Guide to Court 3: False Allegations, Cafcass & Representing Yourself

Author: Abigail Taylor

Here is part 3 of our Guide to Court. This part of the guide explains: how to handle false allegations and perjury; dealing with cafcass and representing yourself in court. There are also three sample letters for you to use as templates. You can download the entire guide (see below) or you can read it here it on the site.

If you haven't already done so why not read part 1 - the 1st hearings, court forms and writing a court statement

and

part 2 - constructing a skeleton argument and using character references

Perjury or False Allegations

Perjury is committed where a person is proven to have lied in court. The elements necessary for a conviction of perjury are:

Deliberate lie
Told whilst on oath
Proven to be a lie

Whilst lying on oath is probably most common in divorce proceedings where emotions are often running high, these are the cases in which it can be the most difficult to prove, as it is essentially one person's word against the other.

Where perjury is proved, the penalties can be high and even include short prison sentences. However those committing perjury, in divorce proceedings particularly, are not always prosecuted due to the difficulty in proving lies.

How to deal with perjury during a trial

There are no particular rules on how to deal with a witness who you know has just lied under oath. However there is a "trick" that most barristers use:

Check what the witness has just said with them
Ask for more specific details about what they have just said (allowing them to dig themselves into a deeper hole)
Point out the conflicting witness statement or evidence that proves they are lying
Directly point out one must be incorrect and ask which
Suggest to witness that they are now deliberately misleading the court (don't be surprised if they deny or don't answer; you're point has been made to the court)

For Example:

Sue says to court that John never helped out with the children or around the house.

John's barrister: You said that John never helped out with the children or around the house isn't that correct?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: So you had to pick up the children every day from school isn't that right?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: You cooked tea for the children every night didn't you?
Sue: Yes
(etc. - don't overdo the confirmation questions - 3 or 4 will do)
Barrister: Can you look at this statement please. What is this document?
Sue: My witness statement
Barrister: This statement was made by you wasn't it?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: That's your signature on the last page isn't it?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: Please can you read the last paragraph to the court
Sue: "I confirm that this statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief"
Barrister: So everything you have written in this statement is true?
Sue: Yes
Barrister: Please read the first line of the fifth paragraph
Sue: "I usually finished work at 6:30pm and didn't get home until 8pm on the bus as John wouldn't let me have the car."
Barrister: If you didn't get home until 8pm, how did you always pick the children up from school and cook their tea when they finish school at 3pm?
Sue: (Her response is really irrelevant)
Barrister: I suggest Mrs Smith that you are in fact deliberately trying to mislead the court today aren't you?
Sue: (Again her response is irrelevant - you have shown the court that she has lied and discredited her whole evidence)

The general rule to allow them to say enough that they can't say it was a simple misunderstanding of the question. (A misunderstanding won't discredit the rest of their evidence.) This technique is colloquially called "give them enough rope to hang themselves".

Dealing with Cafcass

Cafcass are the Child And Family Court Advisory and Support Service. They are experienced in dealing with matters involving children, from care proceedings to residence disputes.

You will come across Cafcass if you apply to the court for any order involving your children. Essentially a Cafcass officer will report to the court advising them on what is best for the children (which may not necessarily be the position you are asking the court to impose).

Usually Cafcass will want to meet with you to discuss the application made. It will always be best for you to cooperate with Cafcass and arrange a meeting. Remember that the court will very rarely pass a ruling on an application that is against the recommendations of the Cafcass officer. The meeting is therefore your chance to openly explain your side of the matter to the Cafcass officer and discuss possible alternative arrangements and the impact these would have on you.

Court Statement Writer

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Tips for your meeting / discussions with Cafcass

Be honest with the officer (they are highly experienced and trained to spot lies or inconsistencies)
Be open and answer questions fully (they are not asking about your day-to-day activities to judge you but to get a fuller picture of your family life. Therefore if you go clubbing once a week while your mother babysits the children, say so)
Don't be afraid to disagree with the officer (if they suggest a solution which you don't think would work, such as would involve any unreasonable amount of travelling on your part, explain this to them - It may mean they don't suggest this as an agreeable solution to the court)
Don't be embarrassed (the officer will have heard every possible scenario before and I can assure you that there will always be situations worse than yours!)

Representing yourself in court

On TV you often see a dark wooden courtroom with a judge sitting high up behind a bench, lots of barristers all wearing black gowns and wigs, someone at the back behind a glass screen, witnesses giving evidence from their special wooden box, and journalists hurriedly writing down every word said.

This is a criminal court - NOT family court.

Family court is much more informal. There will still be a judge sitting at the front behind a bench, but no one wearing wigs and gowns and there are rarely any media present.

Media and the family court

Family court used to conduct all its work in private. However this led to a lack of public confidence in the court system and so family court proceedings are now open to the public. There are lots of restrictions on journalists in these cases though. For example they are not allowed to publish any details that would identify any child involved in court proceedings. Some proceedings such as those involving domestic abuse are often still held in private.

Consider however, the public interest in knowing your family's contact or residence arrangements for your children. A good test is whether a stranger on the next street would care about what your arrangements are. No? Then it is unlikely that a newspaper will pay a journalist to report on your particular case. (Contrary to common belief even many murder cases go unreported in the media as there are just too many cases and unless you're famous or the case involves something horrific such as extremely serious child abuse or mass murder, often there is no point in publishing it as it doesn't sell papers.)

Partial representation

When in court, you will have to stand up and tell the judge your case. You will also have to answer any questions about your case from both the other side and the judge. The judge will stop your ex-partner interrupting you, but can't stop them pulling faces etc which can be off-putting.

If you are happy to do everything yourself but feel a bit anxious about this part, you can opt to just instruct counsel (a solicitor advocate or barrister) to represent you for the final hearing. This will severally reduce your costs but may relieve some of the worry for you.

Free help and advice

There are ways to get help with your case without paying for it however so you're not on your own!

You can get legal advice and help preparing your case (including the points you want to say in court) at your local Citizen's Advice Bureau. They sometimes have walk-in clinics but often allow you to make appointments to discuss matters too. You will still have to speak for yourself in court, but if what you say is pre-planned, it isn't as hard.

You may also be able to get representation in court via Legal Aid if you have a low income and so can't afford to hire a lawyer privately. This may also exempt you from paying court fees to lodge your case.

Letter Template: Requesting a character reference

[YOUR ADDRESS]
[DATE]

Dear [name],

I am writing to ask you to give me a character reference.

I am going to the family courts in [PLACE]. This is in relation to a [contact / residence / parental responsibility] application. This character reference may be considered by the court to help my case.

Below are some tips which may help you in writing the reference.

Useful tips for what referees should include in your reference:

Address to the judge directly (if known) or to the relevant court
State how you know the person you are writing the reference for and how long you have known them
Any positive attributes you can attest to
Any activities of the person you wish to draw to the court's attention
The likely effect on the person of the order being or not being granted
Only state the truth (it is an offence to mislead the court and will likely damage the person's case)
Sign and date your reference
If possible put the reference on letter-headed paper

Please return the reference to me at the above address so that I can forward it with the relevant papers to the court.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me in this matter.

