When accusations start flying
Separation and divorce can bring out the worst in people. When a relationship ends, particularly if it ends badly, one or both parties may start making claims about the other person's behaviour that stretch the truth or ignore it altogether.
This happens for different reasons. Some people are angry and want to hurt their former partner. Others believe that painting a negative picture will help their position in court proceedings or child arrangements. Sometimes it is a mix of both.
The strong feelings that once held a couple together can flip into something hostile. What should be a straightforward process of separating two lives can become adversarial. In reality, when a separation turns nasty, both people lose time, money and energy that could have gone towards building a new life.
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Try our False Allegations Response Planner free, here on this site →Why false claims happen
Untrue or exaggerated accusations during relationship breakdown tend to fall into a few categories:
- Revenge or causing upset, where someone makes claims simply to create problems for the other person
- Attempting to gain an advantage in court or during mediation
- Control, using accusations as a way to feel in charge of a situation that feels chaotic
- Genuine but mistaken belief, where people convince themselves that something happened differently than it did
These accusations can cover almost anything. Common areas include claims about parenting ability, financial behaviour, infidelity, drinking or drug use, and emotional or physical abuse.
It is worth noting that UK family courts focus heavily on evidence. Unsupported claims without documentation are unlikely to determine outcomes in child arrangements or financial settlements. However, false claims can still cause real problems. They may influence how professionals initially view you, affect contact with your children while matters are investigated, and create stress that makes practical communication harder.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
How to respond
If your former partner makes untrue claims about your behaviour, try to stay calm. Reacting with anger or making counter accusations tends to make things worse.
Keep records of everything. Save messages, emails and any other communication that relates to the claims being made. Note down dates, times and what was said or done. This kind of evidence can be important if you need to challenge accusations later.
Get proper advice. A family solicitor can help you understand your options and what the claims might mean for your situation. Legal aid for family law cases is very limited and primarily available where there is evidence of domestic abuse or child abduction. For most separation disputes, you will need to pay privately or represent yourself. The GOV.UK website has current information on eligibility.
If the accusations relate to your children and the dispute reaches court, Cafcass (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) may become involved. Their role is specifically to safeguard children's interests in family court proceedings and help the court make decisions about welfare. Being honest and cooperative with Cafcass is important, though the outcome will depend on the specifics of your case.
Consider mediation if direct communication has broken down. A trained mediator can help both parties discuss issues more constructively. The Family Mediation Council website has information about finding a mediator in your area.
Looking after yourself
Facing false accusations is stressful. It can feel deeply unfair, especially when you know the claims are not true. Give yourself permission to feel frustrated, but try not to let those feelings control your actions.
Talk to someone you trust. This might be a friend, family member or counsellor. Organisations like Families Need Fathers offer support groups where you can talk to other people going through similar experiences. The Family Rights Group helpline also provides advice on children and family law matters.
Focus on what you can control. You cannot force your former partner to be honest, but you can control how you respond. Staying measured and factual tends to serve you better than emotional reactions, both in any legal proceedings and in your own wellbeing.
These situations are rarely resolved quickly, and the process can be draining. Getting the right support makes a significant difference.
she accused me of domestic violence by breaking things in the house. Fortunately I had a video recorded when she attacked me and the police found out about her lie and arrested her for the crime of assaulting and beating me.but But to my disbelief, home office has gave them a indefinite visa( her and her son ) even though I have all the evidence to prove her lie.
In the end the kids will see for themselves x
CPS charged me based on her words....no evidence. I have literally 100's of pieces of evidence to prove she is lying through her teeth as I kept all correspondence between her and me which proves I am loving decent and caring partner and literally every thing she has accused me off I have dozens of pieces of evidence to disprove her.
Family court postponed today, as justice system here is absolutely useless, totally not looking after what is best for children but what is best for mum.
I have to be patient and I know my time will come but it is very hard though. Haven't seen my children in more than a year after seeing them every day of their little lives. Sometimes I am seriously struggling thinking is it easier to let go, then angry and full of fighting spirit because I am innocent and I owe it to my children. I will not let my ex get away with this.
