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Am I Entitled To Pay Less Child Support?

Author: Chris Nickson
Am I Entitled To Pay Less Child Support?

Your seemingly simple question actually raises a lot of very interesting points. You pay the amount mandated by the Child Support Pensions and Social Security Act 2000, which amended the Child Support Act 1991 and 1995, which said the non-resident parent should pay 15% of net income as child support.

However, if the child and custodial parent are resident outside the UK, the 2000 Act doesn’t apply, according to some sources, which could leave you free to petition for a change in the amount of maintenance paid.

Also, if you have to travel long distances and spend a great deal in order to have regular contact, you might be able to petition to have the maintenance reduced.

Perhaps surprisingly, the one factor that doesn’t seem to have any influence on the proceedings is the remarriage of your ex-wife, although you might suppose that would be the one that would affect things most.

You do have a financial responsibility to your daughter until she’s 16 or until she’s 19 if she remains in full-time education; that’s very much the law.

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Something you don’t say is how you and your ex arrived at the 15% of your income figure, whether it was agreed mutually, through mediation, or imposed by the courts, or whether her move to France occurred after the divorce.

It would seem that you’d like to reduce your child support payment, and that’s understandable when you’re paying £6,000 a year. However, before you start consulting a lawyer, consider a few things.

From the number of cross-Channel visits – both ways – it would seem that you and your ex are on good terms. Might it be possible for the two of you to talk and maybe arrive at a lower figure for child support? Something arrived at amicably is much better for all parties than going through a legal process.

Additionally, if you are on good terms, taking legal action to reduce child support payments could sour those good relations. Given that you have 10 more years of child support payments and visits, the goodwill might outweigh the money.

But, before you do anything, sit down and have a talk with your lawyer who can give you the proper advice in the situation. Find out more about child support payments in our guide, here.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Child Maintenance Calculator lets you find out how much child maintenance you should pay or receive. Takes less than a minute. Try it now →

268 Comments
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Lsmith 25 Jul 2023
If your kids stay with you for 51+ night in a year then you don’t need to pay the other person (mother)
mc1 21 Jul 2023
I currently have shared custody of my kids they stay will me 3 day per week. My ex does not currently work so i pay her an agreed monthly maintenance for the kid. My ex is about to take a job where her salary will be greater than mine dose this mean i can stop paying maintenance or does she have to start paying me maintenance?
Disabled Joe 12 Jun 2022
Congratulations on getting married, injoy your wedding bless no need for you to be on these sites then worrying about your disabled ex as you stated he's never paid support and your child is legally a adult .so put your time and energy into your new husband I think its wise to give up theses blogs and focus on your new family .that's my advice.
Annie 11 Jun 2022
Hi. My ex husband and I have a family arrangement for Child Maintenance. I am soon to get married and my ex always said if I remarried or got anyone to live with me he would cease payments. My fiancé is a wonderful man and disabled and is unable to work. He is in the ESA support group and receives PIP. He does not work or have an income other than these benefits. We have a joint universal credit claim. I understand that my husband to be 's income is not included in the calculation of the amount my ex husband pays to support our daughter who lives with me and is in fill time education until she turns 19. I will want to change my name at the bank once I remarry. Do I have to notify the CSA of this ' change of bank details'. My bank account itself won't change, just my married name. I don't want to conceal anything from the CMS, nor do I want my husband to follow through with his threat to cease payments. The delay in going through the CSA to make a CSA arrangement would bring financial distress to our family home. I want to do what is legally and morally right and to protect my daughter from hardship the withheld child maintenance would cause. We divorced without any financial orders in place as my ex refused to settle on agreement. I do not receive any spousal maintenance payments. Never have. My ex has always made his payments on time, but I am afraid he will cause financial hardship once he discovers I have remarried. Will the CMS be obligated to inform him ?
Mark 14 Jun 2021
Hello. I need some advice. My ex contacted the CMA in 2017 to say I wasn't paying her enough maintenance. I was and they confirmed it. She then did not contact them again until last year (2020). They then wrote to me saying that they had taken my salary from 2017, which was 56k (the last record they had) and have estimated that I should now be on 57.5k. I phoned them straight away and explained that I was made redundant from that job in September 2017 and then took another job on 40k. I have explained that in the 4 years since they have miscalculated my salary I have never earned the money they say I have, even to the point that at one stage I was unemployed for three months. I also made it clear that throughout this time, even when I was unemployed, I continued to pay my maintenance. Nevertheless, they have still come back to me saying that because the figure they had in 2017 is not more than 25% of the salary I earn now, I still must pay it. Surely the 25% rule should be based against an instant change not one from 4 years ago?
Zeek 10 Jun 2021
Hi I am a dad that's been fighting for my daughter through court since Jan 2020 I pay CMA every month but I also pay 520 a month in contact centre cost that does not include petrol and the food and toys i buy for her to play with every week. I have been told to ask for my discounted on the basis of the amount of money i pay for contact is this a thing or not. 908 a month i pay not including the other costs. Also court which by the next time i go will bring me to a total of 10000 all down to false allegations made by my ex partner. Can someone help me on this please.
Jonathan 17 Mar 2021
It is possible that next month I will secure a secondment that will mean a significant increase in my salary. It is likely to be over the 25% threshold which will mean i need to inform the child maintenance people. However, I am determined that my ex wife shouldn’t benefit any more than she already does from my hard work. She already receives a large amount each month and the children are very fortunate. If it is more than 25% can i start a private pension to ensure that gross salary doesn’t grow by more than 25%. That way i dont need to let anyone know and it will be next years payments that are affected.
Jenner 16 Jan 2021
My boyfriend pays his x wife 500 pound a month for 3x kids 1 is 18 working 2 is two days at college and then has a part time job his 17 3 rd is 11 and still at school , his signed the house over to her she works and has a boyfriend living there is he paying to much ? This is how much is payed 5 years ago when he left ?
gigi 10 Nov 2020
Hello - My husband is 62 and has a 10 year old. He has no income and has been living off of his savings (inheritance). His ex has been living with her partner for nearly two years and they have just purchased a £3,000,000 house (her partner is very wealthy). She refuses to work despite the fact that she is well educated and employable. My husband has been paying £200 a month but has given her much more than that over the past 6 years, including £50,000 shortly after they separated. He pays all the private school fees and has shared custody where the child spends 40% of the time with us. His ex just sold her home and will have profit from that. He feels that he should not have to pay monthly maintenance any longer given all of this information and would like to ask her to begin paying 50% of the school fees. She will most definitely object. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Ace 11 Oct 2020
Hi I I have a quick question I have two kids 13 and 11 with an ex partner and I have 3 kids and am married now and my ex partner is married I'm the only one that works in my house and her and her husband both work she hasn't being getting maintenance off me because I have the kids 3 days a week and I split the cos of school thing with her if she ever needs me I'm there but now out of nowhere she said she wants a 100 a week do I have to pay it to her she has her own house a new car and a race horse I rent for 850 a month and live week to week
tiri 7 Aug 2020
I have been paying cms without any problem. I started a university course in September 2019. My income went down by over 50% because I am working only part time as a student. I provided payslips, student letter from the university, and a letter from SFC as evidence that I am no longer working full time. CMS refused to adjust my payments and they want me to remain on the payment plan that I have been before I started my studies. I appealled and the tribunal judge dismissed my appeal saying there was not enough evidence that I don't work full time. I am thinking of appealing again because I can not afford to pay what they want me to pay. Is there anyone who can help me please. I have been pay 12% of my earning from my part-time work. I don't know what I should do. I failed some of the modules due to pressure from these people.
worried dad 8 Apr 2020
I wonder if anyone could help with my question, might be a complicated one... I have a family based arrangement with my ex-wife for the last 10 years. The children were staying with me in the UK 6 days out of 7 as she wouldn't let me have them the 7 nights. 3 years ago I transferred with my company to Canada and continued to pay the same amount each month, plus fund the kids coming out to visit for the Summer. She has just had her long-term partner move into her house in the UK, one of the kids has just left school and is due to start a BTEC course at college, the other is 14. My question is firstly, do I need to continue paying now that she's co-habiting? I will obviously fund what they need directly as I have a relationship with them not her and continue to pay for their flights and visits once able to do so again.
Upset father 24 Mar 2020
My wife left me in Dec 2018 after a long marriage. We have three children, aged 26, 24 and 14. The older two work full-time. My wife applied for and was granted child support for £1000 pm in Jan 2019, to be reviewed annually. I also pay £3200 to my wife, separately, as provision for her financial support and for her to pay her lawyers through the divorce. I earn money through PAYE employment plus taxable profits from my self-employed work. So far, Child Maintenance Service have just used my Self Assessment Tax Return (SATR) to calculate my 14 year old child's monthly payments. Should they deduct the £3200 per month from my SATR to arrive at my net income (pre-tax but after expenses to her) to calculate payments to my 14 year old?
Hugh 1209 4 Mar 2020
Evening everyone quick question just gone bankrupt my wife and I are on benefits only income except my wife gets maintenance for her child from the ex every month just been told by official reciever that this money can be used to pay my ipa is this allowed? ? Doesn't seem right that her money will go towards my debt many thanks
Benny 10 Feb 2020
@bethleight.i new (nothing about fathers rights or child support back then gods truth ).like I said she left to be with her boyfriend and blocked me changed number and then called the police on me for messaging her .i got in (trouble )then had no contact which was a (good thing) .so I don’t no about (child support) the child grown up now .i haven’t seen her in (11 years) I don’t know about this (stuff) .i (honestly )thought back then I had (no rights) gods truth from (everyone telling me )to leave her alone and let her and her boyfriend raise the child .and told me that I am (no one) it’s up to the (mother and boyfriend now) .so I just did (nothing )plus I didn’t want to get in any more (trouble) and in reality (back then )if the mother wanted to get (rid )off you all they had to do is call the police and once you have a (order) on you .you can’t see the child anyway so it’s (bloody pointless )it’s was in my best interest to walk away and start a fresh and try and forget about the child .how I am the bad guy ?
Benny 10 Feb 2020
@bethleigh.no I don’t have a (wife or a child)but yeah I am unemployed (atm)I do have a 16 daughter from when I was a (young fella )I have (never had any responsibility’s off her) she left with her (mother at a very young age) and I haven’t seen her what I’am supposed to do ?.i didn’t no anything about (rights back then) i just thought that’s it she moved moved miles away to be with her boyfriend and she blocked me changed number .i said back then oh well that it .how I am in the wrong ?
Bethleigh 10 Feb 2020
Child maintenance payments have stopped as dad said he's now a stay at home dad and his wife works so he now has mo money to pay . Is that it ? He just stops his responsibilities and thats it?
Raddish 19 Dec 2019
I am a single dad. I have two young children, one is disabled, who live with me. I also have three children who live with my ex. I earn only £130 a week and am on benefits to support myself and the two children who live with me. My ex took me to court for CMA and I have to pay 40% of my income to her. This has put me into poverty and I cannot afford the oil for my heating or hot water. Are there any grounds for reducing the payments given my circumstances? Thank you Raddish
TOSH1 24 Nov 2019
Hi, My ex-partner and I have 3 children together. When we separated. my eldest (who was 14 at the time decided to stay with me) the other 2 children moved with the mum. All three children visit my home after school every day and the two younstest were picked up thier mum at 6pm. My ex decided to go via the CMA. I asked for payments for my eldest and my ex made a total of 4 payments. which I asked the CMA to investigate on numerous occasions. My eldest is now away at university and I am still supporting him financially. I have been paying money directly into my ex-partner bank account for anything that the other two might need for the last 3 years, above what the CMA have asked that I am entitled to pay. Earlier this year, after an argument my ex went back to the CMA and claimed that I had missed payments. I was then put into a plan and had to pay them directly even after I had provided proof that I had paid more then I had meant to.Whilst I was on the plan, I still paid directly into my ex account and I believe that I have overpaid. I am now being asked to attend a meeting with the CMA. My question is what is, Can I stop paying CMA and pay directly into my ex-partner account as I know that the CMA take a cut. and also am I able to claim any money directly from my ex partners account.
Chris 29 Oct 2019
I have 1 child who I pay csa for, I have just moved out of my parents and bought my first home with my gf, she also has a daughter, as I now have mortgage payments to contribute to and household Bill's, if I earn more money to be able to afford these do I have to a copy my csa payments will also have to increase? Thanks
Steve.s.d 18 Aug 2019
Hi, I have had a recent letter from the csa to say now I should be paying nearly 400 a month from the usualy 250 I’ve been paying. Its because last year, we had a big job on and I did quite abit of overtime to pay off some debts and they looked into my annual income for last years. But for the last 6 months I have been back on basic money and no overtime. My basic money is 1800 a month, around 2300 before tax and national insurance. I worked this out on the csa calculator and it’s says I should be paying around £230 a month, which seems plenty fair to me. I am on nowhere near the money I earnt last year and paying 400 would completely cripple me. I have heard that if I can show them my last 3 payslips of my 1800 a month, they can change that stupid high amount back to the £230. Does anyone no if this is right? Thanks.
Rabb 8 Aug 2019
I have 4 kids I pay child maintenance to 3 is through csa when I phoned to say about my daughter to see if it would be cheaper they said sorry we can't take your daughter into consideration why is this.
DannyG 5 Jul 2019
I have had a family based arrangement since 2007 for two children. I divorced in 2008 and part of the settlement I received 33% of the equity our marital home property the ex because she had the children too 67%. Due to a last minute conversation that she could not move due to debts I forfeited another £6,000. I then paid maintenance to her and has regular access to the children and had 50/50 access. 13 years later my oldest is now 18 and I have refused to pay as by law I don't have to she is not happy with the proposed payments to the youngest now 13 1/2 years old. She has taken me to the CMS. The question is surely the equity in the house and extra £6,000 payment is taken into account when this CMS calculation is made as I have provided monies then that has benefited her and the children.
Munter 3 Jul 2019
Hi, if I have 1 child and my ex and son live mortgage free in a house I paid for do I still have to pay child support?
