Martin shares his story about how he eventually obtained a residency order against the odds:
If you're facing a similar situation and want to understand your legal position as a separated father, you can use our free Rights Checker.
Two years ago my ex-wife had an affair with a much older man. I was aware that something wasn't right in our relationship, but I guess I was in denial because I didn't want to consider the break up of what had been a very happy marriage up until that point. We also had a very young son – at the time she met this other man he was still not two years old and I dreaded what a break up of our marriage would do to our child.
Although I was usually working long hours, when at home I loved to spend time with my son right from the day he was born. In comparison, my ex-wife had never been a particularly involved mother. I won't say she doesn't love our son, but she's never been particularly good with children and finds them 'boring'. As time went by her interest in our child seemed to lessen rather than increase. She also took on more work (or rather visiting her boyfriend and claiming to be working), so that our son spent virtually his entire week either with me, or with my parents.
Obviously it couldn't go on like this forever and when I discovered I'd caught a STI (from my wife as I certainly wasn't involved in any other relationships!) I hit the roof and it all came out in the open. We did attempt to patch things up, for the child's sake, but not long after, just before Christmas, I came home to find my house stripped of all possessions worth taking, and my wife and son missing. There was a letter on the table saying she and my son had 'gone to live with a better man' and a very strong hint that I might as well top myself because she was going to take the house and everything else I owned. Apparently I wouldn't want to carry on living as I'd 'spend the rest of my days paying for her and my son to live in my house while I lived in poverty'.
Importance of Getting a Solicitor Quickly
That was the lowest point in my life, I don't ever want to be there again. I admit I phoned the Samaritans many times that Christmas because I seriously considered doing just what she'd suggested, but love for my son and very supportive friends and family kept me from going crazy. Luckily I'd been to see a solicitor the day after she left, one of those 'first hour is free' consultations. They were very good and helped with my application for divorce. I can't state enough how grateful I was later for getting to the solicitor immediately after the event rather than waiting.
Then in the New Year things started, slowly, to pick up again. First, my ex-wife dumped our son on me, as she couldn't cope/didn't want him and her new partner was not interested. Shortly after, she went to see a solicitor and I started getting official letters demanding all kinds of things. But as I had a solicitor myself to deal with these things, I wasn't bullied into anything foolish, again counted my blessings on getting a reputable solicitor so soon after it all happened. We agreed a schedule, but immediately she started messing around with it and changing days on a whim – so I was often left sat in a cold car for hours waiting for my son.
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Following the advice of my solicitor, the next time she 'forgot' to hand over our son I contacted the police, who turned up on her partner's doorstep and persuaded her to hand over the child. The next day she, my son, and her new partner all turned up on my doorstep and her partner attempted to make threats. I just slammed the door on him, but I later found out from the police that I would have been within my rights to punch him – something to bear in mind if you're in this situation. Make sure it's clearly seen as defensive though and, if possible, that a witness is present.
The first (directions) court hearing passed without any major changes in childcare arrangements. The divorce itself came and went – my ex-wife NOT being able to make a claim on any more of my property, so I kept my house, car and sanity, despite all her threats. She and her new partner split up, she moved into a tiny flat completely unsuited to a two year old.
To get 'even' with me she had me arrested for an alleged assault and attempted rape that never happened. After arresting me, locking me in a cell and interrogating me, the police were so convinced nothing had happened they let me go with a great deal of sympathy. In dealing with the police about matters like this it seems absolute honesty and patience are the best options. They have to go through their routines even if they don't believe anything has happened. Another lesson, never lose your temper when fighting legal battles, try to stay calm, focused and logical.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
The Cafcass Report is Crucial
Then started a year of legal battles over the residency of our son. The big decider here being the assessment of the Cafcass Officer and her report. Luckily for me, my ex-wife's instability and messy private life was picked up by the Cafcass Officer. Again, absolute honesty is the key. As I believe is usually the case the Judge in the Family Court went almost entirely on what was said in the Cafcass report. So if there is a key to 'winning' in the Family Court it is to leave a good impression with the Cafcass Officer, as they're only interested in what both parties can offer the child. The end result for me has been a final court order in my favour with my son having two days of contact a week with his mother.
