Thank you for the continuous provision of information and case studies for separated dads. The information has really been very helpful. I, however, have a problem and would like your advice.
My ex-partner moved house about a month and a half ago. She did not tell me she was moving or give her new address. I have tried to call her but she hasn't answered her phone. Although I do not particularly think this is to do with me, I am not sure what her intentions are.
I have tried to obtain the new address from the school where the children go and the Child Benefit Agency but no one could give it to me. I have not seen the kids for a month. I do not think they are at risk but I miss them. I have contacted a solicitor and have been told that I will need to apply to the court but that will take along time.
Unfortunately, I do not know any of her friends to give me the address. Do you possibly know how I can obtain an address in a much quicker way?
When your ex moves without telling you
If your ex-partner has moved house and taken your children without giving you their new address, you are not alone. This happens more often than you might think, and there are practical steps you can take to find out where your children are now living.
Your solicitor may have told you that going through the courts could take a long time. That is often true. Court applications for child arrangements can stretch over many months, and you may not want to wait that long before you can see your children again.
There may be alternative options worth exploring, though success will depend on your specific circumstances.
Check what legal rights you have as a separated father. Takes 2 minutes.
Try our Father's Rights Checker free, here on this site →Using a tracing agent
One way to find your ex-partner's new address is to use a tracing agent. These are professionals who specialise in locating people who have moved without leaving forwarding details. Debt collection companies use the same methods to track down people who owe money.
You can find tracing agents online. Many of them also work as private investigators, process servers or enforcement agents. You do not need to use one based near you, as most of the work is done remotely using databases and public records. Any tracing agent you use must comply with data protection laws, so check they are operating legitimately before instructing them.
Expect to pay around £50 plus VAT for a basic trace. Some agents offer a no trace, no fee service, which means you only pay if they successfully find the address you need. Turnaround times vary depending on the complexity of the search.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Your legal position
Before you take any action, it helps to understand where you stand legally. Parental responsibility gives you the right to be involved in major decisions about your child's life, including where they live and go to school. If you have parental responsibility, you generally have a right to know where your children are living. Married fathers automatically have parental responsibility, while unmarried fathers have it if named on the birth certificate or through a court order or formal agreement.
If your ex has moved a significant distance away, this may affect your ability to maintain regular contact with your children. In some cases, they may have been required to seek your agreement or the court's permission before moving. Family law changes regularly, so getting updated legal advice is important to understand your current rights and options.
You can check your rights using the free Moving Away Rights Checker on this site. This will help you work out whether your ex was entitled to relocate and what your options are now.
What to do next
Once you have the new address, you will need to decide how to proceed. If there are no safety concerns or existing court orders preventing contact, you might try reaching out directly to arrange time with your children. If that is not possible or your ex refuses to cooperate, you may need to apply to the court for a child arrangements order. Start gathering relevant documents now, including any previous court orders, communication records and evidence of your existing relationship with your children.
A family solicitor can advise you on the best approach for your situation. Many offer a free initial consultation. Organisations such as Families Need Fathers can also provide support and guidance for separated parents.
I have twin boys who are now 19years. I have not seen them since they were 9years old as their mum and family have stopped me.
How can I find them to make contact and see if they are ok? I AM ready to meet them again if they are willing to also as I don’t know what they have been told about me.
I tried going through Family courts before he turned 2 years old, it got thrown out of court as the mother and nan stated he has autism and ADHD, which I know now cannot be diagnosed at a young age. The judge agreed with them and so I'm left with no contact with my son. For 10 years CMS been taking child maintenance from me and Recently I found out they've moved addresses?
How can I find their new address if I wanted to file a case in Family court again? CMS is no help! I managed to contact the ex on tiktok, she wasn't happy as all I wanted to know is if my son knows about his biological father? She replied with that she 'apparently' told my son about me and he 'apparently' said he's not ready to meet me yet. Gave it a few weeks then messaged ex if I could ask her something about my son.... What I wanted to ask her is for me to speak to my son through phone, hear him say he is not ready to meet me yet? Before I could ask the ex, she went on a rant about not to contact her and ends up blocking me on tiktok, also deleted her tiktok account!? Did I say something wrong wanting to hear my son's voice after 10 years? I wanted to hear from my 12 year old son if he wants to meet his father or not? I've waited 10 years, I can happily wait bit longer if my son was to tell me himself?! Now I'm at a loss, frustrated and more determined to ask my son myself anyway possible IF he wants to meet his father or not?
