Sample Separation Agreement

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Sample Separation Agreement

What is a separation agreement?

A separation agreement is a written record of what you and your ex-partner have decided about practical matters when you split up. It covers arrangements for your children, how you will divide finances, and the disposition of jointly owned property or assets.

These agreements are not automatically legally enforceable in the same way as a court order. However, they can become legally binding if entered into as a consent order through the courts. Even without this step, courts will often take separation agreements into account if disputes arise later, particularly if both parties had legal advice and the terms were fair at the time of signing.

If you cannot agree on everything, writing down what you have agreed still helps. It gives any solicitor you hire later a starting point, which may reduce your legal costs by narrowing down what still needs sorting out. That said, a written agreement cannot replace the formal legal processes required to finalise matters properly.

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Sample separation agreement template

Below is a basic template you can adapt. You may want to add sections or remove ones that do not apply to your situation. There is no single correct format, but this gives you a structure to work from.

Separation agreement between:
[Your full name] (Date of birth: [DD/MM/YYYY])
and
[Other parent's full name] (Date of birth: [DD/MM/YYYY])

General terms

  • We agree to live separately.
  • We agree not to interfere with or harass each other.
  • We will cooperate on matters relating to our children and respond to reasonable requests in good time.
  • We will share current contact details including phone number, email and home address, and update each other if these change.

Children

  • The children will live mainly with [parent's name] at [address].
  • The children will spend time with [other parent's name] according to the following arrangement: [set out days, times, collection and return arrangements].
  • We agree to allow reasonable one-off changes to this schedule when it benefits the children, with advance notice where possible.
  • We will consult each other on significant decisions about the children's education, health and welfare.
  • We will keep each other informed about the children's wellbeing, school events and medical appointments.

Finances

  • [Parent's name] will pay [amount] per [week/month] towards the children's living costs.
  • We will review this arrangement if either of our circumstances change significantly.
  • We have agreed how to divide savings, debts and other assets as set out in an attached schedule [if applicable].

Property

  • The family home at [address] will be [sold / retained by one party / other arrangement].
  • Any proceeds or equity will be divided as follows: [delineate division].

Signed

[Your name] Date: [DD/MM/YYYY]

[Other parent's name] Date: [DD/MM/YYYY]

Witnessed by: [Witness name and signature] Date: [DD/MM/YYYY]

A witness should be over 18 and independent of both parties. They should not be a family member or someone with a financial interest in the agreement.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Things to consider

Child maintenance figures can be calculated using the Child Maintenance Service calculator on GOV.UK. This gives you a baseline for what the paying parent would typically contribute. You can agree a different amount privately if you both prefer, though any figure below the calculated amount should be carefully considered with legal advice, as this could affect the children's welfare.

If your agreement covers property or significant assets, getting legal advice before signing is sensible. A solicitor can help arrange for the agreement to be made into a consent order through the court. This requires both parties to agree and sign the consent order, after which a judge must approve it by confirming that it is fair. Only then does it become legally enforceable.

For child arrangements specifically, you might find family mediation helpful if you are struggling to agree. Before applying to court for a child arrangements order, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), unless there are safeguarding concerns such as domestic abuse. Many mediators are accredited through the Family Mediation Council.

Keep the language in your agreement clear and specific. Vague phrases like "reasonable contact" can cause problems later if you disagree about what that means. Setting out actual days and times, even if you build in flexibility, tends to work better.

Next steps

Once you have both signed the agreement, keep copies somewhere safe. You may want to send a copy to your solicitor if you have one.

If circumstances change, such as one of you moving, a change in income, or the children getting older, you can revisit the agreement and update it. What works for a toddler will not suit a teenager.

This template is a starting point, not a finished legal document. For tailored solutions, particularly where your situation involves complexity around finances, property or safety concerns, professional advice from a family solicitor is worth the cost.