Yours sincerely,

[SIGNATURE] [YOUR NAME]

Letter Template: Cover letter to send with your court statement and court forms

[YOUR ADDRESS]
[DATE]

Dear Sirs,

Please find enclosed my court statement and forms in relation to my application for [contact order / residence order etc].

Please can you confirm receipt of these forms via post (to the above address) or email (to [email]).

Yours faithfully,

[SIGNATURE]

[YOUR NAME]

Template letter: Representing yourself

[YOUR ADDRESS]
[DATE]

Dear Sirs,

(Re: Case Number [CASE NUMBER])

Please note for your files that I will be representing myself as a litigant in person in the above case.

I propose to bring with me [NAME] as my supporter and [NAME] as witness.

If you have any objections to me representing myself, please notify me within the next three days.

Yours faithfully,

[SIGNATURE]

[YOUR NAME]

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More information

If, after using our information, you have successfully negotiated the court process and managed to secure a court order enabling some kind of access, contact or residency order, congratulations! If you are finding that the court order is not being adhered to, then you may want to take a look at our guide: After the Initial Court Order.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Court Statement Writer lets you draft a court statement for your hearing. Takes 5 minutes. Try it now →

87 Comments

Ask a Question or Comment

Any brown 31 Mar 2023

I see Curtis booth has made enemies! God forbid if I see the 4 eyed freak about

Gazza 29 Jun 2021

Hi Anyone going through similar my wife soon to be ex was controlling situation with my 5 kids for 4 months supervised visits blocked phones alienated the older kids I tried MIAM mediation she refused back in April also the last time I spent time & had face time with the kids because i applied for Court no other option by the way as she stopped all contact as prior I was having supervised & phone contact, I was on the verge of seeing them on my own & I have a email from the wife saying this, But her mother caused a issue not the first time in the 4 months she had interfered, this caused the direction of court but my point being my wife was on the verge of coming around to me being on my own with the kids, But now she has made allegations of domestic abuse & something about my mental health & treatment, I have found out my 11 yr olds twins have told the School they don't want to see me, strange as I have not had any contact with the kids since before she sent the email? & all the kids prior that email had asked their Mum if the could see me on their own so seems strange the twins have changed their minds & my wife was coming around to the idea then because i take it to Court she starts the dirty tricks allegations? Do you think a District Judge will see through her game?

murdo 16 May 2021

hi. 1st cafcass hearing is on Tuesday. My son is trying to get parental responsibility for his son. He was born last November and non of us has seen him. His ex has claimed he is a drugs dealer. Totally false. Will she have to prove false allegations? My son has stuck to the truth throughout. He only wants contact with his baby boy

Craigo52 17 Apr 2021

Hi I had a C79 application hearing against mother other week, and gave a 2nd amendment of 5 further breaches going into court. I was left in shock of how representing yourself due to costs, even as a good father to your children , by remote hearing, the judge come on, said ge needed to adjourn case as defendent mother wasnt represented today as she didnt receive application papers and her solicitor couldnt make it, she told judge she chased it up and incorrect address was given for herself, it was a lie , address on C79 application on checking was correct, then week before I had returned kids after school hols 9 days and nights with myself, mum agreed they had a good time, the judge then established ongoing access until her upcoming c100 hearing asking for amendments, to limit access further based on false allegations, where evidence in my c79 applications proves to be false, he actually quoted for her, intentions clearly send to him ahead my C79 application hearing, stating all the intentions and false allegations mothers making in her upcoming hearing, and used this as s bias yo set on going access contact for myself until her hearing!which ended up offering me 4 hours daytime conta t when you take drive time out of the six hours to and from my home, I had to decline this, as stating this would devastate kids, who dont like returning to mum as it is and wasnt prepared after just having them finally as per contact order, for a long period previously too to destroy particularly my oldest mentally and emotionally by accepting this contact it wasnt in their best interests and goes against current court order and the basis the judge led the defendent on was from evidence and allegations she is making in another upcoming hearing.Barely allowing me to speak but allowed mother to rattle of so many lies,these poor children they have have conta t constantly breached by mother since last year when made, now got same judge who made order, allowing mother to hijack the hearing I had waited 4 months to be heard to show how malicious shes been and affecting the boys mental and emotional health so badly mine too preventing us having the loving relationship we have together, which was supposed to be adjourned, to use the court hearing to put her own upcoming case forward in it, clearly led by the judge reciting for her what her solicitor had sent yo him pre hearing, So only have phone contact now until then. This, having clearly a biased hearing, the children left in huge emotional turmoil, having had their dad ripped away from them again, it's been 7 times since last year shes done it yo them, al, unfounded allegations, I finally defend myself by self representation with family help as I'm dyslexic, to ensure the boys rights and needs are met in their best interests and I'm trampled all over in a hearing that wasnt used for purpose and a judge clearly led by her solicitor who reckoned had to adjourn cae as her client wasnt represented. Lost faith in

Equality 4 Feb 2021

I would like to thank the individual/s who run this website. You make a real difference! Thank you for taking the time to assist those who’s only resource may be you.

Corruption investiga 2 Jan 2021

Has anyone lost their children/ baby at the hands of Croydon family courts. Socicial workers and cafcass workers?? from Sutton , Merton, kingston, Richmond, Bromley, wandsworth, have any of these social workers been from Zimbabwe, Ghana, Nigeria, South Africa, kenya.

Corruption investiga 2 Jan 2021

Katie stay with the truth, dont lie for someone else

Isla 5 Oct 2020

I have recently had a case with my brother for Deputyship Order for an elderly relative but the Social Worker involved with my aunt has totally fabricated information to the courts but was backed up by my proof showing her lies. Where do I now stand at having her prosecuted for liable, malice, slander and deformation which has caused me severe distress and heartache etc?

Chels 26 Sep 2020

My x is taking me to court for full custody of our son he got took to court by his father with a 2 year restraing order against him so my grandparents whom I lived with and my son took him in but most of the time he was at my grandparents he was abusive and a bully i left and went to my mum's it happened quiet alot he then moved out got his own flat and has applied to the courts for my son to live with him saying i live at my mum's i moved back when he left i thought I could not look after my child as he commented on everything I did when he had gone my relationship with my son is great ive got my confidence back and a really good mam but he is saying i live at my mum's still also ive got learning difficultys i have been assessed but he has its just lies ive told my ex he can have him anytime but not over nite as i think he would be at risk as he sometimes doesnt wake and has nearly hurt my son when he has nightmares not remembering but he said he wants full custody

Pinhead 11 Jun 2020

I have my first court hearing next month I would like too know one I need too send me opening statement too the court but do I also need too send it too my exs solicitor. Many thanks

Chris 8 Jun 2020

I have a court order in place where my children live with me due to their mother's emotional and mental abuse. When this was decided by the court and social services she appealed and it was rejected due to the evidence of abuse. She then cut all contact with them for 3 months. She was ruled to only be allowed supervised contact in a contact centre and supervised phone calls which were only permitted by myself and social services after discussion, she was again abusing the children during these calls so social services and myself decided in the best interest of the children they should be stopped. She has now put into court for a child arrangement order which has been given a date. Is there any way to avoid this going back to court and putting the children through all that again. Social services are aghast at this and I feel the court has not shown due diligence and checking the case records previous to setting a date for hearing. What can I do?

