When Your Ex Emigrates with Your Children

Val 02/10/2022 at 10:55 am

My partner has a child from previous relationship and has a court agreement, shared parental responsibility but lives with her. He has had to go back to court 3 or 4 times in 8 years because of refused contact and the last time she requested to move abroad. It was denied and so she changed to a UK move which was approved. We are nearly a year on and they still haven’t moved but the child has recently become distant and asking a lot of questions about the split and moving to another country. He had even said, I’m not meant to tell you but we are going on a holiday and then onto somewhere else so I won’t get to see you anymore…..the child is so confused and anxious, it’s upsetting him and impacting him majorly. What do I do? Is it another game that they are playing while using the child or is this serious. Contact is already inconsistent and all we get told is we have to be flexible, even though the reasons are fake, made up and never actual relate to the child’s activities or needs…he tells us after the event but we try not to make it more awkward so say nothing….what can we do, this can’t happen and surely the impact this is having on the child overrules.

Robby 25/02/2021 at 7:41 pm

Of all solicitors to highlight. Louise Halford is a shocking legal representative and a feminist at best. She has no idea what she's doing and cost me thousands of pounds and most importantly lost me two years in court for advice that was nonsense. She slags off men all the time. Bad choice of solicitors to have on this page.

Yuki 10/12/2020 at 5:26 pm

I want to divorce and apply for parent visa. I’m on spouse visa now in Uk and have a baby 2 years old. My partner wants me out of the UK. What are my chances to succeed please? Many thanks!

RobboS 28/11/2020 at 2:26 pm

My brother has a 7yr old son with an ex-partner. She’s American and my nephew was born here in the UK. She moved back to the States permanently when my nephew was 18mths. We’ve all had an amicable relationship since, we’ve been over there and she’s brought him to the UK for Christmases. Recently my brother has found out that she’s had their son diagnosed as ADHD and he’s being medicated for this. My brother wasn’t consulted about this at all and has merely just been told. Can court orders be applied for retrospectively? My brother has nothing in writing as a PR to have says in his son’s upbringing

Anais 24/11/2020 at 9:37 am

My daughter is 11. I plan to immigrate to the states in the next 3-4 years. She will be 14-15 years old. She has no contact with her father for the past year or so through her own choice. He is mentally incapacitated, he has been sectioned in the past, on medication and was unfit to plea on a murder case a couple of years ago. There is no court order in place but he is on the birth certificate. When I come to the point of processing my daughters visa, will I need a court order or something so I can leave? Bearing in mind there has been a history of domestic violence, harassment and mental health. How would I obtain his permission? I'm at a loss!

Florin 25/09/2020 at 10:08 pm

My residency is in the USA ,ex wife Ilona Lungu lives in Kettering UK for the last ten years,our divorce was done in Romania in 2009 and she left the country with My child David Bitea whit out my consent in UK .For 10 years I did not know anything about my son .She finally decided to rich out to me thru Facebook and connected Me with my son.We both agreed to come to UK and visit and she promised me that I will have him during the visit but she lied,the child was in her presence all the time except one time when we went in the pool . I left and from that day we did not see each other only through social media. I would like to know how can I find a way to legalize my rights that I was given in the romanian court .My rights :to have my son every weekend and 3 weeks in the summer.Because we live in different countries I don’t want to put him through that but to find a fair way for both of us.

Aaron 17/08/2020 at 11:21 am

I lost my Hague case as a US citizen petitioning my wife of UK citizenship for rights to my daughter who is a 3 year old dual citizen now. I have a family court order for scheduled time with her in the U.S. but she refuses to even consider bringing her until this pandemic is over. Are there extended permits or visas that allow me to join her in the United Kingdom so that I can play an active role in her childhood?
Are the current travel restrictions a valid reason for breaching court orders?

C.laurie 10/01/2020 at 2:45 am

@maggie.well I have a 16 year old daughter all grown up now.and with the awkwardness off everything yeah I most likely will never see you again.and with having no contact for over 11 years now and the research I have done I wouldn’t have a case even if I went to court in reality.yeah it sucks but there really are millions off guys like me in the same situation.so yeah I look at positives I never paid child support or had the burden off a child not much else I can do in reality now the child grown up now bit late for any action now .so all best two them.

maggie 10/01/2020 at 1:28 am

Hi.. i have a four old son and my ex husband come and lie to me and my son away from me he said that he would only stay for the christmas holiday but then after christmas i called him but he dont want to give my son back.. i want him back so that he could go to school but his father dont want to give him back till 2day... please i need help i want my baby back what should i do?

Bits 07/01/2020 at 7:50 pm

Hi, really could do with to guidance from anyone with experience with mother taking child back home to the Philippines without fathers consent!? So the Philippines and U.K. have an agreement in place about child parent abduction? Any experience or guidance is much appreciated

AB 25/11/2019 at 7:50 am

My wife disappear with my children back to the UK after our relocation to Nigeria, what can I do?

Littleflower 21/08/2019 at 9:46 am

I've got a restriction order from the UK magistrates court stating I cannot change my children's residency. I am Portuguese, my 2 children are Portuguese and so their dad. Since 2018 I do want to return to my home country, it was denied by court due to my circumstances at that time(2018). I'm currently in holiday with my kids in Portugal and not intending to come back to UK, as I've got house, job and vacancy for my oldest son at school. Do you know if the UK law can accuse a Portuguese mum whom as return to their home country of kidnapping? Regards

Sprouty 06/06/2019 at 12:12 am

I need some help as have court in two weeks...

My ex partner (kids mum) attempted to leave the country to live in Spain last month without informing me . . I was informed thankfully by her father and as the kids were in my Care I didn't let on in knew and didn't return them at the arranged time and kept them safe with me.. She left for Spain that day and I went to court and got a prohibited steps order in place and also an interim child arrangement order..

The mother went crazy over text claiming it was always just a "holiday"

She has since admitted she had planned to live there and nearly 5 weeks later still lives abroad..

Court for custody begins in a few weeks and I am representing myself. I could really do with some advice please.

Mic 10/05/2019 at 11:46 pm

My ex has remarried a woman from Italy and lives in a different province than me in Canada . If our son goes on a visit to Italy with them I fear what if he doesn't bring him back. What rights do I have to ensure his safe return. We are divorced but child custody isn't done on paper. Child lives with me year round and visits dad 3 x a year. Thank you

Jen 19/04/2019 at 6:36 pm

I’m from England. Living in another part of eu as ex moved to Ireland without telling us. Cut off his number. No forwarding address etc. Pays maintenance . Forced, taken from earnings. How can I get court order to travel with my child? Do I have to go through Uk court or can I do it from overseas?

Vicky 16/04/2019 at 3:44 pm

My son separated from his wife years ago. Now his ex wants to take my grandchildren lo live abroad in South America without any reason. She is on benefits in uk. They both born in uk, they are very good students and very happy here. My son is confused and he don’t know what to do.
Can I as grandmother request a order prohibiting the removal of my grandchildren until they parents go to a proper court? Thank you.

Carvalho 07/04/2019 at 7:07 pm

Hi. I'm Portuguese living in UK I got a baby boy who lives with me. He's dad is British and he's not give me any money for the baby, and see him whenever he feels like. I got the baby all the time, and I'm paying for everything on my own. I want to go back for my home country Portugal and take my son with me. But he's not agree with me. What should I do?

Andy 18/03/2019 at 5:46 pm

My ex moved to Australia with my daughter an the agreement was that if she took her there with my permission she would support her on her own (money wise). I never wanted my daughter to go an would happily pay for her if she came back. She made it so I barely saw her. Now she’s there she’s now saying she wants money from me an is going through the authorities. Where do I stand??

Muz 20/01/2019 at 3:42 am

The current domestic legal justice system in UK is backward, the most useless, crupt and 100 ./. In favour of legal justice system and legal representative. It purposly separates the families, young children and creates cases to make money and to circulate the money in the country. 100 ./. Crupt. It is destroying the country. That is exactly what the legal justice system wants. That is the truth of UK domestic violence legal justice system. ( any body have any kind of issue or consideration about these coments may wish to contact me, will talk to you with evidence).

Furbz777 14/10/2018 at 5:17 pm

Hi, My friend and his wife are divorcing. They are both Hungarian. She left the marital home to fly to her home country with their daughter stating that as soon as he moves out they would come back so he can have regular contact with his daughter.
She is now saying she is never coming back to the uk and is not letting him have any communication with his daughter.
He’s at a total loss with what to do and very upset.
Does anyone know what his rights are please.

Tash 04/10/2018 at 3:34 pm

My husband and I divorced in 2009, 1 year after my son was born. My ex is not on the birth certificate (he asked not be). He only ever made maintenance payments for 2 yrs and then just stopped in 2011. He has not made contact in over 6 years (my son is now 9yrs). He is not in our lives at all and has since started a new family. I want to emigrate to Australia (I am a citizen but have never lived there), and I know my ex, if asked, would not agree (we had a very nasty break up) as he would not want to be helpful. DO you think the courts would allow me to emigrate with my son to Australia?

SeparatedDads Editor 13/09/2018 at 11:46 am

Obviously, if you move away from the country to the other side of the world it is going to impact upon the relationship with your children because you will see them only infrequently. Even with the likes of Skype - your physical day-to-day contact with your children will be limited. However, we cannot make such a decision on your behalf. Only you alone can make such a decision.

Mark 12/09/2018 at 6:22 pm

I have a girlfriend since my divorce but have two children one three one and one five. If I move to another country does this effect them I’m worried they will forget me. I’m thinking of moving to where my girlfriend lives in Australia. I’m so worried my heart is broken into two. Ex has made my life impossible since split. What is the best decision to make I’m lost on this

Ozdad 24/08/2018 at 3:42 pm

I live in Australia and my ex and 2 children live in the UK. Child services have deemed the mother not fit to care due to her drinking habit and have been housed the children 14 & 15 with their grandparents. I am unable to get hold of their passports at the moment to fly them to me. Are there amy laws on emergency passports and getting them to Australia in the short term whilst i look into long term plans?

SeparatedDads Editor 10/08/2018 at 10:30 am

Unfortunately, we cannot help with your question as our knowledge is of UK-based family law, not US. You would need to seek professional family law advice where you live.

Jon 09/08/2018 at 1:49 pm

Hi My son lives with me and has done so for the last 7 years. He is aged of 14 .He does not want any contact with his natural mother. His sister who is older also has no contact with him. I have a new job in New york and. We have a contact order and its states son lives with father and daughter with mother. Mother is awkward and originally abandoned the children for 3 and half years with no contact whatsoever.
Then she applied to the court for full custody. My daughter decided to live with her mother. Case was in Dec 2016. Mother and I are not on speaking terms and never will be. My job starts on December and i dont want to disrupt my childs school and it is his option. I am allowed to take him out of the country for a month on the residency order.
So do i take him and bring him back every month until the court makes a decision or wait until a court makes a decision

SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2018 at 11:14 am

Much depends upon who is the day-to-day primary carer of your child. If the matter goes to court (a last resort), it is generally the primary carer who maintains the role, regardless of where your child was born. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Hopefully, you can decide between you if your marriage unfortunately breaks down.

Paddington 16/07/2018 at 9:58 am

Hello, I'm English, my partner is Australian. Our daughter who just turned 2 was born in Australia but has dual citizenship, 2 months after she was born we moved to Israel for my work, and then in March this year we all moved to England - again for my work. Things have broken down a lot between us as a couple and I fear we may be heading to a crunch time where we call it quits. What are our options? Because we currently reside in the London can I press to keep our daughter here, is the fact she was born in Australia a strong case for my partner to legally take her back there?

Rosebud 12/06/2018 at 10:16 pm

Hi
My partner was issued a contact order in the U.K. in 2016 in the same order his ex was granted permission to relocate to Portugal with their daughter. Contact broke down at easter and we triec to enforce in U.K. the judge said there was no jurisdiction, we should mirror the order and enforce in Portugal.
Do you know how I go about starting the process for this? Does this have to be done by a solicitor?

Thanks

Matthew hughes 01/06/2018 at 3:54 pm

Hi. I was wondering what happens if cafcass doesnt get a section 7 to me by the date that was issued at a court hearing.
Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 03/05/2018 at 3:03 pm

Unfortunately, there is little you can do if you are not the biological father. Even if you were the biological father, the court will not attempt to stop the other parent getting on with their lives. All you can do, is to hope your ex will still grant you access. You may wish to seek legal advice if you think you have a case to prevent the move.

