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It's concerning that the mother's claims about struggles and crying don't match your experience. Courts typically favour arrangements that allow meaningful relationships with both parents, and your proposal provides regular, consistent contact. Given the disagreement between you both, documenting everything carefully is wise.
Consider getting a family law solicitor's view on your proposal before the final hearing. They can advise whether your suggested schedule aligns with what courts typically order for toddlers and help present your case effectively. Stay focused on what's best for your son, which you're clearly doing.
I have attached my proposal for a final order on arrangements regarding my 16 month old son below. Is this suitable and reasonable for him?
1. Week 1
(i) Wednesday from 3pm overnight to Thursday 8.30am return to Mother or childcare/nursery/school.
(ii) Friday from 3pm to Sunday 5pm collect from Mother or childcare/nursery/school and return to Mother.
2. Week 2
(i) Wednesday from 3pm overnight to Thursday 8.30am return to Mother or childcare/nursery/school.
(ii) Every other Friday 3pm – 7pm collect from Mother or childcare/nursery/school and return to Mother.
Every other Saturday 10am – 4pm collect from the Mother.
I currently see him every Wednesday 4hrs
Every other Friday 4 hrs, Saturday 5pm - Sunday 5pm
Every other Friday 3pm - Saturday 5pm
So, we are close to finalising the order. Only the mother and I are in disagreement about our views on arrangements. My proposal has a long term view as I think it is best not to have to return to court, if I agreed with the mother's current proposal to keep arrangements as is I feel down the line I would have to go back to court to change arrangements. I simply do not want to return to court.
Since April 23 I have had slowly but progressively built up consistent time with my 16 month old so. From early January (6 nights so far) the mother agreed that he could stay once weekly overnight rotating Fridays and Saturdays. This has been really great for the heart. There has been absolutely no issues, he is more than happy and routine is absolutely spot on every week. I don't see any signs of separation anxiety either which is great.
In the mother's position she states that our son is 'struggling' with over nights, he is 'unstable' when returning from an overnight and he cries regularly at handovers. I have proof that he does not cry at handovers and I believe the other points are untrue. An attempt to build her argument that he should not stay full weekends 'yet'. The mother had not once notified me about any of the above after handovers or the following days. The position was set through legal representative. The mother also worries that he may be overwhelmed by spending 48hours away from her at one time, I do consider this could be possible but we won't know until we try and it is upto us to manage this.
Of course I want more time and to be involved as much as possible the care of my son (I also work over 40 hours per week). More importantly, i want what is best for my son. I'm writing this post because I want honest opinions on my proposal from fellow fathers that may have experienced something similar or even if you haven't. Is the proposal suitable for a 16month old boy? Will it have a positive or negative impact on him? Would a judge consider it if the decision had to be made by them? Hope to get some feedback and hopefully this post can help some of you other fellas on here. Ch
Now I’m wanting to know what information I need for court ??
Thank you
I am looking to interview separated fathers about their lockdown experience
Hi, I am a final year Social Sciences student at UCL studying the lockdown experiences of separated fathers as part of my dissertation. This research aims to explore the effects of the COVID-19 lockdown measures on fathers who have been separated and living apart from their children. Separated fathers come in all shapes and sizes. Many are non-resident, living either part-time or full-time in a different home to their children, whereas others have more flexible arrangements which may have been impacted by lockdown and social distancing measures.
This study focuses on fathers who were separated and living apart from their children before the first UK lockdown (March 23rd) so as to compare your experiences from before and during lockdown. Participants should be living in the UK and have at least one child aged 16 or under who does not permanently reside with them.
I am looking to speak to separated fathers specifically as most family research in the Social Science discipline focuses on mothers and I wish to fill this gap in knowledge, especially in relation to separated father wellbeing. Due to this its super important to expand the global understanding of fatherhood in all its forms and hear your experiences and opinions, specifically in the context of the unprecedented COVID-19 pandemic.
The study will involve a one hour interview using phone or zoom depending on your preference. The interview can be arranged for whatever time suits you best over the next few weeks. All your data will be kept confidential and anonymous throughout the study in accordance with UCL Data Protection Policy. If you would be interested in participating or would like more information about the study please email me at: stnvhmh@ucl.ac.uk.
