Parental Responsibility Guide and Letters

Author: Clare Birtles

This is our first guide and letter template pack, in a series of six. It is intended to help you understand Parental Responsibility and the rights and responsibilities that come with it. In addition when you download there are 12 letters which you can adapt to use in a whole host of circumstances.

The guide includes comprehensive detail on numerous Parental Responsibility considerations and issues including:

If you need to communicate formally about parental responsibility matters with your ex or their solicitor, you can quickly create professional correspondence using our free Letter Builder.

What Parental Responsibility is, how long it lasts and can it be taken away
How to obtain Parental Responsibility
Parental Responsibility agreements and orders
Decisions made by you/your ex and what to do if you don't agree
When your child is old enough to make certain decisions
Mediation
Specific issue orders and prohibited steps orders

If you want to download this guide (for example to print it off),

You can you can do so here. Or you can read it below:

Parental Responsibility (PR) is the term used to describe the rights, authority, powers, responsibilities and duties parents can have when it comes to looking after their children.

PR encompasses all of the decisions parents make for their children throughout their childhood. There is no exhaustive list of what these responsibilities, rights, duties and powers are, but they can include:

Naming the child
Raising the child is a safe and secure environment
Making decisions on any religious or cultural upbringing
Deciding where and how a child is to be educated and having access to his or her school reports and records
Access to a child's medical records and making decisions regarding any medical treatment they may need to undergo
Deciding where a child will live
Ensuring that the child is suitably fed and clothed
Disciplining the child
Taking the child outside England and Wales and consenting to the child's emigration
Consenting to a child entering marriage aged 16 or 17 years

Note:
* More than one person can have PR at any given time. * All adults with PR have an equal say in the child's upbringing.

Do I Have a Right To Parental Responsibility?

Fathers do not really have a specific right to see their children or to have PR. Instead, the law focuses on PR and the rights and duties it gives a parent.
PR is a legal status that means you have a duty and the authority to look after your child.
PR gives you a right to contribute towards the upbringing of your child in a safe and secure environment.

If you have PR, this does not mean you can override the mother's wishes and decisions, or her right to make everyday decisions concerning the child. Mothers and fathers should try to agree on decisions regarding the child together. If major issues cannot be agreed upon, you will most likely end up in court and a judge will determine the outcome.

It should be noted that once or if you have PR, you do not obtain any extra rights to see your child.

Do I Have Parental Responsibility?

In the UK, mothers always have automatic PR for their children. Fathers however, do not necessarily have PR.

Married to Child's Mother: If you were married to your child's mother at the time your child was born, or you subsequently marry the mother of your child, you will automatically have acquired PR. You will not lose PR if you and your (ex) wife later divorce. Once acquired, PR is permanent.

Unmarried and child born after 1/12/2003: If you were unmarried when your child was born, and he or she was born on or after 01 December 2003, and you are named on the birth certificate, you will automatically have PR. (You should note that you will be unable to register your name on the birth certificate without the mother's express permission.)

Residence Order: If you have a Residence Order determining where and with whom the child is to live with, you will automatically have acquired PR, if you do not already have it. It is not possible to have a residence order without also having PR. PR will continue until the order ceases, if it is obtained as a result of a residence order.

If I don't have parental responsibility how can I get it?

There are two ways of obtaining PR for your child, if you do not acquire it automatically:

1. A Parental responsibility agreement

If you want to play an active part in the decision making throughout your child's upbringing and be entitled to help make important decisions, you can enter into a 'Parental Responsibility Agreement' with the mother.

A Parental Responsibility Agreement bestows PR upon you, regardless of the fact that you are no longer in a relationship with the mother. A Parental Responsibility Agreement is a legal agreement which must be signed by both the mother and yourself.

You will need to complete form CPRA (1) parental responsibility agreement (the signatures need to be filled in in black ink) before you go to court. You then need to go to your local Family Proceedings Court, County Court, or the Principal Registry of the Family Division in London, with the child's mother, so that both of your signatures can be witnessed by an authorised member of court staff.

