Separated Dads News/Blog

Separated Dads News/Blog

Government to Scrap Presumption of Parental Involvement

14th October 2025

This is a big one. The government announced in October 2025 that it intends to repeal the presumption of parental involvement from the Children Act 1989. In plain English, this means that family courts will no longer start from the position that it is in a child's best interests to have both parents involved in their life. Instead, each case will be assessed purely on its own merits, with child safety as the primary concern.

The change follows a long campaign by Claire Throssell, whose sons Jack and Paul were tragically killed by their abusive father during a contact visit in 2014. Claire argued that the presumption of parental involvement was being used to force contact in situations where children were at risk. Her courage in sharing her story has been instrumental in bringing this change about, and we have enormous respect for what she has been through.

However, at Separated Dads we do have concerns about what this means for the thousands of good, loving fathers who are already struggling to maintain a relationship with their children after separation. The presumption of parental involvement was introduced in 2014 specifically to address the problem of one parent being shut out of a child's life. Without it, there is a real risk that fathers who pose no threat whatsoever to their children will find it even harder to secure contact orders through the courts.

The repeal is included in the Courts and Tribunals Bill, which was introduced in February 2026. It has not yet become law, but it is moving through Parliament. If you are currently going through the family court system, or think you may need to in the future, we would strongly urge you to seek legal advice now. Understanding your rights and parental responsibility status is more important than ever.

We will continue to follow this closely and update you as the bill progresses. Whatever happens in legislation, never forget that your relationship with your child matters.

£17 Million for Child Focused Courts Rollout

12th March 2026

Justice Secretary David Lammy has announced £17 million in funding for 2026/27 to roll out the child focused court model to eight more areas across England. This model, previously known as the Private Law Pathfinder, is designed to make family court proceedings faster, less adversarial and more focused on the needs of children rather than the arguments between parents.

The results from the pilot areas have been encouraging. Cases are being resolved up to seven and a half months faster than under the traditional system, which is a huge improvement for families who have been stuck in limbo waiting for a court to make a decision about their children. Cafcass is also getting additional social work capacity as part of the rollout, which should mean that reports are completed more quickly and with more thorough assessments.

At Separated Dads we welcome anything that speeds up the family court process. We have heard from too many dads over the years who have waited months, sometimes over a year, for their case to be resolved. That is months of a child's life where the relationship with their father is on hold, and that time can never be recovered.

Our concern, as always, is whether the system works as well for fathers as it does for mothers. The child focused model places a strong emphasis on early resolution and mediation, which is positive, but it also relies heavily on Cafcass assessments. If those assessments are not balanced and thorough, the faster process could simply mean that unfair outcomes are reached more quickly. We would encourage any dad going through this system to engage fully with the process, attend all appointments, and keep detailed records. If you are unsure how the process works, our guide to family court is a good starting point.

£17 million is a significant investment, but whether it is enough to transform a system that has been underfunded for years remains to be seen.

Cafcass Shifts Away from 'Contact at All Costs'

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18th March 2026

Cafcass, the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, has signalled a significant shift in its approach to contact cases. The organisation appears to be moving away from the long held principle that contact with both parents should happen at all costs, towards a more cautious position where the safety of the child takes priority over maintaining a relationship with both parents.

From a child safety perspective, this is understandable. There are cases where contact with a parent is genuinely harmful, and the system must protect children in those situations. Nobody at Separated Dads would argue otherwise. However, we are concerned about the practical impact this shift will have on the many thousands of fathers who are loving, safe parents but who are being denied contact by a hostile ex partner.

The risk is that a more cautious Cafcass will be quicker to recommend reduced or supervised contact based on allegations alone, before those allegations have been properly investigated. We have heard from too many dads who have faced false accusations as a tactic to prevent contact, and a system that is now more inclined to err on the side of caution could make this problem worse.

