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When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 24 Jun 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Contact Court Final Hearing Directions

If your ex-partner says she’s not going to let you have any contact with your children, it can be one of the most distressing things that can happen to you. There may be a number of reasons behind her decision but somehow they’re irrelevant; you simply want to be able to spend time with your kids. So what can you do to change the situation?

Why It Happens

There are several reasons why your ex might deny you access to your children.
  • It could be a bargaining chip for Divorce or legal proceedings yet to come
  • It might be revenge for the break-up of the relationship
  • In some instances, it’s even been used as a way to conceal a new relationship

Denial of contact, as it’s called legally, doesn’t necessarily happen immediately after your relationship ends. It can occur at any time until the child is of age.

What to Do About It

Your first step should be to send a registered letter to your ex-partner in which you ask her to reinstate contact between you and your children. You should state that if she does not do so and will not consider mediation in order to try and resolve the issue, then you’ll have to resort to legal action. Don't forget to take a copy of the letter for your records and keep your proof of sending.

If this produces no action, you have no alternative but to go to court and ask for an Interim Contact Order. In order to obtain a contact order you will need to submit the correct form to the court, find out which form you need Here.

What Does the Interim Contact Order Do?

The interim contact order allows you to have contact with your children until a full court hearing resolves the matter one way or another. If your ex shows no opposition to interim contact, it can be resolved without a court appearance. However, at this stage that’s not likely to be the case.

What Kind of Contact Can you Expect in the Interim?

What you and your solicitor will have to do is remind the court at a “directions hearing” of the length of time before the full hearing will occur. This can often be six months or longer, which can be detrimental to your relationship with your child. In most instances, the court will allow some limited contact between you and your children in the interim, although it’s unlikely to be “staying contact” (allowing the children to stay overnight with you) if the mother objects. She might also demand supervised contact, and the court will generally accede. This all seems heavily weighted towards the mother, even though you might have done nothing wrong. However, it’s a case of the court opting to be cautious.

The Directions Hearing

Prior to the hearing you should inform both the opposing solicitor and the court itself that your side will ask for interim contact and be asking for oral evidence. This will avoid any adjournment. If you’ve had previous contact with your child before you were denied access, especially “staying contact”, you should provide evidence of this to the court, as it will bolster your argument.

The Final Hearing

One of the most important factors preceding the final hearing is the report by the Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. He or she will interview you and your former partner, your children, if they’re old enough, as well as carers and teachers etc. Generally, the court will accept the report’s recommendations regarding custody and contact. If you disagree with the report, either in part or completely, you can ask for more information, or for another report by a different officer.

If You’re Still Denied Access

If your former partner denies you contact in defiance of an order laid down by the court, you can take her to court to demand access. However, before taking this step, think carefully, as it will not only make relations between the two of you worse, but could possibly end up with her fined or in jail, which will have an adverse affect on the children. If at all possible, you should Attempt Mediation first.