SRL 30 May 2019
My ex wife has been living with her new partner for quite some time now with our two children. I see have and see my children every other weekend. I have been paying an agreed monthly based amount to her every month which we have agreed (not through the CSA). I am understood to believe that my ex wife has now remarried. Will this affect what I have to pay to her each month? Any advice would be much appreciated. Regards
Raft 19 Mar 2019
Hi, if I was to leave my job and travel for 6 months or a year would I still have to pay maintenance?
Pete 24 Feb 2019
CSA want me to pay 429 a month for my son with my ex wife. What I dont understand is my partner has 3 kids with different dads not one pays a penny how can I afford to keep these and pay that CSA should look at individual situations. I'm struggling to pay the bills.
Debz 22 Feb 2019
Hi my husband pays £400 a month for his two children. We recently heard that because I have 2 children and we are married, my children are classed as his independent children to. Will this reduce his child maintenance payments?
Chris 21 Jan 2019
@raju.it depends on your( income )just because she (remarried means nothing) if you are the bio father you have to pay sucks balls I know but its the rule .i never had to but my relationship with the mother off my child was (open )on her side but I was no angel myself I just (covered myself better) .anyway that’s ancient history now .i made a choice not to see my daughter because in reality I wanted to (go bad )I was sick to death off been a (goody two shoes )and cut loose drugs ,fighting whores ,and no responsible off looking after children i am older now and tried to change my ways but I can’t it’s ingrained in me to be this way people need to come to terms with it or except it if not leave me alone because I will not change for anyone .
Raju 20 Jan 2019
Hi there, I have 2 kids 8 and 9 with my ex-wife. She has remarried and now lives together with her new husband. Am I entitled to any change in child maintenance payments?
Kenny 6 Dec 2018
I have two children with an ex wife. My daughter is ten and my son is six. I am paying just over £300 a month. She is getting married and had a new child with her partner. My question is as my wife has refused me access to see or have my children. Should this affect my CSA. Not to mention that the new partner lives with the ex and also works. Any assistance would be great. Thanks in advance
Stevo 30 Nov 2018
I have split up with my wife who I have 2 kids to I have my kids through the week. Feed them and school etc.. I also have them the weekends to stay over sometimes both no nights but not all time both nights.. I problem have the kids just a bit more than my partner She is also getting money from my parents for the kids and help towards her rent.. would I still owe csa.. My partner is saying £90
confused 12 Nov 2018
I have a recent case arisen where i have been asked for child maintenance for my 11 year old. since then i have remarried with 2 children under the new home. the terms of the separation after a previous lost job 6 years ago came to a court agreement of 1 pound per year but ex still maintains all assets handed over. the new claim i feel is a result as my mother passed away 2 months ago however there is no inheritance to claim for. under my current salary i am asked to pay 9,000 per annum but the real issue i have is that i am aware that ex is living in an 1.05 m (as per zoopla) house, and child from previous marriage is going to a private school of at least 18,000 gbp per year excluding additional costs that private shools have. Where this money comes from could have been from a previous relationship (unmarriad now seperated) or her family wealth which is well established as being very high. what are my rights here as the current claim would make my current family incredible hard to maintain and of course we cannot afford private school or indeed to purchase a house. pleased to hear what actions i can do . kindest
Duffin 30 Oct 2018
So i HAVE 8 year old daughter with my ex but now have a son 7 months old how muxh would they be looking to take a week
Sar 21 Oct 2018
Hi. My bf has 2 children one age 6 and one age 3. He pays child maintaince for them both. Me and him have moved in to our new home. He is self employed and i will be on maternity leave as we are expecting a baby. Can I ask if the amount of money he pays towards his other two children will reduce?
Nikkijean 16 Oct 2018
I have 3 kids I pay child maintenance for if I move in with my partner will my payments for my 3 children come down as my partner has 3 children herself from her previous relationship I.e when it’s says other children you live with do I include them or not as they aren’t mine?
SorryRonnie 23 Sep 2018
Hi I Currently pay £180 a month for my child who lives with her mother and her three siblings, as well as her new partner not the farther of the other children or someone who is employed id just like to point out. The mother creates a abusive relationship with my child and it effects her attitude and causes a lot of arguments she has started to spend more and more time with me. What right do I have to allow her to stay with me full time and stop paying maintenance or reduce payment if she spends more time with me? There is currently no court involvement and my name is on the birth certificate. So I believe its 50/50 custody?
SeparatedDads Editor 21 Sep 2018
Your only recourse is to appeal if you think you have been treated unfairly
Shaz 20 Sep 2018
Hi I have two children with my ex wife she has moved to wales with her new partner I also have got married and have a child to support I have to pay 475 every month towards csa but I’m struggling financially due to her putting me in debt aswell and leaving it all to me I will be paying that off also Iv been bankrupt and need to pay more than 10.000 back is there no way my child maintenance can get reduced
Dave 5 Sep 2018
Hi, I currently pay my ex £290 a month. She lives with her new partner and their new baby. I also have a new baby with my new partner now and I’m struggling. Does my payments to my ex partner go down at all now I have a new baby to provide for as well?
SeparatedDads Editor 23 Jul 2018
You will be expected to continue to pay while the mother is still deemed eligible to claim child benefit, as child benefit and child maintenance run hand-in-hand. , which includes the list of the courses that are considered government approved.
lee 23 Jul 2018
can I ask my daughter is now 17 still living at home with her mother and is at collage she is doing a very basic course just enough to be classed as full time 12 hours as advised to do by her mother is it true I have to keep paying full support for her until she is 20
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Jun 2018
You are not financially obligated to helping support your new partner's children (that is the proviso of their own father). Therefore, your child maintenance payments will not change.
Davidddd 27 Jun 2018
Hi all I currently pay 325 csa I'm looking into moving in with my new partner she has 2 children 1 being disabled just wondering will my csa go down when I move? I wouldn't mind paying it if it went on my kids but it doesn't
SeparatedDads Editor 19 Jun 2018
Your ex's new partner is not financially responsible for supporting your children. Therefore, you would continue to pay child maintenance. Child maintenance is not based on your ex's income, but yours.
HiteshP74 19 Jun 2018
Hi All, I would like to find out if I still need to pay or reduce the amount I give for Child Maintenance to my ex wife if she is now in a new relationship? As we couldn't come to an agreement on how much I should pay to my two children, we decided to use CSA to work it out for us. I do also pay additional costs to the children's other activities (School clothes, swimming, tennis, trust fund etc) which is not covered by CSA and that I'm still willing to continue to pay, but as she now has a second income do I still need to pay it? It just feels like I'll be paying for him as well as the ex wife and kids. Any advice is greatly appreciated Hitesh.
James 7 Jun 2018
Hi, My ex-partner and I had four children together but when the relationship broke down she moved the Children 390 miles away without my consent. We were not married but I have found it very difficult to raise the money to take her to court as she completely cut contact with me leaving no number or address. She was very abusive toward me physically, mentally and financially and left me with many fraudulent debts which also has had an impact on my income. I would like to see my children but am unsure how I would go about this and whether I could get a reduction in my £400 a month maintenance payments if I travel to see them.
SeparatedDads Editor 13 Apr 2018
You can see more about child maintenance variations via whichwhich will explain all you need to know.
Rob 12 Apr 2018
Just need some advice I have an agreement with my ex to pay £230 a month but I drive 220 miles each way to see my little girl can I claim fuel again my child maintence payment or not? Thanks in advance
Richard 9 Apr 2018
Can anyone help please. I have not seen my son since August 2015 his second birthday. I have no idea where he lives or how he is and the last photo I received was Christmas day 2015. I was paying maintenance directly through the bank into his mother’s account around 1000 a month and due to no contact decided to reduce this to £600.00 in a bid for contact to be made through the email I sent up when he was born; this is still set up. After 8 months with still no contact I reduced payments further to £300.00 – I took a call from the CSA advising my case was with them and asked for £619.00 a month; I declined to pay stating I want to know where my son lives. They were simply not interested and I was treated like a scum. To cut to the chase they now directly take from my wages £769 a month and yet I still have no idea where my son is living, if he is actually receiving this money and if he is ok. I want to know my son is ok – can anyone suggest anything please.
Bud41 27 Feb 2018
Can someone offer some advice please. I have an 18 yr who has recently given birth to a child and I am being expected to continue payments for maintenance as CB is still being paid for my adult child. I believe child benefit is being claimed fraudulently as my child is not and not been in education since September. CMS say as long as CB is paid I have to pay and as long as they plan to enter into education I have to pay. My issue though is she is now a parent and surely claiming CB for her child so an adult in her own right??
Dreday 1 Feb 2018
Hi, I moved to the States a year and a half ago with my now American wife. I have a 13 year old daughter who I wish to visit me for 6 weeks in the summer holidays. My daughter wants to come here for the full duration however her mother only agrees to 3. I think she's being unreasonable wbu only allowing me to see her for 3 weeks out of 52. Where do I stand or will I have to go to court to get court permission.
MAH 22 Jan 2018
Hi, I've been separated for 5 years now from my wife and 3 children, I used to have a family based arrangement which was fine, but my ex has now moved 200 miles away with new partner, and also gone through C.M. direct pay which has now caused me financial difficulties. I have had to move out of my rented 2 bed flat (which I had so the children could stay over) to a 1 bed flat, ( which now makes it extremely difficult for then to stay now).. as well as to see them I have to do all the travel there and back to see them as she refuses to share journey costing me a fortune on fuel .... now due to all these expenses .... i cant see my children because after C.M. has taken payment I am left with only enough to pay rent and utility bills, not even enough for a proper food budget, let alone fuel to see my children...I have written several times to my ex pleading to make an alternative arrangement but refuses to answer me. I can't go via a legal route as have no funding to cover it....please can you offer advice..thankyou
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Jan 2018
If you are unhappy with the result of this decision, you may be allowed to appeal, We cannot comment upon whether CMS is correct or not, or how this decision was reached as we do not have knowledge of CMS administrative processes.
Tim 17 Jan 2018
Hello everyone, My ex-partner is denying me access to my child because we don't agree on the child maintenance. It is my understanding that issues regarding finances can legally not be mixed with matters regarding contact with the child. Unfortunately I cannot find any references to this law online. I would like to show this law to my ex-partner to show her that was she is doing is illegal - and hopefully I can see my child again, while we resolve our differences. Any advise would be very welcome. Regards, Tim
Pete 16 Jan 2018
Hi, I spend £7000 a year in travel and accommodation so I can keep up contact with my son. Child Mainantence Service have taken a variation and have only reduced my weekly payment to my ex by £20. It doesn't add up. Any advice please. It's all to do with the gross business I think, a I right? Thanks.
Londonbased 5 Jan 2018
Hi, After some advise if possible. Split with my ex partner mid of last year due to concerns she was speaking with other people and not being faithful. Not married thankfully. We own a house jointly and I moved out reluctantly as she stated if I stayed there she would move out and not let me see my children. I reluctantly moved In with parent and have come to an agreement where I see my children every other weekend and once in week. I am paying quite a lot in CM due to a high income and also paying half of the mortgage even though not living there is this correct? Wasn't sure if my CM payments would cover this? Hate the fact of not seeing my children on a daily basis and grow up and have just started to come through the bitterness stage as the last few months have been horrendous. Its been nice (well not nice for other suffering dad's) to read threads on this site that give an insight aswell as advise which has enlightened me also. Many thanks for your help.
SeparatedDads Editor 1 Dec 2017
I would not advise you to stop child maintenance payments. Child maintenance payments and any other financial issues are separate from each other i.e as the non-resident parent, you are responsible by law to financially support your child's daily needs. Any other issues should be dealt with separately, either mutually, via mediation, or through court. If you have a family-based arrangement, then your ex will have the option to apply through CMS and child maintenance payments and costs would be attributed to this arrangement. Also, child maintenance is solely based upon your earnings not what assets you own etc - which is a different matter. Only if your ex agrees to your suggestion, would this be a workable arrangement.
JP 30 Nov 2017
Hi I’m currently paying £70 per week maintenance on an informal arrangement with my ex partner , which is broadly in line with child maintenance calculator based on my earnings My ex and child live in a house I have paid for , and am paying mortgage on which was raised on other properties I own solely Our existing jointly owned house I have lived in since our separation , no repair / upkeep / costs have been met by my ex in the 2.5 years we have been separated I paid for this house outright using savings and by raising a mortgage on two rental properties I owned , meaning I’m still paying this back and can if I so wish get her beneficial interest in the property down to a small amount if it were ordered it should be sold At the moment she is alienating me from the child’s life and making life difficult , after 2 years of shared custody , following me having a new relationship recently she has manipulated my child to a degree where she doesn’t want to see me as she knows how her mother reacts when she sees me and has a good time I need to address all issues and wonder wether I am within my rights to stop maintenance payments as her accommodation and running costs are far in excess of maintenance I would keep the maintenance payments in a separate account for my child’s future use such as if at Uni , house deposit etc Any advice much needed and appreciated
Lopl 26 Nov 2017
Hi, I have recently moved in with my partner. He has 3 children with his ex. They did have a mutual agreement that he would have them for 3 nights every week and they calculated together the maintenance fees together. He was paying maintenance every week to her as agreed of £49. Since I moved in with my partner she says that my partner has not been paying enough maintenance, even though they calculated it together, and now that I have moved in his payments should go up. She is due to have a baby with a new partner in february. When this baby is due will he be able to reduce his payments to her?
SeparatedDads Editor 20 Nov 2017
You would have to pay until the court order makes the decision of whether your daughter should reside with you (in which case you would stop) or with your ex (in which case your payments will continue). You can see how much you should be paying via whichThe fact your ex and her partner have a good income is not relevant. The non-resident parent is by law deemed responsible for paying to support the day-to-day welfare of child regardless of what the other parent earns. If you stop payments for the duration of the court case, you could find yourself with some hefty arrears.
kev 19 Nov 2017
i have been paying £200 a month for my daughter since i split with her mother. we were not married and she's moved around with work ,Germany, Cyprus ext for the last 8 years. i have had to deal with extra expense etc to even see my daughter over the years. she got married approx 6 years ago and i continued to pay the £200. my ex partner separated last year and moved back to uk. recently my daughter came to live with me and this was agreed verbally, she was enrolled in school and i started receiving child benefits, after 3 months my ex partner refused to bring her back to me after a visit and legally i have no rights as we both have parental responsibilities. i have filed a child arrangement order last week and waiting to go to family court. the other day i received a letter from the Child maintenance service asking for me to contact them and that based on information i should be paying double what we had previously agreed?.since her move back to uk a year ago she has be cohabiting with her new partner and the both have a good income where do i stand legally and can this be diverted until the court application has been heard ?
