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When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 17 Aug 2021 | comments*Discuss
 
Contact Court Final Hearing Directions

If your ex-partner says she’s not going to let you have any contact with your children, it can be one of the most distressing things that can happen to you. There may be a number of reasons behind her decision but somehow they’re irrelevant; you simply want to be able to spend time with your kids. So what can you do to change the situation?

Why It Happens

There are several reasons why your ex might deny you access to your children.
  • It could be a bargaining chip for Divorce or legal proceedings yet to come
  • It might be revenge for the break-up of the relationship
  • In some instances, it’s even been used as a way to conceal a new relationship

Denial of contact, as it’s called legally, doesn’t necessarily happen immediately after your relationship ends. It can occur at any time until the child is of age.

What to Do About It

Your first step should be to send a registered letter to your ex-partner in which you ask her to reinstate contact between you and your children. Don't forget to take a copy of the letter for your records and keep your proof of sending. However, remember court is always seen as a last resort and you will usually have to show that you have both attended a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before you can apply.

If this produces no action, and/or your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you have no alternative but to go to court and ask for an Interim Contact Order. In order to obtain a contact order you will need to submit the correct form to the court, find out which form you need Here.

What Does the Interim Contact Order Do?

The interim contact order allows you to have contact with your children until a full court hearing resolves the matter one way or another. If your ex shows no opposition to interim contact, it can be resolved without a court appearance. However, at this stage that’s not likely to be the case.

What Kind of Contact Can you Expect in the Interim?

What you and your solicitor will have to do is remind the court at a “directions hearing” of the length of time before the full hearing will occur. This can often be six months or longer, which can be detrimental to your relationship with your child. In most instances, the court will allow some limited contact between you and your children in the interim, although it’s unlikely to be “staying contact” (allowing the children to stay overnight with you) if the mother objects. She might also demand supervised contact, and the court will generally accede. This all seems heavily weighted towards the mother, even though you might have done nothing wrong. However, it’s a case of the court opting to be cautious.

The Directions Hearing

Prior to the hearing you should inform both the opposing solicitor and the court itself that your side will ask for interim contact and be asking for oral evidence. This will avoid any adjournment. If you’ve had previous contact with your child before you were denied access, especially “staying contact”, you should provide evidence of this to the court, as it will bolster your argument.

The Final Hearing

One of the most important factors preceding the final hearing is the report by the Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. He or she will interview you and your former partner, your children, if they’re old enough, as well as carers and teachers etc. Generally, the court will accept the report’s recommendations regarding custody and contact. If you disagree with the report, either in part or completely, you can ask for more information, or for another report by a different officer.

If You’re Still Denied Access

If your former partner denies you contact in defiance of an order laid down by the court, you can take her to court to demand access. However, before taking this step, think carefully, as it will not only make relations between the two of you worse, but could possibly end up with her fined or in jail, which will have an adverse affect on the children. If at all possible, you should Attempt Mediation first.