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Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
My ex wife and myself split up in October 2015. Since then she has been horrid. Reporting me to the police for harassment when it was her doing the harassing. She has sent nasty picture messages of dead children to my mother saying its her granddaughter. She has not let me see or even speak to my two children since last may. In the latest incident she has been sending nasty messages to my new partner on facebook pretending to be off my oldest child. Is this the normal behaviour of a mither. Us men get bad press about this yet its the mothers who are no saints
Den - 24-Jun-17 @ 8:40 AM
My partner wants me out for no reason she just wants me gone I have 5 children with her and one on the way but I know from the last time she decided she didn't want me there that she stopped me seeing my children it's really hard I just want to be with my children it's awful that the women get there own way all the time she's breaking up a happy family for nothing I have nothing every time she does this she waits till I have been payed from work then does this all the time any help would be great thanks
Bigtoe - 23-Jun-17 @ 12:34 PM
BOBSTER - Your Question:
Morning men. Some details have been changed to potent my identity, silly? Yes. But I'm a cautious man. I don't know where to start other than my ex needs to stop being a bitter, fat, horrible, twisted dog and let me see the kids. We met, was happy, got pregnant. I didn't work for first year as we had more than one baby. When I went to work as a self employed worker working 16/18 hour days. Quiet a drastic change from being home to not being around. Safe to say going back to work was a massive failure, the money was difficult to earn and so I ended up gambling to try and right my wrong. Through guilt and embarrassment I ended up sniffing cocaine and dropping speed balls. Don't ask me why but seemed like and great escape from reality at the time. Safe to say, going back to work ruined my life.Relationship fell apart (gladly) and I moved out which absolutely destroyed me and parts my father left me as a child and I promised myself I would repeat his wrong. After a while of sofa surfing I ended up working for some cowboys doing illegal activities. I knew was I was doing but I was under so much pressure from my ex to produce cash for the kids I went ahead regardless of knowing the police wouldn't be too far behind me.Got arrested for conspiracy to supply class a on two counts. My wannabe middle class ex knew all about the said crime but obviously I didn't throw her under the bus despite the past 9 months of not letting me see the kids regularly. She qas happy to take the proceeds of crime at the time.Came out of prison after 6 months of good behaviour. That was nearly two years about go and since then I've been messed about to the point where I think killing myself is the only qay to escape. Granted I have missed out many parts but I hope you get the jist of what I'm saying. She refused to let me spend fathers day with the kids. She only allows me 2/3 hours to spend with the kids when she allows it. I'm flat broke. Can't afford bread or milk so hoe do I possibly go about take my ex to court for access?Any questions, ask away.

Our Response:
If you cannot afford the legal fees to take the matter to court, please see link here . You may be able to get a reduction of court costs too if you are not working or are on a low income, please see link here. If you are not earning and cannot afford to pay child maintenance, the courts will not use this as an excuse to prevent access. Child maintenance and child access have no bearing on each other.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jun-17 @ 3:37 PM
Morning men. Some details have been changed to potent my identity, silly? Yes. But I'm a cautious man. I don't know where to start other than my ex needs to stop being a bitter, fat, horrible, twisted dog and let me see the kids. We met, was happy, got pregnant. I didn't work for first year as we had more than one baby. When I went to work as a self employed worker working 16/18 hour days. Quiet a drastic change from being home to not being around. Safe to say going back to work was a massive failure, the money was difficult to earn and so I ended up gambling to try and right my wrong. Through guilt and embarrassment I ended up sniffing cocaine and dropping speed balls. Don't ask me why but seemed like and great escape from reality at the time. Safe to say, going back to work ruined my life. Relationship fell apart (gladly) and I moved out which absolutely destroyed me and parts my father left me as a child and I promised myself I would repeat his wrong. After a while of sofa surfing I ended up working for some cowboys doing illegal activities. I knew was I was doing but I was under so much pressure from my ex to produce cash for the kids I went ahead regardless of knowing the police wouldn't be too far behind me. Got arrested for conspiracy to supply class a on two counts. My wannabe middle class ex knew all about the said crime but obviously I didn't throw her under the bus despite the past 9 months of not letting me see the kids regularly. She qas happy to take the proceeds of crime at the time. Came out of prison after 6 months of good behaviour. That was nearly two years about go and since then I've been messed about to the point where I think killing myself is the only qay to escape. Granted I have missed out many parts but I hope you get the jist of what I'm saying. She refused to let me spend fathers day with the kids. She only allows me 2/3 hours to spend with the kids when she allows it. I'm flat broke. Can't afford bread or milk so hoe do I possibly go about take my ex to court for access? Any questions, ask away.
BOBSTER - 19-Jun-17 @ 8:19 AM
Lilly - Your Question:
Hi, my Partner has been struggling to get access to his daughter. Despite his ex living in his house, whilst he pays the mortgage, bills and sends a monthly allowance she won't allow him see her. All while he rents a room so his daughter can be comfortable. She hasn't responded let alone turned up for mediation or court hearings. The court recently granted an order for weekly visitation (in her absence) which we are almost certain she won't comply with. What happens if she does not comply? He wants to get full custody of his daughter. Considering his ex is unemployed and depends on what income he sends her. What chances does he have?