Ben 01/05/2018 at 9:03 pm

Hi there, although I am not biologically his Dad I have been 'Daddy' to my six year old son since birth. I have never officially adopted him but have cared for him pretty much equally to his mother. His mother and I split a year and a half ago but are still technically married. She has recently met someone else and informed me last week that she is planning to move to Crete with him and our son. Is there anything I can do legally? I guess I don't have PR (technically at least) but is there anything I can do at this stage to apply for this?

Thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 23/04/2018 at 11:09 am

Your daughter's father can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order if he doesn't think it is in your daughter's best interests to leave the UK. However, much will depend upon whether your daughter wishes to leave the UK or not. At 16 while she is still under PR, her opinion will be taken seriously by the courts. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Shel 22/04/2018 at 8:42 pm

Hi I want to move to Australia with my partner of 10 years and my 16 year old daughter but my ex, my daughters father says HELL NO..Can he actually stop her moving out with us? Does she have to be 18? We live in the U.K. ATM

Ben\ Editor 02/03/2018 at 2:21 pm

@Distanced - don't quite get this. Has your ex gone back to the US, or is she still in the UK?

Distanced 27/02/2018 at 8:33 pm

Hi,
My ex and I had a temultuos end to our 13 year marriage. Largely financial in nature. It was exascerbated by the love we both have for our kids. She wanted to move back to the USA for a year and separate. I'm not from there so was worried for the kids so wanted us to engage in therapy to foster forgiveness at a minimum so that we could have a functional relationship post divorce (which was revealed as her real intent later). Long story short I agreed to divorce and give her full custody so that she could deal with anything that might come up in my absence. My questions are not legal but more moral and practical: since then she has interpreted that to mean that she is their only parent and can restrict and monitor my comms with the kids. The agreement we made re: contact frequency and visitation was fine for the broad strokes. I'm now seeing its limitations. While she is a good person at heart she's obviously resentful. I was patient for 8 months on her restricting contact with my kids (it was very hard as I was a hands on Dad) but then I realised that she was causing the kids to detach from me. They were exceptional kids before and are now in therapy and I believe they are suffering unnecessarily at the loss of their father. My contention is that, even while countries apart, I remain their parent and have a right to participate meaningfully in their lives. Things are slowly getting better since I insisted on a weekly call with the mother to discuss the kids and I have worked on how to make calls engaging for the kids (plus insisted that scheduled times be supported) the kids now call me spontaeneously whereas before a week would pass without contact depending on their mothers mood. I'm confident things will improve over time but am conscious that the kids only have one childhood and benefit from having both mother and father in their lives. Thoughts?

SeparatedDads Editor 12/12/2017 at 2:12 pm

Your partner may wish to speak directly to Relationships Scotland via whichfor help and advice.

Smorgan 11/12/2017 at 7:20 pm

My partner and his ex split up five years ago. She lives in Scotland with their 7 year old son, he lives in Northampton. My partner pays regularly for his son and regularly calls him. In all fairness he doesn't get to see his son as much as he would like. We have planned several times over the past few months to have his son down with us but his ex has cancelled. She has now decided to block my partners number and all of his families numbers from her phone, saying that no body is having contact. What can we do to gain regular access to his son? I'm guessing the laws are slightly different in Scotland. Any help and advice would be a massive help. Thank you

Baba 31/10/2017 at 5:39 pm

After many cases in courts, appeals I was removed from UK inspite of the fact I have two daughters UK born. I was a long over stayer in UK. The courts want proof that my daughters need me and their should be evidences that I have been in contact, pictures are not acceptable they need receipts of expenses.

I have now currently filed case in family court for Child arrangement and direct contact since my ex was not even attending calls and answer to my messages were totally silent.

The case also is not going through in the right direction, the judge not agreeing for a direct contact and foresees the case only for immigration purposes, she wants indirect contact to continue for a year then apply again, whereas I need direct contact order to support my daughters in UK since I do not have any other direct family. My ex wife totally un cooperative. Is it a crime that I need to be near my daughters and meet them on weekly basis, comfort them, love them vice versa.

Would not my daughters also be deprived of a parent ?

I cannot afford much case fees therefore current solicitors are reluctant and also have not presented my case properly. Can you please help ?

SeparatedDads Editor 06/10/2017 at 12:38 pm

If you have parental responsibility, your ex has to request your consent if she wishes to move out of the country. If you refuse, she would have to take the matter to court. However, if your ex can justify why she needs to return to her home country and is open to still wanting you to continue to have a relationship with your daughter (albeit, long distance), it is likely the court would allow this, if your ex is the primary carer of your child. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.

Tired kiwi 03/10/2017 at 11:44 pm

My wife and I separated and divorce is pending. She first moved to the uk to be closer to family and I followed to be a dad to my daughter. I have paid £ 400 a month in maintenance without fail even when unemployed . She has now reconnected with an old flame in Australia and wants to move out there with my daughter. I have since made a life in the U.K. ( Northern Ireland) and don't want to be separated from my daughter who I see 2 days a week on average and sometimes more in school holidays . Can I stop her ?

John 19/09/2017 at 9:34 am

We have been separated 4 years. My daughter is 5. She has an older half brother who is 9. My ex lives a chaotic, crazy life. She has MS which is not the issue. She is able to walk short distances and climb stairs etc. She has carers who help her with daily tasks including looking after the children. I have just discovered that almost 3 years ago one of her carers was a lad who was subsequently convicted as a paedophile. He was proved to have abused my daughter's older brother but there was no evidence of abuse of my daughter. This was all concealed from me. At the time of the incidents I was actually at court regarding neglect of my daughter but the judge said that the evidence was not sufficient to revoke our existing order. Social services report said that although they were involved with the family, they did not believe my daughter to be at risk. They did however have a safety plan in place which I was not informed of at the time. There is no need for a safety plan in my home as there is no risk. I feel so frustrated. I worry constantly but the court remain their stance of favouring the mother. Please advise me... is there any point in going back to court again? I cannot afford for the court to award her costs for me to pay. I represented myself last time and would have to again. My ex had a barrister costing her £10k.

SeparatedDads Editor 15/09/2017 at 2:33 pm

As you are the biological father of your child, wherever the mother of your child lives then you are still responsible for paying to help support your child. Your ex has to request your consent if you have parental responsibility and she wishes to move away. If you refuse, then she would have to apply to the courts for permission. In which case the court would decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your child when making a decision.

Kidder 12/09/2017 at 3:59 pm

I have been approached by my ex and her new fella asking if would be prepared to move to Canada. He is originaly from there and is a doctor so potentialy could give the kids and my ex a great life over there. As parents we all get on really well and do everything for our kids. He even has a reletive ready to offer me a job in the industry im already working in.
My concerns are things like would moving there at the same time as them affect my parental rights. What happens if i cant stay due to visa etc and what about child support. Any advise would be amazing right now.

AndyDF Editor 11/09/2017 at 2:07 pm

@SS - It's great that you still have a good relationship with your ex that she has asked you to move too. While a US citizen can immediately petition for a spouse to relocate to the US, it would be a bit more difficult for you. A lot of thought needs to go into this from either end - but I'd wait awhile yet to see how things progress. About your feelings for her; that's a different matter entirely (you obviously have been faced with the reality of losing her), and one you have to work out in your own head. The things is.. you have time here and anything could happen in the next few months. Long distance relationships are difficult, rarely straightforward and with so many variables that you will need to take a back seat, wait and watch.

SS 10/09/2017 at 5:57 pm

My ex and I separated 3 years ago and despite a few problems in the early days we have developed a good working relationship and share the care of the 2 kids (ages 3 & 6) in a roughly 60:40 split in her favour. 4 weeks ago she announced she'd "accidentally" met an American man online and was going to Chicago to stay with him. On her return it would seem they hit it off and she states she plans to marry him and move there with the kids within 2 years. As she doesn't want to damage any relationship I have with my kids she has asked if I will move there too. I immediately thought "no way!" However after much thought I start thinking why not? New life new start maintain relationship with kids. What can go wrong? She promises she'd never just take them (I have their passports anyway). I asked her what she'd do if I said no. She said she doesn't know. Hasn't mentioned going to court although I'm sure I could put up a good argument against her going and have a good chance of winning.
What do I do? Risk a new start? I have few ties in this country and have a job which I could quite easily do over there (I'm a registered nurse). She says it's amazing over there and the kids would love it and have a better life than they do here.
Incidentally, I thought I was over her. The fact she's now entered into a new relationship (albeit very suddenly) has absolutely knocked me for six and I am struggling to figure out why!

Ste 08/09/2017 at 6:55 pm

Hi my ex is planning on moveing to germany in 3 years we have a court order in place where i have my child evry weekend where do i stand if she moves and takes my child can i stop payments to her or do i still need to pay

SeparatedDads Editor 01/09/2017 at 2:32 pm

If you have parental responsibility of your children, your ex has to request your permission to take your children out of the country, If you refuse permission, your ex will have to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. If you currently only have contact to your children through a contact centre, then it is likely the court will allow this as your ex is quite firmly the resident-parent and the day-to-carer of your children. You can still request contact if the matter goes to court and the court will consider an alternative measure. Likewise, if you agree to your ex leaving the country with your children, you can come to an agreement between yourselves. However, any agreement made outside court would not be enforceable. Theoretically, you will still be responsible for paying child maintenance regardless of whether your children live in the UK or not. The Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Order (REMO) Unit helps to register and enforce child maintenance orders internationally. However, there are exceptions and some countries that do not fall under the REMO remit. Here is a list of countries where the payment of child maintenance is enforceable by law

Clark K 31/08/2017 at 9:29 pm

Hi, my ex has requested to take my children to live in Greece and then Cyprus July 2018 as she is getting Married in December to a squady and he will live over there in the barracks. I am on the birth certificate but see my children via contact centre as court granted me. Can someone help me understand my rights at this point? Do I legal rights to stop my children going, if I let them go legally do I have any rights in the future? Will i have to pay maintenance when I won't see them anymore? I pay £266.00 a month atm. Thank you for any advice you can give me.

SeparatedDads Editor 24/08/2017 at 3:54 pm

You can still file for abduction of your children have been taken from the country without consent

John 24/08/2017 at 3:42 am

I have PR, my partner left to UK with my kids under pretence of a holiday and now wants to stay. If my kids get a UK passport are they officially residents of UK? Do I have to sign anything for this to happen and if I do am I relinquishing my rights to bring them home under The Hague convention?

Chilli 18/08/2017 at 7:57 pm

Hi there, we're from the UK. My son is now 8 and currently lives during the week at his mums and weekends with me and his step mum. Myself and my ex have no formal agreements in place and for the most part it's quite amicable. My son has told us his mum hits him, only ever feeds him ready meals and never does anything with him. He's been asking for a couple of years now to live with us instead, we would love him to but with his mums aggressive moods and tendency to threaten us with court we've not broached the subject. My wife (sons stepmum) has the possibility of continuing her career in the states, somewhere we all love and would all gladly move to. At 8 would the courts take my sons testimony about treatment and his wishes into account?

TRE 21/07/2017 at 9:05 pm

Hi.

I am currently going to court, originally to refuse to allow my ex to remove my son from the jurisdiction but now I am just trying to get a court ordered visitation schedule. They are moving to the USA. My main question is costs. I am saying that the costs of returning my son to the UK should fall on them as they are the ones removing him. They are expecting me to contribute toward the air travel but I have other kids who will have to suffer financially if I now have to put more money away each year for air travel. Would a court agree? I don't think it's fair that I lose my son and I have to pay more for that fact, and disadvantage my other children when I am not the one imposing this change.

I will actually be funding one trip a year where I will go visit him there and I will use the existing child support to fund that trip.

SeparatedDads Editor 17/07/2017 at 11:28 am

I'm afraid it is difficult to say, as what you committed was effectively abduction. However, due to his age he will be allowed to voice his opinion. The court will always decide what it thinks is in the child's best interests making it impossible to predict what the outcome might be.

Colsty 15/07/2017 at 3:56 am

I am Australian and my son was born in Australia, he is 15 years 11 months, turning 16 in two weeks.
He also has Argentinian citizenship ( my ex wife is Argentinian).
When he was 4 years old my wife took him to Argentina and didn't come back. I moved to Argentina to be near him, we divorced there. I worked in Argentina and payed maintenance, I had access to my son during school holidays and some weekends. One year and half ago I returned to live in Australia, the court in Argentina let me bring my son for six months to Australia, he didn't go back to Argentina when he was due to do so, he was 14 years old and asked to stay here, I notified immigration about the situation, he told his mum he wanted to stay in Australia to live with me and was happy here. Now, only two weeks before turning 16, we are going through process in court in Australia because his mother wants him back in Argentina and has filed a case thru Hague convention. My son is a young man who wants to stay in Australia. What are his rights?

