We all know that lives change. In a society that’s become more and more mobile, moving homes, moving cities and even countries, has become fairly commonplace. But if your kids live with your former partner and she has to move away, how do you deal with that?
Before you agree to any arrangements or take further action, it's important to understand your legal position using our free Moving Away Rights Checker.
The move could be work related, or perhaps because her new partner has a job somewhere else, at the other end of the country. What are the ramifications?
Within The UK
An awful lot is going to depend on the type of relationship you have with your ex. If it’s good, then when she moves you’ll be able to re-negotiate contact with your children. It might be that you don’t see them as often, but when you do it’s for a longer period.
If they’ve been spending a few nights a week with you, it can be especially bad, since you won’t have their presence regularly, which you’re used to. But your ex isn’t legally obliged to live near you.
If the relationship is bad, you might need to apply for a change in your Contact Order. This can be a gruelling procedure, not to mention expensive, since you’ll want to have a solicitor to represent you, although you may be able to come to an Agreement Through Mediation. You will still be expected to Pay Child Support as before.
Understand your rights if your ex wants to relocate with the children. Takes 1 minute.
Try our Moving Away Rights Checker free, here on this site →Emotional Impact
Perhaps the biggest factor to deal with is the emotional impact. You should arrange plenty of phone contact with your children, daily if at all possible, so they still feel that you’re involved in their lives (and so you feel that way, too) and try to see them as often as possible. If you can arrange a trip to see them once a month, that’s good, but not economically viable for many people.
School holidays would be the best time to see them, when you might be able to have them for a week – or even several weeks in the summer, if you can negotiate this. Of course, wonderful as it sounds, the practicalities can be real obstacles; after all, you still have to work, and there’s only so much holiday time you can take each year. You need to try to find a balance that works for you.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Going Abroad
But what happens if your ex wants to Move Abroad with your kids? She might be a foreign national, for example, and want to move home, or she might have married someone from another country and be moving. What can you do in the situation where your kids are taken even farther away from you?
Essentially, you have two choices. You can either accept the fact and come to some agreement about when the children can spend time with you or you can fight the move in the courts. If you follow the first route and come to an agreement, have it in writing and legally validated. It should include the number of visits per year and their length. Also, make sure to include who is responsible for airfares, which can avoid tumultuous arguments later. If you’re paying child support, you should try to have a provision saying you don’t have to pay for the period the kids are living with you.
Should you choose to fight the move in court, you will be battling for custody of your kids. This is only going to work if you have parental responsibility for the children (that is, if you’re named as the father on the birth certificate or have a parental responsibility agreement). If not, it’s not worth the effort, because you won’t win.
Rather than the distress this will cause you, what you’ll need to show is how it will adversely affect the kids. If the proposed move is to a non English-speaking country, for example, and your children are in school and have grown up speaking English, you’ll want to cite that – especially if they are in their early teens. You’ll need to develop a valid argument, preferably several, and be well represented in court.
If your ex does move the kids overseas, you’ll feel the loss even more than if they’re just elsewhere in the UK. Use as many different methods of contact as you can to keep in touch with them, daily if possible. It’s not an ideal substitute, but it really is better than nothing at all.
I wrote a post on here a couple of years ago now and it’s heartbreaking to read some of the situations a lot of people are in.
Unfortunately as a father, help from any services you are reluctant and empathy is a rarity!
Nobody should have to put up with any form of abuse whatsoever - especially when children are in the mix (or sometimes used to hurt the other party).
I had to take to mediation to sort issues out, fortunately things have calmed down and my ex and I get on together, however sometimes I do get patronised or borderline insulted if she doesn’t agree with my parenting!
I do feel dads have to put up and bear the brunt of bad press, abuse and are frequently demonised as I myself have been for doing the best for my kids.
I have been very polite and kept things cordial even through the abuse my ex has directed at me.
Always always keep calm, don’t let your emotions get the better of you, chin up and be the most upstanding person you can-set a good example!
You can only do your best for your kids.
Never give up on them!
His ex has always been a depressed and Avis I’ve partner whilst they were together. He stayed for the benefit of the children (now 8&3) until they were old enough to know who their dad was.
That was 2 years ago now, since then she had been on and off with allowing contact, sometime not being home after he has driven to collect them.
Over lockdown he did not see them all year and their mother blocked all communication to their dad. He ended up going to their school once they reopened to try and catch a glimpse of them their and speak to their mother.
After a few times of not seeing them leave school he went to the office and was told that school was also concerned and that they’d do checks. In the meantime, my brother accessed an old social media account of his to find a tirade of abusive and worrying message from her threatening to move away and take the kids if he didn’t break up with his new girlfriend, calling him names, saying she was pregnant to another man whom she is scared of it anted my brother to collect her from his house and that she wasn’t supposed to be on the phone and had locked herself in his bathroom to send the message and saying that she has been telling the kids their dad has a new girlfriend and doesn’t care about them. ??
Her family and friends said they didn’t know where they were either and so we reported them missing. Since then they have been shown to the police safe and well and know that her parents are in full contact all along.
