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When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 9 Dec 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Contact Court Final Hearing Directions

If your ex-partner says she’s not going to let you have any contact with your children, it can be one of the most distressing things that can happen to you. There may be a number of reasons behind her decision but somehow they’re irrelevant; you simply want to be able to spend time with your kids. So what can you do to change the situation?

Why It Happens

There are several reasons why your ex might deny you access to your children.
  • It could be a bargaining chip for Divorce or legal proceedings yet to come
  • It might be revenge for the break-up of the relationship
  • In some instances, it’s even been used as a way to conceal a new relationship

Denial of contact, as it’s called legally, doesn’t necessarily happen immediately after your relationship ends. It can occur at any time until the child is of age.

What to Do About It

Your first step should be to send a registered letter to your ex-partner in which you ask her to reinstate contact between you and your children. Don't forget to take a copy of the letter for your records and keep your proof of sending. However, remember court is always seen as a last resort and you will usually have to show that you have both attended a Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before you can apply.

If this produces no action, and/or your ex refuses to attend mediation, then you have no alternative but to go to court and ask for an Interim Contact Order. In order to obtain a contact order you will need to submit the correct form to the court, find out which form you need Here.

What Does the Interim Contact Order Do?

The interim contact order allows you to have contact with your children until a full court hearing resolves the matter one way or another. If your ex shows no opposition to interim contact, it can be resolved without a court appearance. However, at this stage that’s not likely to be the case.

What Kind of Contact Can you Expect in the Interim?

What you and your solicitor will have to do is remind the court at a “directions hearing” of the length of time before the full hearing will occur. This can often be six months or longer, which can be detrimental to your relationship with your child. In most instances, the court will allow some limited contact between you and your children in the interim, although it’s unlikely to be “staying contact” (allowing the children to stay overnight with you) if the mother objects. She might also demand supervised contact, and the court will generally accede. This all seems heavily weighted towards the mother, even though you might have done nothing wrong. However, it’s a case of the court opting to be cautious.

The Directions Hearing

Prior to the hearing you should inform both the opposing solicitor and the court itself that your side will ask for interim contact and be asking for oral evidence. This will avoid any adjournment. If you’ve had previous contact with your child before you were denied access, especially “staying contact”, you should provide evidence of this to the court, as it will bolster your argument.

The Final Hearing

One of the most important factors preceding the final hearing is the report by the Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. He or she will interview you and your former partner, your children, if they’re old enough, as well as carers and teachers etc. Generally, the court will accept the report’s recommendations regarding custody and contact. If you disagree with the report, either in part or completely, you can ask for more information, or for another report by a different officer.

If You’re Still Denied Access

If your former partner denies you contact in defiance of an order laid down by the court, you can take her to court to demand access. However, before taking this step, think carefully, as it will not only make relations between the two of you worse, but could possibly end up with her fined or in jail, which will have an adverse affect on the children. If at all possible, you should Attempt Mediation first.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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@stresseddad - mediation followed by court (if your ex won't attend mediation). There is no other route mate. I hope you manage to see yoru child soon.
HoxtonBH - 11-Dec-17 @ 2:31 PM
Gmour - Your Question:
I want to ask my ex to see my two boys at 15 and 6yr old I haven't seen them in over a year. My oldest contacted me last week and said to phone his mother today but we don't speak. Am scared of being told NO

