Who Qualifies for Legal Aid?

Copo 24/03/2021 at 1:56 pm

I am separated with my wife n would like some advice on how I can get acses with my som on a regular basic. And in writing so she Carney change it when she wants to

onetwo 03/03/2021 at 4:14 pm

i lost my kids with the mum to someone she chose as someone to take the special guardianship order. its been 4yrs since i seen my kids and the people with the order wiont let me see my kids. social have given me no reason why contact cant go ahead and have no issue. i need help as struggling to find ways of coming up with lawyer fees.

any help will be grateful

M 05/02/2021 at 8:59 am

My case has been dismissed for the child custody and allegation she has made by the Judge. Can my ex appeal the decesion? She had legal aid so far. Can she get legal aid again?

Mike 27/11/2020 at 8:59 pm

What steps I need to do if my solicitor don't give nothing information about my claim . I finished ready secound physiotherapy aproximatly 3 weeks ago and my solicitor doesn't want to answer my calls or don't give properly information or he lying because is not there .
What step it's next to do ?

Taz 17/08/2020 at 11:28 am

my ex got legal aid for 4 yrs while child proceedings where ongoing, I represented myself and got a child arrangement order, now she has got legal aid again to fight a specific issue order. She has maintained alleged domestic abuse as her excuse for getting legal aid.

Is there not a limit as to how much legal aid someone is entitled to?

Chris 09/02/2020 at 8:14 pm

@letty.i sat down the other night and worked out how old my daughter is she is 16 in may .(wow) .i haven’t seen she since she was( 5 )she would have boyfriend bye now most likely have part time job her own friends and life .(time flys ).after learning about my rights I won’t be taking( legal action) because for one it’s been( 11 years off no contact) second i personally think it’s been to long now .its best let them get on with there life plus i am old school and men from my generation we didn't go to court for rights .

letty 09/02/2020 at 1:47 pm

my son has submitted a c100 form has a date for first hearing, he was seeing his children on a regular basis until a NFA order came back hadn't done what was claimed will this go against him for see his children in the eyes of a family court

Frank 05/02/2020 at 8:34 pm

I have been through a lengthily court battle with my ex after she alleged domestic abuse. She got legal aid and I had to employ a solicitor at huge costs.
The fact finding is complete, and proves she lied.

My question is when does her legal aid stop, does it continue even though the case has gone completely against her?

Gemz 29/09/2019 at 3:53 pm

My ex partner is trying to get legal aid to ge this name on my sons birth certificate! There are a lot of reason why I don’t want him on it. One being he didn’t want to be on it when he was born, now after 2 years he is trying to get legal aid to take me to court to get put on it, just wondering if he will get the legal aid or not? Tia x

Cheeks 19/09/2019 at 2:59 am

My ex started court case to stop me seeing kids which cost me £17,000 but cant pay back anymore, she lied to get legal aid but also told lies to court and police about me without proof of accusations, case is over now but i am being taken to court from lawyers i had over unpaid fees. Am i able to take ex to court to pay some of the amount since it wouldnt cost me that except all her lies, accusations without proof to stop me seeing kids.
I have proof of my innocence but was not allowed to show it and now i hardly see youngest due to court not caring what ex said. I was forced to go to court or lose kids.

Kaya 12/08/2019 at 2:53 pm

I am being stopped from seeing my daughter and need a court case in order to gain access to ger again. I earn £21.5k

Do i get some legal aid or all?

Lute59 07/04/2019 at 4:40 pm

In June 2012 I was awarded £600 from my ex-wife after proving she lied about her income. The judge gave me a letter to hand in at Financial hearing.

The Judge at the financial hearing refused this document claiming it was at his discretion and he was not awarding it. There was £35,000 equity in the matrimonial home which was in joint names, The deposit used to secure the sale came from £18,000 pension fund.

My 2 pensions were frozen before I met my ex whereas her teaching pension was ongoing throughout our relationship. The judge said 'Pensions were of equal value and I had no right to a share.

My other contribution was a stay at home dad raising 2 children from 6 months old until they reached ages 4 and 3. I was also responsible for looking after the household chores and meals.

At the hearing, I also gave the judge a document proving that I was in an IVA and the matrimonial home was seen as an asset. The judge scanned over the document and claimed it was not an IVA but debt management and ordered me to sign over the home to my ex within 56 days.

I wrote to the mortgage provider who said they would not release me from the mortgage my IVA company told me I was not allowed to sign it over.

3 years later my ex put the house on the market and asked for my signature but I explained my situation regarding IVA. She applied to court claiming I deliberately refused to sign it over and the court upheld her complaint I was ordered to pay her solicitor fees of £1080,32.

At the financial hearing 2013 I was ordered to pay £300 child maintenance per month for 12 months then to be assessed by the child support agency. After 12 months she did not open a case with CSA so I did in 2015 and payments were dropped to £190.

My ex told me she was happy to accept cash payments which I did but have no proof of payments as I trusted her but now 4 years later she has applied to the court for non-payment amounting to £5,150.

I am on low income and receiving WTC with no savings and I fear I could be sent to prison.

Any advice on this would be extremely appreciated.

In Brief at the hearing
£35,000 equity which was £18,000 from my pension fund
My pensions were frozen whereas hers were ongoing
I was full-time househusband and dad
I had a letter awarding me £600 from the previous case
I had a letter proving I was in an IVA and house was seen as an asset

The judge awarded my ex-everything and when I gave him a piece of my mind we were asked to leave the courtroom. 10 minutes later on our return, he apologized but recording device wasn't working so he'd have to go over the case again but he would do a summary and we were not allowed to speak.

I walked out with £26,000 debt

Question: Could I be facing a prison sentence for having no proof of paying child maintenance amounting to £5,150 between July 2013 and August 2015?

Jinty 29/10/2018 at 1:10 pm

My lawyer applied for Legal Aid, scotland. I am on pension credit guarantee.
They have disregarded pension credit but said my pension counts , I am left with £3000 they want £1250 and leaving me with £26 a week to live on. I’m sure my pension should never have been included as it’s below the level to live on in the first instance. It’s like talking to a brick wall explaining it to them and them insisting £26 a week is enough for me to live on and they still want the money. They don’t know there’s a difference between pension credit and pension credit guarantee.
I’ve decided not to go ahead anyway. They will recover the money if I win my claim and it’s a waste of time. I’ve been granted full Legal Aid before this.
The lawyer will win in this as he will get his money. It’s too stressful for me and taking into account why I’ve been claiming in the first place. It’s all too much. My morning has been wasted and I am scunnered!

Lucy 23/10/2018 at 1:29 am

I bought a double bed off a friend for £100 agreeing to pay £25 a week .. I then had to move houses as the house I was renting got put up for sale so with all the fees I had to pay (bond rent upfront) I fell behind having 2 kids to support alone too .. I’ve paid half of the money owing £40 now but can only afford £10 a week and now she is threatening to take me to a small claims court .. can anyone advise on what leg I have to stand on .. I have not refused to pay just struggling a bit at the moment to pay £25 a week she’s getting on at my family members about it and slagging me off to other people ..

CharlieR Editor 04/09/2018 at 11:11 am

@Jules - there is no such thing as a Legal Aid divorce. Legal Aid only exists in a very few cases now i.e cases of family law where domestic abuse has taken place - but not for divorce.

Jules 30/08/2018 at 2:07 pm

Can I get legal aid for divorce. Earning 16000 per annum?

Laurie 19/08/2018 at 2:04 pm

@ang.do you know what i want( full time care of my daughter) .my x won’t do that so I will wait to my daughter is 18 .i don’t care what my x looks like she thinks she is hot and above my morals dream on .sorry to burst her bubble I no women pride there self on looks and my x is very attractive I am not trying to knock her self esteem around or try and hurt her but she is not for me I was a child back when I was with her and now if I am honest I see ugly toad that would turn on you in a heart beat for a better deal .(hey that’s cool with business )not with family or people you love .my x never loved me gods truth she slept with everyone I had issue with speaks louder then words to me .ps good news I have found peace it’s her lose .

Ang 19/08/2018 at 3:44 am

I have a 50/50 shared arrangement with my ex. We have had so much bother, he wasn’t there at all for a couple of years, as he had a mental breakdown. Afterwards, we were able to mutually decide on an agreement which slowly worked up to 50/50.
It has been going well for a number of years now. The children seem settled. However, there are a number of factors that have come to play recently that have left me feeling really unsettled with the contact he has; as ONE example, he has a drug addict/dealer currently living in his home! I have tried to speak with him, we had one conversation which went well. But since, absolutely nothing has changed. The children go to his house, but he is often at work, and whilst he has them half the time, he in no way puts in half financially. Not even 10%! I have always said it’s not about the money, but I’m sick of paying it all, whilst he swans about buying extravangant things for his other children who live with him all the time. I sadly feel I am at a point now where I will have to get a lawyer again, and hope we can work things out in mediation or similar!
I have no idea though if I would still be entitled to legal aid, does anyone know anywhere online I can find this out? I tried a calculator on the gov.uk website and it wasn’t very specific! Just said you ‘maybe entitled’ I wanted something more informative so I had a deeper understanding. It pains me no end the amount of women that use their kids against the other parent, and here I am giving up half of my kids childhood to someone who isn’t putting them first! Thanks for reading. Tres frustrated mum!

c.laurie 18/08/2018 at 3:13 pm

even if i could get legal aid i wouldn't use it .who wants the burden of a child when you break up with someone ?.not me my ex got the short straw in my book she has to pay for schooling cloths books sports and social plus the drama of teenagers and never have a social life .sounds like donkey work to me .i only have to worry about my next hot date i get of tinder .

Stevie-ray 18/08/2018 at 12:56 pm

Hi,
My stepson has ended his relationship with his girlfriend, they have two kids. The mother has stopped all access to the children and is threatened the police if any of his family turn up.
He is not in receipt of any benefits but is a low earner.
He has threatened to stop payments to his ex (something I have tried to tell him that he must keep paying).
He is, as are we, in the dark as to where we stand legally. It seems to be such a minefield out there where legal matters are concerned.
Any pointers on where we need to start and what we need to do to get a legal ball rolling would be very much appreciated.
Many thanks.
S

SeparatedDads Editor 06/07/2018 at 2:30 pm

You son may be able to appeal to the court where he had the hearing if he feels there’s been a serious mistake. You’ll have to get permission to make the appeal and there’s usually a fee. You can read the guidance on how to make an appeal via whichIf your son wishes to apply for access to his child, he would have to go through the process laid out via whichUnfortunately, the non molestation order will have an effect if it stands when your son applies for access.

Shirl 05/07/2018 at 5:11 pm

My son was in an abusive relationship with a manipulative woman. He has a moderate learning difficulty and has been abused physically, attacked with a knife, financially, getting him to pay for a holiday that he can no longer go on. Emotionally, she will no longer allow him to see his 5 month old daughter. He is an emotional wreck. He works full time but is on minimum wage. He received a letter from a civil court telling him that his ex partner was perusing a non molestation order. She accused him of throwing a brick at her window. This not true. She sent me a txt the evening before she alleged the attack accusing me. My son was given this letter on a Friday evening and the case was heard on the following Monday morning. Hardly enough time for my son to seek help. So she has this order. Can anyone advise us please.

Dee 04/07/2018 at 12:22 pm

To the man being abused by his girlfriend:
You must speak to your doctor/social worker about this, get it documented. You need to urgently get away from your narcissistic partner! That is NOT love, it is abuse, end of. You and your child are both at risk, physically, mentally and emotionally. You do have a way out... plan it and get out fast with your child ...talk to your doctor and/or social worker immediately, and any good sane reasonable family/friends. I see your post is dated Feb 2018 so I am hoping that you’re both still alive. I am appalled that you’ve had no response/advice/help on here to date! Bless you.

