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Paternal Grandparents' Rights

Originally written by Chris Nickson, updated by the editorial team on 3rd July 2026
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Paternal Grandparents' Rights

The role grandparents play

Grandparents often form some of the closest bonds in a child's life. Many provide regular childcare while parents work, and some spend more time with grandchildren during the week than the parents themselves do.

This involvement creates strong relationships that matter to both generations. When a couple separates, paternal grandparents can find themselves suddenly cut off from grandchildren they helped raise. Thousands of families across the UK face this situation each year, and the grief of losing contact with a grandchild you helped raise is real and valid.

Knowing your legal position can help you decide how to move forward, though the path is rarely simple.

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What the law says about grandparents' rights

Grandparents in England and Wales do not have automatic legal rights to see their grandchildren. Parental responsibility sits with the parents, which usually means anyone named on the birth certificate. They are the ones with direct legal authority over decisions about the child.

This can feel harsh, but it does not mean grandparents have no options. The law allows grandparents to apply for a court order to spend time with their grandchildren. The process involves two stages.

  • First, you need permission from the court to make the application. This is called leave to apply.
  • If leave is granted, you can then apply for a Child Arrangements Order setting out when you will see the child.

Courts consider several factors when deciding whether to grant leave, including the nature of your existing relationship with the grandchild, the potential disruption to the child's life, and any concerns raised by the parents. Having a close bond with your grandchild helps your case, but the decision is never automatic, and each application turns on its own facts.

When deciding any application, the court's main concern is the welfare of the child. Judges will consider factors including the existing relationship, the child's wishes and feelings where they are mature enough to express them, and any reasons the parents may have for opposing contact.

Courts take children's views into account based on their maturity and understanding rather than a fixed age. A younger child who can clearly articulate their feelings may be heard, while an older child's preferences are weighed alongside other considerations. A child's view is one factor among several.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Trying to sort things out without going to court

Court should generally be a last resort. Before making an application, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM. This requirement is mandatory unless an exemption applies, such as in cases involving domestic abuse or where the other party cannot be contacted. The meeting is a short session where a mediator explains the process and assesses whether mediation might work for your situation.

Mediation involves sitting down with a trained mediator to try to reach an agreement with the child's parents. It costs less than court proceedings and tends to be quicker. Many families reach arrangements through mediation that hold up over time. However, mediation requires both parties to engage willingly, and it cannot resolve every dispute. Where one side refuses to participate meaningfully, or where the relationship has broken down completely, mediation may not produce results.

The Family Mediation Council has a directory of accredited mediators across the UK. Some people qualify for legal aid to cover mediation costs, depending on their financial circumstances.

Getting legal advice

Family law can be complicated, and every case has its own details. If you are thinking about applying for contact with grandchildren, speaking to a family solicitor is sensible. Many offer a free initial consultation.

You can find a solicitor through the Law Society's online search tool. Citizens Advice also provides free guidance on family matters and can point you towards local services.

For general information on Child Arrangements Orders and how family courts work, GOV.UK has guidance that explains the process step by step.

Losing contact with grandchildren is difficult. The legal route takes time and outcomes are uncertain. But options do exist, and many grandparents have rebuilt relationships through the courts when other approaches have failed.

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229 questions
Ask Separated Dads a Question
SeparatedDads Editor 03/07/2026 at 10:32 pm
@jlasswade Hi Jane, this sounds incredibly stressful, but your son needs to get straight on the phone to his family solicitor today and flag the new allegation before it derails the court process. He should cooperate fully with any police enquiry, keep a written log of every handover, missed contact and communication, and avoid confronting the mother directly. His solicitor can also apply back to the Sheriff for enforcement of the existing contact order and raise the pattern of repeated allegations. Grandparents in Scotland can seek a contact order too, so worth asking about that.
jlasswade 03/07/2026 at 10:21 pm
my son and his wife now divorced with a 7 year old son. There has been a custody battle going on through the courts for approximately the last 3 to 4 years which we thought was about to come to an end with the Sheriff soon making her decision. Things progressed from the mother refusing to let any of us see his son to my son having him over the weekend then this stopped for a period of time as the mother made false allegations which were investigated via the court as far as I am aware. The court then allowed my son to have his son Alfie from Monday after school to Wednesday when he dropped him back at school in the morning. This has been going reasonably well up until this the start of this week when he attempted to pick up his son and was told by the mother and her ne partner that she had been advised by the police not to let him go with my son. on trying to find out what was going on my son has been told that the mother has indeed reported him to the police saying that he has been in the past touching his son in a unappropriated way i.e. touching his private parts.

She has previously made similar accusations which as far as I am aware were investigated by social services

What is the best route for my son to take

Regards
Jane
SeparatedDads Editor 24/05/2026 at 9:18 am
@Angie Driving past the school to catch a glimpse isn't illegal in itself, but be careful. If you're spotted regularly, or if the parents complain, you could end up accused of harassment, and that would seriously hurt any future application for contact. Honestly, the better route is applying to the family court for permission to seek a Child Arrangements Order. Two years is a long time, and a solicitor offering a free half hour could really help.
Angie 09/06/2023 at 6:04 pm
I haven’t seen my grandson for two years he was 8 when I last saw him , we use to have him every weekend . Dad not really a good dad . My question is if I drove past his school just to see him not approach him would I be breaking the law . Thank you
Carol Harris 18/05/2023 at 8:44 pm
My stepson has a son with his ex, she is a control freak, is paranoid due to excessive drug use prior to her pregnancy, he is only allowed to see his son at her house and is not allowed to take him out alone. He is not himself at all and does exactly what he is told where this son is concerned and will not run the risk of going to court as she would prevent him access whilst waiting for court dates, he says this would kill him so he can't do it. The child has not been socialised at all (is nearly 3) and only sees his Mum, Dad when allowed and her parents and her Grandfather.He has been diagnosed with level 2 autism but receives very little stimulation.

The only reason we are not allowed to see the child is that we would not do as we were told to by her, something her own parents do to prevent the child being withdrawn from them.

We have real concerns for our Grandson but it seems legally we are not in a position to do anything about it, can anyone give us some advice please? Please don't suggest talking to her or mediation she would not speak to us and would refuse mediation.

It seems like a form of abuse to us, are there any routes open to us in England?

Thank you
t 18/04/2023 at 4:14 pm
both parents and both children do not want a relationship with the grandma!! she threatened to lock our 5 year old in the house alone and then blamed our 8 year old for grassing her up thi resulted in our 8 year old needing cahms therapy as she was panicked that everyone hated her and was scared the grandma would call nack to the house and tell her off so we said she could only see the children supervised she refused and has taken us tp court. there are no safeguarding issues or welfare issues with these kidd they are very well looked after. how likely that she will gain contact even though the children do nit wish to see her?
Mimi 24/05/2022 at 4:42 am
My son and his wife had my grand daughter when they was 18 And both of them was heavy into drug's. ( but so was her mother ) Her mother had R most of the time when she was born keeping her from my son, and his family but her daughter could visit. 3 years later my grandson was was born ( sadly he was born an addict) when my grandson was about 10 months she filed for temporary custody of both kids. No matter how hard I tried to see them I was shot down !! She would tell me yes then when I showed up to get them the law was called ?? this went on for a couple years. Then when kids was 5 and 2 she invited both parents over for dinner ( there was lots of drinking and other things ) at this time papers was signed by both to terminate their parental rights. Nasty trick but she did it !
I haven’t seen them since. So to make a long story short my daughter-in-law passed away of a drug overdose in 2020. Two weeks after that her younger sister committed suicide by a drug overdose. Two months after that their stepfather passed away of a massive heart attack. And this past March 13 of 2022 her mother passed away from cirrhosis of the liver and other complications I’m not sure of. So this left my two grandkids with no guardian. But my son is now 37 years old he has put the drug life behind him he has a good stable job and has been this way for about five years. We went to the courts and a plied for emergency custody only to be told that he signed his rights away 12 years ago and he is no longer considered their biological father. What the hell is this they said that because I was a complete stranger to these children they would not place them in my custody at this time . But yet they’re in foster care I just don’t understand !
Plz help !!!
Millie 12/10/2021 at 11:28 am
Please can you help my son n partner split she was bad on heavy drugs her parents have taken our grandaughter n won't let us have access my son has tried to take his own life now on medication.. but carnt get any help to see her they say they've got grandparents rights he is on birth certificate.. mother not interested is there anything we can do before this gets theyve even changed nursery without him been consented thankyou
Sharon21h 02/09/2021 at 6:46 am
I have 2 grandchildren who have been our lives for the past 10 years.. my son and there mother are separated and have been for 6 years.. its been a real roller coaster with her dictating when my son sees them. Changing her mind if it doesn't.t suit her. She has now blocked all our contact with her when they are with her and we only see them when they with our son, she won't allow them to ring us or message us.. this breaks my heart as I want them to be able to contact us anytime they want too, and we want them to knw they have grandparents who want to spend more time with them. She will poison them against us as she as done this to her own family..
Pat 10/08/2021 at 7:40 pm
I had my grandson and his girlfriend living with me when she got pregnant. I bought everything the baby ever needed his pram,cot,clothes, nappies and his milk I helped look after him and eventually doing everything for him that was for 3 years he is my life I gave him all the love he needed and I still do. My grandson and his girlfriend split and she left the baby here with his dad ,my daughter my grandsons mother took them to her house now she has an interim order for the baby she made his bedroom in a cupboard with no window and thinks this is OK.she has started ignoring us when we ask if we can have him for the day .he screams when we take him back or if they pick him up .
Diane 13/07/2021 at 7:13 pm
My grandson has lived with us since 2015 threw a residence order he is now 8yrs old and mum thinks it's best if he went to live with her now he is doing great at school and had no problems living with us so what's the chances of her getting custody back please can someone help here my heart is breaking he has also lived in our home since the day he was born so it's like bringing up your own thankyou to anyone who can enlighten me please
Granny33 20/02/2021 at 11:36 pm
Hi
Can anyone advise me .. I’m a grandmother who has custody of my grandchild .
My grandchild by order of court has a over night stay once a week and order states maternal grandparents return my grandchild .. the maternal grandmother has remarried is her partner classed as maternal grandparent .. I understood that maternal grandparents are the mothers parents .. so is new partner also classed as maternal to bring grandchild home or should it just be the child’s mother’s mother ..
So confused
Mummy 29/01/2021 at 10:40 am
So my daughters father isn’t on the birth certificate or anything he had a little bit of contact when she was born but that was it as he was abusive. My daughter was seeing her paternal grandparents at first sometimes but they always made me feel pressured to let her dad see her. I just ended up stopping the contact and now they’re saying they want to take me to court even though they constantly slag me off and I don’t want that around my daughter. My daughter is now 1 years old and hasn’t seen them for a couple of months now, do you actually have any rights to see her and if it went to court do I actually have to attend?
She 19/08/2020 at 12:09 pm
Is my granddaughter who I gave limited access to through the court due to breakdown of relationship with my daughter able to see me whenever she wants after the age of 16 ??
Angie 18/07/2020 at 1:01 am
My daughter she had a little girl when she was 17 years old the father's in jail for attempted murder and my granddaughters for she's going to be 5 and the mother is always out and about not working she gets EBT and food stamps and she pays me $200 for rent and $35 for the phone and the rest of the money which is almost $500 goes I don't know where she doesn't buy anything for her child or nothing of food stamps will make sure that her friends are taken care of before she buys anything for the house I'm taking care of my granddaughter by myself I buy her clothes and toys and I give her a good home I bring it to school I'll pick her up I take her to the doctors and everything today I went to the dentist to make an appointment and they told me that I need to have permission from the mother when I asked the mother to write me a letter she thinks I want to take the baby away from her and I told her no I just want to care for her I don't want you EBT I don't want your food stamps I just want to take care of the baby I want to make sure she goes to the doctor I want to make sure if in case of an emergency something that says that I can do this and she's not listen she doesn't care what do I do as a grandparent I need help to take care of this beautiful little girl I've been raising almost by myself
Jaz 08/07/2020 at 2:59 pm
Hello there,
I was 7 when my mother passed away, and 12 when my father walked out and wanted nothing to do with us, my mothers parents went through the courts and gained custody of me and my sister and have since lived with them.
My Nan said to me the other day that my father has never paid child support to them, not one penny.
I wanted to ask whether they have a legal right to that money? And how I go about dealing with it?
Any help is appreciated, thank you.
Gwenzo 22/05/2020 at 7:13 pm
Please advise!!
I have just shared my papers with the court and my ex solicitor to get access to my 4 month old son, firstly, she has lied so much and I believe I'm not allowed to take anything else to the court.
Secondly, she says she only wants me on my own to see my son for the first 6 weeks to build a bond and not my family! Surely my family HIS family are important too? Please help!
Mum 10/05/2020 at 1:24 pm
I want to write a hand written will stating that if I die before my children I would like my mum to be legal guardian of my son. He hasn’t seen his dad in over 2 years he’s only 4 but fathers on birth certificate. What can I do?
Craig 17/04/2020 at 1:21 pm
Hi, I have seperated from my wife and have had to go back and live with my mother.I have ask my ex to see my children and she has agreed only if I do not let then see my mother, which means asking my mother to leave the house when they come. Can my ex demand this?
Abs 12/04/2020 at 7:26 am
My son had a heated argument with husband and now my son has cut us off from seeing our grandchildren. We looked after our grandson from 6.30 to 5.30 twice a week every week so my son and his partner could go to work. My husband had a lovely relationship as did I with our grandson. We are heartbroken,I have tried texting every week but I get no reply, we live 6minutes from where my son lives but my son’s partner has been to our house maybe 5 times in 5yrs. Last February my husband and son had a terrible argument and both said terrible things to one another,after that I left it for a couple of weeks before asking if we could see our Grandchildren( our Grandaugter is 9months old and we have only seen her three times since she was born last July). My son’s reply was No! and that he didn’t think we we were stable? which is so out of order,we are great grandparents! This all came about from this argument and seemingly they won’t budge. I have sent presents for birthdays and Easter,I text my son every week to tell him how much we love him and his family, even giving my son money and yes he accepted it but he won’t let us see our Granchildren. I have tried saying that Grandchildren need both Maternal and Paternal Grandparents but the last message he sent me was devestating to me and my husband. My son said “L never asks after you”. It has cut us to pieces,when for two years we took care of him his son and his home,I cleaned washed and ironed for them and this is how we have been repaid.We have taken our Grandson son out every week never taken a penny even though it has cost us thousands £’s. I just cannot believe That my son has turned on us so Cruelly. We are Heartbroken!
Loo 04/03/2020 at 1:05 am
My ex daughter refuses contact of all kinds for us (grandparents) and their father there was a court order done for dad to see them every week end but one weekend we could not have them it upset the mother now she won’t let any of us see them we have called wrote letters to her but she is ignoring all can you help please
Clo1998 03/03/2020 at 8:31 pm
What rights does my baby’s dad have when it comes to my son? He’s not on the birth certificate and barely provides for him! When he was born he didn’t see him for 8 weeks. Also his family want to see him? Do I have to let them or can I refuse?
Mommy 19/02/2020 at 11:36 pm
Me an my husband have spilt but we am still friends an working things out for the boys an the house will live In with is mine an my husband.
The mothering law is saying that I am not stoping in this house as she owns 10% witch I did not know.
And she is also saying that she going to take my 3 beautiful boys off me can she do that
Jonsy 15/02/2020 at 10:58 am
My partner attacked me and I have stopped all contact with me and my daughter from him and all his family his mother can not be trusted to keep him away from us all I want to do is protect my daughter and myself does she have any rights to gain access to my daughter? What happens if I get a date for court through the post and I ignore it will I get in trouble for not attending?
Luke Chapman 27/01/2020 at 2:40 pm
So my in laws are controlling my partner theaten her with take our son off us if she doesn't leave me she being lied to n bullyed by them we were and amazing family safe home loveing our son with everything we have she that scared she listened to them won't let her bring my son my house or even let me have him because she scared of theats iv told her look it up we jst Wana b a family again how is they can do this n stop a loving father from being with his family n looking after them it been long hard Rd they even sent her away for 3months y do they think they have power break up family whn Al we do is love each other and our boy trying talk her into stop believing them n let them try because I no we win we are a safe n loving family just all messed up
Chris 18/01/2020 at 12:55 am
@ (sam ).There is no need for contact or court cases for visitation .because for the (millionth time I was born sterile) .i would like to say (stay away from me we have nothing to discuss ).the child is in your care and your partners care and I hope you have a amazing life together.on a (serous note) if I see you around my house you are going to (aggravate me ).i am going to ask you for once in your life to show me sum (respect please and respect my wishes and stay away from me forever( gods truth )I have seen in the past where you (respected every other guy expect me ).now all I am asking is for you to stay away from me forever please .and stop referring to me as your son you are nothing to me gods truth and the same with your child I swear this on the bible.if it makes you feel better you can say it’s the alcohol or disability I really don’t care gods truth .
C w laurie 17/01/2020 at 11:56 pm
This is two mother off my (uncles child) stop trying to (mould yourself) to me seriously .i don’t want contact either does my (mother or any off my family gods truth ).we are not taking you to (court) .this is (gods truth sam on the bible No games or lies or ill feelings )I was tested and I was born (sterile ).what don’t you (understand about that) ?.i have come to terms with you and got over the (hurt off you having affairs right under my nose) .i am in no (pain anymore) and just started dating a women .please remove my surname legally from your daughter .this my last post for real this time .
Hoppy 17/01/2020 at 10:37 pm
My son has lost contact with his daughter due to alcohol and abuse I wish to see my grandaughter but his partner wont let me . She said it would affect her emotionally so would affect her looking after my grandaughter. She has made accusations against me which are inaccurate. She says my grandaughter doesn't remember me which is probably true as I only saw her for the first year of her life she is now nearly two. I'm thinking of apply to the family court but dont know if I will stand a chance
Amd 12/01/2020 at 6:40 pm
I have had my grandchildren for 2 years now do i have any rights
Looby33 22/11/2019 at 7:06 pm
Hi I have raised my grandchild as much as her parents e.g every weekend plus added week days and she has been with me since she was born this amount of time,so much her school is on my road she was like my own she cries for me all the time and now my son and his girlfriend have split up and gone to her other grandparents who she had never met, they are now refusing any contact and I'm broken I cant sleep or eat, and until my son goes to court we feel helpless is there anything I can do..
Chriso 13/11/2019 at 2:57 am
@rach.if mother off child let my daughter come to my Auntys 60 birthday in feb .that be interesting it depends on my (mood) it could go ether way it depends on a lot off things and (people ).might be like the old days where all hell breaks lose women crying screaming kids upset cake gets knock over .my daughter thinking no wonder mum keeped me away from you .or I could (say nothing )and in joy my daughter company and watch her meet my side off the family .
Rach 13/11/2019 at 12:25 am
My ex husband (4 years) is begging me to let my 7 year old daughter see his mum. She has not seen her since my daughter was 2 and she went to prison for defrauding an old lady (with dementia and no family) out of all her money whilst taking out loans and credit cards in her name, whilst the lady was in her care at the residential home. She has been reckless in the past with her own children and I fear for my daughters safety if she got access.