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Ask Separated Dads a Question
Fuzzy 14/01/2023 at 7:01 pm
My ex wife’s GRANDMOTHER died and we bought the house from the 2 sons and 1 daughter as house was left to them.We bought the house from the 3 of them. My then girlfriends mum said she will give my ex wife her 1/3rd of the house, and she asked me to sign a document to say I am only entitled to a 1/3rd of the house if we split up as I was just her boyfriend at that point. We then got married 11 years later, and unfortunately we are splitting up….my wife says that I will only get a third of the houses worth? We live in Scotland so I’m just seeking advice on what I should be entitled to, or will me signing this letter come back to bite me?
AB 06/12/2019 at 1:29 pm
I have just split with my boyfriend, we have recently bought a house together, I intended to keep up with the mortgage payments and bills on the property. He will no longer live here, He is willing to go along with this agreement, if I pay him his half of the deposit. His name will stay on the deeds for a minimum of three months so I can prove to the Mortgage lender I am able to pay it on my own.
I need advice on a letter of agreement by both parties before I give him his money
Thanks
A 07/08/2019 at 11:34 pm
I have been married 4 years now 3kids aged 9 and 6 (twins) I am from a broken home and dont really want to put my kids through that as i know how awful that was for me growing up. I have a great relationship with both my parents now though which makes me think it will be worth it in the long run. I pay for the mortgage and all the Bill's and pay an extra 750 into the joint account for food entertainment etc.
My wife currently doesn't really earn anything but is hung up on me paying more money into the joint account. It Its has come to the point where I have decided enough is enough and I am refusing to give her any more money. She was happy to hide 200 a month in her own account when we were getting tax benefits while 100% of my earnings were going into the joint account to pay for the house.
I dont get anything from my relationship with my wife and I feel there is no point putting off the inevitable.
What are my next steps?
What is a fair seperation I dont want to leave my kids without a house I can't afford to pay a new mortgage or rent and a mortgage for a house I am not living at.
Che 11/06/2019 at 10:55 pm
Hi. I have a 11 month old son with a woman and I’ve brought up her 7 year old son as my own, every week I’m accussed and subjected to abuse from this woman , I’ve stayed with her due to the kids and hopefully that she would get help, she will not accept any responsibility and I get the blame for everything , she stops me taking the elder lad to training and competitions where I am a coach and then stood me seeing the baby so I have to go nd l and make out everything is ok , I don’t know how I’m still sane it must be for the kids. If it was a film you would think it’s too far fetched. All I get is pain and I can’t seevot it getting any better , she has no empathy or realisation of how evil this is, I’m scared for the future and don’t know where to turn as there is no middle ground or even a conversation as it every thing that’s said is turned into something obsurd or unbelievable. I just can’t go back again I just want to bring my kids up properly. Can you advise
Sharon 05/06/2019 at 6:14 am
I knew our marriage was over but we stayed together and lived separate lives for years. I slept on sofa for nearly 2 years, and drinking cider till I was pissed. And chatting to men constantly on my I pad flirting aswell. I told my husband one night after he came home from pub 2 get the hell out my house and never come back. I was always shouting and throwing my TV remote at him or anything I could. I was horrible and told him what 2 do. So I controlled him really. My husband worked hard, good money he earnt and I really didn't need 2 work. I was quite lazy and did nothing all day. My son is 18yrs old now. We never got on and didn't have a bond. So his grand parent's brought him up really. I fill ill and was in hospital for weeks on end. I was on life support and nearly died. My hubby was amazing and did everything I needed and stayed with me in hospital. Looked after me well, I went home and got better. I needed physio so he took me there. But I got pissed 1 night and wouldn't let him back in the house told him 2 never come back and he didn't. I told my son the same the next day to do 1 and never come back too. They got a rented place living together now. Hubby pays for the mortgage, has done for the last year. I'm not paying Bill's so I've met a new man after a year and moving in with him far away. Hubby is trying to divorce me but not sure I can afford solicitor fees. I don't know what to do. I'm not working either still getting paid ESA benefits. My hubby wants the house and buy me out. What will I receive?? Please help. Thanks.
