Ensuring Your Children Are Cared for if You Die

Ensuring Your Children Are Cared for if You Die

The Children Act 1989 defines parental responsibility as all the "rights, duties, powers and responsibility which a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his or her property". It includes, matters such as:

  • Poviding the child with a home
  • Protecting and maintaining the child
  • Being responsible for the child's discipline
  • Dealing with the education of the child
  • Influencing the child's religion
  • Being responsible for the child's health and welfare
  • Looking after the child's finances and property

However, all of these aspects reflect what happens whilst you are alive and are able to care for the child for whom you are responsible. Unpleasant as it may seem, have you stopped to wonder what would happen to your child if you were no longer able to care for and look after them - either because you were too ill or infirm to do so or in the event of your death?

Having a Valid and Current Will

One of the most important steps you can take is making a Will in which you can make provision for any children for whom you are responsible.

If you die without making a Will then you are said to have died intestate and the law will make certain assumptions as to how your estate is to be dealt with. Those assumptions may not accord with your wishes. Under the rules of intestacy there is an order of priority for those who will benefit. This depends upon whether or not you are married, whether you have children and whether your parents or other relatives are still living. In addition, the amount which each person receives will be determined by how much your estate is worth.

If, therefore, you are married or in a civil partnership but want to leave the bulk of your estate to your children you will find that under the laws of intestacy your wishes will be thwarted. The law provides that your spouse/civil partner will receive your personal items (e.g. household items, jewellery etc.), the first £250,000 of your estate and a life interest in half of the remainder of the estate. Your children, on the other hand, will only get half of the remainder of the estate outright (when they reach 18 or marrying before that) and the other half of the remainder after the death of your spouse/civil partner.

If your main asset is the matrimonial home and you do not have much in the way of non-jointly owned property, then your children may not inherit anything. The chances are that if you and your spouse/civil partner are separated, then this will not be what you would want to happen.

Similar problems can occur if you have step children. Even if you are married to the parent of a child, or in a registered civil partnership, unless you have formally adopted them your step children will not benefit under the intestacy. Instead, either your estate will be divided between your spouse/civil partner and any of your own children or, if you have no children of your own, then personal items, the first £450,000 and half of any excess over £450,000 will go to your spouse/civil partner outright but the remainder of will go either to your parents or siblings.

Remarriage

A further complication can arise if you have remarried. Unless you make a will expressly in contemplation of marriage then, as soon as you remarry any Will in force at that date will cease to have effect and, unless you remake the Will, you will be deemed to have died intestate. This means that any children by a former marriage may, depending upon the size of your estate, fail to benefit at all.

This will particularly be the case if your main asset is the matrimonial home and that is owned jointly with your new spouse/partner because the value will not form part of your estate and it is only any other non-joint property that will be taken into account when calculating who gets what upon the intestacy. Making or changing a Will need not be difficult or expensive. Using Your-Will.com from Richard Nelson LLP you can make an online Will for as little as £85 (including VAT) and what is more, you can complete it from the comfort of your own home. They will check through the questions you have provided and will can either be posted or downloaded for you to sign.

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Appointing a guardian

Another benefit of making a Will is that you can use it to appoint guardians of your children in the event that anything should happen to you before they reach the age of 18. Whilst there is no need for a married couple to appoint each other to be the guardians of their own children, they already have that responsibility, you might want to appoint a guardian if:

  • You are a single parent
  • You are cohabiting and the children are not the children of your partner
  • You want to make provision for the situation should you and your spouse/partner both die

Bear in mind that if you don't appoint a guardian and your children are left without a parent before they reach the age of 18, then the courts will appoint guardians. However, they will not necessarily be the people whom you would have chosen and there may be a period, pending the appointment, when your children have to be taken into care. By making an appointment in your Will you can take steps to help ensure that the people whom you choose and, possibly just as importantly whom your children would choose, are appointed as guardians.

The role of a guardian is to be responsible for your children in the event that they are orphaned before reaching the age of 18 and to attend to their day to day care, welfare, upbringing and education.