I can honestly and with hand on my heart say that I have always been a faithful, caring, loving father and partner and then to be falsely accused of so many things.....whoa...that landed hard.
Looking forward however to wipe that smirk off her face and be able to hold my children in my arms again.
Need to keep my cool though....it is tough.
Has anyone ever successfully sued their ex for slander, libel or defamation in this respect?
I don’t know what do next ? I have never caused her a harm, as now want to kick me out of the property as on both names she did this to me. Please help
She showed up unannounced the other night during bed time and decided to spend the night as well as the following day until hand over.
I was angry, but asked her to leave. I warned her that I would call the police, but notice her recording the conversation on the phone.
She now claim emotional abuse because I told her I will call the police and if she did it again I will get a order against her
me and my wife separated 3 years ago we have 2 kids between us from that time she keep make false allegation and i dont know what should i do every few months i find police knock my door and every time nothing happened just keep stressed me out and turn the kids against me
is there anything i should do to be able to stop her from doing this kind of allegations it is really affect me emotionally and mentally and dont know what is the end of this story
if anyone can help me on that matter please
I believe she has some kind of psychotic disorder and believe that there will be no limits to how far she will go.
A restraining order was placed on my son purely after her continued lies and false allegations against my son. She has abused in person and through telephone calls and social media my son and his immediate family. My Father died of cancer last year and she gained access to his property by deceit as he was vulnerable and stole money (My son was staying with him at the time nursing him and was out) She took some of my son's clothes and cut them up, sending him pictures.She has twice tried to run my son over with their children in the car! She stalks his social media by creating false accounts and then slanders him and his business.
I am aware that she smokes cannabis and is extremely volatile and is disliked by many people as she has such an aggressive personality.
I just do not understand how he continues to manipulate the system and make false allegations and they are followed through by the police-having my son arrested and interviewed but ending in NFA.
I worry about the safety of my Grandchildren. who we are all unable to see. I dread to think what sort of life they have with her (age 6 and 4)
She has a poor family background, her brother being convicted of murder at the age of 18.
I live in constant fear of what she will do next to my family. She tries continually to get my son to respond to her(restraining order in place from her lies) Some of the excuses being. She has cancer, the children have corona virus, the youngest child has fallen down the stairs, needs an MRI scan...
This is all very garbled and for that I apologise, There is just too much to right. I am so panicked and anxious. My son is now being treated for anxiety and depression following the loss of his Grandfather, not being able to see his children and this constant abuse and stalking.What can we do, and suggestions would be so gratefully received.
I’m gonna stay again for my kids, is there anything I can do now to protect myself from a future breakup... I only ever drink on special occasions or staff nights out, I actually train nearly every day I’m not the person she is saying and I feel it’s to scare me which works
Recently Karen had a large bruise on her back it lookef like she had been hit with a stick or wooden spoon when asked Karen clearly said to us and the police Mummy hit me Mummy hits me all the time.We couldnt believe it when the police believed the mothers lies that Karen had fallen off the couch.When we asked Karen if she had fallen off the couch she became very upset and yelled I didnt fall off the couch mummy hit me.
Because the police belived the mother we had to send her back it was heartbreaking. When we saw Karen again she was totally shut down and told us that Mummy was the best mummy in the world and never hits her .But you could see the fear in her eyes.
other things have happened like how Karen comes to us with mattered hair and ragged clothes also she she hasnt been fed
We disclosed this to child protection and they spoke to the mother and the next time we had visitation of Karen we asked if she had breakfast and she started saying very fast Mummy feeds me mummy always feeds me amd repeting it over again at lunch we tried to feed her and she was screaming that Mummy had turned and given her lunch and refused to eat.
Karen hides food in her room now and is to afraid to tell us about the abuse at home
Altho recently she told another child to Just die when we asked her why she said it she said Mummy says that to me all the time
My partner amd I were sobbing over this but we wont tell child protection or the police because they tell the mother and Karen is theatened and punished
My partner pays child support and the mother recently got his entire tax return money we were going to use for an eye operation Karen needs.After this money went to the mother Karen come to us with shoes to sizes to small and she couldnt walk properly in them
My partner than told me that his ex was wearing anew out fit and was bragging about a clothes shopping spree.