If you fit this description and would be willing to participate or know someone who does please let me know.
I looking forward to hearing from you!
Hannah Hasler
I see my kids on a Saturday for a few hours with a friend present as I There are a few awkward circumstances Where I don’t want to be around the mother on my own.
Now that I can’t have anyone there I’m unsure
1- if I can still go round to see my kids.
2- I’d rather be able to take them out.
3- she’s stating she doesn’t want me taking them to mine (no reason given) it’s in her house or not at all..... I don’t know what I’m to do as I’m not sure if I’m allowed to go in her house and personally I don’t want to on my own.
unfortunetly due to the order i had to issue my own proceedings for refular access to my kids with was being obstructed and often changed
how ever on the day of our court hearing my lovely ex wife who resembled noone i knew for 10 yrs went to the police station stating i had breached the injunction by.........phone contact which wasnt the breach to my 4 yr old daughter but infact when she asked me "daddy when can i see you next " my reply i dont know sweet heart its upto your mum
after we ended the call in tears the allegation was my 4 year old daughter
missing her dad and suffering from a very difficult divorce asked her mum when can i see daddy
but this was 3 months prior to the court hearing for specified child access .
to my amazement the police attended and informed me i was under arrest for a breach of the injunction
another wasted court hearing and money as again the system was manipulated again
i didnt get charged and no offences were found to have been committed .
however what it started was my ex wifes belief she could maniuplate the system , she was supported by the legal aid system and that my postion was that of a rock and a hard place.
ill skip forward 12 years....
she has constantly tried to restrict access refuse access on father day every year .2 hours on xmas day and a day before for their birthday
needless to say the kids have gobe through so much its been horrendous watching us loose more and more contact whilst she attempted and to a certain extent acheived parental alienation
there was no reason why their mum who did very financially well from the divorce and after that time would had resolved the bitterness and the only goal should have been to do everything we could ensuring our kids happiness.
last year i discovered every time i bought my daughter and son clothes etc she would make it clear to them she wasn't happy
resulting in a sudden stop of contact
i had to find 2500 pound to go to court to get access .this took 5 months to which i had 1000s of mesaages all loving and showed the best relationship which i was told i couldnt use in court
my daughter at 14 was now saying she only wanted contact in a letter which had to be delivered at the request of their mum by the post man
disgusted let down and we were failed as it was too hard to do by asking indepth question as to why suddenly from a excellent relationship which would have been a complaint by the mum
do you think i got a reply from the letters .
nothing in 12 months whereupon my daughters birthday card was delivered late by a friend not a postman
this was reported as harrasment by my kids mum regarding the civil order previously granted (to be posted by a post man) as the school couldnt give my daughter the card and money inside
i delivered it to school as their mum had not given them the xmas presents i had dropped off the xmas before
i was warned for harrassment despit
i divorced my kids mum 12 yrs ago whilst married for 10 yrs she was a good mother and partner however after 10 yrs i wanted a divorce
we discussed it and whilst my wife didnt choose this path her upset soon turned to bitterness
i left the family home just taking 3 suitcases .the heart ache leaving your kids making that decision still hurts today .
i continued to pay the morgage and bills and told the solicitor to sign the house over to my wife as i couldnt bare the kids loosing the house .
despite his best efforts to talk me out of my request i told the solicitor it was what i wanted .
at his suprise she refused stating she wanted martial maintance along with csa payments my pension and the house .
since meeting and the 10 marriage she didnt work and i fully accept her job was a full time mother which she loved and the money wasnt a issue but a 6 figure equity amount large csa payments a low morgage fully renovated house and a second hand car and a dad that wanted equal access and met all her controlling demands would have been enough
how wrong could i have been
several months later i need a break from work ....i informed my soon to be ex wife i was going on holiday in a few months, i didnt expect a problem as she had been away and occasionally answered the door with a smile
but on the daybefore flying i reminded her to which the smile turned into rage and a door in my face
despite speaking to my kids and my ex wife whilst abroad arranging to collect the kids on my first day back i was stunned upon turning up at nursery my daughter had been. removed early
it goes down alot from here whilst abroad she obtained a injunction with a power of arrest with no police incidents and just a one sided statement
i was fuming and contacted my solicitor
£1500 later a barrister and a half day at court the judge who issued the injunction stated he was lead to believe it was a one sided case
i have lots of respect for the courts as will become clear later
but for the love of god surely evidence would be necessary considering the impact causin my childrens lack of contact with their dad due to the order and my ex wifes manipulation of that order
to control and manipulate the system irrespective of the pain it caused our children spanning from my son running away several times and my daughter in floods of tears...