Stay Focused on What's Best for the Child
A final word of warning though. Having said all this, my battle for my son is not over yet. My ex-wife has come back (yet again) with a bid for residency. I shall, of course, fight it, in court if necessary, and I won't let her win. It's not easy, it's not cheap and it's lengthy, so any father who wants to fight for residency really needs to think long and hard about what they will go through. At the end of the day although it might be tempting to go in with guns blazing in the heat of the moment, in quiet retrospect the only thing that really matters is the health and wellbeing of the child, isn't it? As a father if you focus on that and not on your own hurt and anger, you will be doing the best for the child in the long run regardless of the outcome of the legal battle.'
Martin Spencer (not his real name)
Thanks to Martin for sharing his experiences with our readers.
If you have a story to share that could help or inspire dads in a similar situation to the one you have experienced, please Contact Us. We can change names to ensure your anonymity.
I am dumbstruck as to why a so called satisfied Man (with his life) would waste time reading these blogs of a sensitive nature and is perplexed that other men who have seen that white substance they splurged out actually had something to do with this little person who has my eyes, face, whatever.
The hardest part of separation isn’t the woman/man although most aren’t without challenges etc. It’s the guilt of splitting up the little world the child had become accustomed to.
Personally I cannot fathom why any parent wouldn’t want to be involved in their own flesh and blood development for the foreseeable.
Being accountable for ones actions and being Responsible for the upbringing of another is the most rewarding voluntary work ever.
I say voluntary but IMO parents have a moral obligation after all we created them
I have a home owned solely by me prior to marriage.
Every solicitor doesn’t have the appetite to justify exclusion from joint assets and same goes for my pension.
I would love full custody not only because I’m also the involved parent, this way benefits the child massively as she is left unattended from anywhere between 3-6 hours whilst the mother works (from home). She’s then eating past 8 etc.
When I brought this up, as expected it was met with a tirade of, I have no choice what would you rather I don’t work at all and she won’t be able to do this or that.
I’m stuck as to what to do.
Notes of cautuon:
Get a solicitor. Costly but worth every penny. You can do it without a solicitor as I did but it takes a lot longer. I am going back to court this time with a solicitor as she has stopped contact.
When you do your position statement not one bad word about your ex. You only state what you think will be in the best interest of the child. Let your ex say bad words about you and even slander you. Mine did and I provided evidence everytime so she just looked vindictive and a liar.
Always wear a suit/smart clothing definately no trousers.
Lastly be polite to everyone and do not shout in the court process. I remeber at East london family court I smiled at someone and helped them with something that later turned out to be one if the three judges for my hearing
my girlfriend and I are not married and we have a son now 3 months old. we have separated and gone away separate ways.
she has also gone and registered our son's birth however, my name is not on the birth certificate.
she has now moved away without informing me of her address and has taken my son with her.
Please can you help me with the following questions.
1. can I force my girlfriend to provide her address by law and how can this be done.
2. can I be added on to the birth certificate even though we are not married.
3. what are my legal rights and responsibility as a father over our son.
I have been married for over 14 years and have a 10 year old child.
I own a property with my soon to be ex wife.
I have always paid the mortgage and all the bills since our marriage.
She has been reluctant and resistant to workIng full time which has meant that i have had to work exceptionally hard doing additional hours to cover our expenses.
Will she take the house in the divorce and will I be forced to pay the mortgage even though I won’t be living there.
Can I ask for the property to be sold and expect half of the equity.
My wife is a bully insists on winning every little thing. It was frustrating that I could not even have any input to family life, I ended up try to find ways to please my wife, to try to make her happy. But nothing seemed to work.