Our Response:
If you are told 'no', then your best option is to say you will take the matter further. If you have not seen your children in a year, then you have nothing to lose. As specified in the article, a solicitor's letter or a suggestion of mediation is the right course of action. Court, while is generally considered the last resort, should not be feared as the courts do want non-resident parents to have a relationship with their children. Unless your ex has a very good and provable reason to justify her 'no', then access will be awarded. The fact your eldest son is now 15 means his opinion and preference to see you will be taken account of in court. In your case, it seems you have to be brave by asking the question and if you are refused think about the end game of taking the matter to court. Also, if you cannot afford court fees then you can represent yourself in court. Many fathers are doing this with success, please see link here . Likewise, if you cannot afford court fees, if you are on a low or no income you may be able to be eligible for a reduction, please see link here. Our Separated Dads forum should also be able to help you, as many dads have been through similar issues also and are on hand to give both emotional and practical support.
SeparatedDads - 11-Dec-17 @ 9:53 AM
I want to ask my ex to see my two boys at 15 and 6yr old I haven't seen them in over a year. My oldest contacted me last week and said to phone his mother today but we don't speak. Am scared of being told NO
Gmour - 9-Dec-17 @ 5:59 PM
Tony - Your Question:
Hi I split up with my partner about a year and a half ago and my contact with my son has been off and on I have recently contacted a solicitor regarding contact with my son I claim benefits and solicitors are asking for a 200 pound fee which I cant afford can anyone give me advice on this matter many thanks

Our Response:
All the information you need to know is contained within this article. You would need to request your ex attends mediation first in order to try to resolve any issues you have. A court will not allow an application until mediation has been considered/explored, please see link here. If you cannot resolve your issues through mediation, then court is considered the last resort. If you cannot afford legal representation, you can self litigate, please see link here . You may also get a reduction in court fees, please see link here . Our Separated Dads forum can also help with guidance and advice.
SeparatedDads - 8-Dec-17 @ 11:50 AM
Hi I split up with my partner about a year and a half ago and my contact with my son has been off and on I have recently contacted a solicitor regarding contact with my son I claim benefits and solicitors are asking for a 200 pound fee which I cant afford can anyone give me advice on this matter many thanks
Tony - 7-Dec-17 @ 3:41 PM
My ex partner and I split up not long after she found out she was pregnant, she wanted us to sort it out but we have done nothing but argue constantly. She is coming up for nearly 8 months pregnant now and struggling to get around as much. I have to hold my hands up and say I haven't been around much to help her but she doesn't live very close and its not as easy as just popping round the corner especially with work commitments. What also doesn't help is although I know its a hard and emotional time I have had nothing but dogs abuse constantly most days while at work and without which is having an adverse affect on my mental and physical health but more importantly HERS and our sons!! She is determined to go out to buy loads ofbaby stuff and wanted me to go with her which I know will only end up in more stress and arguments so I said why don't you pick it all and I will get it for you, either delivered or I can drop it off! But no I don't care because of this and she is going to struggle with all of it on her own on buses and endanger herself and our baby. I might sound out of order but although I want to help etc I am not going to be spoken to everyday for 5 months give or take the way I have then have to take it face to face when there is an easier and more healthy option. Now she says I am never going to be called dad he will have nothing to do with me and he will hate me, I have to go to court for access and she still wont be letting me see our son?! I don't have a clue what to do!!!
stresseddad - 5-Dec-17 @ 3:23 PM
CarlAshmore89 - Your Question:
Hiya there me and my child's mum split up there's no court order in place however we do have a social worker my child's mum turns up at school half an hour before finnish time and picks my little girl up and says I'm not seeing her school advise me to get legal advice how can they not allow me to pick my child up is this against fathers rights or what it's coming up to Christmas lost my mum in April this year and now might no see my little girl I don't want to take my little girl away from her mum but I really do need to see her I go to school at 2.30 wait 45mins everyday for her mum to say I'm not having her it's heart breaking please can someone help me please