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Nov 2017
Calculating what you should pay can be done through the CMS calculator here. You can also ask CMS Options this question via the site.
Nae wise shelley 17 Nov 2017
Can I ask I have supported my two sons as agreed. However the parent wants more and has gone to csa. One son is 17 he is in college and also received pip and received high care component. Is any of this taken into account when assessing what I need to pay.
Jim 4 Sep 2017
Why is it that the financial settlement in a divorce (ie for property) does not have any bearing on child maintenance? I was married for five years and my wife did not contribute to any of the capital (it was my father's legacy - someone she never met), and yet walked off with well over 50% of the equity. We have one child together. As well as paying her maintenance, I am effectively paying for her house via my (much) higher re mortgage payments.
Mr B 3 Sep 2017
Hi, i was with my sons mother for 4 years, because i wanted to end our unhappy relationship she called the police on me and made horrible accusations up saying i hit my son and her etc etc. Truly horrible experience but its over now, no evidence to support her outrageous claims and social services had no problems saying i was not a danger to my son - luckily I kept all messages from her proving she was lying!! anyway i've tried to offer her money each month - refused, tried a parenting plan - refused - tried mediation refused - now she is controlling when and where i see my son, all on her terms, i cant even have my son stay over night so we never get quality time together. im lost and don't know what to do, i want my son at the least 2 days a week. so far ive opened an account in my sons name and have been putting regular money in each month, ive kept all communications from HER as she only speaks through text. Am i missing anything? what else can i do, we were never married but i feel she is planning more misery for me and my 3 year old boy. I would appreciate any advise
SeparatedDads Editor 8 Aug 2017
You can obtain free information and advice for Child Maintenance Options. However, the fees and charges include: a £20 application fee for applying to the statutory scheme, a 20% collection fee on top of their usual child maintenance amount for paying parents using the Collect & Pay service and a 4% collection fee deducted from their usual child maintenance amount for receiving parents using the Collect & Pay service. You can see more via which
Nina 7 Aug 2017
I was just wondering if I was putting in a claim to get cma off my ex boyfriend do I have to pay a cost to get it started?
SeparatedDads Editor 1 Aug 2017
If your husband feels he is being treated unfairly, his only recourse is to complain
Sarah 31 Jul 2017
Hi there - my husband and I have just got married, and I have 2 dependant children. He has a daughter, who is now 22, but he is still having to pay child support of £216 for the next 18 months, because they say he has not paid all that he should when she was younger - surely this is not allowed? I also have 2 dependant children - does this not get taken into account by them? Thanks in advance.
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Jul 2017
I think in this case you might wish to complain or appeal
BV99 26 Jul 2017
Hi, CSAtook monies direct from my employer under ATE agreement. That stopped last year when I came out of employment. Started work again and payments are continuing under the CMS system and all seemed fine. Then out of the blue CSA write to me advising they did not ask for the correct amounts from my employers going back to 2003 and are demanding £2175.86 in back dated monies due to their error?? Where do I stand? Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Jul 2017
The Child Maintenance Service will take into account the number of children the paying parent has to pay child maintenance for. This includes any other children living with them and any arrangements that have been made directly with an ex-partner. If your partner pays via a statutory CMS arrangement, then
kaylj 14 Jul 2017
Hi, my partner and his ex have a child of 4, they're currently going through the divorce and he pays her maintenance, however me and my partner live together and are expecting our own child together, how will that effect the money? he pays her does the money go up or down, as you can understand it's hard to look at the earnings and what can go on our expected child when he has so much going towards his ex-wife.
SeparatedDads Editor 24 May 2017
No, this will not make a difference to the amount you will pay.
Dad 23 May 2017
My ex wife and I have a son who I pay maintenance for. She is in a new relationship and is having another child. Does this effect the amount I now have to pay?
cavey75 8 Mar 2017
Hi I pay my CSA every month directly out my wages, my ex wife has now re married and had a child of there own. Do my payments go down now she has new family, they have 3 cars big house and 4 holidays a year while I struggle as a single man, no extra help like tax credits etc I have my children almost every single weekend is there any help I can claim or entitled too? Thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Mar 2017
If there is a change regarding your circumstances, you can apply back to court for a variation. You may wish to see how much you should be paying which
Jon 5 Mar 2017
Hi need some enlightenment please.I have remarried 3 years ago and still paying ex wife amount according to decree nessi.but the issue is when we got final divorce we were long separated and have a child then with my partner then and current wife now and since remarrying, my ex is still asking for more money and was wondering if i should tell the court that I have 2 kids with my current wife so my child support to my ex wife should be recalculated as Iam trying struggling to keep up as ex wife demanding more money all the time.also it says at the age 16 I can stop support and ex wife both 18 but im still paying a lot.I want to do what is fair on both my kids from ex wife and my current family not to suffer too.
Thommy 27 Feb 2017
Hi all, my ex wife refuses to pay me maintenance for our daughter because she is self employed, I pay monthly for our son who lives with her as I am employed and if I don't the CSA will take the money direct from my employer, the system stinks, she has declared that she earns 24k per year but she rents a three bed house, has holidays, runs a car, pays rent on her shop for 24k? She was earning over 60k when we were together 7 years ago and hiding all the cash. Should I report her to the tax office?
SeparatedDads Editor 24 Feb 2017
I'm afraid your ex's earnings are not taken into account. It is your earnings as the father and by law you have to pay child maintenance to support your children. Your only recourse is to negotiate a family-based arrangement with your ex directly. However, if she wishes to continue to recieve the assessed amount of money, it is her prerogative.
jj 23 Feb 2017
Hi, my ex earns over 3 times as much as I do and I am really struggling paying the amount on child maintenance. Im in debt because of a loan I had for the house w3 had.. which she now owns. I want to start a family with my new partner who has no children, but i see it only makes about £6 a week difference if we do! We are both on low wages... combined still half what my ex earns.... can this not be taken into account ? I want to pay maintenance to my 2 children but also want to start a life with my partner... it doesn't seem fair thst we have to struggle whilst my ex is loaded! It will make my new child almost have a less quality of life than my other 2? Obviously we would be very lovely parents..hope that makes sense! Just quite frustrated.
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Feb 2017
I'm afraid you are in a bit of a tricky situation and it sounds as though your ex has had some legal advice regarding her position. Unfortunately, the initial mistake you made was to move out of the house as this makes it more difficult to re-claim your property when there are children involved. The court will always decides upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children and it would be likely to allow your ex and your children to remain in the house until they have completed their education, in order to avoid disruption. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options. With regards to mediation, a mediatior is only there to help guide the conversation, and although an agreement may be reached and overseen by the court, it is not enforceable by law; only the court can do this. Please also see CAB link here which will explain further.
Mr_Dee 1 Feb 2017
I’m seeking some legal advice regard a 3 bed house that I solely own. My ex-partner and I have been living together in this house along with our two children (4yr & 7yrs old). We are not married and the relationship had broken down last year April and I agreed to moved out into a 1 bed rented accommodation with the view of giving us some space, with the hope that we would reconcile down the line. I have been paying all of the bills, mortgage and living expenses for both properties as she was not been working. The house in owned solely by myself, I’ve not receive any financial contribution from my ex towards the purchase nor the upkeep of the house as she’s been a stay at home mum. It is now become apparent that reconciliation is not on the cards. My ex-partner has started working from Nov 2016 and I’ve asked her to start contributing towards the expenses of the house but she refuses to do so unless her name was legally put on the house which in light of how things are, I’m not prepare to do. She has taken on some of the utility expenses since but I am still having to pay for the mortgage despite not living in the property. It’s the bulk of the expense and its a significant financial burden I cannot upkeep. She is refusing to move out, not even into rented accommodation but keep siting that she wants to remain in the home because it’s in the best interest of the children. I have offered her a few options but unless she gets 50% of the house and also for her to remain living in the property – she is not agreeing to any of it. She’s just stated that she no longer wishes to discuss this with me any further as she feels that I’m trying to bully her into an agreeing to something which only benefits me, so has suggested going to mediation. If I attend mediation, can they force me to give her 50% share of my property that I purchased and paid for all by myself? All I want is my property back so I can create a home for me and my children. Can you please offer some advice on what my legal position is on:- a) Acquiring my property back? How do I best go about that? b) If I wish can I put the property on the market for sale, thereby giving her reasonable notice to vacate despite that she is currently living there with my two children but without contributing towards the mortgage payment? Seeking some advice what my legal rights are or whether she has a claim to my property because we have children and she is currently living there with them.
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Jan 2017
If your daughter's mother gets re-married, this will not affect you having to pay child maintenance to her. You are considered responsible for supporting your daughter's day-to-day needs until she leaves full-time education regardless of her mother's marital status.
Dave 8 Jan 2017
Been trying to google an answer to this but not having much look My daughter is studying law and has told me when my ex partner gets married my legal obligation to pay child support ends We dont have the csa involved its a mutual agreement My daughter is 13yrs old and maybe if this is true in a couple of years time i would prefer to pay it into my daughters bank account to get her used to managing money
Hoe 6 Jan 2017
Do I still have to pay csa to my ex partner if I currently live with my new partner and another child?
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Jan 2017
In a word, yes. Regardless of whether your ex re-marries, you are still considered to be financially responsible for the welfare of your biological child until your child finishes full-time education.
Davido 4 Jan 2017
Hi do I still have to pay csa if my ex gets married
tez 20 Nov 2016
Hi.my husband I'd paying csa to his ex wife for his daughter.we found out over a yr ago that my husbands daughter has been living with her grandparents for the last 5 yrs! My husband has argued with csa telling them he doesn't want his ex wife having his money as his daughter isn't living with her mother.csa have phoned the grandparents but they say she only stays 2/3 nights a week.the grandma rang my husband and told him she doesn't want to be involved and it would affect her pension if she declares her living there permanent! Because my husbands ex wife claims child benefit we still have to pay her csa.our argument is we want the child to receive the money not his ex wife because clearly the child does not live with the mother.what can we do about this please.we are frustrated and feel its unfair that the child is getting nothing as the child has told us this plus surely what she is going is committing fraud!
Mallon 20 Nov 2016
Hi,I wonder if anyone can advise,I currently pay my ex wife £537 child support, for my 15 year old son. He has recently got himself into a bit of trouble ( typical teenage boys). His mother has said she can't do any more to help him so he is now living with me,I don't want any financial support from her but want to know if I can lower the amount of child support to her to the point of giving her nothing if he continues to stay with me. He needs lots of support and I feel I can offer this support and get him back on track.
MKGuy73 19 Nov 2016
Hi My ex and I split up and have an out of court / CSA arrangement for maintenance, however my ex has moved to New Zealand and told me it was for 3 months via her work but when they had an earthquake and I couldn't get an answer I called her work who advised that she resigned a while ago. My question is it seems as though this move is permanent and that there is very little I can do about it so am I still responsible for child maintenance. my ex has re married and they have a son together so I am not going to break a happy family home as that would adversely affect my daughter.
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Nov 2016
If your son is over 18 and not in full-time education up to A'Level standard, then it is unlikley you would have to continue to pay child maintenance regardless of his court win. Every parent has the basic responsibility to provide for their child up until the age of 16, when they are legally allowed to leave school and get a job. After this age, it depends what your child chooses to do. If they continue in full-time non-advanced education, not higher than A-level equivalent, for at least 12 hours a week, then your maintenance payments will continue until your child finishes or until they turn 20. However, if your son is in receipt of interest from his claim, this may be classed as an independent income. If you are paying via CSA/CMS they will tell you if his child benefit has stopped and if it has, so will your maintenance payments.
Tomo 17 Nov 2016
Do I have to still pay csa if my child has won over 1 million £ in a court case he's now 18 and lives with his mother and I have no cantact but I have been paying csa all his life, he won a negligence claim 4 years ago.
SeparatedDads Editor 15 Nov 2016
Every parent has the basic responsibility to provide for their child up until the age of 16, when they are legally allowed to leave school and get a job. After this age, it depends what your child chooses to do. If they continue in full-time non-advanced education, not higher than A-level equivalent, for at least 12 hours a week, then your maintenance payments will continue to your ex, until your child finishes the course or until they turn 20. Only if your ex agrees can you pay directly to your son. If your son decides he wants to go and get a job, or an apprenticeship, then your payments will stop. Child maintenance payments stop when child benefit payments do. 
Hitcdad 14 Nov 2016
My 17 year old child is in non advanced education. When hes 18 & officially an adult I am still due to pay CMS direct to him, fine with that. As he's an adult can I pay it to him vs. paying it to my X? She spends CMS on herself & not all of it on him & his needs.
Dog 21 Oct 2016
Does my csa go down if i move in with my girlfriend who as children of her own
SeparatedDads Editor 26 Sep 2016
Much depends upon the disparity of your incomes, please see CMS calculator here. Usually, if both parents are earning the same amount and you share the care of your child, this will be cancelled out generally by agreement of both parents. However, if your ex is not working, or is a stay-at-home mother, or only working part-time, then you would be seen to be part financially responsible for your child.
Ron 26 Sep 2016
Please can you help ? I have been paying child maintenace for the past 5 yrs to my ex wife but we have 50/50 shared care, Am I right that I no longer have to pay because we have complete 50/50 shared care ? Do it make any difference that I earn more than she does ? Thank you so much for your response
Fedup 15 Aug 2016
My partner has three kids with his ex and a baby with me. His ex has stopped him from seeing the children for nearly three years since he met me. He had to pay over £18,000 In solicitor and court fees over the three year period to see his kids. He was paying £500 Csa every months during this time. 6 months ago the judge has finally allowed him to see his kids for 5 hours every Saturday, but he's not allowed to take them to our house or anyone else's house, so he has to spend these 5 hours out and about which cost a bomb, every Saturday he spends between £150 and £200 on cinema, fun fair, lunch, presents, ice cream, swimming parks and much more. From September Csa wants to increase his monthly payments from £500 to £860 for no apparent reason. Their youngest daughter is 7 years old and the oldest is 12. My question is, since all three kids are in full time education shouldn't she be sent to work? She claims all sorts of benefits, income support, child tax credit, housing benefit, council tax reduction, and she lives in a council house. She gets free school dinners for the kids and free after school club. Why doesn't she go to work ? She has no disability or illness that prevents her from working. My partner gets paid £2700 PCM and we pay £1500 in rent per month but apparently this doesn't matter to Csa. The £1500 that we pay in rent don't include the bills and the council tax. He had to pay petrol to go to work, food and so much more. What is he supposed to do to support his family and his other kids? We can't afford to get a solicitor. What can we do to reduce it? It seems like we would be better off if he left his job and joined the "benefit world".