SeparatedDads Editor 11/06/2018 at 3:44 pm

Unfortunately, we cannot comment on individual cases.

Dolly 08/06/2018 at 1:33 pm

I my husband and myself have been taken to court by our local housing due to things we have not done and have some proof of this. Housing have offered us a move with top priority and pay for moving, our solicitor strongly suggest that we agree as housing have several proffesonal witnesses ( word no concrete proof ). This has also been advised due to us having to pay housing legal costs which could go as high as £25,000. Also my husband's legal aid will be stopped due to housing giving a solution which is " reasonable ".
My husband is on income support but I am not, I get top rate DLA, in both and ESA.
Please can you help me as my solicitor has just informed me my legal aid has been refused due to my benefits not matching the criteria. Please please help me.

Ace 02/04/2018 at 9:43 pm

My Ex (never married) and I have one child (4 years old). I have a girlfriend of 3 months and is demanding my ex is demanding she meets her as my Girlfriend has met my Son. if my ex doesn't meet her, she will turn up at her work and talk to her or will stop me from seeing him. Does she have a right to do that on that basis and isn't that harassment?

Jj78 23/02/2018 at 4:49 pm

I've gone through mediation the ex refused to attend. So should I take the next step for the free 30 minutes with a solicitor?

SeparatedDads Editor 23/02/2018 at 3:14 pm

You would not be allowed to apply to court unless you have requested your ex attends mediation first. , which will tell you all you need to know.

Jj78 23/02/2018 at 10:01 am

Would you recommend I have the free 30 mins with a solicitor? I've told the exes sister the next step for me will have to be court. She's said that's my decision but I will end up seeing my son less. Currently see him Fri to a Monday. But not every week or being informed and all different times seeing him and different times collecting. Even if I ask for a extra day or night told no then on the day they are going to collect him usually after 6 I ask where they are and then get told there's something come up so they will collect him tomorrow. While I love having my son it's all her way and to do with what she wants not what's best for our son.

SeparatedDads Editor 22/02/2018 at 2:28 pm

There are many questions in your posting. Firstly, all non-resident parents (i.e your partner) by law have to financially contribute to the day-to-day welfare of their children. This can be through a family-based arrangement, where parents decide between them, or via CMS, based upon the non-resident parent's income. The receiving parent does not have to justify how they spend this money. If your partner wishes to apply for residency of the children (which is a completely different issue), he would have to take the matter to court if mediation breaks down. However, it is rare the court will decide to hand the children to the other parent, unless there is very good reason. If you seriously feel the children are being negelcted, then you can see more which

help 21/02/2018 at 11:48 pm

Hello myx burns me with cigarettes cheats all the time but i still love her .she only spits on me now .the hitting has got better now she only punches me and headbutts me .no forks or pans or belts .she said she does it because i need it .i know i do because i am slow and shame her in pubic because she is a model .and she locks me in the cupboard ..i want to leave this women and take my child but she takes all my money.please help

Mayer 21/02/2018 at 8:27 pm

My partner has two children, aged 7 and 9, and we have them regularly, every alternate weekend and through out the week when he has days off work, his shifts are rotered each which so they change all the time, his ex girlfriend/ current wife has put in a child maintenance case claiming we only have them a couple of times a week. Dwp says we have to pay £145 a month, we are on basic wage and it would leave us with -£92 at the end of the month. He has tried to contact her and come to an agreement stating that if we do pay this we will be left homeless and all she had to say was it isn’t her problem. The children’s have told us and showed us that there’s isn’t any food in the house as she didn’t need to buy any because either we have them for tea or his mum does or her mum does, she works in the day from 11am to 7pm so the children have to be looked after by others. The kisses have also told us that they don’t get a bath except for Monday’s when they go to swimming lessons and they’re clothes don’t get washed unless they do it them selves because the mother said “it’s their responsibility”. We have seen how dirty and smelly they aren’t when they come to us, we are on a lower wage than the money she gets and when we have them they never want to go back home, she claims money for them,£175 a week, and it’s not going on them. My partners belongings are still at her house (sofa,wardrobes,flatscreen tv,playstation 4, beds,tables) he left them there’s for the children. She has never asked us once for money as She says she hasn’t enough with the weekly allowance. Now he had a surprise phone call saying she’s file doesn’t a child maintenance case. What do we do? We want the children to live with us permanently, and so do the kids. We’re attempting mediation but will it work? And how can we have the children live with us? Fathers get a rubbish hand of the deal when it comes to Kids and we’re frightened she’s going to stop them from seeing us.

Jj78 21/02/2018 at 7:02 pm

Hi my ex constantly stops me seeing my 2 1/2 year old son. I've no contact with my ex (blocked on everything by her) had the police at the door over harassment even tho I said all I'm doing is asking for contact with my son. She said she stared mediation which was a lie. So I started it and she refused to go when she received the letter for the meeting. Since then everything goes through her sisters and they don't let me know what's happening till the day I'm supposed to have him (Friday) and then ive been let down with no contact and made up excuses. I'm unemployed and have little money to go to court. All I want is regular access and to be informed of schooling, his health and other ofaspect of his life. I'm at my wits end as this has been going on for a year. So I know I need a solicitor but I have no financial backing and I'm currently unemployed. Help is needed thank you.

merv 07/02/2018 at 2:49 pm

Hi. Me and my ex split up over 2 years ago and we have 2 boys. And she keeps stopping me from from seeing my boys because I keep changing my days because I work shifts. And now I have not seen them in 3 weeks and she has told me to take her to court. So I need some advice please how to go about it in a nice way and how much would it cost me. Considering am self employed Thankyou mervyn

Gizzmo 09/01/2018 at 4:13 pm

Hi, some advice would be very helpful please. I separated from my wife 2 and a half years ago, I live on my own in a 1 bedroom flat, whilst the wife has the marital home. I contributed to all aspects of the house in question from August 2004 to 30th June 2015, meaning mortgage etc. The Marriage quite simply broke down on a lot of factors. I want6 to go for a Divorce, but I'm not sure if I qualify for legal aid.As I'm on state benefits, and I have just turned 64, with health problem, I cant realistically see me ever working again.My income from benefits is approx. £650 a month, I'm on esa (contribution based). I asked my wife to make me an offer of a settlement out of the value of the marital home, to which she refused, I did this as I do not want this dragged thru the courts..I have a nearly 12 year old son, I cant afford to contribute to his upkeep, but, he stays with me every weekend from after school till he goes back to school on Monday morning. My wife fosters children, can still claim benefits seemingly, so I think I'm getting the short straw here. My questions are thus,,,,,can I get legal aid for a divorce (on grounds of being apart 2 years), and what percentage should I be allowed from the sale of the marital home ? (when I met my wife she only had the mortgage just over 2 years). Any advice is helpful.

Boboo 08/12/2017 at 2:37 pm

I have a induction order against my husband because of domestic violence. I have to go to court on the 14th Dec 2017 and my solicitor hasn't yet filed the papers to the court what will happen that day.

Kaz 01/12/2017 at 6:35 am

My daughter wants to no if she can get help with costs for a solicitor to take ex to family court as he will not let her see her two sons who live with him

Dg 14/11/2017 at 1:51 am

My ex is stopping me from seeing my son for no reason atall it is upesetting me to see him upset she has told me she does not want me to have anything to do with him

foxy 22/10/2017 at 8:45 pm

my ex has stopped me seeing my aghtrt and stepson.

no reason kept up paymemtsn
never missed seeing her once

foxy 22/10/2017 at 8:37 pm

i seperated from my daughter nnm 3 years ago. never missed a child sport payment. i lost mysight in one eye leaving me with no job.

i have never missed having my daghter and step s0h

she is refusing me access until it goes to cotrt

Ross 11/10/2017 at 10:18 pm

Hi my friend is from Thailand and is married to English man but are now separated she is trying to get access to daughter and cant afford solicitors

SeparatedDads Editor 09/10/2017 at 3:48 pm

You can see more whichwhich should help answer your question.

Mutley 07/10/2017 at 1:22 am

My ex partner died and I'm on low wage,we have children together but family has his property as we were estranged. They have become less accommodating as promised to my children can my 15yr old get legal help against them

Dr Grumpy 21/09/2017 at 7:35 am

I applied for LA in support of a Barder event following a divorce but I could not provide the medical evidence in time seems that even though the court failed to send the papers to me In Good time even the Pro Bono unit couldn't help so even with mental health issues I was forced to be a Litigant-in-Person and most likely did not present my case well.
The changes to the legal aid system has had a devastating effect on the outcome from my divorce particularly where the court has failed to recognise the mistakes they have made.

paula 13/09/2017 at 6:29 pm

My partner is out of work and not claiming benefits how can he get help in court with legal aid as he's been told he's not entitled to it

SeparatedDads Editor 11/09/2017 at 3:42 pm

It is rare a court will changed the resident parent unless absolutely necessary. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. As a rule, the court will attempt to maintain the least disruption as possible and will not move children from one parent to another without a very good reason. In which case you should seek legal advice.

Rob 09/09/2017 at 3:22 pm

Hi, I have two children with my ex. We have been separated 3 years now and want to have full custody of my children. My son is 11 and my daughter is 4 years old. Can I make this happen?

Charlie 08/09/2017 at 3:10 pm

My partner has 3 children to his ex wife. she has since had 2 other children to 2 different fathers and is now in a 3 bed house with 5 children to 3 different dads. she is currently part co-habiting with the latest father who also has custody of 2 children.
When my partner and his exs relationship broke down he went to find himself I guess and admittedly disappeared for 2 years he left her everything and he was forced from the home and told if he left her he would never see the kids. admitidly he never paid csa during this point or had any contact and not that im making excuses but as a young lad he didn't know where to turn. he came back and a year after met me and for 3 years we have been together and I have been with him and found out his rights. he is a very good dad and initially his ex was having none of it however through mediation which we paid for and she got for free he got to see them every other sunday in a play centre for 3 hours supervised, this then went to unsupervised, then I was aloud to attend, then his ex came saw our house saw we had a room all set up for them and via mediation we were aloud to have them from 10-5 at our house he picks them up every other sunday. he was wanting contact to increase to over night stays however his ex refuses this, he would like his sister who has never met them and his mother who only met them once to be part of their lives but his ex refuses for no logical reason other than when the eldest was born his mum said to him and her that they have options as were both very young. the mediation sessions his ex ruled them and overpowered the conversations with discussions around money, due to the benefit cap she has been hit hard which we understand and talks money all the time, my partner pays csa however they have messed a few things up and delayed things due to him moving jobs and a small period of unemployment. we are not paying backdated money and he is paying 710 a month out of a 1800 salary straight to her which is actually crippling us as a couple. for this reason paying a solicitor is just not a option. due to mediation revolving around money and the contact not developing my partner wrote to mediation and asked for the next session to not be around money and to be about contact, his ex refused therefore mediation failed and they sent me their part of a c100 form to which we have filled out a c100 ourselves with a copy of this and are looking to self represent. all he/we would like is every other weekend full contact from Friday night till sunday evening, shared 50/50 contact during school holidays,. ability to let his mum and sister be part of their lives, involvement in educational and medical appointments and a open line of communication.

SeparatedDads Editor 29/08/2017 at 3:39 pm

By what you have said, your ex does not want your child in his life which means you naturally have parental rights i.e if he returns in a few years time, you can automatically deny access and your ex would find it more difficult to have access re-instated through the courts. However, once your child is an adult there is little you can do regarding your ex making contact with your son.