SeparatedDads Editor 13/07/2017 at 12:10 pm

There are very few circumstances where you can make your spouse leave the home. You can’t change the locks or force your wife to leave, the best way is to try to take time to figure out what you both want and need, please see CAB link here for more information. If you cannot agree between you regarding bills and finances, then mediation should be suggested.

Lorron 12/07/2017 at 12:52 am

My wife what's separate and looking to get council hone. She has stop helping me pay bills towards are family home. Is there anything I can do and she will not leave

SeparatedDads Editor 29/06/2017 at 9:55 am

You must tell the Department of Immigration and Border Protection if you divorce or separate from your partner if your visa is based on your relationship. If you wish to return to the UK with your children and your wife does not agree, then you would have to apply to court. If you leave the country with your children and without authorisation from your wife, then you may be charged with abduction.

Lou 27/06/2017 at 3:07 am

My wife and I are seperated and on a 457 visa ( I'm defacto on her visa) . How do I proceed to return myself and children back to UK? Both have parental responsibility with an interim parenting order in place.

SeparatedDads Editor 26/06/2017 at 1:46 pm

The Philippinesis part of the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (Hague Abduction Convention). If you did not give permission for your ex to take your child out of the country then this may be classed as abduction, for more information.

Franz 25/06/2017 at 1:10 am

Hi
I was not married to my australian bf and im filipina my ex took my son to australia what should i do. I dont live in australia but i want to take back my son as he is not capable looking after our son. Is it possible i can bring back my son to philippines.

Suifc83 20/06/2017 at 12:15 pm

Hi,my son is 5 months old and we live with my his father, but I want to go back to my country ( portugal) . My partner says is not going with us. I'm a bit afraid he will say that he won't allow me to take our son with me. So I want to know what arregements we have to do for me to move abroad with my son in case he agrees or not. And how much will it cost and how much time. We are not married.

SeparatedDads Editor 12/06/2017 at 3:54 pm

I can only suggest you seek legal advice as unless your ex agrees to give you access, this would be a matter for the courts. You do not say when your ex moved to the UK - but if she moved without your permission (with the children) and you are the registered father of your children she could be guilty of committing abduction.

Chubby 09/06/2017 at 9:51 am

My ex wife moved to uk with our three children without my permission and she deprives me of being in their lives. I've never lived without my children and it's painful ?? I've faced numerous abuse, threats and all sorts of punishments from her. Now I don't know if I'll ever see my children again. Please help me.

Surfer 21/05/2017 at 4:06 pm

My ex wife moved my sons to the US with my consent 18 months ago. We have a drawn up solicitors agreement that I will travel twice a year to see bits in lieu of maintenance. She now wishes to pursue legal means (US lawyer) to get maintenance from me, is she able to? Where do I stand and what is she able to achieve with legal action from the USA? Thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 09/05/2017 at 10:00 am

Child maintenance and child access have no bearing on each other and are not linked i.e finances should not be used as a bartering tool or as a justifiable reason. Many parents make promises and likewise find when they get to the other country cannot keep them, or in some cases do not intend to keep them. However, that is not to say a court would refuse your application if you can convince the court that leaving the country will be in the best interests of your son. Much also depends upon how old your son is (if he is over age-11, his preferences will be taken into consideration). Going to court is your only option if your ex refuses his consent. I can only suggest you seek some legal advice in order to explore your options.

haulier 08/05/2017 at 8:01 am

A bit of advice please!!
I live with my partner and her 8yr old son, and we are wanting to move to Australia but his father whom he sees every other weekend is not allowing us to go.
We have offered to pay for the plane tickets for his son to come back at the school holidays. It works out that he will actually see him more this way than he already does.
He has never paid a penny for him. we have never asked for any either.
what are the options? if it was to go to court would they look favorable on that we are offering to pay for his son to be flown back every school holiday and also claim no money for maintenance. DJ

SeparatedDads Editor 19/04/2017 at 12:35 pm

Unless you have parental responsibility, I'm afraid you have no rights. I can only suggest you seek legal advice to see if you have any options.

Js1984 19/04/2017 at 3:11 am

My ex has taken my son abroad. I have not got my name on birth certificate. Do I have any rights to bring my son back.

SeparatedDads Editor 05/04/2017 at 1:46 pm

As specified in the article, you will have to request permission from your ex husband to leave the country with your children. If he refuses, then you would have to apply directly through court. If your ex is a hands-on dad with his kids, then it is understandable he will not wish to be separated from them. However, some dads will give consent if they can't see a logical way around the situation and would rather the matter not go through court. If it does go to court, the court will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. It will rarely stop a person trying to get on with their lives - but will always decide upon children's welfare first.

SeparatedDads Editor 05/04/2017 at 12:22 pm

Yes, you do need his permission. If he refuses, you would have to seek permission through the courts. However, if your ex has little to do with his children, then you are more likely to be granted the move than if he was a hands-on dad who saw them every day.

DJAM 04/04/2017 at 8:12 pm

Hi,
I need some advice if possible, I have two children with my ex-husband, we currently live in the Uk.
I'm engaged to a man in the USAF who is currently based over here but is due to go back to America in 2019.
Would my ex-husband be able to stop us returning with my soon to be husband, even though it's not by choice to relocate?
I would do everything possible for him to be in constant contact with them and plan to return to the Uk as often as possible.
Obviously I would discuss this with him when the time is right but he has a tendency to be unpleasant and was mentally abusive to me when we were together.

Clewis 04/04/2017 at 6:20 pm

I am English with two children from a previous relationship that broke down 5 years ago, my sons are 9 and 10. I am now married to a Australian man and wish to move to Australia with my two sons.
My sons father is on both birth certificates but has little contact (only via text messages) he pays no child support and has never worked he lives on the other side of the country. Do I still need his permission to take my sons to Australia. Thank you I hope you can help

SeparatedDads Editor 28/03/2017 at 10:42 am

I'm not sure how the Australian immigration office works. However, if there is no father registered on the birth certificate and he does not have PR, then in theory you should not have to provide this.

tam 27/03/2017 at 11:55 am

i want to emigrate to Australia with my daughter and partner. my daughter dad has not got parental responsibility of her, has not seen her since she was 2months old and his name is not on the birth certificate. I have secured a job already and currently applying for visas. I have been told by Australian immigration that I need to obtain a court order to say I have permission to emigrate. how do I go about this?

Matthew 13/03/2017 at 1:55 pm

Hi there,
My wife who I have been separated with for almost 2.5 years decided to take my kids with her to Australia for the Christmas break. It has now been almost 2.5 months and she is still yet to return. She enrolled the kids into a new school without my knowledge and the current school in the uk have now released the kids places.
I have joint ownership of the family home pay all bills and mortgage still. I also pay for my rent.
I feel heartbroken that my kids are gone and my wife has not shown any proof that she will be coming back. I can not afford a lawyer and my business is now not doing well. Here are my options, please help:
1) move into the marital home with my partner - not ideal but need to know if there are any legal implications. I jointly own the home with my wife. But she has been living there with the kids until now.
2) rent the house out but what do we do with all the belongings? Pay for a storage unit, deal with agency fees and tenants - won't be able to account rent.

SeparatedDads Editor 28/02/2017 at 2:57 pm

Much will depend upon whether there is a variation of circumstances on your ex's side which means she is justified to apply. Even if the child maintenance part had been ordered by the court, if her circumstances have changed and she can give a justifiable reason why she should now apply (i.e break up of relationship etc), then she would be eligible. It is also highly unlikely your daughter would be moved form a parent as a result of this order. Please also be aware, if the decision is being decided by the CSA/CMS and it lands in her favour, you may be liable for back pay from the date your ex launched the claim - I would make sure you check you will not, as you do not want to be caught short.

TezViper 28/02/2017 at 9:03 am

Hi There,
I wonder if someone can help. I am having an ongoing issue concerning my ex and the CSA in Australia. Basically in 2010 my ex said she wanted to move to Australia with my 6 year old daughter. AT the time I was obviously not happy. The offered several things to make it possible. Would pay for my flight every year, would not claim CSA and several other things. After speaking to solicitors, the advice was that I take it as she would probably be given permission in court if she applied. I was advised to get it put into a consent order though which I did.
Anyway here we are 5 years down the line and she started a claim last year which I have so far objected to on the basis of the court order. I have just got off the phone with them and it is going for decision. It could take 90 days.
This is incredibly frustrating and stressful right now and any advice would be appreciated if anyone has come across this before.
I have a copy of the court order if anyone would like to take a look. Apparently she is saying that the part about the CSA is a notation and is not ordered by the court. The wording is that it states upon the parties agreeing each of these terms ( one of which is no CSA) that the court orders that my daughter can be removed.
Anyone got any ideas please??

SeparatedDads Editor 24/02/2017 at 3:08 pm

If you wish to take your son to live abroad permanently, you will need the permission of the other parent with parental responsibility. Regardless of whether the mother of your child has seen your child, she still has PR. If your ex agrees, for your peace of mind this is probably best arranged through a solicitor. If your ex refuses, you will need to apply to court for a relocation application, or leave to remove.

Ben 24/02/2017 at 1:11 pm

Hi there I need some advice,i currently reside in the UK with my son (8 years old) and am considering moving to the USA to be with my wife with him. my sons mother doesn't see him regularly even though she lives a 15 min drive from us. She did not have ANY contact with him from 30/01/2016 until the 02/10/2016 not even a card or phone call on his birthday and since then has seen him in total for about 4 or 5 days.Does she still retain any parental responsibility for him?I would never take him out of the country without advising her and arranging all types of communication between them like skype, email, text and telephone (even though I don't think she would use them as she doesn't now) as well as time together when we are back in the UK and I am aware that I need to obtain some for of consent from her for us to move. but can you ad vise of the FORMAT of the consent? I'm assuming that she'd need to sign a document but I'm not sure of its content and whether or not it needs to be witnessed or not.Any advice would be great at this point.Regards

Tana 18/02/2017 at 12:19 am

Hi, I am from Argentina, my husband English and we live in England with our British /Argentinian 2 year old.
MY husband is the worker and I am a stay at home mom.
If I have a home in my home country, the health system is free like the NHS, the school system is free like in the UK with free daycare since 45 day old babies, so I have a place to leave her while I work/look for work, and also have family that helps me financially. Is it posible that if I separate and want to go back home with her, a court would rule in my favour to leave the UK?
My husband, when we argue, tells me thst since he is the one that works, he would get to keep our daughter if we split. Is it not taken in considerstion the fact that he can work becausr I look after our daughter and we dont pay daycare?
Are casea like mine usually difficult to rule in favouur of the mom to leave the country, since I would not be able to stand on my feet with how difficult daycare cost is and a single parent? And I would be able to donit in Argentina?
Thank you!

Chris.t 15/02/2017 at 4:34 pm

My Canadian ex wife wants to get dual citizenship for our 7 year old son and a Canadian passport. My so and I are British but I'm afraid she might take my son and move to Canada without my permission if he's a Canadian citizen. Does anyone know where I can find any information on this?

Jenny 08/02/2017 at 7:18 pm

@Ian thank you for your reply. We already have his passport, they did ask for details from the Mother, we gave them the info we knew such as name and DOB and told them that we have no idea where she is, hence why we can't send her birth certificate and that she has been absent for three years now and they sent us the passport after that statement.
I am wondering how much it'll cost through court and if she'll try using her power of parental responsibility out of spite and won't give her consent.
We tried finding her, via social media etc. also her parents seem like they don't know where she is or don't want to know. It's a pain.

IB65 Editor 08/02/2017 at 11:48 am

@Jenny - wouldn't you have to get consent fromt he mother to apply for the boy's passport anyway? By law you're supposed to get consent to move away from any parent who has PR. The right way to do it would be to apply to court - or it can be classed as abduction. But if you apply through court, you shouldn't have a problem getting the go-ahead if the mother doesn't see the child. Ian.

Jenny 07/02/2017 at 7:19 pm

Hello,

I hope you can help me.
I am from Germany, living in the UK since 3 years. I have 14 year old boy still living in Germany, am currently pregnant and have a 4 yer old son living with me.
My partner since 3 years has an 8 year old son from a previous relationship. We are a happy patchwork family and are thinking about moving to Germany together. My partner and his ex have shared parental responsibility though my partner has the right that his son is to live with him. We have not heard of his ex partner for 3 years now. She has the address and his phone number. Her parents get in touch once a year and send presents for Christmas and Birthday which is in January. They never call or ask to meet him. The Mother is absent, we have no idea where she is, also she has no interest, she never sends a card or nothing, since 3 years.
Where do we stand if we decide to move to Germany, do we need her permission? The boy doesn't even remember her and doesn't want her in his live. And she obviously isn't interested in being a part either.
I hope you can give me some advice because we want to move before the baby is due.
Thank you very much in advance.

