The thought of your ex partner taking your children is the worst nightmare of many parents, and so if it happens, understandably it is a very emotional and stressful time. Many people turn to the police for help to return their children, but how much the police can help is very dependent upon your personal situation. If both parents have Parental Responsibility and one parent is keeping the children against the other's wishes, the police CANNOT help, even if the children do not normally live with them. However, if the parent does not have Parental Responsibility, the police will be able to intervene.
If your ex is withholding the children and you're unsure what steps to take next, you can get personalized guidance using our free Access Denied Action Plan.
So what is Parental Responsibility?
The Children Act 1989 defines 'Parental Responsibility' as 'all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child'. In plain English, this means that you have responsibility to:
- house the child
- protect and maintain the child
- make decisions about their education
- name the child
- consent to any medical treatment for the child
Mothers automatically have Parental Responsibility as they are listed on the child's birth certificate. A father will automatically have Parental Responsibility if he was married to the mother at the time of the birth or was listed on the birth certificate. Alternatively, both parents can sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement and register it with the courts, or more commonly, a father can apply to the courts for Parental Responsibility.
To apply to the courts, you will need to fill in form C1 found at Gov.UK - Forms and Guidance. A court fee of £232 is also payable though you may be able to get assistance with this if you receive benefits or have a low income.
Check what legal rights you have as a separated father. Takes 2 minutes.
Try our Father's Rights Checker free, here on this site →But what if both parents have Parental Responsibility?
The father of my son has decided not to return my child. He has access every week, but we had an argument about what time he should return my child and he said he wasn't going to return him as he has parental responsibility and he has found out he can legally keep our son. I called the police, but they said they can do nothing about it as he is named on the birth certificate and therefore has PR. I am beside myself with worry. It has been four days now and my ex is still refusing to return him. My son is only four and has never been away from me longer than a day. I can't eat or sleep and I am beside myself with worry. I just want my little boy back.
If both parents have Parental Responsibility then the police cannot intervene to take the child off one parent and give them to the other; the police cannot choose between parents, that is the remit of the courts.
In this situation, if you are concerned about being able to see the children, or, if you think that the children should live with you, you can apply for a Child Arrangement Order.
Note: You may have heard about Contact Orders or Residence Orders. A Child Arrangement Order replaces these older orders but those with Contact or Residence Orders need not re-apply. Also confusingly often those in practice will still refer to (for example) obtaining a Residence Order when applying for a Child Arrangement Order.]
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
What is a Child Arrangement Order?
This court order determines where your child lives, which relatives they have contact with, and what type of contact (e.g. in person, phone calls, or letters). Anyone with Parental Responsibility can apply for an Order.
To apply to the courts, you will need to fill in form C100 found at Gov.UK - Forms and Guidance. A court fee of £232 is also payable though you may be able to get assistance with this if you receive benefits or have a low income.
I am a father of two children six and three. When I went round to pick them up last week I found my ex collapsed on the sofa through drink and drugs and her ex partner also high on drugs. My daughter and son were not dressed and my daughter's nappy had not been changed for hours and she was playing with food in the dog's bowl. I have heard they are not being fed or looked after properly and the Social Services are looking into this.
Ordinarily, the court will give notice of the hearing to both parties so that they can attend and give their side of the story. However if you think that your child / children may be in danger, then you may be able to apply for an emergency without notice hearing which will be much quicker than a full "with notice hearing". However be aware that this will only be a temporary solution and that any without notice hearing will be followed shortly after by a full "with notice" hearing in which the court order may be changed. If you are considering this option, seek professional advice or contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau for some free assistance.
If you can show that your former partner is not able or appropriate to look after your child / children, you may be able to get an order stating that the children should live with you. However you will need to evidence this.
Below are easy ways to obtain this evidence:
- Take photographs of the condition of your children when you see them (e.g. unwashed / dirty clothes / dirty nappy)
- Video or photograph your interaction with your former partner when going to collect your children, including any condition of their house as you can see it from areas into which you are invited / the doorway. However remember that you must not trespass into the property.
- Take a witness with you when you go to try to collect the children (e.g. a family friend or if possible an independent person such as a local church minister).
Note that the courts are very unlikely to not award at least contact to a parent, even if they are inappropriate to look after a child. However this contact may be indirect, such as by letter, or supervised at a contact centre.
Remember that whilst the police cannot take a child away from a parent with Parental Responsibility, they are able to intervene and remove a child if there is a real risk to life. If you are concerned about a real and immediate threat to your child's safety, speak to your local police force and social services.
If you are unsure about your rights, speak to your local Citizens Advice Bureau who will be able to provide you with free assistance. The courts may be able to help, but this can be a lengthy process and you will need to evidence any concerns. It is therefore important to know your options before seeking a court order.
The ex is a very controlling person! its got to the point where my partner is considering breaking up with me to save the relationship woth my son what do i do? There was an instance where my ex and my partner got into a heated discussion and my ex decised thag she was gonna bang on the car windows and stand infront of the car to stop us from taking my son for the week as planned and agreed! The ex is mentally and soul destroying us! What can i do lads?
When my daughter was two and half years old I let her go to her mum's for the weekend I had done so a few times before, she came back home and all was as normal as it seemed I needed to go shopping then my daughter said her brother made her do something naughty... I said what did you do steal a sweetie she said no I said then what she paused and said her brother made her put her mouth somewhere and do an act.. I was horrified and broken gave her hugs asking if she's okay she said yes .. phoned her mum .. mum phoned police in her son who was 10 at the time ...social services got involved basically said she has to stay with me and not aloud to be around the son unless two appropriate adults are there to keep an eye on her .. 10 years later which is 2 weeks ago I let my daughter go her mum's the mum asked if she could take her for half the 6week holidays I said yes ... And all now I haven't heard from them my daughters phone is off and the mum isn't answering..till her school phoned and I told them the story gave her mum's number over they put a notice that there's a child missing from education.. I phoned social services where I'm from and the county where my daughter is at her mum's and they have both said there's nothing they or I can do apart from go to courts because she has parental responsibility.. even though I told the SS about the past history they still say they cannot do anything.. I can phone the police and make them check if the well being of my daughter is ok ... Am I literally gonna be thrown in the hole with no way out ?
