her visa expires and wants to take Mia back with her. I am unable to work there due to the language barrier and poor salary / job opportunities. Also if my daughter moves there she will end up speaking Polish and I will no longer even be able to even converse with her. Mia has an amazing life here and as difficult as it is being a single parent and away form family support I think it will be very unfair to break the unbelievably strong bond she has with her dad and I with her. She deserves to see both her parents. I have engaged a couple of lawyers over here in Australia and so far none of them know what to do other than go to court which could take years and cost as much as AUD $100,000 in fees (according to one lawyer) which I simply don't have. I would be very grateful if you could please help. Thanks a million Rory
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Feb 2016
I am sorry to hear this. If you have Parental Repsonsibility your partner has to request consent from you. If you do not agree, or think she may leave the country without your consent, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. This is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child/children back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. However, it does not mean you will be granted the order - the courts will assess what it thinks is in your children's best interests and you would have to prove why it is not in their best interests to live abroad and their strong connections to the UK, i.e you, school, family, friends etc.
Clarty76 3 Feb 2016
Me and partner having been living together for 9 years we have 2 boys. One is age 6 and the other one is just over 5 months old. I am from Edinburgh and we live here and my partner is from Sweden. We aren't getting on too well and she wants to move to Sweden with my 2 sons. Where do I stand with parental rights as i don't want to lose my boys?
textbook 25 Jan 2016
I have a one year old son with my girlfriend. We don't live together, but are together. She has changed since we had him and seems to be quite disrespectful to me in comparison to how we were before he was born. I am on the birth certificate and pay £300 a month maintenance. What could she potentially do if we split up? Could she stop me seeing him all together? Could I win custody? I know you can go to caught, but a friend of mine said it wasn't that simple. His friend had a hard time seeing his kids. How come women can have this much power? And is my friend right? Can they actually stop you seeing your son? Recently, she said she wanted us to write wills, and she said if she died she wanted her sister (who she lives with; and to be fair is a nursery worker) should look after him with me having 'full access'. I was insulted that she should have the power to say something like this!! I kept quiet and didn't argue too much but said I should have him from when he goes to school. She seemed ok with that. But how come women have so much power and do they really have it? Another factor, her sister has a dog which bit me last month. I have been worried since about the child being bitten, but she still wanted her sister to have him if she died and the dog currently lives in the house now. I am scared to bring up the dog situation because it's so sensitive and it isn't my house! (The bite was seen and recorded in A and E.) To be fair since this incident the dog has been kept separate when the baby's on the floor.
BarryS 1 Jan 2016
My wife and I live in London and have 2 young children who were born here. She is Spanish, if we divorce I a certain she will try to take them to Spain, I would apply for them to live with me. Can she take them without my consent?
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Sep 2015
I can only suggest you apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. I hope this helps.
raul 8 Sep 2015
Me and my wife were married for 20 something years I always drink alcohol and sometimes use drugs the year 2014 she cheated on me we have a 19 year old son and a 3 year old daughter we were never divorced or only separated she has family in Mexico and I don't want my daughter to go to Mexico we are only separated and I stop her from taking my daughter to Mexico and if she goes she only goes for vacation but I still want my daughter going to Mexico is a very dangerous place what can I do for to stop her from taking her to Mexico I would appreciate your answers to my questions thank you so much
deemi 20 May 2015
my wife who i was married to for 13 years, left me for a younger model 3 years ago. She stopped seeing the kids after that. They have only seen her 3 times in 3 years. She is now asking for joint custody. I have heard through the grapevine that she is moving to Dubai with her new partner in a few months time and i am concerned that might take them away from me... What rights as father do i have about taking them abroad??
Lincoln 2 May 2015
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Bee Editor 26 Mar 2015
@khu - I imagine it carries until they officially reach adulthood at 18, or maybe if it went to court they might rule it at 16, as the child should be able to have an opinion themselves on whether they want to go or not.
khu 23 Mar 2015
I am enquiring for my daughter who is away atm but were trying to find out what the legal age is for a child who she has custody of to be allowed to leave the country and move elsewhere without the fathers permission i cannot seem to find an answer anywhere about age any help would be appreciated thank you
stuckinsweden Editor 30 Oct 2014
@charly. This is common practice in sweden. -because the police/social workers and courts fully entertain this approach. . So probably the reason. Do not allow your children over here.. even with you. You do not stand a chance as a foreigner trying to get anywhere in the legal process here. There are numerous laws here to protect each parents rights and the children's, but they are never used..our children were seperated for 15 months and I didn't get to know our daughter's location for 5 months. In the end, neither the police or cps here will proceed against a swedish national. The prison population is 35% foreigners here. 45% allegedly first or second generation immigrants. Google it. But never fight a custody case over here. Sweden isn't exactly as it portrays itself to the outside world. Very xenophobic. Good luck!
