How Can I Avoid Losing Contact with My Daughter?

Originally written by Chris Nickson, updated by the editorial team on 2nd April 2026

JM asks

Please could you point me in the right direction. My ex-partner has stopped any form of contact with my 9-year-old daughter because I have gone through the CSA for maintenance. I was currently paying £200 per month but found the money was not being spent on my daughter.

The CSA have informed me that I should be paying £7.00 per week. I have offered £25 but been told by my ex that unless its £50 then don't bother. That was 2 weeks ago. We had agreed contact through a solicitor. She will not even allow contact on the phone. And sent me a text saying see you in court.

There are two separate issues involved here, both custody and maintenance, and together they mean you've been denied access to your daughter, which is a distressing situation. You don't state how the original maintenance figure of £200 a month was reached, but since contact had been arranged through a solicitor, maintenance might have been arranged the same way.

If your ex is preventing you from seeing your daughter despite agreed arrangements, you need immediate guidance from our free Access Denied Action Plan.

However, if the CMS told you that you only have to pay £7 a week, it would indicate you're making less than £100 per week, the CMS says that on incomes of that level, you pay £7 per week if your gross weekly income is less than £100 or if you receive certain benefits.

What you need to do is send your ex a registered letter asking her to reinstate contact and state that you'll have to take legal action if she doesn't comply. By the sound of it, this won't do the trick, but it's a necessary legal step. After that, you need to go to court and apply for an Interim Contact Order at a Directions Hearing, which allows you contact until a full hearing on the matter.

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You'll obviously need to produce evidence from the CMS regarding maintenance at the hearing, and your solicitor will have to remind the court that the full hearing would probably be more than six months away, and a lack of contact would be detrimental to your daughter.

The bad news is that your ex might demand supervised contact – but it's better than none at all. However, if you had prior contact with your daughter, especially "staying contact" (meaning she stayed overnight with you), make sure the court is aware of that, and the circumstances in which everything changed. If previous contact arrangements had been made through the solicitor, you could ask for the enforcing of contact arrangements. Prior to the hearing, inform the court and opposing solicitor that you'll ask for interim contact and be introducing oral evidence.

That's in the short term. Before the final hearing Cafcass officials will interview you, your ex and your daughter regarding contact and custody, and you should produce evidence from the CMS about Recommended Maintenance, as well as a record of payments. If your ex continues to deny access laid down by the court, she could end up being sentenced to community service.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

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52 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

KMKY 04/06/2021 at 2:10 pm

My ex-partner and her parents moved 170 miles away at the end of August 2020. I was devastated as they took my then 5 year old son away from me (He is 6 now). My son and I are very close and after researching there was very little I could do to stop the move. My ex partners solicitor provided a letter for me to sign which stated I would have access to my son every other weekend as well as half of the school holidays which was the best I could have hoped for at the time.

My ex asked if she could not bring him down for the first term of school to give him time to settle in to his new environment. I agreed but went up to visit him during this time.

I then fell ill and was admitted into hospital and diagnosed with a life long condition which subsequently meant I was clinically extremely vulnerable and had to shield until I had both of my vaccines which I now have had. This meant I could not see him for nearly 6 months.

Now I have asked for him every other weekend I have been told he does not want to come down and that I could have him for half the holidays which will be 6 times per year. This was not what was agreed.

Is there anything I can do to ensure regular contact is restored?

This was not what was agreed and I signed the solicitors paper in good faith expecting to have regular contact with my son.

Is there anything I can do to enforce the agreement made? Any help would be appreciated as I am finding it very hard to deal with and want to resolve ASAP.

SeparatedDads Editor 27/07/2018 at 11:27 am

with regards to the process of seeing his children where his ex refuses. Your partner's ex would need to gain permission from your partner to take his child out of the country, If he thinks his ex may try to take them from the country without his consent, he can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order through the courts. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. I hope this helps.

Caring step 26/07/2018 at 9:42 am

Hi there, I'm looking for some advice for my partner.

He seperated from he's children's mother a year ago but She was harassing us both until yesterday when the police had given her a harassment order.

In this time she has denied him access to he's children, he has parental rights as he is on the birth certificate for both children, but She still refuses access and has blocked all contact with them.

