Can My Ex Stop Me Taking My Son on Holiday?

Originally written by Emma Jones, updated by the editorial team on 26th July 2026

K.C asks

I booked a holiday to Egypt when my partner and I were together. We have split up and now she is saying I can't take my son on this holiday. He was born after 2003 and I am on the birth certificate, he bears my name, and there are no residental orders or any other legal orders in place.

Where do I stand? I have only been gone two weeks and her boyfriend is already sleeping in my bed. Our son is only 4

Understanding Your Rights as a Father

Fathers in England and Wales have Parental Responsibility automatically if they were married to the mother when the child was born, or if the child was born after 1 December 2003 and the father is named on the birth certificate. If neither applies, you may still have acquired Parental Responsibility through a formal agreement or court order.

Parental Responsibility gives you a legal basis to be consulted about major decisions affecting your child, including education, medical treatment and holidays abroad. This does not disappear when a relationship ends. Both parents keep their rights unless a court orders otherwise.

The parent your child lives with can make routine decisions without consulting you. Holidays abroad sit somewhere between everyday choices and major decisions, which is why they often cause disagreements.

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Taking Your Child Abroad Without Consent

Under UK law, taking a child out of the country without the consent of everyone with Parental Responsibility is child abduction. This applies even if no Child Arrangements Order exists. You should not book flights and travel without agreement.

If your ex reports the child as abducted, you could face criminal investigation. Even if charges are not brought, it may damage future court proceedings and your relationship with your son.

Where a Child Arrangements Order names you as the parent your child lives with, you can take them abroad for up to 28 days without written consent from the other parent. If your child lives with your ex under such an order, you will need her permission or a court order to travel.

Be aware that some countries have their own entry requirements for children travelling with one parent. You may need a travel consent letter or additional documentation.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

What To Do If Your Ex Refuses

Start by putting your request in writing. Include the dates, destination, flight and accommodation details, how you will stay in contact while abroad, and confirmation of when you will return. Many parents refuse because they worry the child will not come back. Providing clear details can ease those concerns.

If direct discussion fails, consider family mediation. A trained mediator can help you reach agreement without court involvement. Courts generally expect you to try mediation first, though exceptions exist where domestic abuse is involved or there is genuine urgency.

When mediation does not work, you can apply for a Specific Issue Order. This asks a judge to decide whether your child can travel. The court will base its decision on what is best for your child.

Getting Proper Advice

Every family situation has its own complications. Before making plans, check where you stand legally. Our free Rights Checker can help you understand your position as a father.

For official guidance on Parental Responsibility and international travel with children, visit GOV.UK. If your situation involves court proceedings or cross border issues, speaking to a family solicitor is worth considering.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Letter Builder lets you generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →

117 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

Bookworm79 03/06/2022 at 9:06 pm

Can my ex demand I show a marriage certificate
He’s refusing to let me take our boys on holiday
Saying he had unanswered questions about my partner saying I must show him a marriage certificate
I’ve been with my partner for over a year and my ex has previously allowed me to take the boys on holiday
How would this stand in court

Need help 02/02/2021 at 1:31 pm

I split from my ex partner's August 2019 after living together for more than 9 years. I was there when our child was born and I raised him and live with his mother until we split. My son has his is own passport he's 8 8i want to take him on holidays in August in 2021 but my ex says absolutely not I can't take him anywhere now according to the loft and 2016 if you had lived with the mother and child for over a year after child is born the unmarried father is an automatic guardian after this time when we split she moved to England I am in Ireland and my solicitors seems to be not doing much and now brexit is here. Can anyone tell me do I need to go to English court where she lives and apply for some sort of Grant where I can take my child on holiday and she won't be able to stop me

Fairy 03/09/2020 at 5:00 pm

I stopped my ex husband holiday this August due to covid by not giving him passports for my daughters. He booked everything without asking me first. I have never stopped him from taking them anywhere before. He's trying to take me to court to grant him on paper permission for passports and holidays abroad. He clearly doesn't understand it was only because of covid this year. Does it mean he'll be granted permission without my consent for the future holidays?

Kyle 29/07/2020 at 3:27 pm

Me and my x partner split up in November I have 2 children to her 2 and 1 year old I’ve been informed she’s took t he children on holiday with her parents to Tenerife one off the children has a passport the other doesn’t I’m on the birth certificates and haven’t been asked if she can take them out the country there is no court order or what ever in place between us is there anything I can legally do

stephen 04/02/2020 at 6:30 pm

My 14-year-old daughter asked me to take her on holiday to Spain. My ex gave me the dates and the holiday was booked. The holiday was booked in August 2019 and we are due to go in May 2020. Now my daughter says she doesn't want to go and her mum simply says it is her choice and although I can't prove it, I think there is more to it than simply changed her mind. The Holiday cost £1,300 and is paid in full and non-refundable. Is there anything I can do ?

Wildaw 26/01/2020 at 8:48 am

My partner and I are getting married this year in this country and want to take his child with us. There is a court order which states extended holidays need to be agreed with his ex but she is refusing (she has booked a holiday abroad with their daughter without his permission) to let the child be away from her for more than 4 days (we’d like a week as we have 3 other children and it’s a long drive to the destination. What’s the easiest way to deal with this?

R t 10/11/2019 at 8:07 pm

@scruffybub.my name is ruthless toothless I am unemployed been spit up for 10 years the mother off my daughter was a prostitute ,heroine junkie .i have not had contact sense my daughter was 5 . I am very upset over this worried my daughter will follow in her mothers footsteps .

scruffybub 10/11/2019 at 6:20 pm

my son has 2 daughters with his ex partner not married but he is named on the birth certificates they split 8 years ago, he has worked full time, sees his girls every weekend, has they sleep over every other weekend, ex will not let him take them on a weeks holiday abroad and has noe decided that he can only see his girls every sunday ?? help where does he stand, he is VERY upset at this

Marrow 26/08/2019 at 7:10 pm

My ex and I have split recently and she has arranged to take our 2 boys away for 2 weeks during school term time. Where do I stand in the way of being fined as I obviously do not want to pay a fine because it is she that has decided to take them out of school and not me?

Marcus 22/08/2019 at 7:29 pm

My ex-partner just re-married. I have just discovered they took my child on their honeymoon abroad. I gave no consent for them to take my child abroad and I do have parental responsibility. Is there anything I can do?

Alexandra Yates 02/08/2019 at 10:33 pm

My partners ex has said we can’t take her away on a booked holiday to Tenerife in which we booked last year! She says she want £72for uniform and £92 for school trip in which he’s already paid £120 for . He hasn’t said he would contribute for school uniform she dose this every time before we have her . Demanding money and that we buy clothes . He didn’t see his daughter for years , but has always paid for her and for the last four years has built a relationship with her even though she doesn’t call him dad and he let her surname change ? What about our holiday ?

Fountain 08/07/2019 at 6:21 pm

My ex fiancé who I split with approx 2years ago has my daughter full time as she doesn’t let me see her !

I have to go to the extent of hearing from friends every so often of her whereabouts and turning up out the blue which doesn’t go down well 8/10 times as you can imagine !

However I’ve just been made aware she is in Greece with my ex fiancé and her new partner without my permission where do I stand with this ! Is this illegal is she in the wrong

Porkpie2k4 30/04/2019 at 2:38 am

Hi my partner is having loads off problems with his ex wife. She keeps kicking off saying my partner does she his daughter. So we added days so she was happy. He normally have her Wednesday day till work then all day Thursday into Friday and drops her off a nursery Friday. He has her every other Sunday/Monday. He ex has now kicked off saying she wants the daughter Wednesday's. Which isn't what was agreed too. We've booked to go away in the UK for 10 days and now is she says she's not letting us take her away unless we come up with better days. Ie cutting our holiday short but she still wants her money and for us to pay for nursery. She thinks 10 days is too long for the daughter to be away from her. Any help on how we can solve this problem.