Where do I stand? My daughter doesn’t remember her and I am not denying her anything by not allowing access as she has the rest of her grand parents plus my fiancée family and my ex husbands new family. She has oodles of love and care from us all.

He is adamant that I should let my daughter go to his mums 60th is January and I am so worried that he will just take her and something awful will happen.

Please help anyone! Any advice would be very welcome x
Crazy1 20/10/2019 at 12:10 pm
Hi my son had a child which he has never seen. I have been seeing and financialy supply the mother, and my grandson. Its all on her terms though, i dont get to see him when i want to, and when i do the mothers mum slags me off on social media. I dont see my son because of the break up, and was hoping to have a relationship with y grandson. I just feel very sad and used.
Sjp 14/09/2019 at 12:52 pm
My mother in law has always offered to look after my kids when IV been at work now I'm unreasonable using my kids as a weapon because I said I needed them home at 2 because we were at a party at 3 and she said they won't be back so obviously they couldn't go.
Now she's called me every name under the sun to my partner who has stuck up for me and now I'm turning the family against him. I'm so annoyed and can afford childcare IV never used it because she has always offered I feel like I want to use a child minder now because she's so vile and horrible to me but is that fair?
Bradley 05/09/2019 at 3:34 pm
I have just removed my children from their mothers care as she is not mentally fit to look after them. Was just wondering if when I'm at work. My mum looks after them for me. Could the mum legally go round and take the children back. Do I have to physically need to be there to stop her with my pr rights.
Becca 04/08/2019 at 8:20 am
I haven't stopped my boyfriend's mum or sister from seeing there granddaughter and niece they have taken it upon them selves to not want to be involved but his sister wants to go through a contact centre and his mum wants a copy of her birth certificate can I refuse these if so what do I do please I'm a first time mum and really scared there Gunna take my child away from me
Queenofscotts 19/07/2019 at 3:04 pm
Hi I'm looking for some advice, my ex has no contact ruled by the court to our son, due to the severe level of physical and psychological abuse I suffered from him. Now I am being taken to court for his parents to apply for access to see him. They were only in his life for a matter of weeks. My son is now 5 and was a baby when they met. There has been no contact since and he has no memory of them. Im scared this is just another way of controlling me and my son. What is the likely hood of a court allowing them access considering what I have mentioned above.

Thank you
Geoff 05/07/2019 at 3:44 pm
Hello. My wife has committed adultery and moved out of the marital home. Can i allow my daughter, son in law and grandchildren to move into the marital home with me. And can the wife then force me to sell the home
Lynnwilson17 29/06/2019 at 2:48 pm
I need some advice.my son 18yrs old and his gf 17yrs old,she is 31weeks pregnant, my family are 100% supportive,her family very much not,due to her age,things shes said,always seeking attention through lies,her total attitude to her pregnancy her midwife referred her to soc serv,i had a home visit lastweek from soc services there happy with my situation,baby living ere with mother after shes born obviously more visits will follow, i have my concerns about after the babys born i.m struggling to even imagine her even wanting to be a mum,theres no maternal instint there at all,no excitement,its all about her, shes never lived with her mum, she spends most weeks aguing with her dad and his wife, shes always seeking his approval, theres a lot of background there but not sure wat,soc services are looking into that as the babys mum refused to speak about anything relating to her fam while i was in the room, As the babys paternal grandmother were do i stand as for caring for baby once shes born ? If mum did decide to leave my home with baby,then baby would be a protection order put in place as they don.t think mum is mentally ready for a baby,my son is ready hes doing everything shes supposed to be doing,i just don.t no wat to do, i just can.t sit back and watch her use my grandchild as a tool to get attention from her family or not do anything at all.
Hayley 22/05/2019 at 7:47 pm
Hello,
I have a 15 month old baby and a happy and healthy life with my partner and his mum who lives with us. My mum and me however are no longer on talking terms, she is now threatening to take me to court to gain access to seeing my son, can she do this?
I do not believe she is mentally safe for my son to be around, after telling me at one point to just tell me to tell my son (who was 13months old at the time) that she died while he was a baby!
I’m worried she’ll take us to court and get access that we do not want her having to him.
Kim 05/03/2019 at 12:35 pm
Hi my daughter is only 3 years old, anyway my daughters biological father hurt her when she was a baby and cannot have unsupervised contact , besides that his dad and step mum took me to court for a contact order to see her every 2 weeks for 24 hours anyway to the point I’m wanting to move and I will be moving to Scotland and im just wondering what will happend I don’t want them to know as yet that I’m moving because they will cause me a lot of trouble and don’t want that.
Mandy 05/02/2019 at 6:52 pm
Hi my daughter is nearly 18 and she made decision she don't want see certain family members, well my dad says he taking me to court to see his gran daughter who he hasn't seen in nearly 3 years ,and he said his ex wife has right to see my daughter even tho they divorced ,and she was only my step mum and my daughter don't want see her either but he now ignoring my texts and his gran daughter's texts about going see him and my step sister says she wants see my daughter now too when she nothing but trouble
Grumppa 18/10/2018 at 2:42 pm
My daughter and her boyfriend have 2 boys under the age of 5 , they have now split up.
My daughter has both boys he is living with an "ex junky" he won't say exactly where he is living to socal security he tells them he lives at his mums house which he isnt he is bared from my daughters house because of abusive language in front if the kids to her, on visiting days to him i take the boys to him and collect the kids which is at his mothers house and he is never there when i arrive ive even passed him comming from his new girlfriends house.
Now he has said he wants socialworker to visit my house as the kids sometimes visit with the wife and i .
I also drive the kids to and from school each morning niether him or my daughter have a car
I dont want socialworker at my house its not for them to judge me or my wife or house but he is dragging us into thier breakup this has all started since he was told he has to pay maintanance for the boys as he wasnt doing so before and he has asked for specific days and overnights so he doesn't have to pay the full payment prior to he didnt arrive to pick up the boys on the day and time arranged no appoligy from him when we rang him he just said he was busy
Kaz 29/09/2018 at 12:09 pm
My daughter in law has a lot of emotional problems and struggles with life in general, she married my son 10 months ago they have two beautiful little children together though 8dsys after their wedding she became emotionally unwell and left the children with me and left not even telling my son. We frantically searched for her then when finally finding her via instagram photos she posted got her into the mental health ward for help, she then checked herself out and left again but created a lot og heart ache for her little children and my son. He had to leave work for a few months to care for his children and they all lived with my husband and I untill she decided she wanted help, she has been to Mum's and Bubs clinic a while ago and we thought she was coping much better and they tried married life again but within a few weeks she had taken off again this time with the children and has been seeing another man. In that time she has moved the children from place to place and creating hell for my son, she has tried to take her own life a few years ago and constantly comes out with totally unreasonable behaviour and blames whom ever she wants to hurt including her own grandparents who cared for her all her life. She's been using the children as leverage to get her own way and has now denied everyone in both families access to
the children and makes it difficult for their father. I'm worried for my grandchildren as the oldest aged just 3 is now very angry all the time. My son is happy to co parent with her but she changes her mind almost daily on what he can and can't do. My son has a home and a good job and a great support network with our family but she won't let him take the children to see the family and their cousins whom they adore.
At a loss as to what to do.
SeparatedDads Editor 21/09/2018 at 9:46 am
The grandparent has no 'legal' right to stop access, but she can make things difficult if the other parent of your child gives her permission to do so. whichshould tell you all you need to know regarding what you have to do to take the matter further.
Dee 20/09/2018 at 11:11 am
Hi just looking for some advice or help please? Me and my partner broke up last year we have a court order in place and both have parental responsibility of our child we have had a few ups and downs and arguments. Now the parental grandmother is denying me access to see my child does she have a right to denie contact with our child?
Davo 21/08/2018 at 7:13 am
Hi me and my partner split up 5 years ago due to his constant cheating. I had a boy age5 and girl 10 weeks old. They have not had contact with their grandad for 4 years. Their dad hasnt been seen for 9 months although i did get a tx saying happy birthday to the kids. He does not pay for them. All of a sudden i have a call from grandad asking to see kids. They do not know him and he is a stranger to them. Im not a nasty person and dont want to hurt anyone. What do i do.
SeparatedDads Editor 17/08/2018 at 12:23 pm
Your partner's parents may be able to apply to court for access. We cannot predict what a court may decide.
Flo x 17/08/2018 at 10:42 am
My partners family have caused nothing but arguements. He doesn’t speak to them.
They have in the past gone up to 8 weeks without seeing our child. The last few weeks the mother started making an effort when it suited her. Now after a big argument my partner has made it clear he doesn’t want our baby seeing them.
Can they get visitation if it went to court? Even if both parents have denied them access?
They defiantly to me do not have a close relationship with our baby and I feel after threats of them saying they are going to make sure she knows everything when she grows up could potentionally mentally hurt her.
Niko 11/08/2018 at 5:26 am
I had my youngest 2 children when I was 18 and 19. I split up from their Dad when I was 22. I had nothing but built up my life getting a good job then met my now husband.
We built a life together taking the children on holiday and including them in everything we did. His family included them as their own. However in the back ground my ex and his family were always there making things difficult but my husband always put them to one side and carried on. We then had a son of our own. My first two adore him but with a baby comes change and my daughter found it hard and moved in with her Dad. This devastated me. But we worked through it. Then I found out she had moved in with her Dad's mum because he was never there and things had gone bad. No one ever told me it was my daughter that eventually told me things. Now my Son who has been fine has started playing up so I tried to ground him and take his computer controllers away. He went to his Dad's Mum's and has not come back. She said it is so bad in my house why would he? His Auntie and Uncle also brought him to my home when I was out and a window was open so assisted in him getting in and taking all his belongings. Clothes, computer, monitor and bike. What can I do?
SeparatedDads Editor 10/08/2018 at 1:34 pm
If your ex is the father of your child and you refuse to register him on the birth certificate and/or deny access and refuse to attend mediation then he would have the option to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order
Abr1893 07/08/2018 at 4:30 pm
Hi. Abit of backstory. I'm currently pregnant by my abusive ex. Ever since finding out I have been told I must get an abortion, I'll be on my own if I keep it etc, my question however is regarding contact. When I told my partner he shoved me to the floor and told me id done it to trap him. I ended up in the hospital for 3 days. He's had charges filed but I dropped them. I want to know what legal right his family have to my child. They called me names. Blamed me for the abuse and deny his drug And alcohol problems. I don't want them to poison my baby like they did to my ex. I'm terrified by that happening. Do I have to allow access even supervised? Thanks
Na 29/07/2018 at 5:39 pm
Can I deny my partners parents Fromm having our child overnight? As I feel seeing her once a week isn’t enough plus they’ve not had her during the day before. Also the 3 people who live in the house she only ever sees one of them. Can I also be taken to court if they have spoke to me very rudely and threatened to tell my daughter when she’s older that I’ve stopped them from seeing her when I’ve gave them every opputunity too and have messages to prove yet. Yet they are even uploading photos of her on social media that I can’t see and are continuing to do so.
Mummy24 17/07/2018 at 3:58 pm
Hi im looking for some advice my partners mam started giving us abuse after abuse to her son and then started with me so i stopped her seeing my children after a while of it and now she hasnt even asked about them or seen them in over 2 months and now shes threathing me with court? Whats the chances she will get access?
Beth 29/06/2018 at 5:29 pm
Can I get a no contact order against my daughter's paternal grandmother of she is causing hostile tendencies in my child and has her a round men who do drugs?
Cheese 21/06/2018 at 9:29 pm
Hi there,
I do not wish for my mother to have any part in my sons life. This is a viewpoint shared by my partner, father, sister and my partners family. There are many reasons to this including the fact she's never made effort to be in his life, trouble she has caused me and my partner and malicious lies she has made.