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Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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Chris - 17-Aug-21 @ 10:51 PM
My ex and I seperrated whilst she was pregnant though we still kept in contact. I was at the birth and I am on the birth certificate. After the birth over the first 3 years we kinda had an oon/off intimate relationship. I had regular weekly contact at my house sometimes I went to my child's home to look after her if my ex was going out. We went on family outings short family holidays as we both thought this was good for our child to see good family relationship between us. Then the relationship between me & my ex broke down further and we began to find it difficult to communicate my contact became less with my child. My ex began asking who would be there whilst I had my child, where would we be going, what would we be doing ect. My ex began dropping her off late picking her up earlier leaving me little time to do very much with my child. I was then sent to prison for 10months for a driving offence (which I regret) and as we Wer in covid pandemic visiting was difficult though could still happen if it was child visitation but mh ex said no my child can't visit so I tried calling, writing but my ex told me she will never be letting me see my child again. I did keep trying to make contact but never received any reply back throughout my prison sentence duration. Iv been released from prison now I desperately want to see my child but don't want to turn up at her house as I do not want any conflict between us in front if my child at all as it would have a negative impact on her. Since being released from prison I was put in temporary housing to await a council house as I previously lived with my mother who has now moved to a smaller house and I want go rebuild my father/daughter relationship I will be potentially looking at included over night stays aswell therefor I will need a 2 bedroom property hence the reason for being in temporary council accommodation at the minute. I have contacted a family lawyer however although I done this on the day of my release it is 2 weeks before I actually have the lawyer appointment. What should I be doing right now should I perhaps send my ex a recorded delivery letter asking if we can try to put our differences aside for the sake of our child as its clear to me that any inter-parental conflict can negatively impact our child's long term mental health and no child should have to endure the loss of a close parental relationship on one parents decision because they cannot find a level ground between them where the child's best interests are kept at the heart of this situation.a child has the right to have meaningful happy loving family relationship with both parents even if they live with only one parent. My daughter is 4years old now and I haven't had contact for nearly 11months now please I need help and advice whilst I await lawyers appointment.
Will - 17-Aug-21 @ 11:11 AM
My ex and I seperrated whilst she was pregnant though we still kept in contact. I was at the birth and I am on the birth certificate. After the birth over the first 3 years we kinda had an oon/off intimate relationship. I had regular weekly contact at my house sometimes I went to my child's home to look after her if my ex was going out. We went on family outings short family holidays as we both thought this was good for our child to see good family relationship between us. Then the relationship between me & my ex broke down further and we began to find it difficult to communicate my contact became less with my child. My ex began asking who would be there whilst I had my child, where would we be going, what would we be doing ect. My ex began dropping her off late picking her up earlier leaving me little time to do very much with my child. I was then sent to prison for 10months for a driving offence (which I regret) and as we Wer in covid pandemic visiting was difficult though could still happen if it was child visitation but mh ex said no my child can't visit so I tried calling, writing but my ex told me she will never be letting me see my child again. I did keep trying to make contact but never received any reply back throughout my prison sentence duration. Iv been released from prison now I desperately want to see my child but don't want to turn up at her house as I do not want any conflict between us in front if my child at all as it would have a negative impact on her. Since being released from prison I was put in temporary housing to await a council house as I previously lived with my mother who has now moved to a smaller house and I want go rebuild my father/daughter relationship I will be potentially looking at included over night stays aswell therefor I will need a 2 bedroom property hence the reason for being in temporary council accommodation at the minute. I have contacted a family lawyer however although I done this on the day of my release it is 2 weeks before I actually have the lawyer appointment. What should I be doing right now should I perhaps send my ex a recorded delivery letter asking if we can try to put our differences aside for the sake of our child as its clear to me that any inter-parental conflict can negatively impact our child's long term mental health and no child should have to endure the loss of a close parental relationship on one parents decision because they cannot find a level ground between them where the child's best interests are kept at the heart of this situation.a child has the right to have meaningful happy loving family relationship with both parents even if they live with only one parent. My daughter is 4years old now and I haven't had contact for nearly 11months now please I need help and advice whilst I await lawyers appointment.