My brother on the off chance went by the house days after getting nowhere with school or her parents and being blocked and saw her car outside, he tried to speak to the kids through the letter box which came off its hinges. Her mother called to say she’d rang the police so he left. All the while not knowing why she is withholding the children. He was arrested on suspicion of harassment (he had to visit the house because she had blocked his number and no one would tell him where the kids were) and criminal damage for breaking the letter box (even though the police said they saw in cctv he tried to fix it!) He explained her messages, abuse and everything to the police who have said they will investigate.
This is where it gets nasty - she has made FALSE allegations of domestic assault and had herself and the children moved to a refuge to get a house move and relocate with the children. We believe she is has mental health issues (which she admits herself in one of the messages and is on medication) and that she is bitter that my brother has moved on! One of her vicious messages saying “you can see your kids when you get a new girlfriend” - We have had no contact or support from any services ie social care or cafcas, school had said they won’t comment and the police are saying the same. His parental rights are being infringed and it seem none is the slight bit phased.
He had parental responsibility for the kids and is being treated li
With current custody order in place were have my kids every weekend and i do every other Monday school drop off at current moment but with ex wife impending relocation 2 hours away my kids cant be expected to be up at 5am for 2 hour drive to school..
She doesn’t want to change arrangements as it would mean giving up weekends and social life up
Geeps 25 May 20. What did you advise best in this situation?
Can a county court judge really impose this much authority over my free will and if so what rights do I have to appeal?
My ex as stopped me seeing them for no reason and I’ve gotta wright a letter to the judge by next week also gotta give my ex a copy buts she’s moved and left no contact number.
I’m due back in court soon
Kind regards
I’m now married and we are moving to Northern Ireland this December. My mum is now worried I’d have to tell him I’m moving, but we’ve had 0 contact since 2011 and I have no clue how to let him know anyway. Do I still need to try somehow??
The child lives with me the child is 12 and the other parent doesn’t drive what’s my legal stance on ex partner lifting child.
Law is an ass, and when it stop allowing women to take the piss the way they do, our world will be a better place. I haven’t seen my children for over 4 weeks and went round to see them, only to find they have moved. That’s great now what do I do now...
It has majorly upset my daughter and I have concerns over the effect it is having on her and her schooling, as at present she is excelling!
I know mediation won’t work and I’m not shore what legally I can do??
Can anyone please help??
Thanks.
I have a 7 year old daughter who lives with my ex wife. My ex has a partner with whom she has 2 other children under 3 years old.
She has just informed me they wish to move to a new area 200 miles away to be close to her extended family, citing improved quality of life for my daughter, and support from her parents.
After we separated nearly 5 years ago my ex moved from our shared home to a new town 70 miles away, without seeking my permission or telling me until the last minute. I bought a house the following year in the next town to where she lived specifically to be close to my daughter and to provide us with a stable home life on her visits and have had access in the form of one overnight stay with my daughter every second weekend since, and we reached a good equilibrium. My work does not allow me to move away from where I live, it is not portable, and buying a house in the new area does not seem feasible.
This new proposed move will therefore severely impact the time my daughter can spend with me- either I will have to travel there and find lodging in a hotel or air bnb (financially prohibitive), or my daughter will have to perform a 200 mile round trip every other weekend to maintain current levels of contact.
I have parental responsibility, please could you tell me what my rights are, and can I prevent the proposed move, and can she push it through via courts?
Also, in anticipating that she will likely be allowed to move, can you give me any advice as to my rights about travel expenses and hotel/air bnb costs or my ability to demand my ex share travel time/cost with me? Can I deduct costs from child maintenance, or claim costs back?
Pleased to hear, thank you!
My sons dad is saying he is taking me to court for moving away and says he can't travel to get his son due to having another child which is why I said I would travel every two weeks with my son
I don't know what to do as I'm wanting to move to make mine and my sons life better as there is nothing where I live for my son to do and I can't find work where I live that is flexible around school hours
Any advice on what to do ladies
The father refuses to travel and drop her off on sundays saying we have to travel to collect.
His responsibility is two weekends a month.....
We do everything else IE fetch carry school etc etc .
He moved away from the town after the split which was his choice.
Every Sunday becomes a slog where we have to negotiate with him to pick her up as he won’t Travel to us.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that perhaps we aught to take responsibility and travel.
He only has 6 nights a month to deal with.
my ex and I separated in 2011, we have two boys together - 13 and 9.
she has done everything in her power to keep them away from me, she changed her landline number, she would take away the ipad i bought for the younger kid so we can facetime, she would take a way the older boy's mobile phone for weeks at a time.
now she has decided to move them to Nigeria, put them in school and she has returned to the country.
The solicitors claim they can do very little because Nigeria is not a member state of the Hague Convention treaty.
Please, what are my options?
The ex went away to Scotland for school half term this week and has decided not to return home. This is a total shock and very upsetting for my partner. I know he has parental rights for his biological daughters as he is on their birth certificates but not for his ex’s daughter.
We are unsure of his rights - I understand he can apply for a court order but after reading the Gov website there is a requirement to attend mediation beforehand, what happens if the ex doesn’t agree to mediation?
Can you apply for a court order without mediation?
Does my partner have any rights over his non-biological daughter? Or can he obtain rights?
I’m not sure what the girls will do about school as I don’t think she has informed their current schools. Should my partner contact the school?
My Ex partner has moved, without telling me, and now I have no idea where my daughter is, she has always made contact as difficult as. Possible, and the last time I saw my daughter was over twelve months ago.