Kind regards

Jenny

SeparatedDads Editor 31/01/2017 at 10:31 am

In this instance you would have to seek legal advice.

tata 30/01/2017 at 10:17 am

I like some advices please, my never married my ex and he is not registered in to the birth certificate of my son who is now 7 but I let him to spent significant time with him until my son reports that he was unhappy with his dad so I stop the contact. Now the father send me o court for access but I wanted to leave to return to my country. do I still can do it even if a have a court hearing date my son has only my nationality we are registered expatriates from my country. What will happen if a don't attende the court ?

HelpNeeded 24/01/2017 at 2:32 pm

I am running out of places to get advice.

My wife wants to take my child back home to the Philippines for 2 weeks. I have a good relationship with my wife, and a strong relationship with my 9 year old child. I am unable to travel with them, because of work commitments.

Whilst I am fairly certain my wife will not abduct my child, I am just wondering if there are any steps I can take to prevent it happening, short of purely stopping him from going which would have a calamitous effect on our relationship.

She has a sister based in the UK and another in New Zealand. Her sister once offered her a job elsewhere in the UK, and my wife was willing to accept it and take our child with her.

If, for arguments sake, my wife disappeared with my child, would her family members be questioned by police especially since it can be proven that they my be helping her financially?

SeparatedDads Editor 23/01/2017 at 2:07 pm

As you both have parental responsibility, theoretically you would have to apply to court and the court would make a decision based upon what is in the best interests of your children. As specified in the article, if you take the children without your husband's consent, he could try to bring you and them back through the courts and the worst case scenario is; you could be charged with abduction. However, much depends upon how long you have lived in France and whether the children are established/schooled/have extendd family there etc. If the children are living with you, you cannot get a job and are struggling financially and you have a supportive family network in the UK, there is a good chance you will be allowed to leave the country, should the matter have to go to court.Therefore, I suggest you seek some legal advice in both France and the UK to explore your options.

Nanna 22/01/2017 at 5:24 pm

My husband and I are both English living in France and have separated but he says I am not allowed to take my children back home to England to live. We all struggle speaking French and I can't get a job so I have no other solution, will I get in trouble if I take them home? He works in France he has a good job.

qwertyyaj 21/01/2017 at 8:24 pm

my ex and i are both from zimbabwe but resided to UK and started a life there but our marriage went south but never got legally divorced and he took my two kids back to zimbabwe without my knowing and they were both born there ,my daughter eventually moved back but my son stayed in zimbabwe with his father but now his father is having financial problems and has left my son with his uncle as he has gone to South Afica to look for a job ,how can i get my son back ? he is only 15

Father 17/01/2017 at 6:48 pm

My wife and I have been separated since 2014. We have a 5 year old son who lives with her. We signed a custody agreement that allows her to live in Europe and USA as we all hold dual citizenship. Now she is planning to move to Japan for work. Can she do that without my permission?

SeparatedDads Editor 05/12/2016 at 12:51 pm

If your ex is refusing all negotiation, then you would have to seek legal advice regarding taking the matter to court to apply for a C100 contact order.

Upsetdad 04/12/2016 at 6:24 pm

I have a 10 year old son who moved back to the UK in August this year with his mother who I gave permission to. She has now decided as I have a new relationship that I cannot speak to my son at all. She has blocked me on FaceTime, changed her landline telephone number and will not answer her mobile phone. Up until 3 weeks ago I spoke with my son everyday. I live abroad what can I do?

Dickie 28/11/2016 at 8:28 pm

Hi i am a dad that has his son live with him permanently and has no contact with his mother due to his own feelings my son is 16 in february and takes his Gcse's in june i wish to emmigrate to New Zealand for work life and due to my age and to be honest for his future and experience!
how does it stand woth the education system as now they are supposed to stay at school until 18 if live in the country but hopefully he would go to college n NZ.
But although he doesnt speak to his mother she can stop this due to being his mother!
so i have to take her to court to get her permission and she has the right to stop it to no advantage and will only push them further apart and can use the education as a tool!
im 41

SeparatedDads Editor 17/11/2016 at 10:22 am

I am very sorry to hear this. I'm afraid you cannot apply to live in the UK on the basis that you are the father of two children. You would have to organise a visa independently, if you can i.e a visitor visa or a work/study visa. Otherwise, your only alternative is to seek advice from an international family law solicitor regarding an application for access, but unfortunately this will be costly.

Eddie 16/11/2016 at 4:24 am

Hello,

this is my situation:
my wife (british) took away our kids (1 an 3) to the U.K, we got married in Chile, I am a Chilean citizen. Today she lives in the U.K. with her mum, I am in Chile, I am trying to get to have a life with her and she after 2 months decided that I am no longer necesary in her life, so they kids don't need me either.
I don't know what to do, I can just apply for residence in the U.K. just because I am the father of 2 british children, my wife would not help me either with the spousal visa.
I am facing the fact that I have lost my children.

I appreciate your help,
thank you very much,

Kind regards,
Eddie.

SeparatedDads Editor 13/09/2016 at 2:24 pm

If you have parental responsibility then your ex should have asked for consent to move away from the UK. Therefore, this is essentially 'abduction' and if you wish to pursue this you would need to seek legal advice.

Upsetdad 13/09/2016 at 3:22 am

I have 2 girls (9 &7) from previous relationship which ende 5 years ago. Since parting have lived around corner from mum, for 5 years have (by amicable agreement) looked after kids on alternate nights. 3 years ago met new partner, a German lady who was living in France. She quickly fell pregnant, moved to uk to live with me and we now have a 2 year old son. We have had huge problems recently, many of my doing. I returned from work a couple of days ago to find a note saying she has moved back to her parents in Germany, taking my son, and our relationship was over and she and my son was staying in Germany.....do I have any legal rights, what should I do? I want a proper relationship with my son, I want him and his sisters (who are very loving and close to one another) to be able to spend proper time and grow up together.

SeparatedDads Editor 22/07/2016 at 10:59 am

You would have to take some legal advice in the US regarding this - but yes, she can try to prevent it. If your wife is against your children visiting you in the UK, then it's not her but you who would have to apply though court.

No6 20/07/2016 at 4:28 am

Me and my family all live in the US. As we are slowly getting divorced, I told my children that I had plans to go back to live in England. We talked about visitations, travel back and forth US/UK, etc ... My wife learned about that from them before I had a chance to tell her and is now furious. She took my kids' passports away and hid them somewhere. She has also warned me that she would never allow them to visit me in England because she "cannot trust me". Is she allowed to do that without court orders or anything from the state saying that she could?

SeparatedDads Editor 18/07/2016 at 10:34 am

Although the legal systems of some countries within the UK are distinctly different, (eg Scotland has different laws to England and Wales), all matters involving child movement are governed by the same laws. If you move your child within the UK, it cannot be classed as abduction, as long as you have Parental Responsibility. However, if you decide to move within the UK, your ex (if he has PR) can still seek the return of your children through court proceedings. In order to prevent the hassle of court proceedings and potentially having to move back somewhere after a recent relocation, it is always best to notify your former partner of your intent to move. If they do not want you to move, they can instigate court proceedings in the form of a Prohibited Steps Order under section 8 of the Children Act 1989 to attempt to prevent this. Therefore, if you wish to stay in Scotland without consent, then I suggest before you make any decision, you take some professional legal advice.

Kate 17/07/2016 at 6:52 am

I was living in Dublin with my partner he was abusive and controlling so I left to go on holiday to my family in Scotland taking my three children with me I don't want to go back because his abusive ways are getting worse both verbal any financial what can I do

Zubes 11/07/2016 at 1:40 pm

My partners was married in the UK and his wife took their child and unborn to live in Australia without his knowledge or permission. It has been over 5 years now and she refuses him to have contact with them but expects child support. What is his rights with them please? Thank you

Zubes 11/07/2016 at 1:36 pm

My partner was married in the UK and his wife left to live in Australia with his child and unborn without his permission. She refuses him contact with the children and expects child support. This has been over 5 years. What is his rights? Thankyou

Shazza 29/06/2016 at 9:05 pm

I have recent,y married and my husband is in the army. I want to relocate to cyorus with him where he is based st the minute. However I have 4 children from a previous relationship, I have spoken to their dad and he is happy for me to take the children as long as he can come out to see the children and we bring the children back to the uk to see him some times. I don't have a problem with this however I do not trust him. If I was to type a letter stating that he has giving permission for me to take the children to live over seas and that I will not stop him visiting the children and that we will also bring the children back to visit him and us both sign it would that be suffice if he later tried to say he hadn't gave permission. I would do 2 copies of the letter and we would sign both copies and then keep a copy each. Neither of us can afford solicitor fees so was hoping this would be a way round it. Any advice or where I can get an appropriate letter template would be appreciated. Thank you

SeparatedDads Editor 17/06/2016 at 12:55 pm

I am sorry to hear this and it must be very difficult for you at a time when you need your family. However, if you return home without his consent, it may be classed as abduction. Your only option is to get permission from the courts. If you do not have the money to pay the hefty solicitor's fees, you can self-litigate, You may also get a reduction or fees waived on court applications if you are on a low income. Please also which defines abduction. It really is better to get the matter sorted out before you leave than to suffer the repercussions of what could happen after.

Abby 16/06/2016 at 5:17 pm

Hi, I'm looking for advise. I'm from the UK, came to Australia in2005 on my own but met an Irishman. We ended up having a baby in 2010 and since then I've wanted to go hone but he always convinced me to say a bit longer always promised we could go home. We stayed coz there was no work in uk at the tone of wanting to return. So we made a go of it here had another baby who has just turned 4. And got married 2 years ago. At xmas I went home for a holiday to return back to Australia and on the same day my husband leaves us. He cleaned the bank out and turned really nasty. He was smoking drugs and it literally sent him mad. It's been the worse 6 months of my life. I'm living a nightmare and now he's refusing to get me return back to UK to live. He's saying I have to stay here until girls are 18, I've waited so long to go home back to my home county and now he's refusing me that choice. I'm so scared, I just wat my family . My kids are extremely close to there uncles, aunts and cousins. I don't no what to do? I now I'll have to fight it was usual and I don't have the money and now I'm trapped.
This guy I see now (husband) is nothing like the 1 I met 10 years ago.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated

SeparatedDads Editor 16/06/2016 at 2:53 pm

You would need to seek legal advice regarding this, as your ex should have asked your consent if you have PR. A court may be able to act to bring your ex and your child back to England, but you will have to pursue the matter quickly and once again through the courts.

J 16/06/2016 at 9:58 am

My ex left my house with my 2 years old son, I went to mediation but she didn't turn up and I applied to the court to have contact with my son and when my ex got letter from the court she relocated to Scotland. Can someone help me on what I can do and if the court can do something about it since she moved to Scotland.

SeparatedDads Editor 09/06/2016 at 2:37 pm

You can contact the Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders (REMO) Unit via the link here as the Phillipines is listed under the UN as a reciprocal country, meaning you should be able to claim. I hope this helps.

Naida 08/06/2016 at 11:42 pm

Hello,
I am a Filipina, my ex is European. He went here in the Philippines, got me pregnant, waited for the baby to be born, and left to go back to his country. We didn't have any issues until he started disappearing on us in December 2015, he left in September 2015. He would send 25 to 50 eur a month, only from January of this year. I didn't complain about it, because I am worried he might be needing money too. But recently, he hasn't returned my calls. He hasn't emailed nor has he sent us any text messages. I'm already looking at taking legal action for my 10 month old. Our daughter's name is under his. I am worried that one day he might use the money he sent us as a reason to get my child from me, or a proof that he is sending money (the money was never enough though) when I was the one who sacrificed everything. I don't know where to start and who to approach. I wonder if you can help. Thank you!

SeparatedDads Editor 31/05/2016 at 2:29 pm

I am sorry to hear this. If you have parental responsibility then your ex should have asked for your consent to move out of the area and if your consent was refused, she should have applied through the courts for permission. If you wish to further your parental responsibility rights then I suggest you seek legal advice regarding your options, as you may be able to apply for an order to request your ex to return to the UK. However, this can not be guaranteed as it is up to the court to decide what it thinks is in your children's best interests. I hope this helps.