Mike 24 Jan 2020

I need help & tips relating to repping myself in a final hearing.Cafcass has messed me around so much I’ve had to adjourn the case twice due to them not submitting a full S7 report, they cost me £1809 for a barrister which was listed for a final hearing only for them not to show up and get the case adjourned. I need tips to get the best result as I’m now skint. From what I’ve seen so far it’s more about getting magistrates on side n kidding arse but I’d love to hear from anyone that’s repped themselves in court.

Pakpak 16 Oct 2019

I have been in court battle since January 2018. My ex husband the step father of my son was abusing us he stole all our money we suffered tremendously including almost drowning me. And cafcass recommended for him to have PR ever since then he began to manipulate my son to live with him. He is an alcoholic confirm by lab report all of that cafcass still transferred my son to live with him in January 2019. Since then I have not spoken to or see my son. He has given me no contact with my son what so ever and keep saying the child doesnt want to see me. The child has not seen any member of my family also since then. This is a black child am black and the step father is white I feel so lost I cry a lot I pray someone will hear my cry.

chriso 17 Jun 2019

@concernednanny.after reading your post i see a lot off similarities with your story to my own story but the[ best advice you told your son] was get a [solicitor }.i didn't when my daughter was 5 and i myself have had orders on me witch makes it [extremely] hard then .but my daughter is grown up now big teenager with her own life[ the gods truth is she wouldn't even remember me]. that is how long its been years fly bye .but i think she would have turned out alright .so yeah good luck to your son bye the sounds off it he's going to need it i know from experience i have walked in he's shoes many years ago .tell him stay calm and let the solicitors work it out its the only way good luck .

Concerned Nanny 17 Jun 2019

My son was in a relationship with his ex for a coupe of years, resulting in my grandaughter who is now 5. They have been separated for 3 years. 2 years ago, she stopped my son from seeing his daughter and they had a huge fall out, resulting in my son going to the property and it all getting a bit heated. She blew things out of proportion and my son got arrested and ended up having a restraining order on him for 12 months, which he abided by. During that time, it became apparent that the mother was in an unsafe relationship and the children were put on an child protection plan. My son was then having his daughter for 3-4 nights a week during the last 12 - 18 months. The children are now off the plan. My son recently had cause to believe that someone with a violent past - being imprisoned twice for violence - was visiting the family home. My son went to speak to the mother and it all kicked off again - she recorded him being threatening and abusive. I have heard this and to be honest, he did get very angry but no physical violence was used. My grandaughter was not present at the time. She has now stopped my son from seeing his daughter again. He has now been served with a non-molestation order which has quite a few statements in it which are not true. I know that this time, she is trying everything she can to keep my son out of his daughters life. He is a good Dad and Him and my grandaughter love each other very much. I have advised him to go to the solicitor. Can any one help me with what happens now? All the way through this, I have been allowed to retain contact with my grandaughter and am allowed to continue this. Thanks

DD 22 Mar 2019

My ex claimed I abused her to obtain UK visa after an 18month marriage. She has given 3 different statements, one saying I threw her out the house, others saying me and my family would beat her up most days and treat her like a slave. Only constant thing in all 3 statements is that she said she was thrown out, in the family court when I mentioned the safety of my mother as my ex had ran off with my keys, she later on the spot changed her story saying she took the house keys...you don't get thrown out the house and then given houses keys, passport and suitcase. Unfortunately in the family court my solicitor failed to write up any evidence and requested and comeback date which was denied - I was furious at my solicitor and had to accept, but denied the charges. I have screen shots/text of 18/24 claims she made on her statement. One major claim was that I sent death threat to her, but because she lost her phone she lost the email. Any email I send to anyone gets tracked/ I get notification. She accessed 2 emails whilst IN the court waiting area, I also have record of her reading my 4-5 emails I sent almost 100 times ( case was I harassed her)she also later resigned the amended statement agreeing to the changes of me allowing access to a part of town. The Home Office has allowed her to stay, but I wish to represent myself in court/high court. If I can get a criminal record put on her, she cannot stay permanently, whereas for now she can stay until the end of 2019. Can I represent myself on this claim? I am not entitled to legal aid, but I cannot afford lawyers etc

AlWith2Kids 16 Mar 2019

What should you do if a Cafcass officer has put a claim in her report about a previous report which is clearly and absolutely untrue? The report is available and not only is it not a safeguarding check on the individual in question, it barely refers to them. I am going to report this to the police but I get the impression that they will wriggle to avoid doing anything. (The officer has gone to considerable lengths to avoid any safeguarding on this person.)

Helen 29 Jan 2019

My ex lies about me trying to stop seeing our I have text to prove it cafcass and court all believe saying I'm not trusted with money my bank details sat in the 7 year's of our son life he's paid to get of pay maintenance for our son he's very angry but he goes awayon holiday and leave here out he say i he never call son apart from hes birthday and Christmas he abusive to mensure and the kids x

Chez 25 Dec 2018

My husband has been accused of abusing our granddaughter, he was arrested and bailed. But 4 days later the police after investigating said there was no evidence of abuse so NFA. That was over two years ago. Our grandchild has never said anything to anyone but the mother, my sons ex. We have not been able to see our granddaughter in a private dwelling for over two years. My son had been estranged from me, his dad, his sister and his niece and nephew for 3 years before the allegation. His ex tried to stop him from bringing the children, she has another daughter who is not my sons, but who he loved like his own, to see us. So when the allegation was made we had only seen the girls 6 times. On each of these occasions we were all together, my husband had not been left alone with either of the girls for one second, not for any other reason than we were so happy to have our son back that we spent all our time together. She has lied on several occasions but the court don’t seem to want to know. My husband is a broken man and it is now breaking our family to bits. My husband sees our other 2 grandchildren whenever he wants even picking them up from school and they are of similar age to our sons daughter. Please can someone give us advice, I am on the verge of a breakdown. My husband is a good man and doesn’t deserve this.

Emma 27 Nov 2018

My husband has been in and out of court since 2010. He's meant to have 3 kids, 2 live with us, they moved in, in 2014 because their mother was abusing them. Now, since 2010 the kids mother has all 3 are his, she has even told the courts this. My husband hasn't seen his youngest since 2016, tonight she informed my husband (in a very mocking tone, almost gleefully) that his youngest isn't his. I've got to be honest, I personally think she has known the whole time. Where does my husband stand, she's lied to the courts, lied to cafass, and social services (who have investigated her 27 times in 6 years). There is a court order for the 2 children( one is 14 and suffers from ptsd the other is 11and suffers from attachment disorder because of the abuse @ their mothers house)to have contact with their younger sibling and their maternal grandmother but now they know their grandmother knew they don't want to go. Where do we stand with everything

Jzom 19 Nov 2018

Hi What could i do if i have evidence of my ex lying to leave the country with my daughter. I lost my daughter despite a CAFFCASS report in my favour advising the judge not to let my ex live abroad permanently. Now i have not seen my daughter for more than 12 months as the mother is not following what the agreement saya . She is now instead trying to change history in Spain trying to modify the order completely . I have evidence now that she lie to the court in the Uk. Thanks

Tellford springs 13 Nov 2018

@etchathon.you read my mind you hit the nail on the head .