We are desperate to save our beautiful little girl and it kills us to hand her back to a abusive narssistic mother but the authorities that are meant to protect the child are protecting the lying mother.
What the hell can we do we would gladly take Karen and let the ex keep the child support payments and single mothers pension (Because thats all shes interested in) We want to give this beautiful child a happy childhood full of love but instead she is with someone who neglects and abuses Karen physically emotionally and mentally.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD
My ex partner has told me he has had his miam meeting and was told that mediation would not work and to just go through court. Im not sure i believe this
My partner made extremely serious but false domestic violence related allegations against me on 25/04/2018. This was done by her to achieve a certain ‘objective’. I was arrested by Police. I Released - Under Investigation im not allow to see my son and i don’t know where they are my wife she come to uk 30/11/2017 and she make false allegations I’m deny these allegations and believe outside forces and possible mental health issues are to blame for my wife fabricating this complaint it was plan apply for another visa to get benefit there is same one have advice her to do that she don’t know any thank abut the low in uk. and know it been more the 2 month i didn’t see my son I’m waiting for police decision
i have already contacted Manchester Free Legal Help and the Personal Support Unit at Manchester Civil Justice Centre and, following their advice, have issued an application for a Child Arrangements Order seeking a residence order and contact with my son. i submitted the C100 form, which could not be processed because i
do not know my wife’s current address, and therefore i were instructed to submit the C4 Form (application for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts) first. I successfully submitted the C4 Form to my local authority on 008/07 2018
Is it or has it made a difference to anyone now that family court is now not in private.
J
The most interest fact is that I BOUGHT HOUSE less than 3 mounts before she accuse me .
Than I've been arrested and after the court hearing court DECEIDE : WE MAY THINK THAT WE BELIVE TO HER .
I found out also that my bank accounts are empty ! And on dispute also my mortgage account she mouve to her own without my permission and without giving me a chance even to pay my mortgage
Ok . I m going to the highest court and 3 judges , 2 prosecutors , cross examination her for about 2 hours .
She mixed totally , she start build new stories etc.
The court belive that I'm not guilty .
I can't see my kids already 4 months because the social services ,Caafcass knows that I'm guilty and my Wife play with all of them . I found out that is ANOTHER person involved on THAT SHE GO ACCUSE ME - her ex collegue with who she start leaving straight away after she accuse me .
Please give me advice I would like to sue her for everything what she did to me and my kids
She says she will not permit any contact with children until she knows exactly what happened in May 2017 around the BP hospital admission (voluntary).
We have started mediation/Court process but she is now threatening to tell the Courts the reason she left Mike was he was aggressive to the children... they divorced 6 years ago, if this was the case why had she allowed access up until Dec 2016???
She is saying children don't want to talk to their dad, will Courts take her word on this?
CAN SHE DO THIS !!!
For years, International Marriage Services had to live with the stigma of being referred to as Mail Order Bride services. However, many consider the term "mail-order bride" derogatory and feel it demeans foreign women by comparing them to commodities for sale and falsely implying that (unlike local women), they exercise no judgment over the men they meet and would marry anyone from a relatively wealthy country. Even with the foreign women being labeled as mail order brides these companies have grown in popularity for the past two decades, largely due to the internet. The industry grew at such a fast pace it caught the attention of the US senator Maria Cantwell of Washington State, who in 2006 she pushed a bill through congress known as IMBRA or International Marriage Brokers Regulation Act. Although the intent of Senator Cantwell was clearly meant to put Foreign Bride Companies out of business by severely restricting how men communicate with foreign women. In the end, the companies flourished under the new regulations as these business quickly modified their business models.
