Ex Is Changing My Daughter's School: Should I Be Consulted?

Originally written by Emma Jones, updated by the editorial team on 2nd April 2026

P.W asks

My wife, from whom I separated 20 months ago, has recently moved from the house she was renting in the same town as me to a town 11 miles away. I have just found out from my child that she is moving my 7-year-old daughter to a school in her new town from September.

Do I have any say in whether my child moves schools? We have informally agreed 50/50 shared custody of our four children and my daughter moving to this school will impact on my ability to have her to stay overnight Mon-Fri, and being able to take her to school. Many thanks for any advice you can give.

When you separate from your partner there is always a tug of war about who can make decisions concerning your children's wellbeing. Finding out through your child that your ex is making an important decision without you is frustrating, and you probably feel like your opinions are not being taken into consideration. Not only has your ex moved your children further away, but now she is trying to change other important parts of their life.

Before taking any action, it's important to understand what legal authority you have in decisions about your daughter's education using our free Rights Checker.

It is unfair of your wife to make this decision without talking to you first, as you should be consulted about your child moving schools. As you were married to the mother of your child you will have legal responsibility for your child. This means that have a responsibility to provide for your child but also that you are entitled to a have a say in their upbringing and have a Right To Be Kept Informed Of Important Developments In Her Life.

Letter Builder

Generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes.

Try our Letter Builder free, here on this site →

Usually the distinction is that the resident parent has responsibility for everyday decisions, while the non-resident parent needs to be consulted about bigger decisions regarding their upbringing. Changing schools can be argued as an everyday decision or a major one, but either way, as you have child arrangements your situation is a bit different as there is no one resident parent.

Although it is good to stay out of the courts, it may be better for you to formalize a child arrangements order so that your rights can be recognized. As this decision will impact on your ability to care for your child it is a major one and you should be able to fight against it if you want to. Tell your wife about your concerns but, if she is unwilling to cooperate, it may be a good idea to consult your lawyer as you have a good legal case.

You do not say what your relationship with your wife is like but try talking to her (read our article on Developing An Amicable Relationship With Your Ex). You should not be hearing about things like this through your child and if you agree to a child arrangements order, she has to realise that you need to be consulted about any decisions that she makes. Setting the ground rules now will help you both be clear about your rights and responsibilities as you move forward.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Letter Builder lets you generate a professional letter to your ex, solicitor or school. Takes 2 minutes. Try it now →

107 questions

Ask Separated Dads a Question

Lexi 09/02/2023 at 7:23 am

If I have a residence order can I move school with out dads permission

Lmh 26/10/2022 at 8:21 am

My two teens live with my ex since court and judge said she did not want the children's education disrupting to a new area and school where I live. Now my ex has bought a house in a different area where my son attends school but he now wants to move my daughter to this school because it makes it easier for him. I am not in agreement as I feel she is well supported where she is and too much change for her at the moment wouldn't be wise. She use to attend this school before but due to friendship issues had to leave it. My worry is this will be the case again. How do I stop him moving her back to what was a volatile situation.

Dave 11/06/2021 at 3:25 pm

I have been divorced for the last 7 years. The ex wife walked out and started another relationship. The children came with me to a new home. Orignally the kids went to their mums twice a week (for the first 18 months) and then 2 or 3 times a week. Since lock down we have split the time 50-50. Their mother now wants to move the kids school to one nearer her house. She is now threatening court to get her way. The kids have both said that they do not want to change anything - school or the current set up. Should i be worried about a court outcome?

Denismc 20/05/2020 at 8:15 pm

Hi
I've a question directly related to the covid 19 situation, my ex is a childminder who is caring for 6 other kids from different houses besides mine, she has also sent them back to school as a key worker. Due to this I've had to restrict them coming to me on overnights until this is over. Is anyone else in the same situation or have any advice.

The relationship is as you can probably tell quite acrimonious as we are in the middle of financial discussions.

Chris 13/02/2020 at 10:51 pm

@key.in my (personal experience )you don’t need permission .i don’t know about the (legal side off things) .I have never been informed or have even known the child’s whereabouts for over 11 years but I have NEVER a got legal advice .because. My situation is very different to most people i was never married and she was with my uncle for years why she lived in my house (free rent I might add two )and why he was plowing her I had to support her and her horses wtf (never again ).her child is her child’s i don’t want a say in anything .if the child wants to meet me she can come find me she is legal age now .

Key 13/02/2020 at 9:02 pm

I’ve move my child school
Without telling my ex father we are not married but he has Prenatal responsibility we have a court order but it doesn’t state I can’t move school
I have inform him now of the new school and details but now saying I should by law told him before I move
Is this true did I need his permission?

Chris 26/01/2020 at 6:50 pm

@worried.in reality the mother can move and change schools change child name as much as she wants and there is (nothing) you can do about it.i no from (experience ).and the mother (doesn’t have to respond to you this is bye law) if she wants to cut you off she can and have you (charged for harassment for sending sms or trying to call ).and it’s doesn’t matter if you had a (close relationship with your daughter) in reality that is gone now (deal with it ).and I wouldn’t be going to the school like that .get a (solicitor )or just drop it and move on .

Cec 26/01/2020 at 5:37 pm

@worried.so I (protect myself) now and have changed all my numbers .and have no communication at all with them .And don’t know there whereabouts which is (safe and smart) .its been that long now I wouldn’t even no what the (child looked like gods truth ).

Worried 26/01/2020 at 7:46 am

Hi
I am the father of a 10 year old daughter. I went to court when She was one and gained court orders which progressed to 2 nights a week when She was two.

Since then we have had a few mediation agreements drawn up and it has slowly progressed to where it is now 50/50. Whilst we have had disagreements everything was running smoothly and the plan was followed consistently.

Two weeks ago when She was with Her Mother I was told by Her Mother She no longer wants to continue 50/50 and that my Daughter was too frightened to speak to me on the phone. It is a shock as the night before I had spoke to my daughter on the phone and She had agreed we would go to the Zoo together next visit.
I have tried repeatedly to contact my daughter through her Mother to speak to Her. Her Mother rarely responds to SMSs or email. Nothing by Phone. Only once every few days saying She is not wanting to talk with me or see me. This is a repeat of the Mothers behavior before I got the Court Orders a long time ago. Only then it was to find out How She was or if I could see Her.
I have had a mediator ring Her and She has refused Mediation so a certificate has been issued.
I have approached the school and informed them I may visit my Daughter there when it starts again. They agreed that should not be a problem as they think I am a good parent.
My worries are apart from the damage being done to my Daughter, that the Mother may change schools without my permission.
It is a most distressing period for Me as I had a close relationship with my Daughter and I feel the same as if She has died and their has been no Funeral.