The child's mother must take along the child's full birth certificate to prove that she is her mother. Both you and the mother will also need to take photographic and signature ID, such as a passport or your full driving licence.

When your completed application form has been witnessed, you have to send the original paperwork along with two photocopies to: The Principal Registry of the Family Division, First Avenue House, 42-49 High Holborn, London, WC1 6NP.

Once this has been processed, you and the child's mother will each receive a sealed copy of the agreement and the original will remain at court on the court file. The agreement will take effect when it is recorded in London.

You should seek legal advice from a solicitor where possible, before entering into such an agreement.

2. A Parental responsibility order

If the child's mother does not agree to you having PR for the child, you could apply for a 'Parental Responsibility Order' through the courts. This order will state that a specific named person, i.e. you, have PR for your child. It is then shared between yourself and the child's mother, and any other person that has PR for your child.

You will need to show that you are the child's father before PR is granted and will most likely be directed to apply for a 'declaration of parentage' to confirm that you are the father.

If you apply through the courts, the judge will want to be clear on why you want to have PR and will look at a number of things, including:

Your relationship with the child
How you already provide for the child, financially, physically and emotionally
How you want to be able to provide for the child in the future
Your reasons for wanting PR
What is in the child's best interests

Can I have parental responsibility for my child even if he/she does Not live with me?

The short answer is yes!

If you have PR, you have a right to be involved in your child's upbringing, even if he or she does not live with you anymore. Where your child lives is irrelevant to your PR status.

The child's mother make the decisions regarding his or her everyday life, such as bed times, mealtimes, watching television, attendances at clubs etc and you cannot tell her how to make these more minor decisions. But for other more important things, such as which school your child goes to, what medical treatment he or she has, what religion if any they follow and so on, you have the same right to making decisions as the mother.

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Are there any limitations on the decisions I can make by myself?

PR is shared equally between every person with PR for the child. Theoretically, an individual with PR can make decisions about the child on their own if it is necessary and reasonable, given the circumstances.

Parent with day to day care, makes 'everyday' decisions: The parent with the day to day care of the child, whether this is the mother or father, will make the everyday decisions about the child, and should not be prevented from doing so by the non-resident parent.

Important decisions need permission from anyone else with PR: You cannot make important decisions about the upbringing of your child without permission from all other persons with PR, unless they delegate all of their power to you. Such important decisions include changing your child's surname, consenting to their marriage or adoption, and deciding whether he or she emigrates to another country.

You should consult the child's mother regarding any important decisions, in order to save recourse to the courts if / when disagreements arise. Once a decision has been made by the court, everyone with PR must do exactly what the judge has ordered and the power to make decisions for yourself will have been taken away from you. It should be noted that the court is very unlikely to want to interfere in the more minor and trivial decisions that parents should be able to agree upon between themselves.

When the child is old enough to make certain decisions: As your child gets older, he or she may want to make decisions for themselves. If they have the capacity do so, your full input and PR may diminish. This does not mean that you no longer have PR, but that your child is competent to make certain decisions on their own. It is therefore important to include your child in making important decisions as they get older. If you don't and the matter ends up in court, the courts could deem the child able to make the decision without your permission if he or she fully understands the situation. Simply put, if your child is capable of consenting, they have a right to be consulted over important decisions regarding their upbringing.

PR includes the right to refuse and/or consent to medical treatment for your child. However, if a doctor does not believe that the parents' decision is in the best interests of the child, he can make an application to the courts. Medical decision-making is one area that can place limits on your powers and rights.

What happens if I don't agree with decisions my ex-spouse/partner is making?

If you and your ex-wife or ex-partner disagree over the decisions surrounding the upbringing of your child, there are several ways of resolving them.