Etchathon 13 Nov 2018

Hello everyone , just want to know if I go in to the court an say look I just want to see my child it's Blantently obvious me an the ex partner have no eye contact , but my concern is to see my child . I am not here to bicker I am here to arrange to see my daughter , Then when she starts saying stuff about me an I get questioned I'll just my concerns are my daughter an that is all I will say throughout her speak or her solicitor speaking , because at the end of the day my it's true , she tried to kill me in the car with the baby inside but I won't bring that up in court there is no need to them days are done my concerns are my daughter oh an your honour I would like to take a D&N test please but would like the mother to take one please just for safe guarding , thank you. Let me know what you think ?

SeparatedDads Editor 2 Aug 2018

Unfortunately, we cannot give personal/individual advice. It is very rare that a court will decide to take a child from one parent and hand the child over to another unless there is very good reason. You would need to seek legal advice about appealing the decision.

Dizzy 1 Aug 2018

My daughter has just lost custody of her son. Her ex lied and the cafcass officer was awful. My daughter was treated unfairly and despite character references and plenty of evidence, cafcass still favoured her ex. Now, we showed proof of emotional maltreatment, as did the school, there are past contact reports that say her ex is emotionaly detached from child, he has said everything his son said is a lie and cafcass have put the chd in his Care. This was done with immediate effect and my daughter has one and a half hours to say goodbye. We had no fact finding hearing which wouldhave proved every single lie, cafcass changed my daughters statement and the schools and disregarded my grandsons wishes. My daughter was told she had to give copies of her evidence to her ex but she hadn't even seen his and still hasn't. There are past reports that say my grandson is safe and loved in his mothers care so why has this done and why are liars never held accountable in family court. The real fishy thing is,my daughter was told cafcass report would be given to both parties, at the same time which should've been on the Friday. Then we got an email saying that they would give the report on Monday morning. Daughter received hers via email at 9.30am. They were in court for 10.00am. Now her ex had a 4hr drive to get to court but when he arrived, he had a statement already prepared!!! He must be very clever to be able to write and print with one hand whilst driving!! How is this possible and why are you permitted to lie in court. We now have to go through appeal. Would love some advice please.

SeparatedDads Editor 22 Jun 2018

We cannot pass comment on individual cases. However, it is rare that access is prevented unless there is a provable reason why. The courts do want non-resident parents to have relationships with their children. You say your partner's solicitor wants your partner to co-operate with Cafcass, if your partner doesn't cooperate with Cafcass then this will not go in his favour. From the interviews Cafcass conduct, their reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It’s a measure of how important the Cafcass recommendation is that the court will almost invariably adhere to it.

Fran 22 Jun 2018

Hi, My partner is going through hell and it seems like the law is set up only to protect the mother. He and his ex partner has split but he simply wants access to his child on a regular basis, however although the mother has a history of mental issues relating to Post partum depression. On her evaluation she even confessed to having suicidal thoughts and wanting to kill the child. This information was presented in court but instead of her being under scrutiny, her allegations against my partner that he abuses alcohol and drugs, where brought under scrutiny so much so, he had to do tests to prove he is not abusing drugs or alcohol. All tests came back negative for my partner but yet he continues to not have access to the child although he is paying child support every month. The mother lives with her husband and 3 other children in her family home as she had entered into an affair with my partner and that's how she got pregnant. He has done Parenting classes under the recommendation of cafcass but yet every time he goes to court, the judge keeps deferring the case claiming there Is not enough evidence in order to make a decision and as a result a child is growing up without having a bond with her father. The mother only allows him to see his child when she feels like and that is one time in 2 months or none at all because she has already told him that there is nothing he can do and that he will not see his child because the law supports the mother. So please tell me if there is something he can do because he has even had solicitors in the past who proved to be a waste of time and money because on both occasion his previous solicitor only tried him to get him to coporate with the demands of Cafcass, who wrote in there evaluation that because my partner lives in a one bedroom flat, and the mother lives in a two bedroom house with her husband and 3 other children, then her home environment is a better family unit in comparison to my partners place, although, within in flat he has cot and draws for the child , whilst in the mothers house ,the child is sleeping in the same bed as the mother and her husband and the child has no bed of her own. Please tell me how this is right ?

SamN Editor 15 Jun 2018

@Debi - unless your ex can prove it, he has a long way to go to prove damage from two years ago. Why didn't he report it at the time, that is the?

C.laurie 12 Jun 2018

@debi.what you just said doesn’t seem like it come of much sounds to me like hear say and no police report and the time frame nothing to worry about .just my view.

Debi 12 Jun 2018

My x is accusing me of criminal damage to his car more than 2 years ago saying his friend witnessed the damage being done its a question being raised durring a court date to determine weather a fact finding hearing is required i was unaware untill now that he was saying tbe damage was done by me it was not reported to the police is his friend of 10 years a credible witness? Isnt it unfair to call a friend as a witness as the friend is going to lie if asked to do so by my x ?

Katie 15 May 2018

I was assaulted by my ex-husband but they took me to jail because he put on fake blood you pulled me by the back of my hair and maybe fall backwards on the hardwood floor I am disabled I've had double hip replacement and a broken femur and he wants me to go to court tomorrow and say that I was drunk and I had taken drugs but that is not true we were both drinking wine but I do not take drugs and I told the police that he had pulled me backwards by my hair to the floor and put on fake blood and the police told me he did not believe me and my ex wants to go tomorrow and get it dropped but he wants me to say I had taken drugs as well as alcohol but that's not the truth and I don't know what to do

Angie 10 May 2018

I am looking for advice as to the legal implications of lying during a child access case . L recently had this happen when my ex partner claimed during the hearing not to have remarried when he had .