So, this is what I know of my son. Currently know the secondary school he is attending, can I contact the school to asked them to pass on my message to my son? Maybe, give my email address to them or my son to contact me when he is ready to meet? I do not want to break the law, so asking for advice how I can approach this legally as I am on his birth certificate, which I can provide the school as evidence I have parental responsibility.
Next query is how can I find out their new address if I wanted to file a case with family courts?
Lastly, how else can I make contact with my son? Just want to hear from my son what he has to say about knowing his father.. any advice would help and I'm happy to take this on private chat if I need to. Thanking you all
Recently,
I will appreciate your advice thanks.
In2008 my ex she took my children away and she left the house while am in work after work i went back home to find the hiuse is empty she took everything thats ok but she took my kids away from me i tried to find her couldnt now its been twn years i tried every thing to find and contact my kids but couldnt find any thing in social media today is the5th of august 2021 am still cant beleive she took away the best children in my intier life i left uk and now i live in spain but every single second every day i still think about my kids i know that the older is nearly 17 the young is 13 is that fare what alife i deserve to do that to me thx
How can I find her whereabouts, not exactly where she lives but the area
Thanks in advance
HappyLarry
changed her home address and I don't know where they live,
I travel abroad with them without telling me where and for what period.
Who can help me with these problems?
Trying to find my two children from my first marriage.
Janine Michelle and Andrew George -
Were Shepherd.
Janine born 1981 and George 1983 .
Used to live in n.wales.
My ex stopped me seeing my children when they were 7 and 6, this was because i reported her partner for abuse to my ex and physical abuse to the children.
To which social services paid a visit and although she had a restraining order against him, still allowed him in to their lives.
I want access to my children, i know roughly their last known where abouts, however the local school they went too refuse to disclose any information and i now do not know which way to turn.
Anything you could advise would be so much appreciated.
application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts will allow the courts to put a trace on the child to allow the non-resident parent to apply to court. However, the resident parent of the child can request that the address information is kept confidential to the court. The police can help protect proven abuse victims, as can the courts. Agreeable, it is a non-perfect situation. But in those situations where a parent keeps a child from the other parent for no good reason apart from pure animosity, then trying to locate the other parent in order to gain access to the child is deemed fair.
My sister left her ex due to physical, mental and emotional abuse. He abducted their 10 week old child and refused her access for 2 weeks. We had to take him to court to get her baby back. He is only allowed supervised visits at a contact centre with the baby but my sister lives in fear that he will find her address and come after her.
Perhaps you should bear this in mind for the protection of abuse victims?!
She said she would always let me be in my child’s life and that she would remain in contact with either me or one of my family members (this never happened) I have spent the last 18 months or so trying to prepare myself mentally for battle with this vindictive, narcissistic woman but I have no idea where to begin. I’ve spent so much time contemplating knocking on her door but when we split she asked me never to go around and that she would be in touch. I feel really bad about the whole situation even though I have adhered to her wishes. I am totally fed up of people judging me for following her requests but enough is enough. I’m the dad (or I think I am) and I now want my daughter in my life what the hell do I do? I have a family member who is pretty clued up on the matter but I can’t use them as my solicitor through conflict of interest and I really want to take her to the cleaners.
I hope Someone can help me. I divorced from my Ex-Wife eight years ago, we had two kids together and i saw them regularly every other weekend, my job dependent as I'm in the Army. In 2011, i went a little off the rails and started drinking heavily, seeing my kids less and less which is my own fault. I lost my phone at the time and so lost my Ex-wife's number, i also didn't know where she lived as we would always meet somewhere else when i took the kids.
I don't blame her for not trying to contact me, i take full responsibility for what happened. I haven't seen my kids since February 2011. I met my current wife in 2013 and i have been trying to find where they live since then, my Wife encourages me with this, especially as we now have two kids of our own. I found my Ex-wife on Facebook, and i don't want to just message her out of the blue. Honestly I'm too scared to message her now after so long and i don't know how the kids would react to me trying to get back in touch.
If anyone has any advice on how i would be able to get contact with my children, then i would be immensely grateful.
Can someone please help me find my daughter??? Or advise me??? Her mother's name Leila she lives in Sheffield!!! I'll reward anyone who finds them for me please!!! I'm in bits over this!!! My daughter is my world!!!
I need hlp...
I am upset about this article about tracing agents , how dose this article protect people who have families and have fled domestic abuse?
Tracing agents do not give protection to dv families.
Can you say what agency helped you find your child?
Thank you in advance
I meant reasonable not responsible (although that too, I guess).
