If you and your ex partner can't manage to agree where your children will live or how often they see each of you, the court can make what is called a child arrangements order and these orders replaced the old residence orders and contact orders back in April 2014. The thinking was that calling one parent "the resident parent" and the other "the contact parent" created a hierarchy that was not helpful. A child arrangements order simply sets out the practicalities without putting a label on either you or your ex.
In practice, many parents are surprised by how the court approaches these cases. The court is not interested in what feels “fair” between the parents, but in what arrangement best supports the child’s welfare, stability and routine. This often means that outcomes can differ significantly from what either parent expects at the outset. It is quite common for both parties to feel they have had to compromise.
From our experience, the biggest issue is not the legal framework itself, but communication between parents breaking down long before any application is made. By the time matters reach court, positions can become entrenched, which makes resolution more difficult and increases both time and cost.
Try Everything Else First
Courts expect you to have made a genuine effort to sort things out before involving them. In almost all cases you will need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting or MAIM before you can even submit the application. There are exceptions for domestic abuse, child protection concerns, or genuine urgency, but for the majority of cases, the court wants to see that you tried, in a meaningful way, to reach an agreement.
Mediation genuinely is worth trying as it's faster, far cheaper, and agreements that both parents reached tend to last longer than court orders. It is not about giving in but is really about having a proper conversation with someone neutral to keep things on track.
The Application
If mediation does not work you apply using form C100 where the court fee is £232 (in 2026), with possible remission if you are on a low income. You set out what you are asking for and why, and a copy goes to your ex.
Then, both of you then get called to a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment, the FHDRA which you should not let the name intimidate you. It is a short hearing, usually about an hour, and the judge will actively try to help you reach an agreement on the day. A Cafcass officer will normally have spoken to both parents beforehand and will give the court a brief summary.
If you still cannot agree, the court orders a more detailed Cafcass report (a section 7 report) and lists the case for a further hearing. At that point it starts to feel like proper court proceedings, with statements, evidence, and potentially a final hearing where the judge decides.
What the Court Looks At
The court always puts the child first. It uses the welfare checklist from the Children Act 1989: the child's physical and emotional needs, the likely effect of any change, the child's age and background, any risk of harm, and how capable each parent is.
There is still a legal presumption that having both parents involved is in the child's best interests, provided it is safe. The government has talked about reviewing this, but as of early 2026 it remains the law. In practice, what this means is that a court will not cut a parent out of a child's life unless there is a really good reason to do so.
The Bias Question
A lot of fathers believe the system is stacked against them and, statistically, children do end up living primarily with their mother more often. But that does not necessarily mean the courts are biased, it reflects the fact that in many families the mother was the primary carer before separation. What matters in your case is what you can demonstrate that you are involved, that you are capable, that you have a home your children can stay in, and that the arrangements you are proposing are genuinely in their best interests, not just what you want.
One point that is often overlooked is that a Child Arrangements Order is only as effective as the willingness of both parents to follow it. While the court can enforce orders, the process of returning to court for enforcement can be time-consuming and stressful for everyone involved, particularly the child. For that reason, courts tend to favour arrangements that are realistic and workable in everyday life, rather than overly rigid schedules.
It is also worth remembering that arrangements may need to evolve as children grow older. What works for a young child may not be suitable for a teenager with school, social and extracurricular commitments. A degree of flexibility, where possible, is often viewed positively by the court. If your ex breaches the order, you can then go back to court for enforcement. The court can impose unpaid work, fines, or in extreme cases switch the living arrangements. An order is not a suggestion but is a court order, and the court takes it very seriously when it's not followed.
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