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What Happens at Family Court?

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What Happens at Family Court?

The Family Court is essentially a specialist court in which family matters are decided. These range from adoption, contact with and residence of children and the taking of children into care. Although it is still a court environment, it is less formal than other types of courts. Barristers are not in wigs and gowns, and the whole hearing may be conducted around a large table – rather like a company meeting. In other cases, the courtroom might look more like a traditional court.

Before attending your family court hearing, it's important to ensure you have completed all the necessary paperwork using our free Court Form Finder.

That said, it is always wise to be respectful to everyone you meet and to behave in a dignified fashion – regardless of how churned up you might feel inside. Those that remain calm are always seen more favourably by the courts than people who shout, are rude, or cause disruption to proceedings.

When to Get There

You should ensure you arrive at court in good time. If the court is sitting at 10.30am, you should aim to be there by 9.45am or earlier if your solicitor advises you to. When you arrive at court, don’t be surprised if there are a number of other people there, too. The court often operates in ‘lists’, which means that cases get called on in a specific order, or are called on as and when they are ‘ready’ to go on. This means that you may have a long wait until your case is called on, so take something to read.

You should make yourself known to the ‘usher’, who is usually a person wearing a black robe and holding a clipboard. If you have a solicitor, or if you’re being represented by a barrister (read our article Does Having a Good Lawyer Help? on this site), the usher should also be able to tell you if they have arrived yet and where they are.

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What Happens in Court

It is very unlikely that your case will be dealt with at the first hearing. You are likely to have to go back to the Family Court on two or more occasions. At the first hearing, the court may make directions as to the filing of statements of case, or evidence, and give deadlines for when these things need to be filed. All family court proceedings are currently held in private, and will not be publicly reported – although there are changes on the way that will allow accredited journalists to be present in court hearings and report on them. It is not possible, in these circumstances, for the media to name the parties or anyone involved in the case.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Hearings

When your hearing is effective, the applicant – i.e. the person who is making the application – will speak first. If you are represented by a solicitor, they will do this on your behalf. This opening statement basically sets out what your application is and why you are making it. Then the other side will be invited to reply and to explain why they oppose the application. The judges or magistrates will ask questions of either party to clarify certain matters, if appropriate. You may be called to give evidence, which means that you will talk about any statement you have made under oath. The other side’s lawyer will ask you questions, and the judge or magistrates may also ask you questions as well.

Attendance and Bringing Friends For Support

You should always attend Family Court hearings unless you have specifically been excused from doing so, e.g. if it is simply a directions hearing that both solicitors need to attend. You can always take a Friend or relative along with you to help you, but you must obtain the permission of the court to do this. It is worth remembering, however, that if the friend or relative that you bring to court is also a witness in your case, they will not be able to sit in on the proceedings until after they have given evidence.

The Next Step

Court Form Finder

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Court Form Finder lets you find out exactly which court forms you need for your situation. Takes 30 seconds. Try it now →

232 questions
Ask Separated Dads a Question
Desire 05/06/2022 at 1:59 pm
I have a final hearing at the family court in October, I have had a positive report from Cafcass saying the children should reside with me as I’ve been the main parent nearly 7 years. Even the school and health visitors have given a good report on me regarding as a parent, but I ex is trying to say my brother is a danger to my children l? I do not leave with my brother and my ex has raised the issue of my mental health as I was going through depression two years ago but I doNt have it anymore and they looked at my medical report also and seen I’ve not had depression since 2019 and my cleaning obsession has decreased over the last two years since I moved away from my ex who was mentally abusing me for months do you think I have a strong case ?
Maggie 17/03/2021 at 9:03 pm
If there's been a no-contact order. What age does the child have to be so nothing can be done against me? Thanks a bunch.
Bunny 05/08/2020 at 6:26 pm
my ex partner is currently serving a 9 year prison sentence for DV. We are going to the family court for custody next week.

Will he be in the same room as me or will he be in a custody box?
C.laurie 28/05/2020 at 2:22 am
@bill337.it will be only (extreme )if they turn up at my (funeral or ever come near me)I have let or go I just don’t want (dogs)near me or at my funeral .if you new the circumstances you would totally agree.they did the (unspeakable )never to be (forgiven )I am no child anymore and will never surround myself with (dogs)as a men .
bill337 27/05/2020 at 10:44 pm
@c.laurie, that is very extreme. its unhealthy to be that bitter and have so much hatred. try to let it go.
C.laurie 23/05/2020 at 10:32 pm
And I have also stated that( gordon watson, penny watson and none of the johnsons big Tyson bree laurie sam bournes are not welcome at my funeral).and will have people on the (door) if they show up and I told them to (fight) if they show up I made them (promise) because I am a f ing( laurie) we will fight at your wedding funeral or anywhere .And they would do me proud if they fought at my funeral if those bastards so up .to have those bastards at my funeral would be a insult to my character.
C.laurie 23/05/2020 at 9:57 pm
I won’t be going to court for rights ,the child in question is 16 now .i got everything of my (chest )what I wanted to say .now i realise I will pass before ever seeing the child that’s gods truth .now if her (stupid mother) reads this they are (not f ing welcome at my funeral and same for her daughter )she is 16 and She made her choice she picked her (mother and step father so f her two) .and if they do show up my brothers will kick them out that’s (gods truth ).i have stated to my family they are not welcome .(and while I am still alive they best keep they distance ).
bill337 23/05/2020 at 12:10 pm
@Worldsbestaunt - usually a court will change residency of kids for serious reasons. for example if the resident parent has been neglecting child, like hardly taking him/her to school. child is at physical risk of harm/abuse etc. how old is the child?
bill337 23/05/2020 at 12:05 pm
@Dee. have you spoken to Cafcass officer during court hearings? has a section 7 report been done? if I were you I would hire a barrister for your hearing, and challenge this silly idea of only sending cards and gifts to child.
bill337 23/05/2020 at 12:03 pm
@Hayley - your ex is being silly and unreasonable. I have court order and I have to return kids at 5pm. I would like it to be later, like 7pm, but ex not interested. there is a chance this may be settled at the first court hearing, if both of you agree. if you don't agree, then it will go to round 2 and possible 3! generally the court process can last about 4-6 months.
Dee 11/05/2020 at 8:02 pm
Can some one help me, I was seeing my kids every other week and then the mother stoped it for no reason, I had my interim hearing and the court made a order were I can only send them letter and gift, I wasn’t happy about it just because the mum said the kids don’t want any contact which was false now I’ve got a another hearing in 5 week which is long,
Does any body know what will happen in the next hearing as I want to see my kids??
Chris1983 24/04/2020 at 12:17 pm
Hi all,

Could you please tell me how to register on the forum. I tried twice but haven't received confirmation email.

Any idea how to resolve that?
Hayley 23/04/2020 at 12:46 pm
My partner has recently decided he wants to take me to court as he doesn't agree with the time which he bringing the children back, I work shifts. I have never stopped his contact he was having an affair and currently lives with the woman the only thing I have asked is that he doesn't introduce the kids until it is a serious relationship of 6 months or more is this to much ask? The return time of the children is 19:30 he keeps just turning up as and when he pleases. Has anyone else been in this situation? My kids are only 3 and 8 months old and I'm worried about how long this process will take because my 8 months old by the end won't know who he is? Can anyone give me any advice. Thanks
Pawan 17/03/2020 at 3:26 pm
My wi submitted pitition in family court under sectio ?? a after month I find some paper which is written by hir own hand writting and so many squasing found in pitition
Hinge 24/01/2020 at 11:22 pm
Violence, squashed nose, all cartlidge replaced. 3 big
ops. Damaged hip, ?
I wasn't allowed,,my opinion on
I was thinking keep our home . He had loadsa affairs for over twenty years. I wasn't allowed money.7 weeks beore he left he coerced me into signing to take out
Equity to,pay of the mortgage. All planned. He left to move in with a widow . House paid o
Off. He is £600.00 better off a month, it's taken 70 grand away from the settlement.
All coerced and planed. X




Pq
one who knows 05/09/2019 at 8:42 am
What happens? Well, if you're a father, the court and cafcass enable your ex to legally kidnap your children.

I've seen my son a week in the last year, my daughter two days in the last two months. No criminal record, no abuse, no violence. I've endured over ten years of hearings. I've got evidence of corrupt judges, evidence of unlicenced social workers who lie on oath as a matter of course. They'll give you an order that means nothing, that they themselves admit they won't enforce. It is a huge money and misery-go-round.

They will ruin your life and they will damage your children. If you haven't started yet, walk away before they drive you to suicide.
Charlie 24/08/2019 at 11:39 pm
I neex some advice on how to start off a final statement. I'm fighting for my granddaughter through courts as the LA want her up for adoption, I have failed my iva. But I have been given party status for this case & not to sure what I'm supposed to be putting in final statement. Thank you
Worldsbestaunt 15/04/2019 at 8:19 pm
Wondering if someone can give me some advice on the behalf of my brother who is the father to two children. My brother and his baby mother are in a dispute regarding residency of the children. My brother tried to go to mediation but she failed to turn up and proceeded with court. As far is I’m aware mediation is mandatory by law unless there are special circumstances for example abuse, but there was none of that in the relationship. Before the dispute my brother had his children from Friday afternoon untill Monday evening and then during the day either wed/thurs. On the evening the children were supposed to go back to their mothers there was a dispute. She told my brother that he would never see his children again so on that date he chose to keep them. The dispute happened In March and since she hasn’t contacted to see her children nor ask about them to this date. My brother would like residency of the children as she admits to struggling and not being able to give both children attention and he feels like he is the more nurturing one of both parents. My brother has proof that she she has stated this and also has proof that he hasn’t refused access. The court date is coming up soon and I think my brother could do with some advice from someone who’s been in a similar situation. Am I correct in thinking that the dispute may not be resolved that same day and that unless social services feel that the children aren’t safe (which they don’t), the cannot remove the children from my brothers care?
Doe 17/03/2019 at 5:03 pm
@john.the mother off my child was having affairs they come out and told me (.i new all a long ).its put me in a (difficult situation )when I was younger I was a fighter or thought I was .now I try and stay (out off trouble ).when I made contact with the mother to try and sort out meeting my daughter it didn’t go to (plan) .now only path left is court but she is (14 )and I was advised bye a legal representative in a meeting that it’s a bit late .so it’s difficult the mother wants to (play hard ball) so I am walking away .
John 17/03/2019 at 2:16 pm
My ex through me out of our home as she had an affair and wanted him. I moved out but I before was father and my mother to my boy. I moved back to parents where our son at 18 lived with us for 2 years 4 to 5 times a week. Moving on. I saw him every weekend till he was 5. She was very vindictive and constantly had boyfriends living with her. I had my son every holiday every weekend my days off holidays ect. 6 was ago she called me screaming down phone she didn’t want him. His bags were packed come get him which I recorded. So few days of my son so upset she filed in court I stole him. I have a lawyer been to court as defendants twice but with know one listening to my truthful side. I have now only got my son once a month till judge says I won’t keep him and to build up trust. She gave me him told lies and my boy who is a daddy’s boy is suffering. Why the courts not listening to me ????
Decker 04/03/2019 at 10:18 pm
My ex have split 6 weeks and already she has met someone else and he has met all her kids (she has kids to 3 different men) anyways she has restricted me to seeing my child once a week which is beyond a joke so I'm currently trying to set up a court hearing.
Confised18 11/12/2018 at 9:23 pm
Hoping someone might be able to advise - my partner is goi g through family courts and his ex wants me to move out of our home if he wants his kids overnight every third weekend. Thought it was strange but even the judge asked was it a possibility anyone ever heard of this or anyone ever been through this he has final hearing on Friday anyone with experience of this or anyone have any tips and advice they have now both submitted very similar arrangements but his ex wants me out of the house I find it very confusing
Libby34 02/12/2018 at 12:37 am
Hi. Me and my ex are butting heads over access to our 7 year daughter. Cut a long story short he cheated with his now girlfriend. At first I was saying our child wasn't allowed no where near his new g.f but then I realised I was being unfair on our daughter so we came to agreement once they had been together 3 months they could meet and our child could start going to their house. She has been going now for 8 weeks but is not being cared for appropriately left alone she's been left with the new g.f not being monitored when eating so coming home starving. I said I'm not happy for her to be going to their house and mentioned court so now dad is refusing contact completely untill court. I'm nervous as hell about court who is allowed in? Is his g.f or family members? As we all don't get a long
Paddy 10/11/2018 at 2:19 pm
I have 2 wonderful kids who mean the world to me and since my split from my ex in may 16 I had the kids every weekend and I paid her every month without fail for the kids and they stay 36miles away from me.. In Oct 17 I got into a relationship so I decided to take kids every weekend apart from 1 weekend a month so I can have a bit of time for myself and she started accusing me of not wanting to spend time with the kids and she even went to CSA but CSA cut her money in half and now accuses me of not providing and now lawyers are involved and an agreement was drawn up but I have a feeling she will.reject it and i f she does will.it go to court?
chriso 08/11/2018 at 9:18 pm
@duffy.its f ing difficult situation when you said the child won't leave the car because she is 12 .my daughter is 14 and i haven't seen her sense she was 5 so could imagine she would feel the same who is this[ guy }.i should have went legal years ago when i first broke up with my daughters mother .now its just weird been to long .plus i am no one to her now and i am making trouble for myself and upsetting my daughters routine with her family .when she is a adult will be great time to meet .i [forgive myself] i did the [honourable thing] and tried my daughter would realise that it was her decision not to reply so[ i will respect her wishers ]because off the time frame .i feel better for it i did the right thing .as the mother did the right thing not wanting child support after she f my whole family and i thought she loved me ha ha she just used my house as a brothel free rent for her and her offspring .
Artist 05/10/2018 at 8:33 pm
@con.yeah it’s time to go legal .i didn’t want to the mother of my daughter leaves me no other option .it was never my intention to hurt my daughters mother and play dirty tricks when we have a bad past and it could have excalated into something serous I didn’t want that but I just wanted to see my daughter alone with no interference from the mother her partner and family .
Con 05/10/2018 at 1:09 pm
Hi,