Our Response:
Court orders come with a strict warning to both parents that any breach is held to be in contempt of court, please see link here . It is highly unlikely your partner would be awarded 'custody' as a court will always opt for what it thinks is in the best interests of the child and stability and consistency are considered most important. Neither would the fact your partner's ex is unemployed and financially reliant upon him have any bearing on who should be the primary carer of the child, i.e, finances don't have any bearing on the ability to be the primary carer.
SeparatedDads - 16-Jun-17 @ 2:13 PM
Hi, my Partner has been struggling to get access to his daughter. Despite his ex living in his house, whilst he pays the mortgage, bills and sends a monthly allowance she won't allow him see her. All while he rents a room so his daughter can be comfortable. She hasn't responded let alone turned up for mediation or court hearings. The court recently granted an order for weekly visitation (in her absence) which we are almost certain she won't comply with. What happens if she does not comply? He wants to get full custody of his daughter. Considering his ex is unemployed and depends on what income he sends her. What chances does he have?
Lilly - 2-Jun-17 @ 12:50 PM
Hi, I am seeing my daughter supervised every week for 2 hours. Which is great as I love our time together. I pay maintenance but the contact is 45 an hour if I could afford it all it wouldn't be a problem but I'm falling behind on rent and council tax because of course I am putting my daughter first and she need to know that I will always be there and love her dearly. But how can the court expect you to pay these cost with out means testing you. Is there anything I can do to get help with supervised contact I have 3 months of 90 a week.
Vincent - 31-May-17 @ 12:54 PM
Tubby - Your Question:
Have paid agreed Child Support as stated in a legal Minute of Agreement drawn up as part of our separation in 2011 for both my sons. One son now 18 and left school so payments to him can stop. Ex now wants almost same amount for one son (as she has calculated via CSA £265 (been paying £300+ for both. This doesn't seem fair. Can she go to CSA and override previous legal agreement. Also this is based on amount of time I have my son which is controlled by her- I'm happy to have him more.

Our Response:
As a rule if you're paying for one child, you'll pay 12% of your gross weekly income, two children, 16%. You can see how CMS works calculations out, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 26-May-17 @ 11:41 AM
MR B - Your Question:
Glad to find this site, My case is different, I am in Africa and my wife who is a permanent resident in the USA has denied me access to our two kids for more than a year now. I have always sent upkeep from here to them in the USA but last year I couldn't meet up. Business was bad, even to bring them to Africa was hard. the exchange rate was killing me. After so much argument she flared up and claimed that I have been spending on some other and didn't make them my priority hence she cut me off all communications. she won't pick my calls. she blocked me on every media and my extended family as well. when things improved I sent money and even bought gifts on Amazon and send them to her. No response not even an aknowledgement. I have been to her parents here they keep telling me she is angry and she will get over it. The Embassy wont give me a USA visiting visa as they said am not qualify for it since I have a family here. What can I do, I still do love my wife but right now I doubt if she does love me anymore. I see her action of denying me access to my children a wicked act. Please advise me.