Cheese 13 Apr 2018

Hi I took my expartner to court due to not seeing my daughter on 2x13 weeks a 16 and 18 week gaps on mums say so. I took my ex to court and all seemed well as we reached an agreement and she even offered school holidays. Cafcass had to approve but some how have turned this into a nightmare. I've now not seen my daughter for a whole year she is 4years 6 months. We had a really good relationship and cafcass have ruined it. Social services were in full support and yet now I'm here any advice would be brilliant as I've spent in excess of over £10000 so far on solicitor fees

Mr M 25 Mar 2018

Hi i am currently going through court due to my ex partner stopping me from seeing my new born baby. The matter has gone to a circuit judge due to false allegations she has made against me. The only thing i am worried about is that she may have polluted her other childrens minds to make a statement against me. I used to have a good relationship with her other children, i used to take them out regularly without their mother and treat them like my own. Now i am really scared thatif she has polluted their minds it may prevent me from seeing my baby

Dave 18 Mar 2018

Hi all this is the first time doing this my ex partner my sons mum.. has stopped my access to my son.. My mother's access and all my family she is claming I'm abusive and we have to go to court.. My ex is a compulsive lier.. lied to me at her age when we meet she was 17.. told me she was 18.. invited me to her 18th birthday.. as a clown I am I turned up with a 19th bday card not knowing in till I saw the banners and bollons... she has nude photos on line that I have seen and have evidence.. I have some good evidence in the pics like... moles/beauty spots... (in certain places no one else has... Necklaces.. with nudes and with out... . and other things om the photos her top half is out and her bottom half.. she has lied to the police about me saying I have assaulted her... I have proven to police I'm incident... and no further action has been taken.. never arrested but I have had to attend volentry interviews.. never been charged.... I confronted her about the naked photos on line. Only because of my son saftey and she went mad saying I was lieing and phoned the police on me for making false claims agents her ... police has never spoken to me about this and also she claimed on her solicitors court doc they have... lieing again..... I'm going to prove she's a lier and also have been from the start in family court and going to represent my self as well.. I don't want to take my son away from his mum. In my eye they shouldn't but she's lieing to police about me trying to get me arrested... false claims I'm abusive stopped my access and my family's access.. have I got a good case to protect my son from his lieing false making disgusting mother (disgusting mother part was only for the nude photo)and trust me the photos are bizarre... evidenced if needed.. lying on court doc (purgury) lieing to police.. waiting police time.. and no doubt she will lie under oath... which will be proved on the day... Leave a message Leave a comment

Gina 6 Feb 2018

I have come out of an emotional domestic abusive relationship on more then one occasion with an ex who is ge father of my unborn child. I'm currently 6 months pregnant and have nothing but stresss as I'm dealing with someone who which I believe to be a narcissist and have a narcissist personality disorder, which as you know is hard to prove. I do have messages screenshot and things saved and police are aware and documented as is my doctor who has signed me off through stress depression and anxiety. Due to the fact I've never denied him access however has put the word court in my mind to make me fear the worst. I have proof he is going to do this to buy Being written down. I will not be putting him on the birth certificate and I want him to have the minimum access and supervised as I don't want him round my house when she is here. Unfortunately I would have been more then willing to do this properly between ourselves but the threats and him accusing me of giving him domestic abuse saying he has messages again putting the fear in me and When actual fact it's the other way round. It's hard to deal with a narcissist and they paint a good light within themselves to others and make them the victim. Any legal advice would be much appreciated. Many thanks.

A damaged rose 28 Jan 2018

For the past 3 years I have been living with the consequence of my actions in choosing to stay in a relationship afraid to lose my daughter but not being happy in the process. So to cut a long story short. I am a black man in early 30's at the time late 20's and we had moved house from the city to the country after finding out we were pregnant and realising we could not afford to live in the city. We were excited and everything seemed to be going well. I had a job waiting for me when we moved, it all seemed to be perfect. Soon after we moved my partner became depressed. I put it down to the pregnancy and tried to do all I could to help. She became worse after the pregnancy and I had started to become depressed myself. During this time of me being depressed from all of the stress and abuse I haven't mentioned... I met someone who simply new what to say and after a few weeks I began to have an affair. I know it was wrong, it was stupid, it was immoral and I have no excuse for my weakness... but it did happen, and I was found out. She decided that she wanted to make it work but this was actually a plan to set me up. A few months later, she dialled 999 and began shouting and screaming at me about cheating, and then began to start throwing herself around the room and shouting for help. I was arrested for DV, she was moved into a council house for free as she only worked part time and I was unable to see my daughter because I had no idea where she had been moved to. In court, it was terrible, I actually felt sorry for her, because her lies were so transparent. After I was proven not guilty I applied for access for my daughter (this was nearly a year after the arrest) it has taken a further year to get into court and now she is claiming I am a drug user! today will be 589 days since I have seen my daughter and it still hurts as much as the first day I was without her. I have now gone in armed with the truth and wisdom and I will make sure that my daughter knows how much I have fought to get her back in the fact finding hearing on 2nd Feb. I only hope that the court will once again see the truth, which Is an emotionally hurt but unstable woman that will do anything to get revenge after my affair. I know I was wrong to do so, but to use our baby as a weapon to inflict emotional torture on both me and our daughter is completely wrong to me. What I would like to know is if she is caught lying in the court on purpose (as she has done it before) is there a way I can get her to pay for those lies at my expense via the court?

Ant89 Editor 22 Jan 2018

@Justme - you can refuse. Your ex would then have to apply to court. If you're concerned, then the court may not allow him to go.

Justme 20 Jan 2018

My ex had an affair 5 years ago with a Czech girl 15 years his junior. They are still together and he has just announce they are getting married in Czech and would like our 11 year son to go. Despite my son always maintaining his relationship with his dad he has no relationship with his dads girlfriend. I think my son was upset with the situation with her at first and now neither of them try and they simply stay out of each other’s way during access. Our son is refusing to go to the wedding and nothing will change his mind. What can I do? can his dad force him to go? On another point his dad has no family his parents are elderly (in late 80 and 90’s) therefore are not attending he has no brothers, sisters cousins, aunts or uncles who would look after our boy during the wedding day and night? I simply feel I would panic that not only is in a foreign country with people he doesn’t know but also would be left with strangers not even with the same language. Potentially he may have English friend who could look after him but this isn’t fair! How do I progress!?

Lea 9 Jan 2018

My partner is fighting for his children In court but someone has written a statement saying they heard a conversation from me to another person Saying I was talking about information about the court case which is not true they come to my workplace and said they heard this conversation take place between two other people I was just wondering what rights I have on that statement been shown in court without me being present And if I should write a statement and the girl I had the conversation with should make a statement

Andy 26 Dec 2017

Socail services are using aligations against me witch were made against some one else in there fresh hold in family courts. In my defence that are discrediting me and slandering me from being a father to my partners children

Frustrated father 22 Nov 2017

I have been through 7 years of malicious behaviour from an ex girlfriend. We have two amazing children whom I love very much. She has caused the children myself, partner and family huge amounts of pain and suffering. After our final separation She ha done everything possible to cause me pain and upset. The children are her only weapon and she ha made it her only consistent focus to try and break me, and now break my marriage. She is consistently caught out as a Lier and when I finally took her to court she was completely shown for the price of work she is. But even though I went into court having not seen my children fr 5 painful months and her demanding I ever had them again. I walked out of the final hearing having gone alone with no solicitor walked out with more organised care than ever, everything I asked for on behalf of th children I was given. The court order was delivered but she has been chipping away at it from the start. And still actively focused on destroying the positive relationship I and there step Mother have with both children. Attacks my wife even with a babe in arms and frustrates contact, refusing them to come to us regularly. Now this was bad enough but again she is calling social services and basically making wild accusations and telling lies. I have done everything by the book, but I need advice on why she can continue to lie to everyone, including the law of the land and overstretched social services just to cause me pain and my wife. How do I make this stop, how do I make her legally stop.

