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When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 21 Mar 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Contact Court Final Hearing Directions

If your ex-partner says she’s not going to let you have any contact with your children, it can be one of the most distressing things that can happen to you. There may be a number of reasons behind her decision but somehow they’re irrelevant; you simply want to be able to spend time with your kids. So what can you do to change the situation?

Why It Happens

There are several reasons why your ex might deny you access to your children.
  • It could be a bargaining chip for Divorce or legal proceedings yet to come
  • It might be revenge for the break-up of the relationship
  • In some instances, it’s even been used as a way to conceal a new relationship

Denial of contact, as it’s called legally, doesn’t necessarily happen immediately after your relationship ends. It can occur at any time until the child is of age.

What to Do About It

Your first step should be to send a registered letter to your ex-partner in which you ask her to reinstate contact between you and your children, and stating that if she does not do so, you’ll have to resort to legal action. Don't forget to take a copy of the letter for your records and keep your proof of sending.

If this produces no action, you have no alternative but to go to court and ask for an Interim Contact Order. In order to obtain a contact order you will need to submit the correct form to the court, find out which form you need Here.

What Does the Interim Contact Order Do?

The interim contact order allows you to have contact with your children until a full court hearing resolves the matter one way or another. If your ex shows no opposition to interim contact, it can be resolved without a court appearance. However, at this stage that’s not likely to be the case.

What Kind of Contact Can you Expect in the Interim?

What you and your solicitor will have to do is remind the court at a “directions hearing” of the length of time before the full hearing will occur. This can often be six months or longer, which can be detrimental to your relationship with your child. In most instances, the court will allow some limited contact between you and your children in the interim, although it’s unlikely to be “staying contact” (allowing the children to stay overnight with you) if the mother objects. She might also demand supervised contact, and the court will generally accede. This all seems heavily weighted towards the mother, even though you might have done nothing wrong. However, it’s a case of the court opting to be cautious.

The Directions Hearing

Prior to the hearing you should inform both the opposing solicitor and the court itself that your side will ask for interim contact and be asking for oral evidence. This will avoid any adjournment. If you’ve had previous contact with your child before you were denied access, especially “staying contact”, you should provide evidence of this to the court, as it will bolster your argument.

The Final Hearing

One of the most important factors preceding the final hearing is the report by the Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. He or she will interview you and your former partner, your children, if they’re old enough, as well as carers and teachers etc. Generally, the court will accept the report’s recommendations regarding custody and contact. If you disagree with the report, either in part or completely, you can ask for more information, or for another report by a different officer.

If You’re Still Denied Access

If your former partner denies you contact in defiance of an order laid down by the court, you can take her to court to demand access. However, before taking this step, think carefully, as it will not only make relations between the two of you worse, but could possibly end up with her fined or in jail, which will have an adverse affect on the children. If at all possible, you should Attempt Mediation first.

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The Separated Dads Forum is a place where you can discuss relevant issues and concerns including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or just have a general chat with other dads.

Please help us launch it and make it a great resource for dads going through difficult times. We hope to see you on the Forum soon....

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[Add a Comment]
Lib - Your Question:
So, I have a friend of mine staying with me and hes being denied access to his daughter who he has previously had access and custody of, she wants to go through supervised visits in a centre but has yet to contact them after several months, as our local contact centre needs referal we cant just ring them up ourselves to arrange. What would be our next step we want to try and avoid court as things could go bad and many sour subject brought up that could look unpleasent to both parties. Mediation would be a good option but then it depends on if she agrees and I feel like nothing would come out of it.Is there anything stating she has a certain amount of time to contact the centre for access?