I have no idea where to send court papers to get her back in to court
Does anyone. Know if I apply for. Court on her old. Address if the court will track her down... Or will they simply return my application and say its the incorrect address.
I can't believe she's just allowed to do this
Many thanks
Mark
I have been with my girlfriend for 15 years and have a 4 year old and a 6 year old (year 2). I am English, she is Scottish. She moved to England for me when we got together and has always missed her family and wanted to move back ther, which I don’t want to do.
She has no family around her here so if she stayed here she would be on her own bringing up our kids. My family are really close by but are elderly and unable to help out on a regular basis. My siblings rarely see my kids despite living locally.
Can my girlfriend take my kids to live in Scotland with her even though I have parental responsibility? I have had gambling problems and didn’t take help despite my partner asking me too and am worried that will affect my power to stop her movin. Any advice would be gratefully received. Thanks
Me and my ex wife divorce almost 2 years ago, she agreed to have my daughter full time.
I agreed to let her see her daughter every now and than because she had plans to marry some on in Ireland.
Later on she asked me to if she could take her to Ireland with her until she starts school, i! I've been talking to my daughter every other day, she promised to bring her back and has been making excuses, end off she isn't answering any calls even blocked me.
What do I do know?
What are my rights in this.
Please advice.
My ex wife has a record for disorderly and verbally abusive behaviour and I have concerns for the welfare of our daughter with her and her new partner. My ex wife also has a son of 14 years to another father who she rarely has contact with due to her volatile behaviour.
What are my options as a father to prevent her taking the child to another UK location.
Any advice please.
My wife has recently had a breakdown and tried to take her own life. She went to stay with her dad in a different area to get the support she needed to get better - and is currently still there. I have remained in the house with our three girls aged 4, 7 and 10. There school is here and friends and my family. I am considering going for custody - with the hope I will get full residency -
Does anyone know of similar stories - Will I have a chance or will she e more likely to win residency.
Is simply preventing the move not an option?
She also has 3 other children with two other partners after me she is no longer with them either.
She has now met a new partner and been with him 2 months which is 1.5 hours away. He seems to treat them all well and I am happy for her.
However she informed me 2 days ago that she is planning to move in with the new partner on August 6th. 4 weeks away. My daughter doesn't know this information yet.
I am concerned about her past history with her relationships and the fact my daughter is due to join her new high school (where she lives now) in September. My ex is suggesting that nothing will change with the amount me and my daughter see each other. But the logistics just don't add up.
If the very fresh relationship fails where does that leave my daughter?
I suggested that my daughter could ask to live with me but she says that's not an option?
My ex and the new partner have 7 kids between them and they are planning on moving into a 3 bedroom house for the time being another worry.
I am concerned that all of this is not in my daughters best interest as she will have no family where the are planning to move to. I'm pulling my hair out worrying about this and how short the timescales are that she plans to do it.
If my daughter wants to live with me then surely my ex cant stop her, with both have parental responsibilities.
I have only recently (days) separated after 8 years with my partner discovering she was having an affair. We have a 6 year old.
I am concerned living in England that my ex may attempt to move back to Northern Ireland where her family are. We have lived in engalnd the past 8 years, my child has been schooled here since birth.
Where do I stand? Help!
My ex is in a new relationship as am I, my concern is that her new partner lives in another city and she will move in with her new partner and take my son. Where do I stand on this?
Around 3 weeks ago my wife announced to me she had feelings for someone else and this other person had confirmed his feelings for her. This has really shocked me to my core. I had to go to doctors straight away and get counselling sorted, I couldn’t function. Although I am still angry and upset my feelings have now turned towards how we arrange childcare for our 5 year old son.
A week ago today she moved out of our family home with our son to live with her parents (we tried living under the same roof but we couldn’t do it) what I am concerned about now is she can leave my son with her parents at any time she likes to socialise with her new person. Previously She has been going out late at night to a local studio (that this guy owns and runs) and This has been carrying on for a long time. Sometimes she was not Coming back till gone 1am in the morning and I was looking after our son at that time. I don’t think she is putting the boy first because she is out 3-4 times every week to rehearse with various bands. I don’t think it’s fair or morally right if im not informed who EXACTLY is putting our son to bed and looking after regardless of mother / grandparent. I feel as if I have become completely disempowered. She has already been trying to say how school holidays will work in the future. She doesn’t earn enough money to support herself and so has to use her parents home as a base. I briefly suggested she and our son can live in the house and I will move out - that means she would have to parent him consistently, i sense the only reason she is staying at her parents is to get free childcare. I just would like some advice on this please. I have emailed CAB and had some free legal advice but this is the 7th night in a row I haven’t been able to put my son to bed and Be there at night for him etc thanks
My wife and I are currently in the process of separating, and have three children under 10. She's Australian by birth, but we met and made our lives together here in the UK.
Although this isn't something we've talked about, am I right in understanding from the above that should she choose to move back to Australia, and take the children with her, there's nothing I can do about it, unless I fight for full custody?
Like I said, while this isn't something that's been suggested, the thought fills me wth absolute horror. Would I have no rights whatsoever to stop this?
Any help would be appriciated.