If you are going through the system right now, our advice is clear. Document everything. Keep a record of every communication with your ex, every attempt to see your children, every cancellation and every refusal. Engage with mediation wherever possible and show the court that you are child focused. When you attend Cafcass meetings, be calm, be reasonable, and focus entirely on what is best for your children. The dads who do best in the family court are those who can demonstrate that every decision they make is driven by the needs of their child, not by conflict with their ex.

This is a challenging time for separated fathers, but staying informed and being prepared gives you the best chance of a good outcome for you and your children.

What the Family Court Changes Mean for You

25th March 2026

There has been a lot of change in the family court system recently and if you are a dad currently going through separation or trying to maintain contact with your children, it can feel overwhelming. Here is a practical summary of where things stand and what you can do.

The government is repealing the presumption of parental involvement from the Children Act 1989 through the Courts and Tribunals Bill. This means courts will no longer automatically assume that both parents should be involved in a child's life. At the same time, the child focused court model is being rolled out more widely, aiming to resolve cases faster with less conflict. Cafcass is also taking a more cautious approach to contact, prioritising child safety over the principle that contact should happen at all costs. Together, these changes mean that it is more important than ever for fathers to be proactive, prepared and informed.

If you are an unmarried father, the single most important thing you can do right now is make sure you have parental responsibility. If you are named on your child's birth certificate (which has been automatic for births registered after December 2003), you already have it. If not, you need to obtain it either through a formal agreement with the mother or through the court. Without parental responsibility, you have very limited legal standing when it comes to decisions about your child.

If you need to apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order, the form you need is a C100, and the current court fee is £232. You may be eligible for help with fees if you are on a low income or receiving benefits. Before you can apply to court, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, and the government's family mediation voucher scheme can help cover the cost of mediation sessions if you want to try resolving things without going to court. You do not need a solicitor to go to court. Many dads represent themselves successfully, and you can also take a McKenzie Friend with you for support and guidance in the courtroom.

Whatever stage you are at, do not give up. The system is not perfect, and these changes bring new challenges, but thousands of dads have successfully navigated the family courts and secured meaningful time with their children. Stay focused on your child, keep records of everything, engage with the process, and seek advice when you need it. Our guides to court are a good place to start if you are preparing for your first hearing.

Child Maintenance Rates for 2025/26

7th April 2025

A quick update on child maintenance rates for the 2025/26 tax year. The basic rates used by the Child Maintenance Service remain the same as the previous year. If you are a non resident parent, the standard rates based on your gross weekly income are: 12% for one child, 16% for two children, and 19% for three or more children.

If your child stays overnight with you, this can reduce the amount you pay. One night a week on average reduces the rate by one seventh, two nights reduces it by two sevenths, and three or more nights means you are treated as sharing care equally. It is important that you inform the CMS of your overnight arrangements, because if you do not, they will estimate that your child stays with you just one night a week.

If your gross weekly income is below £200, a reduced rate applies, and if it is below £100 or you are on certain benefits, you may only pay a flat rate of £7 per week. For those earning above £800 per week gross, an additional rate of 9%, 12% or 15% applies on income between £800 and £3,000 per week.

For a clearer picture of what you are likely to pay, check out our child maintenance guide which breaks down exactly how the calculations work and what your money should be going towards.