charly 1 Oct 2014
I have been accused by my wife of Assaulting her and got charged for Assaulting by Beating 39. I pleaded 'not guilty' as I didn't assaulted her or have been financially controlling her over the years as She alleged. She applied in the Family Court to take my 2 years old abroad on the permanent basis. My son was born within our marriage, I am British as my son, I presented my son and obviously has my surname. My wife has a permanent job in UK and we have our own flat in town. She wants to take my son to Sweden where she is come from and want my son get separated from me. I don't know how to speak Swedish, her family don't speak English and they have always discriminated me for my skin colour and persuading my wife to divorce me and to take my only child away to Sweden. I don't know what to do, I did instruct my solicitor to do a Prohibited Step Order and the Family Court Judge make my wife undertaken of applying for a Swedish Passport as She want's to do until see further evidence of my assault. The assault I am accused of as well as many of my wife's allegations are a bunch of lies as I occurred by an accident I have never had any Criminal record, sentence or caution of my entire life. In fact, I drove her to hospital by myself as I never imagen she would do such a bad thing. So far, their are not witnesses or real proofs that I have done that repeatedly as She alleged. I'm very depressed and distressed, taking strong antidepressants and try to go on as my major concern is loosing my child forever if taken abroad.
Ana 29 Sep 2014
Hello.. I am separated about 1 year and 7 month .. I live in london and I have a 8 years old son which I am the primary care ..... I have a new partner which we are thinking to go to Germany ... I would like to know what could be the best way in case I want to move to germany with my 8 years old son... As my ex makes everything difficult to not let me a happy new life, so he always desagree with my ideas. There is any way I can do without his permission? Kindest Regards, Mos
Arianna 4 Sep 2014
I m a Canadian living abroad in Italy with three children age 19 , 12 and 13 . I am planning to get seperated from my spouse . He is not agreeing to my children moving with me to Canada . What are the custody laws involving my children who all have dual citizienship ? Are they allowed to decide where they would like to live ? Will the Italian Law let me have custody abroad ?
en 2 Jul 2014
need help please, is zimbabwe country that bad that a judge can refuse leave to remove children basing on its political ,financial instability and crime rate.even if the mom has proof ofGOOD private schools ,good financial income in that country[[bussiness]] and all her family support.she want to leave due to depression to go and recover and be with her family,and is promising to be in touch with me through phone, skype and she will be bringing the kids to uk every summer holidays.and she is going to welcome me if i want to visit in their country,.i know i have been spending less time with kids so it was not a 50/50 contact do i stand any chance to win my kids to stay .i just got an ordinary job on a minimum wage and been paying child support every month
dado Editor 10 Jun 2014
@Alext as you're married I assume you have parental responsibility, therefore your wife will need your consent if she wants to take your child to live abroad. However, just because you don't give your consent doesn't mean she won't be able to go. She could take you to court (or you her) and plead her case to the judge, who will have to consider what is in the best interest of the child. Good Luck!
Alext 10 Jun 2014
My wife is foreign, we still live together at the moment but the marriage looks over, she is threatening to take our child abroad, can I stop her?
Caroljane 30 May 2014
I'm not sure who us giving advice on this site but the article regarding the ex wife who is planning to remove the children to France was appalling!
andy 11 May 2014
My wife relocated our children during separation 150 miles away from me. She did this without my consent and I was unaware that I might be able to challenge this at the time. Afterwards I believed it was too late. When I was able to I also relocated to be closer to the children and so be able to see them more often, which has worked out reasonably well, except I gave up everything else in my life to achieve this. My ex now has plans to relocate again, not quite so far away this time, but still outside the country, which would make it far harder for me to see the children and would also force me to relocate all over again. Is there anything I can do to prevent this happening all over again.
Gaba 9 Apr 2014
Hello I am a married woman. Separated 6 months ago. My ex moved to Switzerland and I remained a German citizen in Germany. I want to move back to London. Can I do that with my daughter without his consent?????
worried sick 28 Mar 2014
at xmas time we found out my brother was secretly being beaten by his partner. they have 2 children, both under 2yrs old at the time and she was threatening to take the children to her family home in portugal if he told us what was happening. she told us she was being abused by my brother and that she was living in fear of him, which resulted in a full family break up before the real truth emerged. once she knew the truth was out, she threw my brother out, but not before persuading him to change his career and find work and a home almost 100 miles away from their current home. he had to take the other job, he had no option but to move to the new house, but she refused to go with him, knowing she had planned this. my brother has been religiously paying her money and visiting the children every weekend, yet she throws him out of the house at every opportunity and has now rang the police saying he has abducted the children on more than 7 occasions, even sending the police to our parents house searching for the children. she has also deadlocked me in the house with her and kept me there for over an hour slating my brother and i actually saw 4 different personallities in her in a few minutes!! now she has stopped my brother from seeing the children at all yet still demands he pays her every week and is threatening to move them to portugal, telling everyone who will listen that its because she has nobody here and that we have abandoned her!! my brother hasnt got the court fees, he is just about scraping by week to week, and is almost suicidal with worry about losing his children!! is there any way he can stop her taking the children without paying horrendous court costs
Al 11 Mar 2014
We are soon to separate and live in Scotland. Do i need my wife's permission to take our children (aged 4 and 7) abroad for a holiday?