Melody 12/01/2020 at 6:33 pm

Wife went away on holiday at Christmas time and said she is not returning back to marital home and moving two hour away. She said she has applied for school she has not discussed this me. I am very down as I have two children that are my world 5year has not been to school for a week whole week little one is 6month. We have been having marriage peoples on and off. She don't give me any control every time I do not do what she wants its always on her terms. She always blackmail she going to move back home with her parents that are 2 hours away.

Ro 30/10/2019 at 10:59 am

My child was adopted in the 80s.I would love to see him again before I die.his two older brothers would love to see him too.

Dan 04/10/2019 at 6:05 pm

My ex took my son to live in America with her then husband. She has since moved back to the UK and divorced her husband. My son started school this year and she has enrolled him in school with her ex husband's surname. My son never had his name changed and has always gone by the name on his birth certificate, my surname. Do I have rights to change this?

brickie 24/07/2019 at 9:22 pm

@holmes.she will come find you when she is[ ready ].stop stressing bro .i am in the same situation you will find [peace brother] like i did took me[ years] .now if i do see my daughter again great if not thats ok two .i just don't [care anymore] you will get to this stage trust me .

holmes 24/07/2019 at 2:39 pm

hi i am trying to find my daughter i have not seen her since she was 2 years old she is now 19 and i have been trying to find her since her mum ran off with someone in the army . coming from a forces background i know they cant give out information on who lives on site i have tried facebook and all them kind of sites but i wouldnt even know what she looks like now am sure its not that little princess i knew .
dose anyone have any ideas what i can do i was hoping she might come looking as well as i am on her birth certificate please help

Weimaraner2019 24/06/2019 at 10:14 am

My daughter split up with her boyfriend 3 years ago and their son lives with her. She has since met a new boyfriend and has had another child with him.

My daughter wishes to move to where her boyfriend is from 45 minutes up the road from where she is now due a a good job offer. A change of school will be required for her child with her ex. He originally agreed to the move and visiting was all sorted out. My daughter went ahead and has now got a new house lined up.

But at the weekend she received a solicitors letter from her ex boyfriend's solicitor stating that he opposes the move and has accused my daughter of mental abuse of their child by stating that she told their son if he doesn't move he wont get to see his step brother with whom he has lived with for over a year and they have a really good bond. My daughter has never ever said this at all and never would.

A court case has now been arranged in July as due to him accusing her of mental abuse there can be no mediation so goes straight to a court case. My daughter would have liked to have gone to mediation to try and sort this out first. Can anyone offer advice on what options are available to her?

Mother2019 22/06/2019 at 10:48 pm

Hi. I split up with my daughter's dad about 3/4 years ago. We were never married. But he is on the birth certificate. He's always had a problem with the fact that our daughter (who is 6) is living with me. He sees her from Friday until saturday night most weekends and then Friday until Sunday afternoon. He has her for the day or overnight when it is school holidays. A few weeks before Christmas, our daughter had chicken pox and he came to my flat to see her.. as it was a few weeks before Christmas, I was sorting stuff out to go to the charity shop, to make room for new presents that would come for Christmas. Well apparently he took photos of the place, which I don't remember, emailed them to Social Services (I asked him for proof of this email, he couldn't find it) and he phoned me and said that social services have advised them to take our daughter for a week to live with them so I could tidy the place up. Wouldn't social services get in touch with me?

Tray 23/05/2019 at 8:14 am

My son has split from his ex due to her ill health he has brought them up single handed for the last 4&half years, she had them at weekends. In January she took them and didn't return them he is fighting for Residency - his ex is saying she is changing their schools can she do this while Residency is still being argued in court and shouldn't my son have a say in this??

Lynny 30/04/2019 at 2:55 pm

My daughter is separated from her son's partner. he is about to start primary 1 and due to child care issues she is looking to put my grandson to the school in my area. Can his father stop this

Chris 06/01/2019 at 9:08 pm

@caz.at 14 there is not much you can do they have there own mind you could apply to court put at 14 is it worth it ?. I am in the same boat but( I feel ok about it )now with the (circumstances )with the mother off my child( I stay well clear off that gross thing)and never been happier .

Chris 06/01/2019 at 8:11 pm

@caz.at 14 self harming is pretty common I myself been though all that stuff with my younger brothers they grow out off it it’s usually just a praise they go though .hormones the shift between been a child to adult.just keep i on them and talk to them they will grow out off it hopefully .and in today society coming from a broken family is common so that wouldn’t be the cause look closer to home you might find the answer .

Caz 06/01/2019 at 6:07 pm

A week ago my 14uear old daughter left to go live with her dad after an argument, she has never had any contact with him apart from phone in last 3years,we had moved to a new area and she is suppose to be starting school tommorow but has refused to come back, I have found out from my eldest daughter she has been self harming which her dad never told me, I have had no communication from her dad about anything since she got there, he is controlling her phone, I also found out he has also applied for the for her to go to a school there after 3days,im so worried about her because he is verbally controlling and obviously being 14there is nothing I can do. I just want her home.

Martin 03/12/2018 at 8:59 am

I have a court order in place which lets me see my daughter 6 days a month but my ex has the child living with her .It slowly gone to hakf half contact but this isn't threw the court it was r section now shed is changed her school without even telling me and she us saying if i made a big deal of it that she will go back to the original court that's 5 days a month and but I've been seeing her for 15vdays a month for last 2 years can she move the goal posts wen ever she want or would it be possible to go back court with the evidence of me having as much as her but she's trying to change it so she gets what she wants any advise please as I'm lost

Sax12 11/10/2018 at 10:39 pm

Hi. I have a question please. I am divorced from my ex wife and my youngest daughter is 14 years old. I have contact with her 5 nights in a two week period. I live around 50 miles away from her school which is near where her mum lives. My daughter has had issues at school with being bullied for the last 12 months and has spoken to her mum about changing schools but she won't let her. My daughter has asked if she can live with me and go to a school near me instead to get away from the problems. I have said I am happy to help as don't want her to be distressed but I know my ex wife will be totally against it. We are both going to raise it with her and try to convince her. However how do I stand if she disagrees? As my daughter is 14 I assume her wishes would be considered but don't know what I can do to help her. What can I do?

Ntp76 09/10/2018 at 6:19 am

I am divorced and have shared parental responsibility with a 50:50 court order in place.