I am currently attempting to go through mediation with my ex as she has been extremely difficult to deal with and is not allowing me to have any contact. There is a high chance she will not respond to the meditation. If she choses not to respond will it definitely then proceed to court? If it does go to court what would happen if my ex chose not to show up?
SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2018 at 10:34 am
Much depends upon the circumstances surrounding your ex's application. We cannot predict what a court may decide. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. If for instance you and your ex had recently separated and he was previously the main carer, then he would stand a better chance of being granted 50-50 care than if he was not a fully hands-on dad before the split and is taking the matter to court without having good reason to.
Ab 16/07/2018 at 11:05 am
I got a letter from my ex who has his sons overnight two weekends out of four and sees them for 3 hours every Tuesday and Thursday saying he wants 50/50 residency. I have offered mediation but he said its 5050 or court. The kids have been seetled with this routine so i dont want to disrupt it. He said if we have to go to mediation it will only be for 50 50 and wont negotiate! What are my chances of it staying the way it is or do you think he will get 50/50 residency? Thanks
muz 14/07/2018 at 3:42 pm
after 5 years no contact order. being jailed breaches of a nasty restrain order , self litigant, costs etc new application. now in at court awaiting new hearing date. why do women do this, deny access after cheating
Timmy 04/07/2018 at 1:25 am
I have two daughters i went to see my girls she refused .I have been accused of punching my ex wife in the head and jumping on her back and bashing her father he is cop in small town .i was arrested and beaten in the back room off station where there is no cameras.and i was sentenced to 6 months jail released after 3.5 months .the thing is I never did what they said .but it’s on record will this affect my chance of see my girls.
Pembrey 03/07/2018 at 11:36 pm
My partner has recently filed to the courts to see if he can have more time with his children. Over a 14 night period he has them 2 nights a week. He is hoping to be granted 3 nights a week as his children visit once every other night in the week for tea and he is hoping to have a consistent week night in order for him to allow the children to engage in social activities such as Brownies and Scouts. His children have told us however that Mommy has told them that she is going to win and Daddy is only going to see them once a week. His ex is also stating he was domestically violent towards her however up until the last couple of months they had an okish relationship... I am worried sick for my partner as I have read so many negative things. What do you think the likelihood is that he will lose a night with his children and has anyone else had an accusation of DV when it never happened? The whole thing is so sad, I don't honestly know how my partner is coping.
Vic 11/06/2018 at 9:25 pm
I am not able to talk to my child and see him and I have been blocked from my sons mother as we are not married .the last time I met my child was in January 2017 and after that she’s changed her school and address and I don’t know where they live as my sons mother is on benefits and I have been given her maintainance also but last 10 months I don’t know where they are and I would like to meet my son and get my rights to see him .as I am willing to come to London as they live in London but I don’t know their address and I would like an advice regarding how much it will cost me if take legal services and how long it will take for courts proceedings to get to see my child
Alroy 04/06/2018 at 12:51 pm
Well I'm taking my ex to court for a declaration of parentage she left me after getting pregnant the last thing she said wasim pregnant get a stir done and its over. She may of cheated and I've been fighting this for a year now and I'm scared of what vile lies she will say about.... It sucks that dad's have no rights and something must be done about this as I'm fed up with fathers having no rights and losing everything because if a vile woman
SeparatedDads Editor 15/05/2018 at 9:55 am
Thanks for your comment. It is always good to hear when a non-resident parent makes a successful case. It can be a very emotional and stressful road, but if you think long term rather than short term then it help keeps things in perspective. It goes to show ' where there's a will, there is a way'. Best of luck.
Stannaq 14/05/2018 at 1:37 pm
I broke up with my ex wife due to her alleging DV, I was charged & acquitted in court.
3 yrs later after lengthy treatment for a medical condition I wanted a Child arrangement order to see my two children I was quoted £7000-£11000, which I couldn't afford. As I studied some Law in my first degree, I took on the case myself.

The ex had a specialist solicitor & barristers, I went to court & the judge was very sympathetic towards me & gave me supervised access. She was pissed as was her solicitor.

2yrs & 6 court hearing later, I have got a final order for unsupervised access & I put in for various other orders which I successfully argued and got as well.

CAFCASS have been brilliant and the judge was always on my side.

It goes to show Single dad's can win as well.
nick 13/04/2018 at 10:45 pm
I spilt up with kids mum 2014 end of
She wanted me out of joint house so she could move in her bf she be cheating on me with which she told me andmy oldist son that he raped her which found out was a lie
I took her court but court dont seem to listen to me only her even tho i stated it all about what kids want
My oldist wants to c me100% as his my twin and were very very close but not seen him since jan last year for 20min when he explained how he got bruses on inner arms and inner cornersof lower knee caps
Annie 30/03/2018 at 6:53 am
My husband wants a divorce we have a child together. Who is nearly 8 for the pass 7and half years my husband has been in prison twice , mental health unit three times and rehab also coming back and forward when he wants from Birmingham as I live in London. Do not get on with his mother as she did not want us to get married. Also domestic violence , she dbeen on child protection and under safe. Got two other kids who he does not have contact with and a record as long as my two arms. Can I say he can see he in a contact centre not in birmingham.
SeparatedDads Editor 05/03/2018 at 11:43 am
You are obviously struggling. Therefore, please seek professional help. It will help you to come to terms with your emotions and feelings. Please also
chris 03/03/2018 at 4:15 pm
I am going take your advise and see my doctor about counselling .to process my thoughts about my? X sleeping with my uncle ,brother,and others and not see my child .because i am not coping at all .Sorry for taking up so much space On your site over last few months .i realize now i am sick now .i will get professial help.sorry again
Chris 03/03/2018 at 11:24 am
You honestly burnt the wrong man .you think I am like your other exs think again .think long hard about what you are doing .because what comes around goes around .if you think for minute I am anything like Gordon or whatever guy you with think again .i plans for you .
Goanna 03/03/2018 at 2:51 am
3years ago my child was removed due to domestic violence for 2 yrs of that time I was denied contact with my daughter the only way was through the post mailman letting my daughter knowing I loved her my daughter is now residing with her paternal aunty on fathers side contact has been stopped again there was also an order put in place for contact what can I do
Dantheman 12/01/2018 at 2:33 am
Hi I have just been to my first hearing at court to gain contact to be able to see my daughter. It got adjourned while I gather some information and reports of my dr and also organisations I am working with, I have also been asked to undertake a drugs test as in the past I have took drugs now and again and also smoke cannabis which I stopped last August. But the mother of my child doesn't believe that I have. I have looked about at costs for drugs tests which are out of my price range as not in work at the moment and also only have 3 weeks to gather the information. I was just wondering wether there is any other way to get it done or cheaper, even help with the costs. If any has any ideas I would be really grateful.
TaBV Editor 07/12/2017 at 3:42 pm
@Beehive bun - if you want to make sure you get a fair hearing then yes, otherwise the court can decide without you.
Beehive bun 07/12/2017 at 12:58 pm
Hi I know of a court date that has been set for a hearing for access to my children, I am representing myself but as off yet I haven't received any direction from the court to attend. Do I have to attend because I can't get the day off work!?
SeparatedDads Editor 13/04/2015 at 12:36 pm
@paul burns - I am sorry to hear you are not coping well with the separation, which is understandable. Have you applied for an interim contact order? The interim contact order allows you to have contact with your children until a full court hearing resolves the matter one way or another. If your ex shows no opposition to interim contact, it can be resolved without a court appearance. What you and your solicitor will have to do is remind the court at a “directions hearing” of the length of time before the full hearing will occur and which may be detrimental to your relationship with your child. In most instances, the court will allow some limited contact between you and your children in the interim, although it’s unlikely to be “staying contact” (allowing the children to stay overnight with you) if the mother objects. She might also demand supervised contact, and the court will generally accede. This all seems heavily weighted towards the mother, even though you might have done nothing wrong. However, it’s a case of the court opting to be cautious. You may find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful. If it is the slightest consolation, you are not alone, there are many dads going through exactly the same issues. On the Facebook page there is a lot of constructive advice from dads who have been through it and come out the other side. I hope this helps.
Paul 05/12/2017 at 3:14 pm
Hi I'm asking this question on behalf of my son he and his ex partner are due to appear this comming Monday in court for an appeal however his ex partner is trying to delay this by saying she is unable to attend court as she is unwell with all the stress of the proceedings and my son has been told that he will still have to pay his barristers cost of £1800 if the court needs to postpone can the appeal still go ahead with one party attending
Frankie 30/10/2017 at 10:21 pm
Hi I'm in the process of getting my parental responsibility for my beautiful daughter who I've not seen now for four months, she's five months old, I got acquitted for domestic violence but I've got a non molestation order against me for the same reasons as her original statement, I didn't have the funds to fight this in court because I wanted to use my money to fight for a residence or contact order in court, now my question is can my ex use the same tactics in court and bring up the charges of domestic violence against me or will the court dismisse them??? I've done nothing wrong and I just want to be with my daughter
MattR Editor 31/10/2017 at 3:08 pm
@DARREN - can you put your caps-lock off when you ask a question. You'll have to attend mediation first before you'll be allowed to apply to court. If your ex turns you down then you can apply to court. You're doing the right thing. The court will then decide whether you can see the kids, she'll have no say.
DARREN 29/10/2017 at 8:46 pm
HOPING FOR SOME HELP.
I HAVE HAD REGULAR ACCESS TO MY TWINS (BOY & GIRL) AGED 6, ALTERNATE SUNDAY,AT THERE RESIDENCE DURING THE DAY WITH NO FREEDOM TO SPEND QUALITY TIME AWAY FROM THERE HOME UNTIL RECENTLY. IM ALLOWED TO TAKE THEM IN THE LOCAL AREA IE THE PARK,PLAY GYM. THIS HAS BEEN THE "ARRANGEMENT" FOR 3 YEARS NOW AND I ASKED TODAY FOR MORE ACCESS AND WORLD WAR 3 ERUPTED,INC HER FAMILY. UPSETTING THE CHILDREN SO I LEFT TO PROTECT THEM. THE MOTHER REPEATEDLY TELLS THE CHILDREN LIES TO INFLUENCE THEM INC. MY OTHER CHILDREN ARE NO RELATION TO THEM, THEY ARE NOT SIBLINGS, THAT WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP ENDED " YOU CHOSE TO LEAVE US", "ITS ALL YOUR FAULT".ALL I WISH IS TO SEE MY CHILDREN ON A REGULAR BASIS AT MY HOME WITH NO MALICE BETWEEN US AS PARENTS FOR THE CHILDREN TO HAVE BOTH OF US TO BE AMICABLE FOR THERE SAKE. I AM APPLYING TO THE COURT TOMORROW TO ACCEPT A CONTACT ORDER AND DOING AS MUCH RESEARCH AS POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE WHAT THEY NEED TO MAKE THE APPLICATION. THERES NO ORDERS, NO REASONS FOR THIS ORDER NOT TO BE GRANTED.THE ONLY WORRY I HAVE IS THE MOTHER IS BITTER AND DOESNT LIKE THE FACT I MOVED ON.
Clint 23/10/2017 at 10:22 pm
Hi my ex stopped me from seeing my daughter the last time I saw her was the 29 June 2017 I tried going for mediation she contacted the centre then nothing was heard from her, so I had to get a solicitor and start things rolling this was on the 24 July 2017.
I live in England my ex in Scotland so I contacted a solicitor in Perth I went to my solicitors for the first meeting, now everything is done by email and phone calls I've filled all the forms I'm getting legally aid my solicitor mentioned it would cost around £2000 I've talked to my solicitor four times by phone and she's talked to my niece ( who used to babysit for my daughter )once, and have had 3 emails the first phone call from my solicitor went ok but at the end she mentioned that this will probably cost around £10,000.
I've never been in this position before or used solicitors but I find this strange. It's now the 23 October 2017 I've had no word from my solicitor or any body. I've not seen my daughter for 4 months now I used to have regular contact and id have her overnight since she was born she is 3 in November .
I don't know what's going on and I'm worried about phoning my solicitor and don't seem like I'm hassle information her any advise would be appreciated
Thanks
Lucyhannah95 18/10/2017 at 11:16 am
My sister has been taken to court by her ex partner 2 times now and he is taking her to court again in November. He hasn’t abided by any of the rules that was given to him. How many chances does he get? He don’t pay anything to the child and he was stated he had to see him in a contact centre, any advice please
deee 08/10/2017 at 8:58 pm
My partner threatens me that he will take my children to court to state (PR) parental responsibility if I don't stay with him, he is disabled and suffers with a few conditions. I on the other hand am stable and a loving mother and no longer deal with the threats Can someone answer my question? What will happen if this matter was taken to family courts.
SeparatedDads Editor 28/09/2017 at 12:03 pm
It's a tricky question to answer without knowing the full circumstances. However, as a rule, if the party who does not attend is the respondent, the court may proceed with the hearing in that parent's absence if it is satisfied that the respondent received reasonable notice of the hearing and if the circumstances of the case justify proceeding with the hearing. However, if the court cannot proceed with a hearing, it can penalise the respondent by ordering them to pay the other party's costs of the hearing and or order them to attend court at another date.
Mama bear 27/09/2017 at 5:56 pm
My son is going to court as he hadn't seen his children since February he's tried everything . Supervised contact she didn't respond mediation she didn't respond and hes representing himself as we can't afford a solicitor. The date is this Friday 29/9/17 if she again doesn't turn up what will happen ? As paying out for court etc is expensive.
Chez 10/09/2017 at 12:15 pm
My husband is telling me that if i carry on with divorce that he will be my sons main carer allowing me to see him but he will make all decisions.I have not be able to find another job as Family support worker since being made redundant.my main role has been mother and have just given up my lace at uni as he threatened to quit work and take over the job that I was doing at home . I feel it's emotional abuse. My husband works hard from 7 until7 own business and earns a great deal . I believe it's a case of financial control . I have no money but savings for my car and been told I can't claim benefits. I have done all appointments school runs holiday care and care for my son and am devastated but scared as he tried to stop his ex wife from having residence. His two children come here aged19 and 16 every other weekend I cook and clean for them they don't not speak to me for approx four years. Will the court remove my son from my care as he has all the finances job etc.
SeparatedDads Editor 07/09/2017 at 9:55 am
It is unlikely a court will let your friend's ex apply before mediation is explored first. Mediation is a way of trying to resolve such issues before the matter goes to court.
Georgia 06/09/2017 at 2:02 pm
My friends ex wants to take him to court to have his children every other weekend but he works every weekend as he is in hospitality. He has them 3 days a week already and will lose his job if he has to have them on the weekend. Can his ex take him to court about it and who would win? He is rather worried about not being able to provide and live if he has to have them every other weekend
Tom 11/08/2017 at 8:37 pm
My ex keeps trying to force me to court about Child Maintenance. What would happen if I just carried on with usual transfers and didn't show up to the audience?
MaB 31/07/2017 at 11:33 am
I've married in customary law,my husband lost a job recently and took his pension to spent with girlfriends, he Neva sleeps in our house anymore and I'm afraid we might be thrown out cos the bond wasn't paidup ,can I take him to court for me to have the share of his money to raise our two little kids age 10 n 7
SeparatedDads Editor 07/07/2017 at 11:18 am
If you have proof your ex has informed you she will not turn up, then you should present this to your solicitor or the court as evidence. The court may adjourn the case, but it can also decide to issue a contact order in her absence. The contact order will come with a warning that she has to keep to the order or she will be in contempt of court.
Ryanm 06/07/2017 at 4:59 pm
I have filed a court application to take my ex to court for proper arrangements with our two children. I attempted to set up mediation but she would not attend and has told me if I take her to court she simply won't show up. Will the courts do anything to ensure she must turn up?
SeparatedDads Editor 04/07/2017 at 11:19 am
You are correct when you say that smoking cannabis will not help your case. Attitudes to cannabis vary and occasional use may not be considered detrimental to a contact application but most judges do not ‘approve’ of any illegal drug use, especially hard drugs. This does not necessarily mean that the court will not order some form of contact and it can order drug testing where it deems appropriate. The 'anything I could do' would be to stop smoking cannabis so that it does not affect your relationship with your child and your application for contact. The court will always put what it thinks is in the best interests of your child first when making any decision with regards to contact or access. Before awarding access/contact, the court will also want to be sure that it thinks you as a parent does too.
seanp25 03/07/2017 at 4:47 pm
I've separated with my ex last year she is refusing me contact as I smoke some cannabis most weekends it isn't anywhere near my home or my son ever, i work full time and have my own home I've never been violent never raised my hand, the break up was quite bad from both party's I've apologised tried to be as nice as possible but she still refused most likely it will go to court after her refusing mediation and contact centers, i know the cannabis wont help my case but it doesn't affect my day to day life or how I care for my child, i was just wondering what your opinion on my situation would be and if there's anything I could do?
SeparatedDads Editor 08/05/2017 at 2:51 pm
You cannot force an unwilling parent to have contact with their child, neither would a court attempt to force this.
Shell 08/05/2017 at 12:17 am
Not a father but a mam, can i tske my 5 yr old daughters dad to court and force him to have Contact with her? He lets her down so many times and i cant temember the last time he seen her, must be at least 7 weeks. He arranged with me and our daughter that he would pick her up from school one time...and never...i had to run down there 20 mins after school finished to pick my heartbroken daughter up. He rings now and again and tells her he'll pivk her up and she can sleep at his house but never shows, thetes alwsys some excuse.
SeparatedDads Editor 02/05/2017 at 12:50 pm
I'm afraid US law is very different to UK family law. If you are based in the US, we cannot answer your question because UK laws don't apply.
SeparatedDads Editor 02/05/2017 at 12:12 pm
If your ex doesn't attend the meeting, then this will give you the green light to apply to court. If you have been seeing your son regularly up until recently and there have been no recent 'domestic; issues then the court is likely to reinstate access. Once the order is in place, both you and your ex will have to fully adhere to it.
MissP 01/05/2017 at 11:12 pm
My son's child's mother passed away 4years ago. Every since the day of the funeral the maternal grandparent has been reluctant to allow my son to have a relationship with the child who will soon be 5. They live in another state. Our families are connected so on occasions they have come to our state. They don't stop? him from talking or holding the child but they keep close guard as if my son might take the child off. Which he might would but don't.
Now the maternal grandmother has petition the court to have my son turn over his rights. According to reading if he doesn't have do so he's subject to pay for all the legal fees associated with their petition.
We don't have money for a lawyer or any other legal representation but a family court date has been set for him to answer to the petition.
What can we expect to take place and what is his rights.
Thanks
Mattblues90 01/05/2017 at 7:35 pm
Looking for some advice please. My ex has stopped me from seeing my son. We have a very volatile past. I've never laid a finger on her but we've argued and the police have been called and me being charged with threatening behaviour. Anyhow that was a couple of years ago and things had been fine and we had moved forward with things. However my ex has met a new guy and informed me that I needed to contact courts in order to gain access to my son. She seemed to think that I wouldn't and I left her for a few weeks to calm down and tried talking to her but all of it fell on deaf ears. I've got a meeting with mediation on the it 8th of this month, she has no interest in turning up so what is the process after the meeting?
help 04/03/2017 at 4:41 pm
Went to court yesterday my ex wants to change my so surname amongst other things.