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Ask a Question or Comment
SeparatedDads Editor 31 Mar 2026
@JOE I can hear how much pain and anger you're carrying from your experience. Going through such a difficult court battle while protecting your child must have been incredibly traumatic, especially with the financial and emotional toll it took. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's understandable that you want to protect your daughter and share the truth with her when she's older. Many parents struggle with similar decisions about what to share and when. While false accusations in custody battles are deeply wrong and harmful, please consider speaking with a counselor who specializes in co-parenting after abuse. They can help you process these experiences and guide you on how to discuss these issues with your daughter in a way that protects her wellbeing while honoring your truth. Your daughter is fortunate to have a mother who fought so hard to protect her.
C laurie 28 Mar 2023
@joe,I have never been to court for visitation, in all honesty no games I dont believe im the (biological father ).that's why her mother never hit me with children support. And now her daughter is 18 I dont have that worry anymore .if her mother would off hit me with child support thats when I would off applied for a( dna test ).it's water under the bridge now .they got there life I got mine .nothing more to discuss.her daughter wants nothing to do with me and I feel exactly the same way and fully understand in reality we are complete strangers. I personally think her mother got the raw end off the stick she had to rasie her and support her .and I got off Scott free not a worry in the world son .
JOE 27 Mar 2023
I would like to tell all you fathers that claim to love their children so much that you want to have alienation experts in court to side with you-you will disgust your children when they are adults and learn about how you wanted to tear them away from their mothers especially when you use it as a way to try to deflect from you own abusive behaviours against the mothers. My ex narc father of my child tried to do this and after many hundreds of thousands in legal fees the judge saw through the alienation false accusation thankfully. I hope that those that falsely accuse mothers of parental alienation have justice delivered to them by a higher power then the courts. The courts should lock up all those men who have such false allegations made against mothers. Just remember that falsely accusing mothers of such things does mean that mothers have every right to not to want to even spit in your direction. It is amazing how men who abuse women would use such tactics and these websites teach them to use such tactics mean that there is a greater animosity towards them. As soon as my child is 18 I will show her what her dad wanted-lets see how that helps him with his relationship with his child. Men such as my ex disgust me with what they will do.
Dad@future 11 Mar 2023
Hi. This question is about the brick wall of unhelpfulness that I hit when trying to engage with the educational establishment. My son left school last year. We have been estranged since he was 10 years old, but I have kept up to date with his education via the school app and received all of the usual school emails that all parents are sent. Despite it being a bit of a fight with the school, I received his exam results last year too. There is no contact with his mother and so I have no idea what he did after leaving school. I do think he has continued to further his education but, I am left with no other option but to submit a SARS request to the county council asking where he was being educated - nothing else. There are no court orders and I supplied all of the required documents, including a copy of his birth certificate. This was on the 4th of November 2022 and was accepted by the council. The council dithered for weeks and apologised when I chased them up, finally telling me it was with their legal department. I got so fed up with their procrastinating, that I made a complaint to the Information Commissioners Office, who in turn wrote to the council and suggested they resolved the request. Yesterday evening I received the result. The council is refusing to provide me with the information "This is due to the fact you are requesting data in relation to a child over 12, and we require written consent from your child advising that consent has been given for you to request data on their behalf" I think this is nonsense, but not really sure where or what to do now. I have asked them to provide the policy or law that they're using to support this stance. I am hoping someone has already been here and can advise or comment.
Patrick 23 Jan 2023
Hi, My ex keeps me asking to see our daughter over night or day access, the thing is she had her kids taken away from her due to bad decisions. her other 4 kids are in care (i'm not the father) and my daughter is with me. The social say we are not open to them so the decision is mine to make, however the other kids don't see her unsupervised outside of contact centres so why should mine, however she keeps asking and I find it hard to answer the questions. I have offered her to see our child at mine or in my local area etc but she always declines, it seems she wants to cross the bridge before it's built. Anyone any advice or been in the same situation ?