The guardian can also be appointed to act as the trustee for your children and to be responsible for their finances until they reach the age of 18. For example, you may have been able to leave your children a substantial sum under your Will to pay for their upbringing and education which will be held on trust for them until they reach the age of 18. If you do make a guardian a trustee also, then it would be wise to appoint another, independent trustee, for example a solicitor, to prevent problems from arising if there is a disagreement between the child and the guardian as to what the child needs and also to guard against fraud or misappropriation of the funds.

Do bear in mind, however, that if you do not currently have parental responsibility for a child (for example you live with or are married to, or in a civil partnership with, the child's parent but have not adopted or taken on parental responsibility) you cannot appoint a person to be a guardian and, if you wish to continue to be responsible for the child, then you will need to be appointed as the child's guardian in your partner's Will.

Enduring power of attorney

Problems may also arise for your children in the event that you are no longer able to make decisions yourself. This may arise as the result of an illness or from an accident. The best way to make provision is to make what is called a lasting power of attorney which enables you to appoint another person or persons (an attorney) to make decisions on your behalf in the event that you are no longer able to do so because, for example, you have lost the mental capacity to do so.

If you do not have a Lasting Power of Attorney, then the only other way in which your financial affairs can be looked after is if someone close to you applies to the Court of Protection ? a process which can take a significant amount of time and which could potentially costs many hundreds of pounds to pursue. The delays alone could seriously damage how you are looked after and how your financial affairs are managed and you may even find that your affairs are being dealt with by a court official.

It is for these reasons that it is necessary to take steps to ensure that, in the event that this occurs there is someone whom you trust who can take over and manage your finances, wellbeing and other issues on your behalf. A Lasting Power of Attorney is the means by which that can be achieved and allows you to plan in advance:

  • What decisions you want making should you lose capacity to make them yourself
  • By whom and how those decisions are to be made

Provided that they are aged 18 or over and not a bankrupt at the time the form is signed, you can choose almost anyone to act as your attorney.

If you wish, you can appoint more than one person to act at the same time or you can appoint replacement attorneys who will act only if the first appointment does not happen. You can even choose whether multiple attorneys should act together or together and independently and can even specify that they must act together for some decisions but independently for others.

As with our online Will service, you can make a lasting power of attorney online at our Your-will.com web site. This is a straightforward process and can be done from home. Once you have completed the appropriate questionnaire we will check through the documentation and either post the document to you for you to sign or you can download it through the system, print it off yourself and then sign it.

About the Author

This was a guest blog written by Duncan Finlyson, a partner at the specialist will solicitors, Your-Will.com, which is part of Richard Nelson LLP. Using their online software you simply answer a series of questions and leave the rest to them.