My wife would belittle in front of the children, if I stood up for myself verbally, my wife would shout and scream at me. There was no reasoning with her. I think she just hated me.
My wife decided to sleep and live in the living room about three years ago. I wanted to go to relate but she did not. She said she wanted to get divorced, and go to Mediation. She then refused to go to Mediation and refused to discuss the matter any further.
My wife then stopped me from using the lounge and I now live in the bedroom upstairs. My wife threatens to call the police on me, and calls me a child abuser and woman hater, financial abuser at me in front of the children. I
Its very frustrating, my health has deteriorated as a result.
Last year I started divorce proceedings. My wife went to mediation for one session and then refused to go further.
She said "we can not agree on anything, I want the judge to decide"
The legal costs for me have been great. My wife is representing herself, she is very smart and she appears to know more about divorce than my solicitor. I think my wife has been planning the divorve for years.
I'm getting to understand the issues more as this divorce evolves. What gets me is that everything appears to be in my wifes favour. She wants the house paid off, and in her name, half my pension and maitenance for the children.
I said I want to have the children 50% of the time. Anything less, my wife will just make it so awkward.
My wife never gives me any credit for any of my contributions to the marriage.
I'm a firm believer in equality, but it appears the family courts do not. Is there any signs of change in how the judges apply law fairly to both genders? It feels wrong that my wife wants 70% of the assets. When she did not contribute 70% of the wealth. My wife is very intelligent degree educated and could find a higher paid job. But the court seems to ignore this aspect.
I'm just fed up with the way the system works. It does not incentivise honesty.
Is there any hope of a 50/50 resolution? Has anyone heard of this outcome being successful?
My ex and I seperated around 5 years ago. My now 7 year old son has been seeing me every other weekend and 70% of the school holidays since then, but I have an attritional relationship with my ex. My partner and I are currently building a case for custody, for many issues, surrounding his health and emotional wellbeing.
However this weekend he is here with me, and he has been bitten by his family dog. It is not serious, but he tells me it's not the first time, and also his sister has been bitten. I have asked his mother, but she has denied it, and is now ignoring my request about how the injury occured.
I am considering refusing to take him home if I do not get an explanation, but my ex is very vindictive, and every time I disagree with her on anything, she makes it difficult for me to see him.
I have parental responsibilty, and a contact order, She has a residence order.
Any advice would be welcome.
Son is 18, 19 in March, and doing college course equivalent to A levels and leaves June next year. I've paid, via a deduction from my wages (work for govt), under the old system for last 16 years. Ex wife gets child allowance of course. Son and mother don't get on, son has moved out and has a room in family friends house, rent free.
Can I ask CSA to stop the deduction now? What proof will I need of his move? Or will I have to wait until March next year when Child Benefit stops.
Thanks, Malc
This obviously builds their hopes up. The time is coming to tell the children the truth but i really dont know what to tell them.
Many thanks.
The cafcass officer in my case lied in her report and lied in court!! I questioned her in court for two hours and caught her out and proved she was lying several times but the judge was not bothered.
I would recommend that all phone conversations are taped and any meetings are taped with a covert camera....DO NOT TRUST THEM.
Every person involved in the custody battle for my children was a women (apart from my ex's barrister)!! and all had the point of view that children should be with the mother.
I had to battle a barrister, cafcass officer and a judge by myself. It did not matter what I said or proved in the end I was Just wasting my time.
DO NOT TRUST ANYONE is my advice.
however my ex has only had my son back a week and its plain to see that she wants me gone permanent, need to say I removed my son from the family home for welfare reasons and lack of care.
she is now running around trying to dig up dirt on me getting in touch with ex partners even went down the road of accusing me of historical assault which the police dropped all charges unfortunately not till after she was awarded interim.