Agreed too a few said no to others.

Parental rights were never brought up before in any correspondents from either side so I never looked into it.

I might add the represented myself in court.

At the interview before the court I was asked about giving up my parental rights, I asked what does that mean, she said that I would not be able to take my son out of school etc. So I said ok if it makes things easier.

Will have to go back to court after my son is interviewed in 13 weeks.

After I got home I looked up parental rights I was horrified to find out what I gave up.

It's Saturday today as im writing this so can't do or call any solicitors until Monday.

My question is does everything that happens in court naw in effect or can I go back to them and basically change my mind regarding parental rights.

I have received any documents from the court after the hearing as yet.

Help I don't now what is the right way out of the mess.
J88 15/02/2017 at 8:59 pm
Hi

I need some advice so i have a 4 month old daughter i havent been with my ex partner since the beginning of pregnancy i found out when i got pregnant he had taken cocain he addmitted this to me and he got very nasty from then he didnt contact me through my pregnancy untill i was 6 months pregnant where he demanded a letter to state i was living with him saying it was to help him move i refused as i wasnt prepared to lie my daughter was born and i said to him to come to my family home near enough everyday for the first 2 weeks he came for an hour he held her but never fed or changed her hos behaviour started to show signs of aggression and the same signs as when i left and he was taking drugs he fell asleep on my daughter on the sofa to which i asked him to leave and return when he was more fit and not so tired
He then stopped messaging me again which i said he should or could do everyday to ask the welfare of our daughter he went missing from here for 2 weeks then demanded for me to visit his home because i wanted to do the right thing i went upon arrival his flat was terribly unhygenic the dog had messed on the sofa it and i found a needle with red liquid to which he said was vitamin b shots he verbally abused me and got very nasty whilst holding the baby so i said i wouldnt go again and in the best interest of our daughter contact should remain at my home as this wasnt suitable for a baby. His dog also has attacked another dog unprovoked and i cannot take that risk he demanded we visit his family which i had no problem with but asked it it could be a week or 2 after he asked as i just had our baby and was going through some complications after birth in the end we went and he fell asleep at the wheel with me and my children in the car.
He has refused to see my daughter in nearly 10 weeks now and given up messaging hes never contributed with milk nappies etc and ive never asked for money but 2 weeks ago recieved an email saying he is taking me to court this is so stressful and i dont no what to do i also found questionable documents which seem to be fraudulent he has written in the email i have stopped his family seeing the baby this isnt true and have planned to meet with them yhis week we dont live in close distance upon agreement he isnt there as our relationship should remain seperate to keep it healthy his mother is a social worker and is abusing her position by using her legal status to help him what do i do please help? He has no experience with children ive offered to show how to make bottles change nappies etc but he has no interest its been 10 weeks now hes been absent what do i do i spoke to a solicitor who said i shouldnt do anything
Any advice would be appriciated
Bubba Bear 08/02/2017 at 9:48 pm
Hi there , my son is now 3 years old and I've not been with his mother since his birth. I've had sporadic access until a year ago. . I was then granted to see him every Sunday for 8 hours...after 8 months my access was abruptly stopped with out any notification. . . It has come to my knowledge that she believes that I'm incapable of looking after him . . He has never gone home , unfed, dirty , distressed..
When I took him out with my new partner and her child ,we always went somewhere exciting for the children . As time went by certain comments were thrown at me saying she was not happy.
Come last October I received a text message saying I'll never see him again...
So I have just filed a C100 and want to know what happens next as I am doing this on my own back as I can not afford a solicitor even though I'm in full time employment.
Can any body please give me a bit of idea or help of what I should expect ,as I know she will ignore all correspondence.

Cheers
SeparatedDads Editor 31/01/2017 at 12:10 pm
You can apply via a C100 form for contact and also fill in a C4 form which is an application to the courts for a disclose for a child's wherabouts. This means the courts can put a trace on your child to allow you to bring the matter to court for access.
moremilkdaddy 30/01/2017 at 5:58 pm
hi, i dont know where my ex has moved to. she told a court previously that she has no problem with me seeing the kids. since i was there from birth and have a strong bond, however. she finds any issue to stop me once the butter melts we all suffer!!!
how do i go about getting her to court? will the court do this work for me? thanks... spidermans dad:)
SeparatedDads Editor 18/01/2017 at 12:23 pm
I am sorry to hear this. I will put your post on our Separated Dads Facebook page to see if any of the other dads can help you with advice, as many have been through the same or similar situations. Please refer to the Separated Dads Facebook page for your answers. I hope they help.
ccc 17/01/2017 at 8:46 pm
I am attending the first court hearing Feb 2nd for my daughter who I have never seen. She is 4 months old and the mother cut all contact after leaving without reason or explanation when pregnant. Cafcass called today and it all seemed quite positive...the mother did not answer her Cafcass call. She has refused mediation and cut all contact. Cafcass mentioned that I may only get to see my baby for a couple of hours alongside my family initially. Anyone have any experience of this? How long did this last? When will I get my requested time with her? There is no violence, dodgy pasts etc cafcass have told me I came up clean as a whistle. Any help greatly appreciated!
SeparatedDads Editor 17/01/2017 at 2:12 pm
I'm afraid there is nothing you can do to force your ex as a non-resident parent to have his children.
Donna 16/01/2017 at 11:24 pm
My x is had his children 6 nights a month but when he got married his wife said she would kick him out if he didn't tell me he could only have them 4 nights a month because they get in the way of them going out partying and living a free life, now he only wants them 3 nights a month, there's no reason he can't do more and he's missing out and so are his kids, what should I do?
SeparatedDads Editor 10/01/2017 at 2:18 pm
I'm afraid it is impossible to predict as it very much depends upon how busy the court system is and other variables. Plus, we do not have a answer to your second question - the REMO unit may know better.
SeparatedDads Editor 10/01/2017 at 10:56 am
So far you have been going about trying to sort out issues in the correct way, which generally makes for an amicable agreement. However, you have both obviously come to an impasse. A solicitor's letter highlighting your ex's rejection of mediation, unwillingness to co-operate and your own attempts to try to resolve the matter amicably may do the trick, and if your solicitor emphasises that if she has not replied by a certain date, you will most definitely apply to court. While court is seen as a last resort, if a stalemate situation like this occurs, you have no choice really than to take it further, if you want solid care/access arrangements in place. You don't say how old your kids are, but if they are are over age 11, they will be able to have a say. Hopefully, a resolution will come occur before it goes to court.
Betty 09/01/2017 at 10:24 pm
Hi

Currently going through the remo unit for breach of a maintenance order , my ex lives in the uk and I'm in Ireland .

How long does it take to get a court date in the uk?

Does the summons for court be sent by registered post?