Our Response:
Court is seen as the last resort if mediation breaks down. If your friend does not wish to pursue the matter through court (if he thinks his ex is trying to stall), then he has few options left. It sounds like his ex is holding all the cards and she knows it and is using delay tactics to halt access. While mediation could be suggested if communications have broken down, if his ex refuses the only other option would be to challenge her decision through court.
SeparatedDads - 22-Mar-17 @ 11:54 AM
So, i have a friend of mine staying with me and hes being denied access to his daughter who he has previously had access and custody of,she wants to go through supervised visits in a centre but has yet to contact them after several months, as our local contact centre needs referal we cant just ring them up ourselves to arrange. What would be our next step we want to try and avoid court as things could go bad and many sour subject brought up that could look unpleasent to both parties. Mediation would be a good option but then it depends on if she agrees and i feel like nothing would come out of it. Is there anything stating she has a certain amount of time to contact the centre for access?
Lib - 21-Mar-17 @ 7:02 PM
Minijimbob- Your Question:
If my ex partner refuses to let me see my child, I've been told that by law I am entitled to refuse to pay child maintenance as I've not refused to see my child, is this true, as I can't afford to go courts or get a solicitor thanks

Our Response:
You cannot refuse to pay child maintenance. Child maintenance and child access are two separate issues and not dependent upon each other i.e whether you see your child or not, every non-resident parent is responsible by law for paying child maintenance. If you withdraw child maintenance you may be subjected to arrears. If you cannot afford legal fees to take the matter to court, you can self-litigate - please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 21-Mar-17 @ 12:48 PM
If my ex partner refuses to let me see my child, I've been told that by law I am entitled to refuse to pay child maintenance as I've not refused to see my child, is this true, as I can't afford to go courts or get a solicitor thanks
Minijimbob - 20-Mar-17 @ 6:20 PM
none - Your Question:
I am planing to file divorce, my question here is can she deny access to my 4 kids ages 14,12,07,01 years of old or if it is up to the kids if they want to see their dad or not? and what are my chances to see my childern. And how much per child I have to pay afterwords. Thanks

Our Response:
You can see how much child maintenance you may have to pay via the link here. You don't say whether you have discussed this with your ex or not. If you have and you can't agree, mediation is the next option here. If your ex will not consider mediation and she is refusing to allow you to see the children, then you would have to apply to court. If you have had a good relationship with your children to date, then it is highly likely you will be awarded access through the courts and your ex will have to keep to this agreement. Please also see link here which may be useful to you.
SeparatedDads - 20-Mar-17 @ 11:09 AM
I am planing to file divorce, my question here is can she deny access to my 4 kids ages 14,12,07,01 years of old or if it is up to the kids if they want to see their dad or not? and what are my chances to see my childern. And how much per child i have to pay afterwords.. Thanks
none - 19-Mar-17 @ 1:40 AM
saddad - Your Question:
I'm going through a hard patch with my ex girlfriend, she lived with me and my family after her parents moved from London further up the country in retirement. 4 months before she was due she went to visit her parents for Christmas in 2014, whilst being there she decided she wanted to stay and if I wanted to be part of the new family I would have to leave my own family friends and job behind. after a very difficult decision to join her I found it very hard going from a busy fast paced life in London to a retired mans life living in a rural village an hour away from the nearest city. after searching for the none existent work, as well as trying to adjust to being a young father on my own with just my girlfriend. when our son was born our relationship got worse I was forced to sleep on her dads fishing chair in her parents living room. every time I went to touch my son I was told no and to leave him alone by her parents. now as I new father absolutely over the moon all I wanted to do was hold my pride and joy as any man would. not me though.eventually we broke up and I moved back to London. I started going and seeing him every Saturday meaning I had to leave my house at 5/6am in order to meet his mother at 8/9am that she would never budge on making it harder for me after a week on a building site then a 3/4 hour drive at the crack of dawn. only to get an hour or two with my son to be told his mum has plans. I would be back home by 5pm feeling completely crushed. I even had to meet her at a shopping outlet to buy the clothes she demanded and my time with his was a mcdonalds drive through for an hour.after a few months I became very depressed and began filling my void going to the pub and sadly after months of getting nowhere and being made out to be some kind of scumbag violent drug addict I tried to take my own life as I couldn't take living in such sadness. all I wanted s my little boy. I lost my father when I was 21 after we just made contact again. my ex knew the only thing keeping me going was to be the dad to my son I never had growing up but she has stopped all contact with him. the last time I saw him was his birthday in march 2015 where I travelled with my mother and sister to see how little champ. however as usual that day was cut short just after lunchtime as they had places to be. intact a few weeks after I found a picture taken from my sons birthday mean just 2 hours after id left with a complete stanger holding my son. of course it was her new fella.now my son is days approaching 2 and I still get no where.I've tried calling to find I've been blocked then when she does call me its short and sweet, so I say to her please don't put the phone down, if we can't talk on the phone ill make the 210mile journey to talk to you face to face. she called the police telling them I was threatening her so now they're watching out and keeping a safety report for her. its a complete jokeduring my battle with depression I