Bella 31 Jul 2017

An acquaintance is going to court over his children as his ex is trying to relocate them. He has had access to her statement in which she cites me as his current partner. This is not true and the ex hangs around with a particularly gossiping person who dislikes me. Is there anything I can do about her making false statement about me?

SeparatedDads Editor 16 Jun 2017

In the first instance, you would have to complain directly to the local authority body in question. Please see CAB link here which will give you some tips about the best way to complain. You may also wish to seek legal advice if you think this is a matter for the courts, the CAB can help you assess whether you may have a case to answer.

Rach 15 Jun 2017

Hi I was wounderin if any one could help a threw months Togo my kids got took in to care by social survices as they sad the threshold had been met it wasent till after the court ended I received the paper work and notice that they had used false statments on the the threshold letter which I can prove wot can I do about this

Smithy 2 Apr 2017

Hi I need some advice,a couple of weeks ago my kids got took in to care,to cut along story short I only received the paperwork going threw it I notice that wot they put wasent true and I can prove it but I don't no wot to do now cause I don't think my kids should go away threw false statements please help

Lost mum 28 Jan 2017

I need help . My husband has made false accusations against me of dv , now I'm to be summoned to court on 2 charges of assault. I can handle that but they are using my 8 year old daughter against me in court, has anyone come across this before ?

LBH87 Editor 28 Nov 2016

@Georgio - thanks for the advice. It's a minefield out there for sure. Lee.

Georgio 28 Nov 2016

People you need to understand that even solicitor and Baristers can get it wrong. And it will be you that will lose and pay out money. Befor you go to see a solicitor or report something to social service you need to get your fact straight or it will cost you double the money. Just going to a Solictor don't mean your trouble are over they mean your troubles have just began. People you need to prepare months before you get legal advice. The firs hour is free in a good solicitor practice, be prepared take a note pad don't be shy talking get all the information you need get a law book steady your problem before you take it all the way. And if you skint and can't afford to go to court you need to use cunning. Even if you Solicitor says you have a good chance also if you get legal aid you still may have to pay it back out of a settlement and be left with nothing but a headache or much worse. Don't trust or speak to the person you are he is taking you to court. Keep a diary at all times and believe in yourself.

Georgio 28 Nov 2016

The best why forward for anyone that just can't afford to pay out money is to make the other party take the mater to court first, then all you have to do is prove them wrong by working hard and getting as many people that you know can testify on your side. If you are a just and good person then you will do all right. The judges can see the truth and you should never over do it in court just believe in yourself and family's around you they to can help letters don't cost money. And if you need to involve a solicitor then get take your time, log things that the court would like to know. Months befor a court case started. Also even if you don't need to do all this becouse you put your trust in your partner or family member when it comes to kids and problems you should always start as soon as possible and have a day to day dairy and write down anything that you may need in the future. Believe in yourself, You can do it.

Speck 12 Nov 2016

Hi Duchess, There are similarities with your situation and mine, although I currently have residency of my grand-child under a child arrangements order. Social services recommended it and the judge made the order. Next time I saw the social worker was at a monthly child in need meeting where she announced the case was now closed. And that is when the trouble began.... Hostility in many firms from both parents and no support for me, left to deal with it alone. And of course there is a toddler being used as a pawn by her parents. Malicious child protection referrals to social services about me all proved unfounded. Then the court summons drops through my letterbox. Then come the false allegations, which the social worker repeats in her report to the court. She did not even ask me about them all but made out she had. If she had I could have given her evidence of the lies, she asked about 2 different allegations and them merged them to say that was my reply to what was never out. It is all bonkers. I feel for you Duchess, you are not alone. Good luck

Duchess 2 Nov 2016

Hi all I'm due to attend a first hearing for access to my Grandaughter who I raised when her mom my daughter was young after little one was on a child protection plan then child in need plan we all worked to get her mom has had many problems including attacking me and my partner her step dad baby's dad not involved we've been given permission from the courts to apply for the child's arrangements order but carcass r not helping and state that the courts can't make a interim order cause mom had parental responsibility yet carcass have not listed all moms behaviour and have stated to think carefully before giving us contact mom has lied stating we abused her but we didth and went school reports when she was younger and baby's father can't be involved as daughter stated to police at the time it was a alleged rape can we instruct that the judges request a DNA test to determine if he is the baby's father and can the judges make an order or does a section seven have to been done first any help or advice would be appreciated thanks

Lily 1 Sep 2016

My ex partners' solicitors informed me today that they requested transcription from the final hearing. Does anyone know please whether they have to share the content with me? Also,is it possible to appeal after the allowed appeal time which is 21 days in my case as it's Family Court?

Heartbrokedad 13 Aug 2016

Hi there. I really desperately need some advice as my ex partner has lied in court and her lies have been used against me despite me proving to my solicitor she was lying my solicitor failed to defend my side. Instead my ex's solicitor ruled the court room and mine sat there in silence hardly saying two words. An interim contact order was made and the residence order she asked for was declined. However although she has never been there for my son until recently which I proved also, after leaving us both in 2014 forming A new relationship with someone and having another baby to him she then began to see our son more often and took me to court to get residency of him. She had now basically been handed all that she asked for for to my solicitor failing to defend against her lies. I feel I have been unfairly defended and want to know how I can put this right ASAP. My solicitor has refused to help me any further stating that he cannot cope with it all and he isn't earning enough money from it, He told me to sack him on the day of the child welfare hearing and walked away from me several times whilst I was explaining to him that I wasn't happy with the curator report and what was about to be granted to my ex. He said he doesn't want to act for me anymore and stayed I should go elsewhere to someone who can help me further. My son does not want to be with his mother half the time as he doesn't get on with her due to her never being around before they don't have a bond as such. Her new partner smacks him etc and he refuses sometimes to go back to hers and so on. Please please help me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated I don't know where to turn for help and have lost faith in the legal profession as my solicitors negligence has now lost me my son who I have raised alone since his birth. Many thanks in advance.

mandi1513 8 Jul 2016

Iv got a final hearing coming up but in my last hearing my ex partner lied on two occasions to which i can proove he has lied how do i go about this as taking me to court was his way of being malicious and now iv been told by my solicitor that bcus he made an application for an order he can take me back to court as much as he feels he needs to as he has rights to. Where do i stand with this now if he gets the order like he hopes for then what happens if he lies more and takes me back iv been made aware its imprisonment .. he can easily say the orders been broken as he loves to interfeer with my peraonal life yet iv moved on in my life he wont accept.

Jean 15 Jun 2016

My son and daughter in law have been taking steps to gain full custody of her son, who is at this moment in time is residing with her mother. Social services collect her son twice a week to have supervised contact with his father. Today my daughter in lae has received a court order from cafcass which amoung other things states that they believe her son lives with me, his step nan.

ash 30 May 2016

I am looking for advice about appealing against a final court order. I have evidence that social workers and family support worker has lied under oath. The judge allowed evidence by my ex's barrister to be considered that the judge said was not allowed at the beginning of the final hearing. If my ex is not happy with the conditions of the order can she take it back to court to get this changed, she is trying to control when I have my son for 2 weeks over the summer as she is not happy at the dates I have chosen.