Mumneedhelp 24/02/2019 at 11:30 pm
Hi, after 7 years marriage my husband left me and our 2 years old daughter, 2 months ago. We was having hardships in the past 6 months, he will drink and become aggressive more often. He’s excuse, stress at work and no time for himself when he is home with us. In September we separated for a week but he came back wanting to work things out. He promised to stop drinking. Our relationship was getting even better and we felt happy again. But not for long, on the Christmas holidays he started to drink excessively, every day for about a week. He changed to that disgusting arrogant man again. He made a massive drama and he left.
He is a company director ( successful business) and I was working for him for over 3 years. I found out that he requested my P45 few days before he moved out. So Im left without job and no money to looking after our daughter. I was working from home 3 days a week and I’ll pay for our daughters nursery(£60 a day) out of my pocket plus food shopping, some bills, Petrol and days out and toys and clothes for our daughter. The pay wasn’t very much. I wasn’t living luxury life that’s for sure, I was giving it all for my daughter.
My ex cancelled credit cards, changed passwords on the private pension, even shared online shopping accounts ect. He put the family house for sale without my permission, he cancelled the fixed mortgage that we just renewed, without my permission. He used copy of my ID documents without my permission so he can move the sale on the house forward. Our both names are on the house and on the mortgage. He pays the mortgage and the bills for now. Apparently He is putting me and our daughter on the street. He said the most important is the house to be sold, not what is going to happen with our daughter and I. Also he said he is very generous with me to offer half of the money left after the sale ( so I’m supposed to get 25K if I’m lucky ha) we both have contributed for the house perches, depose ect.
I’m not UK citizen( im from EU country) and I don’t have any family to stay with here in UK. However my ex is British and he have family and friends here.
He currently moved with his parents. Owns half of his parents house.
All he says is “ yes I love my Daughter I want the best for her” but then he doesn’t ask about her at all. He doesn’t pay any child support and don’t seams to tempting to do so. I have to begging him to speak with her in the phone. He came once in 2 months to spend 1 hr in the park with her. Luckily she is used to being with me all the time so she doesn’t ask for him at all. But when she does I’m telling her daddy works very far away now but he will see her soon and she can call him anytime.
However now I cancelled my daughters nursery, I can’t even look for a job as I’m full time mum and My ex is threatening me that if the house doesn’t go for sale he will stop paying bills, he will claim himself bankrupt, suesisive and depressed and I’ll not see a penny for him. Don’t have anyone to he
ste 16/01/2019 at 9:37 pm
I have 2 daughters age 11 & 13 but I am not on there birth certificate to which there mother is using too her advantage and picking when I can see and speak to them. My eldest daughter (13) has made it c lear she wants to live with me and when she did for 2 weeks the mother took her out of school and now if she comes to me she will phone police for abduction. how undo I get on birth certificate or can I do a dna test to prove she's mine as so she can not take her from me/wheere she wants to be.
WorriedDad 29/08/2018 at 11:05 pm
When my partner divorced, she denied me access to the kids. Even my family. She doesn't answer their calls and she likes to play around with my feelings but I don't want to get maniuplated by her again. I need to write a letter but what if she doesn't reply? I have no money for mediation. Anyone have any advice?
SeparatedDads Editor 26/07/2018 at 1:56 pm
whichshould tell you all you need to know about the process of applying for access where your ex will not agree.
Dan 25/07/2018 at 2:08 pm
My ex and me have 3 year old twins I have only managed to get myself on the birth certificate which was a struggle. I want to have more time with my kids on my own currently she started (18th July) allow me to take them to a local park for 2 hours with a promise to increase this when it becomes more regular. I don’t agree with this and have expressed that I want to be able to pick my children up at an agreed date and then drop off either the day after or in the evening which doesn’t seem to compute with her can anyone offer any help I work full time, pay CSA, never been on the wrong side of the law and have never had to depend on alcohol or drugs. It seems that my ex is just a difficult person to deal with.
Don 11/05/2018 at 3:08 pm
Is this separation agreement the same as a Memorandum of Understanding in divorce re finances? Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 14/11/2017 at 2:48 pm