Thanks
SimonK 09/01/2017 at 12:54 pm
I am currently in a situation where i am likely to be taking my ex wife to court to sort out the child arrangements. We have been split for over a year and agreed at a round table meeting in May 16 with our solicitors to child arrangements for the remainder of the year and also agreed to meet again towards the end of the year to sort out the arrangements for 2017, this subsequent started to happen and I requested that we attend family based mediation which i attended and she rejected and subsequently have nothing in place agreed for 2017. My solicitor wrote to my ex's solicitor the week before xmas stating that we need to get something sorted sorted before the 9th January. We have heard nothing and I am now in the process of preparing the C100 to apply to court. I just need some advise as i feel so frustrated the children want to have their say but can't and i think she's scared that they are going to say that want to live with us equally. We both have the facilities to do that and live within 900 meters from each other.
Dave 16/12/2016 at 6:17 pm
It does depend on the court and the judge. But be prepared to go into a twilight zone of corrupt admin court staff, man hating militant feminist judges, dishonest solicitors and straight in your face open persecution for being a father or simply a man. You will feel you are in a modern day witch trial. The evidence will be made up, laughably so, and taken seriously. You will even be threatened by the judge with penal orders.If you're lucky you'll come out of it sane and still with some money in your pocket. If youre unlucky banged up with 100s of other innocent blokes and stripped clean of everything. It all really hinges on the lady in question and how greedy, selfish and vindictive she is. You will never be able to drive last a lrison again and think theyre all guilty in there. Good luck.
SeparatedDads Editor 16/12/2016 at 11:46 am
I'm afraid it is difficult to predict whether a court will allow you access as much will depend upon the circumstances. However, the judge has to ensure that if you are representing yourself, you are not disadvantaged in the proceedings (i.e if your ex has representation). Self-litigation works well if you as the litigant-in-person prepares a good case and keeps the main focus in mind, that the court process is not about what is in the best interests of them, but what is in the best interests of their children. If the court thinks that your trying to build a relationship with your kids will benefit them, then it will only let your past affect the present if it feels it may impact negatively on your children currently or in the future. Despite what you may have heard or experienced otherwise, the courts do want non-resident parents to have a relationship with their children. Therefore, if you do not have a relationship with your children currently, then what have you to lose by applying.
Tolley29 15/12/2016 at 7:50 pm
I was sentenced to prison for 9 years, I served 4 and a half. I'be been out of prison 3 years and i now want to see my 5 children. I haven't got money for a solicitor. If i represent myself will i get contact? I have charges on my ex of domestic violence 7 years ago, will this effect me?
Taz 08/12/2016 at 11:35 am
My ex wants me to see a psychiatrist and her solicitor has put in a Part 25 Application. It has a lot of incorrect and false medical allegations. I have all the relevant medical letters to oppose the application. How do I oppose it? Do I write a statement and send it to the court with my evidence?
Dave 07/12/2016 at 11:54 pm
I am being denied access to my Son due to a disagreement over parenting. I have had him stay with me every weekend for the past 5 years. This has now been refused and all contact broken off with no meaningful communication. I applied for access via the Family Court and now have a Hearing date. My ex says she will not attend and I'll never see my Son again. Two questions please, 1 . do I need to prepare any further evidence or documentation for the first hearing.
2. What happens if she continually refuses to attend? Thanks for any help
SeparatedDads Editor 05/12/2016 at 10:52 am
I'm afraid we cannot really answer this question as it is impossible to predict what a court may decide. Plus, we are hearing only one side of the story, and your parents will obviously have their own reasons for wanting a relationship with your child, which may differ from your interpretation.
Mac 04/12/2016 at 10:24 am
Hi there. My parents have taken me and my ex partner to court for access to our 1 year old child. We always encouraged contact but refused to allow them to have our child as they have done nothing but try and take over and they hate my ex partner.They have also threatened us repeatedly and harassed us non stop. They do not want me or my ex partner around. Our child has no relationship with them and simply does not know who they are. My ex partner offered them contact but they refused and took us to court for unsupervised contact. My mother is simply out of control. She always wanted a little girl but never got one. She is now trying to take our child. She made a promising threat that she will not stop until she has our child living under her roof. We attended court and were ordered to attend mediation. We went and everything seemed to go ok. We allowed them to have a couple hours contact with our child within the contact centre. That soon stopped again when we found out they were trying to use the contact centre to build a relationship woth our child to use against us in court to then try and get our child unsupervised. We then offered them an ultimate. They either see our child with us present every weekend or they are getting nothing. They refused and stated they would fight our rights as parents in court. That they should be able to have their grandchild when ever they want.They went from not seeing our child for 9 months. To being offered to see her every weekend. They refused. That proves they don't just want contact. They are trying to rule us out as parents. We are back in court in a month and I was wondering if the court would take a very dim view on this or if the court will give them what they want, unsupervised contact? We will appeal if that happens. They are a bad example to our child and this would just be the beginning of what they promised.
Snowy10 29/10/2016 at 9:40 pm
My partner has 2 children (9 & 10) with his ex. They have split up 5 years ago. We see them alternate weekends and 1 night in the week. This total 5 nights in 14. We split half terms, and holidays 50/50, although Christmas is always tricky. His ex has always decided the access, times they are returned. In the early days his work was unreliable and we sometimes had to change days at short notice. We always agree if we can to swap when she requests. We pay maintenance as demanded, not discussed, and also provide half towards school uniforms and trips. The children now want to split their time equally between us and Mum, and have asked us to discuss this. We have said we will try for an extra night and build from there. She has refused and told the children the law is that children always live with their mum and only see dad a few times a week. We cannot afford the court process, and fear that she would try and delay matters as much as possible. Is this statement she has told them true, and are we legally able to request more time with them?
SeparatedDads Editor 27/10/2016 at 1:48 pm
To see all three children (including his stepchild), your partner would have to either suggest mediation to his ex, or apply to take the matter to court (if his ex is denying access and won't consider mediation) and prove that he has been significantly involved with his stepchild as much as he has his own. The court will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of the children regardless of whether your partner is on the birth certificate or is not the biological father. However, with a stepchild is more difficult, as he would have to show that his stepchild has played an important part in his/her life. Children are asked their opinion from an age when they can rationally form an opinion. Age 11, is considered a significant age, and by the child reaches the age of 17, unless there is a good reason why the child should not see a non-resident parent, then the court will more or less take the young person's view on board.
Sabsy 26/10/2016 at 9:49 pm
Partner has 2 kids with his ex,he's only named on 1 of birth certificates.has a step son from same ex.how could he see all 3 of the children?he's got another 2 ex partners with other children eldest 17 years old.what age do children have the say if want to see father.where do we start with any access to see the children?many thanks
Fabregas 23/10/2016 at 11:06 am
hi I need some help I have an ex who keeps using my children as weapons i have them every weekend also have them over night every few weeks my ex does not like my girlfriend and always uses the kids by stopping my access where do I stand I'm after a writing agreement to stop my ex having full control
mandymoo 22/10/2016 at 8:46 am
Hi could you advice please , I'm asking for my son , he and his sons mum haven't been together for 9 years my grandson is now 11 , my son as had contact and seen my grandson regular for all these years , even going to see a solicitor and getting the agreed access in writing, signed by both my son and his ex and the solicitor, this was in 2011 , this agreement as not been broken by son , who as actually had my grandson a lot more , agreed by his mum , he last saw my grandson last Sunday took him to school on Monday,went to pick him up on Friday the following week as he always does , my grandsons mum had been to school early and took him , my son tried to contact her without success, so phoned the police and they spoke to his mum , who said she wasn't happy about him going his dad's as she didn't feel he was safe , without reason , without anything to back this up , no reason at all , apart from my grandson told me 4 weeks ago that his mum was moving in with her new boyfriend and he didn't want to go , I had a word with mum and it ended up in a argument, what I want to know is will he have to apply for mediation or apply straight to court , seeing as a access aggreement is already in place and hasn't been been broken by my son . Thanks .
eladc 10/10/2016 at 9:10 am
I have been divorced for 3 years and have by 2 boys 2 nights per week and every other weekend. I am very commited to regular contact and quality time with them. I am now in a new relationship and looking at moving in together. The issue is the distance away from the boys. I have proposed one night per week and an extra day each weekend I have them so the amount of contact is the same. The issue is my ex works away a lot and says it wont work for her and that she will take me to court to force me to have the boys to support her career..... can she do this?
SeparatedDads Editor 07/10/2016 at 9:40 am
I'm afraid we can't advise on this as it is outside our remit. I hope you manage to sort it out.
htrix 06/10/2016 at 7:55 am
My partner is in court in just under two weeks' time regarding the shared custody of his two children. The final hearing was originally scheduled for mid-september. I booked (and paid for) a holiday abroad for the two of us, thinking the case would be done and dusted by then; however, cafcass requested more time to complete their report, meaning that the court date was delayed and is now clashing with our non-refundable holiday. My partner has tried to contact his solicitor about this countless times to try to rearrange it, leaving several messages, but to no avail- she hasn't called him back. I'm having a total meltdown about this- the court date is scheduled to take place in 11 days. I booked the holiday in good faith- how were we to know cafcass would request a delay? He's going to visit his solicitor in person today and will also call the court, but is it too late now for a postponement? It's not his fault that the court date was moved, or that his solicitor doesn't return calls.
Jaijai 05/10/2016 at 6:19 pm
My ex is adamant i cannot see my daughter more than i have been. we have come to an agreement where i have my daughter a day off in the week and every other weekend unless i have to work Sunday. i have consulted mediation but i think it may go to court she keeps saying i will see my daughter less because i dont work set days she is saying the court will take away that day in the week and i will only get every other weeekend?is this commonly true?i support my daughter i take care of her i want to see her more but her mom is contantly slating me and saying i cant have her because she sees her side of the family or has social life plans. Any ideas on how cases like this tend to go in court?
arc36 13/09/2016 at 2:53 pm
I have separated from my ex-wife now for over four years and we have a son together and shared responsibility - I have been paying child maintenance now since the day with broke up and i have my son over night stay 168 nights a years (works out about 3 nights a week plus additional days). My ex can be very adamant and controlling and is now asking to provide more monies for child care, more than the child service have calculated. requested i provide clothing and also provide cost to school club - I told her i cant provide this? due to my circumstances living as a single parent providing a roof over our heads - we do intend to have conflicts and bitterness between us (am sure this happens in all cases?). Now that i have raised a dispute about our sons care - she has now told me i can not see my son and she don't want the child service money. Am sitting ere now writing this with a thousand things going through my head. I know i have a right to see my soon and the solution is 'Court' - but i don't have court cost money? can you please help me?
SeparatedDads Editor 31/08/2016 at 11:23 am
If you kept your son without your ex's consent then the judge will want your son at the court should the decision be made to return your son to his primary carer. Regardless of whether your son wishes to live with you, the court will still make a decision about what it feels is in his best interests.
jonsey 30/08/2016 at 2:30 pm
Urgent advice needed please. On Friday I was served via the court Bailiff. My ex went to court. A without notice hearing. She filed a C100 and a C1A. The judge has ordered me to court, tomorrow. the 31 st. The order states I have to bring my son with me but have someone care for him whilst I appear in front of the District Judge. Any idea why he has ordered me to take my son please. I retained him a few weeks ago as he wants to live with me.
Any advice be great. Thank you
Eeyoresdad 28/08/2016 at 2:23 pm
Hi. I am due in family court on thursday. I have no idea what is going to happen. It is for a "list for directions". She has served me a C1a and a C100 prohibited steps order. This was done without notice as she sadly thought i would take the children from the childminder who could not have stopped me as i had parental responsibility (she knew i could have stopped it!)
What is a list for directions and what am i walking into? Any info would be gratefully appreciated. Many thanks.
SeparatedDads Editor 08/08/2016 at 11:02 am
We wish you every success.
BobbyR83 07/08/2016 at 10:24 am
Just a quick update - I'm in court Wednesday - to all parents - think of the kids always - mine logged everything from the beginning and this has helped now we're in fort. I expect a good result. This has now cost £5500 and this is money I would rather have spent on my family but the ex is so bitter - she has t stated wanted children or providing for children but appears to be on a hate campaign against me. Currently showing nothing towards the children. Hopefully all will be done this week and the result will be good and we can put this behind us.
SeparatedDads Editor 02/08/2016 at 1:43 pm
Regardless of whether your ex has made you out to be a monster, the most important content will be what Cafcass recommends. The court is not interested in accusatory remarks unless backed up. It is interested in what it thinks is in the best interests of your child/children. The courts are confronted by lies on a daily basis and it is accustomed to establishing whether the lies are deemed false or true; anyone can fling an accusation but proving it is more difficult and if your ex can't prove what she has said, then it is likely to be thrown out.
Postman 73 01/08/2016 at 9:12 pm
I have received the report off cafcass
The ex has made up lies about me in her report and went on to talk about other things in the relationship that has happened
Also about my new partner
I only put what I want off the court in my statement
We're I have a lot of other things to say about her as a person but it is to late to do anything about it
Just letting people know on the sight to put everything that has ever happened
As she has made me out to be a monster
BobbyR83 10/07/2016 at 9:14 pm
Just to add, I asked for child maintenance - I get less than £20 a week for 2 teenagers, no help towards their lives, uniforms etc, I don't keep them away from their mum/ family - she cheated, she didn't turn up for visits, she blocked her own kids off Facebook etc. The kids have chosen what they want and don't want. I seem to be taking the flack for all of this - I never caused the situation, I've moved on, but I have to keep being reminded of her as she clearly don't have a life, or respect for her children.
BobbyR83 10/07/2016 at 8:55 pm
Hi....after some advice / comments ASAP - I had relationship difficulties with my partner, she cheated back in 2013 with a young lad from her college, after some poor advice and pushing from friends we nearly ended up getting married in 2015, however she again cheated - this time with a 50yr old again from college - she always liked the finer things in life and cost me a fortune during he relationship. We have 2 children born 2002 and 1999, I've been told I have no parental rights due to them being born pre 2003. She left the family home to be with her new fella and I didn't claim maintenance for 2 months as we agreed to shared childcare - the children chose to live with me. However police were called as I'm threatening, violent etc - police cleared it up and removed her from the property - again children chose me. She still hasn't been back to see the children despite promising gem - they now no longer want to see her - school and home life as improved for both children. Their mother has tried to drag them out of school to make their dad cry - in her words. And has even called social services saying I don't feed them and leave them. I have called in solicitor and court for parental responsibility and residency orders - however she is contesting based on violence and emotional abuse - despite no evidence - what can I do ? This has to far cost me £2500 and will cost more at the court. She won't get off the mortgage and she's threatening the children must stay in the same school despit e them wanting to switch. I don't seem to be able to respond - she requested a screen in court- this all seems beyond a joke and I feel part of someone's circus. I have the children full time - yet she can attempt to disrupt our lives? Help please
D 30/06/2016 at 4:17 pm
What happened if the mother never open the door to be served
James 30/06/2016 at 8:36 am
Hi, my ex applied to the court for a divorce, we agreed to pay half each, she has since requested that the respondent (me) pays the full costs... The court has agreed the costs clearly because her Solicitor completed the forms on her behalf and I have to now attend court to argue why I should not have to pay all the costs. Is this normal ?. why am I being asked to pay for her costs and why do I need to go to court to ask to split the costs .? so unfair.