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Ask a Question or Comment
FMacG 6 Jun 2021
I registered my son's birth (his natural father) with the mother and am on the birth certificate. She has the him more than me but I have him roughly 75% of the time. She's making a will appointing guardians - does this have any validity? In the (unwanted) event of her death I would be solely responsible for his well being, surely? Or can her family legally be appointed to over rule his parent?
Redfairy 28 Nov 2020
Hi there my partner split from his ex partner 3 yrs plus years ago they have a 9yr old daughter, who I love to bits. Unfortunately the “mum” is using anything she possibly can to stop my partner seeing his little girl which we are in the middle of court for however her allegations are disgusting beyond belief. Anyway I digress from my actual question, my partner is concerned that if anything should happen to him ( dies early) would I have any legal rights to his daughter as he worries that only having her mother and partner to go to she would suffer emotionally and mentally if she didn’t have me around. I’ve told him he isn’t going to die anytime soon but it’s a worry for him all the same. Any advice would be welcome
Gary 27 Nov 2020
My son was born in 2004 and I am on the birth certificate so have parental responsibilities. I split from his mum just before his second birthday and have had him every weekend since plus several holidays a year. His mum had another child to a different partner since however they are not together either. My son is approaching his 16th birthday and unfortunately his mum has fallen ill with cancer which is terminal. Where do I stand legally wise in getting custardy of him when she sadly dies. I have heard she wants the kids to stay together so not sure if she has tried somehow to make that happen. Can she make different arrangements for his future without me knowing and if so what can I do about it when found out
Coco 25 Nov 2020
I have a 3 year old child. I’m the only parent on his birth certificate. His father’s name isn’t on it so the child has my surname. I will marry to my partner in a few months and I want to know if I will change my surname, my child will take the surname I will have too?
2children 29 Oct 2020
I have 2 children by different dads they both see there dads on weekends they live together with me and have a close bond. If I die I know both dad's would want there children. How would I make an agreement to keep the kids together and not be split up?
Jasmine 6 Aug 2020
my daughter passed away ild iand leaves a 12 year old child iam I next of kin for her there's no body else or would she be taken into care
KD 21 Apr 2020
Single mum of 1 the child’s dad has her 6hrs on a Sunday. If I was to die how do I legally get my parents (maternal grandparents) to have full guardianship
Lucy 7 Apr 2020
Hi. I am divorced from my husband. In the divorce I stayed in our home but my ex has to remain on the mortgage even though he does not contribute to it. It also states in the divorce that I can remove his name from the deeds and change them to my sole name. I have yet to do this. What I'm concerned about is if I died whilst my children are still of school age that my ex will upheave them and move two hours away to where his girlfriend lives that they do not know. My son is autistic and can not handle change. The house will be left to my children. Is there any way I can be sure that my ex does not pull my children away from their current lives, school, friends etc and completely upheave their lives. My son could not deal with this change and he is way closer to me than his dad so he would be suffering enough as it is. I just cant bear the thought of them being torn from everything they know to somewhere they know no one and not even his partner! Obviously I would be happy for him to move into what would be the childrens home to take care of them. Please could someone tell me if I can do anything to ensure my wishes are followed
Boymom1 29 Mar 2020
Hello, I have a very complicated situation. I am considering divorce after discovering adultery from my current husband. We have one child together. He was born in the U.K. but has double nationality since I am American. We have share custody of our child, however if anything happens to me I would want to name my mother as my sons legal guardian. She lives in United States. How can I do this? Please help.
Gabs 22 Mar 2020
Good morning I am wanted to create a will so if I die my child will stay with my husband who is not is biological dad, his biological dad has no contact with my son and is a danger to him. How do i go about doing this?
Mandy 14 Nov 2019
Hi my sister has a son with her ex ( they was never married ) my nephew stays with his mum but he stays with his dad mist weekend now my sister has take her son and 2 girls from previous relationship to local train station for her ex to pick his son up as he doenst go to the house to pick him up before that my sister had give her eldest 20 a week to take her little brother to his dads for the weekend but now my niece stays with my sister's ex ( she moved in to be near her college placement but since then she had her own baby few days ago )
Sim 19 Oct 2019
My best friend passed away leaving her 25 yr old 14yr old and 3 grandchildren the14yr old doesn’t want to stay in family home or with her dad she wants to live with her aunt will that be possible even though there isn’t a spare room the aunt is prepared to make her living room into a bedroom