She isn't in the right state of mind as she's often threatened us both and to harm her Self with the children at home.

Her only concern is that my partner is not willing to go back to her. She hasnt been complying with social services if it isnt what she wants. She has been using the children as weapons to get to him.

She's booked a holiday for the children abroad aswell without he's permission. He has told her in writing she is not allowed to take them out of the country as he is worried for the welfare of he's children.

Please help us, how do we stop her from taking the children out of the country without he's permission, how can he get access to he's children?

SeparatedDads Editor 04/01/2018 at 3:23 pm

If you have offered mediation as a solution and your ex refuses then the option would be open for you to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Andrew 04/01/2018 at 12:49 pm

Hi I'm a dad who split from my daughters mom nearly a year ago , contact has been on and off due to argument and common separating issues , at one point i put together an agreement using advice online which we agreed and signed , bit since then contact as been stopped completely after constant argument between me and her mother , she now says she feels unsafe to leave her with me , this is not true and i cant seem to do much , I've offered to try mediation to sort this , i have 2 other children who's contact as stopped because of this and also all my family ,

SeparatedDads Editor 08/02/2017 at 2:03 pm

If the court order specifies you have to give the father unsupervised visits, then you would have to stick to the court order otherwise you will be in breach. This means your ex would be able to take the matter back to court to have the order enforced. Likewise, every contact order comes with a warning outlined by the court in terms of any breach. Your only recourse is apply back to court for a variation of the order to try to prevent unsupervised access. However, you would have to give good reason for doing this and be able to show that circumstances have changed from the last time you were in court and prove new reasons why your ex should not have unsupervised visits.

Confused 01/02/2017 at 6:43 pm

Hi my ex has suprevised contact with my children due to them making allegations of abuse they are due to stop having it supervised soon but I am worried about this as I am not happy to let them be unsupervised with him at any time ever again will I have to fight to demand this in court? I am also concerned he will want to take them to his parents whouse I allow to see the kids at my house because their response to the abuse allegations was to threaten to not see the kids again basically dismissed what they alleged and not supported them at all just told anyone and everyone who would listen my kids were liars even though my ex admitted some of the allegations I'm not one to deliberately damage a child/father relationship but I'm also the first to protect my kids and not place them in danger I don't want repercussions for them from the dad and I fear they will get them if left alone with him help!

SeparatedDads Editor 24/01/2017 at 2:04 pm

No, your daughter does not have to put the father's name on the birth certificate. Currently the father has no rights and cannot make demands upon your daughter. If the father wants further rights such as Parental Responsibility, he would have to apply to take the matter to court.

Nell 23/01/2017 at 10:36 pm

My daughter desperately needs advice .her ex boyfriend left her for another woman literally dropping her off on a pavement penniless and homeless whilst she was 6 months pregnant .she had the baby but never put the father on the birth certificate .she has allowed him to see the child twice a week and he is now making all sorts of demands on her saying he wants her over night etc he is saying or rather demanding sh put his name on the birth certificate .does she have to ??

upset granny 14/01/2017 at 4:23 pm

hello I am looking for advice for my son, my son and his ex split up when she was 7mths pregnant they continued to share a bank account and he gave her money for the baby before his son was born, my son is currently a serving soldier in the army and lives away from home and wasn't informed when his ex went into labour although he had been contacting her on a weekly basis to see how she had been doing. Any way my son went to the hospital after he was told about the birth and saw his son as often as his ex allowed. He repeated asked her when his son was going to get registered so he could be there but she just said it would be after the Christmas period but he has just found out she has registered him already and left the father blank my son is devastated he has contacted her everyday for access but she has just given excuses why he cant see him and now she has blocked all contact from him, what he needs to know is can he apply to the court to prove he is the babies father and once that's established can he then apply for access to his son ? All he wants is to see and maintain his son he has done nothing wrong it wasn't even a bad split from his ex.... any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Mastergamer 18/09/2016 at 1:51 pm

I have court in 3 days and received my ex's parental questionnaire in the post today , the first 4 box's on the first page of the questionnaire was filled out by my ex but the rest of the form was filled out from recognizing the writing of my 15 yr old daughter.My ex has signed and dated it themselves and nowhere does it state on the form that its not being completed by my ex..... its a legal form i didn't think it would be allowed to be filled out by my 15 yr old daughter . Do i inform the court about this , as my ex has been emotionally brainwashing my daughter against me and even brought her to court and made her wait outside and bring coffee to them whilst we waited to go into court. Any help would be appreciated.