SeparatedDads Editor 20 May 2016

I'm afraid this is impossible to predict what the court may decide. But given your son is 14, then his opinion will be taken into consideration. However, whether the court will agree to him being taken out of school in term time may be another matter.

SeparatedDads Editor 20 May 2016

You may also wish to try the Separated Dads forum to broach your question to our readers.

JULEZ51 19 May 2016

Has anybody appealed in family court and won when social services are involved? Has anybody reported social workers to HCPC and had a good result?

vizzy 27 Mar 2016

Hi I hope you can help us we have 3grandchildren in fostercare .aged 3/2/12 weeks we have been fighting them they have no real reason to hold them expect the normal crap but what I do have is footage of my old social worker telling us he did not write the section 37 he was builled in the work place because he was black and list goes on had a transcpit of the DVD done. We have been set up big time the court case is in may and it's does not look good the lies they have made up where can we take this without getting into trouble or make or case any worse than the social services have mad it? Many thanks

VICTOR 9 Mar 2016

I am at present waiting for a final resolution hearing and have a CAFCASS meeting before this. My appeal against a Domestic Assault conviction will be heared on May 20 Child arrangement hearing is 4 days before this. My question is do i adjourn for outcome of appeal which i have evidence to prove i am innocent or go in with the conviction? Any advice?

Kel78 7 Mar 2016

Can i ask the judge to look at the case again if I feel the social worker doing the report is very bias and one sided..there in no truth is the allegations made by the ex or evidence to prove it.

myz 25 Feb 2016

Mal administration racial discrimination perjury defamation of character caff Cass have stated they they have lied , allegations made thrown out but i have only been given indirect access how is this possible that one can be judged on whats said in court and not whats actually proven by fact evidance etc

Nipper 18 Jan 2016

I would like advise on what to do when old boss and girlfriend write a stat Declaration against me that were false but i was proven innocent in a medical court. Stat declarations they wrote were lies and I have proof it was all lies.

Mac1 2 Jan 2016

I've been fighting for 2 years for contact it has cost me 22000 pounds in legal fees my wife continually breaks court orders the court does nothing about it. Cafcass are useless and side with her. I'm giving up

gazza 19 Dec 2015

I have been to family court and my final earing was in April I got a order to se my son every other weekend. But I've changed my job and I cant get him Some weekends. I've asked my ex can I pick him up from scschool the week days I don't work and take him back the following day. The answer was no . To be honest I don't really want to go through court once again. But this is not leaving me with much choice. The last time we was there I can actually prove that she lied to discredit me. There was that many but I can prove that she lied not by other people by my phone bill that she suggested that she rang me crying down the phone to take my son back I never received one call frrom her on the suggested day but to be honest I really would want to go down the amicable rote but as my son is only eight she does not have to .

barry 3 Nov 2015

I am being falsely accused by my stepmother of saying something derogatory to her. Her mother is the only witness.

Fayce 14 Oct 2015

Hi all, I am a separated dad of a lovely 4 years old son. I am going to try to make it short and as accurate as possible. I had to get a court order stamped by the court to get access to my son and have my name on the birth certificate 3 years ago. At this time, we haven't been in front of the court as the mother of my son has been scared so we have written an agreement specifying our names, the name of our son, the fact that we will add me as the father on the birth certificate and the number of days per month I will get access to my son. Today, the mother of my son is telling me that prior adding me on the birth certificate she changed our son's surname to her partner's surname which is I think a story she has made up but I am a bit worried. I remember that when we have been to the birth registration office (it was after getting the court order) to add my name as a father, my son's surname was clearly her surname. I have the birth certificate showing that. So, my questions are: 1) Is she lying to me as the birth certificate is clearly showing that my son's surname is her surname? For your information, I have traveled abroad with son 4 months ago and his surname was her surname on his passport. I have also been in touch 2 weeks ago with my son's school and when they asked me the name of my son I have provided his surname and they found him straight away. 2) Is there a chance that she is telling me the truth but in that case how is it possible that the birth certificate shows that mys son has his mother's surname? 3) If she has really (I don't know how) changed our son's surname before adding me on the birth certificate and most importantly before our agreement being stamped by the court, can we consider that she has deliberately lied and given false information to the court and then risk to get in trouble if I sue her in court? What does she legally risk? Thanks for your help and guidance.

Confuseddad 10 Oct 2015

So mmh solicitor just rang . What was a 3 hour hearing has now been postponed for another month and dropped to a 2 hour hearing ? Is this enough time for a final hesring ? Cafcass report is strongly on my side so hoping they just want to ask cafcass officer a few questions then rubber stamp the order and we be on our wY ? Anyone heard of a 2 hour hesring before ?

SeparatedDads Editor 6 Oct 2015

While judges are not legally bound to follow the CAFCASS report, they do in general follow its recommendations. However, there is still room for change as the judge may take on board some of the recommendations, but not all. I have included the link: My Positive Experience of Cafcass, here which may interest you.

Nearly there 5 Oct 2015

Hi after some help After a year long battle with the wx i have received my sec 7 report amd is strongly in my favour States all time should remain as it is and no time to change at all After this report has come my ex has slammed the cafcass officer in her final statment saying that i have conned the cafcass officer , then accused me of domestic abuse but does not have one little hint of evidence . My wuestion is in light of this un substained alligations would the judge follow the cafcass report amd is it common for judges to follow cafcass ?

Rich Editor 21 Sep 2015

@Shiela - I imagine it would depend on how damning the accustions are.

Sheila 20 Sep 2015

I have been told by a member of socail work department that the information I have told socail work about my daughters father can't be reported to the court without his permission. How can this be the case when they wrote things about me that were hear say & not investigated to be fact in a report to the courts without my permission. I think socail work are trying to cover their self by saying this, so I back off. they thought the best place for our daughter was with him but his behaviour has changed & the socail work have facts of this but can't report it to court, what I learned at my socail science course was socail work can report the facts when standerds of care of a child is at risk & can overrule needing permission or they would never get convictions. someone please advise me on this matter. Thanks

Sue 10 Aug 2015

My brother was found guilty of a driving offence due to perjury by the main witness. She claimed that my brother drove slowly from a car park across a pavement knocking the man down and pushing him out into the road. She claimed he didn't see him because he had not de-iced his windscreen ( this was proved incorrect). There were 3 people in the car none had been drinking and nine saw the man. She claimed the car knocked him onto his back and drove straight up his body "nearly to his head" The man was nearly 7ft tall and obese, the car has a clearance of 5 and 1/2 inches clearance, he couldn't fit under it. He fell on his back but injured the front of his head above right eye. He had cream trousers on but they and his coat remained clean. What actually happened was the man was drunk and attempted to walk in the road around vehicle slipped and fell. The driver was looking to the left to check for traffic before proceeding, the car was at the kerb. The car moved forward and came into contact with his ankle and reversed back. Police will not even talk to me. M.P. Is hopeless; tried Davud Cameron and reply via Home Office is " the police say it will only investigate after appeal court tells it to" asked them to check if this is correct and they basically said stop contacting us we have nothing to add. Tried CPS and they said they only act after the police has completed its enquiry and referred case to them. Barrister took it to court on grounds that witness was mistaken and lost, further appeal denied as witness was a reliable witness. Appeal to appeal against decision not to be allowed to appeal failed for same reason. Case is currently with Miscarriage of justice office but is unlikely to see action before November 2017 and that date is likely to be delayed as people in jail get priority. Tried writing to investigating police Officers and main and county police no answer or met with rudeness. Tried police complaints authority who won't act as they feel I have no complaint against an officer. In any event they refer the complaint back to the police you are complaining about, something the county police were quite happy to inform me about If someone looked at the perjury claim and investigated it my brother could get his life back. I have the evidence but can't get anyone to even look at it