Kenneth Agee, marketing Director for A Foreign Affair one of the largest so called Mail Order Bride Companies says, "We have always had to overcome this label. Since Trump announced his candidacy for president of the United States, the industry saw a significant increase in upscale business men looking for foreign brides. Once he became president, Trump made it the new status symbol of success to be married to an eastern European women. With First Lady Melanie Trump in the White House, opinions about foreign women have dramatically changed. Once men were scorned upon to be married to a women from Russian or the Ukraine, now is seen as prestigious. And we are seeing huge increase of men seeking foreign brides, our client base is up by more than 200% since Trump has taken office. This month alone we will be taking over 100 American men to the Ukraine, mostly very successful executives." Beside online matchmaking, the company arranges group tours for men that will travel to countries throughout the world. During these tours the men will meet hundreds of pre-screened women during what A Foreign Affair calls "Social Events" or what Kenneth calls speed dating on steroids.
Critics say these women are just used as arm trophies for business men in America. That men take advantage of the women's circumstances, both economical and geographical. Kenneth argues, "I would hardly say Melanie Trump has been taken advantage of or refer her to as a Mail Order Bride. Women choose just like the men choose, we are all adults and are responsible for our own choices. It is just that men in America have a good reputation for the way we treat women and how we take care of our families. This opens the door to the men to meet some of the most beautiful women in the world."
Trump is not the only high profile person to marry
Because the end of my relationship was not friendly my ex wife keeps on threatening that she accused me to the Home Office of fraudulent visa application and to have married her to get visa.
My question is about how much she can prejudice me with these false allegations???
Because soon I will get married with another European national and we are planning to go to the UK.
Is it possible for the Home Office or UK border control refuse me entry visa to the UK even after married to another European national because of those false allegations?
If so, what should I do to defend myself?
I don't want to have problems to return to UK with my new wife.
Please help
Worried mum
Also they are going to a school disco..........am I allowed to turn up at an event like this or will that cause trouble?
She has no official order saying I cannot see them but it seems to me she is just allowed to say anything and do anything she likes and i cannot do A SINGLE THING about this?
Is this actually true? Can she just make up stories and DECIDE they are FACTS and stop me seeing my kids on the strength of these lies ?
Is it really THAT easy for her to do this? Can the school help me?
Because of this..................and after yesterday having the time of my life with them becoming secret agents at a place we visited......................she has told me that I cannot be trusted with the kids and that I am not seeing them or speaking to them EVER again.
She says I will have to go to court..........I know this is after screaming at me in the street yesterday and me saying "I know what you did to them".
She hurts them................including "throwing the oldest off the sofa while the youngest watched. They BOTH swear this is true........the youngest (aged 6) saying "I was sat there daddy i watched mummy do it. I said I may tell the police...............so now she has said "I will not see the kids again"
PLEASE HELP ME SOMEONE!! I have no money but will do anything for help on this matter. Should I phone the police or social services........................I KNOW MY KIDS WONT LIE WHEN I SAY TO THEM HOW SERIOUS THIS IS....................I believe them..........what do i need to do...........she has hurt them many times now yet IT IS ME who is being punished as well AS THEM..........she is punished us all mentally........but the boys PHYSICALLY..........Please ANYONE........what can I do?
My ex wife have spilt up 6 months and she is filling for divorce even though she committed adultery but as the marriage is over I have no reason to contest
One thing that bothers me it I have evidence she stole items from her last employer 2 laptops, 3 mobile phones, lcd projector transfered business air miles to her account and gift vouchers worth over £300 along with 2 pairs of shoes from a colleague she worked with do I inform police or the employer as she left some of these items at my house and I do not want to be held reasonable for these items
We jointly applied CTC which got delayed about an year. When we got paid, it was £6000 altogether in my account. Which we spent together (of which i have no proof). My partner is accusing me that I never spent that money and now she want me to pay her that money. (As she was working and I wasnt).
Can this case be brought into court against me? Or can this be case even. Do I have to prove where that money spent etc?
Social Services told me in an interview that they were extremely concerned for my safety as my partner was a very violent man but there is absolutely no evidence for this apart from another false allegation from his ex. They said they had spoken to lots of people as part of a report but none are listed. He has no police record and I have never seen a scrap on indication that he would be violent in nearly three years we have been together.