the judge stated if my wife declined to drop the injunction it would need a full days hearing and anotjer 2500 pound i didnt have to return .
i left the order in place to run its 12 months course
unfortunetly due to the order i had to issue my own proceedings for refular access to my kids with was being obstructed and often changed
how ever on the day of our court hearing my lovely ex wife who resembled noone i knew for 10 yrs went to the police station stating i had breached the injunction by.........phone contact which wasnt
I'm in a situation where I'm seeking information, my ex is massively overprotective and has a continued over inflated opinion of her need to be with my 3 year old daughter, saying is she is not capable of spending two days away from her. I have her every Wednesday and Saturday overnight and have done since our split 18 months ago. I live near Leeds and have family in Scotland and South of England so in order for my daughter to have a relationship with my extended family I would like to travel for two consecutive 2 nights with her. Something that is being refused on the basis 'she cannot be away from her mum' no practical reasons given and she admits i am capable of looking after her.
Does anyone have any information that may help me? I feel she is unfairly denying me time with my daughter and preventing her having a relationship with my family. The ex thinks she owns our daughter and has said lets review it 12 months but think the same thing will happen again. She is now refusing to go to mediation so may need to take her to court but would like to gauge if its worth going.
Any information would be appreciated, or any examples of case law may help but cant find anything.
Thanks.
I really need help and advice as my situation is worsening by the day and I'm worried they are going to try stop me completely with no real evidence against me to say I am going to harm my children.
My partners ex wife left the family home nearly 4 years ago left him with the kids 12 and 16, he just got on never asked for a penny paid for everything even though she was claiming family allowance! she went on lavish holidays and got herself into lots of debt! now all of a sudden she is feeling skint!! she has gone to the child maintenance and lied saying the child lives with her and hardly sees dad! he has been told he has to start paying next month, how can he pay for a child that is living with him and pay her for child that is clearly not living with mum. The child has said she will speak to them but they have said they cannot talk to children. It has got that ridiculous even the child is having nothing to do with the mum as they know dad cant afford to pay it and keep her at his. surely they can't just take her word for it, and surely she is committing a crime by telling these lies? what evidence does he need to prove the child lives with him that the child maintenance people will believe? it has gone to appeal but you read so many bad things about them I'm worried that they will just go with what the mother tells them.
my ex (we never married) seems to be calling all the shots and im getting frustrated without much contact.
My Partners Ex has taken out so many injunctions against him so he is unable to return home and collect his belongings, he literally has the clothes he left the house with when he was falsely arrested for DV - He tried to tell the policeman that it was in fact him that was the victim - but - in the police's actual words - " Sorry mate - she got in first "
Statements have been written against my partner who has actual evidence proving that everything she is saying is a lie - Hard evidence available but no-body - inc the police - will look at it ! ... There are so many incident reports, and even complaints about the complaints lady - this stuff couldn't be written about, its ridiculous.
The woman is a textbook narcissist whom controls with the threat of withdrawal or rage ... My partner is loving and attentive and without a doubt not the violent man she has persuaded everyone he is ... But - Being of stocky muscly build and tattooed - he is the stereotypical 'Thug' !!!! His ex has managed to alienate his entire village & friends and he now has actually had to flee 100 miles away for his own safety ( as she was intimidating and harassing him at every turn - he has a non mol on her stating that she ( or any third parties ) is not allowed to contact him - which she is still doing )
Anyway - he has a court order affirming contact every other weekend until court hears the evidence he has as to why he wants and in fact needs, the girls in his care - ( Social workers are at present carrying out a section 37 report ) The girls have been with us twice now and have loved every minute - yet on their return to the mother they scream and shake and PLEAD with their father not to return them - This is heart breaking.
When in the mothers care the girls forced to listen to foul language, threats, physical and mental abuse and are often left to their own devices - they have even been bribed with a 'kitten' if they say they want to 'stay with mummy' to the social worker .... Video evidence taken.....