The relationship between my partner and I has broken down and it has become impossible to live together. We cannot agree what is in my sons best interest and im corncerned because she has decided to run off and stay at a friends house and take my boy with her.
He is only 4 months old but she is not financially independent and is not eligibile to receive any benefits as she currently has no visa to live and work in the UK. All benefits that my son receives will be lost as he's only eligible for them when he lives with me.
I have a large and supportive family locally but my boy will be taken many miles from here, away from his nanny, aunties, cousins, great aunties and great uncles, second cousins etc.
She is also not a particularly responsible person and has often not followed safe sleep guidance or general safety advice provided to us.
I have contacted social services but she will have already run off with my boy by the time im expecting they make contact with me.
Can anyone offer any advice to me or what my expectations could be please. My understanding is that the mother has main responsibility but this is a unique situation.
Thank you
Chris
She blocked me on all social media and has changed her number.
She suffers with Bi Polar badly and last time we spoke a week ago she was saying she felt like ending it all.
I'm stuck
I let my daughter go to her father on the 25th January for one week, she wanted to stay for another week so I let her.
Before she went she had asked for loads of things but because she had just got lots for Christmas I said it was too soon and she she needed to wait for quite a while. When she went to her fathers he bought her everything she wanted. She was waiting for an online delivery that would have arrived when she would be back with me and rather then asking to stay for another week with her father she broke down in tears to him and made lots of horrible things up.
I am now facing family law court with fees I can’t afford while he manipulates and keeps my daughter and buys her what she wants. All the time making out very serious allegations about me. It appears that I am guilty until proving innocent.
I haven’t seen my daughter in 6.5 weeks ( we have never been apart for more that 2 weeks before). He lies are getting bigger. Everyone is listening to her as she is 13. I love my daughter but I know the massive lies she has fabricated during lock down and I feel social media ) tick tick and Instagram) have played a huge part in this.
No one has listened to my side yet even though she has lived with me her whole life. Last Mother’s Day she told me I was her best friend and mum rolled into one. This year they have encouraged her to not see me o. Mother’s Day.
I am desperate and now broken.
I feel no one is listening to me because of the serious allegations that are not true!!!!
Any help please
I would like some information surrounding my rights and what to do.
My youngest daughter (16) has told me recently that she was raped by her step brother about a year and half ago. Her mum and step dad covered this up and told her that it would be best to say it was consensual.
I have contacted the police and an investigation is in process. Since then I have refused to allow my daughter or Son (12) to go to her house for their own safety (if she can keep this quiet and lie then what else is she keeping quiet about) the step brother also could be there.
Social services are involved, and have stated they feel it is for the best for both to be at mine.
The children’s mum has been in contact asking for her son to return to hers, I’ve told her I don’t think it’s safe for him so won’t be returning.
My question is am I allowed to keep them from going back to the house with their mum? I know with my daughter she doesn’t want to return. My son is mixed, he would like to see his mum. Please help.
pablo - 17-Dec-20 @ 10:45 PM
I am separated from my wife and two children. I have moved back to the home town where my children are and have been paying maintenance since the separation. I am now in a position to have my children overnight for up to four nights in ten, so essentially a 60/40 split. My ex partner is refusing to allow me to have the children for that amount of time for her own emotional well-being. If she is denying me access and I and wanting to have more access. Will that be taken into account by CMS?
She then wrote a letter of consent stating I could have custody and put them in a school in my area.
Where do I start for custody.
I've applied for schools ive notified third parties yet I fear she will try and take them back and place them in danger as the ex keeps coming back with more threats.
I am happily married and my wife excepts my children whole heartedly.
Please advice thank you
Kit
So you would think thats a wake up call. Oh no she then proceeds to have people round, go round other peoples homes and travel across the country to another friends. 3 of these work within the NHS may I add. And has managed to start a new relationship ?????
Bare in mind my daughter has asthma.
So I get dogs abuse for wanting her here until she gets the all clear. Am I missing something?
2 years since we were speak on my EX that she will make a move to go to our house to show my daughter to me and my parents but she didnt do what she says , rather that she moved far away from there village and i dont know where to find . Aand she blocked me in the social media (FB) and i never cantact her, i ask her friends , aunt where they go but rather saying where they are they say "they dont know".
One of my good friend tell me where they are and give me the number of the mother of my EX so ill contact them and ask them why they didnt do what they say and She didnt reply, and knowing that my EX have a Livein partner and my EX is pregnant.
Now im a pursuing a Joint custody so i can visit or have a little months to spend my daugher even though my daughter dont know me anymore , but when I win this battle of Custody my daughter and I have time to get to know each other.
So....... long story short....... My partner (fiancee) of 15 years has informed me that our relationship is over, & that she is in love with another guy. She will be moving out to rented accommodation soon approx 5 miles away. (we are in housing association property at present, so no mortgage). She wants to take our son aged 14 with her, but he has told me that he does not want to go with her. He does not want to be away from his friends in the evenings, & does not want to catch the bus to & from school. She has not told him about the new boyfriend, but he has overhead phone conversations & seen txt messages from him. He has not told her he knows, but regardless of that, does not want to move. Can she force him to live with her ?. Is he legally allowed to decide for himself where he wants to live ?
As a mother,she's sending allowance for her child.
When we had the chance to get the child...the ex come to visit his son and that's okay.
But then, one night,he came again,entered inside my house and pull out his bolo and break the tv while his son is watching. so the boy run to his auntie shaking.
When my worried daughter learned about this,she decided not to give her son back to her ex. The child to doesn't want to go back to his father's custody.
Mt grandson started to share his experience to his father especially when he is drunk.
As a grandma,should I return my grandson or follow my daughter's plead not to.
Please help us!
I have a private court hearing on the second but I feel this cannot wait as social have already let her down on too many occasions.
Today as soon as I paid her child support I got a message saying my daughter said daddy for the first time, but my concern is that I've not been there for 8 months so who is she calling daddy?
What can I do to ensure my child's safety? . I am on the birth certificate but the mother is excersising her rights and not letting me see her....
I am worried that this could turn into another baby P incident where social overlooked the situation.
What can I do?
We did mediation just under 2 years ago as she stopped me seeing her for 10 weeks back then. I'm worried she will do the same again, my daughter and I have such an amazing bond and I'm a great dad. I just hate my ex making threats like that and holding it over me. I'm looking into shared custody, contact orders etc. I don't understand it all.