Will - 17-Aug-21 @ 11:11 AM
My ex and I seperrated whilst she was pregnant though we still kept in contact. I was at the birth and I am on the birth certificate. After the birth over the first 3 years we kinda had an oon/off intimate relationship. I had regular weekly contact at my house sometimes I went to my child's home to look after her if my ex was going out. We went on family outings short family holidays as we both thought this was good for our child to see good family relationship between us. Then the relationship between me & my ex broke down further and we began to find it difficult to communicate my contact became less with my child. My ex began asking who would be there whilst I had my child, where would we be going, what would we be doing ect. My ex began dropping her off late picking her up earlier leaving me little time to do very much with my child. I was then sent to prison for 10months for a driving offence (which I regret) and as we Wer in covid pandemic visiting was difficult though could still happen if it was child visitation but mh ex said no my child can't visit so I tried calling, writing but my ex told me she will never be letting me see my child again. I did keep trying to make contact but never received any reply back throughout my prison sentence duration. Iv been released from prison now I desperately want to see my child but don't want to turn up at her house as I do not want any conflict between us in front if my child at all as it would have a negative impact on her. Since being released from prison I was put in temporary housing to await a council house as I previously lived with my mother who has now moved to a smaller house and I want go rebuild my father/daughter relationship I will be potentially looking at included over night stays aswell therefor I will need a 2 bedroom property hence the reason for being in temporary council accommodation at the minute. I have contacted a family lawyer however although I done this on the day of my release it is 2 weeks before I actually have the lawyer appointment. What should I be doing right now should I perhaps send my ex a recorded delivery letter asking if we can try to put our differences aside for the sake of our child as its clear to me that any inter-parental conflict can negatively impact our child's long term mental health and no child should have to endure the loss of a close parental relationship on one parents decision because they cannot find a level ground between them where the child's best interests are kept at the heart of this situation.a child has the right to have meaningful happy loving family relationship with both parents even if they live with only one parent. My daughter is 4years old now and I haven't had contact for nearly 11months now please I need help and advice whilst I await lawyers appointment.
Will - 17-Aug-21 @ 11:06 AM
My ex and I seperrated whilst she was pregnant though we still kept in contact. I was at the birth and I am on the birth certificate. After the birth over the first 3 years we kinda had an oon/off intimate relationship. I had regular weekly contact at my house sometimes I went to my child's home to look after her if my ex was going out. We went on family outings short family holidays as we both thought this was good for our child to see good family relationship between us. Then the relationship between me & my ex broke down further and we began to find it difficult to communicate my contact became less with my child. My ex began asking who would be there whilst I had my child, where would we be going, what would we be doing ect. My ex began dropping her off late picking her up earlier leaving me little time to do very much with my child. I was then sent to prison for 10months for a driving offence (which I regret) and as we Wer in covid pandemic visiting was difficult though could still happen if it was child visitation but mh ex said no my child can't visit so I tried calling, writing but my ex told me she will never be letting me see my child again. I did keep trying to make contact but never received any reply back throughout my prison sentence duration. Iv been released from prison now I desperately want to see my child but don't want to turn up at her house as I do not want any conflict between us in front if my child at all as it would have a negative impact on her. Since being released from prison I was put in temporary housing to await a council house as I previously lived with my mother who has now moved to a smaller house and I want go rebuild my father/daughter relationship I will be potentially looking at included over night stays aswell therefor I will need a 2 bedroom property hence the reason for being in temporary council accommodation at the minute. I have contacted a family lawyer however although I done this on the day of my release it is 2 weeks before I actually have the lawyer appointment. What should I be doing right now should I perhaps send my ex a recorded delivery letter asking if we can try to put our differences aside for the sake of our child as its clear to me that any inter-parental conflict can negatively impact our child's long term mental health and no child should have to endure the loss of a close parental relationship on one parents decision because they cannot find a level ground between them where the child's best interests are kept at the heart of this situation.a child has the right to have meaningful happy loving family relationship with both parents even if they live with only one parent. My daughter is 4years old now and I haven't had contact for nearly 11months now please I need help and advice whilst I await lawyers appointment.