Our Response:
I am glad you have found the site and it has been helpful, but unfortunately as we are a UK-based site with knowledge of only UK family law it is difficult to advise, apert from to say you would need to seek legal advice. If your ex is denying you access and she will not attempt to help resolve the situation, your only option is to take the matter through court. However, this will be costly because of the international divide.
SeparatedDads - 26-May-17 @ 10:56 AM
Have paid agreed Child Support as stated in a legal Minute of Agreement drawn up as part of our separation in 2011 for both my sons. One son now 18 and left school so payments to him can stop. Ex now wants almost same amount for one son(as she has calculated via CSA £265 (been paying £300+ for both. This doesn't seem fair. Can she go to CSA and override previous legal agreement. Also this is based on amount of time I have my son which is controlled by her- I'm happy to have him more.
Tubby - 25-May-17 @ 6:02 PM
Glad to find this site, My case is different, I am in Africa and my wife who is a permanent resident in the USA has denied me access to our two kids for more than a year now. I have always sent upkeep from here to them in the USA but last year I couldn't meet up. Business was bad, even to bring them to Africa was hard. the exchange rate was killing me.After so much argument she flared up and claimed that I have been spending on some other and didn't make them my priority hence she cut me off all communications. she won't pick my calls. she blocked me on every media and my extended family as well. when things improved I sent money and even bought gifts on Amazon and send them to her. No response not even an aknowledgement. I have been to her parents here they keep telling me she is angry and she will get over it. The Embassy wont give me a USA visiting visa as they said am not qualify for it since i have a family here. What can I do, I still do love my wife but right now I doubt if she does love me anymore. I see her action of denying me access to my children a wicked act. Please advise me.
MR B - 25-May-17 @ 3:44 PM
Jasonjaz - Your Question:
You say about courts a lot.what if I been to medation and the ex didnt turn up.so I havent got the money to go to court so whats my options cause I belive there are none.

Our Response:
If you cannot afford legal representation, you can represent yourself, please see link here. If you cannot afford court fees because you are on a low income, please also see link here.
SeparatedDads - 24-May-17 @ 2:14 PM
@Chris - you would have to appeal! :(
Sam - 24-May-17 @ 12:39 PM
You say about courts a lot .what if i been to medation and the ex didnt turn up .so i havent got the money to go to court so whats my options cause i belive there are none .
Jasonjaz - 24-May-17 @ 12:36 PM
What can I do if I'm denied access to my daughter by the courts? CAFCASS did a report that I don't agree with for my final hearing. This matter has been going on for 200 weeks now and the case has been closed with me being denied because my I haven't been in my daughters life for 4 years and CAFCASS say that it will cause too much harm for now as my daughter has negative feelings toward me. The negative feelings she has, have been taught to her by her mum, she was 3 when I left and now 7. I haven't had any influence on her up bringing. I've fought too see her from the day I left.
Chris - 23-May-17 @ 10:17 PM
GD - Your Question:
Hi, my daughter and I have not seen each other for 2-3 years now and the emotional pain is exhausting. The case originally saw myself being granted interim residence when my daughter was 1 yr old as my ex left her on the doorstep in a car seat and left - I refused to hand my daughter back and was supported by the authorities/courts. My ex wormed her way into my softer side and I beleive people deserve a chance, so we eventually settled on shared residence and that is when my problems began. It worked for a while, during the hard slog years of being up at 5am and not being able to eat or go for a pee on your own and then she suddenly stopped enabling this by not dropping my daughter off, so I took it to court ; she didn't turn up. Then again, and again, then eventually got her into court and the judge said she wouldn't reinstate the order. I had to fight for a contact order and go through a contact centre , then eventually got the day every sunday, then my ex got a new boyfriend and seems to want to pretend he's her Dad and has not let me see my daughter.Ive been scared to try to go back to court as was told it was the final hearing and I was quite disgusted with the way the courts told me that the original order/s were not enforceable, so whats the point ? It seems like the industry is making a living on the misery of parents and children and the system is not fit for purpose - It totally broke me and I didn't have the strength to fight it again, knowing I would only be left dissapointed and shunned as a second class parent once again (I truly believe we will look back at this shocking system in 100 years and say I cant believe Fathers were treated like that)I feel weak and beaten but I know I have to go again for the sake of my daughter, I worry that she might have issues when she is older and think I didn't care, but this has made me ill.I earn an average wage and by the time rent and maintenance is paid to both my children's mothers, I break even.Please advise the cheapest way of getting to court as it is so unfair on my daughter.Thank you