SeparatedDads Editor 13 Mar 2018
As your ex also has parental responsibility, she is entirely within her rights to appoint who she feels she wishes to look after your child. There is no pre-requisite that your daughter has to come directly to you. She is making decisions regarding what she thinks is in the best interests of your child. Your only option is to discuss this rationally with your ex (if you can), and/or offer help and support.
Karl 12 Mar 2018
My ex is in hospital and I have joint parental responsibility my ex is refusing to allow my daughter to stay here I have her stay every other 2 weeks and I don't know who she is staying with whilst my ex is in hospital I am both concerned and do not think it is good if her mother is in hospital surely it should be me who looks after our daughter. There is no court orders in place never been to court about our daughter always been amicable until now
SeparatedDads Editor 22 Sep 2017
As specified, your mother would have to write this in to her will. It is highly unlikely, the courts would remove your sibling from your care if there was such a provision in your mother's will. I can't really give you any more information, except to say if your father challenged the will, then he would have to take the matter to court. The court would always decide what it deems best for your siblings and consistency, stability and the least amount of disruption is considered most important, meaning it would be unlikely to move your sibling from the home to live with a parent they never see.
Lisa 21 Sep 2017
I am one of five siblings, my eldest sister is 4 years older than I am and has moved out with her boyfriend. My other sister is a year younger than I am and I am 20 and my two younger brothers are under the age of 18. I would really like to know what would happen if my mother in the unlikely event were to die before my brother are aged 18. My father is physically and mentally abusive and we haven't seen him for a couple of years and he does not pay any maintenance. We currently live in rented accommodation where my sister and I contribute. My mother is on benifits also. What my main concern is would my father have custody over them? Would my sisters and I be able to care for them if we were able to afford to? Would my mother have to write in a will or something to say that we coudl possibly provide the care? This is something I will talk to my mother about but would like a little more information
Bubbles 29 Aug 2017
I have a child with my ex partner..his live in g/f I have all the problems with. We do not get along as she has no children of her own and trys to act like my sons mother infront of me. As a result I do not want to be in contact with her..I dont mind what they do as a family hols etc but as we dont get along I dont want her to attend anything I attend with my child. She has started to attend my boys comp that he has once a mth resulting in a huge row..saying she will come to every event..I am extremly mad..do I have any rights?
winto 15 Mar 2017
split up with my sons mother 4 years ago. always had access but 12 months ago me and my ex tried being together again. didnt work out. but since we split up. she has denied all acess for over 6 months. not even a phone call. can i do anything . thanks
Pippin 6 Jan 2017
Hi, I am married & am living with advanced cancer. Our home is purely in my husband's name, however I obviously at the moment have family rights to the house as I'm married. I've put a lot into the home myself financially, however I'm worried that should anything happen to me & he remarries that half of my contribution would go to his new spouse & not our daughter. Is there anything I can do to make sure my daughter is entitled to something or is looked after/protected financially should I pass on?
tessy 3 Dec 2016
My ex-husband passed away when our children were 14 and 15. I had primary and physical custody but my B and I still had a good friendship. He had a home, car , large settlement in which he signed most over to his parents so he didnt spend it foolishly. I dont disagree with that. It was before we met and didnt feel I should be involved but I have no clue if there was a will and my children got nothing. His brother got house, guns (many) car. There is also a riverhouse that B had his name on with other siblings. How do I find out if my children should get anything
Tzortzina 28 Nov 2016
Hi there I was wondering if anyone knows if the passport details of your child/ former husband are needed and will remain valid( as the passport expires) when you make a will. The child lives in another EUcountry with his father for the moment. Or are the names sufficient to make a proper will? thank you
mitch 25 Nov 2016
i have a question just like to know where i stand im with a partner who i live with and who has brought my children up for the last 2 years if anything happens to me could my partner maybe husband by that time take care of my children if my ex husband has parental responsibility i have a daughter too who is not my husbands and do not want them seperated and my daughters dad is deceased
Jax 19 Nov 2016
If I have 2kids 2 dad's n I due can I do anything to keep them together?
Bookworm 4 Sep 2016
I've children with my fiancé, however should anything happen to me before we marry, what would happen to my children. Would they automatically continue to live with him, he has PR.I don't have a WILL as yet. Could i name him to keep our children in a WILL and also could appoint a guardian, should anything happen to us both. Thank you.