Jleavett 30/03/2019 at 5:44 pm

While it is true that your ex COULD apply for a prohibited steps order they would have to first arrange a mediation appointment and in that appointment there would be a discussion around the reasons why they want to stop you taking the child abroad. If these reasons are not in the child's best interests your ex would be strongly discouraged taking the matter further as the court will take the childs best interests as the most important factor and essentially it must be shown to be better for the child to make the order than not making and order. What I am saying is if there are no real reasons to stop you taking the child on holiday then your ex will need to lie in court (not advisable) or they will find it nearly impossible to actually get a prohibited steps order. I would call their bluff unless they have something on you.

Offy 14/02/2019 at 2:59 am

I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for 2 years now she has 3 kids 1 is very disabled and I love all of them my ex won’t let my girlfriend or her kids meet my kids they all met a couple of times and loved meeting each other but my ex put a stop to it what can I do if I let them meet my ex gets very very nasty in ways I can’t describe...

Eaglefin 11/02/2019 at 1:00 am

Hi, I have a 4 yr old with my ex who I want to take away on holiday in UK for 7 nights with my new girlfriend. Ex has said no as it’s too far and too long. I’ve compromised to 5 nights and the journey would be a 5 hours car journey with breaks. I’ve tried speaking with parents who agree with me but it’s still no. She is taking him abroad for 7 nights the month before. I’m on his birth certificate and see him every weekend.

andres 05/08/2018 at 11:30 am

I have been seperated with the mother of my daughter for over 5 years, i see my daughter twice a month and it can be hard some times, now im keen on increasing the amount of time i see her including taking her abroad, she has completely disagreed on me taking her abroad and has said at least when she is a teenager my daughters almost 8 and she says its because of girl hygiene reasons, how do i go about this any advice, 5 years to wait to take her abroad seems pretty unfair to me.

SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2018 at 2:43 pm

You would have to request permission from the other parent with parental responsibility

T 17/07/2018 at 12:06 am

Hi

Im looking at trying to talk my kids mum around to letting me take my children away for a week abroad. Now I've never had any issues with seeing my kids she is good in that way. But during our whole relationship we never went on holiday outside of the uk because she has mental health issues and with that a fear of most things flying being one of them. We had many an argument over her fear ruling what our kids do an don't do. I feel this is unfair because its blocking there chance to make memories. I am desperate to take them away for a week, where would i stand on this? Is there any legal way i can get to do it?

Fther 09/07/2018 at 10:29 pm

I have two kids with my , broke up two years ago. I have always have the older daughter every Saturday and Sunday, she however changed this to Sunday only which I am not happy about but I accepted regardless.
I am planning to take my big daughter to Disney just for a weekend, she is refusing to let without no reason.
Tried everything I could including talking to her parent she still saying no and threatening to reduce the hours I spend with my kids .
I really want to spend more time with my kids . What option have I got ?

Saz 05/07/2018 at 11:31 pm

Don’t give up or cave in! One day kids see hear and make their own minds up .

SeparatedDads Editor 04/06/2018 at 9:56 am

In cases of disagreement and where mediation fails, then your only recourse is to apply to court. However, court can take time and it is unlikely if you are going in five weeks that your case will be heard in time. I can only advise that you seek legal advice. A solicitor's letter outlining your previous agreement and the repercussions of what your actions will be if your ex doesn't allow the holiday to take place, may help.

Loving daddy 03/06/2018 at 12:44 pm

Hey I split with my ex gfriend 5 years ago offered everything from mediation to minute. Of agreement 8 weeks ago I asked my ex to take the kids abroad she says yeh I book a great family holiday from dolphins to snorkling she then told me no after I booked what's my stand it's in 5n halfweeks awayb

SeparatedDads Editor 24/04/2018 at 10:55 am

If your son pushes the matter to mediation and/or as a last resort court, then he stands a better chance if access and contact is frequent and overnight. However, it is impossible to predict what a court may decide. Also, any application to court must be well in advance of the holiday yoru son wishes to book, as it takes time to come to court.

pjt3863 23/04/2018 at 5:30 pm

thank you for your response. and my son has his daughter sleeping at ours 2 nights a week. (Tuesday and Saturday) my wife looks after her on a Wednesday to save nursery costs and he spends sunday with her

pjt3863 22/04/2018 at 5:29 pm

my son has a 2 yr old daughter (3 in oct) and split from her mum last year, they had a family holiday with her parents organised for this sept. their family are still going on this holiday. my son asked if he could take his daughter away for a holiday (abroad) in sept, but was told she would rather he didn't as it would mean she was going away more or less as soon as she came home from their holiday and she thought his daughter was too young for this, my son accepted this although not really happy. he has just asked today if he can take his daughter away (again abroad) next june. his mum replied she doesn't know because it will mean she will be without her for a while and she doesn't want this. it seems to us she has not got her daughter, or my sons feelings at heart but is only thinking of her own selfish reasons. where does he stand on this and can he do anything?

K 07/03/2018 at 9:50 am

Hi I am a mum of a 1 year old boy and his dad walked out on us at 6 months old for another woman, he is on the birth certificate.
He sees his son on a Monday and Tuesday
Does he have a right to take our son away for 4 days or can I say no to that?

RealMrsB 02/03/2018 at 11:36 pm

Hi
I'm a mother and primary carer of my 16 yr old.
His absent father wants to arrange a trip to his new holiday home abroad to which I've no objection. However upon further discussion with my 16 yr old he accidentally dropped in the fact that he will fly there and back alone. I don't think he is responsible or mature enough to do this yet. it's worrying me, can I legally insist he is with him on the trip and journey to and from his holiday home.

annad 26/01/2018 at 8:34 pm

HI my name is Anna and i split from my ex partner when i was 7 weeks pregnant with his child. However being who I am I did not want my child raised not knowing his Father and arranged for him to have rights to see him. He is now 9 years old and spends every Wednesday and one to two nights on a weekend which has always been agreed between ourselves. He is now married with another child and I have just recieved a phone call from him to say he is going for joint custody as he wants access to his school and medical records I have told him he can have access but he will not comply and wants to take me to mediation and apply for extra nights to have my child. I am really worried the child is my life and brought him up on my own the Father denied the child was even his when I was pregnant I dont know what I can do as I have complied with every time he wanted access I have even let him take him on family holidays I am broken hearted can you help me please

Rich Editor 27/06/2017 at 11:55 am

@TheNewWife - it would be very difficult to claw back the money even if she did sign. Even if your husband applied for something such as a Specific Issue Order through the Bristish courts, if his ex gave a valid reason why the kids couldn't go such as illness etc, then there really would be little he could do to get the money returned.

TheNewWife 26/06/2017 at 4:26 pm

My husband emigrated from England to Canada 5 years ago. His ex lives in England with their 2 kids, aged 14 & 16. She has finally agreed to allow them to come out to us for 2 weeks this summer. However, she is making him fly to England to pick the kids up and then fly home with them. Needless to say this is a HUGE financial burden for us. If she decides after we have booked the tickets that she will not let them come (this is not outside the realm of possibility, unfortunately) will we have any recourse? There are no orders in place but my husband has continued to pay maintenance since he left. We were thinking of drafting a letter that if she stops the travel, that will be her maintenance money until the tickets are paid up. Would such a letter hold up so that he can continue to see his kids via Facetime and yearly visits to England? The price of flights would equal about a year's worth of maintenance. She said she will sign a letter but only because she doesn't think it will mean a thing.

xxxx 24/05/2017 at 7:50 pm

NB SCOTTISH LAW

My wife and I are separated.