Will - 17-Aug-21 @ 11:06 AM
Cafcass caseworker highlighted in brackets a very damaging remark in her safeguarding letter she made out some thing that never happened, She contradicts her remark, right after it by saying Local Authority took no further action after the assessment, But she still highlights the damaging remark? Her report was so biased towards my wife, at the moment Cafcass case is closed I have made complaints about the caseworker but seem to fell on deaf ears, hopefully the District Judge will look into the assessment that was done in 2008 by the local authority to see the truth, & not what the Cafcass remark is putting to the Court, obviously a social service assessment was done back in 2008 & no further action was taken at the time, So why is she bringing it up 13 years later in her safeguarding report? Hopefully this Cafcass caseworker will not be asked by the District Judge do another report later on in the case otherwise I don't think I will get contact with my kids.
Gazza - 29-Jul-21 @ 9:19 AM
Hi, I divorced at 2002 of my husband, and I have twins, they was born in England , when they were 2 years old me and my x , divorced , I’m Iranian and that time we lived at Iran, then he took my child to london , and I Haden’s any acces to them , no phon no contact, nothing , now they are 20 years old, I don’t know how I get my right, I should claim on their father or no? What I do?
Rana - 24-Jul-21 @ 11:04 PM
My 1st child was the result of a relationship with a married woman. She decided to stay with her husband so I missed out on the early bonding period being at the birth while they tried to pretend at playing happy families.I was a bit broken after all she had said that she decided on staying.Unsurprisingly their marriage didn't last and I had some access but by then I was married and started my own family and I just didn't have the same bond as with my children .I also found it hard as my wife wasn't happy and my 1st son has his mother's eyes and brought back many emotions.Eventually contact was lost again which is my fault for not making a greater effort to ignore my wife's reminstrations and over come my feeling that my sons mum had chosen her ex husband to provide for them not me.Later my sons mum asked came asking for money, but one of my children requires extra support so I was already stretched financially and still felt she had made her choice to stay with her husband as he was a bigger earner than me.Obviously she and my son both blame me though I feel my lack of involvement is largely driven by not having that early engagement I had with my youngest 2.I would love for at least my 3 kids to have some relationship and my part on let my son down has played a part in the depression I have suffered, but hard to know my best way foward.
Gaz - 15-Jul-21 @ 9:34 AM
My 1st child was the result of a relationship with a married woman. She decided to stay with her husband so I missed out on the early bonding period being at the birth while they tried to pretend at playing happy families.I was a bit broken after all she had said that she decided on staying.Unsurprisingly their marriage didn't last and I had some access but by then I was married and started my own family and I just didn't have the same bond as with my children .I also found it hard as my wife wasn't happy and my 1st son has his mother's eyes and brought back many emotions.Eventually contact was lost again which is my fault for not making a greater effort to ignore my wife's reminstrations and over come my feeling that my sons mum had chosen her ex husband to provide for them not me.Later my sons mum asked came asking for money, but one of my children requires extra support so I was already stretched financially and still felt she had made her choice to stay with her husband as he was a bigger earner than me.Obviously she and my son both blame me though I feel my lack of involvement is largely driven by not having that early engagement I had with my youngest 2.I would love for at least my 3 kids to have some relationship and my part on let my son down has played a part in the depression I have suffered, but hard to know my best way foward.
Gaz - 14-Jul-21 @ 4:15 PM
@big t .the solicitor will sort it out within the family courts .I didnt go down the legal route I was a young fella when I went though all this didnt really know much back then .but I missed out on so much off my daughter life she is a adult now .but yeah I never took her camping or taught her how to ride bike shoot guns i really wanted to.but that what happens when you knock up the local prostitute .
Paul - 10-Jul-21 @ 6:06 PM
My ex partner has run off from Scotland to England with my 2 boy's aged 15 weeks and 23 month old, im only on the youngest child's birth certificate,she is saying she's fleeing domestic violence, emotional abuse, controlling behaviour and financial distress,none of it is true, we argue over her insecurities over cheating, ive left jobs, churches and England to so she dont think I cheat, I was 110% commited, we've had domestic violence over a year ago, but nothing since, im doing the court order I was put on and doing great with it, I was having my boys at my house on my own before I splitt with her 2 weeks ago, once I splitt up she bolted with my boys, blocked contact and run off to England,social work report's are all amazing and positive and we was taken off the at risk register with my eldest, they all stay i was a good father, my ex is saying this to hurt me, any advice, ive got a solicitor appointment Thursday