Loui 18 Jun 2016
Hi my brothers partner passed away in May thay was still together but didn't live together and thay have 3 children the oldest is 20 the youngest is 3 yrs old and the girl is 12 thay have my brothers second name but is name is not in the birth creticate but it is on the older one don't know why it wasn't on the 2 youngest ones but how does he go about it now he is looking after them and as moved bk in the house to look after the kids but he wants is name in the birth creticates
Moggie 27 May 2016
Hi my brother died leaving a fortune I would like to know if my birth father who left my mother when we where baby's he has never had parental responsibility he has never put a drop of food in our mouths he has had no involvement at all for over 45 years he left my mother to bring us up on her own ,he left my mother and married another woman and brought her children up and yes he left her as well he filed for intestate and took all my brothers estate my question is should he be able to claim through intestate if he has never had parental responsibility.
Tim Editor 6 May 2016
@Butchery -If it was agreed between your brother's former partner and his ex then there is no breach. Unless the non-biological mother adopted the child then she isn't under a legal obligation. Plus now he is 16, he can make his own preference on who he chooses to live with.
Butchery 5 May 2016
My brother past away twenty months ago he has a son from a previous relationship which his partner died. He was in a relationship and made a will saying that his partner would be guardian of his son if he died she now has given up on his son and he is known living with my sister Has she broken her word I.e. As broken a contract his son is only sixteen
11 23 Apr 2016
Me and my ex girlfriend have a son aged 5. I have been in his life regularly and also on his birth certificate. She recently passed away. Now her parents are saying my son is to stay with them. What happens now?
Capricious ex 8 Feb 2016
My ex partner and mother of my two lovely boys have been separated for 5 years .. For the first 3 years things were good, seeing the boys regularly and phoning almost every day. She then entered a new relationship and things actually turned out better for me initially as I then started having them from Thursday to the following Tuesday most weeks, for a period of around a year ( flushes of a new relationship etc ) she even lied regarding having to work and for me to have the children bank holidays, though this transpired she was out at BBQs ! Though again I was more than happy to see them. Then it all changed .. She moved house and schools without telling me and then stopped answering calls and moved into a house with no gardens and fed the children a diet of gamestation TV and takeaways. She has served a non molestation order on me.. Complete fabrication and something I can prove through phone records, witness and character references. And also a child protection order to withhold the boys from me .. Again on fabricated lies. Absolutely incredulous that whilst I've done nothing wrong the outcome is that I do not get to see my children. To top it off her new partner has threatened me with violence twice ( each logged with the constabulary and actioned) Caffcas has been in touch . done the interview and whilst she asked me if I have representation ( I haven't ) I did reply that my defence was to tell the truth and prove that my ex partner and her new chap are the ones with a tenuous grip on the facts. And if there is justice in this land then right and truth will prevail... What a sad world we live in to see a 'Mum' ( no true 'Mum' would use their children as a pawn to enact some vengeful vexatious rhetoric whereby the victim is often the children in all this, shameful behaviour ) As an adult I understand what she is doing, but what she is doing to my children I will never forgive her or call her a positive attribute to myboys welfare. Sad.
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Jan 2016
I am very sorry to hear this. You do not say whether you have PR or not. If your daughter was born before 1st December 2003, and you were not married to the mother at the time of your daughter's birth, you will not automatically have parental responsibility, even if your appears on the birth certificate. Paternal parental responsibility can be acquired by making a parental responsibility agreement with the mother, obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court, obtaining a residence order from the court; or becoming the child’s guardian on the mother’s death. You could also arrange this through mediation and this would be then verified by the courts. The matter can also be dealt with in your ex's will. If your ex agrees to appoint you as a guardian then her last will and testament should reflect this. She must include in as much detail as she can, the reasons why she wishes you to take on the role of caring for your children. It is important to ensure that she clarifies your reasons for making this choice so that there can be no confusion over her mental and emotional state at the time of making her will. I hope this helps.
RT 27 Jan 2016
I am the biological father to two girls aged 17 and 14,I am separated from their mother,and have been for several years. I have maintained contact with my daughters, they have spent every weekend with me since our separation, We have an amicable relationship, their mother and myself. the girl were both born before 2003. Now, the question I have is as follows, Their mother has just been diagnosed with cancer, of the lung,liver and hip and is about to start radiotherapy. I would like to know two things, How do I/we go about making me legal guardian for the the younger child. On or before her death. We were never married, but did live together as common-law partners.