SeparatedDads Editor 16 Dec 2015
I am sorry to hear this - and I'm afraid she can. However, likewise you may be able to claim a special expenses variation. These are also known as 'contact costs' and cover the expenses you must pay to keep in touch with the children you’re paying maintenance for. If your ex has moved away and it costs you in travel, bus fares or overnight stays (if it is not feasible to undertake the journey in one day), I hope this helps.
Down... :-( 15 Dec 2015
Hello, Need some advice, I have paid maintenance without fail since I split up. My ex decided to move away with her new partner, I was against this as it would mean instead of me seeing my kids 2/3 times a week I can now only see them 1/2 times per week. She said when she moved that she would keep the current payments in place, now she has changed her mind and is seeking to up the payments due to me not seeing them as much. So I have now been hit with not seeing my kids as much and now potentially having to pay more for that.. can she do that ? Or do I have to take it on the chin... advice please ..
SeparatedDads Editor 14 Dec 2015
Yes, possibly, please see gov.uk whichYou can ask the CSA/CMS to take into account certain expenses you pay such as travel expenses. These are called ‘special expenses’ and can reduce the gross income figure that is used when the CSA/CMS works out child maintenance. I hope this helps.
Gray 11 Dec 2015
Good evening all, my ex wife keeps threatening to stop me seeing my children. ( which breaks my heart).One is 9 and the other is 14. It costs me £60 every other weekend to collect and take home, but this is on top off my £250 csa payments. I don't mind paying to collect them as I love seeing them but financially it is becoming difficult. Am I entitled to any reduced csa payments or ask my ex wife to contribute to the travel costs? I had to move away for a job and somewhere to live.
Stephen 12 Sep 2015
My first baby was born at 1.42am on Sunday 6th sept 2015. I was there at the birth, I was there throughout the whole pregnacy, I have been for my girlfriend and her little girl for 7years. I helped her through the legal process with her previous partner with regards to residency of her first child. Ella my I guess Ex-now, has literally barred me from having any contact with our newborn babygirl soon after getting back from hospital earlier this wk. Has blocked me on FB has sent me a very long nasty text and all for doing absolutely nothing wrong. We are not married and I am afraid she'll name the child without my surname and take her completely away from me. This woman had done practically the same to her previous partner and her mum also did the same to her dad. Her family are very troubled people. Although Ella is generally a good mother she is a troubled woman who has had several bouts of depression, including 6mths last year 2014. I am not necessarily concerned about the safety of my baby or her sister I am very afraid I am never going to see her again and also lose the bonding stage of our babys life. All our friends and my family would clearly state I have been amazing towards ella for 7yrs and it is however ella/her insane family that have the main unfounded issue with me and men in general. Infact her mother had to escorted off the maternity ward for shouting abuse at Ella. I can't afford solicitors etc and I am not sure I want to go down that route as it rarely works and the baby is too young to be away from mum, I just want to see her. I have tried ringing texting emailing her but no joy. Have stated i am happy with any contact she is comfortable with but no joy. Has she the right to prevent contact and the right to not name me on birth certificant??? I have no idea of what to do. I want to play an equal part in her life and give my all to her. It is about what you give a child not what you get out of it. I feel contact orders don't workas they caneasily be breeched. I feel in lightof her mental state and pass history of stopping contact a Joint residency would be best so I the right to equal parenting and would be able to have greater access as she grows up so can ensure she is safe... Could also help the mother more who obviously is struggling emotionally
Karl Editor 22 May 2015
@G - who do you want to prove this to? You can just show the person letters of correspondence from the CSA, or ask for a statement. I wouldn't let this bother you, it shouldn't get you all worked up.
G 18 May 2015
How can I prove that I'm paying CSA to my son,his mother has a bank app n shows him all the time there's no money from me, she obviously has another account it goes in he hates me she's ruined our relationship I'm at my wits end
Sam Editor 23 Mar 2015
@Dan_1989 - it is always a tricky one as you can't really force him to see his son. It sounds like he is over enamoured by his new girlfriend and has let his responsibilities slip. It might be a matter of pointing out his responsibilities and that he can't just pick up his child and drop him when he feels like it. Other than that there really isn't much you can do, usually it's the other way around and fathers are having to fight to see their children.
Dan_1989 20 Mar 2015