Big T - 10-Jul-21 @ 12:24 PM
Funny not been able to get a response from the Carcass caseworker because initially I kept the brief phone call strictly about my kids & contact never mentioned any safeguarding concerns about the Wife or her Mother who cares for my kids, But I the Wife has made Domestic Abuse allegations also mentioned my Mental Health & treatment, So I sent the Court & Cafcass my Health records, yesterday I phoned my Kids Schools ask them about reports as I have no contact see how there doing? The School tell me my 11yr old twin daughters have said they don't want to see me? I find this rather odd as av not had any contact either by phone or seen them since April 11th but I have a email from the wife dated April 16th saying the Kids all wanted to start trying to see me on my own, So I am confused to why my twins would now be telling the School they don't want to see me? My guess the Mother or Mother in law been in their heads, So I sent the Carcass caseworker because a txt & a copy of my wife's email to show her I also told the caseworker in a txt I had concerns about the Mother in Law but never told her what they were in the txt I also told her i have things that could show that my wife is has been deceitful in the past so as to debunk her Domestic abuse allegations, & guess what after weeks trying to get a reply from Carcass she rings me this morning, I would not lower myself to resort to what my wife is doing this was about contact with my kids nothing else, But goes to show you what Carcass are about be very careful.
Gazza - 23-Jun-21 @ 1:09 PM
She got something right my hatred for these people is for life (gods truth).I did reject this child gods truth because off the (mother) .in reality I’m ashamed to have ever associated with her .I was happy to sign over parental responsibility when the child was 5 that’s gods truth .
Chris - 22-Jun-21 @ 7:53 PM
I just read in the forum ,I set record straight I’m (not hiding )I’m not lost or trapped or suffering mental health.in reality I want nothing to do with my family or the mother offthis teenager and the teenager herself .I just want to live (my life )my way sounds like a cliche but it’s the truth I’m happy with how I live .(I got nothing to say to these people).they (hurt me )enough in the past (damage) is done it’s not repairable not now and (never )will be .it’s my personality it is what is .
Chris - 22-Jun-21 @ 7:41 PM
So yeah I’m signing out for good.in (reality )I have no room in my life for a 17 year old girl .and honestly think it be to (traumatic on the teenager and myself) what would she be thinking who is this stranger .I know I would be thinking it if I was her .(in reality I couldn’t think off anything worse sitting in the same room with this teenager that awkward silence and the stupid small talk that would be a nightmare for me .f that it’s been to long now it’s weird .
Chris - 20-Jun-21 @ 10:14 PM
If her mother feels awkward because she was in a relationship with (Gordon and Jacob .that’s on her ).i don’t care I’m just glad I’m not with her any more .and I have decided (obviously) with the girls age . That I won’t betaking her to court .so yeah I guess i did do what(Timmy did) .and not be like the rest off my family all friends with ex hanging out been chums having a coffee giving baby advice and going joint holidays together .oh well it is what is I think (I’m normal )and they messed up mother f ers .
Chris - 20-Jun-21 @ 9:20 PM
I’m a Aussie who has never been allowed to see my daughter she 17 now all grown up . Last time I seen her she was 5 so in reality there would be significant changes from the little girl I new .sad to say but I could walk past her in the street I wouldn’t Recognise her .all I have is (one very old photo when she was a infant).I don’t even know what she looks like now .(but I think it’s normal every guy I know doesn’t see there children )except (my family )but they are (weird) I never seen it before like (my cousins )they are friends with there ex wife’s and co Parent likening each other’s posts on Facebook even go to bbq at each other house and even attended each other weddings and baby naming parties(yeah odd ).but hey we come from a very (dysfunctional family )we make the Manson family look good . Terrible To say but it’s the truth.
Chris - 20-Jun-21 @ 8:40 PM
My Aussie son in Scotland is divorced and has been seeing (sharing) his six-year-old daughter for three years without any problem. But five months ago he told his ex that he would not be allowing her request to move to Corsica with the daughter. (Yep, there's a boyfriend, who happens to be a mercenary). She has now cut off virtually all access to the father. She and her lawyer are even ignoring requests from his lawyer to mediate. Court papers will be lodged tomorrow. We have had to do fundraising for this. The court will find in his favour, as there are no issues, apart from her bad behaviour. What happens if she still doesn't comply? Many thanks.
Doc - 20-Jun-21 @ 9:40 AM