SeparatedDads Editor 12 Jan 2016
As specified in the article, you would need to make a Will and use it to appoint a guardian of your child in the event that anything should happen to you before they reach the age of 18. The court will take your wishes seriously. However, I'm sure your childbirth will be fine and that you will be in the good hands of the UK doctors and nurses.
munchkin 11 Jan 2016
I dont want to sound spiteful, but the father of my child doesnt seem too interested in the child. Has done nothing but upset me and stress me to the point its damaging the health of the baby, which he knows. My question is if i die in childbirth (theres been complications) will he get the baby? I want to leave the baby if it survives and i dont to my mother, but i dont want her to be caught in any legal battles. I understand he has rights to see his child, but he knows nothing about children and is a very irresponsible person. He has no intention of financially supporting it. He will throw the odd bit here and there but thats it. Hes done nothing but make things worse and im so worried he could end up taking my baby away and not looking after it. Then again keep in mind i have no proof he wont look after it, hes manipulative and tells a good story. I want to make a will now that the docs are worried ill go into early labour.but is there any point if hes going to be the big man and take my baby? Keep in mind my mum has reared seven kids and has been with me throughout this pregnancy and he lives with his parents and contributes nothing and still ends up woth no money at the end of the month. Hes so obviously not full time dad material but i may not be around to proove that. Grateful for any and all advice !
Kels 16 Dec 2015
Hello there, I have a quick question regarding appointing a guardian after a divorce. My ex-husband asked my sister to be the guardian of my 8 year old (but he hasn't even consulted me before asking!) in case he/we both die? Is he legally allowed to appoint a guardian without my consent? Does parental responsibility not automatically fall to me if he dies? Even though we are divorced? I don't mind his brother being guardian in case we both die but I just want to clear the above point first, thanks.
SeparatedDads Editor 11 Dec 2015
You would have to make this provision of guardianship in your Will, as discussed in the article. He could also apply for Parental Responsibility of your children, I hope this helps.
Jen 10 Dec 2015
If i die, what steps do i have to take to ensure my children are to be raised by my fiance? He is the only one i trust to take care of them. If we are married by then, will they automatically be in his care? None of my children are his and im worried that my ex husband which is very abusive and has never been in their life will try to take them. What do i need to do now while im still alive?
SeparatedDads Editor 2 Dec 2015
I am sorry to hear this. It depends whether your mother left a Will and whether she left you a provision in the Will. If you don't want to approach your step-father, are there any other relatives you could speak to who may know? As specified in the article problems can arise if your mother remarried and did 'not' make a Will, as it would means that you as a child by a former marriage may, depending upon the size of her estate, fail to benefit at all.
Ging 1 Dec 2015
My mother passed away last year but she wasn't married to my birth father she got married again which is my step dad who i live with now, my mother left a substantial amount of money which my step dad has spent, i just wanted to no if i was entitled to some of it
Slouise123 7 Nov 2015
Hi my daughter is only one but even though I live with her dad but we are not together he's never really around and doesn't know much about her but my mum sees her all the time and babysits and they have such a great bond. I would want my mum to be her guardian if anything happened to me as my mum is most like me out of anyone. Should I make a will? Need advice please.
SeparatedDads Editor 28 Oct 2015
Yes, as specified in the article, another benefit of making a Will is that you can use it to appoint guardians of your children in the event that anything should happen to you before they reach the age of 18. Unless it was contested, then the Will and guardianship would stand. Even if it was contested, the liklihood would be that the court would adhere to your requests, if it could be proved it was in your child's best interests.
Single mum 27 Oct 2015
I am a single parent to 2 children with 2 different Fathers. My son is 17 and soon to be 18 . My daughter is 11 and her Father has joint parental responsibility as although we were never married my daughter was born after 2003. He has never helped financially and has sporadic contact. My concern is that I do not want my daughter to be placed in her Fathers care in the unfortunate event of my premature death. My question is therefore, can I appoint an alternate legal guardian for my daughter in a Will? And would this be agreed to should I die? Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 22 Oct 2015