SeparatedDads Editor 16/09/2016 at 11:02 am

As always it really it is best to make sure the resident parent is aware of what is happening with your/their child, and that any meetings are above board, as this could give her ammunition should the matter at any point be legally disputed. However, there is nothing to say you cannot legally meet up with your child, unless there is a court order in place that prevents you from doing so. I suggest you seek legal advice here in order to explore your options.

Dad 15/09/2016 at 1:13 pm

Hi
I have a daughter age 13 who wants to see me we have contact via phone and text .
She doesn't want to ask mum to see me because of fear of upset and anger that she wants contact. But we have had secret meetings.
My question is
Is this ok in the eyes of the law.
I'm sure it will come out at some point.hopefully only when a financial settlement has been reached. .

Kissel 30/07/2016 at 1:40 pm

Simple question please:

I'm separated, pay 3k/mo child support, have joint custody. Have three kids: 12, 14, 17. They now live with mom in ireland. Kids were born and raised in Germany where I live. For two years I saw my kids regularly-with no issue-now I have a new g/f and my kids "refuse" to see me. With joint custody and maintenance established, do the children have a "right" NOT to see me. Or if there is an age at which they can choose not to see me. Many thanks.

Pete 11/07/2016 at 12:06 pm

Hi, any advice here would be very much appreciated and thank you in advance.
I currently have two children with one partner who are just under 4 and 5 weeks.
I have always paid child maintenance since the split using the government calculator to work out the payment.
My partner has moved 17 miles away but see my children 2-3 times every week depending on my shifts. Due to the distance everything has become expensive as going for days out and meals there is adding up to £200 a month. Don't get me wrong I don't mind paying this to treat my children at all.
I was paying £400 a month child maintenance but due to the current climate in industry my wages have dropped to gross £2299.97 a month.
My partner won't allow sleep overs with no reason other than she doesn't want to be without the kids.
With school commitments starting in September I'm going to be doing all the childcare duties on my rest days (up to 3 per week but 2 on average). This will be from 7am until 17:30 and will be school runs.
Due to all these expenses will I still have to pay the full childcare maintenance or may I get it slightly reduced as I'll be enduring all the costs but will have zero reductions due to sleepover restrictions especially now with school commitments and distance?
It does seem a little unfair as I'm currently paying 1/3 of my entire wages when taking the money I spend on them for food and days out etc into account too.
My partner and I are currently amicable but wanted to get advice prior to amending payment amounts as it will cause friction so wanted to ensure everything was fair and right prior to commencing.
Thank you so much for any advice and is very much appreciated.

Regards

Pete.

SeparatedDads Editor 05/05/2016 at 2:38 pm

I am very sorry to hear this. Your best option is to stay on amicable terms with your ex and decide between you what the level of care each of you will have with your child. However, relationships don't always end amicably, in which case you may have to resort to Mediation in order to sort the matter out and as a last resort, court.I suggest you read as much around the subject as you can such as: Relationships With Your Ex-Partner, here and How to Improve Relations With Your Child's Mother, here. I hope these help.

G 05/05/2016 at 1:17 am

I am currently in a Rocky patch in my relationship with my fiancé. We have a 5 month old daughter who I can't live without. My fiancé wants to move to the town we grew up in and I was up for it but needed time.
My fiancé has now decided that she isn't happy and is leaving me and taking our daughter.
I don't want any of this to happen but I feel helpless and don't want to annoy my fiancé/ex at all incase she makes life difficult.
I will jump through hoops to be an active part of my daughters life but I don't know any of the formalities or rights that I have.
Please help.

SeparatedDads Editor 14/04/2016 at 1:58 pm

I am sorry to hear this. I can only advise that you take some legal advice from an international family law solicitor who will be able to advise you of your rights and help you apply for a contact order legally through the courts. Once this is set up then she will be legally bound to this.