My fiancé and I are looking to move from England to Ireland. She has a two year old boy from a previous relationship and he would obviously be coming to. She is also pregnant with our child at the moment and is one of the reasons we want to move as I am from there. I have got a job lined up in Ireland (more money than what I am on) and have family all around us when we move there.
Can the dad of the two year old stop this ?
And if it went to the courts would it not be in my fiancé’s favour as she is the day to day carer and the ex partner only sees the child once every two weeks ?
Would it be any different if we where married as we plan on getting married quite soon ?
Herewith I would like to find out something.
My husband have a daughter of 9 years and he's ex wife decided to move as her new boyfriend got a new job.
The probleme is the ex wife did not inform my husband that she is taking the child out of school and that she us moving what can he do legaly?
Thank you
I need to advice, I moved away with my daughter with the backing of her father my ex partner. We have mostly shared the drop off and pick up but it’s been increasingly me having to fit around times and the day he can do when he has access to a car. As the resident parent, who is responsible for picking up and dropping of my daughter and can I stipulate times (6pm on a Sunday as she has school and he lives over an hour away). Thanks for any help
We currently have a child arrangement order but this will be void once she moves.
She is a very manipulative person.
•So the advice I’m after is what, if anything, will the court award me in terms of contact?
•Can my case be sped up as she is moving in just over a month?
stand with Child maintenance when they Move as my obligation to pay through the child maintenance service ceases but her lawyer says my obligation to pay the sum should be paid directly to her and they will pass on those details in due course?
I'm after a little bit of advice me and my ex split over a year ago and she wanted to move over 300miles from me with our child
After a number of court days an order was made that we have shared custody of our child and she was not a lot to relocate
And had to wait 10 months and she was aloud to re apply
My question is if she re applies what are the chances of a judge granting it
I gave my ex permission to move to Australia with my daughter on a temporary basis. We had an amicable relationship and she has always allowed me contact whenever I like. As we were amicable, we never defined exactly how long. She has been there for 6 months and now wants to continue to stay. I have said she has been away for long enough now and she no longer has my permission to stay away. Am I able to make her come back to the UK with our child?
My partner and I had an baby on the uk 6 months ago.
I am uk citizen and the baby has a uk passport. She has a eu passport.
She has been suffering from post natal depression and we are in her home country. She has now said she wants to recover in her home country but had no timescale when she wants to come back. I obviously want her to recover but am concerned if she decides she wants to stay permanently and what my rights are as I am unable to stay due to my work commitments in the uk.
what are my options?
do I have a right to see my daughter?
I am currently not paying CSA as I have been unemployed and it is in arrears, however it is in the process of being taken from my benefits. does this effect my right to see my daughter?
there is also the fact that my daughter may not be ready to see me, she's 10 years old.
any advice is appreciated.
Thanks.
We have decided to move 1.5hrs away due to a job opportunity for my partner that will allow us a better quality of life. We informed her ex by email that this was a possibility 3 weeks ago (when it became a option we were seriously considering) and have now informed him that we are going ahead with the plan. We have offered to bring the child to him every fortnight so that their time together does not change, and said we will obviously look at longer periods and how they will be facilitated on a time by time basis.
We want to move before the child starts school in September.
As was expected, the ex isn't happy that we are moving.
What is the law in this situation?
I can't keep going back to this, I can't keep dragging my children through it.
I have decided I want to move away to Cornwall to be with my family as I have no family support network where I live now (we live in the east midlands).
I just wondered if I have to have my ex husbands permission to take the children or if he could stop me from doing this?
Now my ex has informed me that it is her intent to move back to her native New Zealand at some time in near future taking the children with her.
We are not yet divorced and are still working through finacial arrangements with a mediator.
Obviously i am keen to continue having a relationship with my children but this is possibly the worst move i can think of given time zone and geographical distance.
While i am trying to keep the separation as amicable as possible this suggestion from my ex has really made life uncomfortable and i am not sure how to proceed in discussions with her both from a financial perspective and from a legal stand point.
What are my options for maintaining contact with the children and what are my future financial options given that i will be spending a lot of money each year just to keep in touch.
I'll lose all contact time with her in the week as I'll never be able to do a 6hrs trip just to see her after school. Can I ask her to meet me half way for pickups and drop offs because that'll be 12hrs out of my 48hr window of cantact time, just in travelling. Not to mention fuel costs and wear and tear on the car. I have a pretty good relationship with my ex but I was wondering if there are any reasonable guidelines that I could ask her for?
My partner and I need to move as we can no longer afford the area we live in. We have been going into debt and our son having to share a bedroom with us. I have a daughter with another man he lives some distance from us at the moment but works near so has been ok with the picking up and dropping off. I also need to apply for her secondary school in oct so need to move within catchment and for my son who I need to apply for reception place in Jan. We looked at areas within a localish radius but couldn't find affordable housing and good schools. We have had to look further away. It has been a very long process with alot to consider and manage. We recently found an area which is 126 miles from his house. Our current house is 47 miles from his. We have suggested that we meet half way and the timings of the journey for him would be 15 mins less. Also have asked how the Sunday sleepover can be made up. He does work away and regularly misses contact with his daughter as he travels overseas. He has had reg contact with her since she was 4 but has never lived with her. She is now 10 does that give her any say? He was aware of the planning and seeemed fine but the last few days has said he refuses to consent to any school or any move. What do we do Re her education? We have to move as cannot pay the rent where we are and I need to arrange school and nursery for my son. Is doesn't seem right that he can refuse her an education and will need resolving. Can someone stop a family moving so he can keep an arrangement that is for his convenience as the change would still maintain the contact? . Please can you let me know what the law says, time frames Re PSO and costs likely should it go to court as well as how long the process would take. Many thanks
Me and my ex partner separate last year in October. He left me because he didn't want the second child ( still pregnant. 36 weeks ).