Hi I'm looking advice about my ex partner, as a mum I just wanted to know what other dads think of this, he recently decided he wants to see less of our 4 year old son, he usually sees him every weekend Saturday afternoon till Sunday evening, but since he's got with his new partner (who's pregnant with another mans baby and has a child by a different man) he wants to pick my son up at 6:30 on Saturday's and drop him off on Sunday lunch time every other week, I work 3 out of 4 Saturday's and at this moment in time I can't change my hours at work, he's told as I'm the 'main carer' it's not his problem or his responsibility to look after his son, my son is devastated his dad doesn't want to see him as much and got himself all worked up about it, any advice on what I can do to try and resolve this matter with his dad without it affecting my work and my son would be most grateful
SeparatedDads Editor 5 Mar 2015
@cokey123 - You may be interested in the article Ex Partners and Parental Alienation Syndrome, While is is not really recognised through the courts because it is very difficult to establish, it is being recognised as an issue. You don't say how old your daughter is, but if she is interviewed as part of the process the Social Services should be able to define whether or not they think she is telling the truth. I hope this helps.
cokey123 5 Mar 2015
Me and my wife have separated and i had my 6yr old daughter on weekends unless i was on call every was fine until i ask my wife for a divorce then in January 2015 i had my daughter for the weekend and dropped her off at her mother house as arranged then the next thing i know the police call me as my daughter had said i was drinking beer and we had a argument over mytablet and i threw at her which is all untrue,as i believe that my ex wife has put words into my daughter mouth or told her to say this to the police as she didnt want us to break up so now im wait to hear what going to happen from the police and social services, social services have said that the section 47 has been completed just waiting for the assessment to be completed and i ask them to talk to my ex wife about contact with my daughter which i just heard back from them and apparently my ex wife told the social services that my daughter had to her that she doesn't want to see me again which i believe my daughter has been poisoned against me by my ex wife any help
Toc H Barnsley 14 Feb 2015
Would someone call me I am a board trustee of Toc H UK and chair of Barnsley branch of Toc H.I have some ideas regarding dads and lads projects.
Rache Editor 28 Jan 2015
@Matt - this is a tricky situation as by not running this through with your ex, then it could pose all sorts of problems later on. The fact you have PR means you could take your daughter to live with you, but your ex could then could apply through the courts and it might jeopardise your position, as the outcome will be judged on the best interests of your daughter. The courts like structure and continuity in a child's life and you taking her 160 miles away would not give that. The fact you would be taking her out of school, away from her friends and not least her brother and mother might sound idealistic, but the reality might have a very different outcome. I'd be brave, discuss it with her mother and see what her opinion is. However, I personally think this is unfair to put such pressure on your daughter to both choose between you and her mother and also uproot her whole life.
Matt 27 Jan 2015
I have a 50/50 childcare arrangement which has been established for four years. I have a 10 year old girl and a 16 year old boy. I would like to move into my new partners house but she lives 160 miles away. My son is happy to stay with mum because of his college work. But my daughter wants to come with me but is scared mum won't let her come. I have parental responsibility. My ex partner left the children with me when she had an affair. Do I have to ask permission or can I tell her we are moving. I don't want to stress my daughter with a big argument.
Matt 27 Jan 2015
My ex partner and I have 2 children 16 y old boy and 9 y old girl and 50/50 childcare arrangement for the last four years. I have now met a new partner and I want to move in with her. Unfortunately my new partner lives over 160 miles away. My son wants to stay with mum because of his college work which is fine. My daughter wants to come with me but is frightened that mum won't let her come. Do I need to get mums permission for her to go or can I just take her. I have parental responsibility and I am on the birth certificate. When we originally separated my ex had an affair and left the kids with me. What can I do?
DarrenJF 8 Sep 2014
Hi, I am trying to reestablish contact with my 10 yr old son.. It has been 6yrs since I last saw him... I had a contact order, parental responsibility and regular fortnightly contact until 2 months before his 4th birthday... My ex never wanted me to have contact with my son and from the day he was born did everything in her power to prevent me seeing him and building a relationship with him.. I took her into court and CAFCASS was involved, to begin with I was happy with this, as after the initial interview with them the CAFCASS report stated that my ex was unreasonable, unstable, refused to even consider allowing me contact with no grounds to do so, and was refusing contact out of spite... It also stated that I, myself was a good father, responsible and loving, always putting my son first.. Due to this report