Our Response:
I'm sorry to hear this. But you do have several options to apply for access to your child. Really, it would have been more beneficial to apply to court the moment your ex began to freeze you out. The courts do want fathers to have relationships with their children - despite what you may think. But, pestering your ex directly is not going to help, in fact as you have shown, it can have an adverse effect. If you have had a large gap of not seeing your child, then you would have to possibly begin with having supervised access and hopefully leading to unsupervised access in time. I suggest you join our forum where many other dads who have been through similar situations can advise you on what you should do next. It will also help to give you some moral and emotional support here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 16-Mar-17 @ 11:52 AM
I'm going through a hard patch with my ex girlfriend, she lived with me and my family after her parents moved from London further up the country in retirement. 4 months before she was due she went to visit her parents for Christmas in 2014, whilst being there she decided she wanted to stay and if I wanted to be part of the new family I would have to leave my own family friends and job behind. after a very difficult decision to join her I found it very hard going from a busy fast paced life in London to a retired mans life living in a rural village an hour away from the nearest city. after searching for the none existent work, as well as trying to adjust to being a young father on my own with just my girlfriend. when our son was born our relationship got worse I was forced to sleep on her dads fishing chair in her parents living room. every time I went to touch my son I was told no and to leave him alone by her parents. now as I new father absolutely over the moon all I wanted to do was hold my pride and joy as any man would. not me though... eventually we broke up and I moved back to London. I started going and seeing him every Saturday meaning I had to leave my house at 5/6am in order to meet his mother at 8/9am that she would never budge on making it harder for me after a week on a building site then a 3/4 hour drive at the crack of dawn. only to get an hour or two with my son to be told his mum has plans. I would be back home by 5pm feeling completely crushed. I even had to meet her at a shopping outlet to buy the clothes she demanded and my time with his was a mcdonalds drive through for an hour. after a few months I became very depressed and began filling my void going to the pub and sadly after months of getting nowhere and being made out to be some kind of scumbag violent drug addict I tried to take my own life as I couldn't take living in such sadness. all I wanted s my little boy. I lost my father when I was 21 after we just made contact again. my ex knew the only thing keeping me going was to be the dad to my son I never had growing up but she has stopped all contact with him. the last time I saw him was his birthday in march 2015 where I travelled with my mother and sister to see how little champ. however as usual that day was cut short just after lunchtime as they had places to be...... intact a few weeks after I found a picture taken from my sons birthday mean just 2 hours after id left with a complete stanger holding my son... of course it was her new fella.. now my son is days approaching 2 and I still get no where. I've tried calling to find I've been blocked then when she does call me its short and sweet, so I say to her please don't put the phone down, if we can't talk on the phone ill make the 210mile journey to talk to you face to face. she called the police telling them I was threatening her so now they're watching out and keeping a safety report for her. its a complete joke during my battle with depressionI
saddad - 15-Mar-17 @ 3:59 PM
I'm going through a hard patch with my ex girlfriend, she lived with me and my family after her parents moved from London further up the country in retirement. 4 months before she was due she went to visit her parents for Christmas in 2014, whilst being there she decided she wanted to stay and if I wanted to be part of the new family I would have to leave my own family friends and job behind. after a very difficult decision to join her I found it very hard going from a busy fast paced life in London to a retired mans life living in a rural village an hour away from the nearest city. after searching for the none existent work, as well as trying to adjust to being a young father on my own with just my girlfriend. when our son was born our relationship got worse I was forced to sleep on her dads fishing chair in her parents living room. every time I went to touch my son I was told no and to leave him alone by her parents. now as I new father absolutely over the moon all I wanted to do was hold my pride and joy as any man would. not me though... eventually we broke up and I moved back to London. I started going and seeing him every Saturday meaning I had to leave my house at 5/6am in order to meet his mother at 8/9am that she would never budge on making it harder for me after a week on a building site then a 3/4 hour drive at the crack of dawn. only to get an hour or two with my son to be told his mum has plans. I would be back home by 5pm feeling completely crushed. I even had to meet her at a shopping outlet to buy the clothes she demanded and my time with his was a mcdonalds drive through for an hour. after a few months I became very depressed and began filling my void going to the pub and sadly after months of getting nowhere and being made out to be some kind of scumbag violent drug addict I tried to take my own life as I couldn't take living in such sadness. all I wanted s my little boy. I lost my father when I was 21 after we just made contact again. my ex knew the only thing keeping me going was to be the dad to my son I never had growing up but she has stopped all contact with him. the last time I saw him was his birthday in march 2015 where I travelled with my mother and sister to see how little champ. however as usual that day was cut short just after lunchtime as they had places to be...... intact a few weeks after I found a picture taken from my sons birthday mean just 2 hours after id left with a complete stanger holding my son... of course it was her new fella.. now my son is days approaching 2 and I still get no where. I've tried calling to find I've been blocked then when she does call me its short and sweet, so I say to her please don't put the phone down, if we can't talk on the phone ill make the 210mile journey to talk to you face to face. she called the police telling them I was threatening her so now they're watching out and keeping a safety report for her. its a complete joke during my battle with depressionI
saddad - 15-Mar-17 @ 2:12 PM
As much as I'd like to get to the point, here is a little background behind the trauma I feel everyday. 'My wife and I have been married for 4 years and I left the house a month ago as I could not endure the verbal, emotional and physcological abuse and intimidation any more. We have a 3 year old daughter together for who I moved to the U.K on a Spouse visa and since the day I started working in the U.K provided all the financial, emotional, and domestic support to my wife and my daughter. 2.5 years ago when my wife stopped working in-order to bring up our daughter the abuse, intimidation, allegations started. I kept taking it all in by thinking may be it is a phase and will pass but the intensity and vehemence of abuse only kept increasing. I was threatened several times that she will get my spouse visa revoked and I will not be able to see my daughter. Considering my daughter was the only reason I felt alive I continued to take it all in. In 2015 my wife pounced on me bruising my hand while I was holding my daughter in the other hand (it resulted out of an advice I gave her that she should see her patient (my wife is a medical professional) another day as the patient had not arrived even after 2 hours of the scheduled appointment time and hadn't called or texted and my daughter had just come out of the hospital after being on a life support for 7 days) and as a split second response I pushed my wife as I felt threatened by the way she assaulted while I was still holding my daughter. She reported me to the Police who called me for questioning a few days later, made me wait for several hours and then my wife came forward saying that it was all a misunderstanding. Since that day until the day I moved out she'd keep threatening to implicate me in a made up event.' The real issue now is that I haven't been able to see my daughter and my wife demands unusual amount of money for child maintenance (she was habitual of getting 90% of my salary transferred to the joint account), accuses me of leaving the house (I was told almost everyday to leave the house and she said that I am here because she sponsored my visa) and leaving her and my daughter, at other times she calls me and messages me suggesting we get back together (a few hours after she casts allegations on me through text messages). My wife was married and divorced before, the reasons of which varied when her mother mentioned and when she mentioned about the divorce, has a type A personality (heard her talking to a doctor in NHS and privately.) which is pretty accurate in describing her aggression, tendency to belittle others, and unstable relationships. She accused me of stealing from the house after I left (Thankfully I mustered the courage to approach the police the day I left and sought assistance from the Police when picking up my stuff) and have been spreading lies and allegations about me to various agencies. I have applied for mediation just recently, attended MIAM but I a
RaKa - 13-Mar-17 @ 2:30 PM
AKW - Your Question:
This may be a tricky one because my partner does get access to his daughter, but he's not allowed to bring her to our home because he left her to be with me and she is making sure that their daughter isn't allowed near me or my daughter (who is very close to his daughter, so this has affected her terribly).So, she's causing restrictions as an act of revenge.We are now expecting a baby and his ex has said that their daughter isn't allowed to see the baby when it comes or ever have anything to do with it.Is there anything that can be done so that he can have his daughter here overnight once a week?My daughter misses her terribly and I want my baby to know its other sister.