I guess my question is could I now return to court and try and get the order lifted as it seems to me with all this dirt digging and the abusive texts that I have receiving in the space of a week, in my opinion it would appear that she has not got my sons interests at heart but is more concerened with trying to bury me.
any advice would be most appreciated thanks
So after few weeks all of a sudden on 1st on Dec 2015 while i was at work she decided to move out without telling me while i was at work and emptied the house and took the kids with her. On my return the house was empty and every room i was staring at rubbish and 4 walls.
My parents contacted the police they were called out and they saw what had happened but couldnt offer me any help as they cannot do anything about it.
So I got on with my life and I contacted her after a week that i wanted to see the kids she agreed and I have had the kids 3 times since it happened and as i am still in process of furnishing the house i havent had them overnight yet.
The last time i saw her i found out that she had the man from Romania living with her who had arrived there on Thursday the 10th of December with just a suitcase. My children have never met him before so he is a stranger. Even my wife has never met him before and this is the first time he has come to this country. I am worried about my kids with all this change in such a short time specially just before christmas.
My kids are 9(Stepson), 7 and 3 we were married for 7 years. I informed child services about a strange man coming to this country and my concerns regarding my kids and believe he is just here to use my seperated wife and kids for money.
Thanks For Any Help
What's the best way to tackle this scenario? Social services? Police? Solicitors?
I am feeling down and really need some support from someone who knows, that's you i hope.
do social services actually listen to you if as a man, you have been abused? i am really doubting that i have any chance of getting my kids back.
I am after a bit of advice and hope someone can help.
I split with my ex partner quite some years ago and it was my decision to leave.
A lot of things had happened in the 12 years that we were together and although I found it extremely hard leaving my child, I left the house that we own together (50/50). Just want to state that there was nobody else involved.
I am still on the mortgage and deeds and have got to the point that I no longer wish to rent and would like the opportunity for her to buy me out of the property so that I can have a place of my own. We have discussed this many times in the past and she has always said no. I love my child to bits, do everything that a father should do, pay regular maintenance money although I have not paid into the mortgage since I left due to not being able to afford both.
She has kept up the regular mortgage payments on her own so I am fully aware that she is able to do this on her own.
Without things getting too out of hand (as I don't want to see my child getting hurt in the process), how am I able to discuss this with it being civil.
I see my child every week through a mutual arrangement and nothing has ever been arranged through the courts.
My ex and I go through good and bad patches but I would like to get everything resolved as too much time has passed. I do not expect her to sell the property however I am fully aware that there is in excess of £80,000 pounds equity.
Any help would be most appreciated.
Thanks
Sorry I am Not good In English But Hope You All Understand My Situation 80%
I am From Pakistan 3 Years Ago i get Married With My Cousin She Is British National And I am Not She Live with Me In Pakistan Almost 2 Years But After 2 Years Her Mother Came To our Home And she Had change her Mind She Says to Me That She Didn't Want To Live with me here In Pakistan If You Wana live With Me then Come In Uk i Spuse you But You have to leave Your Family Forever And you do what i want,
you live like what i say Straight Thing Is this She want a Dog With herself Who Is me.i Disagreed, And She Go Away I have 2 sons and she kept My Both Sons With Herself Now I want To Come In Uk To see My sons And live with Them is there any possibility that i come there To live with my sons i dont Need my wife help.
Please help me if someone know lilttle bit about This case Please Please Please..................
FYI - Parents can no longer use the excuse of 'alleged' domestic violence without supporting documentation and evidence, namely a police report. Domestic violence has been a made up excuse for parents for many years and the courts have realised that this is being 'played upon'.
*Central to your C100 application is not because you want to get back at your ex - its because you want WHATS BEST FOR THE CHILD(REN)
Before applying for the C100 request to vary/amend the residence order ;
- Get your house in order. Have you got a job where the hours are flexible/part time enabling you to take proper care of your children? If not, are the social benefits you are receiving adequate and sufficient for you to pay your bills/rent/mortgage. In other words can you financially take care of your children? Is this what is best for the children? The courts look at who has the bigger property and that each child has their own room particularly if they are teenagers. Children who are aged 11 and up have very heavy bearing and say so.