Deb 29/08/2017 at 1:40 am

I have a 13 month old boy who's father isn't present at all in his life ' he just comes and go's as he pleases '
And now he's told me he is done being his father and that he will find my son when he's older to understand !!
What can I do about getting all parental rights over my son '
I don not want my sons father in his life at all now

Al85 14/07/2017 at 11:05 pm

So my situation is, my ex partner doesn't let me see my children. Our relationship contained DV and after all that she was letting me see my children, but when she found out I was talking to another woman and because I was out with the children and it was pouring with rain, I took them home after an hour and a half as I had no money to take them anywhere and it was pouring down. She then claimed I let them down and has refused to let me see them in 3 years. I have EUPD which is an emotional personality disorder therefore am on disability, unfortunately due to no legal aid I don't have the sort of money for solicitors fees etc so it's a struggle and makes me look a bad father because I haven't managed to do anything about this. But not seeing the two most important people in life does affect me emotionally as it would any father and obviously I can't represent myself due to mental health and the background and I don't know what to do am at my tether with it because it does get me down but just seems there is no help

M 13/05/2017 at 5:09 pm

Hi, For the first 5 months of my daughter life i always there and hands on with regards to her well-being. My partner moved out 4 months ago saying she wanted to end things. For the first 6 weeks of this time I had overnight contact with my 6 month old (3 times). After that time, i was denied all access without reason, i was blocked so i could not even contact my ex, (I did write letters formally asking for permission) and now its been 3 months of not seeing my daughter.
I am in the process of mediation. we both have the appointment next week. On what grounds can my partner deny overnight access? I understand the contact will need to be built up and I am willing to build that up for my daughters sake. Its sad that she may have forgotten my face as she is so young. But can my partner refuse overnight access?

If I do go to court, is there any idea of how much contact I will be entitled to?
Thanks

Danyale 29/04/2017 at 5:23 am

How can somebody be receiving lega aid representation when they are lying about thier income? This person has also been scheduled to work 40 hours a week at $9.60 hour and has not been showing up to work . In fact out of the ten days they were scheduled to work the past two weeks they only showed up to work three of those days. Where is this fair to those people who do go to work and get turned down for help.

Mankind84 01/04/2017 at 11:00 am

My ex is refusing to move contact forward I want to have my daughter overnight and my ex is not letting me until she comes to see my home which me and my current partner aren't happy with you I tried to set up mediation to solve this but she didn't show up now I'm thinking Court might be the only option as I don't feel that she should have the right to come into my home also she is very biased more than anything to use an excuse to cut or stop contact can't assured legal

steveo 09/03/2017 at 10:46 am

well ive just come out of jail and i have a 6 year old and im not allowed to see her cause the mother wont let me i just dont know wot to do and go about it. i give the mother over two hundred pounds a month and she still wont let me see her and the worse thing is that im not on the birth certificate so i dont know wot to do please give me some advice im in need of it.

Law 24 23/02/2017 at 12:46 pm

My son has a little boy aged 6 years. My son split from his ex 4 years ago and at first he was allowed to see his child but when his ex became involved with a new partner access was denied. We did see a solicitor at the time but was told we would not get legal aid and the court costs were just too much for us to afford. We have heard recently that someone going through the same scenario has been granted legal aid. Would my son be now able to claim legal aid to pursue access. He is in full time employment but on a low income. Any assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Sad_partner 22/12/2016 at 8:43 pm

Hi, My partner was recently made redundant. He also divorced in 2015, his ex wife got money from the sale of the house he was left with their debt, and was treated appallingly by the judge and her solicitor said that he was a 'Walter Mitty' when in reality she has made up utter rubbish and has made him out to be the liar. Anyway, he had regular contact with his children, 2-3 times a week where he even out the children to bed etc. Over the last year he moved up to be with me, which has led her to only allow him to see the children for 4 hours in a Sunday which has now been reduced to 2hours. It's breaking his heart. This is not conducive for a decent relationship with his children. Where does he stand on getting legal aid? What are his chances of getting decent quality time with his children? She will not even allow him to take the children out for walks. He had a high paid job in the NHS but due to cut backs he was made redundant. He has never been in trouble with the police etc. We need to have help.

Always hoping 09/12/2016 at 11:30 pm

Hi, it's hard to know what to put here but really I'm just after some legal advice and best way to go around things on 14th Feb 2013 me and my ex partner split and she took my daughter away from me in a very cruel manner basically she had reported me to police saying I had knocked her teeth out causing in my arrest for a.b.h I had to go through court in which it was all a lie the courts looked at all evidence and soon realised that I hadn't knocked her teeth out she had pulled them out herself but I did admit to pushing and spitting at her in which the courts charged me with so called common assault I admit spitting is a vile thing to do but in my circumstances it felt like the right thing to do at the time I was given 18 months probation order plus 100hrs community service. Since finishing probation I have tried contacting my ex to try to get some sort of access but whilst doing this I have had death threats in order to keep me away from my child which had now given me no other option but to go through courts.. only problem is I don't have the money to go through court or pay solicitor fees as I'm currently on benefits is there any possible way of going through court without the possibility of court fees or solicitor fees or is there any other ways of doing things...

Any advice would be a godsend as I'm a father who loves and misses his daughter deeply and all I want is a chance to be in her life

Matt 09/12/2016 at 8:37 am

Hello in may I was seriously attacked and now due to a disability I'm unfit to work and claim ESA. Since this my Childs mother has stopped contact with him. Am I entitled to any help or do I just have to let her continye what she is doing as I can't afford help ?

Matt 02/12/2016 at 11:51 am

Hi, my ex doesn't let me see my daughter anymore. She won't let me see her anymore because I used to leave her home alone, Admittedly I don't pay cms, and am on a deduction of benefits order. I haven't made any contact with her or asked to see my daughter in over a year. I also at the beginning of the year told her I didn't want to parent anymore. I have applied for mediation with legal aid help but my daughters mum can't come for about 12 weeks, I don't know why, but the mediation service said it was for good reason. I declined waiting, and have my mediation appointment next week. Can I still get legal aid for court? And what can I apply for?

Carlton 30/11/2016 at 11:53 am

My brother has a 10year old daughter. He split up from his ex when she was 2 he has always paid his maintenance and brought her loads of stuff. No his ex is saying he can't see her as much as he does loads of fun things with her and she's jealous of there closeness. She is no saying she sees her when his ex says and is saying she'll take him to court. He can't afford legal aid. Is there any way he can get free legal aid? Thanks Carlton

Danny 25/11/2016 at 1:40 pm

My ex has had a baby and is refusing me access due to a fallout now she is denying the child is mine I cant afford a solicitor or court fees who can help me

Tom 28/09/2016 at 9:12 pm

My ex partner is refusing me to have my son 3.5 days each recently as that's what it has been for 2years. She's only just don't this as she has made a child maintenance claim and wanted them to believe she had our son more than me. 2 years ago.we had a written agreement from solicitors staying we have joint residency. Now she has gone to solicitors demanding me and my mum for our address?! I don't know if i should go mediation and then straight to courts to get 3.5 days each?? What's the best way around it without her dictating me?

Jon 05/09/2016 at 11:26 am

Hi,

Is legal aid such a thing still - we're 7 years on and it's still ongoing :(

Am I allowed to know if she is on legal aid or not, and how do I get to find out (Do their solicitors have to tell me if she is ?)

pete 28/07/2016 at 4:48 pm

when i first went to the child family courts their were three justices, for the first 3 or 4 times, after fact finding cafcass, on the day of decisions and recommendations. their was only 2. is this legal...

Witsend 22/07/2016 at 9:43 pm

My partner has a daughter who lives 350 miles away neither of us drive. The mother is being difficult and won't meet half way so he can have her for a week. He's not on the birth certificate so has no 'rights' where does he stand

Knight 22/06/2016 at 4:28 pm

I received a letter from my lawyer regarding estimated costs in relation to reaching a settlement on finances and childcare if mediation fails. I've been quoted to following:

Finances - court hearings are likely to be in the region of £25-35k; and
Child arrangements - £25k-35k plus counsels fee and disbursement

Are these costs realistic and how does the average individual afford this without being eligible for legal aid.

Secondly is it possible to divorce someone who claims they cannot afford a solicitor and refuses to engage with the process.

Thanks

Ladyp 20/06/2016 at 5:50 pm

I'm unsure of what to do to help a family member.he came out of prison after assaulting his partner but social services r no deeming him a risk and demanding he goes to court.a solicitor has informed us it will be five hundred pounds to initiate contact and further 130 per hr.he isn't working and waiting for benefit to come thru.would he b entitled to legal aid.?

SeparatedDads Editor 09/06/2016 at 2:45 pm

Legals Aid is very thin on the ground these days and is only available for certain types of cases. for more information.

Dave 09/06/2016 at 5:40 am

I have just been informed by post that my ex-wife is appointing a solicitor and they, in turn, are applying for legal aid for their client. I would like to know how she can apply for this when I cannot and also the solicitor she is using I actually contacted and had a consultation with just weeks before and they said at the time they would keep my details on file for 6 months in case I was to go back to them. Are they able to represent my ex-wife, or is this unprofessional and a conflict of interest?

Kindest Regards

SeparatedDads Editor 03/06/2016 at 10:20 am

I am sorry to hear this. Most parents who cannot afford legal fees self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. You can also get the help of a McKenzie Friend, some services are free, some paid, but the advice is still much less expensive than a solicitor, please see link: Using a McKenzie Friend in Court, here. Take all the advice you can get for free, such as family law solicitors who can offer the first half hour free, or from the Citizens Advice Bureau and also use our Separated Dads Forum which should also help you with advice from dads that may have been through similar experiences and can advise. I hope this helps.

Dan 02/06/2016 at 11:29 am

I have no PR although on my sons birth certificate.
My son is 14 and has adhd
All social services etc inc police say my son is better with me, the mother has PR but does not want him, but does everything she can to stop him with me, including having him arrested, his welfare is at risk, all depts, including court are aware of this
With ADHD he needs to be listened too and not abused
In short I work on minimum wage and cannot afford a solicitor is there any help that I can get?
My son is 250 miles away from me and so difficult with travelling etc
Any suggestions will be greatly received

SeparatedDads Editor 01/06/2016 at 12:41 pm

If you agree to the decision and you wish to have the matter authorised by the court, then Mediation may be the best route for you. Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me?

hariba 31/05/2016 at 6:16 pm

Hi, was just wondering what the procedure would be if both me and my daughters dad decided she was going to live with him how would I go about signing her into her parental care if that makes sense? Thabks

SeparatedDads Editor 19/05/2016 at 2:14 pm

I am very sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, in the global world we now live in this is an increasingly frequent occurance. However, the fact your ex has friends in local government shouldn't really affect your case whould you wish to take it to court. Of course the difficultly for you is the cost that this would involve due to the international aspect and the fact that you are not on the birth certificate which means you have no rights legally. But please do not lose hope and I urge you to continue working in order that you at least have financial options in the future. It also may be worth you speaking to someone such as your GP, or counsellor for some support and advice. Your main aim now is to get yourself back on your feet and then you can explore your options from there. Also, just because your ex has seemingly moved on, does not mean she won't be back in touch in the future, so you need to prepare yourself for the possible eventuality of this.

Bob 18/05/2016 at 8:40 pm

I have a daughter to a Muslim lady in Malaysia. I flew out three times until I had no more money.

We were not married. My name is not on her birth certificate either.

She has since stopped all access to my daughter and is with someone else.

She has friends with local government so if this went to court. I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

I feel crippled with emotional distress. I am finding it hard to concentrate with work and I would be homeless were if not for being at my parents.

What advice can you give please?