Split from my ex wife 4 months ago, she moved a druggie and dealer into family home within 2 months, my daughter and stepson are not happy with the situation, their mum also a drug user has now centred her world around this man and he has a 1yr old whom he has stay at the house for weeks at a time, he has constantly assaulted my daughter this child , when her mum has been at work, I ask the kids well what is the boyfriend doing when this happens?they both said hes just sat on a playstation, I have photo evidence of scratch hes galore on my daughter a bad urine rash burn I had to heal up for her, last weekend she turned up no answers from the mother, only defend doing the other child and boyfriend, she had a massive bite mark on her back from the other kid, again the boyfriend wasnt watching ! I had to get her hospital treatment and placed on penicillin, this week shes said, shes been signed of sick from work 2 weeks, as I told her she wasnt to leave my daughter in his care with that other child again, i then yesterday see her coming vain from work! She was very erratic s reaning at me monday for bo reason, i gave e her petrol mo ey to get my daughter to nursery last few days before break up as she said she was skint, she did t take her, so shes now w.otionally abusing my daughter further not allowing her to speak to me as shes so honest for me to k ow if shes safe, instead shutting her away daily in the house with her boyfriend minding with my stepson and other abusive child there, social services are investigating, now but will take a while, I'm worried sick shes being abused e.otionally and physically further by his child and him not supervising, and so she can leave her in his care whilst she goes to work shes stopped her having contact with me for no reason to hide this from me and to stop my daughter dis using any abuse with me shes getting in his care is there anything else I can do I'm out of my mind with worry for my daughters safety.
By the way. I have exactly same rights as my son's mother. The only difference is she live with my son.
Thanks
...long story short thier paternal grandmother was awarded custody and now she gave then over to some people non relatives in Mississippi. I live in Alabama. I have visitation rights and phone privileges that ive been denied now for 3 months. I have not lost mu roghts but these people are directly ignoring my rights to call or see my kids
Crying and wanting to be with me in Scotland. He is here on a visit however doesn’t want to go back. I have PR due to his age but where do I stand if he doesn’t go back or if she refuses to let him move? Can the police force his return and is my son at 12 allowed his own legal representation (can that be Scottish or English) ? Urgent advise needed. Thank you
Thanks
Brandon
Me and his mother have just recently split
My ex mother has been cautioned for harassment and assault to me and she is saying she is taking our son to see her
My ex has a 10 year old daughter who’s gran has smacked her and hit her for behaviour this woman is very direct and calls this 10 years old dad worse than crap can is stop this so this doesn’t happened to my son and turning against me when I’m not there ?
My sons mother has agreed to shared care ? But what about the 3.5 days I’m not there she loves two doors away from my son.
Help this woman is dangerous !!
I am desperately trying to restore my relationship with my children (my son is 16). However I feel my ex is hindering this process by encouraging my son not to contact me.
Is there an external service I can contact to help ease the way.
My ex took my son while I was in work the following day while I was in work, he will now now let me see my son for no reason and just makes up an untrue stories about me. I now have not seen my son for 3 months and he will not answer my messages, I think this is so he doesn’t upset his dad! Appeared to be nothing I can do as my son will not go against his dad!
I have been my son’s career and stay at home dad for 7years, and when my marriage to his mum ended he moved in with me, we have lived together for over 6 months now.
He has regular contact with his mum and brother
His mum as turned round and said she wants him back.. and told me that I can either set a date to give him back or she is just going to keep him.. Can she do that? She said because we are still married she can. We are both named on his birth certificate.
Not the police social services or doctor. What can i do
My girlfriend was cheating on me
Wiles i was inside she then told the authorities that i was aggressive wen i saw her at her home days later they then wanted to talk to me regarding our son and his safety with i done so
Everything was fine from that point on.
She now wants to rebuild and keeps pushing me away she donse not have our son on a day to day basis he lives with her mother
I want my son but i dont know if I would be arrested i am on the birth certificate and I named him but in Glasgow its not simple with police and authorities i dont know what to do with everything
I used to see my child every other w/e, holidays. Took my child on holiday. She just wants the money from maintenance. It is £300 a month, if i see my child it would be less. Her response to my partner was she knew it was unfair but she wasn't giving up her money for nobody, so do one.
She is using my child as a weapon. She did exactly the same thing with her eldest childs Father He only restarted a relationship with his daughter when she was 20. I fear this will be the same, history repeating itself.
She always portrays herself as the victim. She left me with a lot of debt, some run up behind my back
I know its not just women, men can be the same.
I havent seen my child for 2 yrs now.I have tried,i seen birthday & xmas cards/gifts. Have opened a trust account for her.
I just dont have the money to go to court, im paying the debts she ran up and the highest amount in maintenance. I jyst want a relationship with my child
My brother has full custody and a long standing 5 years of battles and got full custody of first daughter since has 2 more kids with same woman they have come to a point where she left when he was sleeping as she has been cheating and setting a new life up with new guy but as she knew she wouldn’t be able to take all children with out making stuff up so now has gone to police to make false statement saying my brother is controlling her when I’m fact she was removed from mother and baby unit before my brother got the house because she has been cheating before and couldn’t get up for the baby using excuses after excuses for her behaviour causing problems she has several times cheated but my brother didn’t expect this to happen so where does he stand regards to she has taken all 3 they share custody for 2 but the first is in his full custody social say go to lawyers which he is doing right now but would like advice on where he stands
my ex and her new feller keep tell me im not allowed to see my son as he better off without me i text my ex to ask me when i can see him but she just Ignore my messages or phones calls and when i do see him she has all these demands of where i can go at what i can do if i go against them she stop me seeing him. And she argues with me so i have to give him back to her as she just uses him as a weapon against me which isn't fair on him or me can anyone help please thanks
@c.laurie I wanted to thank you. Although we've never met hearing you say over and over that you're done with it has helped me understand that when I feel that I am done with it I really won't be. We want to be done but in our hearts and souls we will never truely be done we will just be dormant.
One thing i've realised from reading your messages is that when I thought "it's worse for mums" because of our bond (not stronger or weaker but just "different") I am wrong. Reading the messages from the fathers I can see that your pain and grief is just the same as ours because I could only tell the difference between the mums and dads by the definition of who the ex is i.e. "her" or "him".