I was awarded a contact order giving me 2 days during the week and every other Saturday.. I was over the moon... Everything went well from then on, that is until Ms Eileen Ford (CAFCASS Family Liaison Officer) got involved... My son was almost 2 by then... During my first meeting with her she informed me of how upset the court decision had made my ex, that although she had accepted the fact I must have contact with my son, the amount of contact I had been awarded was causing her deep emotional issues... Would I agree to reduce the contact to just the fortnightly visit on the Saturday for a period until my ex got her head around it... I had no hostility or bad feelings towards my ex and still cared deeply for her, so I agreed to this in the hope my ex would come around... This did not happen and till the day my contact was stopped this was all the contact I had with my son... The last time I saw my son was 2 months before his 4th birthday, I had driven 230 miles from Gt Yarmouth to Blackheath for 9am to collect him.. I was met at the door by my ex's mother, she said that my son wasn't ready to leave, and would I mind coming in for a few minutes as they needed to talk to me... I was ushered into their lounge where I discovered Ms Eileen Ford sitting in the arm chair next to my ex.. I was then accused of being in a stolen car, the car not being in my name and being uninsured... I denied this, told them that the car WAS mine that it was registered in MY name and insured by Me... I was called a LIAR, by both my ex, her mother and Ms Eileen Ford...! I was told by Ms Eileen Ford that contact arrangements HAD to be stopped until I proved the legality of my car, that this was to put my EX and her MOTHER at ease...! I asked if I could still take my son swimming using public transport (10mins on the bus from outside my ex's home) and leave my car where it was... To this Ms Ford said No..! I asked if I could take him to the park across the road for a couple of hours, again Ms Ford and my Ex said No, that until my car paperwork was seen contact would NOT go ahead.. This was because they did not believe the car
Mike 17 Jul 2013
Is it kidnapping if a father takes his daughter on holiday in this country without the mothers consent
laurak 1 Jun 2013
the system well and truly sucks my partner split with his ex 41/2 yrs ago we have been together 4 he fought in court for 2 years after proving the mother was an alcoholic etc etc they awarded contact but she still calls all the shots she says there not allowed near me because shes so pathetic and emotionally kills his 3 kids brains against everybody,everybody needs to stand together because the court is just a waste of time and effort my partner seems to let her get away with it but iv told him i wont because it doesnt just affect his life it effects his children she used to physically abuse him how can any court let this mother keep her kids!!!!
Jools 3 May 2013
I have been seperated from my ex hubby for almost 6years. We have two beautiful boys who lived with me post seperation and stayed with their dad wed and Thursday nights as well as every other w.end too. I met my new partner last year and he was the first man I introduced to the kids. He has since moved in and we are planning our new life together, moving house and possibly even a baby if we are lucky. My eldest child's behaviour has become increasingly difficult the last year or so and I was putting it down to hormone changes and starting at High School so was experiencing a lot of change. My eldest son, 12, won't accept my new partner and has even cited him as the reason why he has decided to live with his dad full time now. I let him go thinking he'd be back within a week however 6months have past and he seems happier with his dad. On top of this he has stopped all contact with me. It's extremely upsetting and hurtful and I don't know what to do? I should mention that my ex left us for his best friends wife and they are still together now albeit not living in same house. He is a very controlling man and appears to be enjoying the hurt this is causing me, albeit I'm trying not to let them see how much it is affecting me. Today I heard from my youngest son that my eldest son is starting at a new school next week. This is news to me and I really would appreciate any advice on how to proceed. Many thanks in advance...
Grandmother 30 Apr 2013
Can anybody let me know where to get a template of the first letter you should write to the mother, My son has been told he can no longer see his daughershope you can help
Applemac27 26 Mar 2013
My ex & I have been separated for two and a half years, and divorced for 3 months. I pick up our two children from school on a Thursday and they are with me until Saturday evening (sometimes until Sunday) I also see them on a Tuesday evening for a couple of hours while the ex goes to the gym. My relationship with the ex is fairly amicable, however whenever I stand up to her or she doesn't like what I say she threatens to not let me have the kids. She has just moved the children's schools and informed me via text message 2 days before they finished their old school! I always seem to back down, as I do not want the children to witness any heated arguments. Any advice or help would be most welcome!
craigs 20 Nov 2012