Our Response:
Unfortunately, in cases such as this, you would have to go through the process laid out in the article; first suggestion mediation, then applying to court if your ex refuses. Our Separated Dads forum may help you also, as there are many dads who have been through this heartbreaking scenario before and who can offer helpful advice. If you cannot afford to be legally represented in court, then you can represent yourself, please see link here. As difficult as this may be for you, your main objective should be to keep your head and do not do anything that could result in the courts restricting your access. The likes of Families Need Fathers, can also help, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 5-Dec-17 @ 12:25 PM
Hiya there me and my child's mum split up there's no court order in place however we do have a social worker my child's mum turns up at school half an hour before finnish time and picks my little girl up and says I'm not seeing her school advise me to get legal advice how can they not allow me to pick my child up is this against fathers rights or what it's coming up to Christmas lost my mum in April this year and now might no see my little girl I don't want to take my little girl away from her mum but I really do need to see her I go to school at 2.30 wait 45mins everyday for her mum to say I'm not having her it's heart breaking please can someone help me please
Carl89 - 4-Dec-17 @ 8:07 PM
Daz1321 - Your Question:
Hi everyone. Its been 2 and a half year since I seen my little boy he is 5 on the 15th and his mother stoped me seen him becase I wanted nothing todo with her but due to her dragging court out and all the lies from her and her family and with her mother knowing judges I didnt stand a chance but in the end I had to drop out to the money problems as was costing a fortune and the family promised me I would still get to see him but its been over 2 half year and they ignore my texts and everything. Its killing me inside and I dunno what I can do???

Our Response:
If your ex refuses to attend mediation (as outlined in the article), then you would have to apply through court. If you cannot afford the legal fees of being represented in court by a solicitor, you can represent yourself, please see link here. Likewise, if you cannot afford court fees because you are on a low income, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 4-Dec-17 @ 12:27 PM
Hi everyone. Its been 2 and a half year since i seen my little boy he is 5 on the 15th and his mother stoped me seen him becase i wanted nothing todo with her but due to her dragging court out and all the lies from her and her family and with her mother knowing judges i didnt stand a chance but in the end i had to drop out to the money problems as was costing a fortune and the family promised me i would still get to see him but its been over 2 half year and they ignore my texts and everything. Its killing me inside and i dunno what i can do???
Daz1321 - 2-Dec-17 @ 1:47 PM
trying - Your Question:
Its so hard just before xmas to be denied contact. My sons birthday as well this weekend, I have court forms in but its a slow long process and its crushing. I doubt I will see him on his birthday and I'm praying Xmas isn't ruined too.I would say to any father in a split don't wait, get a contact order in place asap. They can also be broken but its slighter less tricky to navigate enforcement of an order than getting one in the first place. The trouble is none of us come here until its already happened.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, even relationships where the parenting and access is negotiated amicably can break down. The most important thing is to think the solution will be helped long term - it is understandably easy to get caught up in emotion short term. In the meantime, please take advantage of our Separated Dads forum, knowing you aren't alone and there are other dads going through this at the same time can help. Most of all, our dads are there to help give both practical and emotional support through these tricky times. We hope the situation manages to resolve itself in your favour. If to date, you have been a consistent dad to your son, then the courts should put a court order in place and one where your ex will have to keep to.
SeparatedDads - 1-Dec-17 @ 10:46 AM
Hi all in the middle of starting a court case to finally see my daughter again. Her mother is a witch putting it nicely my daughter is now 9 and from she was born I've been allowed to see her for awhile then her mother demands more money from me and stops me seeing her as usual it's breaking my heart she has also broke numerous court orders and recently got me falsely arrested for assaulting her i got letter to confirm there was no evidence of this as I had obtained cctv of the incident.so it's dropped she is constantly filling my daughter's head with rubbish saying I don't want to see her and I don't love (Surely someone else sees this as mental abuse to a child) just want advise as to what way to sort this in court and what my chances of seeing my daughter are.. can i state that I want no contact with her mother as she is so unpredictable she has stopped me seeing my daughter from Easter as I wouldn't give her the child maintenance early to head out as she was skint.
Deeks - 1-Dec-17 @ 7:10 AM
its so hard just before xmas to be denied contact. My sons birthday as well this weekend, I have court forms in but its a slow long process and its crushing. I doubt I will see him on his birthday and I'm praying Xmas isn't ruined too. I would say to any father in a split don't wait, get a contact order in place asap. They can also be broken but its slighter less tricky to navigate enforcement of an order than getting one in the first place. The trouble is none of us come here until its already happened.
trying - 30-Nov-17 @ 4:18 PM
TT - Your Question:
Hi,My ex and I were never married we had two children who are now 5 & 9. Long story short when we split up she was always vile and awkward which then led to mediation which she refused. I then went to court and was allowed every other weekend, one half term and part of summer and Christmas holidays all fantastic although it did cost £££. I am in the army and have been posted abroad for two years. I have just booked a flight to return to have my children for feb half term and she has once again turned into a monster saying I am only allowed to have them for two days out off the 7 returning them at night. This isn’t exceptable as I will be traveling around the uk visiting family with them. I know I can’t visit every weekend like I used to etc but does my half term access still stand or do I have to go back to court again because my circumstances being in the military have changed. Thank you for any advice