I have custody of our two sons, and they both live with me.

I intend to take them abroad with me for two weeks. However, I fear that my wife may try to stop me from doing so. Can she do this?

gonk 28/03/2017 at 12:18 pm

A hopefully simple question... I have been separated from my wife for 18 months now, the children are with her 8 and 14 yrs. No arrangements are in place, no court orders etc. I see them fairly regularly, but she will not allow me to have them on my own. She is treating the children as 'property'. My question is; I have muted I want to take them on holiday (UK) in the school holidays, she has blankly refused. Can I get a court to make an order that I be allowed to take my two children on a week holiday and have done with it?

albolts 03/03/2017 at 1:03 pm

I split with my ex 4 years ago and since then have had my son at least once overnight every weekend and twice overnight every other weekend. I have never missed a maintenance payment, a school parents evening, a school play, sportsday and never once failed to pick him up or drop him off when arranged. I have taken him on holiday with her permission within the uk for the last 3 summers. I now wish to take him abroad on holiday as would like to guarantee some good weather.

she is refusing to allow this as she now falsely accuses me of being an alcoholic (which is complete nonsense) and demands I take something called a 'hair strand test' before she allows me to take him. if I took this 'test' I know 100% there would be no reason for me not to take him. However, I'm afraid to book anything as I know nearer the time she would just come up with another reason for not letting him go. do I have to see a solicitor or go to court to get something drawn up officially so she cannot refuse me taking him abroad?

Stoo 17/01/2017 at 7:00 am

I'm wanting to go on holiday with my three kids. Its in the same country I live (Scotland) so no passport needed. My ex is fine with this, but doesn't want my girlfriend to go with me. Does she have the right to stop me? I've been with my ex 7 month on the day we leave and the kids love her and she has a daughter of her own. My ex is just being awkward and just wants to make my life hell. She can't stand the fact I'm happy and moved on. My mum & dad will also be coming along so the kids are safe and will be well looked after. I'm only a phone call away and driving distances away if she needed to contact the lids or if anything happened. My ex surly can't stop me taking kids on holiday with my girlfriend who has a clean record and works with kids??? Where do I stand with this?

Scooter_nuts 31/12/2016 at 8:41 pm

I have been separated from my ex for about 9 months, we jointly care for our 3 young children sharing about 3.5 days a week each. The situation generally remains amicable provided I am agreable with anything my ex stipulates. However we have always suffered a strong narcisstic influence from my in laws, (grandparents). In a nutshell they have significant financial influence compared to me, often using this to act in a way that ingnores the that of parental responsibility and what is considered best the children.
I have heard indirectly that the grandparents, have planned overseas holidays with my children next year. I requested information and have been told it's "none of my business.... as it's thier money and thier grandchildren" I don't suspect there is intention for any foul play, but I do feel my responsibility as a parent and right to make the best choices for my own children, plus my desires to enjoy a holiday with them has been intentionally disregarded for narcissistic self gratification.

Mitch 30/12/2016 at 8:31 pm

Hi, I'm looking to take my 3 year old daughter to Great Yarmouth for a week next year. I fear my ex may not let me take her, can she legally stop me? As a passport isn't needed. I have parental responsibility as I'm on the birth certificate.

Also my ex took my daughter to Denmark without consulting me. How is this possible without my permission?

Brett74 18/11/2016 at 11:35 am

Me and my wife have separated recently 8 weeks . We were going to wales to see her sister with the 2 children, but they have fallen out as they don't approve on what she has done to end our marriage. can she stop me from taking the children to see there auntie and cousin at christmas. Thanks

Bojangles 03/10/2016 at 3:51 pm

Hi,
I have 2 children from a previous relationship and have been to court about access and he was granted every other weekend and phone call's on a Mon and Wed, I have booked a 3 day break for me and our children but it falls on one of my ex's weekends(only the Sunday), I have asked him if he minded me taking them and given plenty of notice of my intent, I got no reply, my girls have recently come back from a weekend with their father and he has discussed this with them (although he was told not to discuss anything with my children regarding me and my life by a CAFCAS officer) he told our children that he would not allow this to happen unless he got certain things back!! our children are very upset that they're not able to go and see's it as my fault because of what daddy said, it is only 5 hours out of his last day of the weekend and he will not let me take them away, any advice as to what I can do would be very helpful, we are due to go away at the end of the month for Halloween, I have bent over backwards to accommodate this man (late phone calls, extra visitation when he asks) but he will not budge one inch when I ask !

jimbob 21/08/2016 at 8:21 pm

I have a cart order to see my daughter on Saturday and Sundays my daughter just said to me, she's going on holiday on Thursday for a week but she said I an not suppose to know about it can my ex do that without telling me

SeparatedDads Editor 27/07/2016 at 11:30 am

Much depends on when the holiday is. Your option would be to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. However, you would have to apply in good time for the matter to be able to be heard in court. Therefore, I suggest you seek legal advice.

chatts 26/07/2016 at 7:55 pm

My son lives with his mother and she has booked a holiday abroad to a country where I have huge doubts about the security situation, do I have any legal recourse to prevent her from taking him abroad.

OllieBKS Editor 20/07/2016 at 1:58 pm

@Daddyto3 - There is nothing to say you have to ask permission, but it's always a good idea to let your ex know your plans.

Daddyto3 19/07/2016 at 10:57 pm

Am wanting to take my son to a caravan park for 3days on the agreed days that me and my ex agreed I have our son will I need her permission we won't be leaving the county.

Leaky 14/07/2016 at 4:52 pm

I have a 16 year old daughter who I think is currently out of the country without my permission. I don't have contact with them since they were taken abroad for a holiday 4 years ago. Can I report this as abduction as she is over 16 years of age? What rights do I have? It seems dads have no rights now days except to pay maintainance. Can someone guide me here ?

Mother 17/06/2016 at 6:53 pm

I'm a mother and how much I believe dads need involvement in the upbringing of my child. I feel the dad gets all the support and the mum no support! I look after her clothes food getting her to school and childminder. Yet the dad, living at his parents does nothing but the half custody is getting used when it suits him. Taking her on holiday for 2weeks without asking me, etc.

What do I do as a mum in this situation? I feel made redundant as a mother and don't know who to turn to as all the help is for dads and not for mums!

SeparatedDads Editor 14/06/2016 at 2:02 pm

You would have to seek legal advice and apply through the courts if your ex is refusing access. You have no legal rights per se regarding access to your children - if the matter goes to court, the court will decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your children.

Bentley boo 13/06/2016 at 7:10 pm

Hi I split with my X 3 months ago I live and work in Spain she moved back to uk
And now won't let me see are have my children 5&7 years old
First she let me face time and now nothing
What are my rights to have them come to Spain and see me for a week are 2

SeparatedDads Editor 06/06/2016 at 2:49 pm

As specified in the article, you can apply for a Specific Issue Order

Maj 06/06/2016 at 4:13 am

Hi , I saprated two months ago we have four kids together ! Seven , five , three and one . My x she wants to take the children's away for holiday to see her family but I'm not happy I don't feel my kids be safe with my x parents and her family bcs the had abusing children's issue before ! Where should I go and ask to stop my x from this holiday ? Please help me out I don't know about the law that much I just separated !