Joe 13/04/2016 at 7:29 pm

Hi. I have a daughter thats 3,5 yesrs old and living with her mun i England, Im from sweden and I have never lived in England my self. I have always keept contact with my daughter and she knows im her dad. Althu, her mun is not Making it easy for me to se her, im trying my best to fly over as often as possible,.. Everytime is a strugle and its so hard not knowing my rights. Last week when i ask "mum" when it would be best for her that i visit she started saying that me coming over was not a good idea and the my daughter just gets cumfused, thats she's happy with her and her boyfriend.. Can she do this? What rights do i have to see my daughter? She's constently thretening me and saying "feel free to see this futher, we bout know who will winn" :/ and im not asking for much, all i want to talk to my daughter and to see her when im abel to visit. Can she cut me out of my daughters life like that? Is that her decition to make?

Please help.

Winnyman 18/03/2016 at 7:21 am

I have an eight year old daughter in Bolton, England but I'm staying in Africa. I left Bolton when my ex-girlfriend was pregnant due to expiry of my Visa. When I got to Africa I got a good job of my career while in The UK I worked in just any job to make ends meet (14 Hours a day). Now, unfortunately due to the fact that I aint going back to Bolton my ex-girlfriend and her mother are denying me access to my daughter. I've tried many ways to keep in touch but in vain. I tried to offer financial support but in vain. At the mean time I've been blocked out of all social media with the mother and her mother and also they've changed their phone numbers. I'm desperate, I need help, I dont wanna lose my daughter.

anna 12/10/2015 at 11:53 am

I left my boyfriend of 2 and half years because of financial and emotional abuse. I have a daughter that I let him see for a couple of hrs 3x a week
When we were living together he had nothing to do with her and now that we are separated he want her to sleep over at his once a week.
The other day he took her for a couple of hrs and she came back looking distress and ill, ended up at a&e with her and when I asked him what happened he said she was fine but the minute I saw her I knew she isnt right. Im afraid she s too young for sleepovers and worried that what if she is unwell and he doesnt notice. Am I bring too overprotective here?

ropeyfuture 21/07/2015 at 7:13 pm

My Ex wife and I divorced over 5 years ago, we were married when my daughter was born. I have always paid maintenance and continued to visit my daughter (8 year old) on my ex's terms usually one weekend a month, it can be difficult as we live 300 miles apart and I would not expect my daughter to stay with me due to work commitments.

However she continues to supervise contact herself, between my daughter and myself. I can honestly say she has no grounds for doing this, other than holding some sort over control over me.

The contact agreement was set up privately so it would be more amicable. I now believe this is not the case, quite frankly I find it vindictive. I only want what is best for my little girl. All I have is there address and home telephone number of which constantly rings no answer!.

I travel 600 miles a month to visit my daughter, in the past I have slept in a tent to accommodate myself due to not being able to afford staying in a hotel. When I visit she demands to meet in a public place, then i'm allowed contact with my child (supervised) by her.

The only order in place is a residence order.

I'm just concerned whether to apply for a contact order through the courts. I don’t know what to do, as I feel we get no personal time together it’s like I’m a complete stranger.

Doc 06/05/2015 at 5:58 pm

My wife and I separated about three months ago and I left the house with virtually nothing. I'm now in my own place about three miles from her so I'm convenient to help out with the children etc. We have a 6 year old daughter together, and an 8 year old son. Biologically, our son is not mine, but I've been "Dad" since he was 6 months old, he has my name, and has never known any other father. His first word was "Dad", and that was me.

Shortly after the separation we agreed that the children would live with her and that I would have them for three nights (Fri-Sun), three weekends out of four. We agreed that I would pay some maintenance, and that we'd agree the sum between us. In the meantime I have given her money as and when she needs it. Recently she has started to become very aggressive towards me, her attitude has completely changed and she demanded that we sort out formal maintenance payments, which I am quite happy to do. I've tried talking amicably about how much would be a fair amount but she refused to have a discussion. So, I checked online on the CMS calculator and offered her the amount they would charge me, regardless of the money I spend on the children when they are with me. I've also said that I'm quite happy to come to an amicable agreement (which will mean more for her) but it has to be an agreement, not just me paying whatever she demands. She is now refusing to accept maintenance payments

However, she insists that unless I pay her SIX TIMES the amount suggested by the CMS she will restrict the amount of time the children spend with me, give absolutely no flexibility over times, and is hinting at stopping all access to the boy that I consider to be my son. She's also announced that she's going to move house and that it's "none of my business" where, despite the fact that it would involve changing the children's school. She acknowledges that my parental responsibility to our daughter entitles me to a 50% say in her schooling, but that since I have no legal responsibility for our son that gives her an overall 75% say to my 25% for the children together, so she can overrule me.