She goes on holiday with her boyfriend leaving the children at home alone (all aged over 16 now) when I go away I take them with me... And I have to pay her court costs...!!

Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 17/06/2016 at 2:30 pm
You should first of all ignore what the solicitor says, as the solicitor is representing your ex and therefore writing the letter she wishes to hear. Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here which will outline the procedure you will need to pursue in order to re-gain access to your child. If you cannot afford the hefty legal fees you can self-litigate, Many non-resident parents are taking this route and having a good amount of success. If you are awarded a court order which gives you access to your son, your ex will have to abide by this regardless.
Daddy cool 16/06/2016 at 9:00 pm
Hi would like to see if you could offer some advice.. I split up with my ex partner roughly 9 months ago we have a son aged 5.. Since we split we have had arrangements in place for me to have him every weekend but within those 9 months she has stopped contact 3 times and only picks and chooses when to give him to me.. I recently started a relationship and because of this I was stopped access only through jealousy.. I have received lawyers letters stating that i can't have my son near my partner ever and if I do I will be stopped access altogether I was also told that I can't have him at my mothers as she fell out with her as well so I am at a total loss any advice would be appreciated
SeparatedDads Editor 09/06/2016 at 1:50 pm
I am very sorry to hear this. you really must try to take this matter back to court and if you cannot afford legal fees, you can self-litigate, If you have not been charged and the investigation was inconclusive then your ex is effectively in breach of the court order, please see link: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here which means you can take this back to court to have the order enforced. I urge that you take any free help and advice you can get regarding this matter; some solicitors offer a free half hour, Citizens Advice can offer help too as can McKenzie Friends, please see link: here both inside and outside court. Also, read up on all the Separated Dads pages and use our Forum and Facebook page in order to educate and arm yourself with knowledge of family law, as knowledge is power. Joining groups such as Families Need Fathers will also give you the confidence to fight alongside likeminded fathers to see your children again. Under no circumstances contact your ex directly as this will give her possible ammunition to hold this against you. What have you got to lose? You are not seeing your children at the moment, so therefore you need to do everything in your power to galvanise yourself in order to make sure you get your access rights again. Good luck.
Nate 08/06/2016 at 9:44 pm
Hi,
I'm a bit lost to be honest. This is a short account of my situation and i guess i'm trying to find some direction to proceed. I've read lots of posts and advice but i carnt seem to get my head around what to do. 3 years ago my wife and i separated. I'd had contact with my son and daughter regularly and we had great times together. my ex wifes attitude changed fairly soon and accusations started, she applied for a residency order, Cafcass did its investigation and through the court an order was given. i would get regular contact, sleep overs, weekends holidays and so on. that contact progressed well, more great times, holidays with the children but unfortunately more trouble was to follow from ex. She falsely accused me of assault on my daughter. i was arrested, investigated and finally after 5 months found to be totally innocent of any wrong doing. I made contact with mother to arrange contact again as per the court order and was threatened with the police if i contacted them, her, called, mailed and so on. I'd been devastated throughout the process but this just compounded the issue. i contacted the social services and was given no help, no call backs, the case officer was long term sick and his line manager was dealing but never any response. so i still havnt seen my children after 10 months as i'm refused access. I dont have the funds to engage a solicitor to help and am frankly just numb from the experience. I'm a great Dad with wonderful children and i just want to be in their lives. Any advice and guidance would be very much appreciated.
Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 20/05/2016 at 2:01 pm
If you are concerned about the welfare of your child, but SS is already involved in the matter, then you can talk to SS directly or ask advice from the NSPCC, It is very difficult for me to advise beyond this given the situation is already in the hands of the authorities.
Gb 19/05/2016 at 10:36 pm
I separated from my ex wife 7 yrs ago, and have had regular contact with my son who was 8 when I left, all contact has stopped completely since I reported her to ss for my sons historical lack of education (9% attendance)and her fabricating illnesses for herself and my son. He is now on a cp plan for emotional abuse and her mental state is being questioned by the ss, doctors and police, her husband has been messaging 16 and 17 yr old girls and boys inappropriate messages, ( my son is 15), and their is violence in the household.
I am married again with 2 children plus 3 from my wifes previous relationship, we have been advised to apply for custody of my son as he is witnessing violence, and being taught to decieve authorities and my ex wife is hiding from sw's and wont let them speak to my son alone. I have made the application but am extremely concerned about my sons situation and how long this process is going to take.
SeparatedDads Editor 13/05/2016 at 2:02 pm
It depends on whether you think you need representation. If it is a straightforward case of you being eligible to pay because you have the responsibility as a parent under child maintenance laws then no. If your case is of a more complex nature and will involve other issues then perhaps you may wish to seek advice. However, you can also self-litigate if you prefer, and you can do the research and prepare your case yourself and/or with the help of a McKenzie Friend, please also which will cut back on the hefty solicitor's cost.
Desperate dad 12/05/2016 at 8:04 pm
My former partner has made an application for maintenance for my daughter ,should I have legal representation with me at the hearing
Jeet 01/05/2016 at 3:27 pm
I wanted to settle my financial settlement with my ex but she didn't cooperated. I have tried to apply for the settlement myself as I have had no money. I managed find a solicitor who was willing to take the money end of the procedure. In my view the solicitor deliberately tried to have the final hearing as the barrister didn't allow me to accept my Ex offer at the FDR hearing. My solicitor have asked/ force me to take their name out as my representative. I went for further 2 hearings for directions. In each hearing my EX have had go at me in front of the judge. Nothing said to her. I contacted the solicitor who said that he will continue with my case.The judge have list the case for final hearings. I have to pay £5000 up front for a barrister fee. The solicitor didn't send bundles and my settlement until Friday and hearing was on Monday. Judge was unhappy about the quality of bundle, because the bundle was submitted until Friday my EX submitted her own bundle. The judge wanted to relist the case for the final hearing and award the cost to my EX. My EX barrister had said number things in court to tarnish my credibility. The barrister came to court 30 mins before the hearing and he came unprepared.
I was frustrated to face another hearing after 3 months. My EX made me offer and I accept it. Most of money probably go towards the solicitors fees. I will be without the house and most probably have to declare a bankruptcy as I have had £85000 worth of debt most of is for business, which was in joint name of my Ex and me.
I am sorry to go on about me but what can do now? The order says that the lump sum money to paid to solicitors. Obviously, he will take whatever money he wants to take as his fees. Can I fire him and inform the court that he is no longer my representative? Would court amend the order and direct my EX to pay the lump sum money to me and not to solicitors? I want to complaint to some one about solicitors conduct in above matter, what and whom I complaint to?
FatherGeorge 10/03/2016 at 7:13 pm
My ex partner has caused me and my current partner problems. I've had to cut off contact with her but its made it really difficult to see my two kids. I have mediation booked but I do not want any contact with my ex partner after the meeting as i'm in a happy relationship which she is trying to break up. Don't mean to slag her off but to shed some light she is a really evil, dumb and selfish slag I just want an easy life now. Does anyone have an idea of how contact centres work?
Also if this goes to court will they consider I work different hours each week?
I'm worried because I need to keep my job to afford things. What if she makes up she works aswel?

My Solicitor told me they would but the Mediator told me they wouldn't
SeparatedDads Editor 07/03/2016 at 12:43 pm
I am sorry to hear this. I will post your question on our Separated Dads Facebook page, where hopefully you'll get some answers as this is a problem that many fathers face. Also, our dads can give some great advice, regarding your best approaches and how best to take things forward, as many have come out the other side; definitely the wiser. Please refer to the Facebook page for your answers.
Mark 06/03/2016 at 4:13 pm
I recently separated from my wife in October we have a 7 year old which we have both raised since she was born . I work from home a lot of the time and manage my own work time and have weekends off. She works in the hospitality industry and often doesn't finish until after 6pm and works at weekends. We have entered in to mediation as its been impossible to talk without interference from relatives and I am seeking my equal share of my daughters up bringing as I only currently have her a few hours in the week and all day Saturday or all day Sunday depending on her work rota. She is getting others picking up our daughter from school on days she is telling me she is doing it herself . I don't don't think she is going to agree to what I am asking in mediation so will probably end up in court. Has anyone gone through a similar situation ?
angeljulie77 19/02/2016 at 4:15 pm
Hi sorry for the confusion. What we would like to know is, even if my 13yr stepson wants to live with his mum, can after we've had him for 4 nights per wk for 10yrs be stopped from having him stay with us over night now?. also she now wants us to pay her maintenance, and considering we've had him the most over the years, and she's never paid us anything why should we pay her now?. She is also painting a picture of my husband being violent and bulling. This is not true at all, he's the most patient person I know. Can she be done for definition of character?
many thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 17/02/2016 at 10:29 am
I'm afraid as much as I would like to help, I am finding it difficult to follow what your actual question is. I'd be happy to try and answer it, if you can re-phrase it.
angeljulie77 16/02/2016 at 4:57 pm
Also forgot to mention that since my daughter has been at her mums she has dropped out of college so I have lost all her benefits now this means a loss of £358 per month, ive filled out a rough child maintenance calculator and if I can manage to get my son to stay 1-2 nights a week i'll still have to pay £41 per week which I cant afford. why should I pay maintenance when ive had them most over 10yrs
angeljulie77 16/02/2016 at 4:48 pm
my husband and I have had both his children plus my son living with us 4 days/nights a wk for the last 10yrs, hi ex has them the other 3. This was arranged around her work schedule because my husband was the house husband when they were together so she could continue her career. last yr things became awkward with my daughter and my wife, the usual teenager stuff, so my ex told the children they could go and live with her and she would give up work. to make things fair at the beginning we claimed benefits for one child each. so my ex stated that she would need my daughters benefits and maintenance to survive. There was a big argument and I told them both nothing was changing. now my daughter has turned 16 and my son turned 13 at Christmas, they went to their mums 2 wks ago and she got them to phone me to say they weren't coming back. My son wants to visit but will only do so if his sisters stays too. But she doesn't want to stay. Also my ex is sending letters from the solicitor stating she is worried for the safety of my children with me, as i'm bullying, intimidating and violent. All this is untrue not once have I acted in that type of manner she's painting me out to look dangerous. Also during those 10yrs she had failed to look after the children's basic needs as a parent should. she's never taken them to the dentist in fact yesterday she made me cancel the apt I made so she could make a new apt to take them another time. we believe she's been planning this and waiting until my son turned 13so he can take care of himself. during the 10yrs shes had several boyfriends/one night stands and has currently been with her partner for 6 1/2yrs but she is claiming single parent benefit because they each have a house, but we know they stay together 5 nights a week and eat,sleep bathe, laundry together. my son is now lying about things to protect his mum because he wants to stay with her I don't know what to do please help.
SeparatedDads Editor 15/02/2016 at 2:41 pm
If you are worried about the high legal fees, and you want to take the matter to court, you can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads Editor 15/02/2016 at 10:43 am
Many thanks for your comments, they will be very useful to our readers.
Burts 14/02/2016 at 2:25 am
KYMANO, the intial court c100 for is £215, as you already have solid contact and strong relationship with your child court proceedings would be pretty simple, the courts are all.for equality and no one's life should be hindered or children become a burden, you need a life as much as.your ex.and the courts will.see.that, don't be afraid to file your court order, just don't turn it into a full on war, set your goals and stick to it don't go for more then you want and be fair.
Split parenting has to be good.for everyone not.just one person!
Kymano 13/02/2016 at 8:30 pm
Been separated for 4 years. Got 7 year old son. Since separation I've had him 2 nights per week and every weekend from 12pm Saturday till 6pm Sunday. I've been wanting to change this arrangement, either full week and week, or some sort of every other weekend switch so that the weekends are available to both of us, but she completely dismisses my proposals. She works during weekends and is refusing to give them up in any shape or form. We've tried mediation, but I was dismissed there too. I'm increasingly finding myself wanting to force the issue through courts, but worried about costs and/or ex's reaction. Any advice?
Burts 13/02/2016 at 1:41 am
Hi just thought I'd share my experience upto date as iv posted in the past, My son was born in September last year and was refused any contact at all I applied to the courts after one mediation session for p.r, birth cert,and name change, It cost me £215 ans had the ex in court within 5 weeks I self litigated (done alot of research) first hearing cafcass was not helpful and very biased and the ex made accusations about myself that came from the mediator that got investigated, since then we've both me fine scoped and inrecieved my cafcass direction letter ready for court on Tuesday our final hearing and I have been granted every court order I applied for, aslong as you keep.your cool and be honest you will get your worth! It's easy to say on here I know but life's alot longer then the 8 months of hell you'll go through, anyone want any advice I will answer as I can, hope you all have a good results like my case, CAFCASS really did pull through in my eyes!
Elliot 06/02/2016 at 4:10 am
Hi, I'm going to court to try and get parental responsibility order and also try change how I can see my son. Currently only allowed to have my son at my parents, what evidence should I take along on the day to support my case and will both issues be dealt with!
Thanks in advance
Dutchdingle 29/01/2016 at 9:37 pm
My partners ex has after regular contact for no reason at all stopped this as it doesn't 'work' for her no other explanation given, we have gone to a mediator and they have given her 7 days to say if she will go or not, we have tried every option possible to work with her and the last agreement we presented her with was seen as more than fair by our solicitor and she still refuses, should we therefore up the stakes with a view to allowing her to negotiate us down? To hopefully around what we think is fair and best for the kids? If we negotiate down from what we are offering we will end up hardly seeing them
SeparatedDads Editor 29/01/2016 at 10:49 am
If you can't afford the solicitor's fees, you can self-litigate. and here. I hope this helps.
nico 28/01/2016 at 3:33 pm
Hi there i am looking for help how to get an contact order to be able to see my daughter? all the solicitors i havecalled they are too money that i dont have and i will not afford, is it any other way? my daughter she lives in Telford Shropshire.
SeparatedDads Editor 27/01/2016 at 10:42 am
Please see link: Contact Orders: the Process here which will tell you more about the process. It is Cafcass, rather than the judge that will put forward recommendations to the judge and the judge as a rule, usually takes on board these recommendations. I hope this helps.
Drcool 26/01/2016 at 2:52 pm
Hi guys, great site you have here, you've helped me out immensley over the past couple of weeks. I'd like to ask a question regarding judges if thats okay. i understand its impossible to predict what exactly will happen on the day of any hearing. But ive got my first hearing through in early March and ive been given the judges name. Ive done a bit of background research and ive come up pretty empty handed. Would you guys know of any way i can find out more information on a particular judge to get a feel of what im heading into?