My oldest needs to select a secondary school. There is a perfectly (in fact very good) suitable school nearby and his primary school is a feeder to it. I want my son to go there. All his friends are also going there.

My ex however has been investigating private schools. I’ve told her I can not afford this (under our 50:50 arrangement no maintence is paid) and that the local state school is more than suitable.

The deadline for applications is end of October and we have our first discussion at the end of this week. Knowing my ex she will just disagree with me whatever I propose. What I don’t understand is under a shared responsibility set up can I veto the choice. We’ve already spent tens of thousands on court and this just seems totally unnecessary. Let alone the complexities of getting one kid to private school 8 miles away whilst the other one to primary school for the same time.

Any suggestions?

Shell 04/10/2018 at 10:37 am

Do I need my ex partners permission to change our sons school?

Worried 26/08/2018 at 12:41 pm

Hi there.

I had a child from a one night stand several years ago. His mother and I have always been on good terms, and I am on the birth certificate as his father. We've always been friendly and came and went with one another with regards to childcare etc.

A few years ago she moved to another town with her then new boyfriend, with whom she has another child. My son was put into school in this town and is happy and settled there. my wife and I have recently bought a house in this town to be closer to my son and be more involved in his schooling etc.

HIs mother has now split with her former partner and is planning to move back to her home town with my son, taking him out out of school and into a new one. Do I have any legal recourse to stop this from happening?

SeparatedDads Editor 21/05/2018 at 2:44 pm

There is no legal obligation for children to attend nurseries or school until they reach the age of five, so you can disagree with your ex's proposal. If you have an order from the court, then any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, 'they' will need to refer the matter back to the courts.

lisat84 19/05/2018 at 11:20 am

Hi,
Me and my ex partner have just been through a lengthy custody battle which finished in Feb. We have shared custody of our 2yr old son whom currently gos to Nursery 2 days a week where hes happy and settled. My ex is now telling me when my sons 3 hes changing his nursery and he has to go 3 days a week so id lose one of my days if i agreed. I told him i dont want this and theres no need to change and now he's telling me he'll take me back to court as the government states a 3yr old has to go 3 days a week which im sure isn't true. Any advise?

SeparatedDads Editor 04/05/2018 at 9:42 am

The problem is, if your ex has moved their schools, by the time it gets to court (if your ex refuses to negotiate through mediation), then your ex will have the reasoning that your kids are settled. There is also the issue of school places. School places are filled up early, so finding an alternative may also be difficult. Yes, in theory your ex should have consulted you on the school move (if you have parental responsibility). However, now the move has taken place, it would be difficult address through court as there is no guarantee the court would rule in your favour.

gr8dad 03/05/2018 at 2:13 pm

My ex has moved my children's school, and after reading ofsted and looking at everything, including how my children are doing in the school, I am not happy. This was done without my consent and wasn't told until the transfer paperwork had already been put in. They have moved to a school that has a worse ofsted and they are not progressing in their learning, even going backwards on some subjects, compared to the previous school. But she has moved them as her mother works at the new school and she wants her youngest son (with a new partner) to go to the new school. She feels like if our children are in the school her son has a better chance of getting him in even though my son would have left the school by the time her youngest goes there. Is there anything I can do about this as my children's education is my priority and she has actually put this in jeopardy.

Coops 01/05/2018 at 6:59 pm

Can my wife simply take my kids out of school, go and visit a new school and enrole them, and then tell me after the event that the kids are moving school. This is out of county and double the distance away from me from Worcestershire to Leicestershire. She has told me that she was just looking, but then accidentally dropped out that she has put in an offer on a house local to the school as well so it’s more than just a quick visit out of interest. This is a calculated and deliberate move which I have been completely blindsided & unaware of.

Kaz 15/04/2018 at 8:27 pm

I need advice as a grandmother. My son was in a relationship with a lady who had 3 kids with three different dads and had a daughter with this lady. The lady as sweet until my granddaughter was two and she changed her tune. The relationship broke down and the lady moved address without letting us know. My son looked after the child since birth till 2 years old. We have not been able to see the child for 2.5 years. This has broken my son and our family. We would like to gain access to the child but do not know where to start. Please advice. We have no address although we know where the eldest child of the lady goes to school.

SeparatedDads Editor 10/04/2018 at 10:54 am

You may wish to report this to the police. If you have a residency order of your children and there is a court order in place that only allows your ex specific access, then the police may be able to intervene and return your son to you.

Kaij 09/04/2018 at 3:41 pm

Hi my 2 children's dad hasn't seen them in over 3 years he's just recently picked my son up to stay for the Easter holidays my daughter refused to go I have a court order were the children live with me and ment to go weekend and holidays to there dads but he never has them he is now refusing to bring my son back and sayin he is changing his school wat can I do about it

Pluto 21/02/2018 at 11:09 pm

I am a mum of two children whome both have seperate dads, they stay with their dads Tuesday til Friday every week. We’ve just moved towns but the dads are refusing to compromise on moving the school so it takes us an hour to get to and from school. I also worry they won’t be able to join in with normal things growing up such as playing with school friends at home. Am I allowed to move them to a school round the corner or am I stuck by whatever dads decide?

SeparatedDads Editor 26/01/2018 at 11:39 am

Much depends upon whether you think your ex is being awkward, or has a valid reason for the move. If you think she is making the move deliberately to prevent the shared-care from taking place, then you may have a case to take the matter back to court. A solicitor's letter reminding your ex of the terms of the order may also work. However, if the move is for a valid reason i.e she is moving house and therefore wishes to put the boys in a school nearby, then she may have a valid argument. Also, if your ex is deliberately making the move to thwart shared access, you may be able to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order, which prevents a parent removing their child from a school or area. You may wish to seek some legal advice regarding this.

Karl 25/01/2018 at 7:06 am

We have just recently been to court and we have got 50/50 shard care of our boys. She works in the same school to where my children go. It’s 5 mins away from me and my parents help me out taking them to school and picking them up as I work full time. My ex has told me she is now leaving the school and moving the boys away to another school. This is going to have a massive impact as now I will not be able to get the to school and back as the school will be 10miles away. This will effect my time with them as they do t be able to stop with me In The week after we have just been to court. What can I do ?

Brit78 08/01/2018 at 8:05 pm

Hi, just asking for some advice please.
My Partners ex has decided to take their Son out of School to home School him without discussing it with my Partner and the first we heard about it was a phone call from the School to ask if my Partner knew!
My Partner has Parental Responsibility due to his Son being born after 2003.
His Son also stays with us for 10 days a Month too.
Is the Mother allowed to just take him out of School to home School him if my Partner totally objects to it?