My son is 19 months old and she has not been involved at all in his life.

I came home to find a letter that she had filed for mediation. I greed to mediation and will state all mentioned above. What are her chances of getting this to court? Really worried about finances

Thank you
Danielle 12/06/2018 at 9:34 pm
Can my ex partners mother take me to court to gain access for her and her son. I have had a history of violnece with him and he has issues with drugs and he did go to jail. Since then he seemed to straighten himself out so I gave him access again then I found out he had driven with my daughter in the car under the influence of drugs and he has continued to send nasty messages and threatening messages. His mother has only been in my daughter's life stable for a few months over a year ago but gas previously walked out and chose to not see her for 2 years then again 8 months this year. I've always shielded my daughter from the truth but I'm frightened of he gains access what will happen
D 08/06/2018 at 7:54 pm
Hi I’m looking for some advice ... I have never had a good relationship with my parents I have 2 kids 3/4 and they see my parents when they can be bothered... my sister got married and we was told I wasn’t aloud and there were no kids going we later found out there were a lot of kids there so it was just my children that was singled out.. I put a stop to my parents seeing the kids but my partner persuaded me to give them another chance and let them see the kids again .. I agreed with the conditions my sister doesn’t go near them ... long story short my mum has been letting my sister see the kids and getting the kids to lie to me and their mum ... after telling her again she would not be aloud to see them she has rung the police on me and lied and now I have to go to a children’s centre and prove I’m a good dad... what steps can I take to make my parents stay away from us legally because they won’t leave me and my family alone ... thanks
Chippy 28/05/2018 at 7:36 pm
I told my daughter in law in convasation that I had found a syringe down the side of my sofa and that it was possible that it had fallen out of my estranged husbands pocket, he is a body builder as is my son who is married to her whom she is currently devoirce him for adultry . Because of what I said she has asked her solicitor to state on her devoirce that there grandma my husband can have no contact with them and if he does she will stop my son having contact. There was no srying ever I made it up during this conversation about body building because I was very bitter and hurt by my ex husband would have never dreamed that this small lie could devastate our lives like this . There was only myself and my daughter in law present during this conversation and I have since tried to talk to her and told her I was lying but she won't listen . Please help I am going with my son to see solicitor to tell him I was lying .
SeparatedDads Editor 27/04/2018 at 3:00 pm
You can stop your ex seeing his child and your child not seeing his parents. However, your ex will be allowed to apply to court to challenge your decision if you do not agree to mediation. Once this happens the decision will be taken out of your hands and the court will decide what it judges is in your child's best interests. Once an order is put into place by the court, you would have to keep to it. Therefore, trying to resolve any issues you have outside court is the best option.
Nm 26/04/2018 at 11:00 pm
Hi i have recently been divorced by a horrible man. Hes never physically done anything to me but he disturbed me emotionally and mentally and my baby who is 2 years old has always been present.. even though he loves his dad i do feel its better if he doesnt see him due to my ex husbands nature i dont want my son to ever get affected or influenced by him.
Another issue is that my ex has moved in with his parents. They are also very horrible negative people. There contact with my son was very minimal as it is and im afraid if my son does see his dad he would take him there.
I am very worried about my sons welfare so i wanted to know do i have rights to stop him seeing his dad and grandparents.
SeparatedDads Editor 05/04/2018 at 12:44 pm
An individual must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad
Sugersuger 03/04/2018 at 9:13 pm
Could my sons ex girlfriend take our grandchild out of the country without my sons consent. Is name is on the burth certificate
SeparatedDads Editor 20/03/2018 at 10:13 am
You do not have any rights as a grandparent. However, your son can either suggest mediation and/or apply for access to his child through the courts. As mentioned in the article, if you want to request access yourself, you can try approaching her directly and negotiating access, or through mediation, but there’s no guarantee it would work.
Ellie 19/03/2018 at 5:46 pm
My son's girlfriend ditched my son once she was pregnant. She has not named him on birth certificate. He has other Children by another partner. I as a grandmother want access to the baby so it can keep contact with half brothers. Do I have any rights as a grandparent.
SeparatedDads Editor 05/02/2018 at 3:23 pm
You would have apply for a residency order through the courts.
Boo. Boo 02/02/2018 at 1:54 pm
Hi please advise me I have had my granddaughter since she was 6 months old she is now 10 her parents have contact but she has been with me and her grandad for 10 years and does not what to be with her parents I don’t get any money for her we just adore her she is our life can you tell me how I can get potential rights to her.
JD 01/01/2018 at 5:56 pm
Hi,

I am coming to my final hearing at the end of the month and wanted some advice, my x partner is planing on living with my mother and father in law with our children, the mother in law is extremley volatile and consumes alot of alchohol, as a dad would i be able to stop my x partner residing with my mother in law with the children and what would the judges view be on this.
SeparatedDads Editor 21/12/2017 at 12:07 pm
There is no law to define this. Any issues raised would have to be either sorted between both parents or via mediation.
GP 20/12/2017 at 3:22 pm
What if parents have split up , one parent doesn’t want grandparents involved but the other does ?
SeparatedDads Editor 14/12/2017 at 12:38 pm
If you attempt to see the children without the parent's consent, then your grandchildren's mother could get a restraining order against you (if you have already had a complaint made about you). If you have been consistent in your granchildren's lives to date, then you may have a case to take the matter to court for access. However, you may have to seek legal advice in order to explore your options.
Phyl 13/12/2017 at 1:36 pm
I tried to see my grandchildren when they left school but wasn't allowed by the mothers new man. The mother got the police to come to my house and tell me I wasn't allowed at the school or their home. What happens now if I try and see them away from those places?
Kerry 21/11/2017 at 7:45 am
Hi my son and girlfriend have split up he taken this hard and turned to taking all he's at depresent and jumped out of there flat window. The ex has now told us social severives have stop him seeing him and the rear of he's family me dad and brother we not been told this any advise please its breaking our hearts
SeparatedDads Editor 07/11/2017 at 3:42 pm
I am very sorry to hear this. If you previously had a good relationship with your grandchildren, then you may be able to apply to take the matter to court. You would need to seek legal advice. Once after the initial legal advice, if you cannot afford the hefty legal fees of having a solicitor to represent you in court, you can represent yourself.
RS14 03/11/2017 at 10:01 pm
I'd like some advice please, my daughter sadly passed away and has left 3 children under the age of 10 in the care of their biological father. His parents look after the children and we don't have any form of regular contact. Not only have we lost our daughter but it feels like we've lost our grandchildren too. Our son in law is unreasonable and unapproachable and therefore I would like to know what I would need to do to gain regular access to see our grandchildren. Mediation is not an option as their dad wants nothing to do with us. Please advise.
Pam 26/10/2017 at 7:49 pm
My daughter won’t let us see our granddaughters, no contact since July even though we used to have them every weekend for a sleepover!
She has even deleted us from her phone
She says I’m unstable because I once said I feel like taking a over dose after she had yet again reduced me to tears & I wasn’t feeling well
I don’t think she would turn up for mediation so what can I do?
Ronnie 23/09/2017 at 4:14 pm
@Jan361. I'm in the same boat I'm terrified my son been there with them both, he just got a court order that my ex has him at his mums 4 days fortnightly, my son hates his grandmother, my son is 11 and said to him and put a boundary in place that if he has daniel and he is going out and he can't go with him that he is not left with his grandmother and wants to be returned home to me. Ronnie
SeparatedDads Editor 04/09/2017 at 12:10 pm
As the parent with parental responsibility, you are deemed responsible for deciding what you think is in your children's best interests when making decisions regarding their welfare. However, if your children's mother disagrees with the arrangement, she can also keep the children without your consent (unless a court order in in place that specifies you as the resident parent). Any new arrangement, in theory is always best when mutually discussed and agreed to.
Vic 03/09/2017 at 8:38 pm
After a long 6 motnhs I am finally attending court tomorrow for the custody of the child.
Unfortunately, I will be representing myself. I do not have a legal background and I will be facing the court and her lawyers being English not my firts language. Tomorrow is supose to be about trying to reach a deal however I cannot see this happening. Not to mention the outrageous report from cafscass that has not undrstand anything in my case and I am being questioned for eveything and anything even against medical advise in my favour has somehow overturn against me.
This is painful, very painful.
Can anyone advise for tomorrow's hearing?
I am currently enjoy access to the family home (I am a co-owner) after undertakings. Tuesdays and Thursdays while the mother ha to move out. Now the mother seeks for this to stop. Cafcass recommends evry other weekend and wednesdays overnight stays, as long as a secure a property for me and the child (currently living in a shared house where I cannot bring the child). Unfortunately and due to the expenses in lawyers, it is not feasable for me to rent. Hence, doeas anyone knows what could happended? can the court stop tomorrow the current arangement before going to trial?
Your quick reponse would be much appreciated. Sorry about the short notice, but I have been trying to access te forum for days and it just says the link does not works,
Please help
Thanks very much in advance
A desperate daddy whos child love him very much.
Vic
Rocket17 03/09/2017 at 9:52 am
Can I leave my kids with my dad and get in a plane and go work abroad.