It is very difficult to estimate because as we know, anything can happen to a business, especially after death; the other children may change their mind about being a part of the business, the business can change beyond recognition, or even go into administration, therefore it is hard to seek the concrete assurances you need. I can only suggest you discuss your concerns with your partner and a solicitor/financial adviser regarding how to best to safeguard your children for the future should certain eventualities take place.
Freud 21 Oct 2015
My partner has adult children. He has recently entered in to a 50%x50% business with one of them. He is adamant that his will dictates that should anything happen to him, our children will inherit his 50% and the business partner (his adult child) will run the business for the benefit of our children,(until our children are 18/can enter in to the business themselves). My concern is that a will cannot instruct the on-going running of a business, merely it calculates your assets at the time of your death and distributes them.. With very young children, I'm seeking assurance that they will be secure no matter what...
bravster5 29 Aug 2015
I have a long term girlfriend of 20 years ,she has a grown daughter who i never see,and i have two grown up children ,,Which would be the fairest way to divide my estate if i were to die before my girlfriend,and who would get left the estate once my girlfriend died
bravster5 29 Aug 2015
Which would be the fairest way to divide an estate, if i died before my long term girlfriend of 20 years,She has a grown up daughter ,and i have two grown up children who i love dearly , bearing in mind that my partners daughter still sees her own father,I don't want my own children to be short changed ,
JohnH Editor 27 Aug 2015
@Worried Dads - If a beneficiary is unsure of an executor’s actions, they can request an account of the administration of the estate. However, only people within certain categories of relationship to the person who died are entitled to challenge the effect of the will. It's a difficult one, I'd seek some legal advice.
Worried dad 26 Aug 2015
Hello I need advice. My daughter who is 14 lived with her mum. The mum sadly died last week. She left a will saying that the grandmother should be her guardian etc and that the property is left to my daughter. How do I make sure this happens as I do not trust them with regards to money. I know nothing about probate or anything like that and don't know where to turn. I need to make sure my daughters best interests are followed. We all get on fine but I know things will change Please anyone advise Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 14 Aug 2015
This is a tricky question to answer as it has all sorts of implications you should be told about. You may be able to put a proviso in your will to ensure this doesn't occur. However, please keep in mind that if you gift your property to your son, you will legal owner, meaning you will no longer have control and your son will be able to manage the property how he wants which includes selling it without your permission. If her marries, or if he is married and they split, then his wife will be allowed a share of the property. Plus, as the property is classed as a gift with reservation, it can still be used to pay for care fees should for any reason you need to live in a care home. Therefore, I suggest you seek some further legal advice to make sure you are doing the right thing.
carol 13 Aug 2015
If I leave a house to my son now how do I stop my ex( Not married) from getting the house if my son dies? Will it come back to me?
SeparatedDads Editor 27 Jul 2015
@tonio - if you have parental responsibility then yes, you have rights to access to your children. However, much depends on what has happened in the past and whether there has been any restrictions on your access to them and your involvement in their lives. It also depends on whether your ex made a provision in her will for her mother to become a named guardian in the event of her death. Therefore it makes it difficult to answer your question and you will have to go through the court process for them to decide.
tonio 24 Jul 2015
My ex wife passed away on July 11th and I am having trouble picking my kids up from her mother who up until today has not filed for any type of temporary custody, she lied to me the first day I went to get them by saying CPS is not letting me see them and running out of her house yelling,no you can't talk to you dad and making her oldest son take off with them, yesterday I went again to try and see them but was refused and my kids were not even allowed to see me at all,I called the authorities to assist but the just locked the door and didn't answer,today I get back from getting my custody papers looked over and stamped before filing tomorrow and a lawyer calls me saying the grandmother has filed for temporary custody and the court date is on the 28th,I have my rights to get my kids don't i?
Amy 30 Jun 2015
Hey my daughter is a donor baby but me and my ex partner of 4 years who I've been separated from for a year isn't on the birth certificate as we wasn't married so I'm the only on on her birth certificate her other mum still has contact and if anything was to happen to me I'd like to know my daughter would go to her has anyone any contact information and prices please?? Thank you
Tone 30 Jun 2015
As a claimant in an Order for sale of a property, case I am asked to attend a court hearing with a draft in paper form setting out the orders I require. Does this mean I should list each order: Order for the sale of our property, An order for court costs and can I make an order for rent from the defendant because he has changed the locks and denied me access to my home for over a year?