I wish there was a "parents apart" so seperated mums and dads can join together to try and help one another and change the system.
My heart goes out to you all
Our war rages on
All my love
BrightSpark
The kids have a shared mobile phone for half an hour on a Saturday (every other day on week long stays with me), so that they can message their mum. Calls are not allowed because the kids are manipulated to speak for longer, sometimes all evening, which is antisocial and disrespectful at best. The kids try to hang up, but she tells them to stay on. For this reason it is restricted to messaging. After all, they are with her all week. Just to point out, the children have friendships in the area I live in and do not feel isolated or worried away from their mother.
Their mother has slight mobility problems, which means that on occasion, she has hospital stays. This has happened during the kids entire lives, but now it seems as though she encourages some kind of anxiety onto the kids by constantly reminding them of her hospital needs to the point where the children feel worried for her, even if it is routine appointments. It's all about her needs and not about alleviation of the kids worries. ( I understand the kids may be anxious and I get that, but it's the constant pushiness of her describing her illness and 'putting words in their mouths' that worried me, e.g. "I know you always get worried and you should know that I'm very poorly and I can't do anything with you at the moment, I'll get better but I'm really poorly and in hospital etc".
The final straw came when she was messaging the kids and sent a photo of her post op scar, along with a photo of her in a hospital bed having just woke up - bearing in mind that she was already home from hospital at the time, but still felt the need to go fishing for sympathy. If the kids are anxious, they will be even more by now, and judging by my eldest face, she put a massive downer on her day. Their stay with me is considered respite and that is hampered by her attitude.
The question is, under these circumstances, am I obliged to allow phone contact on the weekends and holidays I am with the kids? After all, they will be going home to her, and I am not afforded the same level of phone contact during the week. I have had a MIAM but she has not yet.
Thank you
Nothing that traumatic as some of the threads I have read. My daughters father has let her down so often since we separated 3.5 years ago. She is a teenager and doesn’t want to see him but every now and then she goes overnight.
He doesn’t inform or involve me and invites her on holiday without checking with me first (she hasn’t gone on holiday so I see little point in making a fuss over his rudeness and lack of courtesy for me and my plans). However, since he’s arranged to see he overnight and not informed me, I am now having to chase an nag her for a return time, which I have never been given. It helps me to know that I can go out and what time I need to be home for.
Is there anything I can do about this to ensure that he at least drops me an email to inform me of the arrangements and gives me a pick up and drop off time?
She's just gone on holiday with her new boyfriend of a couple of month and left my daughter with her mum am i i my rights ti say i want my daughter with methanks
I'm a mum been in the same boat for reacting in the same way, the more we were in court the more I lost my head with everyone. Not being aloud to be mum is the worst experience and biggest loss in my life. Women are treated differently in family court because our maternal reaction to our loss is misunderstood. You have to find strength to to work with the court process, don't react to your ex or be critical of them, loose the emotion you have when in court. look after yourself and be kind to yourself. I really do empathise with you. It's been 3years and I'm finally aloud to have my boy sleepover at my house. Stay strong
I have separated from my partner and I’ve moved back in with my parents, we have been looking after my 4 and a half month daughter for nearly six weeks but my ex was suppose to see my daughter for an hour then never gave her back, we both have parental responsibility we called the police and social services as we didn’t feel my daughter was safe they are not much help, we’re going to see a solicitor but what happens now do I contact mediation or does the solicitor do that we’re just beside ourselves as there is just no help
Thanks
I am his farther and I'm on the birth certificate and no domestic violence issues exist.
Surely my time is my time with my son and unless it's a wellbeing issue then she has no say.
Thanks in advance.
Adam
L yet ahe goes away with him as do her grandparents to long haul trips for weeks at a time but its a whole load of excuses why I cant and its always not yet or one day and then an excuse comes when the time comes. I feel its not fair as she goes away always in his holidays and I dont yet there is no reason why I cant. We both.live in Devon about1 hour apart andI always follow rules and always pick him up and drop him off and she never does.i follow all the rules yet she controls everything. Is this right? What can I do aa Ive asked but now i want to get my legal rights addressed at court. Advice PLEASE
Val - 17-Sep-18 @ 7:36 PM
I'm based in uk, London, my baby is born here
His boy is born here.
I'm living with a man who has a child with another woman, they haven't been married, she just slept with him for a baby.
She didn't want to register him on the birth certificate, and she didn't want him at all until she found out that he is in a relationship and he has another baby.
She started to threaten him, saying that if he will stop paying maintenance for the child she will take him to the court, he is paying but doesn't want any contact with her as she wants to make the rules always.
My question is: can my partner can be call in the Court if he stops paying child maintenance?
The child is born in April 2017.
He is not on the birth certificate, he is not asked about anything regarding his child, she wants him to see the baby at her place only and at certain time.
What we researched shows very little hope in having her returned! Can we apply for full custody whilst this is going through? Does anyone have any advice or experience?
His daughter is just four and loves her dad very much. She spends Friday after school to Monday drop off at school and half of all holidays with us (another court order) there’s also a court order demanding her immediate return to which she’s ignored. She’s a spiteful human being who will do anything to stop him seeing her and thinks she’s above the law. Do the really get away with it? It’s a mockery to the £25k we spent fighting to see her. She has no reason at all to this.
The daughter also speaks no polish and is surrounded by people who speak no English other than her Mum so my guess is she can’t tell anyone she wants to come home. She made it very clear she didn’t want to go there for a holiday as it was.
Now she’s telling me on the days that I was meant to have him she’ll find a babysitter, now she refused me to have a baby sitter when I had no options available due to my family being busy and her. Am I entitled to say the same, so I have a right? I’m certain she’ll leave our son with her partner, he doesn’t live with her and according to her he isn’t over often? Do I still have a say in that?? My name is on the birth Certificate, etc.
I am in a desperate situation here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
However the relationship has been turbulent and prone to alot of outside interfering (keep it short), she has always dictated everything about our daughter i have zero say in any aspect her family are right behind her against me, pushing me away, christmas was spent alone as my bday and fathers day,
We had an argument like we usually do however this time i gave her space (thought she was at her mothers as she led me believe) turns out she took my daughter and moved away, 3 months later got in contact and things started to look well,
Arguments ensued i dont feel i can trust her due to alot of her actions and sneakiness, now she has social services involved and police everytime i try to even ask or txt how my daughter is (thats if i aint blocked that week to be able to get through)
Now given i have no say or control in any aspect of my daughters life and she has manipulated everyone around me including my family (who she takes her round to see and slag me off too) but stops me having any form of contact with my daughter, now social services are involved and want me to contact then but im scared im gonna end up worse off than i already am
I dont know what to do
I feel like a sperm doner who has no rights and no say whatsoever and im at my end i cant cope.