And allow grandad to take kids to mums without it been a crime they live with me but becoming to much as no help
SeparatedDads Editor 04/08/2017 at 12:43 pm
Unfortunately, we cannot really answer this question as the court does not see it in such black-and-white terms. All will depend upon the circumstances surrounding the case and what the judge rules to be in your children's best interests.
Ross Ollie 04/08/2017 at 4:40 am
Can my ex mother in law have permission to see my children if I am pressing charges on her for assault on myself in front of my 2 and half year old child?
SeparatedDads Editor 10/07/2017 at 3:26 pm
I'm afraid we cannot predict what a court may decide. I imagine they haven't been diagnosed through the doctor with NPD and this is an assumption on your part? I can only suggest you seek legal advice as much depends upon the circumstances surrounding the case.
Jan361 10/07/2017 at 2:34 am
I have received a letter from the paternal grandmothers lawyer asking for contact to my kids 8,7 and 5. She hasn't saw them in 6 years and kicked us out of her house. Hasn't met my youngest daughter at all with occasion visits with the older 2. Her son was abusive to me and has been charged with domestic violence. They both have NPD and I'm very worried about them being allowed access to my kids. What are her chances in court ?
Nadda Editor 10/07/2017 at 4:17 pm
@cara56 - you would just have to keep saying no. The problem is if you b/f changes his mind. If you register your b/f as the dad then he will have rights. But if his dad is what you say then I'm sure your b/f will feel the same.
Cara56 07/07/2017 at 4:55 pm
Hi, I'm looking for some advice and wondered whether anyone would be able to help me. My boyfriend and I are talking about trying to conceive at the moment, I desperatly want to have a baby with him however there is one thing that makes me feel sick. I want to ensure that my boyfriends dad would never never ever be able to have access to my child. He has a history of beating several women including my boyfriends mum, and is a manipulative and mentally unstable person in general. My boyfriend supports that our child won't see him but I also know that at the end of the day it's my boyfriends dad and he could ultimately change his mind at any minute about giving his dad access. This scares me so much that I genuinely don't want to have a baby if my boyfriends dad can get to it, he leaves me terrified but my boyfriend will never fully cut him off. If anyone has any experience in this matter at all that would be great
EDM Editor 12/06/2017 at 12:47 pm
@Cc - tricky if you have no name to go on. You could trace her name by ordering your ex's full birth certificate. Liz
Cc 10/06/2017 at 11:09 am
Please help. I had a little boy in 2009 and my partner left us. I have no contact as he changed his number and moved back to Scotland. He doesn't want anything to do with our son. I didn't meet his mum and I am not sure she even knows about him. I have been trying to trace her for years but I don't even know her name. I think she has a right to know about her grandson and my son needs to know about his paternal family. Any suggestions on how to find her for free
Moggs 09/05/2017 at 6:23 pm
We have an sgo in place for our granddaughter we are the paternal grandparents. My son was only 21 when his girlfriend got pregnant and said he wouldn't be able to cope bringing her up. His girlfriend and been in foster care, (so had her 2 siblings) from the age of 11 till she returned to her family home at the age of 16. This was due to her parents drug and alcohol abuse. Which they say they no longer do. Both sets of grandparents went through the twin tracking system the maternal grandparents fell at the first hurdle, but we were successful we then passed the foster panel. Then court we have had the sgo for 2 1/2 yrs but all the while having harassment from my granddaughters mother and other maternal family members. All of a sudden we have received a letter through the post from their solicitors saying they are going for contact through their grandparents rights. They have also been told they will win!! Will they get legal aid? As they are not working. And where do we stand in having to give them access. Their son has just had a baby and apparently they have been deemed OK by the social to have him! Although we were advised by our social worker that our grand daughter should have see any other family member other than her mum. We are at the point where contact with mum is stopping because it is not in our granddaughters wellbeing she see her anymore. We are at the end if out tether.
.
Granny1 09/04/2017 at 11:45 pm
@gramma's monkey if your step son is going through criminal courts it will depend on the outcome of that case.
The mother will use it to her advantage if it all goes pair shape for him sadly that's what these women do.
Caffcass is useless my grandson is now 18 months old and I've never met him although I've never been horrible send presents to him and the mother on birthdays etc.
My heart breaks every day that passes.
I pray that some how I get to meet him and he gets to know his family on his dads side we have gone through courts etc and now I'm having to go through as a grandparent for exactly the same reason as yourself. I just don't get why they take it out on the kids we have so much love to give him but are not allowed. I wish I had someone to help me get her to see sense she's only hurting her child in the long run. Good luck with the other case I pray it goes well for him.
DS Editor 06/04/2017 at 1:38 pm
@Daner7 - Good on you for fighting the good fight. Thankfully at least court orders can be enforced. Diane.
Daner7 06/04/2017 at 12:38 am
I do know from experience, I've been thru a lot of this and if one of the parents is deceased or incarcerated the grandparents can seek custody or visitation of the kids and if the parents are divorced then the grandparents can seek visitation...doesn't mean they will definitely get it but a grandparent is gonna have to fight and divorced dads need to fight if the ex -wife is keeping the kids away for no reason...ex-wives become very bitter and hateful especially when they meet some one new...you got to fight for your kids and sometimes it's a battle but the outcome is definitely worth it...don't be afraid to fight for what you believe in...
Daner7 06/04/2017 at 12:30 am
@Sausage...that's the kind of grandparent that makes it hard on the rest of us, I think I would just ignore her, it's wrong for her try to push her way around and demand this and demand that...let her yell all she wants..it's hard for a grandparent to get visitation and she is the kind that definitely would not get visitation...
Daner7 06/04/2017 at 12:20 am
@Matt, I agree, ignore the court order if you don't feel safe at your parents home, your grandparents can to go to court and get an emergency order, they need to take it to court. Good luck to you...
Daner7 06/04/2017 at 12:12 am
I'm a paternal grandparent that has raised the kids all of their lives, mother (she's a drug addict who trying to make the court believe that she is all better), steps back in and then says I can't see the kids, you wanna bet, I did win visitation but she still harrasses me,if after you win visitation and she still won't let you see the kids then get her for contempt of court, no matter how many times, you go to court and you fight for your grandchildren, my grandson didn't even know his mother and was thrown into a situation he wants out of, if the parents are doing ok then that's fine but more and more grandparents are having to raise the grandkids because of the parents drug addiction and it isn't fair to the child to cut them off from all that is familiar and all they have known. If my grandson was happy with his situation and doing good then that would be fine but I say to all of the grandparents out there - fight for your grandkids, they are depending on us to be there for them- to all of the parents out there that keep the grandparents away - shame on you, your just selfish and bitter and you are just using your kids to get what you want, you're creating a generation of kids that are lost and confused, I don't expect you to agree with me but that's the sad truth.
Spin 13/03/2017 at 1:31 pm
Thank you so much for your kind reply Linds it really is appreciated. i just hate the thought that my kids may have to go to court or mediation or whatever the process is to even give their thoughts, it's such a horrible situation of her to put them in. I was thinking of seeking legal advice of some sort but maybe I don't need to if she can't legally force the kids to see her. Thank you again for your kind words. (0:
Linds Editor 13/03/2017 at 11:50 am
@Spin- you are under no obligation to allow this woman to see your kids. If she wants to take you to court let her. If your kids are teenagers they will be allowed their say regarding whether they wish to see her or not. I'd ignore her - tell her it's up to your kids and not you any more. If people like this think they have got a hold on you - then they will make your life a misery. I think I'd just let her do her worst and try to ignore it
Spin 12/03/2017 at 11:54 am
I could really do with some advice please.
My relationship with my mother has never been good. She was never there for me as a child leaving me to look after my 5yr old sister alone all night from the age of 12. Bringing a violent man into the home. Pretending she had serious illness (which she did not). Putting her debts in my name so I had bailiffs threatening to remove things from my home etc etc I could go on all day. The result is that I myself recently became ill & can no longer cope with her behavior & the demands she puts on me & her constant lying. I am no longer in contact with her. I have allowed her to see my 3 kids however but this is becoming very hard. If I cannot meet her request to have them because of other commitments two of my kids are teenagers & have social lives of their own. She sends me horrible emails threatening to take me to court. She is demanding more & more visits that i comply with as I'm terrified of what she will do, my kids don't really want to see her as much as she demands. She has a past history of taking an ex boyfriend to court & she goes around contacting their friends & family & work colleagues saying awful things so I'm living in fear of what she'll do to me. Please can you advise what I can do if anything to stop all this, it's making me very ill. Thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 27/02/2017 at 12:51 pm
I think in this case you should take each day as it comes and use your judgement as the situation develops. Your baby is very young, so this will not affect either of the children just yet. When the time comes that you think you have to make some decisions, mediation might be a way forward if the matter remains unresolved.
Sausage 26/02/2017 at 7:06 pm
Hi me and my mother do not get on nowadays but i have kept letting her see my 9 year old daughter as she has always been in her life. I have recently had my second baby daughter with my new partner who my mother hates, so she has chosen to not acknowledge or welcome into this world. I fear this is going to cause trouble for my two daughters relationship as they grow up......what shall i do?
Claire 25/02/2017 at 8:43 am
I am having issues with my MIL I have never stopped her seeing my daughter (now 11months old) however from my daughter being 2 weeks old she keeps on causing massive arguments everytime she wants her and I say no .. long story short my daughter is 11 months old and in total they have not seen her for at least 6 months of her life due to deciding not to contact or come see her due to them not liking me for saying no and them not getting there own way. I am still not to this day saying they cannot see her just that it is on mine and my partners terms however they are not interested in seeing her unless i'm not there or they have it there way. She is threatening with solicitors yet I have never stopped her seeing my daughter she just decides to stay away for months on end when she gets told NO .. She did'nt even see my daughter Christmas day as we where having our first Christmas together at home and all the family came to us yet she wanted us to go to her and because we didn't my daughter did'nt get her presents and she has not seen her for 2 months .. She is now back in touch threatening with solicitors AGAIN .. Advice please and legally does she have any argument as I have'nt stopped her seeing my daughter its her that decides to cut contact and stay away for months and my daughter does'nt even know her.
JI89 Editor 27/02/2017 at 2:54 pm
@Matt - ignore the court order if you feel you are under threat living at your parents. Your grandparents may be able to take the matter to court to have the order overturned. James.
Matt 25/02/2017 at 1:14 am
HI MY NAME IS MATT AND BASICALLY IVE BEEN LIVING WITH MY GRANDPARENTS FOR NEARLY 2 MONTHS BECAUSE MY PARENTS WOULD GO OUT AND DRINK LEAVING ME AND MY SISTER TO LOOK AFTER MY BABY BROTHER BUT ONCE MY PARENTS WOULD COME BACK THEY WOULD BE TOTALLY DRUNK AND ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME AND MY SISTER AND ABUSE US SO I TOLD SOCIAL SERVICES AND THEY SAID IM OLD ENOUGH TO STAY AT MY GRANDPARENTS HOUSE BECAUSE IM OLD ENOUGH TO SAY WHOM IM SAFE WITH AND WHERE I WANT TO STAY. BUT MY DAD GOT A COURTCASE WHICH SAYS I MUST GO BACK TO MY PARENTS HOUSE BUT SOCIAL SERVICES SAID NO ONE CAN FORCE YOU NOT EVEN THE POLICE. BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT THE COURT ORDER?
SeparatedDads Editor 20/01/2017 at 1:01 pm
I assumed that if your ex sees your son, and lives under their roof then the grandparents would invariably also have contact and as your ex has PR, so he also has the right to have a say in who sees your son. Your only recourse would be either to discuss this with your ex, and if he refuses, then approach the matter either through mediation, or through the courts via a Specific Issue Order.
LouLou 19/01/2017 at 9:04 pm
Thank you for your response, but I didn't have a problem with my ex seeing my son as he is is his father, just my in laws at the moment he sees them when they can be bothered and i'm always there to stop them smoking around him and kept him safe ish. LouLou - Your Question: After weighing up all the pros and cons I am considering splitting from my husband as I no longer feel we have a marriage. My in laws and the way they treat me and my son is part of the issue. I would ideally like to stop them from seeing my son as they put him down, compare him to their precious granddaughter, Over the last 2 years they have seen him for about an hour twice a month, put off seeing him as she has to hoover, shop, see their granddaughter etc. My son has some issues, has to have medication twice a day which they are always asking me what its for, they don't listen. He has some learning issues so doesn't need putting down etc. She smokes near him and never listens to me when I say move away. Basically, she never listens to me and I am 100% sure seeing them would not be in my sons best interests. My question is can I stop them from seeing him? if my husband moves out he will probably end up staying at his parents due to money, can I stop my son staying there with my husband? Can I stop my husband taking my son there whe he has him? Thanks Our Response: You can stop your ex and his parents from seeing your child. However, as he has parental responsibility he will be allowed to take the matter to court and it will be up to the court, not you to decide what it thinks is in your son's best interests. If you cannot give a valid/provable reason why your ex and his parents should not see your son, then it is likely access will be granted and if a court order is put in place you will have to adhere to it. Mediation is another route you could suggest if you and your husband cannot come to a mutual decision about the access of your son. SeparatedDads - 16-Jan-17 @ 2:34 PM
LouLou 15/01/2017 at 9:59 pm
After weighing up all the pros and cons I am considering splitting from my husband as I no longer feel we have a marriage. My in laws and the way they treat me and my son is part of the issue. I would ideally like to stop them from seeing my son as they put him down, compare him to their precious granddaughter, Over the last 2 years they have seen him for about an hour twice a month, put off seeing him as she has to hoover, shop, see their granddaughter etc. My son has some issues, has to have medication twice a day which they are always asking me what its for, they don't listen. He has some learning issues so doesn't need putting down etc. She smokes near him and never listens to me when I say move away. Basically, she never listens to me and I am 100% sure seeing them would not be in my sons best interests. My question is can i stop them from seeing him? if my husband moves out he will probably end up staying at his parents due to money, can i stop my son staying there with my husband? Can i stop my husband taking my son there whe he has him?
Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 03/01/2017 at 12:25 pm
I'm afraid we can offer no further advice than that contained within the article, except to suggest you seek legal advice. What will go in your favour is the fact you have played an integral part in your granchildren's lives - but still much depends upon the lengths your former daughter-in-law will go to, to try and prevent you having access.
brewy 02/01/2017 at 5:32 pm
My son and daughter in law have split up 10mnths ago there is no going back for them so eventuLly they will ddivorce. I have looked after my 2 grandsons 3 times a week for 10years for the oldest and three years for youngest but last week she decided to stop me and my husband from having them, no reason given what can I do about this...
SeparatedDads Editor 12/12/2016 at 1:51 pm
You can make any decision you wish, if you feel it is in your daughter's best interests.
Michm 11/12/2016 at 7:44 pm
My daughters gran (daughters fathers mum) hasn't bothered with my daughter in 5 months. Am i right in saying no? After so many chances she ends up not bothering Again each time. And i don't want my Daughter having part time family. In 5 months no text or call to see how she is. No visits to see her.
Can i stop her seeing her granddaughter?
SeparatedDads Editor 28/11/2016 at 12:12 pm
It is very difficult to prediict what a court may decide. However, a court will always want the issue to be sorted out via mediation first. So, it may be that the grandmother may apply to court and court may recommend mediation again, especially she let the process down in the first place and you were willing to negotiate via this process. It may be worth seeking some legal advice in order to explore your best options.
Jim 27/11/2016 at 12:33 pm
My wife died several years ago and I have two children that live with me and my new partner. I now live a fair distance from the children's grandmother (mother's mother) and we have fallen out over several issues recently. She also has never accepted my move away or my new partner and has had ongoing issues about this that she's been unwilling to discuss. I stopped her seeing the children following a significant argument in front of them that she started which was wholly inappropriate. I asked us to sort out the issues and then continue contact but she never replied until 6 weeks later when I was asked to go to mediation. I did and then offered to attend the joint session which she also said she wanted to attend only for her to then back out completely. She's now dictating an informal contact arrangement which is not reasonable or says she'll take me to court for a contact order. My life is very busy and complex and a formal contact order will not ultimately work for me or my children at all. I also don't want to put the children through yet another very stressful situation and they have both voiced that they just want us to sort out the issues and go back to how it was before. I've offered this to her in the past but she's unwilling. If she does go to court I'd resist any contact order at all as I don't think it would work or be in the children's best interest but would she be likely to succeed to get one?
Don 24/11/2016 at 6:16 pm
My son is registered on my grandsons birth certificate but my son died several years ago. My son never married his partner at the time but now she has recently married and has another child to her new husband. She has now changed my grandsons name to her new married name without consulting me. As the grandmother of my sons son and being next of kin on my sons behalf, do I have any rights? Is she allowed to do this without asking me? Please advise, thanks
Closey 19/11/2016 at 1:38 pm
Can i stop my kids from seeing their grandparents and what action would i have to take to stop them seeing my children
Declansmummy 13/11/2016 at 7:16 am
My son lives with perternal grandma I'm supposed yo have access through her bit her and my ex -child's father tell me my son dosnt need me, he's five years old they have stopped me seeing him for 2years. I have taken them to court 3 times and the courts are happy for me to see my boy but every time I had tried to sort it they denied me what can. I do I hate the thought of my boy growing up not knowing who I am