Our Response:
Your partner can either suggest mediation to his ex, of if she refuses he will have the option to take the matter to court via a Specific Issue Order, please see link here. Unless his ex can give a very good reason why access shouldn't be allowed (not liking you is not a good enough reason) then there is a likelihood the court would allow access and once a court order was in place his ex would have to adhere to it. If your partner cannot afford the legal fees of taking the matter to court he can self-litigate, please see link here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 13-Mar-17 @ 12:54 PM
OK so my boyfriend has a "babymother" and he is 5 now but back in 2011 they we're together she cheated they had sex she called told him she was like any scared person or any dude he said it wasn't his he got into some trouble but she write him while he was locked up but she never sent him pictures just one picture he doesnt have his last name but is kind of named after him the first name has part of his name anywho he was doing for the child when she wanted him to she had her boyfriends he had his girlfriends it wasn't a problem he got into more trouble she was always there he used to talk to him on the phone he said he grew what so a little bond even when she had a boyfriend but this time around she didn't mind you his family reached out to her to see and do for the child he doesn't know none of his family members on his dads side so she resently denied him access to see the child and when she seen him in public she had an attitude gave him her phone number he told her he wanted to get him the next day she didn't even answer the phone he wrote her called her numerous times on Facebook before he seen her she told him lies about her not having a phone what is this call
Kayla - 13-Mar-17 @ 4:49 AM
This may be a tricky one because my partner does get access to his daughter, but he's not allowed to bring her to our home because he left her to be with me and she is making sure that their daughter isn't allowed near me or my daughter (who is very close to his daughter, so this has affected her terribly). So, she's causing restrictions as an act of revenge. We are now expecting a baby and his ex has said that their daughter isn't allowed to see the baby when it comes or ever have anything to do with it. Is there anything that can be done so that he can have his daughter here overnight once a week? My daughter misses her terribly and I want my baby to know its other sister.
AKW - 12-Mar-17 @ 4:57 PM
Hi I really hope you can help. I have a 2 year old son with my ex partner. I ended our relationship about 3 months ago and she has allowed me access to my son at weekends and allows him to stay at my flat. We (obviously) have a very strained relationship - however the reason I ended it was that she was abusive. Both physically and mentally. This is very hard for me to admit. She stopped me from contacting my friends and family and moved us away from anyone I know to live with her parents. She flies into terrible rages and has smashed up TV's Stereos and our house numerous times. She has never had a formal diagnosis (to my knowledge) but I believe that she suffered from personality disorder and delusional paranoia. My ex has a teenage daughter from a previous marriage that she emotionally abuses. I am scared about what she will do to the children now I'm not there all of the time. I want to move on with my life - however my ex is still controlling every aspect of it. She dictates who I can and can't see and where I can and can't go; saying that if I don't do as she says that she will stop access to my son. I have thought about taking legal action but her family have told me straight that they have money and I don't and that anything I do wouldn't make any difference as they would pay a lawyer more than I could ever afford. I honestly don't know what to do.
MPetes - 10-Mar-17 @ 10:08 AM
Leedsdad17 - Your Question:
Hi just after some advice. I'm recently separated from my wife and we have an 18 month old son. Obviously I still want to remain a big part of his life, and am trying to get as much contact as I can. He lives with his mum and has good support from her family. He attends nursery etc near her house so I don't want to disturb that too much but I want to be able to see him. She was always quite controlling and is continuing to be so, there has been a couple of weekends when she's denied access all together but thankfully we seem to be past that. She is now letting me see him on a Saturday between 9am and 2pm. I would like to extend these hours but my main concern is at present she won't let me take him out of the house. I'm happy that I get to see him but it's awkward being in the house with her and I'd also like to take him on fun play dates. Where do I stand in terms of the type of access I get? Is she allowed to set stipulations like this? I have always been a positive father and have no issues around this. She was very controlling around my parents seeing him etc and I've just asked if I can take him out this Saturday so they can see him but had this request denied. How do I proceed? I'm considering writing a letter threatening to apply for a interim contact order if she doesn't give me proper access. Any advice welcomed