What can i/need to do?
During her time living with us cracks soon began to appear in her caring for the baby.
She would stick to a rigid feeding time and the baby would cry with hunger, often having rows with my son because he'd feed her, she often swore at the baby, my son asked her on several occasions not to. She would leave the steriliser for 5 days at a time and not change every 24 hours. She would change the baby's nappy every 6-8 hours and not before. Plus there are many other things that happened. I did have a word with her health visitor but all she suggested was that she attend a teenage mum and baby group (She's just turned 17).
We always tried to advise her, never made her feel uncomfortable in doing so. We always had to encourage her but she couldn't be bothered.
When she left her aunty called Social services as she had concerns and noticed she had no connection with the baby at all.
They visited once and that's been it. Our son tried his best but it was never good enough she wanted him to do more and more.
If we are lucky to see the baby this weekend, she said Friday till Sunday, could we get into trouble if our son kept the baby? He is on the birth certificate.
We all have genuine concerns for the welfare of the baby and if he did decide to do that it wouldn't be out of spite but what's in the best interests of his daughter.
Thank you
Unless she removes a pips order.it is breaking her she is desperate to see her son how can we get him to agree to let her see him.at the moment she is saving to go to court.she cannot get any help as she is working
When back at unit I can see my little girl Tues and weds terms laid down by my ex I'm struggling with all of this and finding the courts are constantly bending in her favour! What can I do where do I turn!
My current partner and I are now expecting a baby, expected by a nice suprise and my ex wife is now claiming that I am a poor dad, unable to care for my children and wants full custody and states that I cannot have them during the week as per the rota we have agreed.
This has shocked me and upset me badly. Can she do this and what can I do??? Help??
Was present at birth for both and she never put my name on my sons birth certificate for reasons best to known to her.She tried to do the same for my daugthers but,stood my ground.I did have DNA done on my son without her consent and proved am his biological father.Despite my attempts to have share parental responsibility,she has refused and at one point she stopped from contacting my children for 8 months.When I went to court,was advised to seek mediation which I did.A letter was sent but,claimed she never got it,then all of a sudden I got email saying ,she has never stopped me contacting my children.This meant she got the mail but,chose to ignore it.That meant I couldn't go ahead with court given what she said in mail.She has shifted house and has not given me new address and I understand she plans to go abroad.Do I have a way I can stop this movement by law?????
I'm the mom of a 11yr old boy and his dad lives 100 miles away. I spends every other weekend with him. His dad is on his birth certificate. We have recently had a big disagreement and he's threatening to go for full custody. I'm frightened now to let my son go stay with him as he may not return him. He has recently moved and is refusing to give me his new address. And he did take my son once before when we broke up years ago but the police got him back for me . I need some kind of order to ensure my son will be returned home . Can you offer advice please. I've looked at c100 form . Does his dad have to sign this? Can't provide an address for contact. My son speaks to him via mobile for contact.
I'm in need of some advice, my partner who has a son from his previous relationship has recently been denied access to his child.
Bare in mind that he has Parental Responsibility to his son as his name is on the birth certificate, his son has come to see him every weekend since the break up of the relationship.
But recently my partner had a mental breakdown and went into a mental health hospital for a short stay, since he has come home his ex partner has come up with excuse after excuse to not let him stay with us.
This then changed and she allowed my partner access again for two weekends before going to a solicitors who apparently advised her that it was for the best interest of their child to with hold the access.
When my partner messages to ask about access and if he can see his son the only answer he gets is "Wait for the letter from the solictor" and is left in the dark about the well being of his son until 2 days ago where we got two pictures of his child saying simply "He's fine."
I am just wondering if anyone else has been through this and how we could go about making an amicable agreement to keep the child happy in this.
Thank you.
When or if they arrive at my house (the mother may or may not call them, hard to know), they should ensure the child is happy and there of their own free will, and at age 12 they should then leave the property as it is a civil matter.
The duty police officer on the desk told me they would return the child to the mother first, and as we previously had negative dealings with that officer (mixes socially with undesirables and we called their genuinely delighted colleagues at 2am to a domestic situation), I don't have much faith in their ability, especially when they could have asked a more experienced colleague whom I could see in an adjoining area.
It's all very well having useful information as to what will happen, but some sort of 'official' source such as previous cases and judgements might help, or some other way to politely remind the police of their limitations in the matter, by quoting official government or police guidelines perhaps.
My 12 yr old child wants to live with me, but my local police station tell me that if the mother called them, they would return the child to her and contact social workers.
This goes against what I have been told here and elsewhere, and I suspect my local police don't have the experience to know one way or another, so I would like to be able to give them the facts in a professional way.
We live in Scotland.
Thank you
I need a bit of a break tho, I'm kind of happy to let his grandparents see him as the enviroment is safe, and for his mother to visit our son there (her accommodation is unsuitable for our son to stay at) my worry is that she will take away from the grandparents, mainly out of spite and I will have to battle to get him back!
If I have placed my son in his grandparents care can his mother remove him from that care withour permission??
for 4 weeks not even a phone call .i have parental responsibility and if i go and take him as is my right not to keep but just so i can see him is there anything she can do to stop me.i know the police have no authority to take him from me as long as he is not in danger .
1. As my financial circumstances have changed significantly from those when the consent order was first put in place and she has agreed to a reduced figure, can this be upheld in a court?
2. If I was to contact the child support agency myself today, will this supersede the consent order?
3. With my new child due in June, at what point will the baby's arrival influence my child support payments?
4. One of the twins will be starting university in september. Will this mean she falls outside of any compulsory child support payments?