LAWMAN 29/05/2016 at 1:07 am

god when are you women going to understand that it takes two to make a child y do you think you have the rith to stop a dad taking his kid on holidays its his child two as you be the first to go with your new boyfriend the sooner thy bring in 50/50 parenting the better as you are the first ones to take money of us men and every ether benefit you can get your hands on that y you fight to stop dads seeing there kids did you no that in the usa there 2 a two yr prison for what thy call PAS parental alienation which is the game you women put on us dads when you dont get your own way i hope tpo god this law comes to the uk as all it duse is mess up the kids heads

Brown 09/04/2016 at 1:28 am

My daughter is 11. Me and her mother have been separated for 9 years. Her mother and I get along ok but she can be un reasonable and erratic. Iv learnt if I play her right (ie if I ignore her comments and nod along with her requests so she is happy) things run amicably.
I have taken my daughter on holiday many times with her permission but on 2 occasions she has tried to stop us going. Only once has she succeeded, this was 4 years ago, my daughters mother locked my her in the house so we missed the flight.
I want to now take her to Spain for 4 days. I'm worried if I ask her mother she will say no to be awkward and this is not fair on my daughter.

My daughters passport has run out.
If I renew her passport and take her on holiday (during my arranged days) I'm worried what would happen if she was to be horrible/spiteful and make phone calls whilst we are in Spain. What would happen?
My fear is that if she calls and says Iv taken her without permission I could be arrested in Spain and my daughter will be taken by Spanish social services (as it is only me and her going) I do not feel that her mother will think nor care about the implications of a phone call. The call will be to spite me only.
My daughter is looking forward to the trip. If I ask her mother, I feel it's 50/50 if she says yes or no. A no would ruin my child's chance of going completely.
Thank you for your time in reading this. Any advise is appreciated.

IndependantDad9 27/03/2016 at 11:55 pm

I am recently separated.
I live in my own house and have done for about 4 months.
I have a 6yr Old daughter who I had every weekend up until recently, and now, as agreed, I have every other weekend, and for several days over Easter, etc.
I recently said I wanted to take her away for a week in the Summer to Spain for a Holiday. I think I need to state, that there is no "Flight Risk" as I live here, work here, and have no intention of not carrying on my life as it is now.
However, when I tried to discuss this she does not want to.
My daughter has told me that she heard her Mum and older sister (her half-sister - Same Mother, different Father) who is 14, agreeing that thought she should not go until she was older.
I think this is more to do with the fact that her Dad has never offered to take her abroad, and resents the fact that I have. That aside, is there any precedence where the Childs age is relevant?!
I have talked to my daughter about whether she would want to come with me for a week long Holiday and she was emphatically enthusiastic about that.
Up until 4 months ago, I had been with her virtually every single day since she was born, and looked after her and her sister while her Mother went away for several days abroad for work, etc. so there is no care issues or ability questions ( I am a highly qualified Professional Man).
I there any reason why I should not be able to take her away, or action she could take to stop me?
There has been NO formal Care Orders, etc. done as there is no reason for this not to be done in co-ordination with each other as it has been so far.

SeparatedDads Editor 22/03/2016 at 2:30 pm

You would have to take it back to court under a Specific Issue Order. However, you would have to seek legal advice as it may not quite get to court before the May bank holiday.

goingbaldquick 19/03/2016 at 5:50 pm

I split with my ex a nearly 2 years ago and am awaiting my divorce court date, it's very far from amicable. However I did get joint custody and enjoy having my kids more than I would have if I hadn't gone to court, my question is, I've booked a holiday in England for may bank holiday and informed the ex (in January) im taking them. Didn't get a reply saying she had plans so booked it, roll on a couple of months and she's saying I can't take them ! Can she do this or is it back to court I go ?
Regards
M

L 12/03/2016 at 8:35 am

Hi wondered if you could help my husband and I separated 6 months ago out children live with me full time. My ex has demanded a 2 week holiday, I have said I feel two weeks is too much this year as the children are used to me always being there. I feel my youngest imperticular will struggle. I have no problem with them going away with him on holiday but feel one week is enough this year. Until the children are used to being without me. I.e he has his own place and they are staying regular. Am I in my legal right to insist on just a week? Thanks.

manden 08/03/2016 at 10:19 pm

my partner and I are taking his child abroad for a week all is payed for and permission given every was going fine intill his child who is 14 told his mum we were getting married then things changed he's not coming to the holiday my partner was too demanding it's all getting out of hand my partner now had a solicitor who sending his x letteres up to no she still says no she wanted all the holiday details n insurance n flight details do all this has been given and passed to his x wife's solicitor but there saying they have had nothing so his child still can't come to the holiday the wedding she said yet but no holiday my partner has said he can take her to court but going to cost him a fair bit of money we don't really have but he need this sorting has he got a good case of winning he pays for his some never missed a payment birthday r Christmas give his child gifts take his child out on days outings when my partner has been allowed to but all that had stopped as the child just keeps says my mum won't let me come this has gone on for years now but this holiday is the last straw can he have his x in court to claim the loss of money spent on the holiday and because this is not my partners fault can he claim bk all court cost from her that he has and is going to pay out she had caused all this for her selfish reasons to get bk still after all this time at my partner but the child is 15 this year 16 next year I'm sure the mother can't stop my partner from taking his own child on a holiday

SeparatedDads Editor 01/03/2016 at 11:01 am

I am sorry to hear this and hopefully this is something that may blow over, as it seems as well as punishing you, your ex is also punishing your children as a result. I can only suggest you try to speak to her amicably once the dust settles, to see if she will reconsider. Otherwise your next step would be to suggest Mediation as a way of resolving the issue. If she will not consent to this, your only option would be take it to court for a Specific Issue Order. However, you would need to do this at least 8 - 12 weeks prior to the holiday to ensure it reaches court in time. I hope this helps.

Mp 29/02/2016 at 10:07 am

Hi, i have been seperated from my ex partner for 8 years. Things were rocky to start with, but after a couple of years, i met my now-wife. She wasn't very pleased to start with and made things difficult for me to see my 2 children (one now 10 and the other 9) but after a while she was fine and pretty much let us have the children whenever suited me and let me tske them on holiday. She does have a tendancy to take her bad moods out on me, even now! She sent me a message asking when id take the children home last week even though we'd already agreed on a time but whilst out with the children, my battery died. My wife had to reply to her message as i was driving but she wasn't happy with this and has now told us (after verbally agreeing) that we cannot take the children away this year because she doesn't like the way she was spoken to. My children are very happy when they are with us and were very excited about coming away with us and my wifes 2 children again this year.
My name is on my eldest daughters birth certificate but not my youngest as she moved away when she was pregnant and wanted to claim benefits!
Where do i stand? Please help!

SeparatedDads Editor 22/02/2016 at 10:30 am

I'm afraid CSA would not deal with this sort of issue. Your recourse may be to claim the money back through the small claims court if you could prove your ex agreed to the holiday. Or if the holiday is far enough away, you could apply for a Specific Issue Order where the court may produce an order to allow the holiday to continue - please see link: here. I suggest you seek legal advice to see whether it is worth your while.

gazza11 21/02/2016 at 8:03 am

where do you stand as the paying parent... and have a mutual agreement in place stating which days i have my son, i go ahead and book a holiday again agreed by my ex partner by text then out of the blue for reasons only known to herself she changes her mind even though i have paid for his place im curious to know if there is any system/process in place for me to claim my money back through my CSA payments?