SeparatedDads Editor 15 Aug 2016
You don't say whether you have fallen into arrears. If you have been paying your ex through a family-based arrangement, then it is up to you to decide between you what you pay. However, if you fall into arrears, whilst in this agreement your ex cannot claim. If you have fallen into arrears because you have not paid through the CMS/CSA this is a different matter and you will be liable to pay the money owed, please see CAB whichIf you feel you have been unfairly treated, you can complain, please see gov.uk whichI'm afraid this is all I can suggest as there is no alternative way around the law.
John 14 Aug 2016
Hi just wanted to know where I can advice from was paying my ex last 6years by standard order but know she going through child maintenance they want £600 a month my total income is £1030 a month I am ready loose my flat they said not there problem and don't pay there take legal action please any help am ready to get deeper in depression and loose will to live
Noidea 12 Jul 2016
My ex has now married will my payments go down. Am I entitled to ask this? I'm re married recently too and have 2 other kids to support.
SeparatedDads Editor 14 Apr 2016
Every parent has the basic responsibility to provide for their child up until the age of 16, when they are legally allowed to leave school and get a job. After this age, it depends what your child chooses to do. If they continue in full-time non-advanced education for at least 12 hours a week, then your maintenance payments will continue until your child finishes the course. If your daughter changes her mind and decides that she wants to get a job and not continue in full-time education - which includes studying for 12 hours or more a week - then your payments would end in the September after her final school term.
danno 13 Apr 2016
does the cost of child maintainance go down after the child reaches the age of 16.i was told to inform the cms when he reached the age of 16 which I did but nothing has altered,any advice gratedul.
Dave 8 Apr 2016
Hi I pay csa to my ex for our daughter. It's a long story but I don't see my daughter at the moment I am going though Leagl routes. But my current partner and I have a daughter together she's a year old and in January we are putting her into preschool at the age of 2. It's expensive but we want to learn and get use to it before school. I was wondering if my csa payments go down to help cover this for my child that lives with me not that I love the other any less. Thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 6 Apr 2016
You can see how much you should be paying whichAlso, you can apply for a 'special expenses variation' see CAB whichI hope this helps.
cooper153 5 Apr 2016
Hi I like to know how much maintenance I should be paying I earn 1400 per month but I have to travel from Southampton to Birmingham so does fuel get taken into account.
SeparatedDads Editor 24 Mar 2016
If you wish the arrangement to become more formal, then you can apply through the CMS, However, the CMS will take into account periods he is not earning and if your ex can't pay you, for instance because he is ill and not being paid from work, then you may (if it's a family-based arrangement) prefer to come to an agreed compromise.
PALLINAA3 26 Feb 2016
My ex partner gives to our son, born last October, £ 250,00 per month saying that he cannot afford to give him more because he has to pay the maintenance for his ex wife (300 £) and her daughter (500£). Is it possible to ask to reduce these figures in order to get a fairer maintenance for my son? I live in Italy and he lives in the UK and I am unemployed at the moment. He never comes to Italy to visit his son neither he asks about him.
lisa 26 Feb 2016
There are two boys. One who is 16 and his mother is receiving child support payments. The other boy has now turned 19 and is living with his father. he is working but as a casual as he is having 2 operations in the next 6 weeks. One a foot so he cannot stand. The 19 y/o is completely supported by his father for accommodation, food and petrol. The father earns about 75,000 P.A ? The son will not be able to work at all for the next 3 to4 months. As the father is supporting the 19 y/o can he have his support reduced for the 16 y/o The father is now paying $220 per fortnight. plus a $350 rental. the father has no financial future and will never own a home. Does the income and circumstances of the wife have any bearing on the payments. She owns a $1.5 million home and has declared $70,000 income p.a Also Millions of dollars in real estate with rentals. It is all under a company name. She has received large amounts of government support over the years, owned her own business ,and rented out the bottom of her apartment for 300.00 p/w How do this happen.
SeparatedDads Editor 24 Feb 2016
I would speak to the CSA/CMS directly to see whether any financial concessions can be made due to your disability, especially if your partner is caring for you and/or he has had a drop in income as a result.
SeparatedDads Editor 24 Feb 2016
Certain expenses can be taken into account under a 'special expenses variation' and your gross income figure can be reduced, if you pay through the CSA/CMS and if you qualify, I hope this helps.
Apple 23 Feb 2016
Hi my partner of 7 years has 2 children by his ex partner which he has always provided for and has regular contact with. They stay fri to sun ever fortnight and have regular holidays each year. Recently his ex has withdrawn 4 weeks from him plus the annual holiday with no warning! She's contacted CSA and told them he falls into band A I believe. After many exchange of email she won't offer anything or give him any real reason but says he is just worrying because he has to now pay more! Which is completely untrue. Anyway I'm really worried as im now disabled due to a tumour I had removed from crushing my spinal cord just over a year ago. So I'm now disabled and can't work. Are income has dramatically dropped and my partner is trying his best to support me. If his ex gets the extra money im not sure how we will cope and I'm worrying if we don't start paying it before mediation goes through we will end up back dated. Can anyone offer advice ?
Adam 23 Feb 2016
Hello,I have to travel from Lincoln to Derby to collect and return my daughter on a Friday and a Sunday.Will petrol costs ( £40) effect my payments ?
SeparatedDads Editor 17 Feb 2016
Many thanks for your comments. It's a complicated issue and if parents have a family-based arrangement and the non-resident parent can ask to reduce payments if his/her ex and primary carer of the children re-marries, as that is a decision made by the parents alone. However, if it goes through the CSA and for example the mother moves in with a partner or gets married, that won't affect the father's maintenance obligations to his children, he is still responsible for them financially until they leave full-time education or get a job. However, if there is a financial maintenance agreement directly with the ex, this will cease if she remarries, or in some cases, cohabits. On another note; if the non-resident parent moves in with a new partner, and the new partner has children from a previous relationship living with them, then child maintenance to that person's own children may be reduced. I hope this makes sense.
weemazda 16 Feb 2016
I seen on one comment you told someone if there partner remarried they would still have to pay child maintanences when that's no true this is information that is not advertised but you can find out about it I have copied and pasted the information below in hope it helps others thanks changes if you enter a new relationship Payments to you will stop if you remarry or enter a new civil partnership. Living with someone else in a relationship, without marrying or entering a civil partnership, doesn’t automatically mean that payments from your ex-partner will stop. But he or she could ask you to agree to reduce the amount, or stop payments altogether. This is on the basis that there is someone else who is now contributing to your living costs. This can be complicated so it’s worth taking legal advice.
SeparatedDads Editor 4 Feb 2016
He can assess how much he should be paying whichHowever, the assessment is made regardless of what his ex earns, or what she spends her money on (that is her choice). If it goes through an agency such as the CMS, child maintenance is based solely upon his earnings and what the CMS calculates he should pay to support his children. He can get a reduction through the CMS on the amount of nights he has the children - but if he chooses to buy them Christmas presents etc, then this is his own decision and nothing to do with his child support payments.
Daisy 3 Feb 2016
Hello, My partner is divorced, and a father of two very beautiful children. However I feel that he is paying too much child maintenance. His solicitor seems to think he is not paying enough and shouldn't try to change it in case he is made to pay more, which i find incredibly upsetting. At the moment he is earning £4000 a month and he pays his ex wife £600 every month. That's a total of £7200 a year. Which is a lot. He does both school runs every day Monday-Friday, he has them stay at his house Monday, Wednesday, Thursday (up until 7:30pm, and feeds them dinner), Friday and then Saturday during the day. He also has them One Sunday a month as his ex wife works every fourth Sunday. He buys all of their clothes and pays for any extra activities, plus Christmas presents and Birthday presents for them. His ex wife works full time in car sales, earning around £1500 a month plus commission (she made an extra £2500 last month). She earns enough to cover her rent, bills, and food. She spends his £600 on nail salons, expensive clothes and nights out. Which her bank statements show clearly. I do not understand how she is entitled to so much money, taking all of this into consideration. I was hoping you could give me some advice? Kind regards.
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Feb 2016
It depends whether the agreement with your ex is a family based one of through the CMS/CSA. If it is organised through the latter, then this is the blanket figure you pay as a responsibility towards your children's day-to-day care and you have no say regarding how your ex spends the money. If you have a family-based arrangement, then the finances are agreed between you and if you disagree with elements of the arrangement then you are free to negotiate other terms between you. If you cannot agree between yourselves, then Mediation may be the way forward. Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me?
Arose ad 1 Feb 2016
i pay my ex £200 a month for my two kids every month without fail. They stay with me 1 night every week then Friday-Sunday night every other week on top of this. The consistently arrive with the same clothes on there back shoes etc etc. recently speaking to friends of ours and family I've discovered a lot of my money isn't actually being spent on my children, but rather herself. Feeling I could use this money for them a lot wiser, do I have any legal leg to stand on if I offer to buy them whatever they need? Obviously I would still provide money for food, gas, electric but the shortfall on this use to get them new clothes and open savings accounts for them both. Any help would be appreciated
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Jan 2016
Do you know what school/college they may be in so you could request the information directly? Is there a member of the family that might know? Alternatively, you could ask a solicitor to write an official letter to your ex to request the information. If you have Parental Responsibility, then you may also be able to write to the Child Benefit Office to see whether they are still in receipt, as if they are not receiving Child Benefit, then you can cease child support.
mac 27 Jan 2016
I have three sons who stay with their mother i have been paying csa for ten years now my sons are 16,17 and 18 .I am not in contact with them unfortunatley thanks to their mother.So I am unable to find out if they are still in school or further education.I asked the csa to investigate they told me that they could do nothing regarding finding out the current state of affairs,my ex has previous for telling lies. So that I have to continue with payments.Is there any way i can contact anybody to find out thier current status?
SeparatedDads Editor 27 Jan 2016
You don't say if he is living at home with you or your ex. If he is living at home with you, then theoretically you should not have to pay child maintenance and in fact your ex, if earning, may have to pay child support to you. However, if your son is living with your ex, and he has ADHD or dyslexia, there is no reason why you would be eligible to stop paying child maintenance.
Richie 26 Jan 2016
I make payments via the CMS to my ex. Can I get a reduction if my son who lives at home has adhd? He has been statemented with ADHD and dyslexia?
SeparatedDads Editor 26 Jan 2016
You can see how much you should be paying via the CMS Calculator here.
Spooky 25 Jan 2016
I am separated from my wife I have the children Friday night until sunday night giving them breakfast dinner and tea there ages are 13 and 9 also during the week while my ex works evenings do I get a reduction in the child maintenance I pay to her as I give them stuff here . Not skimping get on my children would never do that but some advice would be appreciated
Tdog 23 Jan 2016
I have been living with a new partner for 3 years and paying child support to my ex. My new partner has now medically retired and receives PIP as well as an NHS pension. Does the fact that she now claims benefit affect how much I have to pay in child support?
SeparatedDads Editor 20 Jan 2016
If you have another child, then the CSA will review your case again. The fact your ex has received an inheritance will make no difference to your payments, as your payments are based on your earnings alone.
Las 20 Jan 2016
Can anyone help me please I pay csa to my ex partner it was £50 a week but I know have another child with my current partner I told CSA and my payment went down to £36 a week .If I have another child with my current partner will my csa go down again? Also my ex partner has inherited £25k + would it help me letting CSA know or would I be pointless ?
Jenn 15 Jan 2016
My Partner has been separated from his ex for over 3 years, he has a 10 year old daughter with her, who he pays a pre agreed monthly amount (outside of CSA etc) for and whom he trys to see as much as he can. Hey used to see his daughter alot more when he lived in the same area, but due to the lack of reliable long term jobs in that area we moved when he got a job further away. We now live about two hours away. There were gaps in how often he (we) would see his daughter as we have to plan and consider money and length of visit, so we have to schedule visits during term breaks etc and during our move we have also missed a payment or two, which she was at the time more than understanding about as we were both settling into our new employment (getting emergency taxed etc). Since gaining a more reliable long term job where we are now he has payed a small back payment(s) to all missed payments. We don't earn great amounts and are trying to save, which at times seems like a completely hopeless endeavor. His ex has, since their split, had another child with another man, who has nothing to do with his child, and as far as we are aware makes no payment/efforts to see it/her. Since we she had this second child (who she also chose to name with my partners sir name, although not his child) she has become more erratic in her behavior, amicable one week and then hostile the next, she uses CSA threats among other rants and raves. Just for more information me and my partner have no children. I am worried as it costs allot to see his daughter and we don't want to have to reduce that for the sake of being able to make child maintenance payments (more money) as well as causing unnecessary stresses and tensions that im sure his daughter will pick up on when we do see her. The amount we worked out on the calculator comes to a ridiculous amount that neither my partner or i could manage should her CSA claim go through (as the CSA dont consider outgoings). It would cripple any chances of us seeing his daughter (which as stated before is less due to distance). My partner loves his daughter and I have an amazing relationship with her and would hate it all to come to tension/stress/a stop because we couldn't afford it on top of CSA (CMS) payments. His daughter doesn't go without, we make sure shes well clothed, fed and gets everything she needs and within reason what she wants. My partners ex pleads poverty and then flaunts her new LC tv screen/sky tv/xbox(es) & tablets etc online, this makes his daughter some times act spoilt and addicted with technology. I cant see how all this "new gear" bought pretty frequently by my partners ex can constitute as "suffering" and it doesn't feel fair that we would have to give more than what we can currently afford. Is there any advice that anyone could offer, or a link/ anything as we are desperate to solve this amicably and in a soft way so it doesn't cripple us financially or his relationship with his daughter.