The most cost effective and straight forward way would be to resolve the matter directly between yourselves, each explaining their views and trying to reach a mutual decision.

Mediation:

If this does not work, you could attend mediation at a family mediation centre. Mediation is a way of resolving disputes without recourse to the courts. Typically, a mediator will help the parties to negotiate a settlement, without telling them what to do. You will maintain control of the proceedings and be able to reach a mutually satisfactory decision with your ex-partner. Mediation is completely confidential.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Specific issue order or prohibited steps order:

An alternative way of resolving issues is by going to court. You can either make an application for a 'Specific Issue Order' or a 'Prohibited Steps Order'.

A Specific Issue Order - allows the court to make decisions about issues that have arisen in connection with the exercise of PR. They usually relate to major aspects of a child's upbringing.

A Prohibited Steps Order - allows the court to make a ruling preventing one person with PR from doing a certain thing, such as changing the child's surname without the father's permission. It would then be the case that the specific step would only be allowed to be taken with the court's permission.

A specific issue order or prohibited steps order can only be made in relation to child under the age of 16 years.

How long does parental responsibility last for?

PR automatically comes to an end when the child reaches 18 years of age. At this point, the child will become an adult and can make their own decisions about their future. A PR Order from the court will also end automatically when the child reaches 18 years of age.

If PR is given to you through the implementation of a residence order, your PR will come to an end when the residence order ends.

Can my parental responsibility be taken away from me?

It is extremely difficult to remove PR from a parent once they have acquired it.

If you were unmarried and gained PR by the registration of your name as the father on your child's birth certificate, it can only be removed by a court order, a court application by another adult with PR for the child, or the child's own application if he or she is old enough to understand the proceedings and their implications.

Occasionally, a PR order or parental responsibility agreement can be brought to an end by the court, but the welfare of the child will be the judge's first and foremost consideration when deciding whether to do this or not. PR is usually only removed from a parent if there is risk of serious harm or injury to the child.

To accompany this guide, we have a series of letter templates for you to use.

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You can Download The Parental Responsibility Guide and Letters Here.

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55 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

Ben 02/12/2020 at 5:55 am

My daughters my and I are separated, we were married, she trys to control who I leave my daughter with while I have work some weekends, I don't have a say when she does the same. Is this right surley I can decide on who I belive fit to look after my daughter when she's in my care?
Many thanks

Mika 05/11/2020 at 9:38 am

I'm applying for FM visa. As I understand, I need a other parent confirmation letter how much contact I have with my child. But I can't find any examples for that letter (

Dru 28/12/2019 at 5:38 pm

Hi the mother of our 6yr old daughter walked out nearly 3yrsago,her contact is a minimum (Only monday for 3hrs& Wednesday for 3hrs) I have repeatedly asked for her to see our daughter more but there's always some reason she can't....She's never sort legal advice or asked for our daughter to live with her....My concern is now she has moved in with & settled with another partner she's suddenly wanting to take things to court....I'm our daughters full care giver & am the stability in her life....Where do I stand is the mother does go for residency?

Callum 02/11/2019 at 11:53 am

I have a child with a partner from a previous relationship. I pay maintenance and she allows me regular contact but it is only for a day at a time.

I also have another child in a current relationship but the ex won’t allow me to have contact or let my child visit our house or even meet the other child.

1. Is there anything preventing me from letting my children meet on the days I have both?
2. Is the mother allowed to prevent me having my child at my house because my new partner and child is there?

Lost78 29/08/2019 at 6:43 pm

My wife and I separated in Feb 2018. Initially I had plenty of time with my two children but my wife slowly cut it and in February 2019, she simply stopped all access without reason. She simply emailed and said I couldnt see them anymore. I have written to her on many occasions without reply.

I have discovered this week that she has moved house, to another area with my kids. I discovered this by spotting her house on Rightmove! I have no idea where my kids now live.

What are my rights in this situation?