SeparatedDads Editor 17/02/2016 at 2:38 pm

You can take a child abroad for 28 days without the permission of anyone else with parental responsibility for the child if you have a child arrangements order. Please see more which

FatherAlone 17/02/2016 at 8:18 am

Me and my ex split over a year ago and me and my immediate family booked a family holiday and I was given permission from my ex to take my 3 year old son with me. The holiday got booked and all tickets paid for. We are due to go on holiday in May this year, but she is now taking away her permission for me to take him, AFTER I've paid for it all and ordered his passport. This is due to her losing custody of our son due to neglect on her behalf. Can I still legally take him on holiday with me as pre-arranged without any legal come back? I don't know where I stand with this situation and the Social services were aware of my son coming with us and haven't said anything about me NOT being able to take him, All they're saying is to seek legal advice. Can you HELP?

Robsully 29/01/2016 at 7:11 pm

Do I have to give hotel details flight number details of a holiday. I am due to take our two childrene Abroad in August , my ex who they live with says otherwise she will withold the passports! She has taken them abroad every year since our split 6 yrs ago and had never given me any details of her holidays! I fear this is her way of trying to control and is out of spite! Can she legally do this, I understand both is parrents should be made aware of details but it only seems to go one way! This is the first time I have been able to afford a foreign holiday having taken them various uk ones till this year. I feel she should trust my decisions, why should she not when I have them every other weekend and often school holidays for weeks.

Chuckie 13/10/2015 at 4:06 am

Hi I have just split up from my girlfriend and I want to know what are my legal rights when it comes to my 5 month old son who as my last name and I am on his birth certificate

SeparatedDads Editor 02/09/2015 at 12:16 pm

Please see article: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, whichAlso: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichI hope this helps.

jh 01/09/2015 at 2:48 pm

I have a court order in place from April 2015. These allows me to see the kids every other week and a weds night. Previously it was 9 months access each week before she changed it. There have never been any issues with the kids or any problems with the arrangements.

On finding out im seeing the woman i left her for, my wife is now blocking all attempts to contact my children via phone, facetime etc etc and im worried this will spill over into direct access.

Im desperate for advice in terms of next steps and should i start thinking about contempt of court?

Concerned 31/08/2015 at 5:31 pm

I really need some advice here. My partner has a three year old son with his Wife, but they separated nearly 2 years ago; we have been together for a year. She has been with her current partner for just over 2 years but for some reason still tries to be very controlling of her ex.

We have booked a holiday for us and their son, just for 4 nights in Disneyland Paris but she has decided that she won't let him go because, in her words, she wanted to be the first to take him on holiday and "doesn't feel comfortable with him leaving the country", which I suspect is only because of her first statement. Currently, their son is with his father for 3 nights and 4 days every week anyway and they have a very good relationship.

Unfortunately their son doesn't have his own passport at the moment but as the parents are still technically married, I believe that his father can sign the application.

Is there anything she can legally do to stop us going?

Thank you.

lovingdad 16/08/2015 at 4:27 pm

I met my partner at the end of 2011. We were both over the moon when she found out she was pregnant. Despite being engaged and our wonderful baby daughter arriving December 2014, she decided on a months break at the end of June and went back to stay at her mums which is walking distance away (2 mins). She has said that she nows wants different things in life and has no feelings for me anymore so why see a councillor as they would not be able to do anything (her words) and on that basis the relationship is now over (Mid July 2015).
Of course I am absolutely devastated. The fact we had so much, moved to her home town with my older daughter (20 miles from my home town) in Feb 15 and stayed with her parents whilst the house we had here was done up by her dad. We moved in end of April, she went to stay with her parents with our baby end of June after announcing she needed a break to clear her head and has ended up not returning.
Its now very clear she is being very controlling over when I can see my daughter and text me Friday morning to say our daughter will not be with me Saturday at 10am, it will now need to be 1pm so all plans went up the wall. There is no consideration for me or my eldest daughter who I have shared care over and stays with me every other week for 6 nights.

I'm looking to speak to any other dads that feel they are in the same boat.

SeparatedDads Editor 24/06/2015 at 2:25 pm

@RSTCNO 6 - unfortunately, it might take considerably longer that that for it to be heard in the courts. You would have to check on the timescales before you filed the order.

RSTCNO 6 22/06/2015 at 4:08 pm

Thank you for the reply and information , I will look into obtaining the order you speak of , do you know how long this process can take as I have 2 and a half weeks until our holiday
Many thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 22/06/2015 at 2:20 pm

@RSTCNO6 - I think the best thing would be to apply for a Specific Issue Order. I'm sure it will make you sleep better if you know the court has ruled whether you can or can't take your children away. Plus, if you took them away without consent, it would only create bad feeling and may be worse for you in the long run. You will need to leave enough time for this issue to get to court though, as it gets very busy at this time of year due to parents having the same or similar holiday problem. I hope this helps.

RSTCNO6 19/06/2015 at 2:06 pm

My partner and I have been separated over 2 years , we have 2 children and have shared PR all this time although not legally , I work away and have the kids the whole time I am home which until recently meant I was blessed with my kids a lot more time wise than my ex , now my rota has changed we still share PR but it is now more on an equal footing.
I have twice taken my kids abroad and also a camping holiday all with no problem , all details were given to my partner on booking confirmation . This year I have booked a holiday with my new partner and her youngest child with my 2 kids but my Ex partner will not let me take our kids on holiday . As said we have been separated for over 2 years , she has moved on and is pregnant to another man but for some reason does not like that I am trying to take my kids on holiday with someone else
I can prove PR details and times , I can prove all return details with additional return to school/work dates , everything
I just need advice to my rights , do I have a leg to stand on ? I do not want to let my kids look forward to a holiday then it is taken away
We are going for a week
Many thanks in advance

SeparatedDads Editor 16/06/2015 at 2:52 pm

@Jilly - It is such a shame, especially when there are so many dads out there that are desperate to have this kind of relationship with their child. However, unfortunately, there is little you can do to force contact between your child and their non-resident parent.

Jilly 13/06/2015 at 11:40 pm

Help please my 8 year old father is in and out of his life. Just now we are into week 12 with no contact from him.we have been amicable since split,even though he left me after our son was born, but I always have done right thing to keep my son having relationship with his dad.my sons behaviour is now out of hand that he is on waiting list for children's mental health he is very angry and emotional. I don't feel like I can let this continue for the sake of my son and he also makes comments like "id be better off without a dad" he just wants his dad to come see him but sadly his dad has never put his son first. Its irregular contact and can be weeks or months.What rights do I have. I feel I have tried but my son is suffering because of the lack of his dad in his life.please help thank you

Ni 11/06/2015 at 4:22 am

Hi, I just got in to a big fight with my boyfriend! He was talking to anorher girl in an unappropiate way. We have 2 girls together! I planned over 2 months ago ro visit my family out of the country! He just told me to forget about the trip! Can he stop me for going? We are not married or nothing! We live together! Thanks

Love 10/06/2015 at 10:08 am

Hii, we have Indian passports but i want go back my country with my 2 years son and my wife don't want go back, my passports in ukba for visa can i go with my son if she no agree.

ComeOnIrene 04/06/2015 at 1:35 pm

I have a 2 year old daughter, myself and her dad (my x) are not married but he is on her birth certificate. He has her every other weekend for the whole weekend. All my family now live in Australia. We (daughter and myself) are going to visit in September and may even stay and not return to the UK. I'm just wondering, even thought my x has said he wont stop me from doing this. My worry is he is just saying this and after the move will the start to make things difficult. Can he force us to come home is what i suppose I am asking as he is on her birth certificate.