Can they do this?
Last year my eldest daughter accused my Brother of historical sexual abuse.. At the time I was living near her and I said things that I later very much regretted. I apologised a number of times to her but she would not accept my apologies and began to throw in my face things I said to her as a child and teenager which we had previously talked through and laid to rest. I told I accepted that she has done the right thing reporting my brother to the Police and I made a statement about the two occasions she pointed out in support of her. I told her I am standing by her 100%. However, she has told my son lies about me and even lied to my face about things I said to her, she insisted last year I needed to be supervised with her children when I met them which I took offence at because since September 6th 2014 when I moved near her I had been looking after them unsupervised when she needed me to. I moved away from her because I have health problems and needed physical support which she and her husband withdrew from me very shortly after our argument. I am living near my younger daughter who like myself cannot fathom out why she has treated me so badly. A few months ago after having a rude text from my Grandson I got in touch with her to ask her if she could speak to him for me as she had recently said that she doesn't want me disciplining him and ruining his life like I apparently ruined hers. She was very abusive on the phone to me so I thought maybe her husband would see reason but he told me never to call or get in touch again or he would report me for harassment. I answered his email as politely as I could to respond to his threat as politely as I could but he or my daughter phoned the DS who is dealing with her case and told her I was harassing her. The DS just said to give her a wide berth for the time being and asked me how I was. I had a lovely talk to her but my younger daughter then received a text from my son saying that I had been "formerly warned by the Police to never again get in touch with my daughter or face the consequences of my actions". This is so far from the truth and I could not put my son right as my younger daughter (who they have now also cut off) was frightened of their recriminations.
I have sent a large parcel to my Granddaughter this morning for her birthday and with some expensive items inside and decided to to text my daughter to ask her if she would look out for the parcel and let me know when it arrived as the items would be costly to replace. Also this morning she invited me to be her friend on Facebook which I felt must have been a mistake so I messaged her saying, "you have asked me to join you on Facebook, Is this a mistake?" She answered me yes so I said I would unfriend her which I did.
I have just had a threatening email from her husband and indeed it was abusive. I am now expecting because of his words another phone call from the DS even though I answered politely and gave my reasons and apologise
U fortunately she accidentally became pregnant and decided to keep the baby, . After telling her mother, the mother wanted to be involved in the girls life again, having not spoken to her fo a considerable time, even telling her father, that under no circumstances was he allowed to visit her. My son loved and cared for her, but her mother took an instant dislike to him. Which caused him a lot of problems.After the birth, the girl didn't want to do a lot, not interested in getting dressed, doing her hair etc. She wouldn't cook, clean or do the washing and was only happy when my son was home doing all the chores and looking after baby while she slept. Then after a big row, got her parents to pick her up and has since claimed he emotionally abused and tried to control her, also apparently kept her as a prisoner and made her feel bad about seeing her family, which she wanted to do most days of the week, which invalved her being collected and returned. She wouldn't cook or clean and rarely did any washing
My son adores their little baby , and knows everything there is to know about looking after her, but his ex , after letting him have baby twice, is now saying she's been advised to stop the contact. If he wants to see his daughter he must go to the home she shares with her parents. With emotions running high , he's not ready for her parents, his ex won't be there. The mother is controlling, outspoken and criticises everything he says and does, like she did in the labour room. This ruined his experience of the birth. We are a family with little money and can't pay for him to go to court for a contact order. He is on a low income and without her , will lose their home. He wants to spend time on a regular basis with his dear little baby. He loves looking after her, albeit the girl lied to her parents, telling them he'd had little input, he was better with baby than she was. He's distraught, and I don't know how to help him. Unfortunately both smoke canibbis, which concerned me especially when i found out the gf had smoked during pregnancy and when trying to be. Her parents didn't have that worry. She also had a one night stand only 4 days after they separated , with her supplier. Her parents won't know thar either. And although the mother keeps saying how awful my son is, I've never told her what I know about her daughter.