Taffyboi67 04/09/2018 at 8:30 pm

My ex has just got a Temporary Care Order with a PSO attached - she has lied to the court about her reasons "welfare of the kids" and this has been granted - where do I stand?

Godwin 02/08/2018 at 2:14 pm

I have two children for a immigrant partner that entrap me to get a stay in the country. Later having Found out it all was all a plan to trap me she made somany alligation against me almost tring to put me behind bars. The social services later found out the truth later, that she was very manpulating and abusive and decided to awording me with emergency costerdy order of the two children, which later leading her to flead away with the two children. Four years later she now challenge me with CSA
And they forcing me to pay for child support for £400 every month with an area £7000 this has been going on for 7years and yet the mother would not let me to see the children or have access to them for the past 7 years. Financially am not entitled for legal aid and was told by a solicitor that it will cost me £2,500 for legal battle for the children I am just about surviving on my my monthly salary, paying for two children that I do not have a parential right to see because the mother is making herself above the law. What can I do or where can I get help from because this things is affecting my health.

SeparatedDads Editor 06/07/2018 at 3:23 pm

The matter should be discussed and agreed between both parents. As a general rule, if the parent who usually has the children and cannot have them for any reason, that parent would take responsibility for finding alternative childcare for this interim period. There is no reason why responsibility should fall to the mother, as both parents have equal responsibility to provide for their children.

Stepmum 05/07/2018 at 6:10 pm

So my partner split from the mother of his children. They have a regular agreement of when he sees them which is pretty much half the time. It works well, he's just had a huge operation and is unable to have the children for a few weeks. Now is it his responsibility to provide different childcare becuase they can't come here or is it the mother's responsibility?!

SeparatedDads Editor 14/06/2018 at 12:42 pm

You would have to challenge this either through mediation or via court.

Stu 12/06/2018 at 5:08 pm

Myself and my partner split up quite a long time ago we have 3 children together she has mental health issues and currently not allowing contact with the children l do have PR and now she is not sending the children to school and wants to change school for my oldest child can l stop this?

Jason 28/04/2018 at 1:36 pm

Hi

My ex won't let me take my children out by myself i have to go to her house to see them. I pay child support which was done all out court this was agreed but she insisted me not taking the kids myself and this very stressful what can i do i don't have much money to go to court is this the only option tho.

Billy 27/12/2017 at 6:18 am

Hi,
I pay maintenance which has been calculated through CMS.
I have the children staying overnight two night each week and obviously that has been taken into account when working out the payments.
My ex is now not letting me have the children each week.
Can anyone tell me if I will have to increase my payments to her if she continues to do this?

Sanne 09/04/2017 at 1:53 pm

I would like my girls to get christened .
My girls have a care order but live with me. The baby has no care order.
Through court my husband had withdrawn all responsibility for his children.
Do I by law have to inform him of my intentions to have my girls baptised?

PaulA 29/03/2017 at 1:50 pm

I have a Consent Order for my Daughter which states that I should pay support for her until she is 17 or leaves full time education, which ever is first. My Daughter is current studying a NVQ, NVQ's cannot be full time by there nature (vocational qualification).

The Law changed recently which states that all children should be in education until the age of 18, do I still need to support my Daughter financially.

Squib 26/03/2017 at 12:33 am

I'm trying to word a letter stating that I can look after grandson more than I can my daughter that's why I wanna go for full custody of my grandsons he don't go in foster care

None 20/03/2017 at 11:40 pm

My son is presently unable to make contact with his partner and baby (it's just over 2 weeks since she left). No forthcoming information is available from her family. He despartely wants to see the baby, we have had advice regarding the possibility of mediation and or failing the success of this attempt to seek alternate advise from a solicitor. However would either of these methods be useful or successful should the mother be staying in a women's refuge centre? As a grandparent my heart weighs heavy with the awfullness of the situation and the great sadness endured by the present actions of others. I would so appreciate any advice or support regarding this matter and how to deal with it in a just manner that would we all hope bring about a positive outcome. How would you deal with this situation? Would my son given these circumstances manage to achieve an amicable outcome to see his daughter in the future?