Ashy 14 Jun 2013
ADVICE NEEDED URGENTLY PLEASE!!!! - My ex and I have been seperated for over five years and are now divorced. When we first seperated she moved 3hours away but moved back alot closer to me lastyear. Anyhow today I have found that she is planning to move to Zimbabwe with our son. How in the worl can I prevent this from happening? I have offered to look after him full time but she wont allow it. Our son is 7 years of age and will be 8 in Feb 2014. I have PR and have regular contact at the moment with our son (Every other weekend and half of all school holidays. I cant afford solicitors but just dont want to except this. #angry #annoyed #feel like giving up #can any one help? Thank you
stevie.b1986 13 May 2013
My ex partner is moving abroad with her new partner. They are getting married and he is being based in Germany in the army. What are my rights? We have come to an agreement with me seeing the kids. But i obviously would love to have them more and see them more than a few days a month
stevie.b1986 13 May 2013
My ex partnber is moving abtroad with her new partner. they are getting married and he is being based in germany in the army. What are my rights? we have come to an agreement with me seeing the kids. but i obviously would love to have them more
Dano 30 Apr 2013
Question for you?? My ex girlfriend whom I have a 15yr old son with got married moved to another country (Malta) states that she is entitled to nearly half of everything I have. We were never married but my name is on the birth certificate. Since then I got married 7 years and have 2 wonderful kids boy and girl with my wife. The CSA said because she lives in another country and I have 2 kids with my wife I don't have to pay. But I set up a bank account for him which money goes into each month. My exgirlfriend seems to think that she is entitled to more or less everything I own. Any help would be apprieciated
Unique 14 Apr 2013
My ex-wife and I have enjoyed a 19-month period of shared responsbility for our a boy. As she is chinese This is now threatened by my ex-wife wanting to live in china forever. I do not feel the experience of being uprooted to a foreign country, in fact i do not know where her address in china, also i never met her parents before. Our current arrangement is Sunday to Tuesday on street. I married to their mother at birth, but was named on the certificate. I then married the mother and before and we are going to divorce etc. Do I have parental rights and is court the only likely way of resolving this form of dispute?
lockandleave 12 Apr 2013
You have shared your great experience with us. This is so heart touching. Thanks for sharing.
darrenR 22 Mar 2013
Myself and my ex wife split four years ago after only five years of marriage,when we met she had two small children aged 4 and aged 6months I became a father to them( not legally) we then had a child between us . She was born in 2006 . Myself and the ex are now divorced and all legalities done with ( 18 months ago). My ex wife had clinical depression when we met and it continued thru our relationship. Lots of things arose during our marriage thus coming to an end.We became friends again some time ago ( not in a relationship way) Four weeks ago she split from her partner of 6 months. and I was there as always to pick up the pieces.. She went to the doctors to "up" the dose of anti depressants and informed them that she was suicidal and couldn't cope with anything and that "the kids would be better in care" . I have always played a massive part in my daughters life she is very much a daddys girl and even the ex says that . She is with me 50% of the time and I fulfill all duties of fatherhood.! My Ex has actually told me that I'm the best ex husband anybody could wish for not just with my child but with the other two step kids as well . They often come and stay with me ( usually when it suits her).. Last week she dropped a bomb shell.. Se is very career orientated and has been offered a job in New Jersey ( America) . Her company is relocating her out there ASAP. I know I can refuse for my daughter to go but obviously then have to back it up in court. Money is an issue for me. I work hard to keep the roof over my head. the ex doesn't have an issue and will more than happily throw thousands at it to win. The father of the other children has accepted it and is happy for them to go. Please help. Just really really don't know what realisticly will be the outcome... She says I am welcome there anytime and ruby can come back in holidays but it will break me not seeing her on a daily basis as I do now.....also if I fight I'm pretty sure she will make it as hard as possible to see/visit my daughter..
raceybear 28 Jan 2013
I have an 18 year old boy, 16 year old girl and a 14 year old boy. Their father is on the birth certificates but we never married. When he moved out he got £20000 which we had to get another mortgage for to pay off his debts apparently. We had been living at same address with children but not 'together' as a couple for at least a year. The relationship had become very violent. Now myself and my current fiancee want to take all of the children with us in the hope of a better future for all. Unfortunately for me, the present situation is devastating. The 18 year old is now sxaying that he wants gto stay here and although I know that I cannot force him to come. I am struggling to see why. His dad lives very close and has only ever seen them alternate weekends and for a coupl of very cheap weeks holidays since moving out. My son has no employment and never has had. He admits that his dad does not attmpt to encourage him to find work but that is the first person he is thinking about living with if we go. My mother also lives very closer but we have never got on. Although my son also says that she has never played a positve part in his life so far, he would even consider asking if he could stay with her. I am very upset and feel like I have failed big time. He would have so much more by staying with us and his negativity is affecting his younger brother. Can anyone help please?!!