Our Response:
When parents separate the first six months or longer (sometimes few years) can be very tricky to negotiate as there are all sorts of emotions and feelings flying around. In your favour you are obviously being very patient and keeping a rational head, but at the same time you also have parental responsibility and therefore in theory equal rights. However, life doesn't always work this way and some primary carers can be very controlling and think they have the upper hand. The page: Developing an Amicable Relationship With Your Ex here may help you further. But you also want to be fair, but firm. Therefore, if your ex is not allowing you to take your child out of the house you may in the first instance wish to suggest mediation as a way of resolving this issue. I don't think going in straight off with an 'interim court order' approach is going to work as I imagine it will just inflame the situation. Plus, in order to be able to take the matter to court, your first have to suggest mediation. I think in this situation I would say; we are either going to have to try to resolve the matter between us, but if you refuse to compromise, as a parent with equal rights to our child I will take the matter to court. You may also wish to seek legal advice and ask your solicitor to write a letter formally suggesting mediation (and/or a court order to follow if she refuses). Try to keep it as level a head as possible if you can - there doesn't have to be rows and infamatory actions in order to get what you wish. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 2-Mar-17 @ 11:49 AM
Tucky - Your Question:
Hi my son is currently in hospital in a bad way, iam already in the process of court proceedings, I am on the birth certificate and would like to no who decided who can visit my son, my ex is saying that she won't let my family in to see him. Can she do this ? Or likewise could I tell her parents there not aloud, any help would be great thanks.