Fergle101 06/03/2017 at 7:54 pm

Hello I'm in need of advice urgently!!
My ex partner is basically telling me I am going to lose my rights to our son, in a previous message she has said she has a legal team in place for me to relinquish my rights to her. I basically told her I would not do that. So the reply I got was I've waited 21months I can wait another 3.
I just need To know what she means by this, and where I stand.
Please feel free to ask me anything

SeparatedDads Editor 10/02/2017 at 2:12 pm

School and local authority staff must treat all parents equally, unless there is a court order limiting an individual's exercise of parental responsibility. Individuals who have parental responsibility for, or care of, a child have the same rights as natural parents; for example: •to receive information, e.g. pupil reports, to participate in statutory activities; e.g. vote in elections for parent governors, to be asked to give consent; e.g. to the child taking part in school trips and to be informed about meetings involving the child; e.g. a governors' meeting on the child's exclusion. which will explain all you need to know.

Sam123 09/02/2017 at 3:58 pm

Hi, my partner is currently not in contact with his child, due to the mother being in breach of a court order, and not letting him see him. We are proceeding through another court order to get contact back. In the meantime, we have contacted the school to request copy of his most recent school photographs, and they have denied him, and said he does not have parental responsibility, yet he is on his child's birth certificate named as the father, which was registered after December 2003. Which we are certain gives him PR? Do the school have the right not to let him have them?

Jacko 01/01/2017 at 1:10 am

I have a court order allowing me to see my 3 children every other weekend and for a week at Christmas. They are aged 9 12 and the oldest is nearly 16.
They have said they don't want to come as often amy more because they are missing out on things like football, scouts and other such activities as well as being with their friends when they are with me.
Their mom says they scream and shout and don't want to come and they have told me themselves. Can I force them if I have a court order?

Baba 01/10/2016 at 10:36 am

How long to receive my court order after my my children case concluded by the judge that was on the 20 Sept but still waiting for the court order from the court, am just desperate to see my lovely boys

mother 26/07/2016 at 11:29 am

My son lives with me and doesn't see his father on a regular basis. Can my son decide to come on holiday with me before he reaches 16 this would only be within a month of his birthday. When he is 16 years old do I need his fathers consent to take him on holiday.

SeparatedDads Editor 22/07/2016 at 12:23 pm

You would have to consult a solicitor directly, as pricing may be different depending upon the level of the solicitor used and the specific company fees.

Jimmy John 20/07/2016 at 10:31 pm

How much does a solicitor charge for a letter to be sent to my ex partner regarding contact with my son?

SeparatedDads Editor 07/07/2016 at 3:07 pm

It is highly unlikely the court would take your brother's child from him if the child is stable, happy and has a consistent upbringing. The court will always act on what it thinks is the best interests of the child and removing a child from the resident-parent is only ever done as a last resort.

jodie 07/07/2016 at 2:14 am

Hi my brother and his ex split a few years ago and my brother has his son full time and he get the benefits eyc for him they both have a history or drugs but his ex is more recent than him. My nephew is well looked after and social services are happy with his care. But the mother has said she is going to court to get him full time and wouldnt allow my brother (or any of our side) to see him anymore when she gets him. Is it possible for her to gain full access again after my brother has had him full time for a year and claims for him etc. Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 11/05/2016 at 1:43 pm

If you are paying child maintenance you may be able to request a 'special expenses variation', for more information. Otherwise your only other option is to suggest mediation in order to sort the issue out, or apply to court.

coy1 10/05/2016 at 5:32 pm

could someone please help me?? I see my son every other weekend, i pay child maintenance without fail! my ex wife will not bring him to see me or pick him up. i drive 1 hour each way to collect and drop him off which is costing me a fortune and i simply can not afford the petrol money to do BOTH runs anymore. i asked for my ex wife to do 1 trip o which she has undeniably refused to do. This is now a massive problem as i will struggle to see my son no.... Does she have a responsibility in ensuring my son sees me? I am desperate to see him and he loves me and cries down the phone to me asking why his mum wont bring him to see me... someone please help..