Jay 8 Jan 2013
I would like to find out what is the south african law regarding taking kids to go live overseas.I have been divorced for 6 years and have full custody of my children. My ex husband only takes my children every 2nd weekend if he has to and doesnt really spend time with them as he works night shift and sleeps in the day. He complains when he has to spend more on the kids than his monthly maintenance contribution. I would like to find out if I need his consent if I decide to migrate to another country.
Ben 7 Jan 2013
Hi,I have been divorced from my ex for 10 years now, we have a 13 year old daughter who I see every weekend. Me and my daughter are 'joined at the hip' we are VERY close and we both realse the amazing bond we have together.Her mother has two other children an 18 year old boy from a relationship before me and an 8 year old girl with her current husband. Her current husband is a multi millionaire, and my daughter has all the trappings of a millionaire lifestyle (horses, swimming pool, tennis court, massive house, private school etc). Her mother is.well.a vindictive, malicious, conniving, control freak who will just wont give up (she left me for him by the way!)At every opportunity she is asking me for money, money she dosn't need, just to degrade me (school skiiing trips and my daughters private dentist bill for her braces are the latest two) because I have no way of affording them. I have a less than average wage at the moment.The latest saga is that she has told me that they are planning to move to Austrailia!!! So, she has told me that I have to sign a visa application that allows her to take her out of the country permanently, If I dont sign? she will take me to court and make my life VERY difficult indeed, she will also stop me seeing my daughter.She told me this last night after I tried to set up a 'mediation' session at her house. I walked into her house with my partner of 10 years.she grabbed hold of her a physically threw her out of the house, swearing and trying to punch her saying she is not her mother and that this has nothing to do with her! I have talked to my daughter and she says she dosn't want to go. Her mother realises the bond between us and that she probably wont want to go but her I know she will try to persuade her and will use the fact that they have spent thousands and thousands of pounds on her education so she cant come and live with me and go to a state comprehensive school. If they do go it will be bang in the middle of her exams (she'll be about 16), I was wondering if I could put a caveat on the visa application that stops her going before her 16/18 birthday? I really dont know what to do, my daughters mother is an animal and I dont think my daughter has the fight in her at such a young age to tell her to 'take a hike'. I cant afford a lawyer and I dont apply for legal aid by the way! :(
Sami 3 Jan 2013
Hi Me and my Swedish ex girlfriend we been living together for 3 years and I have two children's from her two girls one year and two years The kids British nationlty and I and mum Swedish She run way with kids aboard to Sweden and I got no contacts of her she changed her Number I've report it to police . Not just that's she took all my belongs my car and my iPad And she steal money from my own account £250 And most important it's My children's . I've report this to the local police! But seem nothing happening Any advice? Please help me!!!
nickwood 4 Nov 2012
Me and my girlfriend seperated 8 months ago. I have him 3 times a week, or as and when its convianiant to her. She has since meet a dutch man who works within in her company and he lives in denmark, she now wants to relocate to denmark, taking him away from hes family and school. how can I prevent this from happening.
jaxmum 2 Sep 2012
Hi Mi, I doubt that you have anything to worry about. I am going through a very similar process at the moment with my baby's dad. We were "abandoned" in a sense too, we were made homeless and I had to file a CSA application to obtain and secure child maintenance from the dad. Perhaps you can try this? Re the visitation and contact - He is more than likely bluffing you. I have been bluffed so many times, threatened with court action, lawyers letters etc that to date have come to nothing. Not one lawyers letter yet - despite all the talk of them being in the post. As for unsupervised visits - no way would any court grant unsupervised visits. If you can come to an agreement with him that you are present while he visits the baby then that would be fine (you keep the control there) however, there are also family contact centres in most cities where supervised visits would take place and they are overseen by a professional. Your baby is very young and you have proper concerns and you will be listened to. Don't let him bully or threaten you. I have lived with the fear that he has all the power - infact that is totally opposite. If I were you, I'd contact the CSA and claim child maintenance, they keep all your information confidential and they will handle the entire application for you. You don't have to talk to him about it. Ever. And secondly if you aren't comfortable with this jerk being in your baby's life - don't make any effort - let him run around after you, let him proof he is interessted in your child. They are just bullies!