Our Response:
If your circumstances have changed, then when you know your circumstances had changed it would have been wise (if you and your ex could not agree via mediation) to take the matter back to court to apply for a variation in the order. However, this may be something you should now think about doing if and where you cannot agree. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 30-Nov-17 @ 3:58 PM
Karlos V - Your Question:
Hi everyoneI am going to be a dad 2 weeks tomorrow and my partner and I have split. We split as soon as she found out that she was pregnant in April. She's saying that I'm only aloud to see my daughter one day a week in a contact centre. Getting there to see her will cost at least £30-£40 per week. Do I have more rights then that as the father. I'm not even aloud to be there when she gives birth or on the birth certificate. Can you help me out please. Thank you.

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately, as specified in the article, you would have to first of all suggest your ex attends mediation in order to try to resolve the issue. If your ex refuses, then you would have to apply to court. You may find our Separated Dads forum useful in order to get some support from other dads who can advise.
SeparatedDads - 30-Nov-17 @ 12:18 PM
Hi everyone I am going to be a dad 2 weeks tomorrow and my partner and I have split. We split as soon as she found out that she was pregnant in April. She's saying that I'm only aloud to see my daughter one day a week in a contact centre. Getting there to see her will cost at least £30-£40 per week. Do I have more rights then that as the father. I'm not even aloud to be there when she gives birth or on the birth certificate. Can you help me out please. Thank you.
Karlos V - 29-Nov-17 @ 8:45 PM
Hi,My ex and I were never married we had two children who are now 5 & 9. Long story short when we split up she was always vile and awkward which then led to mediation which she refused. I then went to court and was allowed every other weekend, one half term and part of summer and Christmas holidays all fantasticalthough it did cost £££. I am in the army and have been posted abroad for two years. I have just booked a flight to return to have my children for feb half term and she has once again turned into a monster saying I am only allowed to have them for two days out off the 7 returning them at night. This isn’t exceptable as I will be traveling around the uk visiting family with them. I know I can’t visit every weekend like I used to etc but does my half term access still stand or do I have to go back to court again because my circumstances being in the military have changed. Thank you for any advice
TT - 28-Nov-17 @ 3:20 PM
John - Your Question:
Hi Everyone, I need some advice regarding my child contact order.My court order for my 2 young children states that the mother has our children for 16 days and then I have them for 5, which is wednesday to Sunday every 3rd week. I asked for this as I work away for 2 weeks at a time. My order also states that I have them this Xmas eve til boxing. Coincidentally my 5 days after fallen on the day after boxing day, I realised this a few months back so booked the time of work and am looking forward to a quality week with my children. My problem is the mother is saying she has a holiday booked from the day after boxing day and that she is going away for a week. This is a major breach of court in my opinion, I was expecting to return kids on boxing day and then pick them back up day after for my 5 days.I feel I have 2 options either give them back on boxing day as order states and not have them for my 5 days or refuse to give them back on boxing day as she will not return them to me the day after and return them to her in Sunday ?? I want to go with the 2nd idea but am worried the consequences from the law.I look forward to hearing some advice.Many thanks in advance