Thank you in advance of any help
My ex wife got married 6 months ago to a man she barely knew. We have two boys together age 6 and 8. They live with her and I have them every other weekend, alternate Friday evenings and when I can in school holidays. The thing is she’s just left her husband because she’s had concerns with the way he is around the kids. Also he is a total psycho and has completely lost it when she left and told him why she was leaving. He’s in their house and she’s staying with a friend. The police have been involved and social services. I picked the boys up the night she left because it kicked off with her husband. They’ve been with me a few days and I’ve decided I’m not sending them back to the usual arrangement.
I’ve told her because she doesn’t have a house, she is pregnant and I have a stable job plus a nice house that I should have the boys until she gets a house sorted out but when she’s done that I’m not willing for the situation to go back to how it was. I want 50/50 or I want the situation reversed where she sees them every other weekend because I feel life with her will not be stable. I’ve told her she should move to me (I’m an hour away) so that we can share 50/50 but she’s unwilling. I can’t move to her because I have a good job and my wife has too. Plus we’ve just moved into a new house here. So I think the only way it will work will be for the boys to live with me and she can have my visitation as I have up to now.
She’s insisting she wants things to stay the sameness and that she will have somewhere for her and be the boys by next week but even then I’m not allowing her so much time with them. She’s made bad decisions all the time since I left 3 years ago and this last one to marry this bloke was the final straw.
Question is will I be able to get that arrangement sorted legally? Or will the courts say things have to stay the same as I’m an hour away so can’t do 50/50. Thank you
I am having some issues with my husband we are separated and he currently has our 3 girls 3 days a week this has been happening for over a year now and my children are not happy because when he is supposed have our girls during the week they're being looked after by other people even though I am at home and able look after them, I am concerned because the mid week is very disruptive for our girls and my older 2 have expressed that they would rather be at home with me.
His solicitor sent me an email stating that he wants to have our girls 3 days a week and half the time during the school holidays, however over the last year during the week they have been looked after by lady from our church for 2 out of the 3 days he is supposed to have them and the girls are not happy they have expressed that they would rather be at home with me because they do not see their dad enough during the week this is very unsettling. I responded to his solicitor by saying that the girls staying with him at his parents house mid week is very disruptive and I proposed that he has our girls every other weekend as he can spend time with them because he doesn't work weekends.
Their dad has started a new relationship and has been secretly seeing this married women for months now she is also pregnant and has a child of her own, after I found out this information via an anonymous text my my husband decided to tell our girls without my consent and he even had his pregnant girlfriend come over and talk to them again without my consent now this relationship is out in the open he has had my children around this woman that they knew as their aunt for many years and he is still making our girls call her Aunty he has upset my girls by showing them a 3 month scan pictures of his new baby and telling them that he and this woman are moving in with each other.
My husbands brother has had a blackout while driving with our girls in his car and my husband knew that his brother has had previous blackout however he continues to allow his brother to drive our girls around.
This is just a few of my concerns but I wanted to know if I started to collect my girls from school instead of them being with a sitter during the week when my husband is supposed to have them am I breaking any laws and could this go against me long term if he decided to go to family court.
I am very concerned for my girls emotional wellbeing please can you advise me.
I am having sine issues with my husband we are separated and he currently has our 3 girls 3 days a week this has been happening for over a year now and my children are not happy because when he is supposed have our girls during the week they're being looked after by other people even though I am at home and able look after them, I am concerned because the mid week is very disruptive for our girls and my older 2 have expressed that they would rather be at home with me.
His solicitor sent me an email stating that he wants to have our girls 3 days a week and half the time during the school holidays, however over the last year during the week they have been looked after by lady from our church for 2 out of the 3 days he is supposed to have them and the girls are not happy they have expressed that they would rather be at home with me because they do not see their dad enough during the week this is very unsettling. I responded to his solicitor by saying that the girls staying with him at his parents house mid week is very disruptive and I proposed that he has our girls every other weekend as he can spend time with them because he doesn't work weekends.
Their dad has started a new relationship and has been secretly seeing this married women for months now she is also pregnant and has a child of her own, after I found out this information via an anonymous text my my husband decided to tell our girls without my consent and he even had his pregnant girlfriend come over and talk to them again without my consent now this relationship is out in the open he has had my children around this woman that they knew as their aunt for many years and he is still making our girls call her Aunty he has upset my girls by showing them a 3 month scan pictures of his new baby and telling them that he and this woman are moving in with each other.
My husbands brother has had a blackout while driving with our girls in his car and my husband knew that his brother has had previous blackout however he continues to allow his brother to drive our girls around.
This is just a few of my concerns but I wanted to know if I started to collect my girls from school instead of them being with a sitter during the week when my husband is supposed to have them am I breaking any laws and could this go against me long term if he decided to go to family court.
I am very concerned for my girls emotional wellbeing please can you advise me.
easter holidays. 4 additional nights. Not to be connected to a weekend.
Two separate weeks in summer holidays.. 5 additional consecutive nights ( does not state not to be joined to a weekend)
In court my ex was all nice and polite agreeing etc.. Even though I could see through her as I know her too well.
The judge stated I am to let her know my holidays. Which I told her the ones I intend to book.for next yr She ignored this. By time she replied. The summer two separate weeks I could not book. So I gave her two other weeks that I could .. Knowing it's not when she's on holiday so saw no reason as to why she'd refuse... Well she did. She Tried saying my child is in holiday school.. This is a lie as I've contacted the holiday school and it's too early to book.
Where do I go from here. Those are the only two weeks I am able to take. I have given 9 months notice. So I'm not being unreasonable
I have since messaged and said I will be collecting and returning on the dates and times and you would be in breach of the court order if you don't comply She replied I'll see my solicitor!
What if she's not there when I go to collect being as it's in my order..? Can I do anything before as she's playing games. Or do I have to wait until she physically refuses next summer then go further
I have kept log of all calls and text. I record all calls. I record all times at drop off and pick up. Which is on a memory stick. All text are printed etc
At the moment it seems she has the upper hand still and going to court was a waste of time
Me and my ex girlfriend of 8years broke up 10months ago. We have 2 boys 7 and 4.
The 4 year old is myn I’m on the birth certificate but the 7 year old isn’t mine.
But I’ve brought him up from 1 year old I’m the only dad he knows and calls me dad I’ve lived with him for 6/7 years and provided and payed for everything.
My question is if I decided to keep both kids one day am I braking the law?
Thank you jon.
She is not going to let him see the baby at all or us the grandparents.
We have tried to talk to her mum and Dad but they say the baby isn’t here yet so get used to it as you are not going to see the kid and your son will never see him too .