Your ex would have to agree to this arrangement as a family-based child maintenance arrangement in order for this to be considered workable. If she doesn't agree, then her option would be to apply to CMS, who will assess your earnings and specify what you should pay directly to her. CMS will not allow you to undertake the arrangement you suggest.
Darren 13/11/2017 at 11:46 pm
Looking for advice my ex left me in lots of dept when we separated and was not paying any of the bills when we was together. I now don't want to pay her the kids matenanc money as I don't think it is going on the kids. Can I open a bank account and pay it into this and if the kids need or want anything they can just ask me is this a good idear or not.
Strugglingdad 30/08/2017 at 10:01 pm
Hi I'm after some advice, I currently live with my wife and 2 children. Our relationship is beyond saving and I'm currently being treated for depression. Which isn't getting any better, with zero savings and no family or alternative home to live. I'm trapped. I also have another son from a previous relationship who I pay maintenance for. I genuinely don't even know where to begin, where do I live? How do I now calculate my maintenance payments to 2 different women..
Up 30/11/2016 at 3:57 pm
Hello, can You help me please.
Any one have a sample for a " letter to my ex", about that, what i want from him, becouse he is my daughter father.
ade 11/11/2016 at 2:11 pm
hi i ended up seeing my ex as her husband was staying away for 5 to 6 month to get
hes alcohol under control so later on she found out she was pregnant than she said it was her husbands i knew it was mine so i left it as there was no point in rocking the boat and knowing one day it will come out its called karma she was told to sort things out with husband she convinced him he was dad then karma come back two and half years later as some one took her on jeremy kyle as he was the farther of the child ( at this point i knew what the out come was going to be as it was read out to person 1 your not the farther of child at this point she took the envelop and walk off stage as she knew what was coming ( JK) to the husband ( heres the karma ) you are not the childs father so now fast forward every one now knows hes mine oh as for her husband he gone back to the beer and split up for good now social service involved for other things and with me not on the birth certificate i can not see him so the first hearing is the 9th dec to get this sorted
Jay 29/09/2016 at 4:32 pm
after some advice really.
My wife left me last August 2015, she walked out and didn't take our son. She in that time has turned up at school once in a year. Has no contact. But I really need to get some arrangement and protection in place. I do not have an address or have no idea where she is. She has just abandoned him. He is 9. I'm currently unable to work and on jobseekers and disability and have no assets. What can I do?
Concerned 28/07/2016 at 11:08 pm
Hi my step-son's ex partner (they broke up when she was pregnant) gave birth to a little girl 9 weeks ago, since the birth she has registered the baby without putting his name on the birth certificate and never allows him access to see his daughter on his own, he's forced to go round twice a week at her mums, which he is doing to keep her happy but he would really like to have time on his own with his family so they can enjoy this magical time. She says she doesn't want child maintenance from him. Does anybody know what he can do to obtain rights to his daughter? This whole experience is awful for him as he just wants to be part of his daughter's life.
MJ 26/02/2016 at 4:08 pm
my ex has suspended my contact with my son even though we have a court order. i have no money to take her back to court i am in despair as i have not seen my son for 3 months now, her solicitor emailed me 3 months ago to say she is taking me back to court to ammend the order how long do i have to wait, my son is 5 and i had him every other weekend.
Mikepsx2003 08/02/2016 at 2:15 am
Hi, my wife and I see separating amicably, we have two children. She is staying with them in the family home which is mortgaged. At the moment my name is staying on the mortgage as I'm concerned the lender will force a re-mortgage if I come off of it. I have stated that I want no part of the property or equity (they will need every penny if they move) and am willing to sign it all over to them. But, I have no savings, earn 15100 a year before tax. Am I entitled to any help renting a place suitable for me to have shared custody of my children? Oh, and I'll be paying half the mortgage and half a loan (around 300 a month) for the foreseeable future as maintenance.
SeparatedDads Editor 19/11/2015 at 10:23 am
No there are no set rules on this. You could try using a mediation service to have get a mutually acceptable, legally enforceable agreement drawn up.
Jayee 18/11/2015 at 12:22 pm
Hi just after a little advice.