SeparatedDads Editor 10/05/2016 at 2:10 pm

I am sorry to hear your brother is unable to see his children. If he cannot afford legal fees he can self-litigate, He can also use the help of a McKenzie Friend, please see link Using a McKenzie Friend in Court, here. See also: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here which will tell you step by step how to go through the process. I hope this helps.

Az 09/05/2016 at 8:21 pm

Hi I'm after some advice, my brother and his ex have split up and she will not let him see his son at all, he has sent a parental responsibility letter to try and agree an involvement in the child's life but she has not responded to it.
He receives employment support allowance due to his illness is there anyone he can turn to for help to get his son back in his life? or if need be advise me a step by step guide and I will represent him at court etc.

SeparatedDads Editor 28/04/2016 at 2:31 pm

. Firstly, child maintenance and access have no bearing on each other, so your ex cannot stop you seeing your children if you don't pay. Secondly, if you are not working then despite her going to the Child Maintenance Service, if you are not earning a wage, then even the CMS will not expect you to pay. If your ex continues to deny access, then please see the link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access here and go through the motions laid out in the article and if you are not on the birth certificate you can also apply for Parental Responsibility at the same time. If you cannot afford legal fees, you can self-litigate, here and apply for a reduction on court fees. Many parents are taking this route successfully. The Separated Dads Forum will also help if you need advise from dads who have been through similar issues and have come out the other side.

SeparatedDads Editor 28/04/2016 at 11:07 am

He can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. The Bar Council also has a very informative guide, here. He can use a McKenzie Friend for legal advice (some are free and some charge), Many parents are using self-litigation with good results, especially if they prepare their cases well and ensure they have the right information. Our Separated Dads Forum will also help for more personal advice on how to get the best from his case. I hope this helps.

Pat 27/04/2016 at 10:03 pm

Hi I'm new to this,I'm after some advice please,I've got 2 girls 11 and 9,I've had them every weekend without fail (sat to Sunday)never missed a weekend unless I'm banned from seeing them for some reason,mother has denied me as the farther since the day they have been born to council ect... And I'm not on ether of there birth certificate,I don't work as I've just lost my job and today she has said bout money that if I don't cough up she is going to csa
Please where do I stand as a farther

Jo 27/04/2016 at 8:21 am

My sons ex wife has his 10 yr old daughter. Although he sees her every other weekend his ex periodically rings him saying she can't cope or tells him he's not allowed access. His ex was brought up in care due to awful childhood and is messed up sadly. She has another child and another on way. His daughter is rarely in school. He is due to get married and has 2 step children. He has a job but wages won't be enough to go to court to gain custody. Custody is what he wants because his daughters wellbeing is being stunted and social services don't want to know. How can he take this to court with no disposable income.

SeparatedDads Editor 14/04/2016 at 2:10 pm

If Cafcass has recommended your have access to your child, then in most cases the court will adhere to the recommendation. You may not think so, but the court can usually see through any lies and do want non-resident parents to have access to their children. Hang in there, ignore the lies and the accustations and do not get involved in any slanging matches and hopefully it will come good and you will get the overnight access with your child. Keep in mind that this is not about you and your ex, but it is about what is in the best interests of your child.

sheets 13/04/2016 at 8:17 pm

iev just had my second hearing ,yet again the judge sides with my ex who keeps on lying etc, cafcass have said in there report that he should spend more time with me an overnight access but she wont except it because she is now a lesbian of 5yrs an everytime she has a partner we have to go through this ,wondering whats going to happen on the third hearing

SeparatedDads Editor 05/04/2016 at 2:29 pm

I am sorry to hear this. Firstly, if you have parental responsibility then your ex should have requested permission to move your children out of the area. I can only suggest you take the matter to court to request access, please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. Also if you cannot afford the hefty solicitor's fees you can self-litigate, A lot of fathers are having a good amount of success this way. With regards to the threats of adoption then it is unlikely this would get passed as reports would have to be provided to the courts and your consent needed. However, you could apply for a Specific Issue Order in addition to a Contact Order to ask the court to prevent this taking place, I hope this helps.

Dave 04/04/2016 at 7:13 pm

My x girlfriend took my three girls out of school without me knowing and moved away with a man she barely knew and moved from essex to peterborough. Ten months later she married him and hes putting all over social networks that he is gouing to adopt them. I feel sick as she wont let me see my girls and her other child from a previous relationship has asked for her aunt to be her legal guardian so need i say anymore. What do i do. They are planning to say i have gone awol but she knows where i am and has my phone number. Any advuce would be gladly appreciated. Thank you. Dave mullins.

SeparatedDads Editor 31/03/2016 at 2:06 pm

I am sorry to hear this. You can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. Many fathers are having a good deal of success taking this route. You may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page of help. If you look at some of the previous comments and answers, the dads who have been through similar situations before can give some great advice.

Dolly 12/03/2016 at 11:52 am

My daughter's won't let me c my granddaughter she has fell out wiv me for no reason nw is playing games wiv me seeing my grandaughter

SeparatedDads Editor 11/03/2016 at 12:54 pm

Firstly, it is unlikely you will get Legal Aid as it has been withdrawn except in a few cases and means you would either have to pay for legal assistance, or self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. If you wish to serve the papers you would have to apply through the courts for a C4 - application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. However, it does allow your ex to keep her privacy, but at the same time allow the courts to serve the papers in order that you can apply for access to see your kids..

Mo 10/03/2016 at 10:27 pm

My wife toke my kids and vanished with the help of women aid I been told by them that I am dangerous to them and I will never see them again. We had an incidents last November 2015 When i pushed her out of my way (no marks or medical report was made ) and she called the police and I was give a police caution. I don't know where they are and how to fined her address to serve her with court paper.what should I do?? And just made redundant will I get legal aid ??

SeparatedDads Editor 10/03/2016 at 2:15 pm

I am sorry to hear this. You would need to take the matter to court. If you cannot afford court costs you can self-litigate, Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. Many fathers are finding a good deal of success doing it this way.

Bones 10/03/2016 at 12:49 am

My partner has stopped me seeing my son. ..For no reason. ...I haven't seen my baby for three months. ......hes autistic and to my knowledge I've done nothing wrong. .I've been to mediation services and a solicitor. ..even cab. .....no help there. ......iam unemployed and can't afford the fees they ask. ...........Please help. .....

scared 26/02/2016 at 4:59 am

My ex and I split a year and a half ago. I always worked and he only worked the last six months of our relationship. Now I'm off due to health reasons and recieve disability. We are currently in court. I filed in December which gave him 30 day to respond. Our first court date came and we had just set up a date to attend mediation. The second time we had court was to say it didn't work and we're in the process of getting lawyers. The last time was this week. My lawyer and I wanted to set a case conference but it turns out my ex didn't file the mandatory papers he had 30 days to file. So the judge gave him another month.
Now my problem is that I have to pay for my lawyer and he got legal aid. In mediation he told the mediator he only made 17000.00 last year so she could let him know roughly what he would have to pay. I found out today he actually made double that and shouldn't be eligible for legal aid. Who do I contact to let them know he lied?

Gembo321 24/02/2016 at 4:12 pm

Hi ive been with social services for a while now and there going to go through legal assistance what do this me for me and my children

Minion 19/02/2016 at 1:17 pm

My youngest sons father wants access to him but he has a step son who has autism and adsd when his step son kick off he threatens to hit all my kids and my youngest plus his step son punches himself in the face but also I've seen my youngest son father grab his step son and pin him up the wall when he threatens to hit people when I've asked him why you do that he says to stop him, but now I feel the safety of my youngest being undertaken supervised in his and his stepson company would I have a case if he took me to court on access for him?

SeparatedDads Editor 12/02/2016 at 11:17 am

If you do not qualify for Legal Aid (not many people do these days) you can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. Many parents are now representing themselves in court and having a good amount of success, as the court does want fathers to have contact with their children.

SeparatedDads Editor 04/02/2016 at 11:41 am

I can only suggest in the first instance your friend suggests Mediation to his ex in order to sort out regular contact ( as the court will expect him to do take this route before he applies). If, as suspected, she refuses, then your friend can apply for a contact order through the courts. The benefit of going through the courts is that an order awarded will be official and if his ex does not comply with the order, then she will be in breach. If your friend cannot afford legal fees, he can self-litigate, please see our article:

Lisa 03/02/2016 at 6:43 pm

My friend has been separated from his girlfriend for over a year. They are not married. They have a son who my friend sees at the weekend, if he is allowed. The girlfriend plays games and stops him from seeing his son on numerous occasions just when she feels like it, or emotionally blackmails him to do something for her and then he is allowed to see his son. He is at his wits end because his ex is constantly using the child like a pawn. The child is only 3 years old. My friend has contemplated moving away and not seeing his son just so he doesn't have to deal with the volatile relationship he has with her. She can also be violent towards him but he isn't to her. What rights does he have because she doesn't seem to be the type of woman that would go for mediation. He works, so is unable to get legal aid, what are his options? He is worried that she will turn round soon and stop him seeing his son altogether.

SeparatedDads Editor 29/01/2016 at 12:52 pm

It is very difficult to advise on if you have an harassment order against you. If you can't afford legal fees your only option would be to self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. However, with regards to the order against you, you may also wish to seek some legal advice to see what your best options are before you go ahead and apply to the courts.

Wayne mundy 28/01/2016 at 7:11 pm

Please help. I have not seen my 2 girls since November 2013. My ex partner is being very awkward. I have been under a doctor's investigation since the separation due to me passing out at random times though out the days. I have recently been told that I'm suffering with stress related epilepsy. Now on life time pills. I have been out of work due to this so not able to fund a lawyer as you can imagine every time I try to fight I have fits because I shouldn't have to fight my ex to see my own children. I was told I'm not allowed legal aid then told I was so applied only to face a bill as I couldn't pay they closed the case. I tried reasoning with my ex I afford support in all ways. I have been to my children's house several times only tobe arrested for what my ex calls hharassment even tho one time was my new partner dropping easter eggs at their house I was arrested for that too. Please someone give the right advise not wild goose chases as my half isn't great when stressed and I'm under a lot it. Please help

SeparatedDads Editor 20/01/2016 at 1:59 pm

It is unlikely the courts would take your son away from his father's care when he has an established life (i.e school etc) and award him to his mother who lives 50 miles away. If his ex takes the situation to court, your son can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. The courts will always decide what is in the best interests of the child - stability and consistency is of paramount importance and it seems your son has offered both of these things. I hope this helps.

Chris 20/01/2016 at 4:43 am

I have a son and from day one...his mom has been messing around. I decided to leave because I could not trust her anymore. My Son stayed now there's a different man there everyday my Son has lice and fleas.can I take my son .How do I go about this.I went to see him one day..moms in the bed with a guy my sons in the crib looking at them.please help

bevybee 19/01/2016 at 7:00 pm

My son has been my grandson guardian for over 4 years now. He has been told by his ex wife that she now wants him back. He lives over 50 miles away from her and has granted her visitation rights all the time, most times he can stay at weekends and longer in the holidays. We know that his ex wife has had a troubled past with her eldest and the social services involved. She has problems getting out of bed so the 2 boys are left to there own devices.The eldest is 6 years old and my grandson is 4 years old. The house is a disgrace with wires and plugs into adapters all over the room.She has a alchoholic staying there also who suffers from schizophrenia, and has left my grandson with him whilst she goes out.My son has now stopped her from having him overnight but has told her she can still see him but only under supervision.My grandson is really settled at school and a very happy little boy. His older brother has got mental problems and is actually teaching my grandson how to hurt himself. She is also telling my grandson that he will be living with her very son.My son cannot afford a solicitor and she knows that she can as she is on benefits.
Many thanks

Grove 14/01/2016 at 1:57 pm

Hi, I'm in need of some advice as back in September 2015 me and my partner of 5 years have split up, she is being very awkward regarding me seeing my daughter, we split because I had a child by someone else before we got together and at first I wasn't in this child's life as my partner (now ex partner) made is clear she wasn't happy with me doing so.
At the start of last year I manned up and told her I wanted to be in this child's life but she told me she didn't want to be part of this, said that it's not part of her family and basically made me choose between her/our family or being in my other child life, she was so nasty towards me through the year that I had to leave, on top of this I had a seriously bad accident in work that led to having two operations last year, so I'm currently on the sick receiving employment and support allowance as I have been off best part of a year as result of my injury.
I've tried to ask her to attend a mediation meeting but she refuses and won't let me see my daughter for long periods at a time, wants every thing her way, my daughter is now 4 and wants to see me but the mother is telling her excuses and saying I don't want to see her, so I want to take her to court as it's my only and last option, but would I be eligible for free legal aid with this kind of child issue due to fact I'm currently on sick pay??