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self-litigate, please see link here. Also, if you are on a low income you may be able to get a reduction in court fees, please see link here. You may wish to join our Separated Dads Forum or the likes of Families Need Fathers in order to get free advice and your confidence levels and support to a point where you can fight for the right to see your daughter again. You don't say when the last time was that you went to court over this matter, but the court does want fathers to have a relationship with their children and will do all it can to attempt to make this happen if it thinks it is in the child's best interests. I know it may not seem like it currently, but there will come a day when you can tell your daughter face-to-face that you did all you could to fight for the right to see her.
SeparatedDads - 23-May-17 @ 12:19 PM
Hi, my daughter and I have not seen each other for 2-3 years now and the emotional pain is exhausting.The case originally saw myself being granted interim residence when my daughter was 1 yr old as my ex left her on the doorstep in a car seat and left - I refused to hand my daughter back and was supported by the authorities/courts.My ex wormed her way into my softer side and I beleive people deserve a chance, so we eventually settled on shared residence and that is when my problems began.It worked for a while, during the hard slog years of being up at 5am and not being able to eat or go for a pee on your own and then she suddenly stopped enabling this by not dropping my daughter off, so I took it to court ; she didn't turn up.Then again, and again, then eventually got her into court and the judge said she wouldn't reinstate the order.I had to fight for a contact order and go through a contact centre , then eventually got the day every sunday, then my ex got a new boyfriend and seems to want to pretend he's her Dad and has not let me see my daughter. Ive been scared to try to go back to court as was told it was the final hearing and I was quite disgusted with the way the courts told me that the original order/s were not enforceable, so whats the point ? It seems like the industry is making a living on the misery of parents and children and the system is not fit for purpose - It totally broke me and I didn't have the strength to fight it again, knowing I would only be left dissapointed and shunned as a second class parent once again (I truly believe we will look back at this shocking system in 100 years and say I cant believe Fathers were treated like that) I feel weak and beaten but I know I have to go again for the sake of my daughter, I worry that she might have issues when she is older and think I didn't care, but this has made me ill. I earn an average wage and by the time rent and maintenance is paid to both my children's mothers, I break even. Please advise the cheapest way of getting to court as it is so unfair on my daughter. Thank you
GD - 22-May-17 @ 3:47 PM
Hi. My wife is enjoying the legal merry go round we are on. Recently we agreed to change me having kids every Saturday over nightbto every second weekend. Surprise surprise I do a full weekend with the kids then she tries to change it back to avoid having to deal with them a while weekend as it will interfere in her very busy and newfound social life. I have now been told she is going for supervised access and has lied to the children regarding me taking at the weekend resulting in my 6 year old being allowed to leave me voicemails saying she hates me. Do I cut contact until my lawyer deals with it deal with the abuse I get everytime I collect them
Mikey - 18-May-17 @ 10:19 AM
randomdad2017 - Your Question:
Hi I'm trying to get access to my son he is 2 years old now I have seen him on and off since he was a few months of age but my ex has made it impossible she asked for everything that wasn't possible but every time I couldn't do exsacly as she asked then she would stop me seeing him its been 5 months now I pay for him through csa she has moved on with someone else but still won't let me have any contact what can I do?