She suffers from some fairly serious mental health issues, refuses to accept any responsibility for the relationship breakdown, and insists that her attitude towards me will not have a detrimental effect on the children. Our daughter has said repeatedly that she'd like to live with me, which is a very difficult thing for me to answer. I believe that it's best for the children to stay together, and I don't imagine there's any possibility of me being granted custody of our son, and in any case, I'm very keen to avoid a court fight.

I am genuinely afraid for the children's mental well-being, and for my own relationship with the children, if they are subjected to her anger and bitterness, but neither can I afford to pay the sums she is demanding. But, if she won't even consider talking amicably and coming to an agreement, I'm left

SeparatedDads Editor 07/04/2015 at 9:50 am

@confused - I'm a little confused too. If the test had come back negative then I can't quite understand why he would be threatening to take your daughter? Firstly, have you seen this DNA test he claims to have had? If he is not on the birth certificate then he has no rights over your child, so you don't have to worry about him taking her from you. However, if he is really adamant that the DNA test claims he is not the father then he would have to take it to court and let the court try to ascertain the parentage of your child. I hope this helps.

confused 03/04/2015 at 1:44 am

i split from my boyfriend we had an off on relationship we had a little girl now 9 months he requested a dna test which came back positive hes the dad. we split a month ago he said hes had another dna test without my knowledge and said the child aint his. he isnt on the birth certificate his family wont leave me alone threatening to take my daughter from me because i refuse another dna test. what right has he got over my daughter

Si Editor 05/03/2015 at 12:40 pm

@matty - I think I would approach the school and get a letter of confirmation that she is not attending and how long she hasn't attended for and then forward it to the CSA, who can deal with it directly.

matty 04/03/2015 at 6:32 pm

My daughter is 17, and I was informed still at school in education. For the last two years I've seen her on only a couple of occasions which were strained, and clearly she appears, at best, not to like me. My ex has been poisoning her mind against me since she was small, but only started to get the desired results in her teenage years. Her new teenage dislike of me, has delighted my ex, who has reapplied to the CSA for more money due to the changed circumstances of her no longer staying with me at weekends. As part of the reasssment I contacted the school to find out exactly what she is studying, to find out she has not attended school in months.
My questions are, if she's not going to school, is she in education? If not, should I be paying for a 17 year old? Should the authorities also be treating this as a possible fraud by the mother?

Any advice would be appreciatiated.

mikey 26/01/2015 at 12:11 pm

Hi, I need to write a letter to request access to my boys, I can't afford a solicitor, can anyone give me any advice ??? Do I write to her solicitor or her ??? Any advice Please ????

kev 13/01/2015 at 10:40 am

Hi, I'm really in need of some sound advice.
I have been divorced now for 2 years. At the point of separation i had regular contact with my 3 children. Within 6 months of separation the contact dwindled significantly to nothing. I have tried many times to see them but my ex wife is very bitter and does her very best to stop me having any contact. I realize that i should have maybe gone back to court to re-establish contact legally with them but i couldn't bear the thought of upsetting the children more than they already had been. The ex wife has blocked me from contacting them via Facebook or Twitter. It has been 2.5 years since i have seen my children now. During this time i have never missed a child support payment, the payment of £477.76 monthly was agreed through the court during the divorce. the figure was calculated by the CSA. I have since remarried and have a step daughter. The questions i would like to ask are:

What right have i got as a father to see my children?
Because my circumstances have changed how do i alter my child support payment? The CSA have told me the new figure should £434 per month.