Our Response:
You can request to your ex that you and your family arrange to visit your son at a time when your ex isn't. Telephoning the hospital ward to ask what your visiting rights are if you have parental responsibility of your child may also help. The unfortunate issue here is that you have no 'particular' rights regarding this, nor rights to restrict your ex's parents as she also has PR and as the primary carer can authorise their visitation. I'm afraid this is a tricky situation and I can only suggest you seek legal advice from your solicitor regarding this matter. Much depends upon the circumstances surrounding your court case and the reasons why access has been restricted.
SeparatedDads - 2-Mar-17 @ 10:00 AM
Hi just after some advice. I'm recently separated from my wife and we have an 18 month old son. Obviously I still want to remain a big part of his life, and am trying to get as much contact as I can. He lives with his mum and has good support from her family. He attends nursery etc near her house so I don't want to disturb that too much but I want to be able to see him. She was always quite controlling and is continuing to be so, there has been a couple of weekends when she's denied access all together but thankfully we seem to be past that. She is now letting me see him on a Saturday between 9am and 2pm. I would like to extend these hours but my main concern is at present she won't let me take him out of the house. I'm happy that I get to see him but it's awkward being in the house with her and I'd also like to take him on fun play dates. Where do I stand in terms of the type of access I get? Is she allowed to set stipulations like this? I have always been a positive father and have no issues around this. She was very controlling around my parents seeing him etc and I've just asked if I can take him out this Saturday so they can see him but had this request denied. How do I proceed? I'm considering writing a letter threatening to apply for a interim contact order if she doesn't give me proper access. Any advice welcomed
Leedsdad17 - 1-Mar-17 @ 12:51 PM
Hi my son is currently in hospital in a bad way, iam already in the process of court proceedings, i am on the birth certificate and would like to no who decided who can visit my son, my ex is saying that she won't let my family in to see him. Can she do this ? Or likewise could I tell her parents there not aloud, any help would be great thanks.
Tucky - 1-Mar-17 @ 9:49 AM
Connor - Your Question:
Hi my ex parter and I broke up on bad terms due to her going back to live with her parents, at this one she was 6/7 months pregnant, she got me banned at the hospital and from being there at the birth, my daughter has been born and I am not aloud to see her, I haven't even been sent a picture or told when she was born, I have contacted Jeremy Kyle for help but her family dose not pass on messages, I've called more than enough times to try and resolve this myself but they put the phone down or just tell me that they don't want nothing to do with me, I haven't done a thing wrong in the relationship or out, I don't j is what to do now as I have hit a brick wall, nothing is getting through to her or her family please can you help?