Someone please help me
SeparatedDads Editor 10/11/2016 at 3:00 pm
It is a difficult question to answer as it depends upon what the court decides is in the best interests of the child. Much also depends upon the mother's opinion and how much contact you have with your grandson on a day-to-day basis. You would really need to seek legal advice here.
Gramma's monkey 10/11/2016 at 3:40 am
My 18 year old stepson has a 7 month old little boy. My stepson is going through court for access. At this time he has 2 hours a week on Saturdays at my house. He is also going through criminal court for other matters that have nothing to do with his son. My question is if he is found guilty and goes to jail he wants us to have his access with his son. So because he is the father will the courts let us have his access time at his request?
Scared mom 02/11/2016 at 12:50 pm
I have a child with my deceased partner. His name was not on the birth certificate as I was still in a marriage and my husband name is on the birth certificate. My partners family are now trying to threaten and scare me to having access to my daughter. She is only 4 and already refuses to go. I wasn't married to my partner and his name is not on birth certificate but his family say they will take me to court for access. Do they have any rights. And can I Deny them access completly. My child has lived with me all her life and has only met them on a few occasions. Now they are asking for 3 times a week access for 4-5 hours at a time
SeparatedDads Editor 28/10/2016 at 2:51 pm
I'm afraid this is beyond our remit to advise as we can only give basic guidance. You may wish to seek legal advice if you wish to stop the mother having contact for safeguarding reasons, you may also wish to speak with Social Services directly if you are concerned.
Maggie 27/10/2016 at 8:40 pm
I'm a grandmother of 4 year old twins nearly 2 years ago the mother to the twins after having both children on cpr for 19 months as were going for pre proceeding to take them away from her the father lives with me my son traveled down for the pre proceeding meeting in the mean time there was a report that the children had been serverly beaten as told my son to take the children they been living with my son and my self for nearly 2 years and the mother thinks she's got rights to have contact with the twins were r at our wits end here worried odversly she Denid hurting the twin but when the children were interviewed by the police they said she had done it but she blamed it on the children's fighting not a chance can any small child cause the bruises these children had she had also had them around 3 pedophiles
SeparatedDads Editor 17/10/2016 at 9:59 am
It's a tricky situation as you are both married and it is a situation you would have to resolve between you both, as both of you will have equal parental responsibility.
Worried mum to be 16/10/2016 at 1:04 am
Im 6 months pregnant and have had no contact of any kind with my husbands family for a number of years. I feel they would have/cause a very negative toxic and emotionally damaging atmosphere/effect if involved in my child's life. I completely understand everything from my husbands view point (obviously he want his family involved) as he does mine but where do I stand. Can I refuse them access?
SeparatedDads Editor 12/09/2016 at 12:49 pm
I am very sorry to hear this. The only course here is to seek legal advice to see whether you can have the contact reinstated via a court order.
Di 11/09/2016 at 8:46 pm
I recently lost my son .he has a 6 month old daughter .who after being a child at need through social services ..has been given back to her mother ..I was having contact 2 days a week. The baby staying over one night a week .now her mother has stopped my Accsess to the baby ..what can I do to resolve this .what rights do I have .any information in similar circumstances would be appreciated
KG 10/09/2016 at 10:34 am
guy's what can I do if the grandfather of the child doesn't allow my baby boy to visit me and I already pay the damage
lotty lettuice 05/08/2016 at 4:06 pm
Me and my wife have had our grandson living with us nearly 3 year with his dad who lives here but we have brought him up.My grandsons mother who in the 3 year has had minimal contact and so has her mother.His Mother decided the other day she wanted him for the night so we said yes fine and she picked him up and took him,half hr later receive a message saying he isnt coming back again.
We are absolutely devastated she has been sectioned in the past for various things and has a split personality flips for the slightest thing.We rung the Police and not interested,phoned the social services as they have been involved in the past and once again not interested.
We rung a Family Solicitor who advised us what the mother has done is illegal demand the Social Services come out to see us and Still Nothing are we banging our heads against a brick wall it feels like it
Dog-of-War11 04/08/2016 at 10:24 pm
I have a 2 week old son. I am 18, the mother of my child is 17, living with her mother. The mother of my child and I have a very good relationship, she wants me to have visitation. But the grandmother of my son refuses to let me see him. She refuses to let me go over and see them, and refuses to let me pick her up to see them. Can the grandmother legally refuse to give me custody if the mother of my child is living with her?
SeparatedDads Editor 27/07/2016 at 12:40 pm
If you have parental responsibility, your child's name cannot be changed officially via Deed Poll. However, they can change your child's name unofficially i.e to use at school/doctors etc. But his original surname will remain on his passport and birth certificate.
Lee 23/07/2016 at 12:48 am
Can my sons grandparents who has git costody of my son and I still have contact change his name with out my permission
Tilly 21/07/2016 at 8:33 pm
My son died 1 year ago,leaving a baby 2year old,My son's name is on her birth certificate, so I would like to know if his family have any right to have her stop over and take on hoildays to see the rest of her fathers family.
SeparatedDads Editor 30/06/2016 at 12:00 pm
It is impossible to anticipate what a court may decide. It is unlikely they would be granted any kind of unsupervised access at the outset if they have never seen or spent time with your child.
tootsie 29/06/2016 at 5:03 pm
I split from my partner when our child was 6 months old. His parents are now taking me to court to try and get access to my child. The reason they do not see my child is because they never wanted to see my child, they wanted to raise my child and for me to dissapear. They have been threatening me with court since my child was born. I believe they were seeing lawyers before my child was even born. I arranged for them to meet me to see my child but they refused to show up and instead went to court. What are their chances of getting my child. They have never had my child or spent time with my child. They know nothing about my child. They just want to hurt me. My child is happy without them.
Northernlad 17/06/2016 at 6:53 am
My wife split from me after 14yrs. Her mother is massively abusive and bitter towrds me. This is now being aimed at my kids (12,10,8) bad filthy language lies and slagging me off. Can i get some sort of order or injunction to prevent her seeing them/contacting tbem and abusing me. Is tbis a legal/police matter or is tgere nothing and my kuds go on getting upset angry and confused???
SeparatedDads Editor 24/05/2016 at 3:08 pm
You would need to discuss this with your ex directly and if your ex and you can't agree, then mediation may be the way forward. Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here . I hope this helps.
Lande 24/05/2016 at 7:07 am
Hi me n my babies father recently split my baby is 16months old. We have set contact when he is to have his son which is Saturday 7.30 till 2 and Sunday 7.30 till 3 this is whilst I am at work, however he is not actually looking after my son he is palming my son off on his mother on both days is this acceptable that he really is not looking after my son?
Bell 20/05/2016 at 5:18 pm
My son passed away before my granddaughter was born therefore is not on her birth certificate. There was difficulties establishing how to do this initially however now the Mum has stopped all of his family having contact despite there being no dispute over my son being the father.
Is there anything I can do?
Scotland
Doug 02/05/2016 at 4:42 pm
I am writhing to seek advice on a family matter which is affecting my children. I have 3 children 1 to my currant partner and 2 to a previous me and my ex partner have a civil relationship in which we have arranged payments and access to the kids there is a arrangement in place which works for both parties and the children both have good solid relationships with both parents

Due to recent family disagreement between myself and my parents it was made clear to me that my parents did not want any contact with my youngest child who I have with my currant partner my parents have still had contact with my other 2 children which is now putting a strain on everybody involved I feel now my parents are emotionally abusing my 2 older children by telling them not to tell me (there dad) certain things which I feel is emotionally affecting him

I am seeking advice on this situation as what is the best action to undertake to solve this
SeparatedDads Editor 27/04/2016 at 2:18 pm
Your ex can't stop you taking your son around to see your mother. However, as what frequently happens in cases like this, if your ex finds out this has happened then she may try to deny access to you. In which case you would have to take the matter to court, and then you could let the court decide what access you have and whether your son should be allowed to see his grandmother. On the other hand, you could pre-empt this and apply through the courts via a Specific Issue Order, , in which case the court would decide on your behalf. Mediation may be an option (and the court will wish to see that you have explored this before you can apply to court) and if your ex refuses to attend, then you could apply directly to court.
Dad33 26/04/2016 at 9:11 pm
I have split from my sons mum 8 years ago. My son is 8 years old. I have been regularly seeing my son on a weekly basis and things have been fine. Just recently my ex had lost her dad and my son went to live with his grandma (my mum). My ex now has him back living with her but has been denying me access to my child and his grandma (my mum). Now I know I can go to court and gain access to my child legally but my ex is saying she doesn't want my mum (his grandma) see him ever again. I just wondered what we can do. I know I have rights as I'm on the birth certificate. Could I take my son round to see his grandma even if she is denying access for him to see her. Would I be allowed to do that? And can she stop me from taking him round to see her?
Mini driver 12/03/2016 at 9:37 pm
My granddaughters mum died when she was 1. My ex-husband offered to help care for her., granting access to her Father (my son) and her grandparents. However due to my Son having a huge fallout with his father. His father will not let us see my granddaughter. They won't accept gifts for her, reply to requests to see her etc. My ex husband and his wife have special guardianship. My son fell out with his Dad as he was getting married and due tomthevwedding taking place out of school holidays. My granddaughter wrote to her dad to say she didn't want to see him. But it is obvious this is now over what my son said to his father. I had gifts returned to me with a letter from my ex husband. My ex told my son he wouldn't let him see his daughter. We don't have huge amount of money to spend on court proceedings. My granddaughter is almost 11. Any advice?
SeparatedDads Editor 01/03/2016 at 1:44 pm
In addition to the information in the article, you may find the Granparents' Association useful via whichI hope this helps.
toots 29/02/2016 at 3:40 pm
My son and his girlfriend have split up and she is not letting us see our granddaughter?
SeparatedDads Editor 29/02/2016 at 2:45 pm
I am sorry to hear this. While grandparents do not have an automatic right to have contact with their grandchildren (as they do not have Parental Responsibility), a court will consider what the relationship has previously been, and whether any ongoing contact will produce a negative effect on both the child and family. The court's main welfare is the child's and therefore you will be interviewed by Cafcass to ascertain the situation. However, I'm afraid we cannot predict what the court may decide. The court is likely to suggest Mediation first in order to encourage you to try to resolve the problem before it gets to court.
Jen 29/02/2016 at 2:14 am
Hi, I desperately need advice please.