Please help

Kev.

dmw 23/12/2014 at 8:51 pm

I really need some advice. I was refused contact to my 8 year old son (now 9) for 4 weeks due to me moving into a new house with my new partner. I applied to the courts and was granted an agreement order which states that I have my son for 2 weekends per month and for half of each and every half term holiday. Now 2 months on, on 2 occasions I was denied access on his birthday which was my weekend and forced to change, now I'm being denied Christmas with him and the week as agreed. I feel the best thing is to apply back to the court for a full contact order. I am receiving abusive messages from my ex and her mother and feel I'm being blackmailed to give them what they want. Please help with advice. Thank you.

Desperate 26/11/2014 at 10:13 am

I need some advise, before I lose my mind. My ex has stopped contact completely and I don't know what to do, she's been phasing it out for ages with excuses and now she has stopped it completely, what can I do?

Matt 13/09/2014 at 5:01 pm

Hi... I have a 4 year old daughter and me and her mum as been on and off for years... I'm not on the birth certificate but I pay CSa and have been since she was 6 months old... She as changed address and her number so I have no contact... What rights do I have could someone please tell me... Thank you

Ken 01/09/2014 at 11:06 pm

Hi guys, I have my name on my son birth certificate which my ex family didn't like, I have being responsible since he was conceived, by transferring money directly from my account to hers every month and he's now 3. I have been excluded from all his birthday celebration but allowed to come see him after two weeks, I go to see him when she's free at least once in a month (50miles), I have to agreed with my ex that He will start coming to me in my home as am married and I have two other boys but just last week she turned around and said that wont happen, If I want contact I should try contact centre which am not prepared to do. She took my son to France having said she will need my consent all for me to find out she's gone without my consent, my son is in nursery and despite the fact that I have my name on his birth cert. she wont register him in my name. Guys what can I do? I want to apply for contact order by myself , can I do it without a solicitor and what are my chances?
Cheers

ken

mart 25/07/2014 at 3:50 am

Can you help with a question for me please , my partner an i have been separated for 2 years an 4 months now an we have a son who is 5 in August . When we first separated i was having my son overnight 2 an sometimes 3 nights a week , over time relations between my ex an i have broken down an we no longer speak , after being made redundant an not being able to pay the same amount of maintenance , my ex contacted the csa an has reduced my access to one night a week so that her payments will be higher . She picks an chooses various different times an days for access an I've requested numerous times for it to be a set time an day so everyone knows where they stand but she says she can choose anytime she likes an i should be grateful to see him at all and at various times has just cancelled access at the last minute so i haven't got to spend anytime with my son that week at all . What i would like is a set time an day every week which she can't change or stop when the mode takes her

best gal 16/07/2014 at 11:30 am

My friend's daughter lives in Switzerland. She has been denied access to bonding
with her and having contact. What are the legal advice to gain contact and bond with my daughter. The individual who her daughter is living is a member of the family. The individual has made it difficult for 8 years for the mother to have a bond. What are the legal steps.

rams Editor 14/07/2014 at 11:04 am

@DAD, when your daughter is 18 she can choose to come and live with you if she wants to, her mother will not be able to stop her. It won't matter if you're on the birth certificate or not.

DAD 13/07/2014 at 8:39 am

Maybe somebody can help me with some information as I can't find it online, I have daughter whose mother disappeared when she was 3, i moved overseas and a year ago my daughter found me on facebook, she has visited me and wants to live with me here, i'm not on the birth certificate and her mother refuses to add my name.

My daughter is now 2 months away from being 18 and we are trying to find out if she can add me herself when she reaches 18 to enable her to move here with me.

emma 11/04/2014 at 4:43 pm

hi,my name is emmanuel,i came to seek for assylum in swiss in 2012 but was denied asylum in 2013,after my asylum was denied i found out my girlfriend was pregnant,but i had to move to france in 2013 because i hate problems with the law,and now she has given birth and my baby is 3 months old but i still havent seen her and it kills me each passing day,i wish i could take care of my kids and show her she has the best dad in the world but its not possibe due to the law in switzerland ,please how do i go bout it please,hellllp

Stig 02/04/2014 at 9:59 am

My girlfreind of 8 years left me 9 months ago, taking with her our daughter who then was 2 years old. I have not seen my little girl for the whole 9 months, dispite trying to contact my ex and come to some kind of compramise but she won't talk to me and won't respond to text messages. I don't even know where she lives. What can I do??? Is there anyone out there who can help me get access??? I am so depressed and feel I will sink further into depression if I don't see my daughter soon. I can't afford a solicitor and have found out I can't get legal aid now for this type of situation. I have 2 older daughters from another relationship who I have stay with me every other week, and for them not seeing there baby sister is affecting them to. HELP!!!!!!