Now I would like to move back to Germany, as I'm from there. Our first kid is 18 month now, and my question would be. Am I aloud to move abroad with my kids? Like, do I need his permission to take the kids with me? As soon as our second kid is born, I was gonna move back. ( reason because I would have more help over in Germany and would be around my family. ) not strong arguments I know, but over here im not entitled to anything and back I Germany I would be.
Since he left me back in October he hasn't bothered with our daughter much ( got it written down I a diary ) and I think it would be best for our kids to life in Germany with me. I can just give them a better life over there then here.
Help please?
I've been separated from my partner now for 4 years, we have a son together. When we separated she moved back to her home town in south wales (130 miles away). Since then I have been making the round trip every 4-6 weeks on the weekends to have him stay with me for those couple of days. But recently I have had to surrender my driving license due to medical reasons and may not have it back for some time. I asked her whether she could start picking him up from my house at the end of the weekend as i could arrange to pick him up from hers but not to get him home again. I have parental responsibility and whilst I didn't put up much of a fight when she left and took him (and 90% of my furniture i'll add) I certainly didn't give consent for him to go. I have spoken to a solicitor about the situation and been told that under the circumstances that half of the responsibility for travel should fall on her, however she is being very difficult to say the least (withholding access, verbal abuse, unreasonable behavior etc), so I'm really just wondering where I stand legally and whether or not I'm barking up trees in pursuing this through the courts.
My soon to be ex could be heading to live back with her parents and my boys 150 miles away
We're on good terms and I guess I would see them every fortnight.the prospective cost of having to drive so far to bring them home to take them back again frightens me! A potential 600 mile round trip every other weekend unless I stay up there in hotels with them! Again at a huge cost
Is my wife legally supposed to meet me half way? Or do I have to drive an the way to get them
I don't think she will b willing to meet me halfway as it's my fault she's divorcing me
I currently live in the village where the girls attend school but work 25 miles away. Their Mother lives in the next village. I am planning to move closer to work, approx 20 miles from their school. This won't impact on my ability to pick up/drop off or I wouldn't consider it. The ex has now announced her intention to move 75 miles south. This would curtail my time with them significantly.
From reading this very helpful site I understand that I should be considered to have parental responsibility and as such should be able to at least challenge the move. She has no family or friends or even a job at this point where she is planning to move and has a history of mental health issues which I hope would help my case.
My concerns are that by moving i may prejudice my position in the eyes of the court if they consider me to have left the area? (In reality moving raises the possibility that I could have the girls full time as i could then juggle school runs and work)
In addition I allowed her to divorce me as at the time I didn't want to deal with solicitors, might this affect my rights?
I've been separated from my partner for 7 years now and he sees his son every other weekend . I would like to relocate within the uk with our son who is 9 and still stick to the every other weekend as dont want to stop any access but was told yesterday that I cannot move anywhere without the fathers consent? Please would you be able to advise me any further information many thanks .
I changed it to the weekend either Friday to Saturday then the week after Saturday night to Sunday night. This worked for a while but he wasn't happy as he "wanted a life" he wanted every second weekend, so I complied as it's whatever is best for our son (4years old)
I was also supplying him clothes, toys etc every month to keep at his. (Or his fathers as he doesn't have his own home or a separate bed for our son)
He drives and I don't. He stays under 10 minutes drive away (or anything up to an hour on public transport) he recently demanded that I start dropping out son off to him on his weekends and picking him up as it wasn't fair on him (not our son) having to do this once a fortnight. I have came to an agreement that his dad picks up our son from nursery on the Friday and he drops him at my sister (5 minutes drive from him...by she stays further from me) and she now drives down to me and my sons home with him.
He doesn't ask about his progress at nursery or any of the groups he is in (art and sport) when our son does something bad he laughs and gets angry when our son misbehaves and doesn't understand the impact of his example.
(He allowed my son to defecate on a pavement) and still thinks it is funny)
So here is my problem: I'm moving away. To a stunning area (my area isn't the greatest) with a very select school. Absolutely better lifestyle for my son. It is 59 miles away now. I am going to even offer half the cost petrol money on his weekends. And Skype and phone calls as many nights as he wants. I will be telling him soon. I just don't know how to approach this. He is a very emotional angry man so I feel that arranging mediation to speak about this would be the best way forward. I'm just looking for confirmation that I am following all the correct procedures and I haven't missed anything really?
My girlfriend is currently pregnant with our first child.
She is from Ireland and moved over here 2 1/2 yrs ago. She has struggled with the pregnancy from the early stages with hyperemesis gravidarum and recently become more depressed, stating she wishes to move back to Ireland as that is where her family is.
We live together in the UK and i have a job that I am unable to move away from or transfer, nor do I wish to.
I also have no wish to move to Ireland.