Mac82 19/05/2015 at 7:35 pm

Hello there,

I married my husband 2 years ago, and quite soon after his behaviour significantly deteriorated. Turns out he is an alcoholic and had managed to conceal this for the entire duration prior to us marrying. I've also recently seen the divorce document for his previous marriage and his alcoholism is cited as the reason the relationship broke down. We have a one year old son and after trying and trying to help him, the relationship became unsafe I felt. Essentially he has been emotionally and verbally a sing me on a daily basis and on several occasions things boiled over and he pushed me whilst drunk. He also has threatened to kill me and my son on several occasions. I realise this site is aimed at Dads, but I wanted advise because he is a Dad to my son. I recently left, it was planned with him, and returned to my home country of Latvia, as I have no support network here and as recently made redundant. He is constantly sending me abusive messages then the next minute is nice to me and apologising - all dependant on if he's drunk or not. I'm returning this week for 5 days as he was supposed to be going into rehab and I wanted to be here to show some support: he's no longer doing this as he is too mentally unstable. My query relates to my rights to have already taken my son back to Latvia, and if I can get into trouble for this based upon the circumstances? He is on the birth certificate. I a happy to seek legal advice to resolve the issue and get something in writing to say I can...but I just wanted some advice first. Thanks for your help

SeparatedDads Editor 15/05/2015 at 1:45 pm

@Capt - you can ask her to be flexible and perhaps call at a different time. However, she wants to stick to the court order, which she has every right to do then she can say no. If you try to stop the phone calls, you will be in breach of the contact order and she can take you back to court. It is really up to you to work around the court order and perhaps have dinner earlier or perhaps at 8pm. I hope this helps.

Capt 13/05/2015 at 10:59 pm

Question my sons mom is allowed one phone call a night between 730 an 8pm My sons mom calls at 730 an talks to my 2 yr old for a half an hour. Even if we're having a family dinner My question is can I limted the amount of time she can talk.? All the order says is she allowed one phone call between 730 an 8 Please help

SeparatedDads Editor 17/04/2015 at 12:07 pm

@Cmk - for official reasons it would be better that any 'specific issue order' went through the courts, as if granted and your ex tried to stop the holiday, then she would be in serious breach of a court order which could lead to more serious repercussions and even fines. But you need to apply well ahead of the holiday in order for it to get heard. Regarding problems with legal aid, you can self-litigate, see our Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself article, here and also here. You can also get help from a McKenzie Friend, see link Using a McKenzie Friend in Court, here. If a case is well researched, prepared and presented it can do you a lot of favours, plus you have the chance to get your own opinions across. A lot of fathers are finding much success self-litigating. In answer to another of your questions, she can try to stop the holiday if she applies for a Prohibited Steps Order, but she would be unlikley to suceed if your eldest is 14 and hasn't seen his mum for a year. You may find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful, there are a lot of previous postings and very useful advice from fathers who have been through this or similar. I hope this helps.

Cmck 16/04/2015 at 7:15 pm

Hi am looking for some advice I'm getting married abroad in July this year, I was previously married now divorced, my son 14 and daughter 17 live with myself from previous marriage and my 2'other kids with the x, a court order was in place that kids in each other's care had 2 residential stays each week, but my x has constantly over last 3 years stopped my access from anything from a week to 4 weeks at a time'stating she makes the decisions in their life's I am trying to go through the courts now but it is proving a lengthy process as having problems with legal aid, I am also going to courts to apply to take them away for 2 weeks in July but am running out of time fast, social work are involved and although they can't be shown to be taking sides they see there is a serious problem and they can't see any reason why she should stop them going on holiday and in favour of it, I have written a letter/referral to children's reporter on the advice of the social worker the two kids involved are 10 and 11
The social worker has said the children's reporter can over rule the courts when it comes to children, a couple of questions if you can answer
Firstly can the reporter order her to let children go as they are desperate to go on holiday
Secondly can they overrule the courts and grant me more access or make me main carer if they feel kids would be better of with myself
One last question the 14 year old in my care hasn't seen or spoken to his mum in a year now although she is meant to take him 2 nights a week, we are afraid when we get to airport she will stop him going just out of spite my boy said there's no way she's stopping him, can she stop him at airport even though she takes nothing to do with him now and has broken the court order for over a year now ??
Thanks C

SeparatedDads Editor 15/04/2015 at 9:44 am

@John B - I'm sorry to hear this. You may be interested in one of our partner articles: The Psychological Effect of Separation on Children, whichAlso, the 'emotional' section of Separated Dads may help you further. I'm sure it is just a stage and it will pass.

Sarah Editor 15/04/2015 at 9:40 am

@johnB - some children can just be very clingy to one parent and more often that not it is the parent that they spend the most time with. She may be young, but emotions are still riding high and she will be aware of the separation. With me, it was always the other way around, my daughter never wanted to come back to me because she never knew when she might see her dad again. She was only two, but the split really affected her. Could there be something she doesn't like about where you live, or what you spend time doing with her? Perhaps you could begin to entice her with different fun things to do. I'm sure it is just a phase, but I know it is incredibly upsetting while it lasts.

johnB 12/04/2015 at 7:00 am

Hi I have been to court where I get my child over nite on a Friday into the sat 4pm and also on a Tuesday b4 thus I was getting her monday to Thursday for a few hours each day with no over nites the new court form of Friday over nite and tuesday has been running 7 months with more less no problems I have been split with my ex now coming up 2 years and still get some problems.with my ex even at xmas I had my ex shouting with are 3 year old her arms away on to your new family and daddy away to his real family she did say sorry for saying now but I have a problem where anytime I pick my.child up the first thing she says is I don't want a sleep over this has only started say 5 weeks ago this week I went to pick her up as everyone was of work and school she did not want to leave her mother and she kicked up bad saying she does not want me and for me to go away when I had her in my arms she was kicking and pruching me I walked away with her in my arms trying my best to talk to her and try to find out what the problem was but after 15 mins of crying I had to let her go back to her mother that was the Tuesday where I don't have a over nite with her more less the same thing happen on the friday where I went to meet my.child outside her school / as that's where I would normal get her she was with her granny and her ant again she she started to cry she does not want me or want to go with me I just know what to do about it I am waiting to get down to my solicitor soon as I wanted to get more time with her by the courts I just want what's best for my child if anyone could help or give there input to what I should do anything wouod be great she is only 3 coming 4 very soon me and her mother are not even on talking terms for the pass 6 weeks

Liz Editor 02/04/2015 at 2:33 pm

@Joel - you would have to take it to court for a Specific Issue order, which will allow you as a parent to take him away, if the court agrees. However if the holiday is next week then this is a bit late, as you normally have to give it as much time as possible. I hope she changes her mind and lets him go.

SeparatedDads Editor 11/03/2015 at 2:41 pm

@ted - as with the previous comment below I'm afraid you would have to go through the courts to apply for a 'specific issue' order to get official permission to take your daughter away. for more information. I suggest you may want to think about taking it through courts for more access too, as you can't be held to ransom. We have a Separated Dads Facebook page which may help you as there are many fathers going through exactly the same issues that can offer advice and support. I hope this helps.

ted 10/03/2015 at 4:42 am

Hi, I have been separated with my ex for about 9 month and we have a daughter who is 18 month old, she won't let me take her on holiday or have her two nights on the run making it impossible for me to take her away and have a nice time. Can anyone give me advice how I can take her away? My ex is letting me see her but only for 1 night every other week and when it suits her and I didn't want to go down the contact order route or is that what you have to do to take her away for a week? Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 23/02/2015 at 2:48 pm

@oggy - you would have to apply for a 'specific issue' order through the courts. for more information. I hope this helps.

oggy 21/02/2015 at 7:49 am

hi all... we are married and live together... i want to take my daughter (4yo) on a holiday abroad for 5-6 days and my wife does not agree... can i go with my daughter or do i need some court order or something else ?

elvis 06/02/2015 at 12:04 pm

me and my ex girlfriend slit 1 year ago she stop me seeing my son because she dont like my new girlfriend not seen my child for 3 to 4 months now and he is only 17 month old she and her boyfriend going for two week holiday to new your on 14 th of february and she not told me yet she is going i find out from friend how to stop her please help......