Shazka 14/03/2014 at 6:56 pm

I have a 4 month old baby boy & me and my partner split soon as he was born. My ex hasnt bonded with our son & i gave given him plently of opportunities but he keeps saying he wants it unsupervised without me. I have refused this because of the lack of bond & because of the history between me & his family (which is where he wants to take our son). He has also made threats to take him, yet i have still taken my baby to visit him in coffee shops etc. Now he is taking me to court and i am frightened that the law will grant him to take my son to his house. Can someone advise me of what may potentially happen?

Lordey 11/12/2013 at 7:45 pm

Hi I've not seen my little girl for 4 months me and my ex split up 4months ago and she stopped me seein my little girl she 8months ollf iv sent her a letter to go mediation but she hasn't replied back to my solicitor it says 2weeks and then it goes further to the courts she saying that I can see her after Xmas and new year but I'm not sure when it's killin me that I carnt see my child I have a 1 year old witch I see once a week but my other child I carnt iv begged my ex can I see her for 1hour just before Xmas but still no she has a new fella now he sees my daughter more I have so I'm the stranger I just need to no what to do next I won't to represent my self if it goes to court I don't won't it to but think it's gonna go down that route I'm not on the birth citficate either can some one help me please I'm a good dad just wasn't a gud boyfriend iv hurt her that much mentally so she uses my child to get to me
Thanks
Phil

dad1986 08/05/2013 at 6:01 pm

I was wondering if someone could help me, I have currently lost my job, me and my ex partner split up and she is demanding I pay 30 pound a week maintenance and 100 pound a month for my childs nursery which should does not need to attend yet as her mother does not work either.she is now saying unless I pay this money I can not see my daughter, I usually have my daughter 3 times a week in which I provide everything for her i'e nappies,food etc.I also buy her clothes and other things but I am panicking because I feel I have no rights to see my child and her mother holds all the cards.Can someone help me please?

MRBR 20/12/2012 at 10:39 pm

Never accept supervised contact, it makes you and others? feel as if you have done something wrong. Courts drag their heels, Cafcass are a waste of time. Never accept any negotiation to do with financial matters, she will use the children as bargaining chips then when you agree she will cut all contact.Not seen my daughter for 13 years and see lives in the same town, I would not even recognise her if she past me in the street. This sad situation would not have happened if I had kicked up a stink,stood my ground and said no to emotional blackmail. I know its hard but never play mister nice guy like I did, get in there while you can and fight tooth and nail to see your children before its too late.

joe1 12/11/2012 at 11:47 pm

Hi I received a phone call from the CSA today informing me that I owe them £19.000.00 they said it was from 1993 and that it was a reinstated payment , my son was born in 1987 I paid maintenance to the courts up to 1993 then the CSA got involved they took money from my wages But in 1993 1994, I come out of work the CSA then suspended my payment but I carried on paying my exand informed the CSA they informed me that if I missed any payment they would chase me up I kept up payments to 2005 my ex has received well over £22.00.00 she did not have a bank account and I paid in cash the need for receipts over the years passed and not having any word from CSA I thought everything was OK and to be told this I feel numb and confused, I work as a security guard not on a good wage, can they do this sort of thing? /

porscheman 12/08/2012 at 10:39 am

My now ex wife walked out on me with no warning three years ago, taking both my daughters, then aged 14 & 8. I have been unable to have any contact whatsoever with them since, as their mother stated she would make sure of it a long time ago. What legal grounds do I have to seek access for youngest daughter?