Our Response:
The fact the situation is different, given that Christmas falls just before your allocated five days, doesn't mean that either of you are in breach as it can be argued. I'm afraid the only way forward with this is through mutual negotiation or mediation in order to come to a resolution. If you keep the children without consent, will you be able to enjoy the time with them? I imagine it will create an argument, especially if your ex has actually booked to go away. This will also create bad feeling and distrust between you both, when you should both be deciding what is in the best interests of your kids. Likewise, your children may be disappointed and upset if they cannot go on holiday, or they may prefer to stay with you. As in all cases, your main priority should be the welfare of the children in question. Therefore, if you cannot negotiate between you as parents, mediation is the key.
SeparatedDads - 28-Nov-17 @ 12:20 PM
Hi Everyone, I need some advice regarding my child contact order. My court order for my 2 young children states that the mother has our children for 16 days and then i have them for 5, which is wednesday to Sunday every 3rd week. I asked for this as I work away for 2 weeks at a time. My order also states that I have them this Xmas eve til boxing. Coincidentally my 5 days after fallen on the day after boxing day, I realised this a few months back so booked the time of work and am looking forward to a quality week with my children. My problem is the mother is saying she has a holiday booked from the day after boxing day and that she is going away for a week. This is a major breach of court in my opinion, I was expecting to return kids on boxing day and then pick them back up day after for my 5 days. I feel I have 2 options either give them back on boxing day as order states and not have them for my 5 days or refuse to give them back on boxing day as she will not return them to me the day after and return them to her in Sunday ?? I want to go with the 2nd idea but am worried the consequences from the law. I look forward to hearing some advice. Many thanks in advance
John - 27-Nov-17 @ 4:26 PM
To B: I feel your pain sir and have been in a similar situation myself. The best advice I can give you is walk away now and live your life whilst you still have the chance. I know every bone in your body tells you to fight for your child, and rightly so, because she deserves to know her father and you deserve to know your child. My story is that I met a girl in 2002 between my 2nd and 3rd year of uni. She told me she couldn’t have kids and stupid young me believed her. Low and behold within 2 months she’s pregnant and her family are telling me to put a ring on her finger. Feeling like she had tried to trap me and we barely knew each other, and I wasn’t going to spend my life with her, I thought the best thing to do was end the relationship. But, I maintained that I wanted to be a part of the child’s life and would not shirk my responsibility. From that day on her and her entire family stated that I would never see the child. Then came the denials that I was even the father. I couldn’t do anything until the child was born and could only go on a rough 9 month timeline but I did seek legal advice. I found out my daughter was born from somebody I used to work with (yep, also found out the sex from this complete stranger too). I went to court for access and sought a DNA test to prove my daughter was mine. There was no doubt in my mind and the results confirmed that. I thought that would be the end of the matter but little did I know, this was just the beginning of the nightmare. I met my daughter in a park for the first time when she was 4 months old. Some brief reconciliation with the mother followed. When I refused to rekindle the relationship I didn’t see my daughter again for another 8 months, until her first birthday for an hour in a contact centre, supervised like I was some dangerous criminal. To get to this point took court order after court order after court order and multiple directions hearing and assessments by CRAPCASS to prove I was worthy to see my own child. Fast forward 7 years and too many enforced absences that I can comprehend (circa 50 count appearances and 32 contact orders - yes 32), I finally “won” the case in 2010 and had got to the point where I was having my daughter 3 weekends out of every 4. There were always some problems and nothing was ever smooth, but there were 4-5 good years. Things started to go south again in 2015, which I suspect was when I told the mother I could no longer afford to pay £300 per month maintenance as I was no longer earning as much as I used to. She offered that I could pay £200 instead and just buy extras as and when needed (I’d always done that anyway). But almost immediately those 3 weekends out of 4 dropped down to fortnightly. There were also problems when I met my new wife, followed by a 10 month enforced absence, and when my youngest daughter was born in 2012 and all the jealousy that came with that. But we managed to work through that and I still rem
Dan36 - 27-Nov-17 @ 1:18 AM
Hi Everyone..Im going crazy here and don't know what to do. Basically I split up with my ex 9 months ago. I then get told she's pregnant and was asked if I'm happy about this and did i want to be involved, i went to the first scan then after that she became more and more distant to he point that she blocked me on her phone and social media. i had her email so every month i sent a calm,kind and clear message asking how she and the baby where doing. then around 6months into the pregnancy she started telling me she wanted no contact with me and just stopped replying to my messages telling me i was harassing her and there was no reason for her to contact me. The baby was due Nov 9th and I've sent her an email asking her for info about our child Ie ....Gender, weight,health ect .... but have had no response. Where do i go from here?
B - 21-Nov-17 @ 9:59 PM
Kial - Your Question:
So Basically I left the mother of my child because the relationship got violent on a few occasions and I didnt want that round the kids :( she has a 5 year old girl that I raised as my own who I can no longer see and she makes it difficult for me to see my two year old son. She chops and changes her mind when she sees fit 1 week im allowed to pick him up the next im not :( last week things turnt really bad so I am stuck at what to do its his birthday thursday and I know she might not let me see him :(