SeparatedDads Editor 15 Dec 2015
I am sorry to hear this. You can apply to the courts to see your child more frequently. If you cannot afford the legal fees, you can self-litigate, I'm not sure how the law stood seven years ago, but if you have PR, your ex would have had to have your consent to move away.
Matt 13 Dec 2015
7 years ago my ex left me for another man she met on a one night stand. She moved 300 miles away within a week. I have always payed for my little boy when I was working nd in the past few years have become disabled and have been paying her what I can. I see my child once every few years and that kills me. I feel this is unfair I'd rather have my child with me and I wouldn't be asking her for money Was never my choice for her to move so far away.
Stew 28 Nov 2015
Girl takes alternative medication which negates the affect of the pill.Threatens me with the CSA in trying to manipulate me,i refused and the threat was carried out.This was 13 years ago and have been paying 150 per month since.I have never had contact with the child and not spoken to the mother for more than 10 years.Ihave now retired and my payments are 155 per month.This to a woman who works minimum hours for maximum benefits.If people want to give kids a better life make them work and not leave it to the government and unfortunate people like me to support them.This is my pension she is happy to take and I begrudge every penny.furthermore I think this is a form of discrimination against people who have a working wage or pension to be attacked.If you have no job or money you have nothing to lose.
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Nov 2015
You would have to either seek legal advice regarding this as it is a complex issue. You may also want to speak with the CSA directly.
Ste69 9 Nov 2015
Hello I originally paid up front for child maintenance in 2011. In Nov 2014 my eldest who had become a typical 17 yr old decided to come and live with me. I subsequently went to CMS and now receive a monthly payment from his mother (my ex) She has been advised to claimed against me by CMS for our youngest and they have agreed . Can I get back the money I prepaid albeit no 'cash' swapped hands just the amount taken off house value and she paid me off
Paulw 15 Oct 2015
Hi, myself and ex-partner have 2 boys, we have had an arrangement in place for about 10yrs years, i pay £500 a month mutual agreement, still she plagues me for more money for this and that, school trips....its starting to become harassing and i just don't need it, i spend a lot more than that when i have them, treating them, holidays, trips away etc....how can i stop this?????? I've paid up for years and i don't need the further harassment especially when she is married on now and the guy has a wealthy job and are more than comfortable, its ridiculous!! I need advice to have this removed from my life, thanks!
RMS 15 Oct 2015
Hi, A one night stand resulted in twins in 2001. Since then I have not been allowed contact with the twins, even with court orders in place and thousands spent on solicitors and barristers, the mother always came out of court and said "no matter what any judge says you're never getting contact"! My solicitor advised me that this could go unfair years, cost thousands more and the result would always be the same! The mother was also arrested, charged and prosecuted for excessive harassment of me without me even having to attend court! All that said I have always paid maintenance to via a private agreement. I started my own company with a friend (50/50) and the mother has always obtained copies of my Ltd company accounts and consulted with an Accountant and on occasion a solicitor. Each year we would negotiate maintenance and an increased figure was agreed and paid without fail. (every 3 years she asked for me to obtain car finance so she could have a brand new car! - she often had the increase paid in a lump sum, up front - or she took loans for different things she wanted). We currently have a FBA in place until next March. I married in 2004 and my wife (who also works and has a good income) and I recently decided to sell the house we bought back then in the hope of being able to see the twins, (This was eventually allowed when they were 11), however it never worked out, they had been subjected to too much parental alienation and were bought up so differently to our way of life that they could not settle into a routine of seeing or being involved with us, so contacted lasted for 1 year with my son and just 2 years with my daughter - the twins are now 14 and a half. Anyway, the mother was not happy to see our home up for sale and started demanding more money. She went to the CMS, who on my salaried income would vastly reduce my monthly payments and she would have to wait until any additional income were paid to me to get any further funds. At present we are still talking the CMS as I have offered for her to keep the current FBA in place! The mother is now threatening legal action covering the past 5+ years as she now claims having "looked" at the accounts (Which she has always had access to) that she has been underpaid and wants the funds retrospectively?? Is she able to do this? Will the courts entertain her case? She has never once asked what I earn, (not that i know), I assumed this was because she has had my company accounts and spoken to an accountant and worked out what I should pay herself! I've never even spoken to the CSA/CMS in detail, but have always told her she could go this route if she wanted to!... Where do I stand? My children have only ever been 3 miles away ! is this going to become an expensive legal case? She has sent me several emails the last one advising me that she is going to see her barrister in London on Friday to get the ball rolling????
SeparatedDads Editor 25 Sep 2015
While you can change the arrangement, because it is family-based, it means your ex could take this to court if she is still day-to-day caring for your son and needs financial help in order to do so. I can't speculate what the court may decide. However, if your son is still very much dependent upon his mother (especially if he has a disability which means he needs daily specialist care), then the courts may rule in her favour.
SeparatedDads Editor 25 Sep 2015
If you are paying through the CMS/CSA, then you would be able to claim a 'special expenses variation'. These cover the expenses you pay to keep in touch with your children. It can include fuel, train or bus fares and overnight accommodation, if travelling back the same day isn't practical. I hope this helps.
wells 24 Sep 2015
My ex and i have a voluntary agreement which has been in place for 10 years. My 17 year old son lives with her in the Channel Islands and he's just left school. I would now prefer to pay him directly for the period that he stays in further education. But as he is also disabled, i would want to manage those funds on his behalf - paying for things as the need arises (I have full parental responsibility and am a signatory on his bank account) - my ex is unhappy and talking about mediation, prior to applying for a court order to prevent me changing the current arrangement as she's unhappy with my proposal. i'm fully expecting fall out and quite prepared for it - but where do i stand ?? am i entitled to change the arrangement (which was never fomalised in a legal sense) without her consent?
tam 24 Sep 2015
i currently have two kids with my current partner (1 biological) and i also have to spend anything from £80-£200 everytime i see my son as he stays 300 miles away, his mother never helps by bringing him half way or even all way for one journey, and by time i count in hotels (when i stay down there) and trains i am paying £320 a month, including £120 maintenance, am i entitled to pay her less because of this? or is there any official document to ask her to help with this?
Next 22 Sep 2015
I have been having contact with my daughter ,I had to see her in contact centres ,my ex would turn up and then she would not turn up we would go back to court and the court would always favour her . So after our time in contact centres she said it is unfair on my daughter seeing me in places like that so she lets me see outside every two weeks this goes on for a year then she stops me seeing her I had no contact address only her mums I had no money for a solicitor so I would write cards and letters for my daughter and still give her presents ,until I wanted to sell the house we had brought her name was still on the deeds so I wrote to her and said will you be able to take your name off the deeds she said she would only if she had some money from the sale of the house and I said ok only if I can see my daughter again she agreed , the money went through and I was seeing my daughter again until last month she has gone back to what she was like before I go to her mums house to pick my daughter up and she is not there I have sent texts and I pay money in each month but not a reply .So now I don't know what to do or who to speak to please can you help
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Sep 2015
It really depends upon your earnings and own personal circumstances. As the house is in your name then the house belongs to you, therefore you will be liable for the mortgage. I presume the courts have ruled your ex can live in it until your children come of age? I'm afraid this is a difficult question to advise on, not knowing your own personal circumstances and whether it is viewed that you can theoretically afford to take on this amount of financial support for your children.
jake 1 Sep 2015
I currently pay the mortgage which is in my sole name, on a house that my ex partner (not married)and 3 kids live in £332 per month. I have contacted cms who say that I am due to pay £312. I am being told now that I have to pay the mortgage plus maintenance is this the case? I also pay the gas and electricity around £80 a month. On a side note it has been brought to my attention that I am being sued for £20,000 for loss of earnings to her. This has been put to the side during negotiations but have reared its head again as a velied threat if I don't agree to her proposals. Obviously she has free legal advice and I am now representing myself due to astronomical lawyer fees. Any help greatly appreciated
abbo 20 Aug 2015
I have a 3yr old who has autism. I have left my girlfriend not because of this,and pay £70 a week to her. She has 5 other children which she claims benefits for and maintenance from 2 other men( don't know how much), now she wants more money. Is this correct? Many thanks.
SeparatedDads Editor 31 Jul 2015
@Lee1711 - I think the easiest advice I can give here, is to give them a call and find out directly, as any change in circumstances may change the rate at which you are paid.
Lee1711 30 Jul 2015
My boyfriend is paying £ 312 a month For his 17 year old daughter, he is due to retire in Feb, had 1% pay rise and pension contributions gone up 4%. Ex has just sold old family home for £340.000! Will the CSA reassess or are we wasting our time contacting them?
MOSHER11 23 Jul 2015
Hi, I have a separation agreement with my wife which stated she got all proceeds of the sale of our house over £100k and I also pay £700 per month for our two girls. The maintenance amount is due to be reviewed this month and I have advised her that because my wage is now over 30k less per year I can only afford to pay her £400 per month. She says this is not enough for her and that until we agree a fee I have to keep paying the £700 per month or she will get the money from me through the courts. The girls stay with me two nights every fortnight. £400 per month would still pay her current mortgage. Can she do what she is threatening to do?
fed up 17 Jul 2015
My ex has remarried I paid her a £40000 settlement 7 years ago and I pay regular monthly maintenance payments, can I get a reduction and should the settlement be taken into account
Charlie Editor 15 Jul 2015
@Nick - it depends upon her circumstances and whether she is in receipt of benefits. If she starts getting Universal Credit, then you can stop. Child support pretty much stays in line with whether she receives child benefit or not, re; whether you pay. Also if she moves away from home, you wouldn't have to pay. It also depends how she is supporting herself financially. If she is staying on at school, then you may still have to put your hand in your pocket. I'd check with the CMS, just to make sure.
Nick 13 Jul 2015
My 16 year old daughter that I pay CSA to has just had a baby girl,do I still have to pay her mother CSA?
SeparatedDads Editor 10 Jul 2015
@Si - theoretically the payments would stop in the September after she leaves college. However, be prepared that if your ex wanted to take you to court for extra maintenance, you 'may' be asked by the courts to continue contributing to your daughter's welfare until she finishes university. Please see article : At What Age Do Child Maintenance Payments Stop? whichI hope this helps.
SeparatedDads Editor 9 Jul 2015
@Brooky - yes, your payments should change if you have another child. If your payments are paid through the Child Maintenance Service or CSA and your circumstances have changed, contact the office managing your case - they’ll advise you if and how your payments will change.
Si 8 Jul 2015
Hi - I split up from my partner 11 years ago and since then, I have been paying voluntary maintenance at CSA rates, for my daughter. I now have three children with my new wife. My daughter finishes non higher education this month (she's going to University) and turns 20 at the end of October. Do the maintenance payments finish when she leaves college or when she is turns 20? The various website say various things. This may seem 'tight' arguing over a few months when I have been paying for years but as I say, I have 3 more children, that I am responsible for. I intend to still pay her some money (directly - not through her mother) to help her through her Uni course. Thanks
Brooky 6 Jul 2015
Hi, I've split from my ex and I pay Csa to my child, however my current partner is now expecting our child, will my payment to my ex be reduced ounce our new born arrives?
Steve 1 Jul 2015
I work on zero hours contract as a security guard. I earn approx just over £1000 a month. I pay about £300 CSA including back payments due to a computer glitch previously. I also give my wife £180 per month. I pay for the food we eat. For the past three weeks I have ben off sick with diverticulitis. Spent some time in hospital before recouperating at home. Because of my sickness I will not get anywhere near my normal pay (expecting half my pay). Should the CSA take this into account and reduce my payment for the month?
SeparatedDads Editor 1 Jul 2015
@Danny17 - yes, your child support should be lowered. You can see how much you will have to pay via whichI hope this helps.
Danny17 28 Jun 2015
I currently pay £200 a month csa to my ex. Who she doses not let me see. My current partner that I have been with for 8 years and live together are due a baby in October. Once the baby is born my partner is planning to give up work, as the cost of child care will be around the same as what she would be earning. I suppose my question here is can my payments to csa be dropped right down as I will not only have a new child to care for but also my partner wil become a dependent to me too?
SeparatedDads Editor 26 Jun 2015
@stewf - I'm afraid not. Regardless of your ex's situation, you still are your child's father, therefore you still have a responsibility to support him regardless of whether you see him or not. Should you want to apply for access to see him, then that is a separate matter that may have to be dealt with through a family-based agreement, through mediation, or through the courts.
stewf 24 Jun 2015
Hi my child is 6 n pay money directly to my ex's bank 1 I have no contact with my son at all n no chance of ever doing so 2 my exhas just remarried, can I stop payments
JD 18 Jun 2015
My x partner claims DLA and I think carers allowance for our autistic son. I pay maintenance despite having them half the time. Am I entitled to any of the allowance she claims or a reduction of maintenance because of it Many thanks
NJ2015 16 Jun 2015
Hi, My ex wife has recently moved in with her boyfriend. I have just been looking on the money advice website and it states that my CSA payments to her could be reduced in this situation. Is this correct?
DJD1962 3 Jun 2015
Thank you for your reply - I pay according to the CMS guidelines but it hasn't been done through them - we have always had an agreement that I would pay the set amount they specify, so iIm not sure if I can actually deduct the costs of travel unless I go to through the official body. Thanks for your reply - I did enquire about stopping the move, but was advised that it would be highly unlike that it would be granted to me.
SeparatedDads Editor 3 Jun 2015
@DJD - Have you consented to the move? The fact that you have parental responsibility means that you can contest this through a Prohibited Steps Order, if you do not feel it is in your child's best interests. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. I have suggested this as an option which you might not have known was open to you. However, please keep in mind that it doesn't mean that if you chose to take this to court, you will be granted the order and it could damage the goodwill of your relationship with your ex, so it is not every person's method of choice. As far as child support goes, you can claim a 'special expenses variation', please see CAB whichI hope this helps.