I'm led to believe I can stop her moving back to Ireland without my consent on the birth of the child, is this true and what other rights do I have to ensure that I do not lose access to my first born?
I am having huge problems getting to see my children. My ex is being very awkward and has now moved house without providing me with a forwarding address. I have now ceased maintenance payments because of this.
Can you give me some advice what to do. The maintenance agreement was done via a court order so I will now be in contempt of court, which will obviously make things worse.
HELP!
Is there anything she can do to stop me from moving to another country?
Anyway we live in the southeast and she is secretly planning to move to Scotland with my two children Girl 6 and boy twelve - to get away from any contact with me.
She is taking her mum and dad with her, both of whom are not in the best of health and wont live that long - sadly the grandfather has COPD.
I'm very close to them both and don't see how it can work if she moves 500 or more miles away.
I know you will say get a PSO, but my question is: long term is it likely she will be able to do it. I think she is trying to build a case that they are not safe with me. i.e. I can never see them. I don't see how she will make that stick- but I don't have any money to fight something like that.
I moved to Norway about 5 months living in there and have to go back to Uk to safeguard my son from harm and maltreatment from his dad. My x have the residence order , social worker and police is involved about my x parental care. To make story short , ive got my son back in my care have to go back to court to get my residence order and i have been but my x did not attend. Judge have issued Prohibited steps order to my x husband that he cannot remove my son from my care. Secondly , he says in the order that my son is a citizen of England it is a criminal offense to take him out of the country. We are due to go back to court again as my x did not attend . Im stuck in England , i have started my life in norway and i have a fiancee there. Is there a chance to change that second order that I can take him abroad? What shall i say to the judge on the next hearing? My x had said to my sons social worker hes got nothing to do with my son anymore. Is this my chance? By the way, my x is charged of an assault to my son and is on police bail conditions. Pls im desperate my son loves the idea to go live with me in Norway he said he feels more safe there but im stuck with this second order that i cannot take him out. Pls help
To keep my ordeal short. My ex disappeared to the US while we were still battling access in court regarding my 2 daughters aged 5 and 1. The social worker in charge was aware she has been going to the US embassy but did not inform and further helped her with flight fare. As painful as that was, the US embassy issued an emergency passports for my kids and waved my parental right. As weird as all this sound, I am also confused as to the best actions to take and if I am ever going to see my kids .
please your kind advice will be much appreciated.
p.s: I will be going to the high court to start the battle . I have also contacted the US authorities who are dealing with it too
I am a divorced father of two boys aged 6 and 3. I have PR for both children and currently see my boys 2 to 3 nights a week as well as taking to school/nursery one or twice a week. I play an active role in their lives and schooling, and have a very strong bond with them. My ex has recently been made redundant is selling the family home and has decided to move 3 hours away. She doesn't have any real reason to move where she is planning to as she is going to live off her redundancy and the sale of her property in London for the initial period. She isn't even moving there for another partner, it is close to her mum and has a very good school ideal for my eldest. She is arguing this is in the best interest of the children and she won't have to work and can spend all her times with them. My relationship with the boys will be impacted, and my contact reduced to every other weekend and school holidays. I am absolutely devastated as she has no reason to move that far away, especially in light of the closeness of my relationship with them. I am trying to mediate with her but have told her that I will impose a PSO if she doesn't get my consent, especially as she planned the sale of the house without my consent (found out through my son) and has brainwashed the children into accepting they are going to be moving there and will have a dog, garden and trampoline. I truly believe being far from me is not in their best interest, and educational options are available everywhere. Do you know of any court cases where a judge has imposed a PSO based on a move away from their dad would not be in the best interest of the children?
If they were to move access realistically would be 3 to 4 times a year at best. Regardless of the fact I could be free of the mortgage and finally get my equity back, that would mean nothing if I can't see my son every week.
Please help, i know my son does not want to feel like he has to chose and I know he would not go against her wishes as she manipulates him. I want to support him but I don't feel I can't just let him go either!
looking for any advice possible much appreciated, my ex moved from Ireland to Germany without telling me whilst she was pregnant, has cut all contact with me and is refusing any access or mediation, I don't know where she is exactly in germany, my name isn't on the birth cert (we weren't together for very long) and I have never seen my now 6 montyh old son, I live in Ireland but have british passport......any ideas how or where I can go about getting access?????
Whis gna beblooking after him when shes in work etc.to say im gutted is an understatement.i will prob only get to see him every other weekend now because of distance.people suggest mediation but ive been told by police not to contact her.HELP one desperate dad her
I have just found out she is relocating about 2 and a half hours away, she was trying to keep this from me but my eldest told me.
Now when I say regular contact I have my boys 14 nights a month and have done from pretty much the start of our break up.
I need some advice as all the money I have is plumbed into my private rented flat just so that I can have them as much as I do.
Where do I stand as I feel moving these boys from their schools and all their friends and family and their dad will throw their little lives in to chaos.