They have also had all devices taken away so they are now no longer able to contact " daddy " at all - which they were doing every night - often till very late - He would often Face time for a few hours and then eventually put them to bed - from 100 miles away - via face time - while his ex was on the phone to her new bf - she had no idea what the girls were doing all this time.
This is a very short history !!! .........
Now - His ex has made up crime numbers and basically lied to everyone again to keep the girls off school - to stop my partner from having them on his weekend - BUT - we have overturned this and shown it to be total fabrication - Social workers
1. Court order set up in 2012, my daughter stayed with me and my dad Friday to Monday every week.
2. I used to have a night out on a Saturday 2-3 times a month, which my daughter did not mind but my ex (bpd) would not like this, so every time I had a night out on the weekend she would drop my daughter off for an extra day during midweek.(which i did not mind) She would tell my daughter im not allowed to leave her with my dad to go out.
3. In January 2017 I Introduced my girlfriend (who I met 3 months previous)to my daughter, they got on fine. The following week my daughter was off to my girlfriend. When I asked her what was wrong my daughter said that my ex had said my girlfriend broke mammy and daddys marriage up.
4. A week later, My ex bought my daughter a puppy, and spoilt her with toys ect (just after xmas)
5. My ex then did the following things which are not true –
Sent a Facebook message to my girlfriends ex telling him I was a child abuser and to watch his son with me.
Took all my daughters savings money out of her account which my parents give to my daughter since she was born and told her I did it, also posted it all over Facebook so everyone was slandering me.
6. Told my daughter that I prefered my girlfriends son than my daughter. Also took him on holiday.
7. Contact stopped in May 2017, my daughter told me that mam has changed her job to have my daughter on weekends and my ex would not be happy if she came with me on weekends now.
7. My daughter does not want contact because I go out and leave her on a Saturday night sometimes, my ex has steered my daughter to a view of mother. I cant prove it but I am 99% sure the ex has told my daughter that because she has a dog now, if she had contact with me the dog would have to be sold.
8 On my previous weekend contact with my daughter, on her ipad there are whattsapp messages between my ex and my daughter on a number of occasions, where my ex is telling my daughter to come home as I should not have left her with my dad, also emotional blackmailing her at times.
I have been in the court process since August 2017
Cafcas involved
A very long psychologist report (she states mother has steered daughter views to that of mother, and ceasing contact with father would be emotionally dentrimantal to my daughter
Therapy sessions for me and ex
I have wrote a letter of appology to my daughter for leaving her occasionally to go out.
My ex was told to promote contact by therapist and Cafcass, but is doing the opposite by posting things on Facebook which my daughter can see.
My ex is posting things like – so proud of my daughter she is one tough cookie, the day she seen Cafcass – Deadbeat Dads / I can say sorry a million times but it wont make a difference ect (my daughter is seeing this as she is on Facebook) and is ailienating her from me.
I was supposed to see my daughter today at the Cafcass offices but Cafcass just phoned me to say she is not
I need some advice please, I was in a relationship with a married lady who is still with her husband and they have two child together, she recently became pregnant with me while with her husband, I told her that she should leave her husband and I will marry her, she refused and she is telling me that she will raise my child with her husband, she will also tell him that that's his child, but she will allow me to see the child but she will never tell the child that I am the father. But I don't want to do that, If it's my child I want to be there with him when he is born also I want him to know that I am the father of him, i don't her husband to know or think it his child.
I told her to come to an agreement, she refused and said if I interfere she will call the police on me.
Please can someone one tell me what can I do and what rights do I have over this child as I don't want my child to call someone else dad.
Thanks
MD
I offers her to go and discuss our options via mediation, but today she went to see a solicitor.
I need an advise on below before I agree or get solicitor involved.
* If we sell house before we split money can my deposit returned to me? ( it's a gift from my parents)
*Money from the sale of house is used to cover the debts that we had during our marriage before we split profit.
*She is treating me ( I am biological father of one child, other child is from her second marriage he is 13yrold) what she will claim child support for non biological child untill he will reach 18year old. ( I will support him anyway but without a treat).
*She wants 70% of income from the sale of the house! Is it possible? I do agree 50/50 after our joint debts are covered.