my father has always been mentally abusive to me but I tollorate it because I love my step mum. when my son was born to my surprise they were very supportive and whilat my father has made each stage of my sons development extremely difficult due to our differnt believes in how a chils should be raised I have been incredibly gratefull. when I met my partner when my son had just turned 2 my father became extremely jealous of my son's relationship with him. We moved a little farther away from our hometown and whilst it isn't very far, it has meant their access of my son reduced. my partner also has children so allowing the children to bond whilst very important did impact on my parents time with my son. I have encouraged them to spend time with us as a family so we can share time so no one misses out but my father refused. on the odd occasion he has come to us he acts inappropriate and uses bad language which we cannot allow around the children. since becoming engaged a few months ago and my son being excited at the prospect of new family members my father seems to have gone beyond where I can see a reconciliation. he has become insanely jealous and has gone to very underhanded leg the to try and have my son taken away from us. he has contacted my ex partner who hasn't seen my son since he was a baby advising him he is being mistreated. when this didn't have the desired response he called the police and told them the same, when the officer he spoke to was a family friend who advised him my son was a very happy and loved little boy he convinced his GP to raise concerns to social services. After checks with his school and nursery and lovely reports regarding how he happy and thriving my son is and what great parents we are dad has applied to the court for access. I can't afford a solicitor but no idea where I stand legally. as a mother it is my duty and care to decide who should be in my son's life and the thought of someone making that decision for me terrifies me. my son has started saying some very disturbing things since my father hasn't been in his life such as "you're not a nasty mummy like grandad says are you mummy? you're kind!" like he's surprised im a nice mummy, it's heartbreaking. We have gone to every length to invite them into our lives. my son wants to go to friends parties and have playdates so a flexible solution would have been in his interest but my father can't see that and has caused us a lot of distress. my son has also been confiding his his school teacher that grandad shouts alot at mummy and it scares him so obviously they've flagged this as a concern to me. Any advice wold be hugely appriciated.
Lynne 18/02/2016 at 4:35 pm
im a grandparent that has been screwed by the system i had my granddaughter from.birth her mum wasn't even living with us she got in trouble with the police and DCP came and took my granddaughter of us and told my because she gave myth. Address we have to take your granddaughter of you and they did i didnt see her again for 6mouth. That how long it took to get my work with children card to see that what DCP did to my treat me like a criminal.. No thats not justice that a mob of heartless bursteds
twiggy 28/01/2016 at 4:22 am
I need help on getting my daughter back I've not been giving a chance social worker was ment to take out task for me to and she did not tell me about them and iam annoted at this and they didn't check my new flat out going by what my old flat looked like witch wasn't my fault and the grandparents on the dad's side has been granted guardian ship and I haven't been giving the time of day me and went though Domestic violence I do have family and friends to support me I have learning disabilities and have an iq of 72 please help me thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 20/01/2016 at 12:13 pm
You would have to apply for a Specific Issue Order. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, given your daughter is 15, her own preferences will be taken into consideration if Cafcass get involved.
Stephen 19/01/2016 at 3:30 pm
I have the opposite problem - I had to throw my wife out due to infidelity and I have stayed in the marital home and single-handedly look after my 15 year old daughter.
My wife takes our daughter around to her parents, but they keep accusing me of bad parenting and being irresponsible and generally trying to poison my daughter against me - can I get an injunction to stop them from seeing her ?
Many thanks
S.
SeparatedDads Editor 12/01/2016 at 10:39 am
I'm afraid grandparents have little rights when it comes to their grandchildren. The fact your son's ex is letting you have access, is a plus. You don't say how long ago they have split up, but it may be that his ex may relax these new rules once everything settles down again. Occasionally, the courts will let grandparents apply for access, but it is mainly in situations when they have had continual access and played a significant part in the child/children's upbringing and that access has been completely revoked. You could always suggest mediation if the situation becomes untenable, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. However, hopefully it may be something that you can both work together to try and sort out between yourselves by compromise and mutual support.
Jensear 11/01/2016 at 4:26 pm
A few years ago my mother in law hit me. She had opened her mouth and told a lot of people stories about my husband's past. We have been married now for 2.5 years. She never came to the wedding. She has been niggling away at us in the background ever since, even bragging to people that she hit me. I am now 25 weeks pregnant and don't want anything to do with her. I can't even stand the thought of my child being in her presence. She has now moved house to a rough area and is living with a schizophrenic Elvis impersonator (yes you read that right) whom she plans to marry. Do I have the right to stop her seeing my son when he is born?
jack 11/01/2016 at 8:01 am
my sons girlfriend has left my son and took our two grandchildren who we have seen on more or less every day till they split up . our grandchildren are 8 and 4 and get them self in a right state when we have to let them go back so now mums saying we can only see them every other weekend and the effect its having on my grandkids is killing us is there any thing we can do ?
SexiRedd 26/11/2015 at 3:00 pm
I don't feel that a child should be kept from
Their grandparents on either side,but it
Happens the law states that the mother can refuse to let the grandmother be in the Childs life,but I'm a little confused because when the mother gets in trouble and DCF or DSS have to be involved the first person called are the grandmother, so therefore if the mother don't want the grandmother to have anything to do with her grandchild, WHY call her when the mother gets in trouble? I think that law sucks especially to a person that have raised their grandchild
From 2weeks old until 11 years old and then the mother decides that she wants the child so she can get food stamps,NOW that's what tears your heart out your chest.The mother takes take child even tho she had a paper notarized stating that she give up all her rights to the child and with that form you are still told that you don't have any rights to your grandchild.

Hurting & Depressed Grandma.
SeparatedDads Editor 10/11/2015 at 2:53 pm
This is a difficult query to answer as bringing up a child is about compromise and trying to make sure every family member involved has their fair share of access to the child. You don't say how old your grandson is, and what his wishes are. You don't say what his parents wishes are. Or whether his other grandparent has a genuine reason to drop him off at yours at 8am i.e she has work commitments which means she has to be there at a certain time. His other grandmother may want to help, but feels ousted out, which is quite often the case. I can only suggest mediation in a situation like this, please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here, so that you can try and arrange between you for what is in your grandson's best interests. I'm sure it would ease the burden on you, to have others share in his upbringing too.
bullied_nan 09/11/2015 at 10:54 pm
Hi my query is a little out of the ordinary but i am grandmother to a boy who lives with me (as his parents were silly teenagers when he was born and could not cope), My problem is paternal nana! Shes demanding my grandson overnight but no nights are available. She wants him on school nights although she has made it clear she cannot take him to school and wants to dump him on my doorstep at 8am in the mornings which i said no to, then said she wants him weekends when hes with his patents, (i want him to spend as much time as possible and bond with his parents so they eventually have him full time) shes now threatening me with legal action as she knows that i cannot afford a solicitor as i financially support my grandson without help from anyone least of all her, am i in the wrong here? ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! Thank u
Bev 01/11/2015 at 9:47 pm
I have 2 grandchildren and son in law constantly smokes weed in the house maybe kitchen or his bedroom and then it filters thru the rest of the house and you can smell it when you walk in . My beau free always denied it sticking up for him but it's my grandchildren that suffer , God knows the impact it has on them , my daughter just says they are naughty but I don't have the problems she talks about when they are are ours a few days without passive smoking the crap thirt father smokes . I need to know the steps I can take to protect my grandchildren whatever it takes its just not right they are addicts before they have the choice
jord 09/10/2015 at 12:42 pm
my daughter was born 12 weeks ago and me and hrer mother was together up untill 3 weeks ago when we split up because i found out she registered baby behind my back and failed to put my name on daughters birth certificate. in the last 3/4 weeks she has said as and when i can have my daughter stopping contact as late as the night before, she has never allowed me to have my daughter at my home overnight ive only ever been allowed to have her a couple of hours twice a week. i do not believe this is fair, i do not want to take my daughter away from her mother i just want to rightfully be named on my daughters birth certificate and you have joint parental responsibilty over her she is our daughter not just her mums.
how can i go about making this happen plesase
Agogo 14/09/2015 at 4:10 pm
There are a lot of sad situations here that make mine seem insignificant. My son’s girlfriend blatantly doesn’t like me and I am constantly having to ask to see my granddaughter. She is just over a year old and all my attempts to babysit her, for the most part, have been thwarted. Her maternal grandmother is the grandparent always of choice. She has my granddaughter and her grandson (my son’s partner has a son from a previous relationship) overnight but I am not allowed to. I do believe that my son has tried to encourage his partner to let me have access to my granddaughter but his partner actively prevents it. I have babysat my granddaughter for a few hours whilst they and her grandson go to see a film but she does not trust me to look after either of the children. I know I probably see my granddaughter more than most that have commented but I am not building any bond with her and every time I do see her, she doesn't recognise me. When I see her, it is only for short periods and it has mostly been supervised access with my son present whilst his girlfriend is out. His partner works part time but my efforts to babysit whilst she is at work have also been thwarted. It would save them childcare costs. My son says all the right things but it never happens. I am at a loss as to what to do. As my granddaughter grows, she spends more time with her brother and her maternal grandmother and I am cut out.
Vee 08/09/2015 at 6:56 pm
My son has a son with a women he no longer is in a relationship with her I'm the nan I've being seeing my grandson on a regular basis my son has a new relationship with a women who has a child from her previous relationship my sons x girlfriend has found out and keeps on stopping contact for me this has made me I'll I want to see my grandson not interested in their issues can I go to court please help me
Jama 31/08/2015 at 4:45 pm
hi my partner has a daughter and he's separated from the mum it's all been through court and the grandparents (my partners mum and dad) are been rather difficult saying that they can do whatever they won't and can take the child away if they see fit and all three of them both grandparents and my partner have a residence order jointly can they actually do this or are they saying it because there been totally awful with him they have made him move out from my home into another and threatened him to say if he didn't move they would take his child can they actually do this?
Vikki82 21/07/2015 at 2:49 pm
My brothers gf pased away at the start of the year. They have a little girl who now lives with her gran ( the gfs mother) when the gf passed, the day after her mum told my brother that she wanted the kid to stay with her and would wright up a letter for my brother to sign, this letter was given on the day of the funeral and was signed not forgetting my brother was in mornin for his loss and was not in the right state of mind. He was aloud to c his daughter anytime but now the gran is starting to make excusses when he wants to c her and when he wants to have her for holidays the gran says no its to long ??? Does any1 know what we can do ?
SeparatedDads Editor 10/07/2015 at 2:22 pm
@kel72 - Your daughter needs to be able to voice her fears in court. I have included a Bar Council link: A Guide to Representing Yourself in Court here which should help her prepare her case. If she has time, she can also request help and advice from a McKenzie Friend, see link: Using a McKenzie Friend in Court, here. The court will always rule on what is in the best interests of the child, and the courts like consistency and stability. There is no saying that the courts will allow the other grandparents to take your child, especially if he doesn't know them and especially for an overnight stay. However, I can't predict how your case may turn out as each case is very different. I hope this helps.
kel72 09/07/2015 at 2:05 am
Hi,
My daughter broke up from her abusive partner 2yrs ago and has since had to get an injection out on him. Now hes mother is taking my daughter to the family court for access to see her grandson, not just weekly visits but over night stays. She hasnt had contact since my daughter split with her son except a parcel at xmas and birthday, my grandson dosnt know her and is clingy to my daughter , we cant affird a solicitor so my daughter is scared that over night access will be granted as my daughter says her ex always used to say he would just take their son andvshe would never see him again also my daughter said she would agree to a contact centre so she knows her son is safe. Hes other grandmother has written on the court form that she had very limited relationship with the grandson so will this go in my daughters favour my daughter said it would be like handing him over to a stranger ! She hasnt bothered for 2 years until now, we took him out for a day out anvhe was frightend of getting on the train he said i dont want to see daddy **** , my daughter has told cafcus that this is going i cause him alot of uncessary upset but can anyone give us advice my daughter cries herself to sleep the court case is next week - would appreciate any advice please oh the grandmother ccontacted mediation but it was in her area and my daughter refused to travel there for her and her sons safety
lainey 03/06/2015 at 11:32 am
my son has recently ben thrown out of the family home due to hois fiancé playing away,he's a working man and is living with his sisters at the moment trying to see his kid's and trying to rehome himself for half custody of the kid's,the mother changes her moods like the wind so it's all and always has been on her terms,my son has got a visit with family soliciter today but myself and husband don't know where we stand.What's our rights as paternal grandparents,wee had regular contact with the kid's well whenever the mother of the kid's felt like it
Grumpy gran 30/05/2015 at 12:47 pm
Hi I hope somebody can give me a bit advice, my grandchild is with a kinship carer through social services as his mother did not want him, my son at the time was not in a position to take custody. I get to see him and talk to him sometimes but if the kinship carer is upset with the father they ignore my calls and do not reply to my txt to go see him. I know there's no rights for grandparents but I don't want to loose contact With my grandson. Do I have a legal case here
anon 28/05/2015 at 7:04 am
My friend has a young boy who is going to be a dad at age 14, but his girlfriend has threatened not to give them, as grandparents, any access. What are the laws for this situation? As he is still a child too. Thanks
Dawnie 22/05/2015 at 10:58 am
My grandson has lived with me for eight years he is now 13 I want some rights to sign parental consent please help me as my daughter has a new husband who he hates and I cannot get any support as I have no rights
SeparatedDads Editor 18/05/2015 at 2:09 pm
@vix - your sister would have to apply for a court order c100, if the grandparents have residency. I can't quite understand your question, but I hope this answers it.
vix 14/05/2015 at 11:10 pm
My sisters son was taken of her about 3 years ago and the grandparent stepped in to look after him she was bitter from the start my sister used to smoke cannabis but she stopped that as soon as he was taken she used to have contact with him then she met someone moved to run corn and couldn't see him as much when she came down to see him my nephews nans was very nasty to her my sister has be told by a solisitor that she can't be stopped from see in her son what can we do my nephews nan is bein so horrible no t let my sister see her son
SeparatedDads Editor 15/05/2015 at 11:22 am
@mariah - if your child's father doesn't agree to your terms, you would have to take it to court to try and get a specific issue order, see Specific Issue Orders article, link here which should tell you all you need to know. There is no guarantee the court will award this and you will have to show/prove why it is not in your child's best interests to see your ex's family. I hope this helps.
mariah 13/05/2015 at 5:35 pm
I don't want to stop my children's father from seeing them because he is a great father but its his family. His mother has a history of child abuse towards him and has done nothing but course me stress and pain since my 1st child was born. His sister has always made threats and coursed my family alot of stress. All of this comes down to a race issue has I am mixed race. My Childs father lied to me and went behind my back and let her see our children I cant trust him anymore but I know he's a good dad and always will be. I just want to stop certain members of his family having any contact with my children has I do not think my children will be safe around them. His mother has showed no support whatsoever and has coursed our relationship to end because of the stress. Please any advice would help I want my children to have there father in there life.
Sas 28/04/2015 at 6:48 pm
Three weeks ago we lost our only child our beautiful daughter unexpectedly. She went through a difficult divorce and has a little boy of seven. Her ex husband has only seen his son eight times in the last four years due to him deciding to live in Singapore rather come back to live in England. with his new Russian love. When he heard about our daughter he came back to England to take his son to Singapore to live. As you can imagine my grandson is very traumatised by the loss of his mummy. We are at our wits end knowing that our daughter would have wanted us to look after him. Our grandson was taken straight after the funeral to live with them. Her English is poor, has an eight month old baby.together with the fact that our grandson has only met her on three occasions. We don't know when or if we will see him again. He is used to living in the countryside not in an artificial city.
He is a very sensitive little boy. We are told we have no rights.
We are told we have no rights.
SeparatedDads Editor 16/04/2015 at 2:51 pm
@Lorraine - thanks for your comments. I hope you get plenty of followers.
Lorraine 14/04/2015 at 1:21 pm
As a loving grandmother, who ex daughter in law has got pregnant by her current boyfriend we are now alienated and after having my two grandchildren almost every weekend since they were born [age 5, and 3] she is now refusing access. Both the kids I understand are playing her up.