Does the girl have a right to stop him having their baby. I can be in attendan
I had to change the locks on my flat as instructed by the police to get my wife out due to her bad behaviour.The flat is in my name only on the tenancy, there were arguments verbally and the police were called and I was arrested but released without charge but I never hit or touched her.They gave me advice to change the locks otherwise it would be me always being taken away. she has a child with me and 2 others that are not mine,my one decided to stay with me the others left with her.She then went to the social services and made up allegations of domestic violence which are untrue because I have my son who is 9 it was investigated by them but the threshold was not met as I am meeting his needs,and got a letter of apology from them for the way I was treated as I put in a complaint. allegations have continued by her which I have evidence which proves she is lying. She attacked me on the street at work 4 years ago and I used this to get a molestation order out on her and there was a fact finding case and she was called a perpatrator. She has contact with my son now and I only stopped it because his passport and birth certificate was removed from my mother's house without permission, and she wouldn't tell me where she lived so as any person or parent would want to know where their child was going especially if they are the one looking after them or in their care. I offered mediation 3 times for contact with my son and she refused. She has tried everything to get legal aid with her lying but can't get it or it has always been withdrawn because of no evidence she is now using probono for this recent case. my son was interviewed by caffcass and he has made it clear he wanted to stay with his father but on the other side I was named a perpatrator! My ex wife is very good at lying and cries to get people on her side and again this is what has happened caffcass did not look at everything.Anyway the way it stands now is the contact order which was made by caffcass I agreed on and so did she.we went back to court and she is refusing the report as she wants full custody and a fact finding case.I have evidence for allegations as I said and she has been found to be a perpatrator in the previous case, plus my son is happy, he is doing well at school and doesn't want to live with her.I have had my son for near 2 years now and my barrister said there is no way they would uproot him. I think my ex wife is bitter! I have moved on I have a new partner, new job and I believe she is doing this for spite to make my legal bill go up as she is not paying for hers! The thing she can't see is what I'm spending in court costs my son loses out on and with this final hearing coming up its now going to be around £18,000!!
I will prove she is lying again! this really should not be happening and if she's found guilty again especially now for lying the courts should come down on her it's purgery! The thing is she's got no money so if I win which I'm very con
She made false allegations about us before eating his son and daughter was witnessing domestic violence in the house whilst they were here which was a lie and after months of socials involvement and assessment it was found to be untrue and they close the case. Now just 19 days between the date she advised us last year she's gone to social again dating were force feeding his child which has opened up a new case with the ss. Were so sick of it now, we cannot get on with our life and our children in this household without some sick accusation being made about us and having to go through more assessments woth them. We've had enough. The ex has got drug problems and drink problems but because she's never been for help there is no proof she's on anything only people's statements
Her neighbour is on anti depressants because of her hthere is constant trouble at her house. Which my partners kids to her live in, she's giving the kids drugs and drink (ages 10,14,17) and the social don't want to do anything about it only harass us. What can we do about it we've been to see a solicitor but iya all cost and will cost over £200 to take her to court for custody. We've told the social all this hit they don't seem interested at all about hee, just the accusations being made about us, any help please?
4 months ago my injury compensation was finalized and I paid off my house So I had no more a mortgage to pay. Very quickly our relation deteriorated , as she was pressing her disire for some of the shares of my injury compensation. One evening we had a discussion , for which was the excuse for her to run away from my house , I do not know were she has gone, she wants make look that I have verbal abused her and victimized her, And this is not true at all. I also have legal document of my injury and affidavit that she signed in regard my medical disability and incapacity and times of depression due to chronic pain.
Her behave now its totally out of order, as I wish to try to discuss a proper separation or finalize our position , she just don wish to reply to any communication, Even my sons have been trying . We were married just over 3 years.
I fell used and been abused , but also relived that she has gone, she made me feel like I was an AIDS sufferer, her rejections toward me over the months was appalling I lost self selfes'estem, Humiliated and treated with total neglect .
I very much suspect now that she indeed wish to claim part of my house , and creating all sort of false allegations toward me,
she was well aware of my disability and health due to my injury sustained and my medical treatments still ongoing.