SeparatedDads Editor 20/03/2015 at 11:48 am

@bob - Has your ex sought permission to do this? As parents do not have an automatic right to take their child out of school for a holiday. The law (the Education Act) reads that parents have a duty to ensure that their child receives an education, and if your child is attending school, that is the way they receive their education and that should be prioritised over any holiday plans. The schools can make allowances if a reason has cropped up to make families want to take their child away, especially if that is a time-related reason such as a family occasion such as a wedding taking place abroad. Some of the factors that will influence a school's decision about whether they will grant permission for parents to take their children out of school will include the length of the absence, the reason for the absence and the timing of the absence - if your child is about to take public exams such as GCSEs or A Levels, or has only just settled into a new class or year group, the request is less likely to be looked upon favourably. Also, you may want to bear in mind that if parents ask permission for their child to miss a period of time from school, then that permission is turned down, but parents go ahead and take their child out of school anyway, then this will be classes as 'unauthorised absence' and parents are liable to be punished, usually through a financial fine. If you are concerned about this, is may be worth double checking with the school whether the permission has been granted. If you are against this you can also apply through the courts for a Prohibited Steps order in order to prevent this happening if you think it is not in your daughter's best interests. I hope this helps.

jules Editor 23/12/2014 at 10:58 am

@bob - if you have parental responsibility then you have as much of a right to your children as her, but it depends if you want it to become a tug of war which can be quite distressing for all concerned - you probably need to work this one out diplomatically between yourselves.

bob 21/12/2014 at 4:51 pm

hi I'm on holiday with my daughteras have her for a week over Christmas by the court order. My ex is on her way to pick my daughter up as when ever she is on the phone with her she cryies and says she wants to go home, but 5 mins after the call my daughter is fine and happy. As there is a court order in place can my ex just turn up and take my daughter away or can I stop her going? Need help fast

Bubble 09/09/2014 at 7:00 pm

Hi All,

I broke with my ex partner 3 years ago. I have a contact order from Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm. I have him during the week too when I aren't working but this is not official. I've already taken him on a aboard holiday (Feb 13) but I've just booked to go away in school holidays next year but this is a flat no.

What rights to I have? How can I be so sure she'll let me pick him up when he are about to leave for the airport as I'm not that confident she will.

Desperate dad 03/09/2014 at 5:01 pm

Hello All.
I am seperated from my Ex-wife and have a 3 year old daughter who spends 3.5 days a week with me and the rest with her mother. I am on her birth certificate and we donot have any legal order.I want to take my daughter to india for holidays and see her extended family. I have literally begged my ex to let me take her few days but she has refused every time. what can i do? can i take her without her consent or should i go to court?

Matt Editor 24/07/2014 at 9:42 am

@Sri, you can take your son on holiday without your ex's permission. You can leave the country for up to 28 days without permission from your ex. If you wanted to go for longer than that you would have to have his consent.

Sri 23/07/2014 at 8:18 pm

Hi, my ex and I don't share a civil relationship. I want to take my son to India. He is not happy with this and I'm afraid he would do anything to sabotage my vacation. My son who is 11 years old is happy to come with me. Can I take him against his dad's consent? Please advise.

AJ Editor 13/06/2014 at 12:19 pm

@KGB73 your ex could be fined by the school/local authority for taking your child away during term time. If he doesn't have permission from the school in the first place then it will be classed as unauthorised and he (and possibly you) will be fined - roughly £60 but it depends where you live as they differ. You can refuse to let him have her, just because he's booked the holiday don't feel bullied into letting her go if you don't agree.

KGB73 13/06/2014 at 7:55 am

Advice please - my ex books holidays in school term time without asking; my daughter lives full time with me. I feel as though I have no chice but to let her go but she's 13 and her grades aren't great. I feel it is irrisponsible to take children out of scholl term time but feel like the 'baddie' saying not. In addition, my ex is very abusive so it makes it difficult to stad up to him.

Belleke 10/04/2013 at 12:06 pm

Hi,I moved from belgium to live in australia in 2006. I'm about to seperate my from my husband. He doesn't agree with my decision and has been threatening me with taken my almost 2 yr old lill girl away as well as repeatedly telling me that i'll loose everything. He's thrown me a few times in my face that he'll stop me for travelling overseas. my husband is aussie and my girl is born in australia.He calmed down now and prob believes I wont walk out. I've booked my trip in januari to go to europe and visit my family with my girl. I've a feeling that he'll try to stop me if I'd try to walk out on himOur flights are booked for juli, I was wondering if I could go and already get an approval from a judge so he cant get in my way or scare me with threats.Thank you

amicable 30/03/2013 at 7:14 am

I have been divorced from my husband for 3 years and have the residency order for our 2 children. He has been making things extremely difficult with regards to communication over our children and doesn't respond to phone calls or text messages. He prefers communicating through the children, which I think is unfair and unhealthy for them. We have a court order regarding maintenance of which he has gone back on and reduced the amount of his own free will for over a year. I was told there is very little I could do as he was stating he was in the process of going bankrupt and you can't get blood out of a stone. He at present pays nothing for the children, despite working, and has not done since Sept 2012. I have now resorted going to the CSA of which only added fuel to the fire. He often returns the children late when he has them and at times has refused to return the altogether. I have learnt through the children that he is now taking the children abroad during term time and I want to know if he can do this without my permission. He believes as a father he can do what he likes, I understand he has parental responsibility, but I have the residency order. I don't want to stop my children going away, I simply want to know what's going on. I am not happy about them missing school as he did this last year also without asking me.My children are aged 8 and 11.I have asked numerous times to meet to discuss things and try to be amicable, which have been ignored. I am at my wits end and have had enough of the anamosity! Please Help!

Twigs 20/03/2013 at 6:26 pm

My ex and I split 8 years ago after. Very abusive relationship he is an alcoholic n drug addict constantly in and out of prison and we have a daughter together who was born after 2003 his name is on the birth certificate but she doesn't have his surname ,, he hasn't had contact with his child in 8 years despite me saying I'd never stop him seein her I just asked if he did come to be sober n turn up at a reasonable hour which he refused . I have no idea where he is and I've not had a csa payment in over 2 years I'd like to take my child on holiday but do I need his permission and signature to do this .....

john5 29/01/2013 at 7:29 pm

I live in the uk and am married my ex lives in poland with my 2 year old son. he was born in poland and I am not on the birth certificate.i have always sent her money for rent and bills and even bought her a car, she works 5 days and my son is with a child minder from 8 - 5 everyday mon-fri. I visit every 2 weeks. I do not think my son should be with a child minder all day nearly every day. is there any way I can get custody.