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. Your only recourse would be to follow the procedure laid out in this article. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix unless your ex changes her mind. However, you may wish to suggest mediation as a way of attempting to secure a consistent relationship with your child in the future. If your ex refuses mediation, you would be able to apply to court. If you apply to court, the court may put a court order in place that your ex would have to keep to. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 21-Nov-17 @ 2:17 PM
Dan - Your Question:
Been seperated for 2 years divorced for 1. see my baby everyday and have her over night everyother weekend , now she changed and only wants me to see my baby 3 days a week. has stoped her from celebrating anything holiday and birthdays at school even tho she does it with me. I always have to ask to see my baby and often she changes the schedule we have , especially if I do something she disaproves ( like go to a kids halloween party) if I go to court it will cost me 1000s that I dont have , but shes always very vocal that I should consider myself lucky that she lets me see her this often ( 3 times a week) and I am. but my baby calls me everyday asking me to see her she misses me and I dont want to slag her mom off.juat really wish I had a reliable schesule one she couldnt change everytime she wants or get annoyed at me. cant even move on with my life cos she will get upset with me of I even meantion I might wana see someone. What can I do

Our Response:
As specified in the article, you would have to suggest mediation to your ex in order to resolve these issues. If she refuses to talk them through, your only option would be to apply to court. You can see more about self-litigation via the link here . This will save you money on legal fees. If you are on a low income, you also may be able to get a reduction in the court fees. However, trying to resolve these issues between you, or via mediation is always the best option.
SeparatedDads - 21-Nov-17 @ 12:47 PM
So Basically i left the mother of my child because the relationship got violent on a few occasions and i didnt want that round the kids :( she has a 5 year old girl that i raised as my own who i can no longer see and she makes it difficult for me to see my two year old son. She chops and changes her mind when she sees fit 1 week im allowed to pick him up the next im not :( last week things turnt really bad so i am stuck at what to do its his birthday thursday and i know she might not let me see him :(
Kial - 20-Nov-17 @ 11:25 PM
Mark - Your Question:
Hi I have been divorced from my ex for a year and a half.I pick my kids up on a Thursday for a hour or so after school and nursery(my boy is nearly 2 my girl 5).and I have them usually on a alternating sat and Sunday.I never not turn up for my days but because of work situation I have had to change certain days over 2 weekends but I made sure I seen the kids on weekdays to compensate.It was a necessity as I'm on construction and had to finish a job.My ex was fine with this.Now this Friday I was supposed to have the kids over night and I get a message on the morning telling me it's not going to happen by my ex followed by a letter from her lawyer saying all contact should stop,I have done nothing wrong!.I have text messages of hers confirming our access arrangements for this weekend and beyond.?When I said this to her she said her lawyer said this does not matter?!But she is painting me in this light that I'm unriliable etc but she can do this to me on no notice at all.Where do I stand now pls as she is stopping all my access.overnight,days,school pick ups,nursery