I would like to know if she can be able to place a stop on my property so that I will not be able to sell it if I wish too , And what she can be entitle in the Court if this turns nasty . She has full employment and me nothing,My only capital is my house .
Now, as we go through the separation I have found out that she is planning to move to the US which will mean that I am going to have problems visiting my daughter and her she is trying to realise her threat. Do you think my audio recordings (I have 7 in which she also clearly shows to be absolutely mental) are useful as a legal proof in court?
Thank you.
Every year Cafcass helps over 140,000 children and young people who are going through care or adoption proceedings, or whose parents have separated and are unable to agree about future arrangements for their children. Cafcass is the voice of children in the family courts and helps to ensure that children’s welfare is put first during proceedings.
Cafcass is asked by the court to become involved in cases once an application has been made to the court. Our experienced practitioners provide judges with the advice, information and recommendations they need to make a safe decision about each child’s future. This includes working with children to find out their wishes and feelings, and reporting these findings back to the court. We listen: we do not take sides between parents and always remain independent advocates for the children involved in these cases.
( I've read books on parental alienation and its like reading about her behaviour)
Is it illegal for me to record conversations between me and my ex partner because of previous allegations of Domestic Abuse?????
one week later I went to vist my son at our family home. While I was there my husband lost it with my son over home work. he throw a massive book at our son missing him by cm. my son ran to me and bagged me not to leave him. I told him I'd never leave him again. I moved back to the family home 6 months later. I was going to do my best for my son and protect him even if it means me been unhappy for another 10years. My son never asked to be born when we become parents you should always put their needs above your own. But I told my husband if I was to stay if he ever raised his hand to me again I would go. He knows I mean it too. So please don't think its only men that get treated badly. That day I walked away from the house I didn't want a penny from him or the house. I was prepared to start again after 22years of marriage with nothing. He had everything including our son in the end all because my spinal injury was used against me. How unfair is that and wrong. Me and my son are so close he tried to shield me to stop his dad hitting me that's the day I knew I had to leave my son put him self in danger for me. I knew I had to do something.but yet I was treated like a lier and a cheat. I know one day the truth will be told I'm waiting.not all woman make domestic abuse up but maybe the ones who it's truly happening to don't get the help. I know I didnt . My husband was surrounded by everyone helping him. I had me!!! I was put in a awful dirty flat surround by drug dealers and ladies of the night. I used to sleep with the radio on so I wouldn't hear. Within a week saw a stabbing it was awful£249 per week I had to pay the council. Trust me it was a awful time. I'd much rather put up with my home life any day then go through that again been without my child. Please don't judge all women the same we are not. A child needs both parents no matter what.
An accusation of grooming somebody and attempting to rape someone is devestating and plays on your emotions - particularly when its made by someone you were close with.
I recently learned her motives though - we were getting to know one another for marriage over a period of 8 months but she decided to marry her cousin. She told me she was being forced into a marriage - my cousin found out it was untrue so did the courtesy of telling her family how she was playing me whilst getting to know her cousin. Obviously her new hubby wasn't impressed with her behaviour so she needed a cover story to keep her dignity intact.
Women pffft!
my ex daughter inlaw is using this to stop my son seeing his child she has said the teachers have told her to stop it or they will get social services involved
the boy has always been the center of his dads world loved visiting we dont know why this is happening mother wont let him even soeak on phone what can we do
Since that day the social services are treating me like a convicted criminal and are not letting me see my two young kids I feel sick and devasted. All I've ever done is provide for my family and care for them and my wife does this to me. Fathers are treated like rubbish absolute disgrace
the truth is I never did anything like that at all and it's really frustrating that something has been proved in the court which is totally un-true. so far I never had such involvement with any court or police at all and I am unable to decide if I can/should go back and challenge the court!
there are further hearings happening in the next few months because she's not letting me see my baby.
any advice would be much appreciated.