I am now fighting back and set up a group called grandparents rights uk on facebook, I am trying to see how many grandparents are being alienated in the Uk and what we can actually do to try and change the law for access and rights.... Its a shame that so many children are being abused in this way by immature parents for their own desires and not thinking of the children's needs.

if you are an alienated grandparent please join our cause.
DaveH Editor 18/02/2015 at 10:11 am
@Poppy - “Your daughter can choose a legal guardian to look after her children in the event of death. She would need to appoint a guardian(s) in her will, who she can specify will act as the parent(s) of her children by awarding them ‘parental responsibility’. While there may be a possibility the will could be contested, any court would, however, take the information laid out in the will seriously when deciding what is best for the children. Rather than buy a make-shift will, it's probably best she does this through a solicitor instead.
Poppy 15/02/2015 at 9:51 pm
My daughter has two girls by different fathers. The oldest girl goes to her fathers every other weekend. The youngest is at home with my daughter and the child's real father who I have had arrested once for abuse to my daughter. I want my daughter to make a will that in the case of her death that both girls stay together and that their grandparents have the parental rights to them but both fathers can have reasonable access to them.
How would this stand by law if the fathers disagree with my daughters last wish?
Kat Editor 05/01/2015 at 2:34 pm
@Ogla - for the best results his dad really has to pursue this matter through the courts if he wants to see his son. Have you spoken to the mother and asked what the reason is that he hasn't contacted you? It's a tricky one as at 14 he does have opinions of his own, it may be that he is going through an awkward teen stage. But perhaps your son should have a chat to his mum on your behalf and ask what the problems are.
Ogla 30/12/2014 at 3:41 pm
My son seperated two years ago I have a grandson 14 since he has been a baby he has always been close to me stayed and went on holidays twice a year with me but all of a sudden his mother says I am making him I'll by texting him because I have no contact with him for four months I sent him texts asking him why but heard nothing neither has his dad what can I do to get him back
SeparatedDads Editor 11/11/2014 at 2:36 pm
@Jo - Yes, the best place to find out would be to contact the school directly and ask.
Jo 11/11/2014 at 10:30 am
How Do I Find Out If I Am Banned From Collecting My Granddaughter From School. I Am Applying To The Courts For A Child Arrangements Order But The Mother Has Said In Her Statement That I Am Banned From The School. I Collected The Child On A Weekly Basis For 2 Years. Is There Any Way I Can Find Out If There Is A Ban Against Me As Its The 1st I Have Heard About This & Have Never Been Informed By The School Regarding This So Called Ban.
Thank You
Jo 11/11/2014 at 10:25 am
I Have Been Accepted By The Courts To Apply For A Child Arrangements Order With My Granddaughter. The Mother Has Told The Courts In Her Statement That I Am Banned From Collecting Our Granddaughter From School. This Is The 1st I Have Heard. Before She Stopped My Contact I Collected Her From School On A Weekly Basis. How Di I Find Out If I Am Banned By The School. I Am Reluctant To Contact The School But I Feel It Could Be My Only Option. Do They Have To Tell Me If There Is A Ban Against Me.
Thank You
Jay 29/09/2014 at 4:06 pm
Hi,I would like to find out,my ex wife signed over full custody of my son to me,he has been living with me for two years,I am busy with the courts to do the amendments to the settlement,recently while my son was with his mother a gate that was being moved fell on my son breaking his arm,I have said to her I want him to recover then we will discuss her visitation,what rights does she have as she doesn't pay maintenance,leas than half if school fees and she refuses to pay joint debt,I cover all costs myself,I also have a concerned with how they are living as the boyfriend that she left me for as she fell pregnant with his child while we were married is a violent person with a history of drug abuse,many times my son has said to me that the boyfriend has hit him and my ex,I want to know do I have to let my son go there for weekends or not as all I'm doing is looking out for my boy,he is my life,he is 5 years old now
kazy 29/09/2014 at 10:02 am
hi my daughter had twins 2years ago , her baby's daddy mum is bring them up as her own she went to court got guardianship order my daughter see the boys eveyweek pass the last month she has not seen then the the other grandmother took them away for two weeks week before they went away my daughter could not see the boys the other grandmother said too busy packing and when they come bk from holiday my daughter said can I see the boys other grandmother said no busy then I text my daughters ex telling him what be be down he said I could not come because I have not see them since May but from my records I have not see them since mid of July my daughter has to come on her own and they are making it difficult for her to see the boys
FREESTYLERFLYER 23/09/2014 at 11:19 am
Family court NSW now ongoing over 12 months. I am being denied any legal representation and my son has run from his mother multiple times at 14 close to 15. He desires to stay with me and has threats on his phone from students from his high school. I have reported this to police in person with my son present and assured he would get a call back from police. He has not got a call nothing and I have since called them twice to ask what is going on with no reply other than the officer is not in today this was some two weeks ago now. I am on an AVO by police for sending sms requesting my mobile phone supplied to the children back she was not allowing them to use. This was since been ordered by the court our eldest son must have this phone and not to be taken from him. Very one sided from police to the court. Why should this father be denied legal rights like being represented in an open and honest manner not the lies that have stood in this court to date as this statement is true and factual 100% to the best of my knowledge.Much more but not the space please help if anyone can as I am just on a disabled pension and have been looking after my son around 4 months with no payment from centrlink no support from the mother and a family court that has stated it intends to have me arrested?
massey 19/09/2014 at 4:54 pm
Please can any one tell me what is involved regarding an assessment for special guardianship Thank You
Massey 19/09/2014 at 4:50 pm
Can anybody tell me, what is it like to have an assessment with the social services to have special guardianship Please.
PJ90 Editor 12/09/2014 at 2:06 pm
@kadilou, you can apply for care of your grandchildren as the courts and social services would rather, where possible, place the children with an appropriate family member.
kadilou 12/09/2014 at 9:11 am
My daughter has 3 girls who are on care orders but im not happy with the way they are being raised would the courts allow me and my husband to give my granchildren a loveing home
jode 06/09/2014 at 11:11 pm
My sister had a baby lessthan 4weeks ago and was taken away by social services at 2 days old due to my sister addicted to drugs.
I am 26 years old and want to get custody of the baby until my sister gets back on tje straight and narrow again. Could my sister sign baby over to me ? How do we go about this as I don't want my sister child gone to the state.
Many thanks xv
tweety 26/08/2014 at 5:42 am
My son has three children with his baby's mother, also a daughter that passed in 2012. The oldest two boys I have custody of. The problem is the mother is always with different men and the last child is a girl. She is 21 month and I'm afraid for her welfare so I get her every other month. I don't have the mother address are a phone number to reach her. I have to go through her mother to find out when she will pick her up. About a month ago she claimed she was in the hospital for 3 days and the baby was left with the man people. I would rather just keep her myself than worry that she maybe in harms way since her mom change men's so regularly and doesn't have a stable home. If I take this to CPS like the Department of human resource employee stated for me to do.( her Medicaid is inactive her mom has updated it) What are some of the possible outcomes?
Marilyn Irvin 11/08/2014 at 10:13 pm
Mt daughter past away on January 8, 2011. I had her two boys while she was ill. The oldest boy was nine and the youngest was 19 months when she past away. I have alway been able to see thee boys. They each have different fathers. No matter shere the youngest was living I always drove and picked him up and then took him home. Recently his Dad and step mom move out of stat and every time I try to go see him they say no. I am willing to drive there. I just want him to see and know us. What can we do?
Rally 23/06/2014 at 1:21 am
Hi my in laws are controlling freaks they fight with my wife all the time in front of the kids. They recently had a falling out tried to get me involved now there harassing my wife following her barging through the door harrasing her in shops!! Now they think that they have a right to see our kids and have threatened us with legal action and we are a bit stuck on what to do its quiet scary.
annie77 03/06/2014 at 3:38 pm
my partner and I have not spoke to his parents for two years but our children who are 16 and 12 have been visiting them with no problems until a month ago when they(grandparents) stopped replying to text messages and stopped answering calls. now i have received a phone call from a social worker saying she is coming round to mine tomorrow with police because they've had a call from the granddad saying we are stopping them from seeing them and think theres some sort of neglect going on !! I am at present 8 months pregnant with twins and dont need this stress. my children want to see them,they have all the text logs on they're phones.I am fumin. only I have parental rights as my partner and i are not married.I dont know where this has come from.
nana 15/05/2014 at 2:02 pm
My son died suddenly in August 2012 from cancer he did not know he had it, his partner of 11 years put him and us through a difficult time for the month before he died. After his passing she would not let us see our grandchildren age 11 and 19 months old for nearly a year after his death. However I continued to try keep contact through mobile phone text messaging she sometimes responded and other time would not. however mid year 2013 she started to let us see our grandchildren again which was great. she has MS and bi-pola. she has one brother who does not have anything to do with her and her mother is now in a nursing home her father passed away 5 year ago. we took her in when she fell pregnant with our grandson as my son said she had no where to go her parents at this time were kicking her out. I have always been respectful to her and given her the love she so long for even during periods of bad behaviour towards us. she has cause us so much distress over the years and put my son through some terrible time when he was alive. she lies continuously which I turn a blind eye too. She has been hospitalised many times and I have taken time off work as she needed us to mind our grandchildren they had to come and stay with us for nearly two weeks. we were taking them to school and picking them up because of her illness. I love them very much and will do anything she wants when she ask us to help out because she says she needs a break and want to go out or she is sick. she has sent me a text saying she no longer wants to talk to anyone or to me. Everything was ok up until I went to Perth for a week to see my sister, I needed a holiday, I work and I'm 54 years old was getting tired. I'm so concerned that our life is held to ransom all the time. My granddaughter will forget us as she is only 3 years old and our 11 year old grandson was just beginning to be a bit more of his old self. This summer we have had them a lot sometime two or three weekends in a row we would take them out to the beach, park shopping or just stay at home and swim in our pool. I was even taking them for their swimming lessons. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so sad for her and my grandchildren they no longer have a father and we know longer have our eldest son and our youngest son has no brother. sadness for all...
piu 25/02/2014 at 11:28 am
i want to ask that if i will seperate from my husband then my son have right on his parental grandparents property or not
llz 20/01/2014 at 1:13 pm
I am a single mother, i left my mothers house at the age of 14 due to her abusive behaviors, now many yrs later she decided to get into contact. Me being of the age i can stand up for myself when she gets angry now, i got up and left after which she decided to take me to court to get a court order to see my little girl. After all the abuse i went through i would never leave my daughter around her, but as the court have insisted she gets 2 hrs ever 2 weeks when im there. i bite my tongue and deal with it. We are now going back to court in because she insists she needs to have her by herself. Since my daughter has been seeing my mother at the play gym once a fortnight shes taught my 3 yr old to swear, tried to hide so i couldn't find them, told her when i die she will live with her, she has started shouting at me infront of all the other familys.. the list is endless and disgusting, It sickens me that a court pay no attention to what is really going on. To my mother this isnt about seeing my child who until about 12 months ago she never wanted anything to do with. Its all because i stood up to her and said no! It has gone so far now that if it goes on anymore i will move away, unfortunately that means from the rest of my family. I think some grandparents are genuine and care for their grandchildren and for them my heart breaks if they are refused. But in my situation it is not the case and i am in shock that a family court could overlook such disgust behavior it worries me not only for my daughter but for other children.
Cullis 18/12/2013 at 11:47 pm
In a recent survey carried out in Febuary 2012 as to if Children needed both parents after a seperation by the Daily Telegraph, the results below show:

No, not if the father has walked out on the family 7.44% (340 votes)

No, mothers are better at looking after children 1.97% (90 votes)

Yes, children need their fathers no matter what the circumstances 15.71% (718 votes)

Yes, fathers should have the same rights as mothers 74.87% (3,421 votes)

So how many children and forced away fathers will be hurt by an alienating parent this xmas?