Nvh 14/01/2013 at 1:50 pm

I have been divorced 3 years and plan to marry again in June I have asked my son who is 13 to come to Poland where I am to marry and he has said yes. When I asked my ex- wife if this would be ok she at first said yes then wanted to know how many days. When I told her she said he probably would not like to spend that long in Poland saying that I left him alone with strangers the last time he went and he didn't like it. Besides this it has upset my new partner who has a wonderful caring family who love him as one of their own and only want the best for him. I have booked the flights anyway as they would get sold out due to it being half term. She has accused me and my family of using him as a trophy son/grandson and said that he deserves better than this from all of us? Last year she remarried not telling me which I didn't mind but she left my son with her parents for 3 weeks while she went to Vegas and the carribean! When I found out she was away I got to see him a little over this period which was fine.she says that she has planned to take time off too over the same period when I am getting married to spend some time with him which sounds co-incidental. I can't seem to make sense of what she wants she seems to want to own me and have power over me though we have both moved on. Sometimes I think that the only time she will be happy is when I am dead even though she was the cause of the split initially she seems to want to compensate for her guilt by trying her best still to make things difficult and make me unhappy. Any thoughts on how I can get her to see things in a different light? I have tried for years to be nice and civil but it never has really worked with her. At the end of the day my son should be able to be allowed to say what he truly wants without being afraid to upset either of us. If he does not come to my wedding I will of course be upset but would accept it if it were his decision not influenced by her opinions

Anguished Parent 12/01/2013 at 7:54 pm

Hi,

My ex and I have been separated for over 6 years now, we have a 7 year old daughter. After years of anguish, no contact, and regular bouts of abuse, from 1am phone calls, to eggs at my windows, I went to court and obtained a contact order. This was minimal due to everything that had occurred in the past and I was painted as an irresponsible parent, the agreement was 3 night's per month, with additional days during half term, holidays etc.

Since the order has been in place I am no longer permitted to speak with my ex, but have to deal directly with his partner, who is very vindictive.

This week I was supposed to collect my daughter for her full weekend, and received a text saying you can't see her this weekend, it's next weekend now, with lost of profanities thrown in for good measure. This causes me some distress as I have to work 2 weeks out of 4.
I managed to re arrange my shifts to accomodate this.

I then made a call to my ex's partner to explain that in February I wouldn't be around for the scheduled weekend, but could however do the weekend prior and the weekend after, and asked them to let me know which suited so I could arrange the time off work.

I was instantly told that i could ommit my planned weekend but could see her on no other, which meant just on night in an entire month.

I then sent datews via email to cover the next 6 months explaining that during this time there was only 1 occasion that I would need to amend the contact scheduled.

amendments were instantly rejected citing reasons that they had 'family plans' over the coming 7 weekends and could't possibly ruin them, in addition I was told that they plan to marry this year and once they had my ex's partner would apply for parental responsibility, which would mean my daughter moving 200 miles away.

Please can someone explain what my rights are?
I plan to go back to court to request a change to the order, making it less stringent, and allowing more time. What worries me the most is relocation and parental responsibility being given to someone who has clear hatred for me. I honestly believe all these actions are done with the intention to damage my relationship with my child, and cause me disruption and pain.

Please Help

simon 19/11/2012 at 11:31 am

My partner and I split in 2008. We had a mutual agreement at that tme that I would have my son 7 days out of 14. This all changed in 2010 when I intriduced my son to a new partner (I waited 6 month s so I was sure of the relationship and introduced him at a family christening so he was surrounded by family and people he was comfortable with). My ex then stopped all access to my son for 6 months. I went through solicitors to obtain Parental Responsibility and 4 days before it was due to go to court my ex relented, signed the PRA and granted me access again (Albeit reduced to 3 days per week). I want to take my son on holiday for 2 weeks next year. My ex is saying that I can't do this and can only take him for a week. I can see no reason other than her wanting to retain an element of control over my life. My son wants to go, I'm a good dad and my partner enjoys a great relationship with my son.Can she do this?? Any help/advice would be appreciated.

rob 12/11/2012 at 10:56 pm

Me and my ex wife have been apart for 10 weeks now and we have 4 children togetherthe problem is when I have my children a weekends she wants to know my every move like where they are staying what they are doing she rings me all the time.my question is do I have to tell her all the information does she have a legal right or is it none of her business as I am there farther and they will be under my supervision while they are with me.hope someone can shed some light on this.

Jimmy 31/10/2012 at 1:23 pm

I have been seperated from my ex for approx 3 years. I now have a partner who ive beeen with for 1 year and we are living together.

We recently booked a holiday for me, my partner, her daughter and my son (4 years old) to spain for 2 weeks. My ex said at the time that it was ok to take him for the 2 weeks which is why we then booked it. Now she is saying I cant take him, can she stop me? I have parental responsability as I am on the birth certificate and he has my last name. We have no arrangements through CSA but I do pay maintenance each month for him which is agreed between the both of us, I also see him on average 3-4 times per week on average in which he stays with me and my partner.

I really dont know what to do, all I want is to take him on holiday. any advice would be helpful

chiki1122 10/08/2012 at 10:16 pm

hi

my ex wants to take my 9 yrs old son to africa but he is not telling me where in africa he is going, what type of holiday he is going, date of flight etc. i don't mind him going but i am very worried what if he doesn't come back. please advice what should i do

Billy boy 17/06/2012 at 2:41 pm

My ex's new boyfriend has made serious threats against me can I take action against him to stop him being around my children if I consider him dangerous and unstable?

kev 29/05/2012 at 5:12 pm

Hi I have a son that is 5 yrs old ive had regular overnight contact wiv him for the last 3 years, in the last 2 weeks my ex has said the only contact I can have is at her house from now on. We we're due to visit my parents nxt wk and go on holiday in august both of which he is no longer allowed to do, she says this is due to a massive change in his behaviour. I would just like to know legally where I stand and wot I can do?

mushy pea 16/05/2012 at 1:10 pm

Hi my son is 9 months old and recenly his father got guardianship I wish to take my son for a holiday for a week only and his father wants the same otherwise he wont sign the passport ! he only has him for 8 hours a week like! and he said I cant go any longer than a week with him! its unfair and his still doing his controlling ways! surely guardianship dont give him this much power!

Phil 04/05/2012 at 10:10 am

I have been separated from my ex for almost 5 years now. My ex is a complete control freak who allows me very limited access to my daughter and never invites me to important occasions in my daughters life. I have been playing the "keep the peace" card now for a long time in the hope that she will come round and see that I am not one of these fathers that will just walk away and I WILL be a part of my daughters life. However I am only aloud 3-4 hours a fortnight, and it must be at her home and im not aloud to take my daughter off on my own. Im so hurt and tired of all this, i just want to do what normal fathers do and take her to the cinemas, or safari park, or sea side just the normal fun things that are expected of a father. I love my daughter so so much but the bond I have is being limited so much by my very hurtful, evil ex. I have to change this now before she gets any older. Just need some advice on what to do and where to seek help. Im guessing this need to to resolved in a court room as I have tried to come to some arrangement but she is just a cow what else can i say. COW. Does anyone know what kind of access I could obtain through the courts or what costs I can expect to pay? Any advice would be very very much appreciated and taken on board. Thanks

Andy 19/02/2012 at 9:58 pm

I am separated from my partner and we have a three year old girl. Both my Ex Partner and I are named on my Daughters Birth Certificate. My Daughter has my Surname.My Ex is looking to take my Daughter abroad for a weeks holiday, a trip that I am perfectly ok with.My question is whether I would need to provide any documentation or authority for the trip to happen as their surnames are different and there will only be one Parent present on the journey?

Johnston 26/08/2011 at 8:51 pm

My ex partner is taking our two year old son on holiday from 16th - 20 September 2011, I'm not sure if it's abroad or within UK. I've asked her where she's taking my son and who will be going to the holiday with my son but she won't tell me. Although my ex and I are not married, I am on my son's birth certificate and my son lives with me a few nights a week. Do I have the right to know where my son is going, either abroad or within UK and who will be spending time with my son during this holiday?

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