Shaun 31/05/2016 at 10:00 am

Hi I have recently split up from my partner
And I have just heard she has gone back to her home town in Southern Ireland and taken our two children she is also pregnant with our third child I'm on the birth certificate and I'm going out of my mind what can I do I can understand that she wants to live near her family but she is saying I can only go there to vist them and she will not allow me to bring them to England to see there fsmily here I have been told I could go to police and have her returned but I'm trying to see both sides I just want to no that I can see my kids

willie 28/04/2016 at 12:42 pm

Hey I need some assistance if possible, im a south african that married a uk citizen, my daughter was also born in the uk, thus having uk citizenship, we got divorced about 3 years back and both got awarded parental rights over our now 7 year old daughter, all of us is resident in south africa at the moment. They want to my ex wants to emigrate with my daughter to ireland, where can I get a sample or template for a document with a layout for visitation and cost involved in travel etc they have my consent, just want sort of a formal document.

Thank you in advance

Regards

Willie

SeparatedDads Editor 28/04/2016 at 10:51 am

If you cannot afford the legal fees you can self-litigate, please see link: Legal Aid Withdrawal: How to Represent Yourself, here which many parents are doing with success, if they prepare their cases well. You would have to prove to the courts why is is not in your daughter's best interests to leave the country and how difficult it will be for you both to maintain a family relationship. Remember, a court will look at it from your daughter's perspective not necessarily yours. So family ties, education and all the elements that give your child structure will help make your case more solid. I'm afraid I cannot predict what a court may decide, it depends on the case your ex presents as to why she thinks it is in your daughter's best interests. I wish you the best of luck. Do as much research as you can and educate yourself with the right information in order to be able to put a good case forward. Please also see: Using a McKenzie Friend in Court, here which may help. As will our Separated Dads forum.

SeparatedDads Editor 27/04/2016 at 10:43 am

This does seem very unfair. However, there are unfortunatley no specific rules here unless they are directed through the family courts as part of the court order. If you lived in the UK, you could apply for a 'special expenses variation' (if you had a child maintenance order), which takes travel into consideration and would re-assess the child maintenance you would have to pay accordingly. However, as you have a family-based arrangement travel expenses are something you would have to agree between yourselves. The only way around it I can see is if you have a UK arrangement order set up through the courts, then you could apply for a variation to that order, but of course this in itself would cost.

davidcam 27/04/2016 at 1:44 am

Hi

I recently recieved an email from my ex-partner telling me she is moving to New Zealand with her partner and that our daughter was going with her. I have seeked advice from a solicitor and I am going to fight this. However, what I would liketo know is what the chances our of my sucess.

To give you some background, my daughter is 6 and I see my daughter every other weekened. Although, thats not out of choice, I pay my more than I should in maintenance and I have never been difficult about anything other than wanting to see my daughter more regualarly.

My biggest concern is not how much it will cost to fight this, even though it will leave me in debt. Its what are my chances of actually winning?

Danishpastry 26/04/2016 at 8:58 am

I am Danish, moved back to Denmark 1.5 years ago following a very difficult separation having lived with an Englishman for 25 years. My son who is not 13 ended up living with his dad as his dad took out legal action to prevent me even showing schools in Denmark to our son. We are struggling to agree on child maintenance, can't agree on a private arrangement, seem to get stuck trying to either follow UK or DK guidelines and how to incorporate the cost of about 10 flightht a year for our son. My ex now suggests I pay for all flight costs, UK child maintenance rates but also insists that I pay his costs of travelling to/from the airport with our son (45 drive or just over an hour by public transport). I feel very uncomfortable about this as he is now stating he won't help by taking our son to/from the airport unless I pay him the minimum cost of public transport or if it involves leaving around 6.30 on a weekend that I pay him for his petrol and car parking so he can sleep for a bit longer. Danish guidelines advice parents share the cost of the child seeing as much of both parents as possible even if one parent moves abroad. I am struggling to find any UK guidance on how parents can come to agreements on travel costs if one parent lives back in country of origin. I just feel very uncomfortable with the idea that I am paying my ex to take our son to the airport since I pay for the flights anyway. It feels a bit as if I am hiring my ex to do something which is important for our child, taking him to the airport to see his mum, grandparents, cousins etc. I regard it as an issue separate to child maintenance payments which we will have to agree separately. I look forward to any advice/experience you have with this area.

SeparatedDads Editor 15/04/2016 at 1:50 pm

If you think your partner may take your son without your consent then you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. I hope this helps.

mummy3 14/04/2016 at 3:50 pm

My partner/baby daddy is an Italian resistant and works away. We have an 18 month old son together who is resistant in the UK and lives with me. His father works away 4 months at a time then is back in Italy where we go and visit him. This time we will not be able to visit the 2 month duration due to commitments (college) but will be able to visit 2-3 weeks. Now his father, is saying he is going to take our son over to Italy without me due to him having to stay there to complete work related training, which i don't want to happen...his father is on his birth certificate but dose not live with us nor recite in the UK. Where do i stand legally? can i block him from leaving the country without me? We have had a complicated relationship since his birth, i cant help to think he will go there, and i wont get him back. please help

SeparatedDads Editor 13/04/2016 at 12:04 pm

Regardless of whether the mother sees your children, you would still have to apply though the courts for permission to take your children to live abroad as any situations in which you leave the UK with your child without official consent, as specified in the article, can be classed as abduction. If your aim is to move permanently with your child to a foreign country and your other partner does not agree with the move, you will find some obstacles in your way. To be granted a move you must prove to a court that you have a reasonable and realistic plan which has the best interests of your child's welfare at heart. Obviously, if your plan involves taking your child to a country where contact with the mother will be limited, your child's welfare will be called into question. The law will always try to consider the child's feeling in these situations, depending on age and understanding. Children over the age of 11 will normally have a deciding say in the relocation, while if a teenager expresses a wish to remain in the UK, it is very rare that a court will demand that they leave with the parent.

Cyrtis 12/04/2016 at 1:08 pm

Hi , I'm a father of 3 children who live with me and my new wife who is NOT the mother, the children's mother does not see the children and has made it quite clear through text and the odd phone call to myself with I do have records does not want to see the children again , in the 3 yrs we have been 4 yrs we have been separated the mother has only seen the 4 times, my self and my new wife are looking to emigrate to Austrailia what rights do I have and what legal advice do I need to do this , many thanks Curtis .ps at the mo there is no legal papers signed that I am the full time parent .

claire 26/03/2016 at 8:16 am

My ex partner hasn't seen his son fir a year, he has been named on birth cert. I would like to move to the Netherlands to live with my partner. Does ex have to give permissions, even though he doesn't bother or has never paid a penny?

SeparatedDads Editor 21/03/2016 at 12:43 pm

If you have parental responsibility then your wife will will have to ask for your consent, if the move does not work out. However, she will have the option to take the matter to court, if you do not consent and it would be left to the court to decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. You don't say how old they are, but if they are over age 11, then their own opinion will be taken into account regarding where they wish to live. Let's hope it doesn't come to this and you can both start afresh looking on the positive side of your reconcilliation.

daddy1 18/03/2016 at 8:13 pm

Hi, i am a uk resident who moved to south africa and married a SA resident and had 2 children with her,we divorced and the child court in soutyh africa gave both of us parental responsibility. i then moved back to England and have stayed in contact with my ex wife and children and have been supporting them. she now wants to emigrate to England and wants to live with me and start a fresh with a view of putting our family back together. i have booked one way tickets and they will be here on April 1st, if she decides she wants to move back permanently to south africa and take my children away and i do not want my children to leave,do i have a right not to consent???? both my children are british citizens too.

SeparatedDads Editor 16/03/2016 at 11:52 am

You don't say where your ex is living, or if your son is living abroad or in the UK, which makes it very difficult to advise on. If he is living in the UK, you can go through the courts and apply for a contact order. To find out where he is you will also need to use the C4 form, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. On the other hand, if your ex has left the country with your son without your permission, then this may be classed as abduction

Roxy 15/03/2016 at 3:17 pm

My son is 14 years old , he went to live with his father When he was 12 years old, his father doesn't want me to know about his education or anything about my son, I don't even know where he lives. Even more he decided to change him school without even informing me. I haven't heard from my son for several months, his father won't tell me how he is or tell him to call me to make sure he is okay. I'm worry my son is gone missing or something happen to him. I called his new school but they won't let me know if he is attending there school there or give he any information or anything , they told me that I should ask the father the primary career to add me as contact, but he won't do that. I am desperate to know how is my son wellbeing. If the school won't add me as contact and his father won't, what rights gave I got as a mother to know about my son wellbeing.

SeparatedDads Editor 15/03/2016 at 2:49 pm

You would really need to seek legal advice here. One option is to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order, a PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. However, as your wife is an illegal immigrant, this complicates issues, therefore a solicitor would be able to give you the best advice on how to fight for your son to remain in the UK.

Graggler 14/03/2016 at 9:16 pm

My wife is American and I'm British. She's over here in the uk. There is also my stepdaughter and son. My wife and stepdaughter have overstayed there visas and are trying to take my son away back to America. My wife is abusive and has been ever since my son was born when it all changed. In short, I don't trust her to treat him right as she sometimes hurts him and makes him cry to make me angry/sad and because I've decided to leave her she's getting worse. I really stress with worry all day at work and she keeps him out until he falls asleep so I nev get to see him at all. I don't want her to leave the country with like she keeps threatening. I love my son more than life itself and I want to raise him right and be around all his life. Can I stop her from taking him? She's overstayed her visa by about three years.

SeparatedDads Editor 14/03/2016 at 11:16 am

You would have to contact the courts or your solicitor directly regarding this.

C 13/03/2016 at 7:44 am

My friend is trying to travel to SOuth Africa, she was divorced 8 years ago. Where can she find or get a copy of the contact order that set out her child arrangements in the divorce?
She's travelling Tuesday and will be unable to go without this :(

Me again 20/02/2016 at 11:58 am

I am Romanian , gave birth to a baby in uk , registered the father in the birth certificate ( my bad ) , we are not married he's Italian . We don't get well and I would like to go in Romania with my baby , he does not agree with this . What I can do to take my baby with me ? Baby has Romanian birth certificate .

Annala 17/02/2016 at 10:52 am

I would like to know if ,, mirror orders ,, are enforced in Italy ? Thank you

SeparatedDads Editor 12/02/2016 at 9:52 am

I am sorry to hear this. Your only recourse is to seek some legal advice from an international family law solicitor.

SeparatedDads Editor 11/02/2016 at 12:44 pm

I am sorry to hear this. In the first instance, if you think your ex may leave the area, country with your children, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. At the same time you should also apply for a Contact Order through the courts if you wish to see your children. Please see article: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here. However, I assume your solicitor has informed you of this already. With regards to your thoughts on your ex 'poisoning' your children's minds, please see link: Ex Partners and Parental Alienation Syndrome, here which may highlight some issues that may be recognisable. I hope this helps.

Dazzle 11/02/2016 at 11:15 am

I am being denied any contact at all phonecalls Skype anything with my daughter who is in.germany with my very recent ex fiancee she is only 14 months old I have tried emailing texts calls all being ignored what do I do?

jay 10/02/2016 at 10:38 pm

My ex partner of 2 years is stopping me from seeing my kids. She has threatened to take them away and selling up and saying you won't see the kids ever again and also saying she wants me out there LIFES for good. We are not divorced yet and my name is on the birth certificates just want to know were I stand. Am a good father and I haven't seen them for a few weeks she is using them as a weapon and she is saying the kids don't want to stay with me or want me I think she is poisoning there minds. What can I do I have a lawyer but she says she is the main carer but we are still technically married can I get some advice and help please ?

SeparatedDads Editor 08/02/2016 at 12:57 pm

It is highly unlikely your ex will be granted custody of your child, if he is not fully part of his life, as the courts would not consider it in your child's best interests. However, if your ex has Parental Responsibility, then you will have to ask for his consent if you wish to move abroad with your child and if your ex refuses, you may have to take the matter to court.

Mrs Elizabeth 07/02/2016 at 7:06 pm

My ex partner has been in and out of my sons life since 10 weeks due to going to prison spending over 3 years away from him out of his 4 half years of being here. Since then my son always lived with me always allowed his family access to our son, I have moved on now pregnant and set to marry few months after my daughter birth. My fiance is kurdish and been declined for a visa he is trying again if not successful we was planning to move over to his country which is turkey, he can provide for us all on his income alone and pay for my son to go to private English school, only if denied the visa as we want to be together as a family but my ex is now out of prison been my son once a week. Ive agreed every 3 months will fly back for 2 weeks and in the summer for longerrors which he have my son if he's at his mother's house. He now saying he is going for full custody. I don't know what to do from here I am besides myself with worry as me and my son never been apart .