Our Response:
You would have to go through the process laid out in the article. I don't think Jeremy Kyle can help you with an access or contact issue long term. In order to try to resolve the problem, you would need to go through either mediation in the first instance, please see linkhere . If your ex refuses, then you would have to apply to court. If you cannot afford the legal fees, you can self-litigate, please see link here. I would also stop contacting your ex and her family as you could be reported for harassment and this would not help your case to see your child. Your best route is the legal route, as if you are awarded a contact order to see your child,your ex would have to stick to its terms.
SeparatedDads - 28-Feb-17 @ 12:25 PM
Hi my ex parter and I broke up on bad terms due to her going back to live with her parents, at this one she was 6/7 months pregnant, she got me banned at the hospital and from being there at the birth, my daughter has been born and I am not aloud to see her, I haven't even been sent a picture or told when she was born, I have contacted Jeremy Kyle for help but her family dose not pass on messages, I've called more than enough times to try and resolve this myself but they put the phone down or just tell me that they don't want nothing to do with me, I haven't done a thing wrong in the relationship or out, I don't j is what to do now as I have hit a brick wall, nothing is getting through to her or her family please can you help?
Connor - 27-Feb-17 @ 8:22 PM
Miss my daughter - Your Question:
My ex is saying to me that she is going to take my child away of only 8months and change her 2nd name and not let me know where she is etc is she aloud to do this im already going through court for access and she isnt even replying to lawyer letters

Our Response:
If you fear your ex may take your child away without your consent, then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 27-Feb-17 @ 1:00 PM
Byunyip - Your Question:
Hi my ex parten from 2000 wanted me to have nothing to do with my daughter at all I was giving her cash paying for clothes etc up untill 2003 when she moved away I've had no contact at all she wanted nothing from me and up until last week haven't heard from her (I've been searching for years to find my daughter ) then get a letter from csa demanding £250 a week untill arrears are payed off at £12800 pounds they say that they are going to start deducting it from my wages as soon as the next fortnight am self employed but only make 390 a week and have a family of 6 at home to provide for

Our Response:
At some point your ex must have gone to the CSA/CMS and made a claim. If you had ignored letters or for some reason those letters didn't reach you, then you would be liable for arrears. Your only recourse is to appeal or complain, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 27-Feb-17 @ 11:48 AM
Bayder - Your Question:
My ex-wife is threatening to deny me the usual every second weekend with my two teenage children is that legal can she do that?