SeparatedDads Editor 05/01/2018 at 2:40 pm

If you have joint parental responsibility, your only option would be to apply to court asap. If you have PR, then your ex should have consulted you to remove your child from the area. If you refused, then she would have had to apply to court. Your ex has obviously taken the decision in her own hands. Therefore, you may wish to seek legal advice regarding whether it is worth taking the matter to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Adi1984 02/01/2018 at 1:09 am

My now ex partner of 5 years just packed up and moved our son to the other end of the country overnight without even saying a word or including me in the decision, my son is 4 and has autism and she is talking about changing schools do i get a say even though we were never married. I am on my sons birth certificate and have parental responsibility.

SeparatedDads Editor 28/11/2017 at 3:23 pm

Court is the only option when mediation breaks down and two parents cannot agree on a matter.

Stokesy 26/11/2017 at 9:53 am

I am a mother with joint PR. I would like to move the children to another school which is equal distance for both of us, as I work 50ks away from home. My ex husband wouldnt agree so I instigated mediation. He refused to consider changing their schools therefore mediation has been unsuccessful. I dont want this to become a court battle. How can i get him to compramise? And what are my rights as a mother that pays him child support and he contributes nothing?

SeparatedDads Editor 28/09/2017 at 2:45 pm

No, if you have parental responsibility of your children she should have requested your consent. If the move has been recent, you may wish to seek legal advice in order to explore your options. However, it's a bit tricky if the move has already been made and your kids are settled in schools etc. Sometimes, the courts can prevent the move if it feels it is in the children's best interests to stay where they are. However, it is more difficult to get them back once the move has taken place. At the same time, a court will generally not prevent one parent from moving away unless the move cannot be justified. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Welsh 26/09/2017 at 2:17 pm

My ex wife and I have joint parental responsibility for our children. Not long after our split she met another man and has since moved my children 80 miles away and to a new school without consulting me. She has since remarried. I was seeing my children 4 times a week as they only lived 5 mins away. Now I only see them once a week if I'm lucky as I can't drive (medical reasons). Was she allowed to do this (move that far away with the children) without my consent ?

SeparatedDads Editor 25/08/2017 at 12:00 pm

If you have shared-care and have a family-based child maintenance arrangement, then the amount is agreed between you both. If, for instance you decided to stop paying and your ex decided to apply to CMS, then if your ex is classed as the primary carer, i.e she receives child benefit etc, you would be assessed on the amount that you (the non-resident parent) have the children staying overnight. In such cases, CMS makes a deduction to the weekly child maintenance amount based on the average number of ‘shared care’ nights a week. Many parents who have shared-care (where both parents work and have similar salaries) agree to split the finances down the middle and one parent does not claim child maintenance. However, where one parent may work and the other is the stay-at-home parent or works part-time and deals with most of the day-to-day issues and welfare of the kids, the situation can revert back to the paying parent and the receiving parent. If you have a working family-based arrangement, your best option is to discuss mutually with your ex what you both think is fair.

ScottyE 24/08/2017 at 11:42 am

My wife and I have been separated for nearly 3 years and have joint custody over our children. I agreed to pay a monthly amount to her for the care of the children at the point of separation and we agreed to split the cost of hobbies, etc 50:50 at the time. We have done this independently of the CSA, but I used their calculator at the time. I have often paid more than she has for these hobbies, but given we are three years on, I am not sure what the situation is concerning the payments. The children spend exactly half the time with me and I want to know why I still have to pay maintenance to her. What options do I have?

ScottyE 24/08/2017 at 11:35 am

My ex-wife and I are separated, but have 50:50 custody of our children. I would like them to attend private school, which I have agreed I will fully pay for, but she is refusing to allow them to go and refusing to even have a conversation about what is the best outcome for them. What options are available to me?

Jay 04/08/2017 at 12:28 pm

My ex wife has transferred my kids to a new school with out consulting me. In our dissolution and in the transcripts it states we both have to make that decision together and also that my address will be used for the kids school. What is my recourse

SeparatedDads Editor 16/02/2017 at 12:06 pm

In theory, if you have parental responsibility your ex should have consulted you regarding your child's school. However, in practice this does not always happen and if you disagree with your ex's choice you would either have to suggest mediation, and if you cannot resolve the issue through mediation, if you feel very strongly, take the matter to court.

Concerned 15/02/2017 at 6:50 pm

Hi, me and my wife have been separated for 3 years. I've been in ESA ever since so have not paid any child support as I don't have to. I have her 2 nights every fortnight, plus come extra time during the holidays. She now wants to change our child's school but didn't inform me until it was already arranged. Does my situation count as shared parenting? And should she have consulted me before making this decision?

Amy 11/12/2016 at 3:27 pm

My ex husband decided to move my daughter school without talking to me, my daughter going to school originally from Kenosha Wisconsin, and he decided to move her in Arlington Heights school in illinois. He never talked to me about it until couple days ago. We have joint custody. What can I do. What action should I do.

SeparatedDads Editor 08/11/2016 at 2:01 pm

If your child was already attending private school before the split, then you could be deemed to be obligated to continue payments, if the courts ordered it and you could afford to. However, it is less likely to be ordered by the court if the decision has been made by your ex to send your daughter to private school, if you object and object to paying. In other words, your ex canot demand you pay anything above and beyond your child maintenance payments, if you don't agree.

SAK 08/11/2016 at 8:07 am

Hi all, i have continually paid maintenance for my daughter when i split from my ex wife 5 years ago, she is now looking to enroll her in a private school - will i be expected to help to pay for this even though i already pay full maintenace to her

lanky 25/10/2016 at 10:44 pm

I have a 15yr old son to which I have found out he doesn't attend the same school anymore. I had an appointment with the school 2wks ago for truancy. There is no court order as far as custody. He resides with his mother. Can she do this without me knowing? Should the school have gotten ahold of me about this? I did not receive a call back from the school. I will stop an get all copies of paper work an fax to my attorney. We are in the middle of divorce now. Any help I'd greatly appreciate. I reside in Pennsylvania.

AllenM 19/10/2016 at 11:46 pm

I have a 14 yr old daughter with my ex. We separated when she was 1yrs old and I have had my daughter all weds since. During the week she lives with her mum and schools near her home.

Recently the school has fallen into special measures and this has now gone on for 2 yes. My daughter has asked to leave the school and also feels she doesn't feel close to any of her schools friends. It has reached the point that she cries a lot about school and is distressed.

I have spoken to another school and they are happy to take her. Ahead of talking to her mum about it I'm concerned she will say no on the grounds she just wants her near in the week. Where do I stand and if my daughter insists she wants to leave, can she?