I pray that this government can do our country proud and do the right thing... Stop this madness!!!
Angelika 14/12/2013 at 12:01 am
My son has not had any contact with his dad for 15 years (we were divorced 10 years ago). He is now 38, just got married and is expecting his first child. What rights does his dad of seeing his grandchild?
Shells 12/11/2013 at 12:47 pm
Never ever, should parental sovereignity ever be undermined by grandparents taking them to court for access. I agree grandparents have a lot to offer, but when your denied access it normally means you've over stepped your boundaries, I speak from experience. These are not your children, you've had your time. let us have ours.
W66pie1 03/08/2013 at 12:47 am
I have watched my first grandson till he started school. His dad and mum work as did all my daughter in laws family at that time.My daughter in law is a complete CONTROL FREAK and I have kept my mouth shut for 15 years or more now.I have started answering her back so this is the second time she has kept my grandson from me in 1year. He will not look the road me and his papas on when my son sees us. Its hearbreaking ps I stay in scotland
Roxy1234 22/06/2013 at 2:01 pm
What happens if I refuse to hand over my child to his grandmother ,, I don't want her near him she is a drunk and can be violent. She ha not got a relationship with my partner who has joint custody of my child. He dosent want her near him and she is only doing this to get at my partner she hasn't seen the child in 8 months and he dosent go with anyone he screams. I don't care weather the courts say she has him every second Saturday , I am not handing him over and I have an Appel gone in against the courts decision what happens if I don't Hand him over.my partner has no contact with her and has no desire to , I am up the wall over this that I have to hand my 2 year over to a stranger ,, I know he will kick and scream and I don't want her near him
Amy-guy 27/04/2013 at 3:37 pm
I hope law doesn't change as my partner mother drinks everyday n far too much n also send abusive texts n says she going get my daughters taken off me!!! She throws at is about my dad not been blood n shell tell my daughers that he not their grandad!! she has made lots of lies upN now I've had to phone the police.
Jean09 25/04/2013 at 8:42 pm
Hi ave got one grandaughter and boy twins due in August I e seen my grandaughter twice and she is nine mths old know we tryed for kinship but the social work lied about teachers and trying to say we over medicate my 12 yr old son on Ritalin which we don't but know just been told the social worker has been changed no reason as yet but I feel like there could be something going on here as we stay in Kilmarnock and we have 6 six of our own kids staying with us so why don't they see this plus my daughter wrote a letter to sign the baby over to us but they never took notice of it I myself just don't think it's fair on this little baby and the other ones that's due to do this as we are here to look after them we need pointed in the right direction for serious help to get this kid out of care anyone plz help
MeelsMuir 08/04/2013 at 8:01 pm
My brothers ex girlfriend stopped her whole family seeing my nephew. She made alligations against my brother which was meant to be heard by the courts, but the hearing hasn't been had, and my nephews mother passed away last week. Now my nephew is living with his grandparents (her parents) and they are slowly but surely continuing the saga, and will not let us see him. Does anyone know what action we can take? We really need help with what we can do. We are all heart broken.
fordy 02/04/2013 at 9:09 am
ive booked a holiday to florida and i am taking my 2 year old grandson who lives with his mother (my daughter). my daughter is happy for me to take him, she was never married to the childs father and he sees his son once a week he is now telling me that as his name is on the birth certificate this gives him 50% rights and he will not allow ne to take his son out of the country. does anyone know if this would be the case?
lilly 01/04/2013 at 11:23 pm
Hi I was going throu DV,my kids nan then took me to court and got my children she also had PR,6 months later she said she couldn't cope and was going to put them into care,I had done everything that was asked of me so social services said did I want my boys back,of course I did I was no longer with my ex,they have been here 1d months now but the nan is saying she still has PR and now she wants them back surely she can not do this? Thanks
drsuspicious 21/03/2013 at 10:11 pm
hi, our daughter is being taken to court by paternal grandparents re contact order .he has been for visits reluctantly, now the courts insist that they can take him away on unsupervised visits . we are concerned for his safety, welfare and happiness. question...... if our daughter refuses to co operate how does she stand within the law?
sylv 06/03/2013 at 8:14 pm
My daughter is struggling with her 3 yr old son an says she needs help I would have to cut my hrs at work to have my grandson 2 days a week to help her I already look after him 1 nite an he sleeps over an also look after him and his 9 month old sister on my day off as my daughter works, could I claim any money for those 2 days as obviously my wage would be reduced as I work full time but really want to help her but cannot give up my job
Bonnie1007 20/02/2013 at 10:52 am
I am raging my ex partner doesn't see my daughter which I am happy about but I have been going through the courts for over a year now as his adoptive mother and her new husband have been demanding access to my child and have been granted it I don't understand why non-biological grandparents who I do not get on with and neither does my ex partner who is her biological father can be granted access and even overnight access. I don't undertand why they can't leave me and my daughter alone as its not fair for her to be in a hostile environment when she doesn't have to be, no one seems to be listening to me
mikeyr251 11/01/2013 at 10:04 am
I got full custody of my daughter in August 2012and I feel so lucky but was her own fault. I used to have a great job working in the oil and gas and I worked only 5 months of the year and got paid for the full year. anyways back at the end of August 2011 I came home for a stint of 2 weeks offshore as I worked a 2 on 2 off 2 on 4 off rota I picked up my daughter as usual and normally kept her for the two weeks I was home and the month I was at home so anyways when I was due to go back to work two weeks later I phoned the ex and said I would be round to drop my daughter off and was told not to bother as she didnt want her back as she could not cope. so I said you cant do this I am due back to the rigs on the monday and she said she didnt ant her back. I then phoned my work and told them the reason why I didnt turn up for my check in and missed my flight to my work and they were cool about it and said that I had to keep in touch with them and they would leave me in full pay until I got it sorted out. few months later I heard nothing from the ex and she did not even want to see my daughter so by December 2011 I deided to call my work and tell them that I would have to leave as there was no change in my situation. I got a handsome pay off from them and I went straight to a soliciter and got it all finalised. it took approx 7 months to sort out and now she sees her every 2nd weekend. I understand there may be a lot of idiots out there that dont see there kids but its not only males it is females aswell just the other week there iu was shopping in a local store when myself and my daughter walked passed her own granny my daughter never even recoginsed her but I got the dodgy look.all I can say is that I am really happy I have my daughter but the only problem I find is finding a job to fit in with my needs. as my daughter will come first every time
gill 24/12/2012 at 10:02 pm
i can relate to all these things, it is soul destroying. I was diagnosed with breast cancer just before my son got married. We paid for everything so they could have a wedding of their dreams .

Now i am just waiting to die without even having a cuddle with my little grandaughter . so not right . where are our rights.
hardy 14/12/2012 at 1:49 pm
Wherever possible, a relationship breakdown should not need to end with extended family members not seeing a child anymore. However, if those same family members are not willing to respect a resident parent's wishes, and if they undermine them, cause offence etc. then that parent needs to consider whether it is fair to expose a child to an environment that can sometimes be hostile. If they can trust grandparents and other family members to look after children/a child as requested and not say anything detrimental to or in front of the child, then it should not be an issue to arrange access. In my experience, no matter how upsetting it may be for grandparents, most women who don't continue with contact/access between their children and ex's parents do it because they believe it is the best thing for their child's emotional welfare, or because they personally need to get away from those people. It's different if the grandparents have actually been bringing up the child most of the time, but in a lot of cases that isn't so. A parent needs to be allowed to be able to make the right decisions for their child, how they see fit, otherwise how can they ever expect to have any authority with their child? I know my child better than anyone, and I can genuinely say that, no matter how much other family members may love them, they are not their first priority in the same way that they are mine. Paternal grandparents continually tell me and my child that they don't see enough of them. However, it's me who does all the running, makes all the effort, pays the travel expenses so my child visits them on a regular basis, but they haven't bothered to visit my child for almost a year.
betty boop (just doi 22/11/2012 at 8:04 am
Is it possible to take social services to court and held liable for destroying my family by fabricating what was said in order to gain a residence order for the grandparents whose son is not even on the birth certificate! Plus writing to legal aid stating that they had no intention of returning my child therefore did not require legal aid which was then stopped so I had to represent myself in court and got rail roaded by them not to mention did't stand a chance in hell,but they already knew that,that's why they did it for. I recieved paperwork after they were granted the order and there was paperwork in there that I'd not seen at all,which was kept out of court on purpose not to mention the recordings I had gathered since april because from january 2010 till march 2010 they lied and because there in authority they got believed and I was accused of being the liar,so I recorded everytime I was allowed to see my child untill they stopped that indefinatly in december 2010 and have not been allowed to see or speak to her since then as thats what the grandparents had want all along so she has not even seen her 2 older sisters or me for over a year now,and all because they fabricated evidence just so they could have MY child,and I want JUSTICE for what they have done and caused and for what??? Petty jealousness on my ex's side and social services did this just because they could and would not be questioned about what they said (lies). so I have my recorded evidence,all 16hrs of it that proves they lied from the start,i just need a solicitor who's willing to take them on as I want to sue them for what they've done and my child back where she belongs home with me. can any-one help me with a damn good soliciter or recommend one please?? thanx
Lou 20/11/2012 at 8:14 pm
Im in a very hard position. I am currently pregnant and me and my partners mom have fallen out. I originally told my partner she would have to go through him to see our daughter when she is born. He has informed me that she is apparently entitled by law to get something set up legally so she is able to see her. This has angered me due to the fact that she is trying to dicate to me when she will be seeing MY baby. Whether she is able to do this or not I don't care, I now don't want her to see my daughter at all. Is there something I can set in place with a solicitor to stop her applying for access altogether?
Gina 04/09/2012 at 12:09 pm
I am so sad that I do not see my first grandchild my son's ex girlfriend is so difficult. I phone to arrange a day to visit on the day an hour before she has a headache or has forgot someone else is visiting. It was the same even when they were together. It breaks my heart that I am not allowed to bond with him. We have now decided to move away as living just around the corner is too upsetting. Why are we being punished she was happy to take our money to get a flat buy baby stuff like a cot etc. Presents that we bought for the baby but when I have managed to visit I feel as if she does not want me there. I would never use a child as a weapon as far as I am concerned the more love a child has the better. I know my grandson will grow and make his own decision as to whether he want to know us or not. Still they say what goes round comes round she has a son one day maybe the same thing will happen to her..
NOODLES82 23/08/2012 at 5:22 pm
i want to change my wifes sons surname to be our surname
he currently has my wifes maden name.
her mother is using the over my dead body comment every time

does she has any rights to block this name change so the 3 of us can be a proper family

i am not on his birth certificate but i am in the process of getting parental rights to him but we are not going through the adoption phase

please help
spud 19/08/2012 at 7:28 pm
My parents have put in for grandparents rights were do stand and descions made on behalf of my son
bubbles 14/08/2012 at 11:26 pm
my sons partner has moved 4 hours away from us and has prevented all contact with my grandchildren. i practically brought those children up - they spent every single weekend and some weekdays with us. when her and my son broke up we still had the same contact. she met another guy, moved far away and now wont let us see the kids. within a month she was engaged to this guy, pregnant with his baby, moved away - yet, this guy has a record for being violent towards his ex girlfriends. i am worried about my grandchildren!
is there any way i could get legal help that wont cost me the earth? i am financially unable to cough up 5 to 10 grand!!!
why do mothers use their kids as weapons? do you have no idea what it does to the grandparent!
mill 30/07/2012 at 10:53 am
My daughter in law will not let me see my grandson. we cant even go to my sons house when he is there as she blackmails my son and tells him that if we see him she will not let my son have contact with him either she has legal aid and my son does not, so he cant afford to take her to court and she refuses mediation, how unfair is the law she has us stiched from all sides.children should never be used as weapons.my grandson tells me that he wants to see us, but is too frightend to tell his mum this.
gabrielsmummy 19/06/2012 at 8:32 pm
No the law SHOULD NOT BE CHANGED. My mother is abusive and my father is violent and a drunk. They want access to my child. if the law was changed they would get it. NEVER SHOULD MY ABUSIVE PARENTS GET TO HAVE MY CHILD!!!!!!
his nan loves him 29/05/2012 at 11:24 am
When are the childs best interests placed first? we wanted to take him to see his great grandmother in cornwall. she is dead now. we wanted to take him to the jurasic coast to look for dinosaur footprints and fossils but the answer is an automatic no because,she says,we should ask our son to speak to her,she will then give him her answer then he can tell us what she has decided.apparently my mistake was to just ask her
goremegirl 23/05/2012 at 1:18 am
My son has been a loving husband and father ,then found out his wife had had a lesbian affair .Still he looked after them and rented a house staying with them after the marital home was sold .My son got cancer and his wife got him to hand over a large deposit to buy a house for her and take out a mortgage saying the children need to be looked after .She was amicable right up until her and the 2 boys moved into their new house leaving my son homeless .After he'd moved them in taken the boys on holiday and both he and I looked after them while his partner went to University ,she decided that we were both never going to see them again ! Just like that -mediation didn't help as she refused to go or told them it wasn't her decision the boys didn't want to see us .She started turning the boys against us so it went from them staying with me quite often overnight and my son hurrying from work to take them to no contact at all .It's been a year and a half since I saw my grandchildren and I feel it's precious time lost and a special relationship spoiled by a narcissistic mother .
Kez 02/05/2012 at 9:57 am
It's right that grandparents should not have access rights. The parent is the parent to grant rights against parental permission disempowers parents. As heart breaking as it is grand parents are interfering and if the parents can't work it out then this interfering will negatively impact on the child. If you want rights to your grand children be nice and negotiate with the mother.
Jack 09/04/2012 at 4:13 pm
I brought my grandson up for 11 years but when his mother was caught having an affair she stopped all contact with me and my grandson. Surely we should have some rights
honeypie 29/02/2012 at 8:19 pm
My ex has supervised contact to his daughter ( his parents supervise ) He is taking me to court for defined contact although he sees our daughter twice a week. In the past 4 weeks they haven't shown for contact 4 times as they are busy or doing other things. What can I do as my life seems on hold as I cant plan ahead for myself or my baby.
tooty 16/02/2012 at 6:37 pm
My son and his ex partner have a little boy 6yrs old, she left my son when my only grandchild was 8 months old.i looked after my grandson while she went back to work and when she left my son she put myself and my husband on a court order stating that my grandson was at risk from us both,thankfully it was thrown out of court.over the yrs some of the things that she has done,she has also accused my son of trying kidnap his so which is ridiculous.now I have app t to see a solicitor for grand parents rights.,she thinks her son is a possesion,he is a child that has the right to see his dad and grandparents without all the animosity
Ko 13/02/2012 at 7:22 pm
My sons ex girlfriend has said my baby grandson will never be allowed to visit here, and that if she has her way my son will be banned too. How can this be right? She has threatened all this since before the baby was born, she sends regular texts telling me what an awful son I have. I could change my number but then I'll never get the chance to see him. I cannot believe there is nothing I can do
Fay 18/01/2012 at 12:37 pm
Sons ex girlfriend allowed access to grand-daughter but since new boyfriend this has not been allowed since before christmas. New years eve brought upsetting texts.
andy 12/01/2012 at 7:32 pm
Can my ex girlfriend allow my 5yr old son to go on holiday this summer for two weeks with her mum and her grandparents without my permission as the dad? I asked about holidays and mentioned taking him for a week and straightaway she replied no but expects me to be comfortable letting the grandparents take him for two weeks ??
brightstar 18/08/2011 at 6:07 pm
The only time I ever got to look after my grandson was when my daughter in law, son and her family were all going out somewhere. Its always been her parents that look after him on school holidays and other times. Since she parted from my son my son brings him in to see me. It has caused me a lot of stress, and I often wondered why she was like that with me, but everyone says when my grandson gets older he will make up his own mind. He is 9 years old just now.

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