SeparatedDads Editor 12/01/2016 at 12:39 pm

You should attend court as a decision will be made without you and it is less likely to be in your favour if you do not attend. If you cannot afford legal fees, you can self-litigate, see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here . The courts will decide what is in the best interests of your children when it comes to making a decision about who should stay in your property.

Stevie 11/01/2016 at 7:11 pm

FATHER: Hi, I've been married for 11 years recently had a divorce I'm still living with ex and kids daughter 9yrs son 1 1/2yrs. The place is a council property and we have a joint tenancy. Recently my ex wife went to court, she has a molestation order against me but about 90% is false allegations. She wants to get a court order for me to leave the house. I got a letter from court, I have been given a date to attend court on the 18th January. Please some one advise me what my options are and should I go to court plus I don't have a solicitor and can not afford one at the moment. All help will be appreciated. Many thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 11/01/2016 at 11:49 am

There is nothing specific to say that your elder children cannot care for their younger sibling, especially if a parent remains in the house. Much is down to common sense and whether your children are thought responsible enough to be in charge. The matter changes if the younger child is left alone in the house with their elder siblings. If any harm comes to the infant, the parent can be held responsible in a court of law.

Rich 10/01/2016 at 1:22 am

Hi, hoping you can help as I don't know what to do. My wife (we have been separated for over seven years) has custody of my two children. My son is nine & my daughter is ten yrs old. She has a two yr old with another man. In the morning she makes my children look after the two yr old while she goes back to bed. They have to make there own breakfast & bottles for the two yr old & are left alone sometimes for a few hours while she's asleep in bed. Does this constitute as abuse or is it even legal? What can I do legally to prevent this as I'm extremely concerned for their wellbeing?

SeparatedDads Editor 04/01/2016 at 2:11 pm

Legal Aid is very rare currently and awards are few and far between, please see gov.uk link here for eligibility criteria.

Kate 04/01/2016 at 9:42 am

Hi do dads get legel aid,, as I have a son who is 5 and his dad has never been involved all he has ever done is let us down and give us abuse,, he's not on the birth certificate so where do I stand?? I thought the law changed to no legel aid???

SeparatedDads Editor 15/12/2015 at 11:07 am

I am sorry to hear this. If his ex is lying then hopefully the police and/or courts will be able to expose this. If he can't afford the hefty legal fees, he can self-litigate in court, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. He may also be able to get legal help from a McKenzie Friend, please see link: Using a McKenzie Friend in Court, whichI hope this helps.

SeparatedDads Editor 14/12/2015 at 12:41 pm

Perhaps Mediation may be the way forward for you, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. It means you can work out an agreement which may suit you both. However, at the same time, you do not have to agree to anything you don't not wish to regarding access arrangements.

Summer 12/12/2015 at 3:59 pm

Hi,
I have a question about legal aid. My brothers ex has recently taken him to court with false allegations of domestic violence and child abduction. The police let him go as there was no evidence as it's not true. The court dismissed the prohibited steps order and non molestation order in the favour of undertakings and she was told that contact with the kids had to resume every weekend. This happened for a few weeks and then she stopped for us to find out that she has made more false allegations saying he kidnapped the kids. Again its a lie and he has statements/alibi saying he wasn't anywhere near there. The police are taking their time investigating this and this whole time there is no contact with the children. Unfortunately we are not well off and can't afford the legal fees.
She is on legal aid based on her false allegations.
My question is how long can one keep receiving legal aid? Even based on lies? Is there anything my brother can do protect himself against repeated false allegations? The system is so frustrating and although I understand some women are vulnerable there are those that abuse the system and the dad's seem to have no rights whatsoever or help.

I'm a mum! 12/12/2015 at 3:18 am

I've always tried getting my sons farther to be an active in his life, sent him photos, let him know when he's learnt something new, tried to arrange activities for him to build a bond & even paid for him to come see him (never turned up as he used the money to go to the pub so ended up with a hangover) in his defence he has slightly started to mature and step up after 17 months of of persistently, (fartherhood can be scary and hard to get to grips with) so even how we had split I tried to support him as, every child deserves a farther. We had been to mediation twice but he failed both agreements as he didn't fetch him for the night as a night in town with a "friend" (may I add called our son names) but still I tried to help him, so I get to my question, I've recently allowed him over night stays for 3 consecutive weeks, then out of jealousy (of my new relationship) he rung social saying I've abused my son; been checked by doctors but gave him the perfect m.o.t, completely clear of all accusations! So my trust In over nights stays stopped, he asked me if he could have him and I've said YES on the condition we can meet to talk things over properly with his partner present, but he's kicked off saying no he'll take to court... I don't mind him having a the one night to build that bond but a wouldn't like all weekend, I also offered Sunday afternoon for dinner and playtime.

If he goes court for access will they give it him even tho im not saying he's not allowed him, it's him not wanting to agree to my only condition, where will I stand? What happens? Will he be granted full weekends? Any advice or comments will be appreciated even if it's pointing out a fault with my actions, I just want the best for my son.

Thank-you

SeparatedDads Editor 09/12/2015 at 12:19 pm

You would have to apply through the mediation or the courts. If Social Services have been involved and he has been living with you for four years, then, while there is never a 100 percent guarantee, there may be a good chance you will be granted this. You may wish to tag on a Specific Issue Order to apply for your step-son to see his siblings. Also, if you cannot afford the hefty legal fees, you may be able to self-litigate

Gypsyrose 08/12/2015 at 1:18 pm

Hi. Complicated one so ill try and simplify. My husband's ex has residency of my eleven yr old stepson. He came to live with us four yrs ago due to social workers being involved with mom and siblings. Kids were on child protection. There was regular contact with mom for two years but neglect issues and emotional neglect with stepson made us seek legal advise. Mom started leaving weeks and weeks between contact and kept letting stepson down. Then social got involved again over a yr ago and advised to keep supervised as it was advised by legal to do supervised and too dangerous to go to moms home. The last contact was a yr this month on 27th. We see mom every day on playground and not once has she asked how my stepson is and the other children are displaying emotional neglect and abuse too. We want to avoid court but we feel we want full residency and the siblings to see my stepson as she won't do anything. Can this be done. Also is there chance of residency for us both as I've been in his life since he was two months old consistently. Thanks x

SeparatedDads Editor 07/12/2015 at 1:58 pm

I am sorry to hear this. If your parents have legal guardianship and your nephew is settled and happy, then it is unlikely the courts will remove him and give the father custody, as it will always rule for what is in the child's best interests. If the Family Proceedings Court issued your parents with custody of the child in accordance with the wishes of the parent and the findings of Social Services, then your parents have as much right as his natural parents. Your parents are responsible first and foremost with his upbringing and if he is happy and content, then it is highly unlikely the courts would wish to change this. I hope this helps.

Shannon 05/12/2015 at 10:21 pm

My nephew lives with me, my mum and dad, my mum is my nephews legal guardian, and has been bringing him up for 3 years, before that he was in care and it went to court and my mum got legal guardianship until he is 18, however my nephews dad is wanting to revoke the guardianship and his dad wants him living with him, his dad is on job seekers and might get legal aid, my mother doesn't work as she has given up her job to bring him up, and my nephews dad is wanting to take my mum to court to try and win custody and he already had a son that has now been adopted after being in care and he had just got married had a baby and got another baby on the way, so he has 4 children altogether, he doesn't work and I just wanted to see if there was any chance of him winning custody as he is already settled where he is, he is brought up well and never had any problem, so what would be the chance that his dad would get custody as we want him here with us. Thanks

KP 26/11/2015 at 6:17 am

Hi Fran, well that is awful. Commonly the other parent can talk children into saying things and making allegations. As you are a grandparent you will not have as many rights as your son in this matter. I'd suggest he discusses the matter with a specialist family law lawyer, however, some practices do not get involved with matters that have local authority involvement. Should this be the case, the practice will know of the nearest firm that will help. The instructed lawyer should have the previous bundle and they will firstly know if there are grounds for appeal and make an application of permission to have the previous order set aside. (Meaning to get the case opened for consideration) This is based on the allegations you have briefed on your circumstance but obviously I do not know details for either side. KP

fran 21/11/2015 at 12:11 am

my son's ex partner has taken my son back to court for the children my son has been bringing them up for 8 yrs he had a residence order for them their mother brought in childrens services and accused us of everything including harming the kids childrens services went right against my son from the start he barely saw them but they spent a hell of a lot of time with the mother even the school went against my son due to the accusations she made every time she went to the school when she was due access she had both myself and my son arrested on numerous occassions using false allegations which when investigated nothing ever came of it no charges etc l made a formal complaint to the police about the false allegations then all of a sudden my grandaughter made an allegation of me hitting her which was untrue childrens services stopped me from seeing my grandchildren and told their father l was not allowed contact with them then all of a sudden they took his children from him and gave them to their mother even knowing that it was proven in court that she had harmed them in the historics of the case a report was made by childrens services and given to the court for the final hearing which contained nothing but false allegations about me ie alcoholabuse drugs mental heath issue of which l am totally innocent of l have never even been asked by childrens services if any of these allegations were true never visited spoken to by them now the judge has given the mother the children and my son is only allowed to see them once a week for 1 and a half hrs supervised l am thinking of taking childrens services to court for grandparents rights and to make them produce their evidence that l have done any of the above which l know there is none my grandchildren have been taken from the only home they have ever known their father who adores them and all their family their mother will not let see any of the family only her friends and she makes them walk past their home every day and they are not allowed to look or speak to us

KP 20/11/2015 at 12:37 pm

@jasim - I appreciate everything is overwhelming for you. Firstly please remember family courts hear and see these allegations all the time. Mother of the child clearly wants you out of the way, this is very common. Remember every time the other side file allegations, you have the right to apply. I note that you have had police involvement to which it went NFA. This is critical to be included in the S7 from CAFCASS highlighting that no evidence was found, no further action. You must file a response to any new allegations, more so reply by 'I totally refute the allegation and put the applicant to proof' this then puts the ball in her court to prove these allegations. As I said, the courts are used to hearing these allegations but they need to be substantiated. I am surprised that social services or CAFCASS have not reported that allegations have been made by mother but not substantiated following a police investigation. Keep us updated here.