SeparatedDads Editor 02/02/2016 at 12:27 pm

He cannot make you move back, if he once gave consent. All the details you give point to someone who allowed the process to happen, meaning he would have very little argument for requesting you return, especially if the children are established in schools, and have established lives etc. If he disagreed with the move, he should have made his own legal move five years ago.

Jeanine 01/02/2016 at 8:34 pm

My ex and I are both UK citizens. I moved to Italy 5 years ago. My ex knew for about 1 year before I moved that my husband and I were planning to move to Italy. He saw photos of the house we wanted to buy. My husband and I flew over a couple of times to sort out things abroad. My ex never said he did not want the kids to go. He has even stayed at my home in Italy more than once. On one occasion he stayed with his child he has with his girlfriend. He has been over here and taken the kids away with him. He has contact with the kids by phone and email when ever he wants. The kids can phone him when ever they want as they both have their own phones. Things have sadly gone down hill of late between him and me, and he is now saying that he does not want them living here. Can he make me move back to the uk with the kids?

SeparatedDads Editor 01/02/2016 at 12:53 pm

I am not quite sure of your question. Is your ex now saying he did not give you permission to go home? If he is saying this and he wished to take the matter to court, then it would be up to the court to decide whether he gave his consent or not.

roxy 31/01/2016 at 8:18 pm

hello. I'm a British citizen and happen to be married to a Canadian citizen, we have two little baby girls, we have decided to go separate ways few weeks after a came back the Uk,. There were financial and mostly was family issues in Canada , that made him decide that for us was best to move back to the UK as a family to my home overhere but events turned around and we decided to call it quits, now he even suggested that it was best to get single tickets for me and the girls as we were not going to return, he came to the airport and he even approached to the British airline desk with us to drop us off. the events that happened the day before I left made me realise that I was better off coming back home and remain in it, as this day was very disturbing to me, his mother shouted at me very awful things the night before I left only because I said that I was gona come back, but it was nothing to do to buy my way out at all as the the non return tickets were bought few days ago and the decision was made if I said what I said was because I felt saying it , but she did not take it well instead she was awfully rude, which made me realise that I did not wanted more of her drama in my life, when I said this, they were surprised that I said that , both my ex and his mum and dad because they accept it that was no retuned for me and the girls, but if anything I thought they would be happy to hear that but his mother didn't seem to be the way she was to me that day. he even wrote and signed a letter saying that our daughters will be travelling with me only and that they will be staying with me at my house in UK and that he was fully aware we were flying with none return tickets. there is not part in the letter stating is was a holiday. Now I strongly believe that his parents are making him believe this. My decision not to carry on with the marriage, is because he was acting like a single man while in Canada and decided not to joined us for Christmas overhere and stayed with his family there instead which was a very much heartache plus since weren't very great between us anymore, plus the marital home overthere is facing reposition by the bank and he decided to rent it with out asking me, so technically he is homeless and he has not job since march last year and was relaying on his family financially to provide for us and then they thought that they could have a say in our lives because of it.
I was wondering if anyone can let me know where I'm standing with this situation please.

Loulou 31/01/2016 at 7:32 pm

Hi, I have an opportunity to move to Canada with work but I have a 13 year old child with my ex.
Short version - He has PR as we married after the birth. We went to court over custody arrangements in 2005/2006 and we had an order in place for visitation every other weekend. He came to see her twice under this order and we have never seen or heard from him since despite still having same address and email etc.
I assume that I still have to have some kind of permission to leave but how do I get this is I don't know where he is? I think the CSA have his details as they have contacted him although they have never managed to get him to pay any money so could the court get his details from them?
My concern is whether he has the ability to drag me into a long expensive court battle as he did for contact - he got legal aid and I got a £20k bill and he never bothered seeing her anyway it just seems to be driven through spite as I have money and he doesn't.

SeparatedDads Editor 27/01/2016 at 11:47 am

If you do not put him on the birth certificate, then he would have no Parental Responsibility, therefore no say over your decisions. However, he would be able to apply through the courts for parental responsibility, should you decide to omit naming him as the father.

SeparatedDads Editor 27/01/2016 at 9:51 am

The father's only recourse would be to seek legal advice from a international family law solicitor. If a contact order was/is in place through the courts, the father would need to seek to have the order enforced.

CautiousNZ 26/01/2016 at 6:16 pm

Hi
I am currently pregnant.
I'm from New Zealand and my partner is British.
We will not be married at the time I give birth but will be getting married 3 months later.
He has made jokes about not letting me take our child back to New Zealand for a holiday, I'm sure he's joking but it is quite a big deal to me.
If I don't put him on the birth certificate could he still stop me going back to New Zealand with our child if I ever needed to?

anthony 26/01/2016 at 12:25 pm

Child born 2005. Father with PR
Contact order in 2007.
International Child abduction by father with 5 months prison sentence (no court consent sought for 3 day holiday).
Mother moved to Canada in 2009 with father consent. Order registered in Canadian court
Contact denied by mother since move to Canada.
Father trying to re-establish contact with 10year son who he hasnt seen for 7years.

Help needed 25/01/2016 at 11:14 pm

My partner hasn't seen his child for 11 years. He is on birth certificate but no parental responsibility as child was born before the new law came into effect. The reason he hasn't seen child is because of a fall out with the mother, who at some point moved abroad. How would he get into contact with the mother/his child? The child was 4 when he last had contact and is now 15, would you suggest contacting the family he knows live in uk or go via solicitor?

pops 22/01/2016 at 11:40 pm

My husband has an older child he's been looking for for years... he tried to be fair & let them move so they went with option 2 & they agreed contact... but since she left the country he's had no contact whatsoever for over 7years how can we fix this? They are now back in UK but we don't want 2 approach them in person & her run away again? Plz help

Ben Editor 21/01/2016 at 11:39 am

@Chris - Regardless of the non-contact order, if he has parental responsibility the matter would still have to go to court if he does not give consent. Ben.

Chris 20/01/2016 at 9:23 pm

My partner has a 7 year old girl. Her father threatened them and a 2 year non contact order was imposed against him due to the severity of violence.
We want to move to Corfu this year.Can we do this?
Our plans were to rent for a year.
Thanks
Chris

SeparatedDads Editor 12/01/2016 at 2:56 pm

If you have Parental Responsibility, it is a criminal offence to remove a child from the UK without the permission of the other parent or order of the court (save for where the parent has a residence order and removal is for less than 28 days). Please see link: What is Abduction?

Scooter 12/01/2016 at 2:19 pm

Hi, I am a UK resident. My ex girlfriend has taken my 6 year old daughter to South Africa to live, without my knowledge nor my consent.Can she legally do this? I'm on the birth certificate and have been paying maintenance.

Edres 11/01/2016 at 10:02 pm

My name is suheyb im from Somalia living south Africa as a refugee im married with a laddy from somalia and we have 2 children her sister send her responsorship to Canada and she took my child and she was pregnant when she was living south Africa my second child she get birth in Canada and after 3month she stop contact me and im a father and i want to live my children but i don't have any power to see my children bcs of im refugee i don't have passport i need advice hw can i get my children

SeparatedDads Editor 07/01/2016 at 11:58 am

If your child's father is not registerd on the birth certificate and does not have parental responsibility then you are free to make this decision. If your ex wanted to try and stop the move, he would have to take the matter to the courts.

Don't know what to 06/01/2016 at 3:54 pm

Hi my son is 8 and his dad has only recently come in to his life we was never married and he isn't on his birth certificate I now have a new partner but he lives in America and I would love to move over there and start a new life with him and my son but he will try to stop me does he have any rights to do that if so is there anyway around it

SeparatedDads Editor 04/01/2016 at 11:26 am

If your ex does not agree to you taking the children abroad, then I suggest you apply for a Specific Issue Order, You would certainly stand a better chance of being issued the order if everything else is in place. The decision will be made with the children’s best interests.

Gg 03/01/2016 at 12:47 pm

Hi my ex and I split just over 2 years ago, we were never married but he is on the birth certificate, we have 2 children together one age 3 and 7, he is now in a new relationship and well as I, only problem my partner is American and lives in th US, I would like to move forward and start a new life over there with the children, I am uncertain how to go about it.
My ex and I do not talk about either of our lives, he pays child support and is meant to have the kids every other weekend Saturday until the Sunday, he often cancels and has gone over 2 months without seeing them, he does call every evening to speak to them. I am unsure how to approach this, I know he will refuse me to take the children, and I didn't know if going through family court first then applying for my marriage visa or applying for the marriage visa then family court? I wouldn't want to be granted access to the US for the not to be granted by the court, i would be fully happy for the child support to stop if I was to move, and would suggest that the support he did pay could go towards flights for the child to come back on school holidays, I would keep to the calls and skyping everyday so that wouldn't change, I am unsure of how to go about the situation and would be great full of any advise.

SeparatedDads Editor 22/12/2015 at 2:41 pm

If you are against your ex from leaving the country with your child, you can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. I hope this helps.

Harvey 22/12/2015 at 10:35 am

Please I am desperate my x wife is threatening to leave the country and go back to her home in Romania with our little baby boy he is only two years old any help and advice much appreciated thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 09/12/2015 at 12:06 pm

I'm afraid if you take your child without consent, you may be charged with abduction. Please see link:

SeparatedDads Editor 08/12/2015 at 2:34 pm

I suggest you seek legal advice as soon as possible with the objective of securing a Residence Order through the courts. This Child Arrangement Order will determine with whom your child should live. The fact you have taken care of your child as a sole carer will stand you in good stead. The courts will also take into account the fact your daughter has a stable life, and schooling and it is unlikely they will want to disrupt this. The courts will always rule what is in the best interests of your child, and while it cannot be guaranteed you will gain the order, you stand a good chance.

Moghrabi 08/12/2015 at 12:40 pm

Hi, I need your advice. My baby is british born, shes four month old. I am her father and my name is written on her birth certificate and i have an indefinite leave to remain. Her mother is lebanese and doesnt have any settelments or permit to stay. Now the baby is with her mother in lebanon. If she comes here and i want to file for divorce or i want to keep my baby from traveling back to lebanon.Kindly advice me what to do for to keep hold of my baby.

Phil 07/12/2015 at 8:48 pm

My ex partner and I are both British, and we have a seven year old child.
She has gone off to live with another man in the US without her child, leaving me in sole care for her. What turned out to be a two week vacation turned out so far to be 4 months (as of writing this)
Could she possibly get child custody so my daughter is forced to live over there? she is threatening to go to court over this matter and I do not want to lose my baby girl.

Jeannie 06/12/2015 at 6:25 pm

My husband moved from the UK to the United States four years ago to marry me. He has 3 kids and has paid court ordered child support since he's been here with the exception of this past year as he's been out of work. Since he's been here, his ex-wife won't respond to any emails or calls or allow the kids to talk to him on the phone or Skype. We have no idea if they receive the birthday and Christmas gifts we send, or if she's even at the same address. She has allowed no contact since he's moved here. Is there any way to legally enforce any type of contact? As far as the kids know, their father has abandoned them which is not the case, and we're afraid of the damage this is doing to them.

SeparatedDads Editor 02/12/2015 at 2:04 pm

I'm afraid I can't answer this very specific question as it would be either up to you both to decide this between you in a family-based arrangement, decide via mediation, or if it goes to court we could not possibly predict what a court may decide. However, it is unlikely the courts would let your children's schooling be interrupted.

bigV 01/12/2015 at 11:27 pm

I am American, my wife is British. A the moment she has left me. If we get divorced and say I move back to America what visitation would I be able to get? Would I be allowed 6 month of the kids with me and 6 with her? Or would the way the UKs schooling prevent this and I would only be allowed the 3 summer months. I know my wife would go for joint custody. I just don't understand how this would work. Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 23/11/2015 at 3:01 pm

Much depends on how you worded the consent. Please see link to article: What is Abduction?here. I suggest you seek some legal advice to see where you stand.

Jon 23/11/2015 at 2:44 pm

Afternoon folks,

I'm married with a Kiwi, and we have a 13 month old daughter. We went through counselling earlier this year. I thought that the outcome was that she needed to go to NZ to have some time to reflect on our situation. I would then go and join her for Xmas, and we could have a bit of time together. Then we would return to the UK to make joint decisions as to the next steps.