.....When i tried to tell the judge about her behaviour and how i am not a heavy drug user whatsoever, he did not seem to want to listen. He was very much on the mothers side as on the surface she appears to be very sweet and genuine. I can not afford a solicitor and i am desperate for someone with authority to just listen to what Lauren is doing to me and how she is using our son to get to me. I have done everything by the book and everything that the police has told me to do; I have kept all her text messages, facebook messages and recorded phone calls from her to PROVE that she is using our son as a means of being able to talk to me. She wants me to get into a relationship with her but after the horrible things she has done to me this will never happen.
What do you advise I do when no one out there with authority wants to listen to what i have to say or give me the time of day. I adore my son so much it is killing me when i do not get to see him. I can't sleep and i just feel completely lost and no one wants to help me. Please can anybody help me?
After Leo's birth, harassment continued and the police gave the mother a formal warning. The mother refused to let me see my son unless i break up with my girlfriend. I advised her that I will not be breaking up with my girlfriend in order to see my son so i will have to go through the courts. She said if i take her to court, she will tell the judge that i physically abuse her. She then sent me a photo of her face where she had marked herself causing red scratches and a small bruise, and said she will show this is the court. I told her i will be showing the judge her message clearly showing her blackmailing tactic.
When we went to court she did not mention anything regarding me attacking her. She did however tell the judge and the cafcass officer that i am a heavy drug user and therefore am a danger to our son. I said i am more than happy to do a drugs test which will prove i do not take drugs. The judge said if i take a test i will have to pay for it which could be in excess of £1000. Since my motorbike crash i have been off work on leave for 7 months, therefore i do not have the money to do this. However, the judge did grant me the contact order that i wanted.
The police told me to change my phone number, so i did but i bought an additional phone to carry with me also and gave her the number of this one, for her to call IN CASE THERE IS AN EMERGENCY WITH LEO. She went crazy that i changed my number and refused to give her my personal one, so once again she is taking my son away from me and is continuing to lie about my so called drug use.
I am sinking i just do not know what to do. When i tried to tell the judge about her behaviour and how i am not a heavy drug user whatsoever, he did not se
She keeps denying access then relenting which I am finding very distressing..she keeps getting nasty and hurtful..
what is the best way forward for me ?
I can't really afford solicitors fees :-/
Andy
Firstly, I feel I ought to say that as an adopted person, and the father of my only child, my 6 year old son is HIGHLY loved and prized by myself, simply because I have no other blood relations to my knowledge.
My ex unwittingly (we're currently separated after my leaving her), gave me HIV just after we were married, which became 'exposed' in my then workplace some years later, and working in a highly specialised field, I found fewer and fewer jobs to ZERO (until now, even 5 years later), just after my son was born....
She's maintained fortunately enough a job, has the flat I found, comes from a very wealthy family, and I had to move back to my parents home here in London - at 48 years old, unemployed.
She has always begrudgingly allowed me access to their flat, but being unemployed has meant I've only managed this on average once weekly. It gets worse - I WAS receiving benefits (ESA), but I was cut-off from that recently as I received ZERO points despite my condition, and also by my receiving treatment for (very minor) depression expected a 'reasonable amount' of those.
This has meant as of the last month she has not been even answering the phone to me so as I may talk to my son (imagine how such a shy and sensitive child must feel), and neither would answer any of my emails during this period.
I let slip: I said (I believe fairly) in email - twice - how disgustingly badly she's behaving, in an evil manner, in fact, as doubtless, our son is missing me terribly, and probably has no real clue why I'm not there for him.
NOW, she's attempting to use those messages against me as a weapon - describing me as abusive, and 'harassing her'!
Anybody who knows me would (I believe) testify readily that (A) I'm a very quiet gentle person, and B) wouldn't bother harassing anyone. In fact, in TRUTH (though she would very admit it), she has smacked our child, and I've hardly ever had to even raise my voice to him!
I could easily bore you all with more details here - suffice to say for now, my poverty has put me in a dreadful position regarding the above, and I fear that as I'd doubtless have to represent myself against here in court (and her father is a the High-Court judge of a large african country) , I fear the worst through all of this.
Thank you for bearing with me, and I fully appreciate that advice on such problems will be 'hard to come by'....
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