mi 17 Aug 2012
I have got a question.I am Polish(currently living in rep.of ireland),i ve got a 9mnths old son with an irishman.we are not longer together,i moved out 180 km away from where he lives as I m back to work over there.He abandoned us.never was there for us and I was literally told by his family that he didnt want to lead a family life with me.i wanted to go back home as there was no point me staying over in ireland when the babys father had shown not much interest.I decided to go back to work tho and give him another chance as a father.well,he is failing again as in 4 months since we left he s come up to see the Baby 4 or 5 times,stopped supporting me financialy even tho the deal was he was gona help me out to make a living in his country instead of having to travel to poland to see the child.Now I m not in touch with him but I heard his going to take me to court over the access to The Baby.i dont understand- it doesnt look like he s keen to see his child at all,he s not supporting us financialy,has got his family against me.I would never let him to take my son away without my supervision(not yet anyway when he s so tiny and mom-dependent),especially when he knows nothing about him as he s not seeing much of him.the child is not a toy,it has to be bonded with the person who intends to bring him away from his mother and so on.There s few things about him which for me might affect the Babys general wellbeing- he s driving licence was taken away for drinking drivind few years ago and he s done the same once when visiting the child(unfortunately didnt get cought),he s mentaly unstable,very temperamental,suffered brain haemorrage 2,5 years ago,he CAN NOT read and write.lives with his mother in a house provided by housing authorities.The list of "concerns" is long.My question is - is he gona be granted unsupervised access to our son?This would kill me.
Beata Ferreira 25 Jul 2012
Hi, my ex husband left me when I was pregnant with our second child. It was 5 years ago. My boyfriend who I met 3 years ago is living abroad and we would like to move out with my kids from UK to live with him. I was in mediation process with my ex husband and I mentioned our wish to move. I even offered that instead of paying me child maintenance he would use the money to travel in order to visit the kids. Unfortunately mediation broke down as my former husband wanted me to pay chidrens flight tickets to see their father. In mean while my former husband took me to the court to get order for visits. After the first hearing I got court order and children going to see their father as a 'must', they are not happy with it, they don't want to go to see him and are not happy with him. I know that children visits should be in their best interest and their are not and children come upset after each visit and I'm not able to do anything as the court order is in place and I shouldn't break it. I found out as well that m ex husband was hiding a child for 5 years, he betrade me when we were still married. What can I do to leave country with children and what can I do if children are not happy after visits with their father. My older son is 12 year old and can speak by himself to prove it?
heartbroken 8 May 2012
My brothers ex girlfriend broke up with him the day before she gave birth to their daughter. For 18 months she has allowed him to see the baby on and off, but since she never put him on the birth certificate, so he has no legal rights. Now she has taken the baby abroad and cut all contact with him, so he now feels that he will never see his little girl again. What can we do? I know we need a dna test, but how can we get one when we dont know where she is?
Stan Editor 4 May 2012
@lee, your daughter's father could apply to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order, which would prevent you from taking your daughter to Canada without getting permission from the court. However, because of your daughter's age the court will take into account that she wants to go to Canada.
lee 4 May 2012
Hi I have a child at 12 and I also have 2 other children I have a new partner wh I have been with for 8 years and he comes from canada we would like to move there as he has family there but my 12 year old lives half the week with me amd half with her father and he is objecting for me to take her but she is aderment that she wants to come wiyh us so do I have a good chance of taking her with us thanks.
aidos 25 Apr 2012
. I am trying to find out some information for my brother. my brother has gone away on holiday, the first day he was away his ex girldfriend phone and told us she has moven to rep ireland with there son. my brother dose not know of this yet as he is out of touch. i am trying to get the ball rolling for him until he gets back and can sort arrange what to do? Dose he have rights as the father of the child?
B 19 Mar 2012
My ex girlfriend wants to move to her home country and take my 3 year old daughter with her. I have told her, I will not give her my authority but I think she will do it anyway. I would like to know where the law stands on this. She stopped me from seeing my daughter 8 months ago and we have a pending court case for me to try and get access to my daughter.
couragous 19 Mar 2012
To all of those comments made complaining about having to pay maintenance to your ex's (whether they be male or female); let me tell you a child is not a commodity. Regardless of where they live or how often the absent parent gets to see them; or what the new responsibilities of the absent parent might now be. The fact remains that a resident (especially lone resident) parent forfiets a lot more than the absent one. Firstly; the first priority of the resident parent is to care for the child(ren) and should that mean wanting to be a stay at home mum/father on part time earnings if that is best for the child then so be it. 'Sponging' of the absent parent to fund the lifestyle of the resident parent does not exist. It's impossible. There can never be such a thing because the child and the resident parent live together, where/how the resident parent lives, the child lives too. In most cases the absebnt parent is the one who leaves the family they made behind only to go and start another; so it rather makes my stomach churn when the abandoned parent tries to make another life for her/himself and the child(ren) and the ex and the ex's new partner bleet on about their continuing financial obligations to supporting the child the absent and resident parent made retrospectively. You make a child together with someone, it's a lifelong responsibility to make sure the 'ship carrying the cargo' is just as well looked after as the cargo. You remove respect and support and isolate and disrespect the one person carrying out the most important job of then all, the other suffers collateral damage. They come hand in hand - making a baby is not a business arrangement you walk away from. If the ship sinks so does the cargo.