SarahH Editor 30 Mar 2015
@concerned father - you would be unless your ex had made a proviso in her will or expressed written wishes to appoint a legal guardian.
concerned father. 27 Mar 2015
After divorce if my then ex wife was to die. would i still be legal guardian and children live with me. Even if she is living with someone or remarries?
Fran 30 Jul 2014
my daughter wants to change her name to mine she is 7 but had no contact with her father for 4 yrs this being his choice.Idont know where he lives so i cant get permission he does however pay£1.25 a week csa . Can anybody advise me of what to do .
woried parent 23 Jul 2014
i am not married to my sons father but he is on the bc,in the event of my death, does he automatically get him or can i appoint someone as his father is a drug addict and alcoholic and would not be a good roll model
CONCERNED DAD 11 Jun 2014
I went through a pretty ugly divorce where my son was manipulated and turned AND used against me. Regardless of how his feelings toward me have been influenced, he is still my son and I love him AND want him very much. I was told yesterday by my Ex-wife, that if something happened to her, that my son would go to her brother and NOT me. Can she do this?? I feel that as his father, I would get him and finish raising him in the event that something happened. I would definitley want that!
Melanie Sargent 22 May 2013
My 16 year old daughter has had a baby and the father is already demanding unsupervised access which is distressing my daughter as the baby is only 3 weeks old. He's threatening her with solicitors if she doesn't comply. She's just not ready to be parted from her son. Where do we stand?
Tom 23 Feb 2013
Hi, I wonder if there is anyone who has experienced what I have been through. My ex and I parted 8 years ago, when our daughter was 5, out of spite she moved 300 miles away. I have been commuting for 4 years but have decided now to move to live near our daughter. I have been in a new stable relationship for 12 months but have only just introduced our daughter to her. My ex has said she does not want our daughter to be involved with my new partner and also that if I move to be near her she will move back to where she lived before. I have a contact order which also has an harrasment order attached to it. I see our daughter twice a month and have every half term with her and 2 weeks during summer which I was given through the court. I will do anything necessary to stop the move as our daughter is nw established at school and has many friends.
Karlos 13 Jan 2013
Can I put my house in children's name so they benifits From it and not pay maintance
Hlubi 23 Oct 2012
I was living with my partner for 10 years we have 2 kids 22.months and a 4 year old he suddenly passed away we had a bond house and its on his name we were never married so what are my rights since I'm not working and what are my childrens rights
Entrapped Father 27 May 2012
I am paying C.S.A. for a kid that should not have been born because the Mother lied to me stating she was "on the pill" and would never claim C.S.A. The Mother and Step-father are benefiting from my money from a kid that should not have been born. I'm entrapped into obligations I did not want. My windows have been smashed, threats made to me via close relatives and from the Step-Father, harassment and other threats from their side of the family. The C.S.A. don't give a damn about the men who are entrapped into becoming Fathers when they didn't want to and everyone would openly say "put a condom on it" Why should men take all the responsibility of such actions of LYING WOMEN. Even my personal mail is being stolen from my own home, IT APPEARS THAT EVEN MY OWN MAIL IS NOT SAFE FROM THIEVES. Where does it state in any part of the Child Support Act that the Father must tolerate death threats, long term harassment, windows smashed, and other forms of HATE CRIME IF HE DOES NOT WISH TO SPEAK TO THE LYING MOTHER AND THE STEP-FATHER. My Daughter and I did want a proper Father / Daughter relationship but her Mother was too busy copying and pasting my messages on FACEBOOK as one of my relatives made threats to kill me on and off FACEBOOK. So now, I've dropped contact with the lot of them and trying to move on in life. Still noting my mail is being stolen so that others may know of my personal business. I don't want anything to do with my daughter, her family and any member of my close family. As far as I am concerned, like are like my Sister who passed away on the 15 December 2011 DEAD ! I haven't had time to grief her loss due to the stress they have put me through. Why would I want to bother with any of them in any event. So for every week I pay C.S.A., I won't bother speaking to any of them. This is an ongoing event.
Lupus 19 Mar 2012
Has anybody got any real experience or stories dealing with online wills? I'm convinced of the need for something like this but don't have the experience to know whether I'm getting a good deal or not.
Murloch 12 Mar 2012
This is fantastic advice; I had never really felt that I had enough of an estate or possessions to contemplate making a will but having to think about not only my own future but the care of my children certainly forced my hand. It seems like it should be common sense that your kids end up where you would like them to, but as this article discusses, that isn't always the case.

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