- The Cafcass report is an important element of your court bundle. Your partner is already on this one and will no doubt encourage the cafcass person to get her violin out. You need to remember this person however bias, plays a key role. You will get no where by accusing your partner of things and making yourself out to be the bully and the 'bad one'. Because I reiterate, you want WHATS BEST FOR YOUR CHILDREN.
- Keep your cool. Your partner is going to claw her way out of giving you the children because she is perhaps scorned at something that went wrong in your relationship and will try to get back at you and hold the children at ransom. Its a classic and dated move. So expect this from her. Other typical lies are ; domestic violence, which I mentioned needs to be backed up by a lengthy police report/police charging you/ cautioning you, and claiming that she is depressed in which case shes shot herself in the foot.
The house we live in is hers, she bought it 5 years before we met and it was fully paid off shortly after I moved in.
I have been fully employed the entire time I've lived here and have paid bills and household expenses the whole time.
3 years ago she went back to university and we have lived solely on my income since then.
One year ago I found out she was having an affair, in our house. It took me a while to realise what was going on because her new partner is a woman, a friend who had been spending a lot of time at our house and who I thought was a friend to me too. She used to stay over quite regularly, in my ex's bed (I have slept in a separate room for many years, even while we had a physical relationship, because I snore and she is a light sleeper). I didn't think anything of that because that's something women do, right?
Eventually I realised something was bugging me and started to wonder ... after a few weeks of that, I noticed her voice recorder she uses to take lecture notes one morning as I was leaving for work after getting the kids ready for school and my ex and her friend were still in bed. I switched it on and put it behind the sofa. The next day I played it back and they were discussing the sex they had been having that morning. I confronted her and it all came out. She tried to tell me she wanted to get back together, but after a few months admitted she intended to stay with this woman.
Long story short, I decided to stay until she finished her degree. I don't want to leave the kids, they are my life and I have always done the majority of everything with and for them.
We have a family holiday booked to take them to see my family overseas for the first time, but she is threatening not to let them go!
What can I do?! Can she legally prevent me from taking the kids on this holiday if as she says she refuses to go?
Please can someone offer advice? I don't know what to do. My whole family has made plans for this trip and the kids are really excited about it. I am named on the birth certificates as their father, but I still need her permission, right?
thanks!!!
Later that day her mum messaged me and I explained it to her and she said if I sent what I wanted signing over she would get my ex to sign it, I was hesitant at first but she gave me her word (I have proof) that no one would stop me collecting him or try and keep him from me so I agreed to the next visit, fast forward to when he is due to come home next and I awake to a message stating he won't be returning and I'm not seeing him, I have now been completely stopped from seeing my Son until I agree to her agreement she has had written up which in short gives her custody and me visiting rights. I have turned up at there home and managed to see my son however was told by police if I remove him I risk being arrested for breach of peace.
I'm so lost as what to do as police, social services ect don't want to know, I don't have the money for legal help either yet I feel strongly that my ex cannot care for my some and.give him the time he deserves while doing what she is doing.
I live in wales,UK
About two months ago i found out my wife was having an affair with her employer.We have 3 children 11,5 and 5.
Currently of course we both have shared parental responsibility.
My wife wants me out of the family council house home [we are both co tennants].
Since sept 2013 i have been the main caregiver to the children as she has been working full time.
My wife has somehow managed to get legal aid and she is persueing a divorce-seperation ..Infact only last week i realised when my bills defaulted in the bank that she has behind my back set up a new claim for tax credits in her and the childrens names only,hence rendering the joint family claim that was getting paid into my bank for 11 years ended...I have no money coming in at all and my wife has organised 3 weeks off work to coincide with this to try and make me feel powerless with regards the children and their care in the home.