Thanks in advance and keep up the great work.
SeparatedDads Editor 20/01/2016 at 11:35 am
Unfortunately, you cannot force your ex to have contact with his son and a court of law are unlikely to be able to force this upon him either.
DADman 19/01/2016 at 5:22 pm
Hi,

I have a first directions hearing tomorrow in regards to a child protection order, I don't dispute the order and am willing to give up all parental responsibility and to sign i. Is there anyway I can accept the order in this first directions hearing tomorrow so that this process can be finished with.
Rachael 19/01/2016 at 12:54 pm
Hi i am looking for some advice.
I've attempted mediation to get my ex partner to be involved in our son's life and he never attended and never replied to any letters. I am now thinking of court proceedings as it is affecting my son hugely that his dad has just all of a sudden stopped contact around 6 month ago. Could you give me some advice on what the next steps would be
Thank you
Mike 16/01/2016 at 2:29 pm
Hello just quick question I'm very desperate to see my son but my name is not on birth certificate and I don't have parental responsibility so what I can do
Chaoticmind 15/01/2016 at 1:52 am
I have just found out from the cafcass letter that my ex had 2 convictions and 3 from drink driving plus one battery caution. any chance that this will affect his battle agaisnt custody?
SeparatedDads Editor 07/01/2016 at 1:45 pm
I'm afraid it is impossible to predict what the court will advise. Before it goes to court Mediation will be suggested so that you can try and sort it out mutually. Please see link: Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here. If it goes to court Cafcass will get involved and in both Mediation and/or Cafcass you will be able to have your say. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads Editor 06/01/2016 at 2:29 pm
I'm afraid we can't possible predict what a court may decide. Much will depend on what CAFCASS says in its report, please see link: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here. I hope this helps.
charlie 05/01/2016 at 11:04 pm
Hiya.
I'm just wondering what the chances are of my ex seeing his daughter. I let him see her and this isn't good enough for him he wants to take matters further and take me to court. He has shown threatening and blackmailing behaviour and has a really bad temper and has even been in trouble with the law over it as he's been arrested for it and had to spend a night in the cell. I have been replying to him as he harasses me with calls and messages until I answer. I have held my hands upto this and I have only stood up for my self and my daughters safety and well being and not showed any threatening or blackmailing behaviour he isn't on the birth certificate due to me having trust issues with him because of his temperm what will be the most he will get to se eh is daughter if he takes me to court as I want to be prepared and ready for the court order to be put in place. I have given chance after chance I allow him to come and see her but has only turn up on 11 out of 19 occasions and of which hasn't bothered to tell me he isn't coming I've just been waiting for him after having plans made for him and he hasn't turned up.
Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 21/12/2015 at 10:36 am
If your ex has refused mediation and you are taking this to court Cafcass will get involved. The Cafcass Staff who compile the reports are known as Children and Family Reporters. It’s their job to interview both parents in the case. From the interviews they conduct, the reporter will determine two things: whether there should be contact allowed, and, if so, how much. It will take into consideration both parents timetables and will make a recommendation to the court. Generally the court will adhere to these recommendations. I hope this helps.
Clive 18/12/2015 at 4:22 pm
Hi...
I'm looking for some advice please and any help would be fantastic, A Thank you in advance...
My ex has refused to go to mediation (attempted twice now) and I am going to take it to court as I want regular visits with my Daughter (5 years old).
The 2 mediators and my solicitor have all advised that I am allowed more than my ex allows me, In fact up to 50% of the time if i wanted.
I am not asking for 50% I'm asking for every other weekend, 1 long weekend a month Friday after school until Sunday evening and a few weeks in the Summer Holidays.
My ex is not only using Our Daughter to try and stop me from taking it to court (stopping the visits i currently have) but has said the Court will only give me access to my Daughter every other weekend and 1 day after school for a few hours on the alternate week, And that these would be on specific days?.
Does anyone know if the court will take into account my hours that I work?.
I do shift work and work to a 4 week rota.. And due to my hours/shifts I am not able to do a set day after school for example it could be 1 (alternate) week That I could do a Tuesday after schhol and then another alternate week A Thursday after school? My alternte weekends could be a similar change of days also.
If someone could please advise me on how this works please then I would be most greatful.
Sbu 23/11/2015 at 6:34 am
I regrets what i did to my girlfriend. As tomorrow i go to a family court in Cape Town. What i need to governnent. I need to put me a child support not they put me in jail. I dont want to see my children's suffered.
SeparatedDads Editor 23/10/2015 at 10:57 am
While we can't advise you what to say directly, please see the Bar Council - Guide for Representing Yourself in Court, link herewhich gives you information on how the legal process works, how to prepare your case, and if you have to go to court, what you should expect and be aware of. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads Editor 22/10/2015 at 2:20 pm
I can only suggest you take it back to court, as to stop the access would mean you are in breach of the court order. However, if the situation is proving untenable, then you would have to take it to court and let the court decide what it thinks is in the best interests for your children.
Hammy 22/10/2015 at 7:53 am
My wife and I are taking the mother of our 11 year old
Grandson to court as she is not allowing any contact with him because of a dispute over maintenance payments with my son. She is effectively using us as emotional blackmail against my son. We have always had a loving and close relationship with our grandson and this situation is causing great distress. As I will have no legal representative I was hoping you could give me some pointers to use in my opening statement to the judge to get my points across.
News 21/10/2015 at 5:06 pm
I have custody of both my daughters, their Mother lives in Spain, the court order states the children should spend most of the school holidays with their Mother.
It has become a nightmare to get them on the plane to Spain, especially my youngest 8 yrs.
her mothers left before her 2nd birthday and she is very attached to her step mother.
What can I do ?
concerned 14/10/2015 at 8:40 pm
Tomorrow I will be in court with my son's father. I currently hold an emergency non molestation order which was served yesterday. I have spoken to my son's father's mother who informed me that he does not have a solicitor. If he does turn up to court will a solicitor be provided for him or what will happen?
SeparatedDads Editor 06/10/2015 at 2:07 pm
Friends and family members who are not involved in the case are not allowed into the actual court hearing. However, they are allowed to wait outside.
nanny 05/10/2015 at 6:22 pm
I am so very worried about the family court. None of my sons family can attend because of work commitments, including myself.
My grandaughters maternal family have no commitments, and I worry that they will turn up and my son will be overwhelmed.
They are not the most reasonable people.
Are they allowed at the hearing?
sarasara 29/09/2015 at 7:42 pm
Hi I went through the court process with my husband just over a year ago, he took me t court. We agreed on access and I have stuck to it to the letter. He recently asked for extra days which I don't want to agree to and now he is taking me back to court. What will happen.
I have 2 little boys who are happy and well adjusted with me. They like to see their dad and at the moment I think its working well. My husband agreed a year ago that he agreed with the court and caffcas. Can e easily take me to court when ever he likes.
HaileyLH 18/09/2015 at 11:57 am
My brother and his ex girlfriend have a 2 year old girl and they are fighting over when access will be given and have been going back and forth between solicitors for months, they have to go to mediation and it nothing is sorted they will have to go to court.
My problem is I'm being dragged into this as I sent my brothers ex girlfriend Facebook messages because I was worried about him being a good dad as I witnessed him not being very nice (not abusive) just being a bit of an arse, I have moved away and have not seen any of them for months and my dad says my brother has changed and he's being a good dad. I am no longer friends with either my brother or his ex girlfriend but my mum has told me that my Facebook messages have been used in a solicitors letter.
My question is will I need to go to court if asked to? As I do not want to and long longer want anything to do with either of them?
Thank you for your time.
Keymaster 16/09/2015 at 10:13 pm
My ex won't let me see my child, I am not on the birth certificate I was giving her money but now she has stopped taking my money. I just want to see my daughter. What do I or what can I do ? I need help, I work, pay taxes and am a registered voter. I just want to see my child. Please can you help me!
SeparatedDads Editor 09/09/2015 at 2:48 pm
I shouldn't worry too much. If the files are relevant to your father gaining residency of your step-brother, then they may be used in evidence. However, before it goes to court Cafcass will get involved and you may be asked for your version of events. It is nothing to be afraid of, please see link: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? here . I hope this helps.
meeks1315 08/09/2015 at 4:10 pm
Hi my dad and his ex partner have a son together it has all been good but now she wants to go to court. She has a serious mental health record and i have personally had to have her taken by the police over 4 times. She is a very unclean person and we have many witnesses to prove that. My father has never had any sort of thing like that, how does that stand in court? Will they look at them files? Will i have to stand up and give evidence?
SeparatedDads Editor 28/08/2015 at 2:34 pm
A CAFCASS report will usually take approximately 12 weeks to complete. However, if there are complications (i.e postoned interviews etc) or extra work is needed it will take longer. The family courts are also always busy, therefore, it could be either or both of these reasons.
EDDIE 27/08/2015 at 8:57 pm
In the last hearing the judge directed me and my ex-partner to serve statements on each other and the social services by 4pm wednesday 26th August. I did but she hasn't. What should happen now.
Andy 27/08/2015 at 8:41 pm
Hi I have been giving a final hearing that is four months since the last hearing I have a Cafcass report saying the children should be with me at weekends and one day a week. However my ex partner says she doesn't agree and I should see my children in a contact centre the is no history of violence on my part but there is on hers my question is why is it taking four months to arrange a final hearing my son is desperate to see me according to cafcass and I think a contract center will be more harmful I'm contacting my mp to as the court proceedings started in April it surly shouldn't take this long
SeparatedDads Editor 24/08/2015 at 12:37 pm
I can't predict what the court may decide. However, he would have to have a very good reason for the courts to decide they wanted to remove the children from you. The courts will always decide what is in your children's best interests and a stable, consistent environment will always be the court's preference on deciding where a child should live. Other factors will also be taken into consideration, please see article: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? whichThe Cafcass report will give you ample opportunity to have you say. I hope this helps.
anon 21/08/2015 at 1:11 pm
The father of my children had been in and out for 9 years.2 years ago he strangled me in front of my children to which I calledthe police although I had marks he got away with it as I didn't want my children to give evidence and after 6 months allowed him to rebuild his relationship with them. He now thinks he is the world's greatest dad and has told me he is taking me to court for custody and has been in touch with a solicitor. I do think know what action to take myself nowas he has paid consistently for two years and will have the backing of all his family how far will he get ?
SeparatedDads Editor 19/08/2015 at 9:48 am
I can only suggest you speak to your GP who will sometimes agree to a Liver Function Test (LVT) to determine whether a person has damaged their liver by sustained excessive alcohol consumption. Your GP may also agree to write to the court with the results. However, what the LVT does not do is provide results regarding whether a person has consumed alcohol excessively in the recent past. Plus, the court may not accept this as proof of evidence, so you would have to check. However, I'm a bit confused by your question, as it seems you are saying the court won't let you provide another one, and you can't afford one anyway.
mark213 18/08/2015 at 12:57 am
Hi. NEED HELP. I have been in court for the past year now with my son and they won't me to take a drug and alcohol test which Ii have already do but they won't me to take another one but can't afford at this time even though legal aid will pay half have I tried every thing. E.g loans more hours in work and still can't get the money. And Iam scare that me and my son won't see each other because I can't afford it what can I do!!
matthew 12/08/2015 at 8:55 am
my son is 15 he doesn't like his mother and her boyfriend police get called there at least twice a month due to violence he wants out and she will not let him move in with me how can I get him here can he stand up in court and have his say