JAN 18 Mar 2012
Me and my daughter want to move to spain when she leaves school, her father hasnt seen her for 3 years and dusnt bother with her all because he had to have surpervised contact because of his violent past and he is an alcholic but I no if he gets wind of our move he will kick up a stink , would he be able to put a stop on our move ??
heartbroken father 28 Feb 2012
The law needs to be changed, this is ridiculous!
Crs 20 Feb 2012
My 14 year old has just chosen to live with her father. He spoils her rotten. We were not married until my daughter was a small child. She was born in Scotland. My ex was named on birth certificate. My ex now wants to move away from the area even though he threatened me with a prohibited steps order when I wanted to move an hour away from my present location - I did not move in the end. My 12 year old son who lives with me would end up travelling to see his dad. Can I stop this move? Also - if my ex goes on holiday can he leave my daughter at home alone or with stepmum (who does not have parental rights and drinks - recently being admitted into hospital as was so drunk she was unconscious and my daughter rang 999. What are my rights with older children?
shes 17 Feb 2012
My son in law (G)'s ex took their son to BELFAST, from where she came, without G's permission when they split up. they now live there and she will not move a cm to give him access to the boy. puts all obsticles in the way. is this abduction please ? G cannot afford to fight anymore. this has gone on for nearly five years. G's mother has access but is not allowed to mention or take gifts from G for his own son.
Kissez 13 Feb 2012
Im not married with the dad of my baby and my baby still hasnt been born we've had so many problems because of his other baby moms shes been putting things on his head and hes been making my life horrible. Ive been having pain because of the stress that they are putting me on. I want to get away and move to puerto rico is there a way that he can stop me from moving out there ?
scissors_clippers 31 Jan 2012
Ive been left my ex partner for 3 and a bit years now and my 3yr old daughter has always lived with me. She use to have contact with her dad but he was always unreliable. After 6 months of no contact with him at all, since Christmas my daughter now sees her dad at a contact centre for both our safety. I'm with an American and there is a chance we may have to leave the uk but that wouldn't be til 2014. Is there anyways my ex could stop me from leaving with my daughter even if I offered him to come to America to visit and see her and if I was to travel back home. So that way everyone gets to see her. Could he stop me?
gagsy63 29 Jan 2012
My ex recently moved to China and I consented to my 13 year old son moving with her, she has also married her partner and he has moved there as well, I heard from my daughter that my ex is earning in excess of £75,ooo per year, double what she was in UK ( POSSIBLY TAX FREE ). What do I now have to pay her if she has moved out of Europe and is earning so much, I currently pay £400 per month which includes my 18 year old daughter in full time education in UK.
Chris 24 Jan 2012
I live and work in the UK and am a UK citizen. My ex-wife is a French citizen living and working in Germany. We separated three years ago and have two children. I relocated back to the UK in 2009 in search of work as I was working freelance in Germany. The divorce was finalised in December 2010. While I was in Germany I saw my children most days and due to physical abuse from my ex-wife and working on low wage I relocated back to the UK. I secured full-time work in February 2011 and since moving back to the UK I visited my children once a month until the divorce was finalised and had to commence paying the benefit payments under the Dusseldorfer Tabelle I could only afford to visit once every other month or every 6-7 weeks but for longer periods. I also have been able to have the children for two weeks in the summer holidays. However, I remarried in March 2011 have a child on the way. As a result my ex-wife wishes to sue me for more money. What are my options?
tom 19 Jan 2012
Hi, I am a father of 6 years boy and now I am moving back to Italy. ( I am living in London at the moment since 2009)Since 2009 Iam a single father and I am supporting my son giving some money to her mother. I just want to know how much would be good to give for supporting my son due in a few months I will move to Italy.thank you tom
Alexandra 16 Jan 2012
Hi. I have a question. my ex husband is ok with moving abroad with my 6 year old. This is only temporarily as he is looking to move there in 2 years time. apart from his oral consent do I still need his written consent?
singlemum 16 Jan 2012
Hello. I am the single mother of a four year old girl. Her father lives a six hour drive away from us and does not pay child support. He was an abusive alcoholic when I was with him and he currently has a child molestation charge against him for a girlfriend's daughter. I am going to family court to get permission to relocate to the US as I am a citizen here. My question is, with my daughter being an Australian citizen, what is required for her to be made an American citizen or resident? Will the American government require me to have full custody or court orders giving me permission to relocate? Any help would be very much appreciated.
dodogrande 14 Jan 2012
If you have parental responsibility (were married or had the child after 2001 if unmarried) then consent is required from one parent for the other to take the child out of the country. An appeal must be lodge as soon as possible before 5 years. I am no solicitor but have has my child abducted from UK to Italy. Unfortunately I found this information too late to help me. I hope it can help some of you.