JF86 02/11/2015 at 10:21 pm

Jasim - i am going through very similar to yourself. Its real tough man, real real tough. Its so so heart-breaking an no one understands unless they are going through it themselves. I currently fighting to get access to my son. I know exactly how you feel and i too feel depressed, but, stay focused for your child and it will all come right for you. DONT GIVE UP FIGHTING! Take care. J

Jasim 24/10/2015 at 11:39 pm

Hello, I got divorced with my wife in January 2014 and moved out to a different property. Since then I haven't seen my daughter yet. My ex filed for full custody of my child and she does not want me to see my daughter at all. She got married and given birth to another child recently. I have been attending court hearings since March 2014. My ex wife made so many false allegations against me that every time i think of those I almost cry and feel very sad. This is driving me really crazy. I am getting depressed day by day because of not be able to see my child. Court asked me to contact Cafcass which I have. Cafcass told me to do DVIP which i was doing too even though i was the victim. Atter 5-6 weeks of my DVIP course I was told my by my DVIP course provider that my ex wife has made more new allegations so my course is been suspended. I was told the social worker who did the Risk Assessment did it wrong. I was told to contact court and wait for court hearing. I work in retail but i don't make enough money to pay for solicitor so I do not have any solicitor. My ex wife has her solicitor though. All i want just to see my daughter once a week or two. My ex also made some sexual allegations against me and my daughter. Police were involved, nothing found so case was closed. But i am still waiting to see my daughter. Now Family Court Advisor called me and she said she would send the further allegations letter to the court, my ex and myself and ask for court hearing. This thing is really ruining my life. Since the divorce I cannot trust any girl and I am scared of falling into any kind of relationship again. Do you have any advise for me please? I will really appreciate it and sorry for the long query. Thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 23/10/2015 at 11:34 am

Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. You would have to go through the process listed in the article. If you cannot afford legal fees, you may have to self-litigate, see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. You may also be able to get the help of a McKenzie Friend, I hope this helps.

Paul 22/10/2015 at 5:49 pm

My daughter is 6yrs old I finished with her mom 4yr ago I have always been in her life from day 1 but past 2years her mom has only been letting me see her every other Friday if I lucky were as before I would have my daughter for the weekend or the week now I can not remember the last time she stayed with me she asks all the time when I can take her out or wen can she stay with me nxt as she dnt like just seeing me for 2hrs every other Friday but I dnt no were to start to try see if I can get legal aid to help me or even how to ask for the help

At a loss 15/10/2015 at 4:49 pm

My partner has had a very bad relationship with his girls' mother since she had an affair and divorced him in 2011. Since 2012 there has been ongoing legal battles resulting in different court orders. First was for contact as she denied him access to the girls. A year later in 2013, was a prohibited steps order to stop her from moving the girls away followed by an interim residency order for my partner due to concerns about her new partner. After 10 months social services deemed the new partner safe and it went to a shared care order in June 2014, in which my partner had the girls 43% of the time, from Sunday morning until Wednesday at 3.15 in the afternoon. This has been the case until last Thursday when his ex moved with the children into a refuge a distance away because of the partner who had deemed to be safe! There has been no contact for a week although the police and social services have told us they are safe. The girls have not been attending school. We have put in an emergency hearing and today had word from the ex's solicitor stating that she is looking to petition the court for a change of order and for contact for my partner, as she intends to stay in the new area. We cannot afford legal advice this time because of all the previous costs, but are being advised by a Mckenzie friend. I am wondering if anyone has any advice on this situation. How can this happen when my partner has proved he is a fit father (in the section 7 report), has had shared care in been a stable in the girls lives, when the eldest is in GCSEs years and may struggle with a change, when my partner has been a great help school wise to his daughters and when she has broken the court order. It seems like the police and social services are supporting her in doing this, even though the problem has been nothing to do with me partner. Please help.

SeparatedDads Editor 26/08/2015 at 2:00 pm

Please see our partner article link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here which should help you and many fathers are finding success taking this route. Please also see: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, link here as you should follow the procedure laid out in the article. I hope this helps.

ryan 25/08/2015 at 7:10 pm

Did have kids Thursday through to sunday. All going well. Was happy arrangement with kids mother. 1 of my friends needed somewhere to stay with her 3 children as was made homeless I put them up for 1 night when my kids were not here. And the kids mum flipped out and has stopped me seeing kids. I can not afford legal costs what do I do where do I stand can you help please?

SeparatedDads Editor 24/08/2015 at 12:02 pm

You can self-litigate, please see the link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I have also included a link to Using A McKenzie Friend in Court, here which should also help. Many parents are finding success through self-litigation if they prepare their cases well. You may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page helpful as many fathers have represented themselves and have come out the other side. I hope this helps.

lee 21/08/2015 at 12:33 pm

how can I get legal aid or support as I have taken my ex to court for access to my children she stopped me seeing them over 6 months ago and has claimed domestic abuse and has now claimed in court I am a drug dealer and a drug taker and I abuse my children and that I have attacked her I have no criminal record and she was able to get legal aid claiming domestic abuse and from what I have read online she shouldn't have been able to get legal aid as no violence took place and I have never been arrested before now the courts want me to pay for a drugs test but I am on jsa at the moment as her and her solicitor are claiming im a drug taker and drug dealer but have claimed they will not pay for it they are making these accusations should they not be paying as they are claiming this I have asked for cafcass to be involved as she is now claiming my daughter does not want t see me hates me and now the court have told me I am not allowed any contact with my children because of the claims my ex has made can someone help me on what to do next I would appreciate it very much

SeparatedDads Editor 20/08/2015 at 10:16 am

Eligibility for legal aid in family law cases has has been significantly restricted over the last few years. The courts now favour mediation as a constructive approach to resolving family disputes. Mediation involves both you and your partner meeting with a mediator who is an independent, neutral third party. The mediator's aim is to help you both talk things through and reach agreement. However, if mediation is not an option, which it sounds like it isn't, then you can see whether you are eligible for legal aid whichAnother alternative is to self-litigate, please see our partner article: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, whichI hope this helps.

Jj 19/08/2015 at 1:27 am

Hi. My ex is stopping then starting contact. Services are involved because at the start she said I hit her ect.at first meeting she admitted it was lies.my daughter has just been moved down to the lesser register. I am in middle of taking it to court for contact. I have met all of services assessment needs. Can I get legal aid for repnsantation at court. Many thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 05/08/2015 at 10:55 am

@r - it is rare that parental responsibility is removed from one parent as the courts would need to be convinced that removing PR was in the child’s best interests. Also, parental responsibility cannot be removed from biological mothers or fathers who were married when the child or children were born. If you were not married to your children's mother, the fact that you have a residence order for one of your children should stand you in good stead in the eyes of the courts. If you cannot gain legal aid you can represent yourself, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I hope this helps.

r 02/08/2015 at 1:13 pm

my ex is taking me court to have my parental responsibility removed from me due to me having restraing order for stalking her although this was by hundreads of txts some abusive,the restraing order states I cannot contact my 2 boys unless through family court they are also on chid proctection registor for emontaional abuse from my ex, I also have been granted parental responsibility an a residence order for my eldest child who has lived with me for 14 years without any concearns from children services or caffcass, I am concerned for my younger children an that I may have my rights removed even though the courts say my eldest must live with me,would I get legal aid I am on e.s.a any advise would be gratefull

Gilly 15/07/2015 at 9:01 am

I have been split up from my ex wife for 6 years and my daughter is now 8. I used to have her for 4 nights a week and when she started school at 4 is was practical due to distance that I dropped down to Friday through to Sunday every week. I am responsible for taking her on holidays, dentist, interest in school work and her mum does little and often has her dumped on other people so she can do her own thing. I pay maintenance monthly and I have now got to the point where I want to apply for custody as my daughter deserves a great up bringing. since leaving me she has moved house 5 times, got married and split up and dated other people who have been introduced to my daughter and its not right, how do I go about getting custody and would I have a strong enough case? any help would be appreciated.

Marty 09/07/2015 at 8:03 pm

Is there any sort of legal aid out there i an currently on esa through depression after my ex cheated on me. Now she has a child to her bew partner and lives with him the child was conceived while we were togeather. My daughter got moved away from me in a blink of an eye. I see her at the minute but becaues the lies my ex has told about she gets legal aid. She keeps putting a spanner in the works over my contact its never consistant the lies r in black and white. I feel i have no help

SeparatedDads Editor 22/06/2015 at 3:05 pm

@Scotty - you can self-litigate, see article, Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself here. Many fathers who can't afford the fees are having good success this way, especially if they prepare their cases well. I hope this helps.

Scotty 19/06/2015 at 8:51 pm

I have a court order to see my two boys twice a week for tea then every other w,end for stay overs but recently my x has stopped them staying with me as I live with my new partner and the two women to b truthful hate each other.i went along with this for a while but it's now got to the stage where she has stopped me seeing them at all,in my view she is twisting them against my partner whom I'm marrying next yr as some of the stuff that my 11 yr old has said ,his mother has said about 3 weeks earlier.iv sent solicitors letters no no evail,my solicitor now says I need to take my x to court welfare but will cost at £1000 ,which I can't afford but I'm not entitled to legal aid ,is there any establishment that can help me without the cost,it's killing me not seeing them and I can hear the disappointment in their voices when they say mummy says no to seeing them

Diddydi 17/06/2015 at 8:44 pm

I feel for all you guys out there who can't see their kids my son cant see his kids and it breaks his heart i myself can't see them either as their mother don't allow us to but she is quick to take money off my son every week for the kids, it is so wrong that they have stopped legal aid for this but i am going to fight this all the way for my son to get access to see his kids even though I will probably have to pay, bloke's need justice and rights not just women,

SeparatedDads Editor 19/06/2015 at 2:38 pm

@stilgoe27 - you need to dig deep and keep on applying. The courts do not like it when a breach of order is continuously made, as it is a waste of court time. Plus they are clamping down on parents taking the attitude that a court order is not enforceable, it is and the person breaching the order can face a hefty fine, even imprisonment, in the most extreme cases. Please see article: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here. Self-litigation is a good idea and is working well for those parents who prepare their cases efficiently, it also gives you a chance to have your own say. See Bar Council - A Guide to Representing Yourself in Court here. I hope this helps.

stilgoe27 17/06/2015 at 4:53 pm

I feel for you all lads as my ex has stopped my contact even tho there is a contact agreement in place, iv had no contact with my son since the beginning of January, I refuse to give up, I can't afford a solicitor so will be representing my self in court.

A court order is not worth the paper it's printed on as there is no 1to ensure the dads part of contact argeement is upheld by the mother. My ex has stopped contact a number of times and iv been told the same thing over and over again but I still find my self having to apply to court even tho she is the 1 wanting to stop contact

SeparatedDads Editor 08/06/2015 at 11:35 am

@kieran - you can take it to court to apply for parental responsibility, If you do not have the finances to apply for a court order, you may be able to get help to pay for it. At the same time you can also apply for a contact order in order to try and gain access to your son, see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichwhich shows you step-by-step what you have to do. If you cannot afford court fees you can self-litigate, see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I hope this helps.

kieran 05/06/2015 at 3:59 pm

Ive just bin to see my boy but my ex started.argument and told me to stay away and i carnt have anything. To do wiff him my name is not on bith s and see not let me help and wen try she says she don't want it i just don't no wot to do or wer to start

SeparatedDads Editor 02/06/2015 at 12:17 pm

@KW - you would have to take it to court if you prefer an official arrangement, please see article, When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichThere is no guarantee that you would be awarded the time with your son that you want, as this would be up to the courts to decide what is in the best interests for your son. Plus, it is likely the court will request the process goes through mediation prior to any court hearing, please see, Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. While anything agreed through mediation isn't legally binding, you would have to request that it continues to court if you want your time with your son enforced. If you are having problems with your legal fees you can self-litigate I hope this helps.