Our Response:
Do you have a court order in place? If you do, then your ex will be in the breach of the order, please see link here. If there is no court order in place, you would in the first instance have to suggest mediation as an alternative way to come to an resolution if you can't resolve the matter between you. If she refuses mediation, you would have to follow the process in this article and take the matter to court. If you have had long term access to your children, then hopefully this is just a temporary situation and things will get back to normal soon.
SeparatedDads - 27-Feb-17 @ 10:32 AM
My ex is saying to me that she is going to take my child away of only 8months and change her 2nd name and not let me know where she is etc is she aloud to do this im already going through court for access and she isnt even replying to lawyer letters
Miss my daughter - 26-Feb-17 @ 9:35 PM
Hi my ex parten from 2000 wanted me to have nothing to do with my daughter at all I was giving her cash paying for clothes etc up untill 2003 when she moved away I've had no contact at all she wanted nothing from me and up until last week haven't heard from her (I've been searching for years to find my daughter) then get a letter from csa demanding £250 a week untill arrears are payed off at £12800 pounds they say that they are going to start deducting it from my wages as soon as the next fortnight am self employed but only make 390 a week and have a family of 6 at home to provide for
Byunyip - 26-Feb-17 @ 1:38 PM
My ex-wife is threatening to deny me the usual every second weekend with my two teenage children is that legal can she do that?
Bayder - 26-Feb-17 @ 4:39 AM
My sons ex is using our grandson as a bargaining chip. At every visit she changes drop off or collection times and if any of us object she threatens to stop access. My son is in the Royal Navy but travels six hours each way of a weekend to see his (15 month) son. I am reaching the point where I am going to take legal advice. However I am concerned about the backlash. What have others done in this situation
Tracy - 25-Feb-17 @ 3:42 PM
My x wife denied me access to my 3 children totally out of spite and totally because she could do with the help of her enthusiastic new lover a previous friend of mine (as the judge quoted just to antagonise me). Also the simple mathematical fact that the less contact I had the more money she could claim from me. I and my solicitor personally made case history by taking her to court and getting full access and becoming the resident parent. We gave her the same generous contact conditions that we asked for originally for myself which she had refused. She was unhappy with this. She was even more unhappy when she lost csa payments from myself due to me now being the main resident parent. Also she lost her child tax credits and also her working tax credits (not that she'd ever really worked properly). She then lost the child benefit (as this is for the children not her). Finally the csa went after her and awarded me £20 a month for all 3 children which was no where near the £600 I had freely given to her. She never paid a penny and after several years it amounted to £1000s. The csa were going to take her to court but I asked for the case to be dropped as we really didn't need her money or motherly help in any way! 'MY' children are all young successful well settled adults with fantastic personalities who see their mother now whenever they want (which is not very often). So just to show if your heart is in it you can turn the tables on these mothers that use their children as pawns and only have their own interests and finances in mind.
James - 25-Feb-17 @ 2:08 PM
My x wife denied me access to my 3 children totally out of spite and totally because she could do with the help of her enthusiastic new lover a previous friend of mine (as the judge quoted just to antagonise me). Also the simple mathematical fact that the less contact I had the more money she could claim from me. I and my solicitor personally made case history by taking her to court and getting full access and becoming the resident parent. We gave her the same generous contact conditions that we asked for originally for myself which she had refused. She was unhappy with this. She was even more unhappy when she lost csa payments from myself due to me now being the main resident parent. Also she lost her child tax credits and also her working tax credits (not that she'd ever really worked properly). She then lost the child benefit (as this is for the children not her). Finally the csa went after her and awarded me £20 a month for all 3 children which was no where near the £600 I had freely given to her. She never paid a penny and after several years it amounted to £1000s. The csa were going to take her to court but I asked for the case to be dropped as we really didn't need her money or motherly help in any way! 'MY' children are all young successful well settled adults with fantastic personalities who see their mother now whenever they want (which is not very often). So just to show if your heart is in it you can turn the tables on these mothers that use their children as pawns and only have their own interests and finances in mind.
James - 25-Feb-17 @ 2:06 PM
Just a quick question! How many PWC have been given a custodial sentence in England to date for denying access or breaching a contact order?
Tony - 24-Feb-17 @ 1:31 PM
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