SeparatedDads Editor 3 Jul 2015

@angie - you may be able to complain via whichUnfortunately, as yet, McKenzie Friends are not regulated, however if the judge accepted what the McKenzie Friend said without evidence, this is rather lax.

angie 2 Jul 2015

I also represented myself in court last time. With a mckensie friend. He tried to discredit me saying I stole stuff and I got charged for it with no evidence.!! Police investigated before hand. Yet the judge believed all my ex lies. I have statements from those thatchers with me dropping everything that belonged to him. Shocking. That a judge yet again. Works for a liar with no evidence.. I really don't understand how anyone can get away with so many lies. Under oath??'!

angie 2 Jul 2015

Hi. I dont know where to turn for advice. My ex married before my devorce. All paper work is went to immigration as it was a philipines he was keeping behind my back. Whilst still suppose to be married and playing the game of reconciliation. All for money. My financial court was a nightmare. With lies under oath throughout by my ex. This was in 2010. I waited a year for the court order to come through. With lots of discrepancies. and I was told it was too late to appeal. I got in touch with a legal ombudsman as my solicitor had not represented me correctly and my paperwork was a mess. Which I won and the solicitor didn't get about £4.000 still owed. It never included the fact I had my own property before I met my ex and I paid for the family home with the proceeds. along with all renovations on the new property. Which I stupidly put into joint names. I should of put it into my children's names. with promises from my ex to contribute by paying the morgage which was very small. Which he never paid anything of. I still decided to pay costs to have a transcription done from the hearing. This was also a mess. The judge did not turn on the tape after a break. My ex lied about paying csa fir the two children I had to him.. He hadn't paid anything.. The judge didn't look At that evidence. It wasn't submitted so he didn't want to see it. My ex lied for material gain. Which amounted to around £24.000 to the date of court and another 5 years at £30.000 he said he would be paying. Which he didn't pay At all. He said he was paying £500 a month from 2006 and would continue to pay. I didn't claim it until late 2007. And his brother lied to csa fraud. Saying my ex moved abroad. There has been a lot of other lies under oath. I was told by a judge last year. to still appeal and explain why I am just doing it. I put in that appeal and it didn't get sent to the right court and lay in an office. Then the next judge I saw. Was my ex trying to get me out of the house. But my daughter was still in full time education until her birthday this year.aged 21. He was ordered to contribute and make arrangements to support girls through college. . He is only interested in gaining money.. Is it best to try to appeal again. Or go into it as purjury? I realy don't know. As i am about to lose everything I have worked for all my life. Without help from anyone. I also brought my girls up without any help either. Working full time and struggling alone. Kind regards angie

SeparatedDads Editor 11 May 2015

@Daniel - I'm afraid this is every parents' worst nightmare and I'm afraid I can't really advise on this. I can only suggest that yuo make sure you have some good legal advice.

Daniel 9 May 2015

I have just come back from court and in shock that my ex has decided to apply for residency. He does not like that fact that I am looking to relocate (30 mins down the road). To add to the shock he is now suggesting that my current partner might be abusing his own daughter. This is unfounded and my partner is now going to be investigated. I can't believe that this is happening. I would really appreciate some advice - has this happened to anyone

SeparatedDads 8 Oct 2014

Anger and hurt in any break up in a relationship can sometimes result in parents using their children as a weapon. The main concern in these arguments is of course the children as they are often the ones most affected by such decisions. Your son should try to discuss the matter logically with his ex, in the first instance. If this doesn't work, he should send a registered letter asking for contact to be re-instated and if she doesn't, he will begin legal action. You need to keep proof of all communication, including a copy of the letter. If this doesn't work he should apply for an interim contact order through his solicitor before it goes to court. While the contact might be limited (depending on his former partners' level of co-operation) it should help in the short term. I know this can be a heartbreaking time for excluded fathers, so best of luck.

Terrence Graham. Tho 8 Oct 2014

My son is going for custody of his one and only child. His ex is telling a lot of lies and the Social Services appear to be taking her side. She drinks excessively and she rules her other children with an overbearing way. She sent me an e.mail stating that she is using his child as a weapon by not letting him see his son, which includes his birthday, and the Social Services are ignoring this fact. My son idolises his child and he is in pieces. He is representing himself on 19.11.14. He has not receivedthe Social Services report and they appear to be dragging it out. Please help.

carmel 7 Oct 2014

I was convicted in court of causing a nuisance to my neighbour, who happens to be the son of a member of the House of Lords. All involved, the solicitor, witness and complainant lied in court, the witness and complainant under oath, and did not summit any evidence against me in Court, except a list of malicious allegations. I was barred by the judge to submit my written witness statement with proof that everything I was accused were downright lies. He was awarded the legal costs without presenting any bills and verbal statements that the claimant was in dire straits , when in fact he owns a large portfolio of properties which he lets and must produce and income of at least £20.000 a month and has interest with properties in the Costa del Sol, Spain, yet when I am and elderly person with a small pension I was made to pay his legal fees and ban from using any electrical appliances. I believe that the judges were influenced by the fact that the complainant portrayed himself as being The Honourable C.B. I would like to find out what can I do to have my sentence quashed and the claimant to be prosecuted for perjury.

Poppins 6 Apr 2014

Argh still awake writing skeleton arguements and trying to ensure the ex trips up on her numerous lies TIRED>COM

mario 14 Mar 2014

How I can fight false allegations of domestic abuse I need to prove that the allegation are false . how I can do it in quickest way My ex partner is using the allegations to get attention of court and other institutions. the allegations are ongoing since 2011 until now We are not together since march 2012 and live in separated homes.

mario 14 Mar 2014

I would lioke to ask what and who I need to contact to be able to present my self in the best way in the court, There is shared residence order in place but is not working . My ex partner she put application for full residence I want the same. I believe that I have strong case but I need to get more references to make my case stronger Cafcass is involved and social services asked to wrtte section 7 report cafcass will write recomendations. time is running out and I need help

PHILLIP BLAND 1 Nov 2013

The web site content is excellent and very useful. The web site functions , however, are not user friendly.I could not print the first page of each subject and struggled to find the " contact us " e-mail which I finally found. The solution to all the problems for " separated" children is that they must feel loved and be loved.

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