Mikey 21/09/2016 at 3:29 pm

My ex and I have a 7 year old son in the first grade. She has notified me she will be moving next August and wants to switch out sons school. He has been there 2 years and loves it. He doesn't want to switch schools. She is the custodial parent and she has told me I have no say. What do you think my chances are to block it when I file a motion. We have joint custody.

SeparatedDads Editor 19/08/2016 at 2:01 pm

If you fear your ex may leave the country without your official consent (which by law he needs), then I suggest you seek legal advice asap and apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. It is highly unlikely a court would rule to upset the children's stability if you do not agree, thus allowing them to remain in the UK. A solicitor's letter outlining the seriousness of 'abduction' should he try to remove the children without your consent may help stop him in his tracks.

PattyJune81 19/08/2016 at 12:57 am

Hi me and my Ex were never married but were together almost a decade and have 3 children together. We have no court orders or anything else on our children. He decided to move to another county and took it upon himself to enroll our children in school there. I tried talking to him but he acts like he has sole custody of the kids he does what he wants without ever consulting me first. How can I legally keep my children in this school district?

SeparatedDads Editor 25/07/2016 at 11:10 am

Your option is to negotiate between you. However, if negotiations fail, you have two options mediation or court. If the matter went to court, the court will always rule for what is in the best interests of your children and that is the least disruption to your children's lives possible. Therefore, if you prefer your children to remain at the school in which they are already established, then you stand a better chance of being given the option. However, we would hope it would not get that far and that you can hopefully negotiate between you, or negotiate through mediation if you can't agree. If the situation is not equal and you have equal care of your children, then you should stick to your guns and re-inforce the children should stay where they already are.

Worry mommy 24/07/2016 at 6:36 am

Hi My ex and I finalized our divorce in May 2016. We have joint custody of all our kids. In the divorce decree it states that he resides with his mother which is where the school district of where my children attend . I want to keep them there mainly because we will both still have our time with the kids equally and I can be involved in their school. He is now living with his Gf in another town that that is 30 to 40 mins away. He wants to change schools so the kids are closer to him, but I would get less time with my children. I will not be able to keep them overnight and take to them to school in my days off. What are my options?

Sanie42 09/07/2016 at 11:48 am

Hi my neice is going to live with her dad November until then she's living with her mom (my sister) out of the blue my sister has received a letter stating that her daughter has place at school in September by her dads...which my sister hasn't agreed to it..my question is if my sisters ex husband has applied for place at school by him does my sister have to be told and do both parents have to sign application form ..thank you for any advice my sis is at her wits end with worry due to no one telling her that her daughter will be starting school somewhere else my neice is due to start school near where she lives with my sister

tahiti 30/06/2016 at 4:49 pm

My son is 15 yrs. old, and wants to attend high school with his younger brother, here in Las Vegas. His father refuses (he makes all decisions without consulting me). My son lives in San Diego- North County, with his fathers parents and watches his grandpa at night (grandma and aunty works night shifts). Father sees him on weekends. It is not grandparents responsibility, nor, it's not my 15 yrs old sons responsibility to be a sitter for his grandpa. He has a mother (ME). Also, my son have three siblings that needs their oldest brother. My son wants to live with me but his father thinks otherwise. I am a darn good parent. I'm not saying that his father is bad, which he's not. My son always tells his dad that he wants to live with mom...but he says no and makes him cry with what he says. I'm tired of him putting me down to our son. I want what's best for my baby/ies. Am I being greedy?

Golf1 28/06/2016 at 9:55 am

We have a shared care arrangement through a court order where I have my daugter and the mother has him alternating weeks (Week on week off). We have equal parental rights.

She currently attends nursery where I live (and she used to live) and has another year there of pre school starting in September. The court order does specifically state that she must still go to nursery. Whilst it doesnt specifically state this, the magistrates did say she must still go there to maintain the relationships with her peers (friends) and teachers.

My ex has recently contacted me after moving a few miles away to a different town that she has applied for a place at pre school at a school she wants her to go to and that her place has been accepted and because she doesnt want to travel anymore to her current nursery and that she will be starting there in September.

I think that it is in his best interests, as per the court order for him to remain where he is. Additionally, the school she has chosen is not one I would like him to ultimately go to.

Last time in court she refused to go to mediation and will not compromise.

Can I stop this from happening? What is the best route forward?

jimbob 26/06/2016 at 4:48 pm

Hi I have a court order to see my daughter on Saturday and Sunday i see her on Saturday but my ex will not let me see my daughter on Sunday just wondering if she is breaking the court order

SeparatedDads Editor 26/02/2016 at 9:57 am

If your husband has Parental Responsibility then by law you will need to request his consent for both of these. If he refuses, then you can apply for a Specific Issue Order through the courts and the courts will decide upon whether you stay or go dependent upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your child. It also very much depends on whether your ex has a contact order in place through the courts, which if you move, you will be in breach of. Of course, you can make the move without his consent, but you would have to be aware of the repercussions that could ensue if he decided to take the matter to court. Please see the Specific Issue Order which

nin 25/02/2016 at 6:40 am

Hi.im about yo separate from husband who was verbally abusive and his behaviour is affecting my child
I want to move about 300miles away to my family.can i do so with kids and without my husbands permission and without him taking legal action against me? Do i need to do anything first?im scared that if he finds out he might harm me.can i slso change school without his permission.thank you

SeparatedDads Editor 22/02/2016 at 9:56 am

There is no one in particular who should make the official decision if both parents have PR. However, it is usually the primary carer who has the last word. As both your daughter and her father have one mind and you another, perhaps a Mediation session may be the way forward. Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me?