Many thanks
Matthew
nathan 08/08/2015 at 5:46 pm
Hi my ex is taking me to court so she can stop me for seeing the kids but do I need to pay any court fees
SeparatedDads Editor 06/08/2015 at 12:04 pm
I am sorry to hear this. However, the courts are in favour of fathers having contact with their children and they are accustomed to ex-partners who will try every trick in the book to stop their ex's seeing their child. I have included a link Guide to Court 1: 1st Hearing; Court Forms & Statement, link here which should help. Your son also may find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful for help and advice as there are a lot of parents who have been through exactly the same issues and have come out the other side. I hope it works out for him, and he gets the contact he needs.
kimato46 05/08/2015 at 12:39 pm
hi my son has just received his court date to get access to see his little girl, he has tried everything to see her, but his ex partner is being awful, he tried mediation but she refused, social services told us to ring police to get a welfare check done, which we did and we're told to stop harassing her or we will be arrested, it is so hard as we had her at least 3/4 a week and now no contact at all, my son has never missed a payment to even though she denied my other grandaughter excisted to the csa twice but was proved wrong, my son is an excellent father, this is so cruel, my son needs to know what happens in court and what to say, can anyone please give us some advice .
James 29/06/2015 at 8:24 pm
My partner has denied me access for a long time now I be patient and nice but everytime she says it won't be right for me to see him please help I looked at the page but never really got a correct link to go through
banda 25/06/2015 at 1:12 am
i am 20 i have a one and five months son i dont work i live with my mom my baby father dont work he dont want to help me with the child my mom support me with food and shelter i want to bring him to court i need some advice pls.
frustratedfather 23/06/2015 at 6:36 pm
my son was the result of a one night stand, I was 21 had just qualified from my work and offered chance to work in australia but chose to stay in scotland for my son. Always had a great bond with him taking him twice a week through week and every 2nd weekend up until he was 7 when his mother wouldnt let me take him abroad for a holiday so we went down blackpool instead for the week. Following week I left to go on holiday abroad and when I returned my son was taken away from school as his mother had moved to england I've never heard from them since and now paid thousands to go through english law courts no waiting on first case and not sure where I stand to see my son again
Sam Editor 18/06/2015 at 11:43 am
@rick31 - it depends on how simple or complicated your case is, but it can take a bit of time to get the Cafcass report together, so you can be looking at up to 12 weeks.
rick31 16/06/2015 at 9:56 am
I am seperated from my ex and she gave birth 4 weeks ago. She wont let me see my daughter and it looks like Ihave no choice but to go through the courts. I know each case is different, but can anyone give me a rough idea of how long this will take please?
Thanks.
Chris123 11/06/2015 at 10:22 am
Hi i have a contact order and my ex has stopped me from seeing my daughter. 7 times now my lil one is 2.5. Me and her have a fantastic relationship. My ex stops me from seeing her when it suits her. N then lets me have her when shes getting with new blokes. Ive now had to get an enforcement order n going back to court. She is saying she isnt going to go what will happen at the hearing if she dosent turn up?
SeparatedDads Editor 04/06/2015 at 11:48 am
@JP - You can see both our partner article Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here, also the Bar Council - guide to representing yourself in court here, which is really informative. In addition you might find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful. If you scroll down there are some questions and answers regarding how other fathers have made the best from representing themselves in court. The main piece of advice I can impart is that it makes it much easier for the courts and also you, if you have prepared your case well and have all the paperwork in order, as it means you are not then wasting the courts' time. I hope this helps.
JP 02/06/2015 at 12:10 pm
I split from my partner 12 months ago and had contact with our 10 year old son regularly until about a month ago. She is saying that he no longer wants to see me but this is just the latest drama she has caused to put barriers between me and my boy. I have spoken to solicitors and have decided that as i cant afford to use them i will represent myself in court and apply for a contact order so i have something setup which she cant control and i can see my son without dealing with her. Any help, tips and advice you can offer me would be greatly appreciated as I'm new to the legal side of things but want to get this started asap as not seeing my son isn't an option.
SeparatedDads Editor 04/06/2015 at 9:55 am
@pam - it's quite difficult if he has had a safety order against him. It would depend upon the reasons for the safety order. Therefore, he would have to seek some professional legal family-law advice in order to find out if he has any options.
pam 02/06/2015 at 1:33 am
My son has a safety order against him. He wants to apply for joint custody of his son. His sons mother is taking drugs and my son wants to look after him. What can he do.
SeparatedDads Editor 18/05/2015 at 10:27 am
@max - this is a tricky one to answer as presumably your son has had time to instruct a solicitor and for whatever reason he hasn't. I have included a link to the: A Guide to Representing Yourself in Court here which gives a good amount of information on getting the best from self-litigation. He may also be able to get the help of a McKenzie Friend While his ex's partner may have been removed from the sex offenders' list, it will still remain of concern to the courts. I hope this helps.
max 14/05/2015 at 2:22 pm
my granddaughter is two and has always lived with my son. Her mother is taking him to court for unsupervised access which she has never had due to her living with a man who previously was on the sex offenders register. She has a good lawyer while my son has nothing, the case is in five days. Advice please we are worried sick
SeparatedDads Editor 14/05/2015 at 2:51 pm
@Tandy - you might find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful as there are a lot of comments and answers given to fathers who have been in the same situation and have come out of the other side. I have also included a link to: Guide to Court 1: 1st Hearing; Court Forms & Statement here which should give you more information. The courts are much receptive to allowing fathers to see their children and you have every right to want more from the relationship with your son. I hope this helps.
Tandy 13/05/2015 at 1:17 am
Hi there. I have a 5 year son . My ex only allowes me to see him at a contact centre for 2 hours every 2 weeks. I won't more contact . I have just received my c100 form signed of by the mediation people saying the mediation process has broken down. I am apply for a contact order but I don't really now what to expect or what the courts see fit as access! If anybody can give me some advice that would be great. Thanks Marcus
SeparatedDads Editor 13/05/2015 at 11:25 am
@marks - so did you agree to contact before it went to court? If so, then you would have to go through the court again and Cafcass will have to get involved, but I imagine your files may be updated, rather than having to begin from scratch again. I suggest you take it through the courts though this time, so that you can get set arrangements and if your ex reneges on them she will be in breach of the contact order.
marks 11/05/2015 at 1:33 pm
I previously took my ex to court to get contact with my daughter but at the last hearing my ex agreed to me having contact, I didn't get anything from the court like rights or anything to my child. She has since stopped contact again if I take her back to court will it have to start from the beginning and go through the Cafcass reports again?
SeparatedDads Editor 13/05/2015 at 9:46 am
@justicefordads - It is hard to say, generally the more issues that are disagreed over, the longer the case. If Cafcass has been involved it's report will be presented to the court also, and if issues have been agreed upon, then it makes it much easier for the court to come to a speedy decision.
The courts are very aware that any delay in decisions affecting children is not in the best interests of the children, therefore a straightforward case will be concluded more speedily than a more complex one. I hope this helps.
justicefordads 11/05/2015 at 12:33 am
Hi i have court 11th of next month it is the 1st hearing .how long does the process take if both partys argree to everything ?..2.my ex partner staten she wants contact centere for 1st 6weeks which i also argree two but will the court do that ? I have been nfa by police regarding my exs claims last week of violince to her and harrasment and have no previous for violince towards woman and not been in trouble in 6 years and i have custody of my little brother so clearly me not being a risk to him or her wouldnt they see that as a waste of time
SeparatedDads Editor 08/05/2015 at 11:03 am
@YRDE - You may be able to offer support under the McKenzie Friend rule, see link: Using a McKenzie Friend in Court here. However, there are also differing opinions about bringing someone close to you into the court to give advice, see BBC article: Is having a 'friend' for your day in court a good thing? whichTherefore, it is up to you/her to make an informed decision, it might also be as well that she instead has someone trained in the legal process that can help, especially if she is self-litigating. If you just want to go along for general practical support then as specified in the article; you can always take a friend or relative along with you to help you, but you must obtain the permission of the court to do this. I hope this helps.
YRDE 07/05/2015 at 2:38 pm
My partner has a child. She is currently in court with the father as he seeks custody for the child. As her partner, am I eligible to offer her support in court and accompany her to the hearings regarding the child?
babyfirst 01/05/2015 at 8:34 pm
Hi my baby's father took me to court when baby was only 5 months old. We've had 2 hearings, next week we are having our 3rd and final hearing. I allowed him contact with my baby as much as I can ( use to be almost every day). But he demanded 50% 50% day and night. I breastfeed my baby, 50%50% day&night is practically impossible or I'd have to give up breastfeeding. He has been an OK daddy but I don't think he is that keen on taking the baby, his is motivation is financial. Since the more nights he has with my baby, the less he has to pay the child maintenance. He is self-employed declared 0 income for the year so I receive the £7 /week at the moment from him. I envisage that he can not continue declaring 0 income or inland revenue will be after him. So he wants to get the 50% 50% in place so he won't need to pay either way.
I am really angry because he took me to court which costed him thousands of pounds yet he'd rather pay all to the lawyers than supporting his son. What's frustrating me is this whole child arrangement hearing system won't take finance into account, so the fact he pays nothing towards his son won't make any difference.
I can't afford lawyer or barrister so I am representing myself. I am feeling very anxious that the judge might take his false view on share parenting, in fact it is all to do with money. Do you think I should mention finance to the judge again. In the last hearing I only just mentioned the word money and the judge immediately made it clear that the court wouldn't deal with financial issues.
SeparatedDads Editor 01/05/2015 at 1:44 pm
@sweet-tee - has your solicitor suggested what to do next? If you can take a screen shot of the Facebook post declaring that she has seen the papers, this may help you. Otherwise, I think you really need to seek some professional legal advice regarding your next step.
sweet-tee 30/04/2015 at 4:54 pm
Hello
I have applied for a child contact court order as my ex partner wont let me see my 3 kids and today was my court hearing, but the correspondent which is ex partner didn't turn up. Can you tell me what the outcome of this might be because she has seen the order and she posted on Facebook. what do I do next as she still leaves in the current address and not far from her mums, is it advisable for me to check if she still leaves there or she has moved when she saw the letter because I don't want her to run away from the address because I know for sure that she has seen the latter. The court gave me till on the 15 for next hearing, please what is your take on this case.
Thank you.
Aidy Editor 27/04/2015 at 12:20 pm
@justicefordads - please remember that while it can seem that court cases are often a spat between the parents with the children in between, with the court taking one side or another, this is not the case, it is not personal. Regardless of what sex the parent is, the court will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of the children and will not be drawn into tit-for-tat arguments. Therefore, it is important that you too put aside your grievances and also concentrate on what you think is in the best interests of your children as they are the people in this that count.
justicefordads 24/04/2015 at 12:20 pm
Ok good to hear that cause she is makeing false accisations with no evidence at alll cause im foghting for my son and see will get outid for what she has done i have my brother liveing with me now i take him to every hospital appoint ment hes type 1 diabetic i interact with the school meeting etc i have his father backing me and child servies said if caffcass get invold they can ask for there report on me which in the social workers words whick will be a very good report so hope they do award it parentel responsabilty and contact ive so i can be a dad and provide love and care for him ....must go all in my favor tho i want to expose the lies about me out but i seem to think that that the justice system seems to favor the woman as a victim thats my worry
justiceprevails 23/04/2015 at 3:56 pm
As it is often the father who appears to be the loser in residency cases, I thought I would share my story to give some hope to those currently going through the process.

My son came to live with me a year ago and despite assurances that she would make every effort to maintain contact with him, the mother has now ceased all contact. She has claimed that I do not do enough to facilitate contact and that I should be the one to take him to her. Bearing in mind this is a 500 mile round trip which I used to make every weekend when the shoe was on the other foot, I do not feel as though this is my responsibility, but I had agreed to meet halfway where possible.

There was a short period of time over Christmas when my son did have contact with his mother and she then refused to return him to me. This obviously caused huge distress and anxiety to myself and my son who is 10. Eventually he was returned and life has continued as normal since. The mother has now ceased all contact and said that I have refused to allow her contact - untrue.

In order to pursue this, I applied to the court to ensure that I have an arrangements order where it states my son lives with me and has contact with her. Cafcass carried out their safeguarding checks which threw up some unknown issues on her side, but she did not defend these as she refused to engage with the Cafcass worker. Today was the first hearing - she didn't turn up.

The Cafcass worker recommended to the court that a section 7 report be initiated which would take 12 weeks to complete. I then went in with the judge who completely disregarded the Cafcass workers recommendations and said that it would be a waste of time and money to carry out further checks. She awarded me full residency and said that contact was to be arranged between me and the mother and if she was not happy with the contact agreed, then she could apply to the court to vary the order. Case closed after 5 minutes of being with the judge.