Just need advice of how we go about getting to see the baby if possible
There have been problems from the start with 5 separate hearings being made and the mother only turning up 2. She was given residency however was given a 6 months suspended sentence for stopping my partner seeing his son. Obviously cafcass were involved to do the relevant safeguarding checks but were "unable" to gain contact with the mother!!
We have had our concerns regarding his sons welfare but in a sense have been stuck on what to do after approaching social services ect without much success.
He has finally been able to approach his sons school and they have been extremely helpful, after his ex told the school he wasn't allowed to speak with them.
It has now come to light that the school have concerns over his son. First off they was told by his ex that his son has never had any contact with his father and doesn't know him... (he's been there since birth)
It turns out he has counselling on a weekly basis due to his lack of confidence amongst other things.
The school have said he is a withdrawn and introvert child who doesn't have friends, he puts his hood up at play times and hides behind the shed.
He is below average academically for his age.
His attendance is shocking ranging in the 60% range. If he is not in school he is late sometimes an hour late where he goes into school with his arm over his face and is embarrassed.
They have said that he comes into school "dirty and smelly often with No socks"
All of this has come to ahead and become very upsetting for both me and my partner. After having parents evening over the phone and being told there has been no change! This was today. It is our weekend and my partner has decided not to give him back on Sunday and take it back to court. With our concerns can he do this with her having residency? His son is 6 years old.
Thank you
Evenings. However, he needs to travel on business and to enable him to do so he is threatening to take our son to his Mothers who lives 400 miles away and leave him there for up to a week at a time so she can look after him whilst he travels. I do not consent to this but if he does it, what can I do?
My ex partner approached me last week asking if i could have my son stay over one night mid week every week, as she was starting shift work and could I help.
I was overjoyed at this idea and agreed. Our current arrangement is, he comes fortnightly friday through sunday evening, and comes for tea tuesday nights but i return him afterwards.
I was made redundant a few months ago and my current job is very low paid (min wage), where as before I was quite well paid, needless to say I have had to make some big changes to my budget, as a result of this I did some calculations via the CSA website and the increase in access and reduced wages means that the maintenance payment reduces. I contacted my ex with this news.
Now, as if for what I can only see as some kind of punishment she has said he can't stop over mid week OR come for tea anymore, and the fortnightly arrangements would also change to collect Saturday AM return Sunday teatime ! Also saying she will contact the CSA and notify them of the reduced access and this will mean I will pay more and see him less. I basically got her to admit by text that she had done this because I dared to approach her asking for more money and see how I like this instead !!
We currently don't pay through CSA, we did for years, then they contacted us both and said were we happy to make a private arrangement, so we did.
We also don't have any form of court order in place for access.
So my question is -
What can i do to stop this happening once and for all?
thank you
She has moved in with her mother with their daughter and is refusing to let her father see the daughter alone (on her solicitors advice) because she is scared he won't give her back and she won't be cared for properly because of his drug habit. She has told him she will grant full access as soon as he proves he is not on drugs. He refuses to take a drug test as he knows he will fail. He completely denies that he ever took drugs and threatens court action if she says this (not sure on what grounds however) and he attempts to cover himself. She has pictures of the drugs she found in the house and a video of the last time he went crazy at her. There are 2 incidents that the police were called.
She will be taking the divorce through court and wants full custody. I want to help support her were i can. Id like some advice on the following please:
Can the court will force him to do a drug test?
Is she right to keep her daughter away?
If he takes her, can she do anything legally to get her back?
Apologies for such a long post
Neither my husband or I with parental responsibility agree to this. We want her home to start her gcses.
Any advise
My son has 3 boys aged 6.4.2
My son had a rocky relationship with his ex and she fell pregnant with the last during the split.he was there for all of the births but she never put his name on the 2yrs old b/certificate..he has had regular contact with the boys and has them for weekends!
He suffers with a vomiting illness(cylic vomiting syndrome) and works around his illness for access to boys.ex partner is in a new relationship of maybe 12mths but recently the ex has decided my son is in the way!she is constantly making excuses as to why he cant have the boys such as"your not here regularly..you let them down.theyre not well".etc.although hes sufferd with this illness 10yrs he tries to lead a normal as life as possible..weve since lernt the new ex's partner is voilent and abusive although we are sure hes never touched the children we have witnessed an attack on my son when he dropped thr boys back home after a visit..hez also put windows thru in the house smashed the house up tv sofa etc..and weve also learned that the police are regularly being called and that social services are involved and she has a family support worker? None of which we were aware of! My son called to say he would be collecting the boys and she said you cant as you have to be checked out as does anyone who has contact with the boys? We called for some advice and apparently shes told anyone and everyone that shes a victim of domestic violence from my son...which is why we were not infomed of any of the situation regarding the boys..thus is totally untrue..my son has asked the police if hes on record for anything and sent for a crimanal record check so at least hes got something on papwr to prove his innocence..where do we go from here..shes not answering any calls or text..worried and concerned for boys safety.
Thanks
I want my child 50% ofvtyr time.
I currently have my daughter 1 day per week. How do I have this increased
My ex is a very harsh person that threatens me with my child everytime we have a disagrement. We both agreed that i could have my daughter for 2 full weeks, but weve had an argument over txt amd im afraid she might take my daughter home with her tomorrow when she comes to visit her. Can i stop her from doing that? And of she does do that... when i have her next week can i not return her for a week as to finish the time with her i was meant to have?
Also we have a court order in place that i have my daughter atleast one night a week but we can make arrangements between us.
Thankyou
My and my ex split up and I took our son back to my country...he never stop us last month we been to mediator and writte down agreement between us ( 4 weeks in my country two weeks in uk ) now he is refusing me to go back with my son
I'm sleeping on friends sofa and I'm basically homeless here as we been advice ( by police ) not to be in same house.
Really don't know what can I do
He is treated me with not be able to see my son or keep me updated via phone...
What can I do?
..And carried all her belonging and further took along my cars logbook but I have the car with Me she has so far refused to to engage in any kind of conversion... She only texts me saying I should not forget to take care of the child... But I don't know where she is
Any help please
Where do I stand
I'm not saying she doesn't love them but definitely can't cope with them, most evenings I get a phone call while at work with her on the verge of a mental breakdown because they won't go to sleep. (She is very calculating to make sure it's always a phone call and not a text so I have no written evidence),
Counter to what she says about not stopping me from seeing the kids she is threatening to move halfway across the country with them, clearly a massive contradiction. I have parental responsibility, so what are my options? Would I have a case for custody?