Dave 21/02/2016 at 12:40 am

My daughter in year 10 is having a hard time at her catholic high school and wants to move to a public school, it is the start of the year and I want her to finish year 10 and move in year 11 but she refuses and my ex agrees she should go now, her makes the official decision

SeparatedDads Editor 11/02/2016 at 10:25 am

You can apply to the courts for a prohibited steps order. Here's more information

Timmy 10/02/2016 at 3:36 pm

My ex is moving my son's school again he is 8 and settled
If she does this will be his 4th school in about 5 years is there anything I can do to stop his education being disrupted

Star2512 16/12/2015 at 10:40 pm

Hi my ex who split with me in January is now pregnant with someone else's child and informed today, she also told me she would be moving after Christmas 35miles away and changing my sons school as well as her daughters(my step daughter for 10 years) my son is 8 and I am on the birth certificate, when we moved to where we are now it was so the kids could have a better upbringing in a nicer area and now she wants to go back because she is pregnant and clearly wants to live with the new boyfriend where do I stand as I have concerns my son will not like it there

SeparatedDads Editor 20/10/2015 at 11:36 am

It depends on whether his ex has changed the children's surnames officially, or not. If she has changed them officially by Deed Poll, then your partner would have had to have been consulted. Please see link: Changing Your Child's Surname, here. However, if the surnames have been changed unofficially, i.e a 'known as' name for purposes of school etc, but not for the purposes of passport, then his can do this and the school can accept the mother's request. However, should your partner wish to challenge this, then he could either write to the school and/or his ex to object. If the school refused to make the changes back, he would have to take it to court. However, there is no guarantee if it was taken to court that your partner would win, as it would be up to his ex to give justifiable reasons why she wanted the name changes and your partner to give justifiable reason why he doesn't. Please see more information from the Deed Poll site, here. I hope this helps.

shaz 19/10/2015 at 5:16 pm

Can you tell me if the schools have to adhere to a government dept. of education outlining the schools responsibility to gain consent from both parents with parental responsibility regarding a child's surname being changed or preferred name as the school refer to. My partners ex has changed his children's surname without any consultation and the school have said they do not need his permission is there a link to a gov site stating otherwise?

Zim loo 11/09/2015 at 10:20 pm

We are currently in the process of a court order (prohibited steps). I home school our eldest (13) and was due to home school our son (almost 12), when he started secondary. He has applied to have the eldest put into school and stop me from HE our son. They both want to be home educated and we follow a structured curriculum. Will the children's views be taken seriously or the decision be based purely on the HE ignorant opinion of the CAFCASS officer?

SeparatedDads Editor 10/09/2015 at 10:29 am

Being a UK-based site, we are only familiar with UK-based law, so I'm afraid as you live in the US, I could not advise due to differences in family law.

Willy 09/09/2015 at 1:21 am

I have sole custody of my 16 year old daughter in sc she wants to live with her mom what do I do

Sissy 16/08/2015 at 3:52 am

My fiance and I have been in a custody battle for over 6 years, he has been granted 50/50 custody a year or so ago. Everything has been working out semi good up until his child support got dropped. Now she has moved out of state and switched the child's school with any type of consultation or notice. May I previously add there has been several times his daughter has been a witness to domestic violence and abuse we have proof of protective orders she filed against the abuser and some of the stuff his daughter remembers and talks about it openly. Anyways we feel like we're fighting an uphill battle, and now his daughter is starting to wet herself and have bad emotional break downs because she doesn't want to switch schools. Me have brought it to her attention about the long term and mental affects it is doing to their child but she says "she will get over it" please any help or advice is greatly needed and appriciated! What can we do and is there a chance we could get sole or full custody and keep her in the same school district?

Concerned Father 12/08/2015 at 6:37 pm

Me and the children mum separated 8-9 year ago, I have full parental responcibilities, but the childrens mother changed there surname to her informally just to get at me, as it is my surname on the birth certificate. My solicitor said she can do this , but i think it is unfair i can't stop this. Now my children , who i see on a regular basis and pay maintenance, are now changing school within the same area and again using her surname, but my daughter does not want her mum's surname. My daughter is in her last year at primary, is there anything I can do, There is not point in talking to her mother as she is very selfish and see this as a personal attack at her, rather than seeing what my daughter wants....help..

SeparatedDads Editor 11/08/2015 at 1:03 pm

If your ex is denying you access, you should follow the procedure laid out in the article: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichAs you have parental responsibility, you should have been consulted and asked permission about the school your daughter should attend. I'm afraid I cannot predict what the courts will decide regarding what school your daughter will go to if you are granted custody.

AHurtMommy 09/08/2015 at 9:38 am

Me and my ex have been sharing time with my daughter, now that school is about to start he wont let me see nor talk to her and enrolled her in a different school behind my back, she is doing very well in the school she was in earlier this year.. will they make it to where she has to go back to the school in my district if I get full custody, the only reason she wants to go to this new school is because his girlfriends daughter goes there, it has nothing to do with her at all and her education

SeparatedDads Editor 07/08/2015 at 2:44 pm

If you are based in the UK, then any parent with parental responsibility should be able to ask for a transfer of information. However, the school may want to request permission from the resident-parent.

Gilla 07/08/2015 at 1:41 pm

I am a step mom of a 16 yr old boy. His mom recently kicked him out and we've taken him in. He wants to start the school year with us and that means starting a new school. Am I able to request a transfer of transcripts to his new school or does his mom who has sole custody have to be the one. She wants him home now, but he wants to live with us now...

help 23/07/2015 at 12:58 pm

I have shared custody of my kids they are now teenagers. They want to live with me but I live in another state. Can I legally enroll my kids in school even though my ex does not agree? Although this is a better area and school district and there is more structure in my home. Or will I have to go to her state and file to have my kids in a better school here in the state where I live?

frustrated dad 15/07/2015 at 11:46 pm

My ex and I have joint legal custody but she has primary physical custody. She recently moved out of state w/o discussing with me and has taken me to court for ridiculous allegations that were immediately dismissed. I'm broke now from all the lawyer fees as she files b.s. contempt charges and I get representation. The courts are doing nothing to help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sneed 25/06/2015 at 2:15 pm

My ex husband and I have joint custody but I have sole physical custody and the final decision making with our kids. Recently, my ex changed our son's address on file at the school to his address. So any report cards or issues would be sent to him. I was left totally out of the loop. Our son doesn't live with him, he lives with me. Also, my ex took our son to get his driver's license and listed his address for our son's address. Once again, our son lives with me. What can I do about this?

mumof3 15/06/2015 at 10:32 pm

Hi all, I have a 7 year old daughter with my ex partner, I want to move from the town i'm in to a town where I get more support/help from family but my ex said no even though he don't see our daughter as much as he should and he doesn't pay child maintenance, what should i do??

beth 10/06/2015 at 5:21 pm

I have a 5 year old son with my ex. His dad is currently seeing him most days and they have a great relationship. Now my partner has got a job with a considerable pay rise an hour away from my son's father. I have spoken to his dad and he has said he is not ok with us moving away that far. I'm not sure about my next step. Either I move and my son gets to see his dad at weekends and during the week in the holidays. Or I don't and he gets to see his dad more often. I loose my partner and money will be difficult as a single parent. Is court an option? I want to sort things out amicably.

Paul Editor 10/02/2015 at 12:39 pm

@Chris - As annoying as it is, I think the fact that your child is now 17 and can make her own decisions would makes taking it to court a bit difficult.