SeparatedDads Editor 06/05/2016 at 11:30 am

If your ex has significantly broken the order again I suggest you take the matter back to court. See link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here. If it is a serious breach the court will be less lenient on her, therefore it is worth making sure your access is secured. If you can't afford the legal fees you can self-litigate, Many fathers are having a good amount of success this way, if they prepare their cases well. Rather than keeping your child against the wishes of your ex (which can backfire) I would take the legal route. The fact your ex has continued to flout the terms of the order wont be looked upon lightly in court, this is why you should attempt to once again have the order enforced. Make sure you log every breach of the order and research your case well. Our forum may help as a good support network for you, as many dads may have been through the same, so can advise. I shall also put your question on our Separated Dads Facebook page, and our dads may be able to give you some further advice, so please access the page for answers.

Ickers 05/05/2016 at 2:49 pm

I had a court order say I can see my son which he's mother broke the order stopping me seeing him I then took her back to court and had the order enforced she was given 40 hours of unpaid work suspended for a year which is finished now but still she break the enforced order I have spent over £20,000 in fees to see my son now I have to take her back to court this has not only drained me financially but mentally where is the law which helps me because I'm pretty certain if I ever refused to give home back to he's mother I would be arrested

SeparatedDads Editor 03/05/2016 at 3:04 pm

You have rights as a father yes, but if the mother will not allow you to take your son out, then you would have to apply through the courts to let the court decide. Please see page: Contact Orders: the Process, here. The courts do want fathers to have a good relationship with their children, so therefore it is worth taking this route, and once the court issues a court order, your ex will have to abide by its terms.

Dulie100 01/05/2016 at 5:56 pm

Hi, I have done everything to accommodate my ex's need and always had to do things her way just to make it easier to see my son. I am limited to sit in her parents back room whilst constantly watched and judged. She won't allow me to take him for a walk but she wants to take him away on holiday for two weeks. I'm sure I have rights to take him out as she takes him out all the time and isn't breastfeeding so nothing stopping me. As a father do I have rights to do so.

SeparatedDads Editor 09/03/2016 at 10:40 am

Regardless of his background and history, he can take you to court for access. If you have decided to keep your address from your ex so he cannot locate you, the court can put a trace on you. However, this does not mean your ex will find out your address, you can apply for this to remain confidential. It just means it allows the court to find you child's/childrens' whereabouts so he can apply to the courts. Whether future access is allowed or not by the judge, every father has the right to apply for it.

ray 08/03/2016 at 12:07 am

Hello my ex is trying to take me to court he is unfit to be father, as Drinks anD takes Drugs also has history of violence towards me anD other people is there any way he can take me to court when can not contact me or know my address many thanks

Help :( 29/02/2016 at 9:15 pm

Hi my brothers ex partner moved away with my niece over 3 years ago now and we've just finally found her address, how do we/he go about getting official contact with our niece/his daughter as she moved away on a bad note and I assume doesn't want to be found?

SeparatedDads Editor 16/02/2016 at 2:46 pm

If your child of 18 is earning, then as you quite rightly say, you no longer need to pay maintenance for him. However, regardless of whether you see your other child or not, you still are responsible for his day-to-day maintenance. You can see how much you should be paying for your child in education via whichI hope this helps.