Imran 28/07/2012 at 6:40 pm

I have been seperated from my wife for 3 years now. My wife filed for divorce on grounds of abandonement. My wife changed her home and mobile number as i was phoning her everyday to try to talk to my child. All i have been asking for is some form of contact with my daughter she is my only daghter and i have so much love in my heart for my child. I have let her push me away from my daughter, friends and life that i had in the u.s for fear of the consequences of her threats. I understand it was hard for her and i feel we have both broke communications in our anger we let each other down and our daughter. I am so worried about even trying to call her as that may cause some more problems. I want to get back to my daughter and carry on in our lives like before. She lives in the U.S and because i broke down and returned to England i have lost marraige, my residency in that country and my daughter i left the country after my wife left me in the u.s. As im originally from England it felt like the best place to go to and be with my family while my divorce was being filed by my wife. I want to visit her, i feel emotionally drained, tired, confused and exhausted. I have waited for three years hoping she would find it in her heart to forgive and forget and concentrate on me and my daughter having some form of a father daughter relationship. I understand i let my wife down but i was emotionally drained hurt and confused by her actions when she took my child from me that i just lost myself and left the situation as advised by close friends and family. I have just been pushed out of her life and thats something i need to rectify. I am struggling to raise money to pay for court fees, and to pay for my reentry permit into the u.s.

ja 12/07/2012 at 10:07 pm

Can I get court access to my son.He is 23 now but has a severe learning disability.my daughter asks if he wants to come when she comes to see me but he declines.i think he is being influenced not to come.

nel 05/07/2012 at 5:44 pm

hi. if the mother moves to a different area in the uk, does she need to transport the child back and forth to the father, less than 100 miles and public transport is avaiable? she is not denying access and offers either to take them one way or meet half way. the father states that she has to take him back and forth and threatens court. what is the guidelines and does she need to transport him at all, one way or both ways?? may thanks
father has pr.

mrjk 01/06/2012 at 10:52 am

hi my ex has informed me she's taking the kids and moving 400 miles away to the south of england. we live in northern ireland and if she moves i'd never get to see my children again. can anyone tell me if she can do this?
many thanks j

Fadi 23/04/2012 at 12:35 pm

My wife went to the uk on holiday with my children about six yrs. ago but rather applied for asylum on false basis,just to be able to live there permanently and asked me to cooperate with her to get the uk citizen ship and after that I can come over and live together,but when I refused she cut off all communications and continued the false asylum process and I wrote the home office and other uk immigration authorities but to avail.I am not a British citizen neither EU citizen.To make a story short,after few years she was giving the British citizen with the children and called me to say I shall not see the children for not cooperating with her before getting the uk passports.The children are now 10yrs.,17,18 and 21.They have been brain washed and on her side.My question is do I stand a chance if I come to the uk and apply for indefinate stay on humanitarian basis and stay close to my children because being out of site or contact is out of mind and I love my children very much and I know they are being intimidated and brain-washed to have no contact with me.Thanks for your advice and direction and I hope to get some thing positive as I am very distressed and would pray for you to get us(DADS)equal rights.

Alex 19/01/2012 at 4:03 pm

Many schools have motos to do with being responsible citizens. In fact some schools have it painted on play grounds. Well surely it is part of being a responsible citizen to write to your Dad even just once a quarter to say, "Hi, I'm fine, I went to the cinema, I'm confused about how I feel toward you, as far as I can remember, you were nice but mum tells me that you are bad, I don't know what to think, love ( your child)"Also alot of people consider the verse " respect you parents " to be worth thinking about. It is surely respectful to acknowledge the positive part your Dad plays in your life , even if it is just financial. It is maybe rude to completely ignore your Dad if he is playing his part. It would be good training for the work place to put aside personal feelings and just do the business like, respectful think and send a courtesy note.Our government just leaves Dads feeling annoyed, frustrated and humiliated about this.Time for children to show some respect to Dads.

Mrb 16/01/2012 at 1:11 am

Hi, ive been in and out for the past 10 months trying to get access to my child, my ex has made many excuses and many accusations trying to delay the court case, im have problems with court as they keep giveing me court dates ever three months to sort the matter, any one have any advice on getting into court quicker? Ive not had any access to my child for 9 months and shes a moved over 100 miles away, ive tracked her down through court but have to 4 months just to get into court ti get any access. Please help.

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