KW 29/05/2015 at 4:15 pm

My child is 3 and me my ex partner separated a while back and I regularly take him away on holiday to see his grandparents for 5 days or so. We have a regular mutual arrangement or 2 nights a week and 2 days for contact. I pay maintenance

This time he has come back and my ex partner claims he is clingy and out of routine and has now restricted night access so she is not allowing him to sleep over mine as this will put him out of routine further. This has happened arbitrarily with no discussion with myself and no room for flexibility. There is no end date to this arrangement and I do not agree with the change and feel it will not benefit my child as I also have a stable and loving family home.

What statutory right does she have to restrict access?
What steps can I take to get her to maintain our mutual arrangement?
What steps have been effective in changing arbitrary decisions by mothers?

SeparatedDads Editor 06/05/2015 at 1:59 pm

@Op - I am very sorry to hear this. Much is dependent upon your circumstances and your previous involvement as a parent. If your ex has not put you on the birth certificate, in some circumstances, you can apply for parental responsibility of your partner's child. However, this does not automatically mean you would have contact, but it does mean you would be party to some decision making about the child's future and you would also be joint financially responsible for her upbringing until the age of 18-20 and liable to pay child maintenance. If you received PR and could still not agree between you regarding access, then you would then have to apply for access through the courts. If you can't afford a solicitor, you can self-litigate, see article: Legal Aid Withdrawal - How to Represent Yourself here. I hope this helps.

Op 05/05/2015 at 6:53 pm

I was in a same sex relationship for 5 years (not married) - my partner got pregnant behind my back but I stayed with her regardless. After our daughter was born we stayed together for a year then she left me and took our daughter. I was seeing my daughter every other weekend but now it is just whenever my ex wants me to see her. I am constantly emotionally abused and she uses my daughter as a weapon and attempts to poisen her against me. Our daughter has my last name but my ex partner went out and got the birth certificate without ME and did not put me on there. I am on most of the hospital/doctors records for our child but I am scared of attempting to get legal rights incase I loose and never see her again. I also have very little funds for legal matters.

SeparatedDads Editor 23/04/2015 at 12:58 pm

@Dav - in order to avoid the hefty legal bills if you can't afford them, you can self-litigate, see our article; Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, whichMany fathers are carrying this out with successful results, especially if you take time to prepare your case properly, also see The Bar Council: A Guide to Representing Yourself in Court, whichYou can do this with the help of a McKenzie Friend, whichIt will help you to go through the process laid out in our article: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichYou may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page helpful, as there are lots of dads who have been through this and have come out the other side. Scroll down some of the comments posted and responses applicable to you. Having been through it before, our followers can give some great advice. I hope this helps.

Dav 22/04/2015 at 11:17 am

My son is 6 and we divoced 2 years ago. I initailly had contact alternate weekends and ond day in week. This changed when she moved and changed his school. He has moved 3 schools, and 3 homes since we seperated and now she is getting married, and moving him into her new in laws home.
She uses him as a weapon....and chooses when I can see him. She decides on holidays and always last minute.

Please advisE. Lawyers are asking £3000. I pay maintenance monthly.

SeparatedDads Editor 21/04/2015 at 1:38 pm

@divo2015 - I am afraid it becomes very difficult when the situation becomes international, as you have to rely upon international law. I can only suggest you get some legal advice from a solicitor in India, who will be able to advise you what your best course of action is.

divo2015 19/04/2015 at 5:31 pm

I'm Asian and my wife was British ,recently she ran away out of the country with my child ,now she have made a false story against to me saying i was violent and that's why she left the country.I'm not even informed where my child is living or not even a skype chat, some lawyer from her side called me and told me if i'm agree to give her divorce they can arrange the child visit under their terms and condition. I'm suffering with out seen my child and thinking that i'm gonna lose my child for ever.I can start doing divorce case in my country against to her and get divorce but nothing about child since she's not in the country.please it will be grate help if some one can help with an a advice for my situation
Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 16/04/2015 at 11:55 am

@damoe - initially you would have to apply for parental responsibility through the courts. If you want to play an active part in the decision making throughout your child's upbringing and be entitled to help make important decisions, and be financially responsible for your child, you can enter into a 'Parental Responsibility Agreement' with the mother, see link: Parental Responsibility Guide and Letters, here. If you can't afford the hefty solicitors' fees, you can self-litigate, see: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. If your ex is being agreeable about access, then you can come to an arrangement together without having to go through the courts. I hope this helps.

damoe 15/04/2015 at 10:33 am

I have just found out I have a 3 year old daughter in England. I want to see her and get my name on her birth certificate as the wrong father is on document. the mother wants me to see her and start a relationship which is great however her new boyfriend is pressuring her too keep me out as he thinks I will upset what they have. so if I have to take my ex to court for visiting rights I know how to go about it and change my name on to birth certificate can you help

SeparatedDads Editor 02/04/2015 at 2:22 pm

@Khan - I am sorry to hear this. I should take it back to court and ask for the payment to be stopped or reduced if you can't afford it. You can self-litigate, see Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, link here which will save you the hefty solicitor's fees. Any parent shouldn't have to pay child maintenance and £400 per month to see their children too.

Khan 01/04/2015 at 7:10 am

I have had false charges laid against me by my wife.she first called the police that I had threatened her and our children and when the police did not believe her she took out a non molistaion order . I got a solicitor and when we went to court my solicitor reached an agreement that if I did not get in touch with she would withdrew the allegation , I was not happy with that but my solicitor said that would be the best way, she also gave an undertaking that she would not use that in the visitation court, when we came back to court she put the non molistaion claim in again, I had paid the solicitor 3000 pound by now, since I could not afford the solicitor any more I went to court myself the magistrate dismissed Her allegation but they said that I could see my children under supervision in a centre which I have to pay 50 pounds an hour for 2 hours(100)pounds a week how can that be right that the charges were dismissed yet I am still treated like a criminal .my was is getting legal aid because of her alligation yet I can not.i can not a afford to pay a 100 pound a week to se my children I am self employed and I make about 100 a week.can anyone tell me if the magistrate were right to do this? I have leatarlly been kicked out of my house and diprived from seeing my children

SeparatedDads Editor 11/03/2015 at 10:40 am

@jj - It is a bit of a long process but firstly you must apply for the courts for parental responsibility for your son, This means you will be named as his father and will be liable to support him financially (you don't say whether you do or not currently). At the same time you can take it to court for access through the contact order c100. If you are struggling with finding the costs for this, you can self-litigate, see our partner article Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself here. Many fathers are finding this successful. You may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful as there is a lot of good advice from fathers going through the same issues. I hope this helps and good luck.

jj 09/03/2015 at 9:47 am

Hi. I have a son who turned 6 last week I have not been with his mother for now for 5 years due to her infidelity and having another mans child. I basically brought my son up from birth till 2 I was then messed about with contact as and when it suited her and was often only allowed when conforming to what she wanted including looking after her daughter from another man. As I wanted to see my son I went aling with a lot of it. She has a very unstable character and many incidents led to situations becoming impossible including physical attacks. Three years ago I met my now fiancee my ex let me see my son although had to take her daughter to cause problems. She had no interest in me but as soon as I met someone who I was happy with and she knew this she began a year of causing trouble lying to my partner she was pregnant lying to me my partner had made a threat towards my son all of which we both know she just causing trouble causr not getting own way. She attacked mysrlf and my partner in front of her daughter who was nearly two at the time in the street in this year. After all this things went from bad to worse. She barely let me see my son and the couple times I have seen him its only he was once at my parents and couple at my sisters. I saw my son in the street she pulled him away she does not allow me any contact at all even not allowing me to say happy birthday last week. She said I could see him after Xmas just gone to give him his presents but when it came to it I couldn't as she wasnt about. There is alot more to this but just out line of some the problems. Also she has had another child by yet another man giving her three children by three men in five years her latest partner from what I have been informed beat her in front of my son and now she is back with him . She seems to think to think it id fine to have men in my sons life but not me and tries tell everyone I am in out his life and don't bother this is not true she has put me in and out his life when suited and now for a whole year not at alll I have tried but she won't let me. My partner and I are very stable I see her children although they are older and we have her daughters son myself and my partner just want my son to be part of our lived especially me please advise I cant go on not seeing my son. One last thing she never put me on birth certificate or had never agreed to.

SeparatedDads Editor 23/02/2015 at 12:49 pm

@Jimmy - I'm afraid we can't advise on this while there is a court case pending.

Jimmy 20/02/2015 at 8:52 pm

I married a woman a year ago,having met her numerous times and after a 9 months of marriage we were blessed with a beautiful baby boy,the inhale and subsequent months were Bois,then my parents,in whose house we lived went abroad for 2 months,1st week in my wife went hysterical and tried to harm her self by breaking a plate and tried to cut her wrists in our bedroom with the gabby inches away in our bed,I called my auntie and older brother,my auntie tried to calm her down while my brother tried to pickup the baby to take him from harms way,my wife kept being hysterical and wouldn't allow him to approach the child,he raised his open hand as if to strike her/scare her and she let him take the child to another room,eventually she was calmed by my auntie and things seamed to normalise but a a week later she called the police and reported me and my brother for assault and while we were arrested she went with the police/social services,I forgot to mention that a week into our marriage it turned out that she was/is an illegal immigrant who came as visitor a number of years back and has been on the run,what I need to now know is what I can do to gain custody of my child as if she is deported she will take my son,who is British with her,I know she won't be turning up in court regarding the malicious charges against me and my brother,please advice as very desperate,cheers

Ben 30/01/2015 at 10:06 pm

hi there, im just wondering how easy it is to get legal aid on income support. I have heard it is no longer easy to do. I ask as my ex has put an application in to court through her solicitor, however i know she doesnt have the money as she has never done a days work. I have been told she has a barrister too. Also if she has legal aid would that be unlimited funds for her? It is quite scary thinking i am up against this with limited funds for solicitors. She is a very bad mother and im trying to get full custody of my son. Social services have turned there noses up at my concerns and worries. have taken him for the last 2 weeks with out returning him and he is now in a spot on routine. im so scared of him returning back to the life that he was in before, through me being ordered to return him back by the courts. If there is any one here that can offer me some help and guidance that would be great!

Ben

roni 27/01/2015 at 4:05 pm

me and my partner split 3 weeks ago. i have two kids, the ex partner has seen them twice in 3 weeks as hes been doing weed heavily none stop and also was violent in the relationship to a point he now has a criminal record and is on probation, he also has psychotic episodes, hes been diagnosed this a short time back due to the amount of drugs he had done in the past, hes very unpredictable and unstable, i cant allow my children to see him alone as i worry for there safety and wellbeing. he works and i dont understand how they havent worked out hes smoking so much weed all the time.
ive applied for mediation, will this cost me? what if it goes to court?
all im hoping for is supervised visits so someone can make sure the kids are safe. i cant let someone whos on drugs and who has an illness take my kids, i shouldnt have to worry when someone else has my children

cossiejay 05/01/2015 at 6:47 pm

due to a messy break up my children have lived with there grand mother for the last 8 years they are now aged 15/11 and 10 they live in Lincolnshire where I live in Lancashire they come and see us in the holidays etc they have all decided they do not want to live with there grandmother any more due to the mental abuse she is giving them and sometimes physical abuse (I only have my childrens word on this although I have myself heard the things she calls them ) I woulod love to have my children but there grandmother has in place a residence order which I am informed I would not be able to get legal aid ,this is a major problem as my girlfriend works 20 hours a week I look after my 5 year old daughter I spoke to a solicitor about trying to apply for a discharge of the residence but they have told me it will cost between £1800 and £3200 how is that fair I want my kids they want to be with me but it seems my hands are tied due to money and info and help please would be helpful

SeparatedDads Editor 10/12/2014 at 12:05 pm

@SteveP - this is quite a difficult one to advise on and a pattern that is becoming increasingly familiar after EU free movement of persons has made international borders both open, but closed, especially when it raises extremely complex issues over fighting for child access. Many British parents find their children are under a foreign jurisdiction if they move or live abroad and I'm afraid the British courts have no say over their future. It is up to judges in the country of your daughters/mothers origin. If the mother can claim your daughter is happy and settled in her country of residence, then they are not going to rule to move her or insist her mother makes her visit the UK. Your only real option if you want to regain contact is to see if you can save the money to visit or see if you can find work closer to your daughter.