This really isn't for me my ex gf has a daughter with an already married Muslim father they split up 6 months ago.
The daughter was living with her mum rughtup until the father took her on a weeks holiday and upon return told the mother she wasn't going to get her daughter back as it's tradition in Iraq that the child stays with the father bear in mind they are in the uk.
He started telling her she's a useless mum and is no good and can't afford to buys her daughter everything she asks for and has threatened the daughter directly saying he will kill her if she tells social services.
My friend is concerned and dearly misses her daughter she is scared to go to social services in case they take her daughter away from her .
Can he legally do take the daughter under tradition ? is he mentally abusing both the mother and child?
Will the services take the child away from the mother?
he told me that if i dont let him take them he will call the police and that he will apply to have my children 50% of the time.
I really dont know where to turn.
My wife took our two boys to another town .
She told me through her solicitor that if l want to see them l have to contact with her solicitor.
At the moment we have equally custody.
What can l do?
Can I legally remove my daughter from her mums care.
You both work but its not such a problem surely to organise one day a week that is convenient for you both.
Mountains from molehills springs to mind
Me and my ex split last year and he has made it impossible for us to parent together. He took me to court for access to see his daughter even though he was having her every weekend. He now has her every other weekend and her permanent residence is with me. He told the court he doesn't want her in the week!! Anyway after she comes home to me constantly with dirty nappies and her clothes screwed up, bumps and bruises on her, tonight she comes home with a massive lump on her forehead and when I react to it (she was fast asleep in his arms and I swore in shock) he screams at me that I'm a bad parent and he's taking her off me and he'll see me in court?!?! Can he take her from me?
My boyfriend and his ex have 3 kids (2 age 12, and 1 age 9), he has the parental responsibility and we have them 3 days a week.
We want to go away for 10 days after Christmas in December and she is treathing him that if he will go she will take Meagan action to limit his contact with kids. As according to her going away after Christmas is quite " not want to see your kids growing up".
He is A grate father, doesn't drink nor smoke, provides for kids and his ex and clubs etc.
My question is : can she actually limit his contact if there is absolutely no threat to
Kids safety or well being whilst they are with us?
Many thanks,
my ex girlfriend is refusing me to see my 2 year old son, I am on my sons birth certificate. We have separated for approximately 6 weeks, some weeks she will allow me to have him others she will not, and I have now not seen my son for 2 weeks. Although she keeps sending photos of him and ringing with me so I can hear my sons voice then putting the phone down. She is living in our house which I am paying the mortgage for but have now stopped all bills. My ex girlfriend is a heavy cannabis user and is on strong medication for her anxiety. I want to remove my son from her care, but am scared that this will back fire on me! she is also claiming that I am violent towards her when the truth is she is violent towards me. can you help?
Long story short, me and my partner have had a lot of stress this year, lost jobs, financial problems, miscarriage. Tension have been high.
Hot and cold emotionations, one day she'd be making plans for our future, next day she'd be leaving, this going on for months.
I've been primary care for our 4 year old son, his been like a shadow, as she wanted to get back to work. As I'd been the bread winner for other children (not to her) id felt I'd I like to do it.
On Thursday we had a argument about an indiscretion she'd had in the past. Given the "hot, cold, hot, cold, staying, going, staying going" on my way out of the house to carm down on going out I said "know what do what you want, stay, go just do something"
On return house was empty and the child had been taken out of school, bank emptied in Bury (about an hour ish drive).
Am not sure where my son is, but have my suspension. One thing is his still at school.
Then, Friday the non suprising police visit, made up story about abuse, 10 hours in a cell, no charges.
Has what she's done legal? What can I do to get our son back in the family home?
Feel totally let down by the system
Any advice would be appreciated!
He brings her back in dirty nappies which he admitted that he did not change her and doesn't change her clothes what can I do
During the relationship I always provided for her and my child, buying everything he needed. And After we split up, i continued to pay for my child's care, and sent clothes and so on for him.
She allowed me to see him on several occasions, but refused to come to the door and give him to me, and instead left him either standing in the corridor alone (he's 18 months) or sent his 5 year old brother out with him. Both of Which are totally inappropriate and unsafe anywhere but perhaps more especially in a council block of flats with dogs and all sorts of people around.
The last time I saw my son and took him back to his mother after a day out (she won't allow him to stay over with me) he was crying and screaming and clinging onto me and he didn't want to go back into his mothers house.
Since then my ex has blocked my number, and sent a message saying she wouldn't let me see him for the next month.
I contacted a lawyer to act on my behalf and she sent a letter asking my ex to attend mediation. I was hoping to settle this out of court, but My ex simply ignored the letter and does not answer the phone to my lawyer.
I had an appointment for mediation, however as they could not contact my ex I was told that there's nothing they can do as she will not be able to receive legal aid to attend mediation and will probably not pay herself. I said that I would pay her fees, but still have no indication as to how to move forward.
So How do I proceed now ? Shouldn't my lawyer be doing something ? What happens if one parent refuses to attend mediation and ignores all letters from lawyers and so on ? Should I apply for full custody ?
Please advise, as i am so worried about my son, he and I are loosing out on precious time together and I don't know if he's even ok.
Many thanks
Can someone pls help me. I have brought my son up without his dad for 12 years his dad has never had no contact despite the door being left open so to speak. He started seeing him last few months and now he has gone there and not returned. I have parental responsibility and all contact has been stopped no calls txs or visits. He dont want to speak to me yet he went there with no problems kissed an loved me before he left. What do i do?
I let him see boys once a week, but lately he is demanding more and he wants to have them over night yet he is refusing to give me his address. He stopped paying Child maintenance till I let him see boys more often. I don't trust that he is an a good role model for boys. He is manipulating every conversation that we have. He is stressing me out by showing up uninvited and demanding to see boys, or when he have them he is not bringing them on time and arguing that they can spend the night at his even if I didn't agreed. How do I let him have boys more than once a week if he is not a good influence
How to go about it?
How much chance do I have of getting shared custody of the children?
Thanks
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