IanT 20 Dec 2011
I wonder if you could give me some advice and guidence in relation to potential access problems to my 12yr old son, who stays with me on a regular basis and have a fantastic relationship with. I live on the Isle of Wight, and have recently noticed that my ex-wife and partener have a `sold' board on her property and have learnt they are intending to move to the mainland, this is obviously a concern to me as it will have a major impact on access to my son. All his family are here on the Isle of Wight, including both sets of grandparents although my ex has had no contact with her own parents since our split nearly 3 years ago, my son sees both his maternal and paternal grandparents through myself only. If she does move away with her partner and my son, what rights do I have to access??? Will she have to meet me halfway, for instance take my son to the Isle of Wight ferry every fortnight and I return him back home or vice versa??? As he has regular contact with the rest of his family, grandparents, brother etc who all live on the Island affect matters??? What happens if my son does not want to move away and she is adamant that he has to move with her?? I would very much appreciate some help with this.
kangood 27 Nov 2011
Hi, iv just found out my ex is taking my 5 yr old daughter abroad in 2 days to live without telling me, very extreme I know. I have been having my daughter every other weekend and recently every weekend for the past 6 weeks due to her wanting to go out which I dont mind at all more time with my child. I have found out she has sold all her belongings,car, furniture etc and her new boyfriend of 4 months has also done the same and she has also been telling my daughter not to tell me things which is quite cynical, how im feeling right now can not be described, im on the birth certificate I do not pay maitenance as the mother spends it on herself so I buy new clothes when my daughter needs them, school clothes, shoes,trainers etc, surely this is a form of kidnap and I can stop this from happening. I really need some advice asap thank you
della 29 Oct 2011
i am wanting to moveback to UK to be with my only family,i live in australia atm,i have 3 children age 16 who doesnt have anything to do with her dad and to twin boys who are 12 in janurary only one of the boys sees their dad the other refuses.thier dad got arrested 5yrs ago for downloading children porn also having pictures of children in his home.he is not the greatest of parents.i want to go home i have been here since 1995 but need to go home now i have never liked australia i have only stayed here for the children,when will the stupid court system listen to what i want and also the children i get told its 11 then 12 it seems the law changes when it suits them.
momof3 27 Oct 2011
My divorce was concluded last year. we had a lengthy court case over access, he was granted the access he wanted, i was granted full residency. since then, he has moved to germany as he is in the army. he wrote to the court and told them he no longer needed the contact agreement we had, and no longer wanted to pursue the case as he had moved country and since remarried to the girl he left me for. they now have two children together. i have also remarried to my partner who has brought up my son since he was 13 months old, he is now 4. we now have two daughters. my new husband is also in the army, and my worry is that if we get posted abroad, which looks quite likely for next year, could my ex stop us taking my son even though he himself is in the forces and lives abroad? he threatened me with such action today, he basically told me unless i give him access whenever he asks for it, he will drag me back to court and make sure myself and my husband are not able to ever move with my son, meaning as a family we would be separated. can he really do this being in the army and living abroad himself? and for the record, i have not ever stopped him seeing our son, my only debate today was him demanding to have him on my husbands only leave before he goes to afghan when we want to be together for the last time in six months, this he should have understood since he returned from there himself a few days ago. please help me, i don't want to fight over my son, i don't want arguments, all i want is for everyone to agree together.
SeparatedDads 1 Aug 2011
Even though you have shared responsibilty for your children, your ex isn’t legally obliged to live near you. Living this distance away will no doubt mean that you don't get to see your kids as much. You might need to apply for a change in your Contact Order, but this can be a gruelling procedure, not to mention expensive, since you’ll want to have a solicitor to represent you. You will still be expected to Pay Child Support as before.
gonty 31 Jul 2011
Can my ex girlfriend move 70 miles away as she says she is looking for work there even tho I have full parental rights? Won in court 2 years ago. I have my son 2 nights a week overnight plus another evening from 5-9pm, I have him on easter, summer, October & xmas breaks and have paid over 40 pounds a month extra in child maintenance since splitting 6 years ago as a good will gesture to help with hew financial situation.