SH 16/02/2016 at 1:33 pm

My ex-wife and I divorced when my twin boys were 7 years old, which was 11 years ago, we have always had 50/50 with them, recently as they have got girlfriends and a social life they spend the majority of time with their Mother, it is also easier for one of them to get to college from their Mothers home. They are now 18 years old and were both in further education, one of them recently dropped out of further education and has got a full time job, I therefore advised their Mother I would be reducing the maintenance by 50%, she has hit the roof, saying as they no longer spend as much time with me, I have not been paying enough for quite a while and she intends to go through CSA to get a fairer payment for the child who is still in further education. I would appreciate your opinion, I am not refusing to pay for the child who is still in further education and I accept he doesnt spend as much time with me over the last year.

SeparatedDads Editor 03/02/2016 at 12:30 pm

It is rare that a court will revoke PR from one parent unless there is a very good reason. You can change your child's name without your ex's consent only if you cannot get in touch or locate your ex

B123 02/02/2016 at 10:03 pm

My childs dad is in the birth certificate n my son was born after 2003. He never sees is son and I got a court order so his not aloud near us, he hasn't seen him in over 2years. I want to take pr off him , can I do that? Also I want to change his last name to mine but I herd after three years I do not need his permission and I can do it by de-pole, any help?

SeparatedDads Editor 01/02/2016 at 12:58 pm

I am sorry to hear this. It is up to your ex to decide whether she wants to introduce this man to your son. If you have good reason why you do not wish for this (not just because you dislike him), then you may have the option to apply for a Specific Issue thorugh the courts, However, the courts will have expected you to consider solving this issue by Mediation first, which does cost a lot less too. Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me?

gaffer 31/01/2016 at 8:30 pm

My wife and I have separated at xmas due to her have an affair I have asked her not to introduce our son to this man as I feel it's to early as we have only just separated she has said that I have no say in it its her decision that she can introduce him to this man at this stage, where do I stand on this?

SeparatedDads Editor 26/01/2016 at 11:15 am

I am sorry to hear this. Any court order takes time to apply, it to be investigated and for it to come to court, so I would think you were cutting it a bit fine. I can only suggest you take some legal advice here.

pablo 25/01/2016 at 1:29 pm

Me and my wife are taking her niece and nephew to euro Disney on 2nd march as this was there mothers dying wish who unfortunately pasted away in august.
There mother was married and her husband has brought the kids up since they were 18 months old (now 13, twins). We have just checked the passports and to our horror one of the twins passports has expired. We have tried to renew it but the birth certificate only has her mothers signature on and they have rejected the application saying that her husband has to get a parental responsibility agreement as he is still looking after them. Would we be able to get a parental responsibility order in time? Not bothered about the cost just don't want to let the kids down!

SeparatedDads Editor 12/01/2016 at 2:13 pm

If your ex is not responding and will not go through mediation to sort out the issue, then you would have to apply through the courts. It will be up to the courts to decide what is in the best interests of your children regarding where they live. Before the issue went to a court hearing Cafcass will get involved, please see link: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here. The Cafcass employers who compile the reports are known as Children and Family Reporters. It’s their job to interview both parents in the case, as well as the children, and any others who might be needed, which could mean social workers, medical professionals, or relatives. I hope this helps.

Heartbroken 12/01/2016 at 3:36 am

Hi all,
Basically I am mother of 2 kids. I had given pr to my ex husband as I wanted him to be in his kids lives. They live in Bristol and I live in Manchester. Now the agreement we had was between us. He hardly answers his phone as that's the only was I can speak to my kids, and as Bristol is the other side of England it makes it so hard to go down and see them as much as I liked. I agreed that the kids could live with him until I got back on my feet. And I have done, but I'm not coping well without them. I want them back, it's been a year and a half and it's hard to move on. Is there anything I can do? The agreement was not made through courts. Please help x

dadof2 21/07/2015 at 3:42 pm

Hi

My question is,who is responsible for taking the children to school when the children with the mum,as my hours has changed and its harder to take them to school ?
Also i would like to know how much child support to pay,as ive worked out on the cs calculator that i pay £208 a month for two children but the mum is un happy with this and would like £300,i have the children twice overnight and take them out weekends,because of this she said if i dont pay,the mum will not allow me to see my children.
Its a very testing time at the moment and it fills like i going around in circles,any help would be much appreciated

debbi 20/07/2015 at 9:01 pm

My son and his wife have been separated for 6 wks now. My question is she left the home with their minor daughter and has lived in several different places until deciding what to do. My question is she will not let my son know where she is living and has also removed my granddaughter from her current day care and has placed her in another one and not letting my son know where she is. Is this legal?

