Why support matters for separated fathers
Separation and divorce can be isolating for anyone, but fathers often find it harder to access support. Most advice services and support groups have historically focused on mothers, leaving dads unsure where to look for help.
Many separated fathers have questions about spending time with their children, how family courts work, or what their legal position actually is. Others simply want to talk to someone who understands what they are going through.
There are organisations in the UK that offer support specifically for separated dads. Some provide practical advice, others focus on emotional support, and a few campaign for changes to family law. What is available may depend on where you live and what you need.
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Several organisations provide advice and support to separated fathers dealing with child arrangements or family court proceedings.
- Families Need Fathers: One of the longest running groups in this area. They offer a national helpline, local support groups, and guidance on family court processes. Membership gives access to additional resources, though basic support is available to anyone who calls.
- Dads Unlimited: Provides a free helpline staffed by trained volunteers, many of whom are separated fathers themselves. They also run online peer support groups and can offer signposting to other services.
- The Fatherhood Institute: Focuses on research and policy rather than individual casework, but their website has useful information about fatherhood and family services across the UK.
- Match Mothers: Despite the name, this organisation supports both parents and grandparents affected by parental alienation. They provide information and peer support.
- Only Dads: Offers a website with articles and guides on separation, divorce, and co-parenting. They also provide a forum where fathers can ask questions and share experiences.
Availability of local groups varies. Some areas have regular meetups, others rely mainly on phone or online support. It is worth checking what runs near you.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Campaigning and advocacy groups
Some organisations focus less on individual support and more on pushing for changes to how separated fathers are treated by the legal system and public services.
Fathers4Justice is probably the most well known campaigning group. They have used high profile stunts to draw attention to their cause over the years. While they do not offer formal advice services, their website contains information about their campaigns and views on family law reform.
Other groups combine campaigning with support work. Families Need Fathers, for example, responds to government consultations and works to raise awareness of issues affecting separated parents alongside their helpline and local groups.
These organisations often argue that family courts favour mothers or that fathers face barriers when trying to stay involved with their children after separation. Views on these claims vary, but the groups can be a source of information for fathers who feel the system has not worked for them.
Where else to find help
Charities and support groups are not the only option. Other sources of help may be useful depending on your situation.
- Citizens Advice: Offers free guidance on family law, benefits, and housing. They can explain your options and help you understand the process if you are going through separation.
- Family mediation services: If you and your ex-partner need to work out child arrangements, mediation can be a less confrontational option than going to court. You may be able to get legal aid for mediation. Check GOV.UK for current eligibility rules.
- Solicitors: For specific legal advice, a family law solicitor can explain your rights and represent you if needed. Some offer a free initial consultation. The Law Society website has a search tool to find solicitors in your area.
- NHS and mental health services: Separation can take a toll on mental health. Your GP can refer you to counselling or other support if you are struggling.
For official information on child maintenance, parental responsibility, and court procedures, GOV.UK is the most reliable source. Information there is kept up to date and covers England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have some different rules, so check the relevant government websites if you live there.
Support is available, though finding the right help can take some time. Starting with a helpline or local group is often the easiest first step.
My name is Bekir K****, and I am writing to ask for your advice and guidance regarding my son, Berk K****, who was born on **/** 2024.
I am Berk Brian’s father, and I am named on his birth certificate. From the day he was born, I played a major role in his daily care. I was responsible for feeding him, bathing him, putting him to bed, taking him to medical appointments, spending time with him at parks and family activities, and being actively involved in his everyday life. He has always been a huge part of my life.
Recently, his mother left the family home with him, and since then I have been deeply concerned. I do not know where they are currently living, and I have received very little information about my son’s wellbeing. Since they left, I have only been able to speak to him briefly on a few occasions. As a father, this has been extremely difficult and upsetting.
I have tried everything I can think of to resolve the situation calmly and respectfully. I have contacted his mother, attempted to communicate through family members, contacted the police, and followed their advice by contacting Barnet Children’s Services (MASH). MASH informed me that, based on the information available, this appears to be a matter relating to child arrangements between parents and suggested that I seek assistance through the Family Court.
Before taking any further steps, I would really appreciate your independent guidance.
I would be grateful if you could advise me on the following:
What would you recommend as the best course of action in my situation?