* My biological son (7years old) surname is under mother's name. She is treating not to give my surname until she will get what's she want.(everything as per above)
*She said I may be evicted from house what we both have mortgage for until my son will reach 18year old. And will need to pay for my mortgage.
Please advise before I have legal help.
Thank you
me & my ex-partner split up a few years ago, (we werent married & my name is on his birth certificate) & we got a 4 year old son together, i use to have him every tuesday & thursday nights as well as every other w-end, my ex told me she made an appointment for mediation but without knowing what mediation was at 1st (i thought it was a 3rd party telling us about when i can & cant see my son, until i read up about it) she cancelled mediation by then, i took my son to school on the friday after having him on the thur night ,& without warning she turned up at the school about 10-10.30 & told school its compasionate leave, but the truth was that she got the train to her boyfriends in scotland, (im in wales) i kept on asking her when they are back & her reply was she on holiday & then kept saying "dont know yet" & now i have discovered she has moved him into a school in scotland.(i heard they got different laws up there!!?) she told me there nothing i can do & i can have him school holidays & the odd w-end - when its teacher training day. also she has been known as a compulsive liar (her family said that to which i know is true) & say things for her own benefit, social services been involved about 2-3 times but every time she say that s services are happy & no further action taken, any help wold be very much appreciated, thanks in advance :)
My son no longer wants to be with his wife but is in despair as to where he will stand with the children and finances. He is worried that he will not be allowed to see his children and that his wife will make any visits under her terms.
They have a mortgage, would he have to pay all of the monthly payment, and the council tax, bills etc, she does not work as the children are young, would she have to claim benefit to live. We just don't know where he will stand on any of this and don't know where else to look for advice.
Thank you
Just recently divorced after 5 years separation. My ex now wishes to take me to court. Can anyone recommend a lawyer in the Guildford area that specialises in Single Dads representation?
I would like help with what I can expect is a reasonable enough time to be able to spend with the children. And also whether I can actually have rights to take the children out on my own.
So i am looking for anyone who is going through or has been through a similar situation and what the best course of action is. Im willing to change my job in order to take and pick them up from school if I need to. I also get alot of help from my parents so there is alot of support from my side of the family. Thanks.
my ex forced me out after moving in new home, changed the locks the next day and let in her new boyfriend soon after to live with her and my kids. Everything was under her name. That year I was really down thinking my kids (5) and (1) living with another man especially as I was the main carer staying at home and working part time, everything was so odd coming back at home from work.
One year after she asked for divorce, now that we are divorced she is not completing the form E, she is taking her time and suggesting to take her to court. I don't want to pay the solicitor to go to court as I'm saving to buy myself a small place to have the kids as I'm renting room at the moment.
my questions if someone can help:
shall I go to mediation for settlement?
is she entitled to something if I buy a place if the financial settlement is not done even if we are divorced without decree nice?
Any advise is welcome.
my ex wife has brought alleged conviction of rape against me (totally untrue )
i was bailed with conditions,1 being no contact with my 2 kiddies
i honoured this condition,my bail was then dropped as the conditions but now child services are blocking me seeing the kids
have they the power to inflict this condition
im desperate to see my kids
Having been to court to arrange financial relief, I obtained a court order that settled, amongst everything else, the child maintenance payments that I had to be making to my ex-wife for my 14-year-old daughter and with which I’ve been compliant.
However, since July 2017 my daughter has chosen to come and live with me and has been spending 5 to 6 nights (and days) at mine consistently since then.
I have called CMS and they have confirmed that that now makes me the main carer for my daughter and have advised me to apply for child benefit, which I have done and I’m now waiting for a reply.
My question is: Can I stop paying child maintenance to my ex-wife? The problem is that the court order has been valid since March 2017 and CMS cannot step in until March 2018.
To go back to court will take at least four months and considerable costs, let alone the stress. In the meantime, I’m paying money that clearly is not used for my daughter’s maintenance and needs, while at the same time I could be making use of it and cover for her needs now that she lives with me.
I appreciate that not complying with a court order is not advisable, but I would like to know what would be the consequences if I stopped paying?
I don't know their whereabouts she won't tell me.
I have been in their lives since they were born.
She soon went to csa to get money which I not mind paying for my.kids but yet okay for her to not have me in their lives but wants my money.
I have a young child to my wife and she took them just before he was due. So never met.