Nat1985 16/06/2015 at 10:06 pm

Hi could anyone help please? My partner who I have been with for 3 years now has 2 children previous to me. The mother made a lot of allegations and is lying through her teeth! Stopped contact but met him when she found out we were expecting our first child together to talk about reinstating contact with his other children. She also told him of he left me and the baby she would want him back! He is trying to obtain school reports etc he has pr but the school says they have to ask the mother first! We thought that he would have the right to this information on how his children are doing at school and any other info for that matter. What do we do?

SeparatedDads Editor 06/05/2015 at 11:59 am

@tired:-( - if he has residency he is obliged to have them as theoretically the court order is still in force as it hasn't been changed. The only recourse you have is to take it back to court for breach and to request the changes you want to the order regarding residency, plus also apply for a Specific Issue Order regarding taking the children away and/or forcing him to take care of them if you have an op. In order to reduce the costs, you could represent yourself, see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I hope this helps.

tired:-( 05/05/2015 at 9:37 pm

hi I need advice long story my ex partner got residency of our son 3 years ago I let him have it , did not fight this as I knew it wouldn't last and was so run down with his claims , after 6 weeks and the ex realising he was getting what he wanted out of it he literally dumped him back to me , I haven't replied for residency as I can't afford it the visitation was a separate order and was very clear , which he no longer complies with and he's constantly makes life awkward , it's tiring too say the least ....I have booked a week to Palma that does not obstruct his visitation in anyway and when I asked he said there would be no issues , I stupidly didn't get it in writing , he's now stating he refuses permission and will not agree too the contact he has agreed too in January if I take them (the court stated we had too agree all contact in January ) he's a bully and I really don't wish nor can I afford court again is that my only option will I get stopped . I don't get it he's moved on married etc tells me to get on I'm happy he's also refused too have them while I'm in hospital for a long op as it's not his time it's constant but unfortunately have little faith in the courts , I'm not perfect avoid him as much as I can so not too get into a conflict but he badgers all the time

SeparatedDads Editor 10/02/2015 at 12:57 pm

@pmitch83 If you do not have PR, you will need the consent and cooperation of the child's mother especially if she is the holder of the passport for your child. If your ex is being unreasonable about the situation, then you could apply for a Specific Issue Order via the courts. I hope this helps.

pmitch83 09/02/2015 at 7:03 pm

Need advise want to take my 9 year old to Spain on holiday have her all tone time but my ex is saying no what can I do

Agie 28/08/2014 at 10:23 pm

I am mother and also day by day care , my ex is send me "responsibility parents agreement" but in the past he was violently and maybe sounds silly but I was tring to make him dad( if you know what i mean.I was trying to involve him in ours daughter but didnt care much) and now his is trying to get responsibility which is ridiculous . f.e. if I am ill i have to do everything with no excuse if his ill he can just say that he turn up because he is ill so why he should get the same responsibilities like i have got ? ther is a lot of similar situations..

Jocky 19/09/2012 at 10:33 am

Many thanks for these, as yet I have no need to use them but may have to resort to doing so in the future. The price of solicitors for doing a task such as this is ridiculous , even more so given the removal of legal aid situation to so many of us, so these will be beneficial to so many fathers, and maybe mothers? too. I thank you all for your constant help to us and will certainly be donating to you in the future, Dave,

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