Is that you Sam says I am severely autistic and a alcoholic what other accusations you going to say about me ?(I find it funny ).I never bad mouthed you I told people the truth and was honest.now if that upsets people hey as the old saying goes truth hurts .and Sam you don’t have to feel awkward penny forgives you and said there always beds at her house if you and Gordon want to rekindle the flame .you could make a weekend out off it after seeing Gordon you pop around and see Jacob then you even could go see big Tyson for old times .the boys miss you .
Chris - 19-Jun-21 @ 5:32 PM
My wife soon to be ex has resorted to being awkward again my niece same age as my wife phoned her asked her if she could ask my 5 kids to sign a Fathers Day Card she said No she couldn't & it's down to the Family Courts the mind boggles with her petty behaviour as her & my Neice where close & have stayed amicable my Neice was upset I told her not to worry she was trying to do something nice for me & the Kids, My Wife in the meantime popped around to my best mates as she is friends with his Mrs & passed a card my youngest 7 year old Daughter had done in School the same day my Neice phoned her? Made up with my card from my princess, But the Wife starting to show her true colours she made allegations of Domestic abuse I said nothing to the Cafcass regretting it now as I have a lot of Safeguarding issues on my wife Mum who is down as Carer for my severely autistic 9 yr old boy & her mother has sent vile drunken rants in what's app txts to me & bad mouthed me to friends in public also a alcholic who actually stabbed her ex my wife father in front of my wife & her siblings when they where kids, I also have proof of my wife being deceitful involved in Benefit Fraud & Insurance Fraud, but am not about stooping to her level I tried Medaition then applied to Court kept this about the Kids, I also have struggled to get in touch with the Cafcass caseworker I have had to send Mental Health & treatment records to Cafcass website because the caseworker does not answer her phone gave me no email address to send my records sorry but I have a feeling this Cafcass caseworker seems to me unprofessional, My Mental health anxiety depression has only started since my wife ended our Marriage back in November 2020 the records show this so don't know why she playing that card either? Also no mention of Domestic abuse in her reasons for Divorce? & she had let be alone with my kids back when we first broke up until January then started to be controlling with visitation having my Sister be with me & her friend also going to a local community center on a Monday with my youngest all because i said to one of my 11yr old twin daughter in the car could we not mention her mum's best friend as my daughter went home was told her Mum I never seen my twins from mid January until mid March they seen me up til April 11th then I get a email from the wife saying all the kids want to try to see me on my own but could I be positive & not say men tion their Nan or her best friend, I was livid I thought she can't handle the thought your not in control anymore that's why she said that it should have been the start of me seeing the kids as a father should, But her mother had bad mouthed me to a friend about a month before so I was fuming my wife would say don't mention her Mum? I had kept it to myself about her Mum bad mouthing me in public as I was seeing the kids regular even though it was supervised & phone calls so did not want to rock the boat, I emailed my wife told her i was goin
Gazza - 19-Jun-21 @ 2:57 PM
I am dad off one teenager girl I was young and wasn’t really ready for parenthood .and I had a (terrible relationship) with her mother both (extremely unhappy )where just the sight off her or sound off her voice would irritate me .and I would put my hand up for out off town work just to (get away) and be with the boys having a counter meal and Tinny .but should off went to court for visitation because (I do love this kid .been 13 years and still bothers me so that’s now I know I should off went to court) .in hindsight if I did go to court I think both our life’s would off turned out different.but it is what is .
Clarence - 16-Jun-21 @ 6:08 PM
Hi I'm a dad of 4 one my oldest girl I went to court to but after 5 years it all stopped the mother had made out for the last 5 year she don't want to see me and now I've got it ten time worse my 3 boys who are 4,5,6 have been stopped seeing me the mother works for the child care so she know what she is doing she put a order on me fir 6 months claiming she afair of me and and in danger apart fir row that's is all I've ever done to her I'm now trying to fight its all in court but its a waiting game up to 4-6weeks even more with out seeing them one of sons has adhd and his life has been mess right up like all the other dads on here I'm at breaking point there happy to take your money for the kids but won't let you see them I love my kids with all my hart just hope I see you again soon boys ?
Disco1986 - 16-Jun-21 @ 3:04 PM
After looking at a (photo off this teenager with a clear mind) ,I can tell she is not my child now from the teenagers (features) a guy can tell even though I haven’t got the DNA test. I feel like goose now I honestly thought I was a father .the lies women tell to men it’s bloody wrong and causes mental problems when people lie about something big like that. But I have pulled myself together now .and realise I did nothing wrong and now understand why I never got hit child support.you be surprised what you learn and come to a understanding when you actually see a photo .
Sam - 12-Jun-21 @ 2:19 AM