I believe she has changed their surname but how do I find out if this is true.
I want my.kids to have my name.
I love them and wanted to be their Dad. She had taken them.from me and hurts so much.
If given them a new man's surname I will be heartbroken.
She is sly and would say can't contact.me as she told csa I no parental right so have to pay more.
She says I'm a bad dad.
I'm not I have been there for them.
I had them at weekends or longer like Xmas new year if could and when she went out needing me to watch them.
I spend money on them. Too them places.
What can I do?
I've not much money as paying csa. My mortgage. Bills and little one in house I'm struggling as it is.
Please help
I'm really struggling with hearing about the fun times my son is having with my ex wife and her fiancé. She started seeing him 2 weeks after she asked for a separation, introduced my son to him 3 weeks after I was forced out of my home and announced they were getting married a week after divorce was finalised.
I really want my son to be happy but it feels like bit by bit this other man is taking over my son. My ex has gone all out to get my son playing the same sports that the other man likes and has stopped the activities my son used to do stating she can't afford them anymore. The new sports he does costs far more!!!! I pay my fair share for my son each month and am a co-parent (3 nights per week)
After quite some time I've finally managed to get online to the forum.
I've not been able to see my kids for two years because of the system and would welcome any advice.
I'm looking for some advise, I have recently separated from my wife but she is now telling me she is pregnant, I have asked for confirmation but she is telling me I have no legal rights to confirmation from the doctors, is this true? Can anybody help?
Me and my ex partner have been separated for over 4 years, we have a 4 year old daughter and a 5 year old son who are not aloud to see my father or sister or meet my new partner who is pregnant with their half sibling. I tried mediation but after the MIAM it came to light that my ex had no intention of coming to any sort of compromise, it was her way and that was it, now I have submitted c100 paperwork in the hope a court can do something to help us. Has anyone got any advice who has been through a similar situation?
My son is in 6th form.
At what age can i stop paying child maintenance please?
Thank you.
Currently still living with my partner and we have not been getting on for several Months. We have a 4 month old daughter that I feel is the main reason I am staying.
I have wrote her a letter that I plan on handing to her tomorrow as I am the worlds worst talker in person, Even though I know I will sit down with Her after reading the letter. I Fell terrible for doing this behind her back and going there knowing I want to leave. I have spoke with many friends but would just like to know the most common things she is going to say to me in regards to access or finances.
I currently live in her property and we don't really have any finances together so it is basically access to my daughter that I am really concerned about.
Many Thanks in Advance
Time ,she then asked me to care for our son as she couldn't cope I have now had him for a year and she is wanting him back but still wanting me to have him everyday I wrote a letter when I agreed to have him that I would
Let her have him back not knowing that when he did come live in my care he confided in me to tell me her now partner had been violent towards him , I am needing advice as to where I stand and what my legal rights are I am currently applying to the courts but any advice would be grateful thank you
I also have a 1 year old son. I do not see this child currently and therefore have to make payments to his mother.
However, the child maintenance service do not take into account my daughter I have shared care for when calculating maintenance payments to my sons mother. I must pay her fully as if I do not have another child living with me. This is because I do not pay my daughters mother maintenance although it is them saying I do not need to pay her? Does this sound right?
I have two children, 6yo boy and a 9yo girl who live with mum. We were never married. My name is on the birth certificate for both children.
There is a contact order already in place and I pay regular child maintenance
The problem:
I am unsure if one (or both) of the children is mine and I am unsure of the consequences to the contact order and to the child maintenance payments.
The dilemma:
To test or not to test DNA?
I had a one night stand and recently found out I was a father though doing a dna test. The women I slept with has registered our child without informing me, she knew I was keen to be there so I could have PR and for our child to have my surname. Am now being told that the surname cant be changed without her consent and I will have to go court to get PR, is this true due to me paying CMS? and what can I do about the change of name as this is important to me.
I f anyone can help I would be grateful
My ex keeps making excuses after excuse and i have to bend over backwards to accommodate but this is now no longer an option. My ex has a new bloke and she has introduced him to my daughter's without asking my opinion so it seems all one way.
I have looked at the options available and it seems like unless you have loads of money to constantly take the mum to court to get an order (which keeps being broken)
What can i do??????
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