Our Response:
You would have to take the advice given in the article, which tells you exactly what you need to do. If you cannot afford paid legal representation to take the matter to court, you can self litigate, please see link here. The courts believe that fathers should have access to their children, so you need to suggest mediation first to your ex in order to try to solve the matter informally and if your ex refuses take the matter to court. You have nothing to lose if you are not seeing your son currently. If a court order is put in place, your ex will have to stick to it.
SeparatedDads - 17-May-17 @ 12:39 PM
Hi I want contact with my 2 children who live with their dad.I have to take it to court myself because I live in the uk and there is no legal aid here now.I want to have contact with my kids can you give me advice I'm filling out court forms I have the c100 signed by the mediation man to put with the court forms.I want to go for contact only.was sell going well after supervised contact had contact outside with them but then I moved and didn't let his wife have P.R of the 2 children I have with him so when I moved because mediation wasn't sorted straight away he stopped contact he won't agree to more mediation.so I'm taking it to court and fighting the case myself.should I let my ex know im doing that 1st or let him wait for the court letter of what I'm planning? Please help x
Summer - 13-May-17 @ 1:55 PM
Hi I'm trying to get access to my son he is 2 years old now i have seen him on and off since he was a few months of age but my ex has made it impossible she asked for everything that wasn't possible but every time I couldn't do exsacly as she asked then she would stop me seeing him its been 5 months now i pay for him through csa she has moved on with someone else but still won't let me have any contact what can i do?
randomdad2017 - 13-May-17 @ 10:02 AM
I have been told by my ex that I'm limited to seeing my children as per social services. But I haven't heard from social services, do I need to be informed of access to my children if social services are involved? Thanks
Dkcjdaddy - 12-May-17 @ 1:30 PM
How big of a precedent will it set if my friend has only had a few hours access a week for the past 5 months since separated? He was very involved in the past, school drop offs & pick-upsand took care alone for 1 month last year while the wife was traveling. But now that they have separated she has the house and is only letting him see his son once a week for a few hours.He is living alone in another house and has a room all set up for his 8y old son. Also he is supporting them by paying the mortgage, tax and also cash to her, totalingan amount more that what I think he is legally obligated to pay. He is a pretty relax person and has asked for sleepovers and more time but wants to be non confrontational.She also wants to use some low conflict lawyers. She said no sleepovers until a custody order is in place.How long would that take? I've said she clearly does not want to cooperate and he should see a lawyer ASAP. The ball is in his court to get an order.Ask for 50:50 one week on one week off or the more creative 2-2-3(every other weekend, also known as a 2-2-5-5). He is self employed so quite flexible and open with schedules. Would it be better to offer more than one option in court? Should he ramp-up contact time or just go for 50:50 now? Any other tips I can pass on to him as I think he needs to act fast or she may pull some precedent, full custody,card. This dad and kid do not deserve that. This woman is a very introverted sheltered person she has a history of denying access to many people including aunts, uncles, friends, grandparents (even her side of the family). To biased me she looks like an access denying B!t$#
Friend - 11-May-17 @ 6:51 PM
Steve - Your Question:
Hello. I'm trying to get access to see my son who is now nearly 8. I am an alcoholic but have done rehabilitation and also see a nurse every two weeks from the Missuse clinic. I did 6 months in rehabilitation but did have a relapse once out. I have not seen my son in 18 months. My name is on the birth certificate and we actually went to court 3 years ago where it was settled in mediation that I would see my son, but if I had been drinking then I would inform my ex partner and my mother. Unfortunately this happened but I remained true and confessed. My ex partner has stopped all contact, won't give him his cards or presents from me and now my son thinks I've disappeared and is told I choose alcohol instead of him. As I have parental rights, is there anything I can do? I know I have a problem but I'm seeking all the help I can. I want to be in my sons life.