What practical steps should I take next to protect my relationship with my son?
Is there anything further I should try before making a court application?
Would mediation be appropriate where I do not know my son’s current address and communication has effectively broken down?
If mediation is not realistic, what would you recommend as the next step?
Are there any organisations or services that could support me as a father during this process?
Are there any common mistakes that parents in my situation should avoid?
My only wish is to ensure that my son is safe, happy, and able to maintain a loving relationship with both of his parents. I am not looking for conflict. I simply want to be an active, responsible father and to find the best possible way forward for my son.
I would sincerely appreciate any advice, guidance, or resources you can provide.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my email. I look forward to hearing from you.
Kind regards,
Bekir K******
The court laid down rules,Ex does not stick to any.
Social services and The Police have been involved,But they always believe the Mother ?
Every time he questions this it costs us £200 plus.
To go back to court.
I looked at other sites,But the prices are very high,And no guarantee of help ?
All we are looking for is some advice,And help ?
Thank you
You urgently need professional support. Contact Families Need Fathers or the National Association of Child Contact Centres who can guide you through establishing formal contact arrangements. A family solicitor can advise on your parental rights and help you apply for a Child Arrangements Order. Many offer free initial consultations.
Also reach out to Men's Advice Line for emotional support dealing with the abuse you've experienced. Document everything - dates, times, requests from your ex - as this will be important evidence.
You deserve to have a relationship with all your children. Please don't give up hope.
I am currently living in a bed and breakfast since January 2024 arranged by social service, sharing a single room with my two sons, aged 14 and 15, both of whom have additional needs. We were forced to flee due to domestic abuse and violence from my children’s mother, with whom I share two younger children—a 3-year-old son and a 7-year-old daughter. Additionally, my children's maternal grandfather was abusive toward my two older sons, which further contributed to our need to leave and led to the end of my relationship.
Despite being offered accommodation outside of London, I declined as I wanted to remain in close proximity to my children age 3 and 7. My priority has always been to stay involved in their lives, including assisting with school runs and ensuring I am present for them. I have turned down several employment opportunities because they would have interfered with my ability to be there for my children. I have made significant sacrifices to maintain access to them, often at great personal cost.
The separation has caused me immense emotional distress—sleepless nights, overwhelming sadness, and deep pain from missing my children. Despite my efforts, I am currently not allowed to see them for over a year now.
Between December 2023 and March 2024, my children's mother only contacted me when she needed assistance. I was asked to visit her home multiple times to install furniture for her and her daughter (from a previous relationship), including a wardrobe, shelves for hair products, a TV stand, a chair, a footrest, and other household items. She also called me when she needed me to take her daughter to a dentist appointment.
In March 2024, she requested money from me to contribute toward a trip to Jamaica to visit her boyfriend. This was money I needed for myself and my children age 13and 14 at the time, yet I felt pressured to comply. Additionally, she asked me to repair both her and her mother’s tablets. I picked them up from her home, paid for the repairs with my own money, and returned them to her, all without any acknowledgment or appreciation.
On our son's birthday, I was heartbroken to be refused access to see our children and celebrate with him.
In April 2024, she contacted me to bring a cable for the washing machine and to ask about school term dates. I tried to arrange a birthday celebration for our daughter so she could celebrate with me and my family, but my messages and calls were ignored. When she finally responded and said she would get back to me, I was hopeful—only to be met with silence once again.
I only hear from her when she wants something, often in a disrespectful and verbally abusive manner. She has called late at night to demand access to Netflix, asked me to collect and return electronic devices for repairs, and only engages in communication when it suits her needs. However, when it comes to my right to see my children and be present in their lives, I am met with indifference and n
The answer is to make sure your Facebook profile photo includes a photo of you and your children so if they ever wonder and decide to search you on Facebook there is a clear call sign to them that you care about them and they are always in your life even if you are not in their life.
Secondly, use a website like medium to write an article for your children explaining how much you love them and how important they are in your life. Then sadly you just have to wait for your children to overcome the parental alienation themselves.
There mother has fortnightly contact
On sat and sun for 8 hrs no overnignlht
Has had 3 children removed from her neglect/abandonement
Is currently pregnant again
Can i stop/limit contact due to her pregnancy
???
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