DJD 31 May 2015
My ex partner is moving approx 200 miles away in September, taking my son with her, who is 8. We split up when he was 18months old and since then he has spent every Thurs, Fri and Sat with me, plus at least twice a month has also stayed through until Sunday evening. I have also had extra days and nights so he has been with me anything between 11 and 16 nights a month. I have always paid the 15% amount to her. Under the new arrangement, the best way for me to see him will be to meet half way and bring him back Friday evening via Train as this is quicker than the motorway, and then take him back again Sunday evening. This is going to cost around 30 pounds per visit in train fares each time, plus my maintenance will be higher as he will be with me fewer nights each month than previously. Is there anything I can do in regard of the payments to her, as my budget is already stretched without having to find upwards of another 150 per month? She earns quite a bit more than I do and will incur very little extra costs in getting him to the half way point on a Friday and Sunday.
Fedup_rippedoff 22 May 2015
Had a personal arrangement in place with ex. Pay a set monthly amount via DD into her bank account. Never missed a payment. Now she has contacted the CMS and they are demanding money even though I'm still paying my ex. 1) can this be right? 2) I have confirmation from my bank I have been paying direct 3) I have text confirmation from ex stating she has been receiving payments. Not sure what to do or where I stand, the CMS are looking to add and extra £150 pm inc fees. Any help pls?
SeparatedDads Editor 19 May 2015
@750 - she can, but it doesn't mean she will get it. You can see what you should be paying via the Child Maintenance Options calculator here which will help you see whether you fall within the guildelines. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads Editor 18 May 2015
@MaddiMoo - you can use the Child Maintenence Options calculator via whichI hope this helps.
750 15 May 2015
I am divorced and have a seperation agreement as part of the divorce, access & maintenance payments were agreed by the court at the time, I pay these every month and also pay half for holiday child care in addition. Can my ex go back to court and ask for more money even though she is living with a new partner and they have just brought a house together.
SeparatedDads Editor 15 May 2015
@Alserx - as much as you may want to ignore the CSA and your ex, I'm afraid you are going to have to take this seriously, as she may (and I know that you don't want to hear this), have a legitimate case to apply.
MaddiMoo 14 May 2015
Hi I work 16 hours per week, how much should i pay towards my two children age 15 and 13 per week ? Regards
Alserx 13 May 2015
Hi when my partner decided she didn't want the comfort and security of being married anymore and opted for the exciting life of being with a convicted rapist and serious sexual offender I signed over my half of the house which I had done about 60k of work to as part of the divorce settlement she has now decided she is going to the csa for more money can I tell her to do one She originally said she would always be friendly and would never use the kids as weapons all lies, can I tell the csa to do one also
SeparatedDads Editor 7 Apr 2015
@sprince - if you are not happy with the service of the CSA you can complain via whichThe service will try and sort this out via the Complaints Resolution Team.
sprince 3 Apr 2015
Hi, I'm looking for advice as im not getting anywhere with the csa. Partner and I adopted two children, long story, I didn't want to go through with it but for sake of partner did... However in the meantime we have split and divorced.... They had custody of the 2 children... Children have been in foster care since Boxing Day, doesn't look like they will be going back to tge ex anytime soon. However csa refuse to close down our case and insist on me paying my monthly instalments... The child benefit has stopped, how do I get them to stop my csa payments. This is 4 months in a row that I've paid but the children are not with the ex... Anyone else who has gone through this or heard of how I can try and get an answer... I would be really grateful
SeparatedDads Editor 12 Feb 2015
@Skoobydoo - Her education must be full-time (more than an average of 12 hours a week supervised study and or course-related work experience) and can include: A levels or similar - eg Pre-U, International Baccalaureate, Scottish Highers, NVQ up to level 3, home education - if started before your child turned 16. Traineeships in England Courses are not approved if paid for by an employer or ‘advanced’, eg a university degree, BTEC Higher National Certificate. If you are on good terms with your ex, you could perhaps discuss it with her whether your daughter may benefit more having it paid directly to her. However, one of the requirements of child support is the day-to-day care of your daughter, food, heating etc, so it may be while she is still living at home your ex may prefer you to support her this way. I hope this helps.
Skoobydoo 11 Feb 2015
Hello, My daughter turns 18 very soon, she is taking a course but working from home (12hrs) not college and fits this around her part time work. Does this qualify as full time education? I would like to stop her portion of maintenance being paid to my ex and pay something direct to her. Can I do this? Many thanks.
stoneroses1968 25 Jan 2015
my monthly take home pay is £1,440.00.....my rent is £500.00 per month....i am paying £281.00 per month child maintenance..(one 15 year old son)...is this amount too high?..
Annien 20 Jan 2015
Hi, my husband pays maintenance for his 10 year old son to his ex wife via a private arrangement. (things were amicable between them but aren't now) We've recently had a new baby and wondered if this was legitimate grounds to reduce the payment for his first son.
Eddie 18 Jan 2015
How can it be fair that I agree a rate (£5500) per annum with my ex and the CMS, yet not even 12 months later she can simply go back to the CMS and they immediately recalculate and increase the amount to (£8500) per annum. Does an agreement mean nothing? Why does the CMS even pretend an agreement is possible? Why doesn't government introduce a maximum cap of £200 per month per child? They don't adjust any other benefit levels just because you have higher earnings? It is irritating to say the least where you think you have reached an agreement only for one party to suddenly decide that's not good enough. I'm now looking at paying more than the NMW would be if a person worked a 5 day week 9 to 5. What's even more irritating is that I know full well the money won't all go on the children, more to run her horse and car. Hardly makes working hard pay if you're a Dad. Does anybody know of any organisation that actually lobbies Government so that the world becomes a more equal place for Dads? I would love to see my children all the time but the State is so mum-centric and only plays lip service to fathers, I end up get being marginalised and kicked off to the side, I don't get to see my daughter (16) at all anymore (CAMHS not dealing with teenage angst and imagining absent parent meant Dad so forgot to consider and include me but not mum) and I see my Son (14) three nights a week, but that's not enough to impact CMS levels apparently and Mum chucks in the emotion card when he speaks about more time with Dad. All a bit rubbish for him and me. Also how can it be right that at 16 a child can do what they like, at 18 they're an adult, yet you potentially have to wait until they're 20 before you stop paying child support, isnt it all a bit skewed! So does anyone know of any organisations that are actually fighting Dads corner?
Burt 12 Jan 2015
Cheers DaveH, :) as you can possible imagn im not in the greatest of moods with my ex and feel i am being treated unfarly however, im trying my best to remain civil (not easy lol) i have a certain situation to deal with and would appresiate any feed back... I payed my ex X amount of CSA thru a weekly standing order, untill i was asked for money to pay an upfront fee for child care and continue to pay CSA untill Chilcare tax credits were sorted out, I decided continue to pay the monthly nursery fee's (as my ex has defaulted on every bill payment ever since i have know her) instead of CSA so she could claim the Child Care Tax Credits which were equal or geater tan the CSA, thus safeguarding my childs palce at nursery. However after a month of attending nursery my child not enjoying nursery, my ex decided not to take her, and inform me that they had been to a few sessions I enquired about the attendance and have paid for 13 sessions of no attendance. I contacted the nursery and cancled our place there, I have asked for the wasted money to be returned from my ex as i belive that it is dure to her failure to communicate and greed that i have wasted Hundreds of pounds, that would be better off in a savings account anythoughts on if im being reasonable or not :) (i have sugested a payment plan £5 pcm without interest, ex said no.
DaveH Editor 9 Jan 2015
@Burt - each case is different and many depend upon on how flexible your ex is and what sort of a fight she wants to put up in court.
Burt 9 Jan 2015
i have a 20month old child with an ex who has a 9 year old, whos dad (another) payes no CSA and has visiitation practicaly every day of the week, where as i get 8 hours over 2 days per week, paying the required CSA , he is a less that reputable character and haas been to prison, i have never been arrested and have served my country for 5 1/2 years. will these factors be taken into consideration if I decided to take the ex to court over visitation? any help or advice would be much appreciated :)
Mini 21 Dec 2014
Couple of questions really 1 do i have a say in seeing my daughter and have her stay over night at my partners house as I've never had my daughter stay with us ever 2 would I be able to reduce my childcare costs and child maintence as I'm currently homeless and have no place to stay and can't afford it as going through a payment plan IVA ? Also would my ex partner or court penalise me if I couldn't make full payments as I'm struggling paying child mainternece and childcare and after school clubs as stated in the final divorce paper as agreed but now due to change of job and fuel costs to get there as scrimping bitten of the barrel and have no money left over at the end of the month. Many thanks Martin
Tom Editor 11 Dec 2014
@SPRYNKS - Yes, in theory child maintenance payments usually stop when the child reaches 16 (or 20 if they’re in full-time education not higher than A-level or equivalent). But as he has left full-time education, and he is working then the order can end. If he has been working for some time and you have still been paying, then you may be entitled to an overpayment if your ex has breached the order by accepting money after it should have stopped.
SPRNYKS 10 Dec 2014
My husband has a Consent order from court stating that he will pay x amount until his child reaches 17 or leaved F/T education. The lad is 16 and We now find out he is in work and his ex is taking £200 a month from the lad for board. technically she is not supporting him anymore although he lives with her. Can my husband stop paying the maintenance as she has gone against the Consent order of supporting the lad
Suze Editor 25 Nov 2014
@Shokked by this - it's not good that his ex is blackmailing him and he definitely shouldn't rise to her bait. But I don't think there will ever be any law passed that a new husband will be solely responsible for another man's children, unless he adopts them. It will always be the dad, because at the end of the day, he's their dad.
Shokked by this 24 Nov 2014
My partners ex wife is blackmailing him all the time regarding money and access. she is demanding a lot more than she's entitled to and using them as a weapon to get at him. she has threatened to change their names if he doesn't give her an extra £50.00. this she cannot do anyway. I would now like to know if we have managed to get the law passed once your ex partner re-marries the new husband is responsible for the children and their upkeep.
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Nov 2014
@Sj - If you are a paying parent, the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) might look at the amount of child maintenance again if you have special expenses of more than £10 a week, or £15 if your income is £200 or more. Keeping in contact with your children, for example, if the receiving parent has moved a long way away, falls into this category. I hope this helps.
Sj 16 Nov 2014
My partners ex has moved over 80 miles away with his 3 children. We now have to travel for 2hrs to pick them up, 2 hours to take them back to our house/ visit grandparents etc and repeat the process to take them back again. We did this recently and it cost £60 in petrol (not that we mind) but can this be deducted from the maintainence payments?
Jan Editor 23 Oct 2014
@Courtez - Child maintenance payments usually stop when the child reaches16 if they are working and not in full-time education. You'll need to find out what his work is because it may be that you'll still have to pay if he's doing an apprenticeship or something similar.
Lou 15 Oct 2014
My step son is 17 in two weeks, he left school in June after his exams , and in full time apprenticeship earning £6000 per year, plus has a Saturday job of £100 per month. Can anyone tell me if I can stop my ex?
Courtez 6 Oct 2014
I have no contact with my son if 16yrs old nearly 17, who I have always paid child maintenance for monthly without fail. My Ex decided to go to CSA in August wanting a payment review so now I pay through the nose! He was due to start sixth form this sept but didn't get the grades so is now working. Im not aware how many hours he works, whether it be full/part time, but my question is, do I still pay child maintenance to the ex?
BigMac 30 Sep 2014
I travel approximately 500 miles fortnightly round trip to see my 8 year old daughter. I book a hotel which I share with my daughter. Can I claim a reduction in the CSA amount for travel and overnight accommodation.
PORTAL 20 Sep 2014
My ex wife has met and engaged to new partner living together I have my child 3 days a week does my ex new relationship/circumstances effect my maintenance payment.
idi 13 Sep 2014
Iam married with 1 child her ex husband started paying child support after 3 yrs a wk ago Wife worried about ex taking son,can anyone advice me what's appropriate thanks
yoho Editor 10 Sep 2014
@twiggs, no the CSA base their calculations on your net income not what bills you have to pay.
Twigs 10 Sep 2014
Does my csa payment go down if I get a new mortgage going from £400 to £720?
nige 1 Sep 2014
Hi me and wife separated 9 years ago we had a child each as one of my sons wished to remain in my care she never work so never paid csa or saw the child that lived with me and my partner, I have always had contact with my son at weekends and paid csa my son has now left school and is due to start college at 16 hours a week will my payments remain the same amount each month. Thank you nigel
Albi 27 Aug 2014
Help please - Both me and my partner have just inherited some money from his mother who has passed and so have bought another house to renovate. I am in full time employment and my partner is going to work for himself on the house. He is currently claiming JSA as he has no income at the moment from our business - I earn 40k a year and have a 2 year old daughter to my partner and I am currently running the house with the bills etc. My partner has a 17 year old daughter with his ex wife who is constantly on our back for money, she is still at school. We share a house with a joint mortgage and that's it really. We have no savings. Is his ex wife entitled to any of my money / wage? His divorce is settled by the way How much does he have to pay her out of his JSA If the house sells before she is 18 then do we have to pay a % of that to her? If it sells after she is 18 does that change? Thanks
danny 13 Aug 2014
looking for advice...hi there it eems that i have been over paying the csa for a period of 12 years, they have not aclculated my allowance for two step kids staying with me for the 12 year period and also my own daughter for 8 of those 12, they are now deducting £50 from my wage every week and refusing to aknowledge the over payments, please advise.
lilo Editor 31 Jul 2014
@brydo, yes your payments should decrease as you now have more children to care for. You need to ring the CSA and have them take a look at your case.