I was tempted to go knock on her door & hopefully finally get to see my kids, but I figured anyone who could behave in a cruel & heartless way she has wouldn't listen to reason anyway & it'll probably be used against me in court & whatever.
Right now, I hope she continues to ignore things, refuses to listen to reason, refuses to go to court & the judge will give me full custody of my children due to her hard-headedness, then she'd know the torture I am going through not seeing my kids for months & months.
A few months ago my partner took it upon herself to up & leave without telling me taking my children with her.
She refused to take my calls or answer my texts, I had no idea where she had to. I gave her time to get her head together or whatever in the hope she would see sense & be responsible about all this but she refused that as well.
So I had to resort to using a tracing service, no find no fee & to my surprise they found her new address as I checked it out & found her car parked at the property. It cost me £50.
I just want our kids to know I love them and will never give up
He was born in 1965 so would be around the fifty mark now. His mum was Sandra (Sandy) Morris whom I loved so very dearly. The family are originally from the Aldershot area (where Sandra and I got married after my demob).
If anyone can throw any light on this for me I would be eternally grateful.
Thank you.
"looking for my twin daughters "
@ amazon
the story so painful , sad, court, lost money
and lost my kids
After applying to the Court for a contact order, the court then request her address via CSA and forward the documentation to the address given by CSA (active CSA case). However the documentation (for child arrangement) gets return to the court unopened, stating person doesn't live there. What can I do?
I tried calling, email, facebook, her account is still there just disabled and i haven't been blocked. the number now doesn't exist and is dead.
My ex and my two children which are 10 and 9 were living in sudbury about a year or so ago but there was problems and I haven't seen them for a yr now. I tried to make contact a week ago but some lady contacted me saying they no longer living there. What help is there if any to find out where they have moved to.
Do not let them fob you off, keep hounding them as they are legally bound to check every complaint!!... And once you do that your child is then on their system!!.. The courts always see it is in the best interests of the child to have a father/mother so you will get the ball rolling.. Now depending on the childs age their normal procedure is to use a contact centre for safeguarding measures!!.. But other arrangements are normally sorted to allow contact!!..
This is a long process but it's fair to the child because if you havnt seen the child it is a very confusing time them..
I'm about to apply for residence of my son as I have his mother enough rope to hang herself with.
I have children services on side, because of the constant breaking of court orders the system doesn't know what to, as they clearly do not wish to send her to prison, and were basically waiting for me to apply for custody, but as everyone knows that isn't the easiest thing to do as we have to work full time.. Either which way think about what you want and do it, think what's best for your child and act on it!!... Do not act in emotion, act on what's best!!..
Your child will come banging on your door one day and ask why you didn't care enough to find them or want to see them!!... Providing their are no underlying sordid secrets such as abuse/ violence then social workers will always seek to help that child have contact with another parent!!.
I wish you all the luck and love in the world in getting your children back in your lives!!...if there is anyway I can help with advice on what to do please ask, Iv been fighting my ex through the courts 6 years and the tables have turned in my favour as they will yours if you start this journey, and it is a long hard journey, it usually takes up to 8 months to get the contact order, but in that time you will get to see them on short term basis, you may not get overnight stays but you will see them, believe me this helps you and the child to bond!!..
Goodluc
I have a 5yo daughter. It has been 2 and a half years since last seeing her . Made our own arrangements initially. Had solicitors agreements for contact. Tried mediation, got FM1 form as the mother did not show. Had 2 separate contact orders. All of these have lasted no more than a few months before the mother has decided to stop showing. She married, moved away. Didn't tell me any of this. I managed to locate her via Voters Roll. Started proceedings again about 2 years ago but lost my job before going to court. Have moved several times in past couple years trying to secure work. I'm back in a more suitable, financially stable position. I transfer money almost every month. A few times over past couple years I haven't been able to. I believe she has since divorced and moved again. I've tried sending mail recorded delivery and not delivered. No longer on voters roll. She once unblocked me on FB, I noticed she was back to using maiden name, which is why I believe she is divorced. I found a picture of my daughter, so I copied it and posted it for friends/family to see. She reported me, had photo removed and blocked me again. Tried contacting her brother. He said he would pass on my info, but no longer replies to my messages. I have contacted solicitors recently. They are talking of costs in terms of thousands. Few hundred to send application. Several hundred for each court appearance etc. So I've been looking at doing it myself. I understand I need to fill out and send 4 copies of C100. And that I need to complete a C4 for locating her. Is this correct? I imagine this will be a lengthy process. I have toyed with idea of tracing agent/PI. But do not have much of a basis to go on. Not sure what name she uses etc. Is C4 through court the best option. How long can I expect it to take etc? Thanks
buti would like to be able to have my say as ive got something they need to no
i realy need to find them
What do you do when you can't find an ex partner but want to be part of your child's life ?