I split with my ex-girlfriend at the end of february this year. Our Daughter was five weeks old. I left as asked and left everything to my ex-girlfriend. I saw my daughter on two occasions at the house until one day I turned up and she wasnt there. I was told by my ex's mum she had gone to Wolverhampton and will be back in her own time. I waited patiently until it had been over two weeks. I then contacted my ex's mum and asked when I can see my daughter. I was told I needed to have a meeting with her before contact could take place. I attended this meeting where my ex was present and was told contact had to take place in a contact centre. There reasons were that I was abusive and they had heard I hatched a plan to kidnap my daughter. I had no choice but to accept even though her allegations were lies. They said they would make the referral to a contact centre close by and would inform me when the first visit was. A month later, there was no contact. They ignored my texts, letters, calls so I had to get a solicitor. My solicitor sent a letter requesting contact which my ex ignored. So my solicitor arranged a mediation session and informed my ex which she didnt turn up too. I then could file for court and had to wait over three months for a court date. I effectively didnt see my daughter for seven months. We have just had our directions hearing, and my ex chose not to pursue her claims of violence or potiental abduction as she had no proof so rejected a scott schedule. An agreement was then made between myself, my ex and caffcass for contact to start in a contact centre for three months with the promise of moving forward in january. The reason I tell this is so father reading can gain hope. I have now attended the contact centre twice as it is fortnightly and I am the only man there! Patience and perserverance will pay off. If you are genuine and can be a positive influence on your child's life then the court can't reject your claim. Dont be dragged into 'point scoring' or 'mud-slinging'. The main priority is your child. Unfortunately for fathers we draw the short straw to start with but if you put your head down and nod along then you will achieve what you set out for. Nothing will ever give me the months I missed of my daughters life, but ive taken the right action to prevent that ever happening again. Without court involvement, mothers have everything. But once we get a foothold in our daughters life we can progress from there. The initial part is difficult, and may take time. State what you realisticly want contact wise. Dont shoot for things that your never going to get, but aim high. For instance, I have told the court that my wish in the future is to have joint- custody. Whether I get that or not is irrelevant. The fact that I have stated it now, so in a few years I have more chance of getting that as the court have seen I have worked towards it. Chins up fellas, and contact your solicitors.
PVW 20 Jul 2012
Great site here. I'm just wondering what the difference (if any) is between access, visitation and contact. More specifically I am wondering if there is any agreement/order that could be made whereby the mother brings the child to the father (and his family) even if only once a month. I live quite far away from the mother and my child and have been traveling three hours every week for the past six months. My child has only been here to see my family twice in that time. Which to me seems very unfair so I would like to know if there was some way that the mother could be bound to bring my child here at least once a month. To me it seems reasonable but she disagrees and basically says I have to do whatever she wants because she is the mother. Or if she could be made to allow me to have my child overnight at the weekends, that would be reasonable too, even if I had to go and collect her and take her back. Also I am not on the birth certificate even though I am the father. The whole thing stresses me out a lot and I do have negative thoughts sometimes, as you can imagine. Such as not seeing my child to avoid the stress. I would (probably) never do that though but it upsets me to have these thoughts, even if they are only fleeting. And that's on top of the upset I've already got with this situation. Thanks
sian_louise 18 Jul 2012
My brother and his ex partner split up 5 months ago, when they first split up she took ran off with their son, so he went to the solicitors and he was in court within 24hours and managed to get a residential order which she was served when they traced her, and she had to come bk with their son within 12hours and now is not allowed to take him within 2 miles out of town, they went back to court a few days after because my brother wanted access of his son after a few times at court he finally gt 2 and a half days with him,he is still going to court to try and get full custody. but today his ex partner has told my brother that she has been kicked out and he has to keep hold of their son, any advice on what he should do please?? Thankyou
Andy 15 Jul 2012