Chris 09/02/2015 at 6:56 pm

I've had custody of my two children for about ten years, my oldest(17 year old girl) didn't like the rules in the house so she thought it best to live with her mother(where there are no rules). Throughout the years my daughter has changed Schools three times, the last being when she moved with her mother in January of 2013, now my ex is moving and my daughter has to change schools again, not to mention it's not a desirable school district. I don't think its healthy to uproot her from school, friends, boyfriend when she has one year of school left. Is there anything I can do to keep this from happening?

SeparatedDads Editor 29/01/2015 at 12:07 pm

@Ayisha - I think the best and most natural thing is to speak to your ex. He is going to have to know sometime in order to give consent to the school, there is no way around this without breaking the law. Plus, if you try to move out of the area without telling him, he could take it to court as you may be in breach of your court order.

Ayisha 28/01/2015 at 5:18 am

My ex husband and I have shared custody of 1 week here one week there (as per court order ) of our 7 year old. I am moving far away from my ex and i need to change schools for my child. I haven't informed my ex yet about our move as we haven't gotten a house yet.The head teacher needs to speak to both of us in regards to a school application form I sent to the headteacher to sign. What do I do

Anna 27/11/2014 at 7:41 pm

My 2 daughters aged 4 and 5 live with me and see their father every two weeks for the weekend he is now refusing to bring them home can he change their school with pith my premition as he says they are starting a school on Tuesday.

CJ Editor 26/11/2014 at 10:09 am

@Wayne211 - you need to consult your solicitor. If you have PR then you have the rights to be consulted and the decision be partly yours. You should speak to the school also and tell them you disagree with the move, see what they advise. The courts might agree that you have more responsibility, if you live closer to the school.

Wayne 211 07/11/2014 at 1:15 pm

My ex partner and I have a shared residence order.
My ex wants to change my sons school as she has taken a council flat 8 miles from the school.
I want to prevent her from doing this there has been a history of my son being moved around and I feel that a further change , will be to the detriment of his education and also his well being.
I live a short walk from the school and am able to have him during the week to enable him to continue to attened his current school.She has recently been driving him to school with no insurance and tax and has subsequently had her car clamped , and is using her on /off boyfriends car as a means of getting him to school when she has him.
What order do I need from the court to stop her taking him out of his current school , and are the courts likely to grant my request ?

ever10 25/09/2014 at 8:58 am

ive been seprated from my ex partner for over 5 year and only just got divorce we both agree with each other that the kids stay with her and i have them monday and wedesenday for tea and 24 hour over the weekend and agreed maintenance which i paid throught the bank. As the chlidern got older i try asking if there was any chance i could have them over night monday and wed and drop off at school and stil have them 24 hour over the weekend i was told no it would be to disrupted for them on a school night. i now found out that she have left them with other family member or friend on school night or have been drag them out of bed a six in the morining to drop of at friend or family houses to taken to school so she can go to work. i tried to take to medation but she never turn up and was told by her no court or person will tell her what she can or cant do with kids.

Since all this as happen ive taken a back seat in fighting with her to see it would be better for the kids because it her way or nothing.We now both got new partner and living new lives i still get to see the kids on the agreement we made and ive even took the aboard on holiday and have taken away on many weekend and she has now just drop a bomb on me and told me that her and her new boyfriend who only been with for 12 months has been posted to ireland for the next 7 years due him beening the army and she taking the kids with her to live and is moving in 4 week time . My ex and her new partner have planed all this behide my back i have not been consulted or given any information about where they are going to live in ireland or what school they have look at what support they kids have got over there due to both of them not having no family over nor have thought about how am going to get to see them and how and who is going to paid for me travelling to and from liverpool to ireland and where am going to stay when am over there . I do not agree with moving kids away from all there family and friend and school to a place where there no support for them what affect it will have on thier education and how my ex wife is going to support the kids financial when she got no job over there. The kids have never been over to see where they are going to live or have been told the bigger picture on what affect it will have on not seeing all there family whats in place for them if they dont like it. Is there any way i can stop them from going because i dont think its the best intrest for the kids moving them so far from their father and family and school and i think it will only benafit her so she can be with her boyfriend ( i am on the birth certiticate and i have parental responibilty )

tree 14/09/2014 at 2:21 am

My ex and i have joint custody of our daughter. Our divorce decree states we have to live within 20 mins of there school. This summer he moved and hour and half away and just put her into a new school. This makes it hard for me to see her as usual because he expects me to pick her up and honestly i can't afford to drive that far. He is trying to say when i can get her and that they are busy on my days. I live in the school district she attended from K thru 8th grade. What can i do he didn't ask the courts or me for perrimission. He wont give his address. Im very concerned that he is taking her out of her brothers and my life. What can i do? Pleae help

Dad1 Editor 15/09/2014 at 10:43 am

@arcl, are you in the US? I think the rules might be slightly different over there but here in the UK if you're the parent with care (in your case temporary custody) then you can decide which childcare provider you use. As for not sending her to stay with mum you may have to apply to court for an order, but if you are worried for her safety whilst she is with mum then just don't send her.

arcl 12/09/2014 at 2:40 pm

My fiance and I have temporary custody of his 3 year old daughter and everytime she goes and spends a couple nights with her mom she comes back bruised or scratched. We have also noticed that when she comes back from daycare she has marks on her. We want to switch her daycares as well as not sending her back to her mom what is the best thing we could do?

Sha 27/08/2014 at 10:14 pm

Separation and divorce mean just that....they are painful and upsetting experiences yet a parent has the right to get on with their own lives and that often means that they will need to prioritise their own lives and needs This can mean downsizing to a cheaper property or cheaper area as well as considering where best to live near supportive family or friends. It is far from easy and very difficult and yet the parent who has custody is often seen as not caring when they are often the ones who are doing their best in the interests of all concerned under very difficult circumstances.