She purchased one way tickets, and left just over a week ago. I signed a piece of paper giving her the ok to take our daughter on that flight. I fear that she has already made up her mind not to return, with all the ensuing consequences on access etc that this will present. I haven't consented to her returning to NZ to live permanently with our daughter. I was wondering what options I may have open to me, in the seemingly likely scenario, that she decides to remain over there.

Thanks in advance.

SeparatedDads Editor 19/11/2015 at 12:43 pm

I'm sorry to hear this. International family law cases are tricky and costly. I can only suggest you seek legal advice. Your rights are only relvant to the rights your partner wishes you to have i.e whether she wants your name on the birth certificate etc. I'm afraid I can't be more helpful, as it will be a case of what transpires once your child is born. I hope you can make it work.

FeelingDown 18/11/2015 at 8:15 pm

Hi Guys,
I came across this website while looking for answers and I can only hope someone reading might be able to shine some light on my pretty sad predicament.

Long story short, I'm a British Citizen, my now ex-girlfriend is Bulgarian. Me and her split up around 2 months ago, after a pretty rocky relationship in the end. There was a chance for a short while when I thought we would work it out but it's now pretty much a lost cause; that in itself is no longer my biggest issue or the point of this message. What is though is that after we broke up, she returned to Bulgaria to live with her family and not hearing from her for weeks upon her return, I eventually got a text from her telling me she's pregnant (12 weeks at the time). A rush of emotions filled me and once presented with scans and even seeing her belly on Skpye, it all became very real. It looked for a moment we might be able to work things out- I really wanted to because having come from a broken family myself, that was the last thing I wanted for my child. It seems though that in the time she's been back, much has been decided for my unborn daughters life between her and her family; she says she will raise her with her family and it's up to me if I want to be involved- I want to be more than involved though but weekend trips from the Westcountry/London to Bulgaria every weekend is just not feasible. I also wanted my child to be born here and have British citizenship. I try to call my ex to talk to her, she rarely picks up for weeks at a time, close to a month now and I've not heard anything and any ties I might have to my child is through her. Even when she does pick up, I'm treading on egg shells and constantly reminded and vindicated for my past digressions. Suffice to say, to her I'm not responsible enough and lack means ( I was out of work for much of our relationship- desperately trying to build a business for myself that was/is my life's endeavour, she took on the bulk of financial responsibilities- something I had never allowed a woman to do for me. I say this in the interest of balance). We were only together 8 months but lived together for much of it and knew each other very well through this. In many ways, I made some silly mistakes and lessons have been learnt- as ever with the journey of life.

In any case, I'm beginning to worry greatly now about what might even happen once she's born, if my ex won't even answer my calls now or drop a simple text (I really just want to know how the pregnancy etc is going- it's my first child at stake and I'm fairly young at 27). With all of this, I'm wondering already what my rights might be should my ex continue this line of behaviour, maybe get worse once my child is born. It's bad enough not knowing much of anything during the pregnancy and knowing I'll get little say once she's born, at best my name on the birth certificate- but to think I might never have a say in the raising of my first child and watch her gro

Jv 14/11/2015 at 10:44 pm

Hi,

I wonder if anyone here could help me to find some answers. Me and my partner are living on the Isle of Man . My partners kid is living with her mum in England . The mum moved back to the uk before the baby was born. Baby was born in the uk . My partner has got parental responsibility and is on the birth certificate .is the mother allowed to move abroad to Spain with there daughter without permission ? I would highly appriciate any help on this subject kind regards

SeparatedDads Editor 10/11/2015 at 9:54 am

You would have to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children.
There is no guarantee the court will rule in your favour, as you rightly say, you would have to prove the move was not in the best interests of your children. However, your ex would also have to give reasons why it is. I hope this helps.

Glazzy 09/11/2015 at 6:17 am

Hi my ex is very bitter because of our split (15 months ago) we have 2 children my daughters 8 and son is 6. We live on the Isle of Wight but she has just told me she is moving to Brighton, I see my kids every weekend and they sleep over but obviously this will be an issue because of that stretch of water seperating us. I'm not happy as I don't want them changing schools again (4th time now) and I wouldn't see them as much. My son will be most affected as he took the break up pretty bad and lashes out at the mother often by kicking and punching her but he has been getting better with help from people such as his school and social workers. Just want to know if there is anything I can do to prevent her from moving as I believe it's not in the best interest of the children. Thanks

Daev 28/10/2015 at 3:45 pm

@Bill

I am really sorry to hear about your situation, I have been through a child abduction case myself but never without knowing my children's whereabouts. You must be at your wits end. The best thing in my opinion, if she has taken the children to the UK without your consent (and you have Parental Responsibility) is to apply to the Hague Convention through Madrid. When this happened with me the process was rather quick and was referred to the High Court in London within a month. I received legal aid through the Spanish Government for this in 2011 but I don't know what the current laws are, though I think that you shouldn't be charged for it (as stated in the convention itself) I think also that the Central Authority (the UK) by this convention has to abide in finding the whereabouts of the children involved, obvious if they have to go to court. Another possibility is making a Denuncia with the Guardia Civil and contacting Interpol if you want to go down that route. I hope this helps.

@Jo101260

Sorry to hear about your brother's situation,

Try contacting international Social Services or as they are known in the UK, Children and Families Across Borders (CFAB), as these may at least know who to contact in Southern Spain, they may only talk to your brother though.

Hope this works for you.

In both your cases and others I would also recommend you look at the Reunite website as they deal with International Child Abduction also.

Canada 14/10/2015 at 11:50 am

I moved to Canada 8 months ago. I have 2 children in the UK and have made this move to create a better future for my kids. My ex was allowing Skype time and contact up until 3 weeks ago when she stopped. She has told me she doesn't agree with why I'm out here. What are my rights as a father? Can she just stop contact? I am back to the UK for 10 days soon and I'm petrified she won't let me see my children. I need help

MR IDIBIA 13/10/2015 at 1:00 am

I was so glad to read an article by you again, instead of the other guys whom you often attach links to, because in my perspective, your wisdom regarding helping women understand beats anyone else’s that I’ve encountered. This article was a great example and I believe 100% that not only are you right in this regard, but that you shared what is probably the very most important of all of the aspects of what men find and don’t find attractive in a woman. You summarized it all very well in this one article that I found to be quite valuable. Thanks so much and please let us hear from you directly more often! :-)

SeparatedDads Editor 08/10/2015 at 2:58 pm

You can apply through the courts via the form C4, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. This will allow you to also apply for access, if you wish. Please see article: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichI hope this helps.

keefy 08/10/2015 at 1:06 pm

My ex wife has spent every day driving a wedge between me and our only daughter since we divorced 7 years ago,she rarely passed on money and gifts and made out that I wasn't interested in my daughters welfare to anybody who would listen,She constantly changed phone numbers and never answered any questions involving our daughter,she has now moved house 250 miles away and I have absolutely have no idea of the exact location,my daughter is now 19 but is classed as a vulnerable adult with a mental age of around 13,have I any rights at all to know of my daughters address to keep in touch

SeparatedDads Editor 05/10/2015 at 11:01 am

I'm afraid we can't help you here, as we only have knowledge of UK-based family law. I can only suggest you get in touch with an international family law solicitor, who would be able to advise. It is more than likely you will need proper expert advice and representation, if you are going to try to resolve this situation from another country.

Jo101260 04/10/2015 at 11:55 am

Hi, I wonder if you can help me. My brother is seperated from his wife and now lives in the UK. His wife and 2 children live in Southern Spain. Her mothering skills have always been dubious to say the least but we now think she is mistreating them. She drinks very heavily and takes cocaine. She has never been very good with nutrition and doesn't feed them properly, Mainly ready meals and convienience food. She moves around a lot (usually due to her not paying her rent) I am not sure if the children attend school regularly, but I know they are behind where they should be educationally. I wonder if anyone knows how to contact the relevant social services in Southern Spain? They are not far from the Gibralta border at the moment. She has stopped the children's grandmother (our mother) from seeing the children and she won't even let the children speak to any of us on the phone. The welfare of the children is our only concern and we are not trying to make trouble just protect two poor children who seem to have little hope with their mother. Any advice is most welcome...Thanks

eddie 18/09/2015 at 12:20 am

My wife took my four kids to Germany on vacation I gave permission for only 30 days and she decided to stay without my permission or consent forced my signature and lied to the court in Germany two years later I'm still here alone waiting for them to come back. She was taking advantage of the situation that I had no job at the moment and now that I am fully employed and with my life back together because of my breakdown that I had due to my children leaving and not coming back.
I know for a fact my kids want to come back in fact on August of last year there were actually going to come back and then I got like to bite my ex-wife again due to her finding a boyfriend that change her mind but didn't realize that she broke my kids heart.
I will like to have some advice and some help I'm returning my kids back home back to San Diego California where they belong she took advantage of many things and broke the law in many ways that I hope for someone that reads this can give me a hand up some advice of what I should do what steps should I take.
I know her mother had a lot to do with this because her mother lives off the government in Germany she has done that her entire life and has managed to have money to even traveled so now please I need advice I need to return my kids back home they need me even though I see them on face time almost every day it breaks my heart and there has not been one day since the day they left that I have not dropped a tear, they need me and I need them please help me.
thank you.

SeparatedDads Editor 09/09/2015 at 2:13 pm

I suggest you seek legal advice on the best way to obtain consent, especially if you have no knowledge of where he is.

walkinggenius 08/09/2015 at 11:28 am

hey was wondering if you could help? My childs father is in the RAF and doesnt maintain contact with our daughter anymore. I think he may currently be in the different country at the moment i am not sure as he doesnt keep in contact. I have future plans to move to australia where i am originally from and was wondering how to go about this? We did get married however i applied for an annulment ( which was successful) as the marriage wasnt consumated so legally its not seen a marriage and our relationship was hostile aswell as him having affairs. Our daughter is 2 and would not require a VISA to Australia.
Any information would be grateful thank you.

SeparatedDads Editor 08/09/2015 at 11:15 am

If you are against your wife moving without your consent, you have the option to apply to the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order. A Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. However, there is no guarantee your wife will be stopped from her actions, as she will have to prove why it is in the best interests of your child to move from the country and likewise you will have to prove why it is not in the best interests of your child. The fact that you are still married will help your case, as you have not been living separately and therefore you have constant/daily contact with your son and are a big part of his life. Alternatively, if your ex should decide to take your child without your consent, as specified in the article, it can be classed as abduction. Please see What is Abduction? article, whichI hope this helps.

slim 07/09/2015 at 1:53 pm

Hello, my wife and 11 month year old want to move to australia after only visiting for 2 months this year. Her sister and 2 kids moved to Perth 2 years ago and ever since they moved, they Skype my wife on a daily basis to tell her to move out there. Her sister can convince her quite easily!!! She applied for citizenship without fully talking to me about it. Now she wants to go there and start up a life close to her sister in australia. We both have our whole family in the UK and I do not want my son to not fully know his grandparents and my sister and close cousins. I have a sales job in the UK and we both have a house in a nice area in london. To up and leave is very hard as I am not guaranteed a job and income in australia. We constantly argue about moving, even her parents have said go. (I guess as there other daughter is there it will make them happy) my wife keeps saying she is going for our son to have a better life, but as he is 11 months old I do not think she should use him as an excuse, she says I am being selfish and not wanting the best for our child. What am I going to do????????????

Onlyme 11/08/2015 at 10:44 pm

Hi, need some advice please. My brother married his wife (half American) in the UK and had a daughter. He is a great Dad, very hands on and cared for his daughter more than she did as she isn't very maternal. After getting his visa to live in the US they moved there together. When my brother's at work she has to rely on nannies and baby sitters even when at home full time. When my brother is home from work and at weekends he is the full time parent, cook, cleaner etc... Don't get me wrong, she's not a bad mum - loves my neice to bits, just prefers the play time and letting my niece have what's she wants etc.. Likes the easy stuff. The conflict with parenting styles is one of the reasons their marriage isn't working. The biggest problem is if they split, which is looking likely, where does that leave child care / custody. If he stays in the US he has no friends or family except the odd weekend with his daughter? Plushis wife has a property she solely owns / not mortgage in New York from Daddy's trust fund from before they were together and she'll likely move back into that which means he wont be able to afford to live where they do to provide for his daughter as well as he could living elsewhere. If he moves back to uk he would lose his visa and not be able to live in same country as his daughter. His wife will not live in UK, even though her mum's side live here and she has dual nationality. Can anyone recommend what he should do. It's a mess. Can you help?