SeparatedDads Editor 09/12/2014 at 2:06 pm

@Molly - it is always a really difficult time for fathers at Christmas and unfortunately because many are desperate to see their children, it also has repercussions on the courts in the lead up. Both solicitors get a rush of new clients and the courts in consequence are put under pressure. Not wanting to be the harbringer of bad news, the courts try to deal with the cases as efficiently as possible, but it is hard to say whether yours or anyone else who is applying can be rushed through, it's purely a matter of keeping on at your solicitor. On the plus side, they are definitely aware of the need. Separated Dads has a Facebook page, which has recently put a post on relating to how fathers deal with being away from their children over the festive period, it may contain some useful information your son can draw upon, along with other practical supportive advice. Wishing him luck that his case manages to get heard.

molly 08/12/2014 at 12:24 pm

my son is waiting on a court date to see his daughter its been about 3 weeks now is there anything we can do to speed things up so he will see her at xmas.

sunny 03/12/2014 at 4:02 pm

Hi need some advice going through family court my ex still gets legal aid but I can no longer get it as working now but can't afford solictor fees what help is there out there that could help I know that if he couldn't get legal aid then he wouldn't be still taking me to court

Smurf 17/11/2014 at 11:20 am

My partners son has been to court, several times and has now obtained a court order for access to his daughter. His partner is now calling the police stating he is assaulting her and various other things (he showed evidence that he was not where she said he had been at the time in question) she has now stopped his access the his daughter. Evertime his Ex wants something and he does not give in to her demands she calls the police with an untruth. She is getting free legal help he does not and can not afford a Solicitor. Like deano above what gives her the right to stop his contact when a court order is in place? Where can he go to get help

Tel 10/11/2014 at 10:42 am

My sons has had a restraining order put on him by his ex, the accusations are false and she has lied to the CSA about non payment. He works but does not earn much. Can he get legal aid to fight this order.

Jammo 22/10/2014 at 6:46 pm

My ex is taking me court as he wants parental responsibility and extended contact with the baby. I offered him this before and he turned it down but I've read through the form he's sent to the court and he's lied on it, making me out to be a bad person. I'm on income support but the solicitor I've seen doesn't offer this. He's a very good solicitor so I'd like to stick with him but money is a huge issue. Not sure what to do.

SeparatedDads Editor 21/10/2014 at 1:11 pm

@george - don't give up. You should be able to find all the advice here to help you go forward if you haven't got the funds.

george 20/10/2014 at 11:31 am

Hi . I am taking my ex wife to family court to get to see my kids . I don't have a solicitor as don't have the cash to pay for one . my ex wife has a family solicitor so it is very hard as I don't have one . i love my kids so much . but thinking about giving up now as I getting no were with all this .

SeparatedDads Editor 17/10/2014 at 1:34 pm

@Hev I'm sorry to hear of your tricky situation. You should be entitled to Legal Aid and will be automatically entitled if you are on income support, income based job seeker's allowance or guaranteed state pension credit. This page will give you all the advice you need to start the groundwork in pursuing your case. In the meantime it will help you further if you can stay committed to your supervised contact visits. I hope this helps.

SeparatedDads Editor 15/10/2014 at 2:19 pm

@paddy24730 - You may be able to get legal aid to help with some family matters. However, if is for something as small as an official letter then the Citizens Advice Bureau might be able to help. Or you could have a word with the solicitor you have instructed who will be able to advise on your situation and rights. Please be aware though that some firms that are franchised to undertake family law matters are only allowed to take on a certain number of cases. I hope this helps.

paddy24730 15/10/2014 at 7:33 am

I havnt seen my children for a year and a half because my ex decided to stop contact after meeting a jelouse guy. I couldnt afford a solicitor due to being employed but recently became ill. Also my children came to my door due to their stepdad passing away. My ex has agreed to sign a letter from a solicitor agreeing contact but my solicitor wants me to pay almost 100 pound for it. Should i get legal aid because i am on employment support allowance? Thanks. Ian

nick 07/10/2014 at 4:00 pm

Very supportive of my son in law who has the custody of my 3 teenage grandchildren ever since my daughter left him and remarried, Children all by their own choice do not want to live with her new partner, nor myself as even I have never even met him! \my son in law is working 3 nights a week and is in the former mat home which is in joint names even though only he pays all bills with no maintenance. She will not speak or liaise with him which is very stubborn and makes life hard for all. Son in law wants her name removing as he rightly threatens to ask for financial support for the three. He cannot afford a solicitor. Would he be entitled to legal aid?. He is on working tax credits.

Rimmer Editor 08/09/2014 at 10:41 am

@dan keen, she doesn't have any right to just stop contact like that without a valid reason. You have parental responsibility so you have just the same rights as your ex. You could try mediation or if the worst comes to the worst you can apply to the courts for a contact order, you don't need a solicitor to do this you can do it yourself. The form you need is c100 and cost around £200. Good Luck!

Dan keen 07/09/2014 at 2:51 pm

I have been separated from my ex girlfriend now for over 3 years, and have had my two children every weekend since then as well as telephone contact approx 2 nights or mornings a week, 2 months ago I told my ex that I had met someone and wanted her to meet the kids which was fine but now all of sudden she has said I'm not to have any contact and with no valid reasons other than my little girl gets upset that she cant see me through the week and my ex doesnt want that hasstle, so her reasoning is to shut me out and the problem goes away???? Can I ask where I stand please as a named father to both children as this is eating me up and I'm only 7 days into this no contact rubbish, thank you

james 123 13/08/2014 at 9:06 pm

can my son get legal aid to see his child

james 123 13/08/2014 at 8:59 pm

can i get any legal aid so i can go to court so i can see my son

Lee Editor 31/07/2014 at 12:11 pm

@Grif, you don't have to have been to mediation as you can't force her to go but you have tried and she has declined. You can make an application to the court yourself using a c100 form (there is a small fee attached to this). Are you wanting your child every weekend or just the extra night on the weekend you have her and an extra night in the week?

Grif 30/07/2014 at 6:38 pm

I split with my ex 2 years ago, we have a daughter how 4, I have her every other weekend, and that's all, I'm only having her 9-5 on Xmas eve this year. She even tried to make it difficult for me to speak to my daughter on her birthday. I am now wanting to go to court, but on the papers it says you must of tried mediation, I have asked her to go to mediation but she has straight up said no. Am i able to go to court now or do I still have to arrange mediation, pay for it just for her to not turn up to then take her to court. I'm not asking for much all I want is extra time. Have my daughter over all weekend and take her to school on the Monday, and an evening during the week for tea. My ex's answer to everything is I'm her mum I decide when you have her.

Rogered2 28/07/2014 at 8:09 am

My Ex and I have a Memorandum of Understanding. This provides for me to have the child for three after school contacts (3 - 6.30 pm) and two sleep-overs each weekend. I work early shifts which prevents me having sleep-overs on week days. My Ex continually and at very short notice, and sometimes no prior notice, stops me having this agreed weekly contact with our 5 year old. My Ex also refuses to let me have the child for more than two nights thus preventing me from having a holiday with the child. Would I have grounds for taking a case to Court to get an Article 8 Order ? (I live in Northern Ireland) I would like my Ex to stick to the Agreement and also allow me to take our child on holiday?

Does the child have a right to have holidays with the Dad?

kam 24/07/2014 at 8:38 am

i want to get a legal seperation and im in receipt of pension credit guarantee im also 64 yrs of age will i have to pay fees and also do both parties have to pay the fee

c5 23/07/2014 at 9:48 pm

Hi. I have recently separated from my wife and hope to work amicabley with regards to access but It does concern me that she sergests she is entitled to stay in the house and have me pay the mortgage? Leaving me no option but to live with my perants as I wouldn't be left with enough cash to even rent let alone pay bills on top. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks

Mups 09/03/2014 at 9:47 am

My brother has been separated from his wife for 2 years and is about to apply for divorce. During this time he has looked after the 3 children for 5 days a week, paid for school trips and shared the cost of clothes. While his ex has claimed child maintenance, family tax credit and housing benefit. This was agreed at the time of separation and signed by both parties, although informally. Both parents work and with all the benefits the wife earns far more than my brother. She is now demanding more access (she will put them in after school club and be able to claim this) This is so that she can claim maintenance from me. Can she do this?

jools 28/12/2012 at 5:25 am

My partner has kept out of his son's life for 13 yeas as his x is on heavy medication and has thretened the childs life if my partner tries to see his son. Can someone tell me what is the legal age for a child to chose which parent he wants to live with

Obsidian_Winter 14/12/2012 at 12:20 am

Hi,A friend if mine found out she was pregnant. They used protection and she was told she would probably never have children, so she tried to talk to the father about keeping the baby. His response was "not interested so you can eff off" and he vanished. When he heard he was planning on claiming CSA payments for the child, he called her and threatened to go to the courts claiming she is an unfit mother if she tried to make him pay, and that he would get loads of people to back him up.She is now scared that he will do that if she tries to get support. My husband is currently fighting tooth and nail to get access to my stepdaughter and I remember hearing that the government were planning to scrap legal-aid for fathers petitioning for custody. Is this true? (Normally I would be dead set against it, but if this sod, who gives all fathers a bad name, can't access it then that would be a blessing)

Cols 26/10/2012 at 11:18 am

Hi Rob, Thank you for your reply however she is taking me to court and I understand legal aid is not an option for me but how are we expected to pay such high costs as if we are rich. As I didnt have the money to pay the solicitors retainer of €900 to begin the case I am now unable to submit anything to the courts until the day because I didnt respond within the given period. How is this Justice??

Cols 25/10/2012 at 4:18 pm

I lived in Spain for 8 years with a Spanish girl to whom I have 2 children, in 2008 we seperated and she had the house, the contents, the car, everything although her financial input to the household was almost nil.
I returned to the UK and paid maintenance which was the amount the spanish courts impose based on the average salary in the area she lives.
She was never happy with the payments and it finally resulted in me not having access to the children therefore payments were stopped.
I now must attend court on November 7th in Spain, the cost of legal representation in spain, the costs I have paid here to give power of attorney to the solicitors, the cost of the Procurator, the cost to travel to attend court means I must try and get finance in order to pay the rising costs. Is there any financial assistance I can receive and as my solicitors havent given me any information on what the outcome may be I am increasingly stressed and concerned considering my ex partner is trying to claim 70% of my net income for 2 children and also expects I travel to Spain twice per month to take the children for the weekends. All of this is impossible for me and I have no idea what to expect. I would be grateful for any information/help you can provide. Thank you

rob 04/10/2012 at 10:00 am

With the changes to legal aid that are coming it it’s going to become extremely difficult to obtain free legal help if you have to take your ex to court. That means seeking any redress will be considerably harder, as much of the emphasis will shift to mediation, which won’t always be possible.

kev 14/02/2012 at 9:19 am

I have just completed the contact order forms and am about to submit them. I cannot afford a solicitor and will be representing myself. Has anyone else undergone this process and how did it turn out?

deano 05/12/2011 at 12:09 pm

Why do the courts not come down hard on women that break court orders. what gives them the right to stop my contact when a court order is in place