Rachel 26 Jul 2011
Does my partner need to continue paying child maintenance? My partner pays over £500 pcm to his ex-wife in child maintenance, 20% of his nett income for his two daughters aged 11 and 6. The court order states that he is to pay child maintenance in accordance with the CSA regulations although he does not pay through the CSA. Last week he was informed that his ex indends to take the children to Switzerland to live permanently within the next few months. Should she be successful in this will he still have to pay this child maintenance? Can she get a Swiss court order for child maintenance, the divorce took place in this country? I have looked on various sites including the CSA's and am being given conflicting opinions. We really cannot afford any more solicitor's fees to find out as we already have lost over £30,000 to legal fees just getting contact orders which his ex has broken repeatedly! Sadly we now have no contact.It is not the case that we do not want to support his children we would just prefer to do it in a way which benefits them directly i.e. paying for swimming lessons, music lessons, school trips etc directly instead of giving money to their mother which she sadly spends solely on herself, all her living costs are already covered as she is on benefits anyway! I am aware we could not do that in this country but would it be possible if she does move to Switzereland?We would both be most grateful for any advice.
Little Rainy 16 Jun 2011
Can I ask you from a fathers point of view what you think about my situation please? I have been divorced around 9 years (separated 10). My ex husband has never paid me any maintenance. He moved to Spain around 6 years ago to run some sort of holiday business which runs around 6 months of the year. He has no home in the UK and when he does return he expects to be able turn up and see the kids whenever it he wants. To keep the peace I just go with it as he sees them maybe twice a month for a couple of hours. I'm getting married to my American fiance and plan to move there early next year. My ex husband has totally refused consent and told me the kids are staying put. They want to go (ages 14, 11 and 18). I'm having to now use my hard earned savings to get an agreement through the courts and I think its unfair that he pays nothing, suns it up living a single mans life abroad most of the year and can still have parental rights and hold us back. We will have a much improved lifestyle in USA and we have chosen an area with great schools. What do you think?
Chris 15 Jun 2011
Hi, I have a 5 year old daughter with my ex girlfriend and we broke up a few years ago. Despite this, I stayed in the same city as them so I could continue having a strong relationship with my daughter. Since we broke up, my ex has done everything possible to try and faze me out of the relationship with my little girl. After lengthy visits to solicitors and mediators, I finally thought things were getting easier and it didn't have to go as far as court. I saw my daughter every other weekend, and more often if possible and also paid Child Support as well as paying into a Child Trust Fund account for when she is older. My ex then informed me that she had met a guy from Seattle, and said that she wanted to relocate to the USA to be with him. Obviously, I was unsure of allowing this because of past trust issues, but I was assured that there would be no problems with communication etc and was manipulated into signing the 'agreement' to let them go. Now they have been in the states for a few months. When they first moved, and I called my daughter she was very excited to speak with me. Now all of a sudden she does not want to speak with me, which I find very strange - I dont believe that a 5 year old can go from having a loving relationship with her father, to this without any influence from her Mother or her new husband. On top of this, my ex refuses to communicate with me and her husband is trying to dictate to me when I can speak to my daughter etc (also has been constantly telling me that she doesn't love me anymore!). Obviously the 8 hour time difference, and our working hours make it difficult for me to keep contact at the time he has dictated and they dont seem to take any of this into consideration. Can anyone please tell me where I stand under British or U.S. law with regards to this as I feel like my hands are tied and I am losing my daughter?? My ex's new husband has even threatened me with "abandonment", which leads me to believe that he is going to attempt to adopt her without my permission (my ex asked if I would let him, and I said no as I felt she rushed into all this - she married him before moving!). Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Marcus 13 Jun 2011
It's the 21st century and men are just as capable of looking after a child as women when are the courts going to realise that they have to start doing there job instead of taking the pay cheque and simply siding with Mum to make their lives easier. Women have far too much power and I think a taste of their own medicine is required I.E if they decide to move abroad they have to leave the kids behind when Dad disagrees with their decision and that means ban them fullstop no applications for leave to remove from the jurisdiction just a straight up answer of NO. Should my ex get to remove my child I will be making a residency application so she has to return to fight through the courts as the American immigration laws state that she cannot live there until the residency issue is resolved.
drew 11 Apr 2011
Hi, my ex wife has stated that SHE needs a new start and is thinking of moving away closer to her new partner, 2 months, and taking my 3 young daughters out of there school to where they know nobody and have no family support. I have them 3 nights per week, but this would significantly reduce when she moves. I know all 3 of my girs would be devastated. There are no Contact Orders in place and I pay happily through the CSA, which is a funny story in itself (shes getting less after threatening CSA than what I was happy to pay voluntarily) etc, but I gave up my home to allow them to keep their house, now this. Do I have any options?

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