I conclude from this that the judges take a very dim view of people who refuse to engage with the process and do not comply with what they say. After much stress and sleepless nights, I now have what is best for my son. My message is - do not give up, justice will previal.
SeparatedDads Editor 23/04/2015 at 2:52 pm
@justicefordads - I can't say whether this will go in your favour for definite, but it can only add to your case.
justicefordads 22/04/2015 at 2:58 pm
He now lives with me and child serives have shut the case saying im amazeing in what ive done at only 26 for my brother they dont have to worry now ..thanks sorry for the essays just want to now as much as possible thanks
justicefordads 22/04/2015 at 2:55 pm
Hi thanks for the info i have facebook messages showing she told me he had misscarrige sayin simply she wasnt happy think nows she had a misscarrige we shud break up ...she has nothing to back up her accusations only what her familey says ov course they will take her side .what she doesnt no is that my mum ran away and i now have care and im gaurden to my little brother which child services got invold cause she ran away my then 12 year old brother told them i was like his dad and role model and his brother in one his dad says im bassicly his dad told social serives he is amazeing and done alot for my son .....will this all go in my favor in appling for parentel responsabilty .thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 22/04/2015 at 2:33 pm
@justicefordads - I am sorry to hear this. It is very hard to say. You can apply for parental responsibility and then for access. However it is likely that if it goes to court, Cafcass will compile a report and it depends on how Cafcass look at it. The court wont take lightly to her misleading you, on the other hand it depends what reasons she gives for doing so. I have directed you to the site: What Goes into the Cafcass Family Report? whichYou may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page helpful if you scroll down some of the comments and replies that are applicable to you. Many of the fathers have been through this all before, so they can offer some great advice. I hope this helps.
justicefordads 21/04/2015 at 9:27 am
Hi my ex wont let me see our 4 mnth old son she told me that she had a miscarrige at 3mnths gone we broke up i was gutted to say the least then she moved away for about 6mnths she comes back with pics of her new born baby then tells me she lied if i wont to see him go to court i have been told be close friends shes told peope the dad dont want to kno him toatal lies been trying since i found out he was born ...does this go in my favor at court i.e i mean her actions
SeparatedDads Editor 21/04/2015 at 12:51 pm
@Bloors - it would be better for you to go through the mediation process. While mediation may be voluntary, if you don't turn up, it will show the courts that you have not complied with the process. The report via mediation, also helps the court decide whether or whether or not to offer access, so it is useful to get everything ironed out in order that the court can make an informed decision.
Bloors 19/04/2015 at 2:40 pm
Hi, I'm due to go back to mediation next week to get a letter saying that we still can't reach an agreement and I can then take this to court. Is there anyway of going to the courts without this?
?? 09/04/2015 at 6:09 pm
just submited my court papers after my ex stoped me seeing my son, currently waiting for a court hearing date which could take 6 weeks then possible could have to wait another 12 weeks before a final hearing. this meanig i am possibly going months without seeing my son. i know fathers have gone years without seeing there children but how did they cope in the mean time as am not starting to feel down an depressed.
SeparatedDads Editor 07/04/2015 at 1:38 pm
@xc - I'm afraid we couldn't possibly predict what the court will bring up or not. However, if he has applied before and it was revoked, it is likely the courts may refer to it.
xc 03/04/2015 at 11:16 pm
hi me ex is applying for a child arrangements order he has already lost custody of a child through the courts will they bring this up in the new court case
SeparatedDads Editor 23/02/2015 at 2:26 pm
@Maj1987 - if you are self-litigating have you enlisted the help of a McKenzie friend? and for more information and where you can find one via whichYou may also find our Separated Dads Facebook page useful as you can pose these questions to other dads who have been through the process and who can give advice. There was a posting around Xmas regarding self-representation and there was plenty of constructive advice then. If your ex doesn't attend court then the court may make a decisions based on her statement (if she has given one). I hope this helps.
Maj1987 20/02/2015 at 11:53 pm
What happens if my ex doesn't turn up to court?? She hasn't sent the c7 form back and time limit up for that now. I really think she's not going to come.

If you've experienced this what happened?
Did they rule without her or rebook court?
What was the outcome?
How did they enforce the rulings?
Did she get a letter saying what the outcome was?
How did you make arrangements? Did court organise it or did you have to? Where I don't have her number I don't know what I would have to do.

Looking forward to hearing responses. We are in court in a couple of weeks so will see how it goes but I don't want to go in blind. I'm representing myself so can't ask a lawyer.

Thanks in advance :)
Beth Editor 13/02/2015 at 2:42 pm
@alloy - usually is takes around six weeks to be heard if you have applied to the family courts. But this can change given the amount of cases that are going through at that particular time.
alloy 12/02/2015 at 8:13 pm
How long do it take the court to sort out a court date to get the case in a court room thanks
Size 05/11/2014 at 3:45 pm
I am denied access to my youngest daughter (7 years) by her mother what can I legally do?
SeparatedDads Editor 16/10/2014 at 12:01 pm
@Tho - One thing that is always difficult regarding a split in any relationship is that invariably one or both parents of the child move on to other partners. This is always a painful period of reajustment for both sides when another man or woman moves into what was once their domestic territory. In addition it is not made any better by the fact that social media plays a big part in our lives and by default makes it difficult to fully escape people we were once close to and often displays images or status updates that can be very upsetting to the estranged parent. Unfortunately, this is a sign of the times we live in and while distressing there is theoretically nothing wrong with this image, apart from that it is difficult emotionally for your son to witness. So, I don't think it would help his case in any obvious way. If he doesn't want to be subjected to this kind of continued hurt I would advise that he refrain from using the likes of Facebook for the time being. I hope it all works out for you in what is understandably a very difficult time.
Terrence Graham. Tho 16/10/2014 at 12:20 am
My son is going through the legal system to have custody of his 2 year old son. His wife, he is not divorced yet, is using the child as a weapon and refusing to let my son see the boy. She has told lies and she is being extremely obstructive. It has come to light thata photograph has appeared on a social network site showing the wife in bed with anotherman whilst my grandson is on the bed opening his birthday presents, this has to be cruel and to my son's advantage surely. My son is representing himself. Please can you give advice to tell my son. There is no domestic violence involved..
Winnie 29/09/2014 at 8:01 pm
Hello we are in a family law case if you are representing yourself in court for a first hearing without statements or evidence needed what things could you say on your openkng statement to the judge my husband was in a contact centre then in the community for 4 hours then up it to 4 hours twice a week all we want is shared residence and for the child to come to are family home to meet the child's siblings the respondents solicitor is us on stalking tactics and keeps asking for court adjournments and for my son to continue with contact in the community all we want is the child to be allowed in are family home to know and meet the child's siblings
ramsay Editor 31/07/2014 at 12:21 pm
@gizmo, if you refused to take your son back to a contact centre then that could be classed as kidnap, in which case the police will become involved.
gizmo 31/07/2014 at 12:00 pm
what would happen if i didn,t get my son back to contact centre
Francesco 30/06/2014 at 8:11 pm
My ex-wife and me have been separated for over a year and put together a written amicable agreement with some guidelines on how to act in the best interest for our children.
Please be aware that I am Italian with my family still in Italy and have been living in England for over 10 years.
In our amicable agreement we stated that each alternative year the children would spend Christmas with one of us and New Years Eve with the other one. Please be also aware that for the pas 11 years my ex-wife never agreed to spend Christmas in Italy with my parents. This year it should be the children's turn to spend Christmas in Italy and I asked my ex wife to allow me to take them there for a week between the 22 and 29 December. She is not prepared to allow this is ready to go via solicitors. I think the children should be allowed to see their grandparents which they see less than 30 days per year and although I am prepared to seek legal assistance, I do not want to waste the judge's time who should be focused on more serious matters. Could I have your brief opinion?
zoe 26/05/2014 at 5:41 pm
Iam married with my two childen but child is not my husband daughter my xparter is I wasn't married to him but he is on birth certificate I want to move to eu and he has give me permission before but fell though so where trying to go eu again but he still daying no I cant take her He only sees her every 2weeks for day n night he lives with his dad n its only a 2bedroom what can I do?
yo 06/08/2013 at 11:48 am
my wife took the children to london ,i dont know how and where to find her ,i have only her name and birth day also my children . how do i start .
Shannon14 17/05/2013 at 8:36 pm
Please can you help me I was with my partner six years I gave her a good home car an we had a lively baby boy who I cared for mist of the time I done all the nite feeds etc changed him fed him he was a complete daddy's boy an last year she ran off with someone else I did ask her to not let my little boy of four meet other men an I would do the same with woman until we was both sure it was a secure relationship that only then my son could see she has constantly left him only seeing him one to two days per week an her parents drink very heavy I had my son during the wek an my parents had him when I worked which they used to do when I was with his mum she has had more then numerous relationships with different young boys an my son has met numerous boys an knows numerous names of these boys she constantly black mails me for mire an more money for my son which I know is being spent on drink etc I left her everything when I left the car the flat an everything in it an it was spotless now the flat is a wreck with all the party's etc now after a year I have finally met a nice girl who has a little boy of the same age as my son an so took them all out for the day the first girl my son has met now due to this she has stopped me seeing my son who is my world can anyone advise me what I can do to get to see my son she is still trying with her mum to black mail me for more an more money all the time I want to see my son an I know my son will be crying for me as he screams when she takes him back from me every time please can someone help me I havnt got the money to get a solicitor thankyou for any help
Kev 02/04/2013 at 8:15 pm
Hi I had an affair welfare took the child from hospital because the mother was not a good mum now I've been to court and got my son back but welfare has a twelve month care and protection order on him now the order is comin to an end and they want me to go to family court to gain custardy of him from them so now my question is when the order runs out can the mum go for custardy her self and try cuttin me out like what rights does she hav after the order has ran out please help this us really desroyin my family not noin if she can
Dee 01/04/2013 at 1:33 am
Hi I usually don't talk to people about this but I'm in desperate need of advice, firstly I would like to say I am in total favour of both parents having access to their children n believe it is what the child needs. My son is 3 in July, I have to say my relationship with his father is rocky at the best of times! But I do not let any hostility between me and my ex be shown or known to my son I believe like all young boys that they should be able to make their own mind up about his father when he is old enough to do so. Basically his dad is taking me to court next week for guardianship and access. He currently gets access on a wed evenin and from 12 on a sat to 7 pm on a Sunday. His dad keeps complaining he doesn't hav enough time with his son yet rearranges access at least once if not twice a month due to his social life which he claims is an important need in life and I should make allowances for this. If it is a valid reason I do il admit I'm not impressed at all if its a piss up or session he wants to go on I do not begrudge him a social life what I do begrudge him is the lack of routine my son has due to his so ial life. Even when I do arrange the access his parents end up minding his son while he goes out even though I've arrange it so he does hav his nite out. I want this to stop but how to I get this brought up in the court case to make sure I can stop him from leaving his son when he has his time with him that apparently he's not getting enuf of but contradicts it by trying to fit his son around his main care- his piss ups???
Candygirl 11/01/2013 at 1:24 pm
Good day

I married a partner who as a son, he was never married or lived with the child's mother.
We have been to court and 2 lawyers. We couldn't afford the fees the lawyers asked for and they advised we go through the courts. We've been there but no one can seem to help us. I need to know what is the next step we need to take as we would like access to his son and his son cries to live with us. She is married to someone else but has been with holding my husbands son for almost a year, threatening us with police and we disrupt her home because she has another son which is not my husbands son but from another man who pays maintenance like us but he also has not had access to his son.

What do we do who do we speak to??? Please help as we are missing the important parts of the son growing up.
gaffa 23/12/2012 at 11:47 am
Hi I have tow boys 10 and 5 I seen them every sat night and sunday.but now things have gone sour with ex.she has stop me seeing them and won't let me talk to them and now won't let me have them for Xmas.even thou we agreed days.how can I get this resolved.the bots are ny world.
spence 26/10/2012 at 2:32 am
my x partner is playing god with my daughters life one minute im allowed
to see her the next im not the most recent .
i asked her permission to take my daughter away for a weekend this she agreed too the day before we was going she has said no shes not going .
is she allowed to do this and if so why can they just pick and choose when we see our children to suit themselves.
KENNY 15/08/2012 at 10:06 pm
WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN MY EX GIRLFRIEND WAS IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP AND WOULDNT LET ME SEE MY DAUGHTER.I HAVE SINCE BEEN TO COURT AND I HAVE ACCESS TO MY DAUGHTER FOR 3 HOURS ,2 DAYS A WEEK.I ALSO FOUND OUT THAT SHE HAS PUT THIS OTHER MAN DOWN AS THE FATHER OF MY CHILD ON MY DAUGHTERS BIRTH CERTIFICATE.MY LAWYER KNOWS THIS BUT NEVER BRINGS IT UP IN COURT ? IT JUST KEEPS DRAGGIN ON.IVE TO GO BACK IN 6 WEEKS.
Norrie 07/07/2012 at 8:47 pm
I am having to represent myself at court on Thursday as my ex wife plans to take my 7 yr old daughter to Australia. I have my daughter every weekend and there are a huge natural family , grandparents etc. There is a court order in place thta I have my daughter every weekend and we have an incredibly strong bond. My ex has since ( recently ) married her partner of 4 years with whom she has 2 other children , 1 and 3. My daughter does not want to go however as she is young her decision wil not form part of the judges decision.My ex wife and new husband have never been to Australia and have no accomdation or schooling sorted. Please can anyone offer any advice,Any help greatly appreciated
sid 09/06/2012 at 11:08 am
Hi there, I need some help / advice.My partner took our 3 month old son, back to her native australia, to visit grandparents, for an initial period of 3 weeks, which was fine. half way through the time apart though she then told me that she was actually away for 2 months, which I was unhappy about initially , but all the same I didn't mind.Now though she has turned around and said that she isn't happy with our relationship, and will not be returning to the UK, with our son ( who has british citizenship only at the moment) she has maintained this stance for a 2nd week now, and am thinking I need to start acting, would this be seen as parental abduction in court?i obviously don't want to give him up what options do I have?any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.many thanks
pete Editor 17/05/2012 at 9:51 am
@Mike, she is trying to see how far she can push you, so for now just try to accommodate what she is asking because chance are she'll change her mind soon. I know it's not fair and she is being selfish but at least she wants you to have the children more, which is more than most ex partners do - trust me. Is there anyone who can mind the children for you while you are at work, like grandparents? Is there anyway you can swap your hours in work? Try to stay away from the courts for as long as possible as it will only get worse from then on. Good Luck!
Mike 16/05/2012 at 11:41 pm
My wife assaulted me and I called the police, they arrested both of us and later dropped charges. My wife locked me out of house and I stayed with friends until finding a property to rent. I voluntarily agreed to support however she makes me drive each and every thurs -friday to hers to collect and refuses to reciprocate. She initially agreed to thurs-fri & sun for me to see my son but has recently demanded I take him every other Saturday so she can go out, this is hard on me as i work saturday and this will place my job/support in jeopardy taking off every other Sat. How do I get her to play fair and share responsibilities , is court the only way?

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