Is there any likely hood of me gaining residency of my 7 year old son. I pay through CSA which is too much as he stays several nights with my partner and I throughout the year which the CSA are not aware of, we have kept records of this since 2009 with calenders. There have been several issues with the finacial security, home stablity which have been affecting him at my ex's. He now currectly speaks to a learning mentor at his primary school due to him showing very low confidence and self esteem. I have again kept records of issues caused by my ex such as drinking with him there, not being home when my son is meant to be dropped to her and various other incidents. I have him every weekend and some days in the week so there has always been a lot of contact with me (I am aware of ow fortunate this make me). My ex however is now trying to prevent this as much as possible and I do not believe her negativity towards me helps our son in his confidence issues and believe that the things which are said to him will only be detrimental as they are affecting his emotional well being. I greatly believe he would be better living with me, his sister and his step mother which will provide him with a much more positive environment and family stability and support. I live close to his current school and this would therefore not need to change. Thanks Andy.
Remmo 12 Jul 2012
I have today been to Court representing myself to get contact restored with my son Alex aged 7. At the end of March 2012 his mother (my ex-partner) advised me that unless I agreed to pay more maintenance she would allow no further contact with my son. I said that I would not be blackmailed and said that I was paying what I was told to pay by the CSA plus additional monies for school uniform, school trips etc. From March 2012 all communication was cut with my son with my phone numbers barred from their phone and letters I wrote to my son returned marked "Gone Away". I went to Citizens Advice and managed to get a 30 minute free session with a local Solicitor who advised me what forms I needed to complete in order to apply for a Contact Order via the courts. I paid the £200 court application fee and with the guidance from the Solicitor I had met represented myself at court and contact was restored by the Judge and agreed contact for the future even involving overnight stays which my ex-partner had refused to allow previously.My advice is do not give up however bad the situation may seem and if necessary go to court. From my experience today the court seems to think that the child/children should have contact with their father and father's relatives. My ex-partner tried to say that she needed time to prepare our son for renewed contact with his father and wanted my initial contacts with him supervised.The judge did not agree and I have my son for a whole day to myself this Saturday. I also got to speak with him tonight on the telephone as directed by the judge even though I had to use a public telephone box as my landline and mobile phone numbers are still barred from my ex-partners phone but it was worth it.I know that things will not be easy between myself and my ex-partner on future hand overs but the very fact that someone in authority has told her of the consequences she may face in trying to restrict contact between my son and I was worth the wait.
Harrylou 10 Jul 2012
What more can I say about the justice system when it comes to fathers gaining access to their children. I feel it is unfair that despite everything that has gone by having your kids every weekend without fail, how come after going to court and the lies and deceit portrayed by the childrens mother that it is the father who suffers with just 1 1/2 hours every fortnight in a contact centre. Todays world is very anti dads and I think we need to fight and stand up and be heard that we will not take this lying down. Parental responsibility is not a chore it is a God given right for any man who brings a child into the world and nurtures the child as they grow and then to have them poisoned against you in away that far outreaches the realms of normalcy in todays age. I have to sit back and take whatever access I can get until Cafcass complete their reports 12 October will be a day I will never forget as I will finally rejoice in the fact of getting my kids back with me without interference from their mother.
gloria 23 Jun 2012
i live in scotland and wanted to ask under scottish law do i have to pay half the mortgage and child support. I have been seperated from my ex for just over a year now and pay £250 per month for my 2 boys. I dont pay to the mortgage and my ex sent letter from solicitor proposing I take my name off mortgage. If I agree to this, would i be liable if she defaults? Letter states she will not take me to court about this if i agree to this. She has said to me if she takes me to court over this i would have to pay half the mortgage and child maintenance for my boys. Anyone help?
max 18 May 2012
Resolve a case within 6 months, you've got to be joking! Mine's been going on for over a year now and I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It feels like it's never going to end, my ex is dragging everything out she's manged to change the last court date twice just so I wouldn't be able to sort out having my son on his birthday. The system is a joke, how can some court decide when and if I see my children who belong to me! Something needs to change and fast!
InterestedDad 10 May 2012
The piece on the Queens speech is interesting and I would like to know more. I hope it's not just another lame governmental piece of waffle and that something will actually happen. Reform giving more equal rights to fathers is LONG overdue!!

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