I can't afford courts and legal aid has gone now I am at my wits end. Any help would be appreciated
My sons father and i split up last november as he was very controlling and manipulative. we have a beautiful son who is 3 years old. My sons father is now in a healthy relationship as am i. i have announced that i am moving in with my partner which is 54 minutes from where my sons father lives. we had an agreement in place where he was to have contact with our son tues,thurs and saturdays but was sent to work away in london 4 months ago to which he now has contact once a fortnight because of this. this works well and i have put my son in full time day nursery as i am doing my degree at university.
since announcing the move i have received a letter from his solicitor stating i reconsider my wishes and he does not want me to move due to reasons such as his current day nursery, maternal and paternal family. i have reassured him i shall meet him half way and our son will have contact with all members of family and ontact with him will not change and if he wishes he can pick harry up from nursery and take him for tea and contact with his friends at the nursery he is currently in will still happen.
we attended our first mediation session yesterday and after two hours he refused further mediation and has requested courts on the grounds of me not moving.
i plan to move out on the 26/10. Am i still able to move even though all this is happening? it hasn't quite reached courts yet but i am concerned if i move before it does it may look bad on me. i want to move because i want to settle myself and my son and for financial reasons and get away from all of this stress so my son and i can continue with our lives stress free with of course contact with his father on his days.
We have a contact order already which states Thursday to Saturday each week and half the school holidays.
If we move away, over night stays on school nights will no longer be possible. I know he will fight me all the way to court. What would they be likely to rule? Every other weekend? Holidays?
I relocated to South Wales from North Wales to be with family.
maintaining the contact in person and via skype.
I have moved to Germany to work and visit Uk every approx 12 weeks, where my ex allows me on average 2 hours with my daughter.
I pay for the internet and supplied an iphone for FaceTime. I am lucky to get a sms each month.
My most recent trip I requested more time with my daughter and also suggested the zoo.
So arriving in the Uk arriving at the pre arranged place, I find my daughter not there and my ex saying that I am no longer allowed access to my daughter and never contact her again. If she ever asks about me then she may tell her.
As I live in Germany would love some advice on how to regain access?
Need to see if the English courts can deal with it and contact a Scottish lawyer, I didn't think it would have mattered?
My question is how likely would it be that the judge would allow this unilateral move considering we are located in a very family orientated community and the kids are in one of the best schools (ranking wise) in Ontario. What steps or ideas can I take to make sure that my ex can't uproot the children.
The situation is very complicated and I feel like commuting suicide as I have no idea what to do and I'm not coping with the stress. I'm a South African national and my wife is Italian, we have been happily married since 2006. In this time we had 2 beautiful children, a 6 year old girl and a 2 year old boy. I love them so much and can't stand the thought of not being with them. A week ago my beautiful wife told me out of the blue that she's doesn't love me any more and wants me out of her life. I'm not very wealthy and only rent of 2 bedroom property, she stopped working after my doughter was born and I have been the sole provider for the family. I own a small property maintenance company and I work very very hard to give my children the best life I possibly can. She now expects me to move out and find my own room. She expects me to pay for the rental property and all bills and give them spending money otherwise she will go to the counsel and request a counsel property. Only a week after she told me that she doesn't love me any more some other guy came to pick her and my 2 children up in the morning and dropped them off in the evening, this really hurt me as I done nothing wrong from the first place. Heres where things get complicated... I being a non EU national is dependant on her EU nationality as a family member of a EU citizen, my children both have Italian passports and I fear that if I don't become a slave and pay everything for her I would loose everything as she would simply divorce me and I would have no right to stay in the UK. I don't want to carry on with life but the thought of not seeing my children is the only thing that keeps me going for now. Please help me I'm at the end of the rope now
We both now have new partners and have up until recently been on good terms but out of nowhere suddenly she wants to move 30 miles away to "be closer to her family" but happens to be where her new partner lives.
Since we split up we have had an arrangement (verbal agreement only as amicable) as I work 4 days on 4 days off that i have them on my days off.. Now I love this as I see a lot of my children and couldn't imagine life not being the same but if she moves which she is threatening to do I would have to do a school run of 120 miles a day (there and back twice) up to 4 days a week and as my ex knows I do not have the finances for this and so she just said well just see them on the weekends you have off... this will likely be only once a month and not what I want at all... What can I do?
However she is now telling me to sign over the tenancy of the flat to her and that I have to leave, she had not really contributed to food, bills rent or anything in the two and a half years we have been here. Apparently if I don't sign over the flat she is threatening to leave with my son and go to a hostel. She knows I don't want my son in a hostel, I feel like I should be the one to keep him with me as everything is under my name and she freely admits to keeping him only to prove a point to her Mum and basically out of spite. There would never be a problem with either party seeing my son. But I just can't cope with not being able to come home to my son everyday.... What can I do it may not matter to say but he is very much a daddies boy and always wants me when he is hurt or when he wakes up .......
Also during any time my ex is having any emotional issues my daughter is basically used as a weapon (ex stopping me or her family from seeing her) which resulted in a court order advising of my custody days entitlement.
Very recently she got involved with someone who lives around 40 miles away, approx 3 months ago, and asked my opinion on moving my daughter to stay with the guy.
I obviously pointed out her history and the short time she's met this man (also pointed out that in 4 years my daughter has never stayed over with at my girlfriends house) suggesting ofcourse that it would be a bad idea, to which she agreed before my daughter telling me a few days later they have moved.
I then went to pick my daughter up from school the following week on the friday of my weekend with her. When my daughter didnt appear i was informed that she had been moved schools by my ex (without any discussion whatsoever).
My ex is now asking that I travel to her new school 40 miles away to pick her up but i dont drive and feel completely helpless.