Brydo 31 Jul 2014
I currently pay 33 pounds a week have done since birth and now have a family and two additional kids with my new partner will this effect how much my previous partner receives each week
SeparatedDads Editor 25 Jul 2014
@tamja, yes of course you still have to pay child maintenance when your child goes on holiday for a week.
tamja 25 Jul 2014
A quick question on holidays. Now some may call me bitter or vindictive, but due to the presence situation or rather the current fight for equal rights for my daughter I'd like to know if I am legally required to pay child maintenance for my child if they have gone on holiday for a week outside of the UK?
paulo Editor 24 Jul 2014
@faraway, you can contact the CSA and explain your situation as there is a reduction they can apply in certain circumstances. It's not a huge amount but every little helps!
faraway 24 Jul 2014
Reading this has really made me want to know if I can reduce my payments to actually see my daughter. I live in the Midlands, and my daughter lives up north. me and the mum have always had a difficult relationship. I pay her the 15% a month directly to her, but given the distance and cost of transports to see her, I actually struggle to afford to see her every week. This has resulting in her not allowing me to see her given it wasn't as regular as she the mum, but she knew the situation regarding the money and me wanting to use it to actually commute to see the little one. She now just takes the money and I'm not seeing my daughter. Is their an actual argument that can be used in terms of reducing the monthly payments to her in order to use the money to travel up to see my daughter? Any advice given would be muchly appreciated
caf 19 Jul 2014
My husband has paid £815.00 for a holiday for his daughter, is ex has stopped her going with us and.it is too late to get any money back, can we claim any back from his.ex
Mr Lou-sing Battle 15 Jul 2014
I have been separated from my ex for several years and have had minimal contact with my daughter since birth, this is due to the mother being an exceptionally caring person (note the sarcasm) I have spent money on solicitors and tried mediation which have both ended with her going back to not allowing any access for me to my daughter. Although it would come across as blunt or heartless to some I have chosen to rule a line under it as there is no bond or attachment due to this scenario, the question I ask is where/what do I need to do or to go to relinquish any ties to my daughter who clearly I have no hope of building a relationship with?! If the mother is happy to keep me out of our daughters life and carry on by herself what responsibility do I have with no involvement except her happily accepting my money? All seems a tad one sided and short of a better or more polite word "bullsh#t"
Sweet find 11 Jul 2014
I split from 12 year relationship with my daughters father! I have given him 5 years to start paying child support. I wanted him to get on his feet & have a life. Just last year he had a stroke & says he can't pay. Were do I stand on this? I'm not sure what to do, but I'm tired of the whole burden. Should he pay something? I'm am stuck & confused for my daughters rights. Please help me someone.
chasychew 15 Jun 2014
Everyone speaks about full time education and maintenance being payable until the date this ends but what is the date when a student is 18? Is it the end of the academic year, the date of the last exam or the end of August
SeparatedDads 2 Jun 2014
The age that payments stop is the end of the school year that the child turns 20, as long as they are in full time education no higher than A levels. As for reducing the payments you could contact the CSA (if that's how you pay) and ask them to recalculate the payments for you.
steff 2 Jun 2014
my step daughter who is nearly 19 lives with her mother and in full time education and working part time gets child support from her dad (my husband) we have a 11 year old son together. we are in hardship because of paying the child support and our son goes without while his half sister brags about all the nice things she has. i want to know if there is anthing that my husband can do to reduce the payments. also we have heard the age has been moved to 21.
Dean1108 27 May 2014
I Separated from my partner some 13 years ago. She had a son from a previous relationship Age 6 at our separation, and our daughter who was 2.5 years old. I am looking to re-establish contact with my daughter but don't know where to start. Can you help?
god 23 May 2014
im currently paying child support and im wondering if i move in with my new partner would her income also be included in my payments?
rich 23 Apr 2014
Hi my son is 16 in 2 months and leaves school. My ex is sending him to college to do joinary. I think she is only doing it to keep getting maintenance from me. My son has ADHD and doesn't go to school as it is because he is unteachable, he lies in bed till dinner everyday so will never be able to stick college or even want to go. I've told him to get a job but I no everything she claims for him will stop so that's why she is doing it. Could you please tell me were I stand because I'm married and got another family now and this maintenance is putting a massive strain on my finances at home .I've never missed a payment in 12 years and don't want my ex to keep getting my cash for her own financial gain... Please help !
nini 19 Feb 2014
my son has two children by his gf and she has older child by another man. she is taking older sons dad back to modify his child support. she heard that now that she has two more children, even tho they are by my son that the first man has to pay more support now to help support he two younger children by another man..plus my son is wanting part custody of his two kids.he has them all week and she has them 1 maybe 2 days on weekend. what re his chances for full custody.
ewan 4 Nov 2013
Hi, I am currently separated from my ex and re married now, we live in private rental in the highlands, I take my son on Sunday Monday and Wednesday. I pay out 70 pounds a month to my ex and pay for after school activates such as cubs and Shinty(hockey no rules). I for school meals on days I have so that would Monday Tuesday Thursday. My question is she is saying I must pay for my after school care on the days I have my son as they are my days so my responsibility. She receives the credits to pay for after school care and says I don’t pay enough towards her. I buy clothes for him and school stuff for him just as much as she does. Am I in the wrong here or am I not paying enough ? should she be paying for child care etc? I am just looking for advise on all of this please.
blue 30 Sep 2013
can i reduce my child maintainence if my hours of worjk are cut
Tom 15 Aug 2013
My daughter is 16 and has a disability. I pay £425 a month maintenance to my ex. Next month my daughter is going to attend a residential college to do her a levels. All costs are paid for by the local authority and so for 42 out of 52 weeks a year my ex will have no costs for her at all Do I still have to pay my ex the same level of maintenance? I asked the CSA and they could not give me a clear answer. Many thanks!
george 4 Jun 2013
can I claim for purchases made to my son as payments towards my maintenance if I keep the receipts?
caz 30 Apr 2013
My son has to pay £100 per week to his ex partner who is not working. He wants access to his children but she refuses. She only wants the money. He has a new partner with a child on the way. He wanted to get a place with his new partner but can no longer afford it and has to live at home now. He was paying £60 per week voluntary to his ex. Can he claim this back from her? She has not declared this to the benefits office. What can he do?
JAYSADON 20 Apr 2013
HI CAN MY SON HAVE HIS C.S.A REDUSED IF HIS XSPENCIES AS INCRESSED AS HE NOW HAS RENT TO PAY AND ALL OTHER BILLS THAT COME WITH A HOME BECAUSE BEFOR HE WAS LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS DIVORCEING HIM AND HE PAYS 20% OF HIS WAGE TO THE CHILDRENTHOUGH C.S.A.
Millwallxangel 28 Mar 2013
On behalf of my partner I would like to know if his payments for his 13 year old are affected by his rise in outgoings. His monthly expenses have increased leaving him with not as much as before. Does this affect the amount he has to pay?
Handsfree4 5 Mar 2013
The legislation may be different in Scotland. I have two daughters. Oldest one is currently 19, soon be twenty. She recently took a college course and now wants to undertake a University couse, which lasts two or three years. The younger one is aged 16 years and doesn't know what she will do. I had a Stroke some seven years ago and felt that I had no option but to keep on working, I am now aged 48!!!My Payments have been made to my exwife on time for over 13 years but now I would seek clarification, as I friend pointed it out. I must keep the payments up, whilst my my daughter is the 18 years old and cannot make a living for herself. How do things stand???
tc 14 Feb 2013
Hi I am asking this question on behalf of my brother his partner has left and taken there 3 year old son to live with another man the child is autistic and gets very unsettled.also his ex partner has depression she can swing from mood to mood hour by hour and can spend days in bed I have heard about a law that if a parent has depression then the child should be cared for full time by the other parent? could you give me any advice on this?there is going to be a mediation next week as his ex is refusing to let him see his son and she is sending him abusive messages he has been advised to ignore her until the mediation any advice would be helpful thanks Tracey
Ct 11 Jan 2013
Hi I had my parental rights involuntary removed through a divorce 5 years ago, I used to see the kids occasionally but they never really wanted to come it was always an upsetting time for all involved, the kids have over a year ago said they so not want to come anymore I have been told that I can apply to stop child support payments due to the fact the kids don't want to see me, is this true Kind regards
L 4 Jan 2013
Just looking for some advice from anyone who is or has been in a similar situation. My husband has a daughter from a previous marriage. He pays monthly through the CSA however in addition to this he also has to pay substantial travel expenses every month to see her. In addition to this, the condition of his daughters school uniform and clothes is appalling..ill fitting, worn out, often damaged and normally second hand. As a result of this we regularly have to spend additional money to ensure she is adequately dressed for school and also when she is not at school. My husbands ex wife does not work however goes on at least 2 foreign holidays per year His daughter has said to us on several occasions that her mother has told her "daddies money is for holidays!" and it is blatantly obvious to anyone with eyes that she is not using my husbands CSA payments for her child, preferring to keep the money for luxuries whilst her daughter wears older family members worn out clothes. My husband contacted the CSA to ask his position on this and he offered to provide photographic evidence of clothing, bank statements & receipts of all items bought and he was told "tough, if the mother doesn't want to spend it on your kid that's up to her, we don't take anything to do with this!" Is this right? Surely my husbands financial obligation is to contribte towards the food, clothing and housing of his child and not the upkeep of her mother whilst his daughter is dressed like a tramp. To clarify he was not asking to pay less money in general, he was enquiring about 2 things 1. Can his ex wife be required to show proof of her spending in relation to the CSA money which should be for his daughter and 2. As he was regularly paying money for clothes, shoes etc could his payments be reduced on a monthly basis and deduct the clothing allowance and he would continue to buy clothes, shoes etc for her as and when she needed them as at this stage he is effectively paying twice the amount. To add to this I am now pregnant with our first child. Does my husband have to wait until our baby is born before he can ask for a re-assessment as obviously new babies cost money therefore we will have to buy furniture, prams, clothes etc prior to the baby being born or can he ask for a re-assessment now provided I can provide proof of pregnancy and due dates etc? And finally when this is re-assessed is the cost split evenly between the 2 children or is it favoured towards one child ie resident child, oldest child, specific needs of children? I am advised that the financial/employment circumstances of the mother are not taken into account so if my husband has a financiall obligation to 2 children who makes the decision and how is the decision made with regards to how much a child gets? Surely it should be an even split as if not that is like the CSA or authorities saying one child is more important than the other and that one child will have to make do with less than his/
wasp 9 Dec 2012
How much does it cost to take ex wife back to court as she is in breech of contact order.And where do I stand as it cost me over 8.000 pound in legal costs over the last year and a half.She has now told me I cant see the kids but hasnt given a reason why. Many thanks
Bill 27 Nov 2012
I have four children, one child to one ex partner and 3 to another ex partnerI pay csa payments to the one childAnd a voluntary arrangement to the other 3I have the one child zero days per yearAnd the other three 118 days per year.Do the csa have to take into account when calculating maintenence that I pay for the other3 children and have them 118 days per year ?Many thanks. Bill
karen 23 Nov 2012
My husband has been paying maintenance via Court Order and this ends next month. Son is going to University in March (they live in New Zealand) and intends to do a degree, Masters and Doctorate meaning 6 years of further study. Ex wife has consulted her UK solicitor who we think has told her to negotiate an amount that my husband will pay to support her son through degree and this is around a third of what the maintenance would have been from March. She is trying to make my husband think she's doing him a favour by reducing his payments but has told him he's actually legally responsible to pay the full amount if she wanted him to for the full 6 years - is this correct as we were under the impression that if he had to pay at all through Uni it would only be to first degree? She also regularly uses the threat of taking him to Court if he doesn't do as she asks so we are worried that she'll want to up the payments at some point in the future and threaten him with Court if he doesn't comply.
LJ flash 21 Nov 2012
Hi. I have been paying CSA for 8 years now, my son turns 19 in March and is at university, and my daughter is 16 and at college. When do I stop paying for my son? As my new wife's daughter turned 19 and was at college I lost my discount for her, will it be the same for my son? As I have just been re-evaluated by the CSA in the last few weeks.Many thanks
bisto 30 Sep 2012
I wonder if you can advise me. Im currently paying £300 per month maintenance to my ex , We did our own agreement 4 years ago ,To be honest I wasnt thinking straight when I done it and signed the dreaded dotted line. It has increased as agreed on a yearly basis but my problem is I'm self employed and always have been. Business used to be good but during this current climate im not as busy as I was which reflects on my income. I have one person working with me and am currently overdrawn by quite alot of money , this is happening more frequently. What I would like to know is if I decided to go through the csa based on my last account my payments would be reduced to £35 pound weekly can this be done legally or could /would she have any grounds to fight it? My daughter leaves school next September and is going to uni.
lewie 21 Sep 2012
my son is 17yrs and is in collage and at the moment is thinking of going to uni next September i pay csa for him and my daughter, but when he goes to uni do i still have to pay csa for him?
pishy 14 Sep 2012
My boyfriend and his ex partner separated about 6 months ago. They were never married. His ex resides in his property to which he continues to pay the mortgage. She refuses to pay towards the mortgage, or move out. Is he entitled to pay less child maintenance? The amount he is paying now means she is able to live rent free and has a higher disposable income.
edd 13 Sep 2012
my daughter has left high school and is doing a beauty course at the local tech she also works part time do i still have to pay csa im still on the old system
Sally Editor 3 Sep 2012
@dazyhazy.... your brother does have rights as a father, however, they mean nothing in real terms.... to fight to see his child will cost him thousands of pounds in solicitor and court fees (unless he is entitled to legal aid).... Father have absolutely no say in anything relating to their kids.... if they disagree with the mother in any way she can/will make things difficult for the father.... mothers (not all mothers, just the nasty ones) can do what they want and use the system/children to hurt the father.... I can understand your brothers concern but he needs to stand up to her so i'd suggest he calculates what he should be paying her (using the CSA calculator) as I am sure he should not be paying her £40 per week if he is only earning £138 per week... he should also go to citizens advice to see if they can help in any way.... I really wish your brother all the luck in the world, we are into our 3rd year of hell with the mother of my partners two kids.... she uses the kids to emotionally black him and we have tried everything to stop it.... but she always finds a way round it.... even ignoring court orders and she gets away with it :-/
dazyhazyxx 31 Aug 2012
hi i was wondering if anyone could help me out my brother who is 22 yrs old and works as an apprentice painter earns £138 a week and pays £40 maintenance every friday for his 2yr old boy who lives with his mother she only allows access on a sunday & thursday & he is not allowed to keep the wean overnight. i have told my brother this is unexceptable & he should be entitled to have his wee boy at least 1 overnight to stay at my mums house where he lives now. But my wee brother is afraid of her coz shes clearly warned him that she will stop all access to his child if he even questions her, therefore i know my brother has rights the same as her and cant & will not stop access. i need any advice helpful or not coz im ready to start something but have no back up to prove this..
Jerry Editor 20 Jul 2012
@H. Why don't you approach the CSA with the details? You will need to provide evidence that your daughter has been with you all this time though.