Hi as I said earlier my Wife refused mediation as I guessed so it's gone to Court I kept it about the Kids when Cafcass phoned me but I had a letter from the Court yesterday & the Wife has made allegations of domestic abuse so it's going to fact finding hearing she had said it was the children's desicion to want someone there when I seen them but now has made allegations of domestic abuse it's strange she never mentioned it for the reasons in her Divorce & she had let me be alone with the Kids when she broke up with me in November 2020 until January 2021 since I said to my Daughter about not mentioning my wife's friend back in January my Wife has controlled my time with the Kids & since April 11th I have not had any contact or phone calls from my kids? I tried it does not look like things will go in my favour I will not be controlled by my wife were my kids are concerned I have looked after them since birth, I kept my dignity through this nightmare over the last 8 months so hopefully one day my kids we will see each other again? My real concern is my 9 year old Son who is severly autistic I may never see again. A Father who has been alienated by his ex
Gazza - 11-Jun-21 @ 8:33 PM
Hi guys, going through the same thing as most , i have a court order but my ex as stopped contact. Really want to fight it but shes a social worker and know what cards and lies to play,love my 2 girlsso much but deep down i feel i will never get a fair chance in court.I wish you all well and reading the forum at least as shown me im not alone there are so many good dads hurting and not just me. Stay safepaul
Jota13# - 6-Jun-21 @ 11:16 PM
@tony.though my experience it’s best to stay quiet if you been though the courts for violence .you don’t have chance in my opinion don’t speak up you just get more trouble .as hard as it is not seeing your child mate I can tell you it does (get better )as years roll on .
C laurie - 27-May-21 @ 11:32 PM
@tony.I had to walk away and delete this child from my memory.I didn’t have any other options.the courts ruled I was a threat to my daughter and a violent person and yes it was a female judge .so what can you do then nothing . My solicitor at the time said we can go back and try again if I do courses and then I (might) get supervised contact.I was like nah I’m done .it was meant to be this way he then asked if I’m sure I said 100 percent and the rest history .
C laurie - 27-May-21 @ 10:01 PM
Yes it’s a common theme throughout modern day divorces .Ex-wife’s or soon to be ex wife’s denying contact ,alienating children against their fathers .False claims of abuse and such nonsense .The courts and laws are a big part of the problem .Child support and alimony are vigorously enforced by the courts though a father has to fight to see his children with his rights being swept asidenonchalantly.I’m going through this right now .Over a year now and no .meaningful contact .I’ve seen how the system works .Thousands of dollars spent and many court visits a biased female judge .At this point I have decided to walk away .Even if I do get some custody /visitation it’s not adequate for a proper father /child relationship.I have read some of the comments and many mirror my own .I think men remain silent as a whole in these matters .Enough is enough ! It’s time for laws to be changed .I shouldn’t have to provein court that I’m a good father just because I’m getting divorced .Women can receive child support payments and head down to the liquor store and spend every cent with no official oversight .Why are financials enforced and a mans right to see his kidsseen as a distraction in court .Double standard .There should be a division of government set up to ensure a fathers ’s rights to see his kids are enforced just as equally as his financial obligations are ..Fathers are not treated equally in the court system .Time for our voices to be heard !
Tony - 25-May-21 @ 9:48 PM
I've got a child arrangement order, I've not seen my children for over a year and a half, my ex was making my babies suffer for seeing me and I kept getting threatening letters from her solicitor, I was driven to deep depression where it became dangerous for me. The final straw was seeing my girl wet herself in my car as I was driving her home, I realised that my ex was launching an Inquisition on them each time I had them, I did the kindest thing I could think to do, kissed them all goodbye and told them that one day we'll meet again, my love for them outweighs my need to see them. It has driven me to the edge of my life more than once, I miss them so much, everyday I have to get up and find the motivation to keep moving forwards, my job is not very nice, its very dangerous and often I get hurt really badly by other people just to earn a crust so I can pay the maintenance, (I'm security officer)i found peace in knowing that no matter what I love them, no one can touch that, no one can take that from me. I'm desperate, just hold them, just to tell them its not their fault, to remind them that I love them and that's never ever changed. I pray to God that one day all those involved in this awful mess will be shown the suffering they've caused. So to my beautiful babies daddy loves you and to my ex you're forgiven, I leave it with God x
Broken heart 1987 - 19-May-21 @ 5:02 AM
Joke website really. Let’s worry about the mum not having contact if she goes to jail but not if the dad can’t see the kids. There has to be some protections put in place for dads who are denied contact or have their children alienated against them
Alienated father - 12-May-21 @ 7:15 AM
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