What actions should I take here as the feeling of being treated like an imbicile and not having a say in what happens with my daughter, along with the fear that another turbulent time with my ex and her new boyfriend in inevitable, has caused me depression and i was recently rushed from work to hospital with a suspected heart attack, which turned out to be an anxiety attack through all of this!
at that time i was under mental duress due to a court case ongoing with my work and i gave a letter indicating i was happy for my son to attend school there.
Its now been a year since the court case ended and two years since they moved
I have since remarried
I didnt realise I could take steps preventing the move
her family are from asia
Can I know challenge her and get the kids to come live with me or get her to move back to UK?
she lied to me that she had miscarried (she said this was because i was forcing her into an abortion and was to get me off her back) i say its because she's manipulative. I later found out that she was still pregnant and hit the roof. i shamefully assaulted her quite badly whilst she was pregnant with my children and her child (from another relationship) was present. I ended up being imprisoned for a short while initially,released on bail and then imprisoned again for trying to persuade her to drop charges.
whilst i was imprisoned, she gave birth and didnt put me on their birth certificates. I got a suspended sentence, domestic violence course and community service. I applied for PR when the twins were a year old and this enabled me to have supervised visits in a contact centre.
Now after nearly two years of supervised contact, she wants to take the children and move to another country. I want to apply to court for a prohibition steps order to stop her leaving but how successful will i be? There is no way we can make an agreement between us as things have been very tense since the assault
Another thing she was talking that she would move away from the country if she does is any way that I can get my baby custody. We are married but getting divorced.
Thanks
Extremely worried by the implications for my relationship with my son (the most important thing for me personally), and with my parents and sisters - his family, not his 'second' or 'other' family. We live in a society which does not recognise equal parental rights at this moment. I feel like the pressure and strain of trying to maintain this relationship, and give him the family he deserves and was born into, falls squarely on my lap. I earn very little, have moved into a flat I can barely afford, and have only recently learned to drive. I don't have a car. Now I have to find a way of establishing meaningful contact with my (almost ) 2 year old son who will be living 3 and a half hours away.
Is someone able to provide me with a crumb of comfort? I want to be strong for everyone but my family and parents especially, will be devastated. I'm feeling overwhelmingly pessimistic!
p.s - I know my situation is hardly the extreme of what can happen in these instances, for example many people might think nothing of travelling that distance. I of course sympathise with anyone who's situation is more extreme than mine.
I was arrested on the charges of assault by battery but as it was my 1st offense (ever) I guess the courts were nice on me and I was sentenced to 2 years probation and have to complete 30 hours of domestic abusers group sessions (the group thing I disagree with as lashing out in pure hurt and anger surely Isn't the same as abusing). She also had a restraining order taken out against me.
When I was released from the police cells the next day from the assault (I was kept in 36 hours), she had disappeared her facebook had posts saying "think your ever seeing your son again then think again" and "yeah I'm a whore and I cheated on you but I have my son and you have nothing"
She is still claiming housing benefit for the property in which we lived, and my son is still registered at the same doctor however they are gone.
Speaking with the landlord for the flat he received a rent payment on the 28th December, he told me that he found my sons birth certificate and "Red Book", also if there was anything in the property I wanted that he would let me in as he has heard nothing from her since September 3rd, I took a photo album and a couple of my sons toys as well as the birth certificate.
My solicitor from the assault case is working on trying to find her, he has sent numerous letters to the address where we lived knowing they wouldn't be opened. He is currently trying to get a seeking order from the courts to locate her however due to her keeping the housing benefit at that address and registered at the doctors still I suspect that all searches will only lead to that address.
My solicitor has informed me that her keeping the flat on is a bit of a double edged sword...
A./ It will hinder a lot of search methods making it a very lengthy process filled with lots of hurt and the bond between me and my son diminishing.
And
B./ If she is located then a contact order be issued, he can use the fact that she is "living" in the area to have the order state that she has to bring him to a contact center local to both our registered addresses.
I am also wondering if maybe going down the route of reporting her for claiming housing benefit for a property she hasn't lived in for 4 months. If I do go down that route then I see the possibilities being that it will take the benefits agency a shorter time to locate her than a solicitor BUT when they do she will probably get arrested in her new local town and be taken to court there and possibly sent to prison. I will never hear of it if she did get arrested\tried for benefit fraud but it may make it easier for my solicitor to locate her and issue the contact order
Seems once you've served your purpose women are willing to crucify you and destroy your life.
No wonder society is so screwed.
Good Luck!
I have decided to take some drastic measures as I cannot live without my daughter or knowing that another man will be her father, and I will have zero control in her life. This country owes more to the fathers out there who are in a similar position to me. It's not right that just because she is the mother she is the right person to take care of children. I'm just another victim of our totally biased legal system where men are seen as cash points and nothing else.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm sure nothing will ever change but until we as men get seen as parents nothing ever will.
Take care everyone, and I wish you all the best in your lives.
Si
My eldest is now 19 and my youngest is just turning 16, I do not want my youngest daughter to have to change schools again for the third time in 4 years when what she needs is stability to help her have some form of decent education. Can you give any advice on how I should approach the issue to ensure the best for my daughter, what rights do I have. Believe me this is the short version of events for the purpose of telling the story
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