Our Response:
Your only option would be to take the matter back to court in order to attempt to have the order enforced. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application.
SeparatedDads - 10-May-17 @ 2:16 PM
My son was taken by my ex to live in America. At the time I agreed as I was promised we would continue to share the responsibility. No paperwork has been signed but recently the promised visits have all been refused and nowI haven't seen him for 3 year - with only minimal facetime chats. He is very distressed and desperate to come here to visit. His mum has since remarried and has gone on to have other children and I believe he is really beginning to suffer as a consequence.Do you have any advice about how I can deal with this situation, I am aware I can make court orders but I don't know how this works when he lives in America and I live in the UK.
Dave - 8-May-17 @ 9:14 AM
Hello. I'm trying to get access to see my son who is now nearly 8. I am an alcoholic but have done rehabilitation and also see a nurse every two weeks from the Missuse clinic. I did 6 months in rehabilitation but did have a relapse once out. I have not seen my son in 18 months. My name is on the birth certificate and we actually went to court 3 years ago where it was settled in mediation that I would see my son, but if I had been drinking then I would inform my ex partner and my mother. Unfortunately this happened but I remained true and confessed. My ex partner has stopped all contact, won't give him his cards or presents from me and now my son thinks I've disappeared and is told I choose alcohol instead of him. As I have parental rights, is there anything I can do? I know I have a problem but I'm seeking all the help I can. I want to be in my sons life.
Steve - 6-May-17 @ 9:38 AM
J - Your Question:
I split with my ex last December. She has since remarried. Up until a week ago access was going fine. We had an arrangement that I had my daughter when I was off as I work shifts. She got some dates wrong and when I was unavailable to have my daughter the dates she wanted (at the last minute) she stopped access all together. I don't have a lot of money and paying costs for solicitors and courts and things is going to be very difficult. I pay all I'm supposed to for my daughter. I'm not asking for custody. I just want to see my daughter. I'm falling apart here and don't see any way forward. Can anyone please help. All advice is welcome.

Our Response:
As specified in the article, if your ex will not consent to having mediation in order to try to resolve the issue, you will have the option to take the matter to court. If you cannot afford legal fees, then you can self-litigate, please see link here . Likewise, if you are on a low income and cannot afford court fees, please see link here. You may also be able to get help from a McKenzie Friend, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 4-May-17 @ 12:14 PM
I split with my ex last December. She has since remarried. Up until a week ago access was going fine. We had an arrangement that I had my daughter when I was off as I work shifts. She got some dates wrong and when I was unavailable to have my daughter the dates she wanted (at the last minute) she stopped access all together. I don't have a lot of money and paying costs for solicitors and courts and things is going to be very difficult. I pay all I'm supposed to for my daughter. I'm not asking for custody. I just want to see my daughter. I'm falling apart here and don't see any way forward. Can anyone please help. All advice is welcome.
J - 3-May-17 @ 5:07 PM
Polly - Your Question:
Advice please? My ex and I have a 50/50 shared access arrangement for our daughter however residency is with him so he can claim benefits and get a house - up until now things have worked well but as he is very controlling and I was in an abusive relationship with him for 5 years, he is now using our daughter as a pawn in any disagreements we have for example he wants to take her out of school to go on holiday but I don't agree with that and because I've refused permission he is now threatening to stop my access - my question is if he informs her school that I am not to have access, do they have any right to enforce this without a court order stopping me from having the access or can they just act on his word as the resident parent? I am taking him to court separately to get residency back as I don't believe he's a fit example, I would also like the 50/50 split reviewing but I do appreciate it's important for our daughter to have a good relationship with him and I don't want to go down that route but the more aggressive and controlling he is, the more I think it would be in her best interests - any advice greatly appreciated

Our Response:
If he attempts to stop access, the school may or may not act upon his request. However, if your application has been accepted by the courts, then this is the only way to deal with these issues such as ignoring your PR rights.
SeparatedDads - 24-Apr-17 @ 11:59 AM
Advice please?My ex and I have a 50/50 shared access arrangement for our daughter however residency is with him so he can claim benefits and get a house - up until now things have worked well but as he is very controlling and I was in an abusive relationship with him for 5 years, he is now using our daughter as a pawn in any disagreements we have for example he wants to take her out of school to go on holiday but I don't agree with that and because I've refused permission he is now threatening to stop my access - my question is if he informs her school that I am not to have access, do they have any right to enforce this without a court order stopping me from having the access or can they just act on his word as the resident parent?I am taking him to court separately to get residency back as I don't believe he's a fit example, I would also like the 50/50 split reviewing but I do appreciate it's important for our daughter to have a good relationship with him and I don't want to go down that route but the more aggressive and controlling he is, the more i think it would be in her best interests - any advice greatly appreciated
Polly - 23-Apr-17 @ 5:41 PM
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