H 18 Jul 2012
My daughters mother went away for 2 weeks holiday. 5 weeks later she is not back and my daughter and I are going on holiday for 2 weeks. This will be 7 weeks that she has not seen her mum. I pay £400 a month, I have not stopped money but it seems unfair as she is living with me? Could I hold back some of the £400?
Bess 16 Jul 2012
My partner pays £250 to his ex for his two children who stay every other weekend, we have a 6month old together and really struggle money wise at the end of each month, his ex is now re married and has a new child, does this mean that my partner is entitle to pay less to his ex?
STEVO 4 Jul 2012
should i be paying maintenance if i am already paying a mortgage payment to the house my child is living in?
Mr Curious 1 Jul 2012
I have a 6 yr old son who lives with my ex wife. we split in 2007 when she had an affair, I pay 15% of my salary via the CSA, I have supported my son and stand up to my responsibilities. My ex wife is still with the guy she had an affair with and is planning to marry. How would this effect the child support payments
Phil 4 Jun 2012
I have a British Consent Order with my X. This states I pay her a fixed amount until he atains 17 or Completes Full Time Education. My X and I Live in Germany (I am 4 hours away). My Son (17 last Jan) will take a Year off where he has accom. provided. My Wife does not work and just bought a farm in the countryside, probably to enhance here inability to pay. She Insists I should pay for him and his Univ. Fees untuil he has Finished..my position is that the Consent Order is Valid and I will only pay him direct support (and she should also) from Sept.. I could have stopped last Jan. Problem.. she always, as it costs her nothing, goes to the German Courts as she gets free legal advise and no penalty for false allegations.. The Courts pressure me.. but when I ask them to put in writing that the British Consent Order she signed in Britain, is invalid, they back off..never the less, I have costs and stress. Other than that we get on fine ! Is there something in Writing that I can refer to to substaiate my positin, without having to pay mones on Internal Law Solicitors.. We can Talk.. but she never alters per position.. the Father or someone else must pay.. she never can or will and she know how to manipulate every body, inc. the courts, who back of any suggestion that the Mother has responsibilities. and lying.. even with evidence.. we cant mention
Mr G 25 May 2012
Some advice would be much appreciated... My ex spit up with me six months ago and we currently share parental responsibility of our two year old daughter. My daughter lives with the ex, but stays with me 2-3 night & days (almost half) a week. I pay a privately agreed maintenance amount monthly to cover the costs of the norm; nappies, food, new clothing, new toy's etc. The ex (who works part time) receives help from the government; housing benefit, council tax benefit, and child tax credits. I don't receive any financial aid but have my daughter for almost the same amount of time. - A little unfair, but something i can accept as the time with my daughter is more important to me. I don't earn a great deal, £25k a year, on a month by month basis i can just afford all my essential out goings with about £200-300 as disposable after paying my Child Maintenance and all normal living costs, i have little to no social life (as i cant afford it), having to be very careful with my spending; typically any spare money get's used on car repairs and other unforeseeable circumstances each month - It would be nice to save what i can for Christmas/Birthdays etc, as i struggle to afford even the smallest of gifts for my child at that time of the year! Currently my daughter is attending a nursery so my ex can continue to working, the cost of this is covered almost in full by the Child Care Element of child tax credits, which the ex receives weekly. (a portion of her rent is paid for by housing benefits, she has to pay no council tax; leaving her income from work & the child maintenance i provide to cover food/utilities/mobile phone costs, which is not approx £900 which she should have before her personal outgoings - I did her expenses and had it all on a spreadsheet for the year's we were together). The problem i need you're advice with is as follows: my ex is soon to be married and now intends to move in with her new partner. When she moves all her financial aid with stop, as her house hold income with increase dramatically. (as it's all based on house hold, not personal). The nursery fee's will still be paid by tax credits in part, but only about 10% of the monthly fees. Because of this she is now demanding that i pay her half the nursery fee's in addition to my child maintenance. Which is impossible for me financially! she's place the daughter in full time (because it's discounted and cheaper than three days she needs to go at an hourly rate) at £886 a month. I feel responsible for paying this only in the sense that it's in part my daughters education, however i cannot psychically afford too, on the flip-side this only benefits my ex, and her new partner - It's beacuse of their new house hold income that this has become a problem, her desire to work part time is also partly to blame. What should i do? I don't want to pay out more so the ex can continue to work as her career and personal life is not my business anymor
aggrieved dad 21 May 2012
My wife decided she did not love me and went off with another man I moved out and she has my two sons aged 12 and 7. I suffered depression, anxiety and lost my well paid job through a mini breakdown.i managed to get a job 25 miles away from my ex and had to move i pay maintenance on a family arrangement and she used to bring the kids over and I would take them home. 6 months ago that stopped. we are divorced and I have my children most weekends, (i have had six weekends off in the last 18 months) and am constantly overdrawn. I work all week and have the boys ar weekends She works 16 hours per week, gets tax credits and maintenace and isoff to turkey for a holiday in july, whereas I struggle topay the bills and have food in the flat. Each weekend I do a 100 mile round trip and she pays nothing I cant get capital fromthe equity inthe house as she wont agree to give less than 30% of the equity because she cant afford it Feel I am over a barrell and cant do anything I loved and adored my wife and cannot believe she has turned into the nasty person she now is. what can I do?
MrB 9 May 2012
Have 2 boys age 6 and 10 with my ex wife, who both live with her. I see the 6 year old 3 to 4 times a week, but as yet he hasnt slept over at our (myself and partners) new house. I pay maintenance, over what the csa calculates, who use a "how many nights does the child/children sleep over" which obviously comes into the calculating. Why is this used as a calculation? Apart from my 6 year old actually sleeping at our house, he does everything else, so I cant quite under stand why actually going to sleep at mine for more than 52 times a year should make a difference?My 10 year old son no longer wishes to see or have any communication with me, which will be a lot to do with the ex wife which for want of a term is poisoning his mind.One last thing, my ex wife is financially stable, just bought a new house and has parents who are in a position to help her financially in all aspects.I pay mainntenance as I said, above the csa calculations, and I am constantly in my overdraft as I have taken on a new mortgage etc. Should I consider applying to the CSA to deduct payments at source, at a lower level than what im paying now., which in turn any money saved would be directly spent on my boys, by myself.All a bit of a muddled post., will spend time later composing something that makes more sense.Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 18 Apr 2012
@Dave, If you are paying through the CSA (which I guess you are) you need to contact them and ask them to recalculate taking into consideration the change in circumstances.
Dave 17 Apr 2012
I have a daughter that is 7 yrs old, her mother is getting married this year. I am getting married as well this year and me and my current partner are expected a baby. I currently pay £260 a month maintenance. Would i be entittled to a reduction in this maintenance as we are both getting married and im expecting a baby?
john 13 Apr 2012
I was paying for my kids to my ex on a Court Order. The kids are now at College and the eldest goes to University in Autumn 2012. Just had a summons as she wants to extend the Court Order to cover the entire time of their further education!! Not even had a chance to discuss finance for University with any of my children and she has done this!! What are the facts of paying into further education please?
dodger 8 Apr 2012
Im a seperated father and have my daughter stay over every other weekend for one night and have her all day the next day. I always take my daughter out to and do somthing on a saturday whether it be the zoo or fair etc, this incurs petrol costs and also entrance costs, can I claim those costs back from the mother in the form of the csa payments?
chelseaboy72 17 Mar 2012
i have been paying the csa for two years now for my two kids my ex wife got married two years ago .is it true that cause she has now remarried i still have to make full payments or do i put money into an account for the children but not as much as i was paying
cal 10 Feb 2012
My daughter is 16 and i want to know were i stand on payments.She earns 10 a week in babysitting.
stardust 26 Jan 2012
My ex husband has taken me to court to gain access to our child. We had to go through CAFFCAS who wrote a report and put forward the rules that we had to abide by. The ex husband had regular access before and then stop access for 2 years because he would stop the CSA, Now this has been reinstated, he now continues to tell me that I need to drop to CSA, this is done via letter which he gave to our son to pass to me, then through the communication book, that our son reads, then by text, to which I ignore, and then, when he dropped our son off at the meeting place, he verbally brow bashs me infront of our son again to stop the CSA. He has even talked to our son about it, even though we were both told our son is to be left completely out of it, the ex husband still continues. We are in court tommorrow morning to finalise access so do I just continue to take the verbal grief for the sake of access or what?? It's a joke, I try to do the best and still I get a verbal bashing. As I was told maintenance payments and access are two seperate issues and can not be used against the other. My ex pays Maintenance to the CSA when he feels like it and in 6 years has probably paid 3 years of that, that rest he just drags to the appeals court and it get's lost the the CSA system...
IanP 25 Jan 2012
My wife left me 06 Oct 11 and took our (then)2 month old son. All she ever wanted was a baby and now she has him I was surplus to requirements. She wouldnt let me see my son and was constantly asking for money. I finally saw my son last Thursday (19 Jan) and it had gone ok. But then she changed her mind and said "you have seen him now why cant you just leave us alone". And I am in the Army with a tour of Afghan later in the year. She said I should use the time away to forget about him and it would be better if I never came back". I simply cannot afford a solicitor. I have been left with the marriage debt - £20,000 which I pay £530 a month. On top of that CSA are taking £700 out next month, so for March I will have no money ! From March she will get £318 per month which I find a bit steep. How can I get access to my son regularly without a solicitor ? Can I get my CSA payments lowered in anyway ?I am grateful for any help you can offer.
jonny29 27 Dec 2011
HELP!! I lost my job back in April of this year due to being made redundant, but have continued to pay 'child maintenance' via the private agreement I had since we split my ex wife. I have two children for whom I am paying a total of £300 a month. My new job does not pay as much, and I am strugling to contine to pay the £300, because of this I have used the CSA calculator to check what I should be paying, the figure it returned was considerably less to what I have been paying. How do I approach my ex wife about the reduction? (we have not had the most mutual split!!) or is it now the time to involve the CSA properly, any advice would be much appreciated.
steveo 8 Dec 2011
Hi I am paying around £700 per month towards CSA which I dont mind paying.I have remarried and looking to start a new family with my wife. My question is does the payments change if im married and if we have more children does that change it also? Thanks
dave 12 Nov 2011
Hi, I am on CS1 rules and have been for 13 year. i have 1 daughter age 13. I am currently off sick and may soon be on half pay- what will happen with my payments will they reduce? I also maybe redundant shortly- can my ex claim any of my redundancy pay? Thanks
chippie 6 Nov 2011
My son who lives with his mother was 17 in June 2011, he left school in September 2010 and I was paying CSA up until then (happily).He now goes to college two and half days a week doing a photography course and has a part time job at Asda.His mother has applied to CSA again, but the court order states: "maintainance shall be paid via CSA until he leaves FULL TIME education"Do I have to pay ?Many Thanks.
southern guy 30 Oct 2011
Hi there, I work full time and my child 18 is in the second year at college. My child does the bare minumum of 10 hours a week at college and does two part time jobs and now pays emergancy tax. So my questions is, should I still be paying the CSA,when they havent informed them my child is working? Great site by the way
Jacob 12 Sep 2011
My ex and I got divorced 2 years ago. After the decree absolute, we did not have any formal child custody / visitation agreements. Now my ex is not allowing me to see or talk to my son over the phone. CSA is deducting 700 from my pay monthly. Now I hear rumors that my ex is seeing someone and wants to get married. What are my options? Can I apply for child custody on the basis that she re-marrying? what are my chances? your input is much appreciated.
SLRD 30 Aug 2011
My ex girlfriend and I have been living in london for the last 10 years. We have 2 children (aged 9 and 6). We separated this summer and she left with my daughters in France. I agreed with that but we can't agree with the amount of charge support. Can the cost for the traveling to France be taken in consideration regarding the amount I have to pay ? Thank you
sable 22 Aug 2011
My partner has 3 children who he's been paying child maintenance for, since he split with their mother 12 years ago. They are now, 20, 17 & 16. The 20 year old is working (ocassionally!) - so he no longer supports him. However, the 17 year old is at college studying English & drama & the 16 year old has just left school & is 'possibly' going to college depending if he can get in. He will just be doing Business studies as he has no idea on what he wants to do. Their father & mother agreed the maintenance themselves so has not gone through the CSA. Is he still entitled to pay for the 2 at college until theyre 18 or 19, or is that only if theyre taking A levels. Its all so confusing! OR - if he still needs to pay - should the payments be reduced as they're now both able to get saturday jobs? Any advise would be greatly appreciated!
mat 2 Aug 2011
Hi, I am just separating from my girlfriend. We have one child. According to the csa calculator I should pay around £34 a week less an allowance for probably 2 nights a week. And I am basically happy (wrong word) with that.However I am paying off a debt of around £9,000 and although in my name it is really a "shared debt". And feel that my girlfriend should be at least 50% responsible. My first assumption is that she will not be interested in helping. But if I pay £20 per week off my debt will I be allowed to offset some of this against what I pay her. I want to be fair and support my son but need guidance as to what is a fair balance. She will be better off than me financially and continue to live in "our house" owned by her parents and not pay rent so it is not that she will be struggling exactly. Regards Mat
Neil 13 Jul 2011
Hi. I have been paying £800 a month since year 2000 and have never been moved onto the new calculations. Now my ex wants more. I had a child with my new wife in 2005 but never reduced payments. My questions are - have I been over paying and do I have 'credit' built up or can claim back to use for any increase my ex may come after me for?Neil
SeparatedDads 29 Jun 2011
As your circumstances have changed you may be entitled to a reduction in your child support payments. Contact the CSA as soon as possible informing them of the change in your income.
HDD 28 Jun 2011
I recently lost my job. I have informed the CSA. I have since got a new job that is better paid but with less benefits, i.e. no company car. I also have to travel and stay in london for the job. I actually have less money left over with the new job compared to the old one, so I cannot possibly afford the £150 a week the CSA want. What do I do?
Davexh 24 May 2011
I looked into recouping travel costs from maintainence payments through CSA. I was told there is no litrature on the subject, as it is a "such a rarity" it was exlpained to me, but is very dificult to work out, and not at all generous. Really not worth the effort involved for me to claim for one week stay and 500 miles of traveling.
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