Our Response:
If your ex is denying you access you would have to follow the steps laid out of the article, with mediation being your first option, please see link here . Trying to resolve the issue outside of court is always the best option. If you have regular access and you apply to court, access should be reinstated with a court order, unless there is a justifiable reason why it shouldn't. However, judging by what you say, there isn't and it is just a matter of mis-communication. Hopefully, the matter will blow over and be resolved through negotiation.
SeparatedDads - 20-Nov-17 @ 2:13 PM
Hi I have been divorced from my ex for a year and a half. I pick my kids up on a Thursday for a hour or so after school and nursery(my boy is nearly 2 my girl 5)...and I have them usually on a alternating sat and Sunday. I never not turn up for my days but because of work situation I have had to change certain days over 2 weekends but I made sure I seen the kids on weekdays to compensate. It was a necessity as I'm on construction and had to finish a job. My ex was fine with this. Now this Friday I was supposed to have the kids over night and I get a message on the morning telling me it's not going to happen by my ex followed by a letter from her lawyer saying all contact should stop, I have done nothing wrong!........I have text messages of hers confirming our access arrangements for this weekend and beyond.? When I said this to her she said her lawyer said this does not matter?! But she is painting me in this light that I'm unriliable etc but she can do this to me on no notice at all. Where do I stand now pls as she is stopping all my access....overnight,days,school pick ups,nursery
Mark - 19-Nov-17 @ 3:35 PM
Been seperated for 2 years divorced for 1 .. see my baby everyday and have her over night everyother weekend , now she changed and only wants me to see my baby 3 days a week .. has stoped her from celebrating anything holiday and birthdays at school even tho she does it with me .. i always have to ask to see my baby and often she changes the schedule we have , especially if i do something she disaproves ( like go to a kids halloween party) if i go to court it will cost me 1000s that i dont have , but shes always very vocal that i should consider myself lucky that she lets me see her this often ( 3 times a week) and i am .. but my baby calls me everyday asking me to see her she misses me and i dont want to slag her mom off ..juat really wish i had a reliable schesule one she couldnt change everytime she wants or get annoyed at me .. cant even move on with my life cos she will get upset with me of i even meantion i might wana see someone . What can i do
Dan - 17-Nov-17 @ 1:42 PM
Pat - Your Question:
How do I go about this registered letter?I supposed to have my 2 boys this weekend and out of the blue she said I can't until she sorts a visiting order. She's spiteing me because I found out she lied about taking my boys to dentist appointments (about 6 in total) since we parted and I found out after calling the dentist myself. My boys always say they are mistreated at their mums and want to stay with me but of course as I'm always at work it's impossible and their age is a factor (5 and 4)

Our Response:
As specified in the article, mediation is the first port of call and court as a last resort. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. It is unlikely a court would move the children from a resident parent, unless you can prove they are being mistreated. If the matter goes to court and you apply for residency, Cafcass would get involved, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 7-Nov-17 @ 3:01 PM
Ben- Your Question:
Just split with ex she told me she is going to make it as hard as possible for me to see my son. She has had me aressted and I have been charged with common assult because a put my hands on her shoulders sat her on the bed and asked her to let go of our 22month old son because she was shouting her head of going in to one as she does now have to go to court about that where do I stand about geting propper acsses to my son

Our Response:
You would have to go through the process outlined in the article i.e mediation and if mediation is unsuccessful, you would be able to apply to court. Unless, you can agree access directly with your ex, then there are no alternative options.
SeparatedDads - 7-Nov-17 @ 11:42 AM
Just split with ex she told me she is going to make it as hard as possible for me to see my son. She has had me aressted and i have been charged with common assult because a put my hands on her shoulders sat her on the bed and asked her to let go of our 22month old son because she was shouting her head of going in to one as she does now have to go to court about that where do i stand about geting propper acsses to my son
Ben - 6-Nov-17 @ 3:12 PM
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