I am getting desperate and i have been to my doctor suffering depression.I cannot believe that my world could crumble like this in such a short space of time.
If my wife is succsesfull and it sure appears to be looking that way , where do i stand with regards living in the family home .?..will their be a court order to have me removed?..i have nowhere to go...the house is also full of items that i have bought and would be unable to take.
Obviously im hoping i can fight the evil of my wife.She has tried every trick in the book including leaving secret recording devices around the house.She also been colluding the minds of the children trying to turn them against me..Life is horrible,but at least for now im still with my children .I have put in a counter claim with the tax credit people but i hold out little hope.I have also made my own claim for legal aid now and im crossing my fingers i get it.
Is it true that if my wife wins fully parental residential custody of our three children that i will be evicted?
Is there anything I can do to stop this man from being in the presence of my children?
Thanks
My three children ask he to leave.which she did but still comes to our house when I'm at work or out. She's still with this man but wants to move back in our week about. I have 3children two of them don't want her back in the other child isn't sure can my ex wife do this after 15 months
Hi everyone, I really do not know what to do or where I go from here but I really need some help so I do hope someone can help.
I have secondary progressive multiple sclerosis and I've had it for the last seven years and I also have other lung problems which has put me into intensive care on many occasions so basically my health is not very good and it is getting worse.
I have two children aged 15 and 18 and had been married for 23 years but last year my wife left me in July because she never loved me any more and she now lives around 3 miles away from me and she is renting the property she is in.
We lived altogether for the last 12 years in South Wales and 18 months ago I was given a Disabled Facilities Grant to adapt our property and the total was just over £30,000 and this grant would need to be paid back in full if the property was sold.
I am now going through a divorce and I have agreed to place our property for sale and this is where I need help.
The property where I am is in both our names and I am unable to buy my wife out and she is also in the same position and this is the reason why the property is up for sale. But I have been told it may be possible for me to get the courts to give me permission to stay in my house because of the adaptions and I would also find it very difficult to get any social housing or to get a privately rented adapted house.
I pay the mortgage that is in both our names in full every month and I also pay everything else that we both used to pay and I have not asked her for any money.
I really do not want to employee a solicitor due to the expense and being totally honest I just do not have the extra funds to do this.
If somebody could tell me where or what I need to do that would be great, I really hate asking for help but I am settled where I live and as the property has been heavily adapted for my needs I really do not want to leave and I am so scared on where I will end up.
Many thanks for reading my posting and I really hope somebody out there can help.
Antony
I have 5 Children...all of whom I love dearly, my daughter lives with her mother and is living the same lifestyle.....I have 2 boys 14 and 15 who chose to live with me since last May and refuse to live or even spend any time with their mother.... I have a 5 year old son who is very attached to me and also wants to live with me.... when my ex found out that this was the case she rushed to get a residency order for all 3 boys and came and served me with the papers... normally I have my 5 year old over on the weekends and we had a good arrangement and very flexible, until I found out that she is getting married to this man, I offered a option where just to turn the tables round and let me keep all the boys together and she can have access to our 5 year old son whenever, totally flexible, and infact a much better option for her as she can get on with her life with her man and enjoy her time without having to worry about the kids... I understand that she is the mother however I am not taking her child of her I am just keeping all my sons under one roof where they can grow up together and remain a family at least with one of us... (with dad) ... so she has taken it to court knowing that I am unable to afford the costs of a solicitor ( however I have some help now) and she is representing herself..(without a solicitor)...I am a great father and my children will vouch for this other wise why would they be with me today. I know they love me and I know that i would bring my life to a standstill for my children... my children mean everything to me and I will never put a pricetag on them.... as she has done...