The child is only 2 . He is becoming very disheartened and is thinking it is better to wait till she is older .
I think he should keep trying and show he loves his daughter how ever painful it is.
Can anybody advice please?
Me and my ex broke up in 2006 and divorced and we have 2 daughters (13) and (9)
After being dragged through court just to see them and getting no where,
The more i pushed to see them the more the poisoned their minds against me,At that time they where only 6 and 3.
I haven't seen them since 2008.They live in Aylesbury and i live in Birmingham,
She has accused me of everything possible, Kidnap, Domestic violence to show that im a dangerous person,When in reality im nothing of the such,
Im trying to meet my kids but can't afford the courts as its stressful and costly and im scared if i try to meet them via the court she will simply fill their minds against me,
How can i get in touch with them with out her in the way?
Jamie was born on the 11/08/1984 and Robert was born on the 26/12/1986 it would be nice to know that they are both well and happy can you help me thank you for any thing you can do all the very best Phil.
how can I get information about my daughter
Is this really a defence that will stand up in a English court today? Even with a man-hating judge.
Thank you for your advice.
I wasn't contacted by anyone but found my now ex partner living 75 miles away and she had been housed. I also she had used history of her previous relationship as evidence she was a victim of domestic violence.
Could i take the council to court as i have now worked out that visiting my son once a week until he is 18 just in petrol it will cost me £19.000.
I have contacted the council and told them if they had followed their procedures and made enquires it would have been quite easy i find that there had been no violence between us.
All they have said is that because of data protection they cannot discuss the case with me and any further contact i make will be put on file.
My ex sold her house and had didn't have to put a penny of the £120.000 equity into another house.
Best Regards
think now going to be even harder as cant get the legal aid cos of new goverment crap
think government needs to put legal aid back in place.
however they is also works around legal aid the pro bono voluntary service some solicitors can do.
guess for me going to be long road to find out where me ex has moved to with me daughter.
or if ex ever gets back in touch.
Without me knowing she has moved away, changed my daughters surname without informing me.She has moved my daughter 168 miles away on a military base.I have tried arranging a visit but she has told me to leave her alone. What can I do?
I dont have a question as such, but am having problems dealing with my current issue.
Although my wife and I split up some time ago, and despite how things seem to have progressed to the point where I see my children every weekend (by mutual consent) and have them for an overnight stay, as well as chatting to them on a Wednesday evening via phone, I noticed earlier in the new year a slight shift in my ex's behaviour, and two days after my birthday (early March) she called to say that she had met someone, and that he was in the house on the day I had dropped the children off (in order for him to meet them), needless to say I felt extremely hurt by the fact that all of this happened so quickly, and retrospectively. I have got passed that now (to some degree), and even the fact that he has now moved in with her, but I am finding it difficult to deal with what seems to be a continuous attempt to either upset or provoke a reaction from me. One such instance was a meeting at my daughters school (TAF- Team Around the Family) meeting, which has taken some time for me to be able to attend. Essentially the school asked about picking up my daughter in emergency situations, and my ex listed herself, mother, new partner and then myself (in that order), I could only ask whether this was more about location (I live furthest away from the school, but not unmageably so), and the answer was yes, I did state how this made me feel emotionally, but that I would always be available should the need arise.
I am making every attempt to try and keep things amicable between all concerned, and this weekend even asked her new partner to assist with carrying our childrens overnight stuff to my flat (my ex had suggested that he carry my son to the flat, as he was asleep when they arrived, which for me is a case in point!).
I cannot help but feel that inevitably, my ex is trying to eradicate me from our childrens life, and it is this fear which is becoming increasingly difficult to deal with.
I believe I have an excellent relationship with my children, and am certain there is a strong bond between us (my son didnt want to go into my ex's house this weekend when I dropped them off, until I suggested he show her partner how to use their computer game, it wasnt easy to say/do, but I felt that it was right, and would show my ex that I am trying to do my best for all concerend). I am sorry if I am rattling on a bit, but if there is any advice you can give or anything I can do (that I might not already be doing), to allay these fears, I would be extremely grateful.
Just to end, at the TAF meeting, I couldnt help noting that the caseworker for my ex (with whiom I hasve had fairly positive dealings previously, and indeed the head teacher, seemed to talk as though I wasnt even
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