Myself and my partner split 3 years ago. I pay a part of my wage a month which is just shy of the 15% CSA roughly state. £300 per month. thankfully this is not a real issue here and i have only missed one payment. My worry is over the concern of seeing my son. I will explain.

My son lives with his mom in a caravan in Derby. I live in Glasgow (and for the first year Liverpool). In this three year period my ex has brought my son to me once. I try to see him for a long weekend at least every month. But because of my job i have to be here. I have never had my son on special days like his birthday, christmas, new year, haloween etc. I am getting a lot of grief at this time for missing the payment i have stated the reasons why and payment will be made. But when it comes down to the point of her being wronged then all hell breaks loose but when it is me who cares.

She lives with a partner who is also seperated and they have an agreement to alternate who takes and drops off their son. I have discussed this to no avail as to sharing the load. but she won't even discuss travelling 2/3 times a year which would massivly help me.

Are there any rules on this? I don't want to go to court ETC and rather keep it amicable but i seem to be biting my tongue and nothing changes.
SeparatedDads Editor 06/11/2015 at 1:49 pm
Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here which, if your ex continues to prevent access, will show you the procedures you may need to go through in order to regain contact with your child.
Roverto 19/10/2015 at 11:43 pm
My x, signed our legally drawn up separation almost 4 years ago, she now claims she does not remember and is contesting it, she chose not to have legal representation and claims she was ill (mentally) at the time. We agreed, that i would keep the family home and that the children would live with me, she also agreed to leave my money alone if i gave her a house that i also owned, i have lived up to my side of the bargain, but she seems set on destroying me. Has anyone on here feed this problem and if so what was the outcome?
Surviving 18/09/2015 at 9:18 am
Hi, Thanks for all the info. I need to draft sthing as 1) Dad lives in another town & turned up unannounced just as coming in door. Stalking/harassment?
2) No set child arrangements in place but is also more uncle dad & does not want to arrange. Control.
3) Does not respond to texts.
4) Gives minimal child support so will ask to review. 5) Paid & arranged new school & uniform myself.
Lots of homework. Want to sit down & discuss things but he won't.
6) Has phone & did not bring it/ safety issue- also has her passport. Writing this out see about
power & control.
Plus child makes excuses for him & I deal with everything
Which is a challenge. Not working at moment as disabled.
I have been advised to spk to a solicitor but may try this letter first.
SeparatedDads Editor 14/05/2015 at 12:18 pm
@Morford - I'm afraid not. You can read all the Separated Dads articles online that might apply to you.
Morford 12/05/2015 at 3:51 pm
Are there any legal pack for separation with children and visitation rights with children
Ricksta860 22/03/2015 at 3:11 am
Every time me and my wife ( separated since jan2015)
Have a disagreement she stops me seeing my children . ( I'm on all there birth certificates .
She's tryed to have me arrested a few times over nothing and quite simply making me out to be something I'm not .
I've never been arrested or in any trouble .
I really don't no what to do
Nick Editor 24/02/2015 at 2:47 pm
@Tax - no, once your son is earning an independent wage you can stop maintenance payments.
Tax 22/02/2015 at 2:38 pm
My son is 17 years and 5 months old, he was in college part time and working part time. He has now decided to leave college and work 31 hours a week with training to be in management. Do I still have pay maintenance payments for my son? I have a family agreement with my ex wife settled out of court.
LizC Editor 27/11/2014 at 12:23 pm
@stu - you'll be ok as long as none of your joint assets go into buying the house and you can prove the money came from your parents.
stu 26/11/2014 at 8:47 pm
I have recently separated from my wife. My parents have offered me a gift of paying for a deposit on a flat that I intend to buy. I wish to know of the vest solution so my wife can not claim half this property?
TLKDRK 11/07/2014 at 5:17 pm
If my ex partner pays CSA does he have the right to see my child?
Jesselis 08/07/2014 at 11:31 pm
My and my ex husband have just agreed to split up, he's threathening to take my son away from me and the dog and says I'm a unfit mother, but allowed me to raise our son for 21 months While he worked. My ex works full time in the army, will I get full custody?
jay dogg 03/07/2014 at 11:25 am
my kids mom left state with my kids and did not tell me. she had them all write me a goodbye letter, and my daughters said she was so sorry that mommy tricked them. she only texts me to ask for money, but will not let me talk to or see my kids. i have kept it civil with her and explained i only want to talk to and see the kids and she gets real nasty and says "screw off take me to court." i need to know what my rights are and what's my first step to getting to see my kids again. we were never married
atl 09/06/2014 at 5:19 pm
My ex partner keeps threatening to move abroad with my daughter.
She keeps informing me she will win the case if she goes to court as she as debt in southern ireland on her flat and is in rented accomodation in the uk.
I asked if I couldhave my little girl longer on fathers day plus suggested 3 nights or tea instead of two!
From this I have had torrid abuse and threats.
I really am struggling
dee 30/04/2014 at 2:46 pm
Steve, sounds like a court settlement. Gather the evidence and present your case in court. Lawyer up basically.
steve 06/03/2014 at 5:42 am
I just want to know. Why is it that the mother always gets the right to keep the kids? She left home to stay with a boyfriend while we still married. She doesn't work and has never did anything for him. She always said that he is not her child and never even changed a nappy. When he was sick with hypoplastic lung syndrome she never looked after him. Why does that make her a better mom and he has to stay with her? Can anybody tell me what I can do? Please I don't want to lose him

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