I also have vowed that I will never enter another relationship with another woman... as my children are number one...and always will be...
mother has recently gone off on a 6 weeks holiday with my daughter and possibly her new man, and I have been given parental responsibility until the next court hearing.
any advice will be helpful...and fully appreciated....I do also know that CAFCASS have been involved and possibly social services..
some people say that as I already have 2 elder sons choosing to live with me then there is a strong chance that the court may take this strongly in to consideration....others tell me that that mother has a stronger chance of winning the children, however the elder boys dont want to live with her, can they be forced ???? also does the 5 year old have a say in the matter, although being 5 he is a very bright child and very loving...
GOOD FOR THE DADS WHO WON!
I went to the Police Station when my ex wife and her boyfriend were blackmailing me and subsequently refused to let me have my Daughter for the agreed and long standing arrangement one weekend. I showed the police written evidence of threatening text messages and distressing messages from my 12 year old daughter etc. The Police Officer was totally unsympathetic and told me to go to my solicitor as it was a "domestic issue" and there was nothing they could do!
So why would they help this chap and not me?
You’re no longer living together
You know that I love you both so,
But Mum & Dad I have feelings
This I just want you to know.
I don’t like being caught in the middle
I know that you both had to part,
But all this fighting please stop!
Between you you’re breaking my heart.
I don’t want to pass on your message
I don’t want to choose between you,
I don’t want to hear you blaming each other
Please listen to my point of view.
It’s going to take time and patience
But if you’re willing to do a good deed,
Start acting in a business like fashion
Think about the things that I need?
I need a mum and a dad to love me
I need a mum and dad to care,
I need a mum and dad to be parents
I need for both of you to be there.
So please put agenda’s aside,
You’re no longer partners it’s through,
But to me you’ll always be parents
And my love must be shared between you.
Written
By
Bill Mckechnie
Separated Dad
I would suggest your wife move out and you claim for child maintenance for the children...
read some of the stories in the 'lies in separation' section of this wesite, it may not be the situation you are in just now (as it's amicable with your ex) however, many of these men were once in the same situation as you and have been left with nothing....
I wish you all the best.
Sally
La cuestión es que vivimos en la misma calle, cada uno en una esquina.. yo no quiero asistir mas a la casa de ella para ver a la nena, pregunta... puedo llevarme a mi hija en lo hs de visita a mi casa, donde vivo con mi madre y hna?. la madre no me deja retirarla de su casa. yo la ayudo económicamente y de hecho le doy mas de lo que corresponde.No se que mas hacer?
I was just looking for some advice for my partner about the Cafcass Wishes and Feelings interview with his son.
We have received the report which states that my partner's son was allowed to take a list to the interview, which had been prepared at home. Is this allowed, as everything in his list which seems to make up the whole report contains the issues that his ex wife has.
It seems very unprofessional for the Cafcass officer to be influenced by a list that could have been written by the mother.
We have the final hearing in a few weeks and my partner is representing himself. We would like to challenge the list, but are not sure where we stand with this.
Hope you can help.
My wife decided to divorce me 7 years ago when my daughter was 3. I was extremely fortunate with my circumstances because I have been able to split the care arrangements for my daughter 50/50 and have never been more than 4 days away from seeing her. My ex-wife agreed to this because it gave her the chance to do what she wanted.Two years ago my ex-wife moved in with her partner and their son was born about a year ago. I thought this would take her focus away from my daughter but the reverse has happened. My daughter asked me to pass a message on to my ex-wife 2 weeks ago as she was too scared to do it herself and I have now not seen my daughter for all this time. I texted my ex-wife and asked if we could sit down to discuss the matter and proposed that her partner and her father come along to offer their support. A few hours later I received a text informing me that I would soon be receiving a letter from her solicitors detailing 'issues' that need to be resolved and she had informed Social Services about 'the issues'. She could have saved herself a load of time and effort by informing me of 'the issues' and not involving solicitors and Social Services. If anybody gets to know of 'the issues' please let me know because I am scoobied at the moment.
Keep up the fight and don't forget your kids are the most important people in this process. Be prepared to lose the occassional battle if it means you see more of your kids in the long term.
Any advice
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