exoticbrit 06/05/2014 at 12:05 am

My ex wife had been living locally to me and near to my daughters very good Primary school. My ex wife used to work at a school close to my home...she is currently seeing the guy who lives opposite the house...I have moved on...Divorce has recently come through....my ex got a full time job at a local school not too far..then moved house closer to her new school.... but due to extra care costs at school...and traffic issues in the morning...she has then moved the girls to a school closer to her new place...this was never discussed with me..I take an active role in their education and I am perplexed how she could do this,,in recent weeks I have also found out that she did not put my name down on the emergency contact list...I am a teacher too...she knows where to find me..It was my eldest daughter who told me this..she is 9..clued up and and seen my ex do this and questioned her...mum told her it was not her business...my daughters are finding the work at this new school easier and whilst they would like to move to another school...mum is now looking at jobs closer to her parents house ....100 or so miles away..I don't get along with her parents...My daughters told me today that they were not happy with this and anytime they talk to mummy about it..she doesn't want to hear what they have to say...her response is we can deal with daddy later...I am getting more and more frustrated as to what rights I have.... I have shared access to my kids....Ie 50/50 during school holidays and as I work a number of miles away..it was agreed the children could stay with mum....does this automatically assume that she has the main parental custody and can do what she likes? I'm at my wits end..I really do not want my children to move away...I currently see them every Wednesday in the evening and also have the every other Friday evening to sunday evening ....I cannot see how moving them away from me is going to make my access any easier? please help.

kash 09/12/2013 at 10:29 pm

Hi this question is for behalf of my friend, my friend had been seperated from his wife for 4 weeks, there share a child 4years old, the child has remained with the fathers family home who also he lives with his parents who also play an important part with the childs up bringing, my friend the childs father made an application for resident order as the mothers been violent to the child and there been in court, so the court has said while there sort out these alligations the child will remain with father at there family home, but still mother still have parental responsible for child, shes living in a hostel women refuge, my question is my friend have been looking after his child for 4 weeks dropping his child and picking her up from school but yesterday her mother came to the childs school half way through school hours and removed her from school and not returned her back to father, please could you let me know what should father do to get daughter back, then she can reside back with father and grand parents.

trish 17/11/2013 at 8:07 pm

I have joint custody of my 5.year old. We both have a say in everything. Before he started school I would have him 5 days and his dad would have him 5. He started school and his dad threaten to take me to court unless I let my son go to school where he lives. My son has been in school for 3 weeks now. I have decided since we never went back to court that I want my 5.days back and since the law in PA says he doesn't have to go to kindergarten I decided to tell his dad that I don't want him going anymore and I'm keeping him days . Could he usagainst me in courtkk?

Twizzlestik 19/03/2013 at 12:21 pm

My partner has a six year old daughter, and we are experiencing dreadful problems with his ex-partner, over the last two and a half years he has been falsely accused of abuse, contact has been withdrawn with no notice, they have moved address with no consultation, and now his ex-partner is about to change his daughters school which we only found out because his daughter said that she had a big secret... We would if we could employ a lawyer, but currently this is impossible, we also do not qualify for legal aid, any advice on how to proceed in the right way would be gratefully received, we are very aware of the impact that this is having on his daughter as she is being used as a weapon and this is now spilling over and impacting my son who is also six and thinks that some of this is his fault as my partners ex has told her daughter that he is a disgusting child and that she (the daughter) should not be nice to him or myself and only be at our house to see her father.
I collect my partners daughter from school every Wednesday and every other Friday, I also do the school runs on the mornings she is with us after an overnight stay, I have been trying to arrange Easter contact and we are now at our wits end as his ex-partner has informed us that she has placed her daughter into holiday clubs for the duration without again consulting us.

lou 12/09/2012 at 5:35 pm

My ex has taken my daughter moved away and change schools with out telling me what can I do I have contacted my solisitor and police are involed what else can I do?/

naz 07/09/2012 at 1:33 pm

my wife and me are not living togeather but we have 4year old daughter togeather and im a gaurdian also and recently put her in a school near my home where we always lived and it was her first week in school and she decided to change her school and not inform me about it and she moved to her parents house 4hours from my home.

Mishy79 24/08/2012 at 1:16 pm

I live with my husband, my step children and my 2 daughters, we have full custody of the children and my husbands ex has part time custody (one weekend in every 3 and a third of the holidays, we do all the dropping off and picking up) as does my step sons biological dad. We have been thinking of moving or extending our house for a couple of years now and we have mentioned to her a couple of times. We can only afford to move 10 miles down the road as £100k cheaper than here. She lives in a 2 bedroom flat with her hubby and younger 4 children, my step children often spend the weekends they are there on pull out beds in the lounge. I know how big their flat is as a friend of mine we went to see has a flat near the mum and my step daughter said it was exactly like her mums. Last Summer the mum and her hubby were arrested on charges of neglect due to their home being "unlivable in" and for a while they were only allowed supervised contact with the kids for short periods of time. The case has now been closed and everything back to normal.A couple of weeks ago we found the perfect house (10 miles from where we are now) in a lovely neighbourhood, lots of space for the kids, my step son would have a decent size room to himself as he is the only boy, and near some wonderful schools. We discussed it with the kids and then my husband told his ex. The kids said that she had said legally we cannot move them or change the schools without her permission (she takes no interest in school as far as we can see and it does not effect her contact as per the court order, but she has told them that it is down to her to choose their next school. She chose the school they're at now which is further from us than others that are just as good but put her younger children in totally different school nearer her so she can't even pick up step kids when she has them for the weekend after school on the friday so we have to take them to her). When my husband told her just after telling kids she sounded down about it but said was fine. We told step sons dad who was really positive (they both have the same parental responsibility as each other) and was really pleased for us. My step son has had a lot of emotional problems the last year, started self harming which we got him to counselling for and got him a bit back to normal but a couple things happened at his bio dads and his mums this holiday so he was a bit upset about the move when we told him but reacted the way most boys his age would and his main concern was that it would mean he wouldn't go to his bio dads or mums any more but we reasured him it was only 1 extra mile for his bio dad to come pick him up and a 20 minute drive to his mums so it works out we'd only be dropping him off to her 10/15 minutes later to her on a friday and would pick him up normal time on the sunday so wouldn't change anything and we wouldn't stop the contact because of moving. The children are both with their mum next week and we are wo

Bex 07/09/2011 at 11:52 am

My son has a daughter with his ex partner. A couple of months ago she told him that she has enrolled their daughter in nursery for two days a week. She never consulted my son about their kid starting nursery so he didn't get a say in which nursery his daughter gets enrolled in. Not long after she told him that my son started having his daughter four nights and fives days a week, two of them days he has her are the two days the mother said their daughter has nursery. He, myself and the rest of the family are starting to believe that the mother of his child made it up. Can my son speak to the staff at the nursery and find out if his daughter is actually enrolled in that nursery? Many Thanks.

Ask Separated Dads a question

Ask our editorial team a question and we will reply with our advice. Tell us as much about your situation as you can: the more detail you give, the more useful our answer can be.

You do not need to use your real name. Please do not include your full address, phone number, email address, or the names of other people. We may edit or remove identifying details for privacy and legal reasons.

Comments are moderated before publication.