Greeny05 11/08/2015 at 9:19 pm

My ex has not seen my children for over a year, his choice. We had a very volatile relationship, he was violent and since he hasn't seen my girls- all contact has been cut. I'm now remarried with a
Child on the way and my husband is in the armed forces. He's due a posting and there's a possibility it could be Germany. Obviously with a new baby on the way, I would want to go with him. Where do I stand here? I wasn't married to my ex but he is on their birth certificates. I have urged him to get a court order for regular contact with my children but he point blank refuses, he would however, definitely refuse me permission to live abroad purely out of spite. What is my best route?

SeparatedDads Editor 03/08/2015 at 11:15 am

@sad dad - I am very sorry to hear this. I'm afraid you would have to take it to court. If you had taken it to court before she left for the States, then an official arrangement may have been granted prior to her leaving. It could prove to be a lot more costly to apply this way because of the international aspect to your case. I suggest you take some legal advice regarding getting the wheels in motion.

sad dad 31/07/2015 at 3:38 pm

my ex is American and my children were born there,they came to live in England for 2 years,the relationship broke down and she returned to the u.s.a with the children.i requested that I have the children for month each summer she flatly refused,what can I do???

SeparatedDads Editor 31/07/2015 at 2:45 pm

@Kymon - if he refuses permission then if you leave with the children it could be classed as abduction. You would have to apply for a Specific Issue Order, I hope this helps.

Kymon 29/07/2015 at 12:27 am

Hi, We are an Australian expat family that came to the UK on a temporary visa (2 year contract). Married 11 years, two children 9 and 5. We separated a year ago due to my husbands infidelities. As my husband didn't want to return to Australia at the end of his contract and extended his UK for another year I stayed on so the children could be close to him . He has however made it clear that he wants the kids and I to return to Aust and he continue working in the UK. However he now wants to stay in the UK permanently and is wanting the children to stay here with him and for this to become their new home. He is also talking of wanting full custody of them. I am the main carer for the children and trying to keep their best interests at heart but we have never agreed to move here permanently. I am happy to stay in the UK another two years but I am making it clear at the end of that the girls and I will be returning to our home in Australia. If we do this can my ex husband stop us from leaving the country?

Tree 07/07/2015 at 10:43 pm

Hi
My brothers ex girlfriend has just been given permission by a judge to take there 9year old daughter to live in Australia. He playes a big part in her life and upbringing and spends a lot of time with here. The mum has possibly lied in court under oath but we can't prove it. Cafcas reports suggested that she should should not be allowed to go but the judge seemed to ignore all of this for some reason. The daughter has been told tonight that she have to go but has made it quiet clear that she doesn't want to.
Please help or advise.
Thank you.

robbie 01/07/2015 at 12:12 pm

my ex partner is now living in uk with her australian partner. they are planning to emigrate to australia with our 7 yr old daughter. my ex has no permission from myself and none from the courts.

the australian system takes the child's best interests into account when considering applications. my ex has no interest in our daughters education/ support for homework etc., and does very little with the child out of school hours. she has been on uk benefits for years and her australian partner is now working cash in hand illegally in uk. what is the likelihood of my ex being able to take my daughter to live permanently in australia?

trashgirl 30/06/2015 at 6:38 pm

I want to move to Australia with my Australian Partner of two years, I have a seven year old daughter with a man who walked out on me when I was pregnant and has never actually lived with his daughter, he is on the birth certificate although he couldn't even be mature on it and state his real occupation. He does have fortnightly contact and when he does have a job he pays some maintenance but it is sporadic. I have asked him if he will give written permission for me to move on the grounds that we make arrangements in the future for contact and of course Skype and he has adamantly refused. 85% of my family are Australian so I wouldn't be without family so if I went through the court order route what are the chances of me getting refused and would the fact he has never been in a relationship with me within my childs lifetime help my case?

SeparatedDads Editor 29/06/2015 at 3:06 pm

@snowie - I'm afraid, as much as we try, we can't answer all questions, as we work across many pages. If he can't afford the legal fees, he can self-litigate, see link How to Represent Yourself, whichIf he doesn't have the address his ex is living at, he can apply through the courts on a C4 form, which is an application for an order for disclosure of a child's whereabouts. I'm not sure of the Irish equivalent, you may have to do some research. You may find more information via whichI hope this helps.

snowie 26/06/2015 at 8:46 pm

Is there a reason you have ignored my last post/question ?

SeparatedDads Editor 22/06/2015 at 11:56 am

@Helpforus - I hope you read the article, where is says that if both parents have parental responsibility for a child, then it is a criminal offence in the UK for one parent to emigrate with a child without the permission of the other parent or without an order of the court. You would have to seek legal advice on this as it could be termed as abduction, in order to see whether this situation applies to your partner. If so, then he would have to speak to a family law solicitor.

Helpforus 19/06/2015 at 10:34 am

Hi, my partners son has been taken away to a foreign country to live without mentioning a word of it, he regularly pays maintenance and there was a verbal agreement in place for us to have care of him every Sunday.My partner is not on the birth certificate - but I have read he can apply for parental responsibility . How do we go about applying to the courts? We don't have her address, only her mothers address and phone number . They are refusing to give us any details! Thanks for any help

Snowie 16/06/2015 at 6:49 pm

My friends ex-wife disappeared in the night with his 2 young children several years ago. She had custody, but he had access/visitation rights. They were married, he is on both birth certificates and both children were born in the UK after 2003, so from what I read above, she is guilty of unlawful removal. She has recently resurfaced in Southern Ireland. He has exhausted his legal aid funding, but will try and get a loan. Before he does that and potentially gets into debt - what sort of arrangement does Ireland have with the UK on such matters and how would you suggest he proceeds...He has no wish to remove them from their mother, he is just desperate to see them again (on a regular basis)....Thanks.

SeparatedDads Editor 17/06/2015 at 1:54 pm

@chella - as suggested in the article, in these circumstances it is always wise to apply to the court to request an order in the agreed terms to prevent any problems further down the line. I hope this helps.

chella 14/06/2015 at 4:27 pm

My husband and I are separated, he left and now lives hundreds of miles from me in UK. I want to return to Australia and want to take my Australian born 7 year old, plus my over 18 year olds want to come too. My husband is OK with this as he has his new life and has said he is happy to visit occasionally. Do I need written permission from him? He has verbally said OK and doesnt care what we do. We have a good friendly relationship and there are no other issues. Thanks

SeparatedDads Editor 28/05/2015 at 11:00 am

@Martin - I am unsure of Dominican Republic parenting laws. She would have to apply through international law to have her child returned. The fact that she signed authorisation, lends itself in your favour and any court would decide what's in the best interests of your child and that includes a stable environment. However, I'm sure, as any mother/parent, her child is more than a 'cash cow' and there are bound to be very strong emotions involved. Just because she is financially poor, doesn't mean your ex doesn't hurt that her child is over the other side of the world, and it must seem she is powerless to do anything about the situation. Perhaps, if you tried to accommodate her a little more, and tried to make the relationship work between you/her and your child, then she would not be so angry and/or try to cause trouble. It might be that a little kindness would go a long way to sorting out your situation.

Martin 25/05/2015 at 3:20 pm

The mother of my child signed an 'authorization de sali' from Dominican Republic. I have the child in school, in a nice stable loving environment. Very happy, loves life here. The mother was not sending her to school, was not supporting her on the maintenance I provided, and lives in a shed, in a very bad dangerous environment. Because the finances have stopped, she wants our daughter back, our child is her cash cow and nothong more to her. I arrange her to skype weekly, in which time all she seems to want to do is upset, confuse and score points with our dsughter. What rights does she have as I understand she now us trying to start problems for us. What can she do?

SeparatedDads Editor 15/05/2015 at 11:05 am

@Mazza - you would have to either obtain consent from your ex, or if not take it to court as a specific issue order, I can't tell you what your chances are, but the court may favour you returning if you are not a British citizen and have no benefits or help here. You will need to be able to prove why it is in your child's best interests to move home. I hope this helps.

Mazza 13/05/2015 at 4:05 pm

I'm originally from NZ and had a child 1 year ago, I have no family in the UK where my child was born, sadly I got tricked into staying in the country, things were going south prior to the little man being born, but my then partner promised I could go home if we ever failed. Well he walked out at 12 weeks due to not 'handling' the situation, he was never abusive to my son but he was towards me in the end. I want to go home to be with my family and have an outdoor lifestyle compared to what I have here as I am not entitled to any benefits, I feel useless as his family help with my son but also hold it against me that I want to work. what do you think of my chances are of taking my boy home with me.

SeparatedDads Editor 12/05/2015 at 10:04 am

@James.N - I am very sorry to hear this. Much will depend on how agreeable your ex is after the birth of your child. I take it that you are in the USA currently, in which case you will be dealing with US law, which I'm afraid we have little knowledge due to our pages being based on UK issues. It would be advisable to have the parental issues dealt with in the US, as once you return to the UK you will have to employ an international solicitor to be able to fight your case, should access issues become tricky. If your ex is willing to undergo mediation once the child is born in order to come to an agreement it will be less costly, however, any mediation agreement will not be legally binding. If you wish to have an agreement with some gravitas, then you would have to go through the court system I'm afraid. I can't predict what will happen here as much will dependent upon surrounding issues, but I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the access you want.

James.N 09/05/2015 at 4:32 am

Hi,
My wife is American and is 4 months pregnant, but is now threatening not to return to the UK with me after she gives birth in America.
That I have accepted, but me physically being able to see or have custody to my children I have not.
Does anybody have any advice as to whether she is allowed to not let me see or have my kids once they are born?

Regards
James

bawa 04/05/2015 at 10:32 am

Hi, my daughter is 7 yrs old and lives with my ex in uk as i live in india,3 yrs back both visited to india to see me but aftto r that i havent seen my daughter.I want to see he and visit her,plz help me

steph 29/04/2015 at 5:01 am

Hi I have recently split from my partner of 10years. We have 5 boys all through IVF. She has moved to dubai 4 months ago with older 3 boys (3 year old twins and a 7 year old) and I have kept the smaller 2 twins in the UK. I have recently come over to dubai to bring younger 2 kids but found she is not looking after them properly. What can I do about possibly gaining custody of the boys. She has used money as a reason for her move and I may not have enough financial background to keep them in private school and things? What can I do?

SeparatedDads Editor 31/03/2015 at 12:14 pm

@Dave - You may have to get some legal advice in order to be able to organise this.

Dave 28/03/2015 at 11:01 pm

I have a child with an ex-partner (no marriage). I have PR but I'm planning to move to the USA , can I issue a permanent child travel consent in any form to my partner so she does not have any issues when travelling as I will be unavailable to sign consents for each trip.

SeparatedDads Editor 30/03/2015 at 12:18 pm

@geogie - If he is not on the birth certificate then he does not have parental responsibility. If the DNA came back positive and he decided to apply for PR through the courts, then he theoretically would have a say. However, if he was granted PR and refused to give his consent for you to move away then it is unlikely he would be able to stop you through the courts if he has never had any interest or developed a relationship with your child.

geogie 27/03/2015 at 3:48 pm

If the father has never had anything to do with the child, can he stop me from moving abroad? Before I fell pregnant I was working overseas trips frequently. He isn't on the birth certificate and hasn't paid a penny in maintenance. I've offered for him to meet several times. I took him through the CSA but stopped before the test was done as he was being threatening and I was worried about being connected to this guy given the circumstances. I had a newborn at the time so left it and then re opended it later when the father was lying about the situation. I still haven't done a DNA yet through the CSA and it is due now but worried about what this will mean for us. He is also tax evading so wouldn't pay anything but a few pounds a week even if this is done. So not sure what to do? Im worried he will use it to be controlling rather than have any good intentions towards the baby as he's not even asked how he is or shown any concern other than trying to hide and excuse why he is not involved.

Logan 03/03/2015 at 10:02 pm

Chillipepper / Kathy

Many thanks for your comments - greatly appreciated.

I have since been in touch with another independent barrister - who has confirmed what my previous barrister has told me.

All my arguments have been squashed because "they are married"!!!

My arguments have fallen on deaf ears!

"A fathers rights" - what rights? It's laughable, we are just humoured because our name is on the birth certificate!

My thoughts go out to all on here who fight tooth and nail for there children to no prevail

Regards

Logan

unsure 03/03/2015 at 1:33 pm

Hi,

im looking to emigrate with my husband and 2 sons. My eldest son is not my husbands but he has brought him up for the past 6 years. My eldest has not seen his biological father for 7 years. Do I still have to ask his permission for me to emigrate with my son? Although he cant be bothered to see him I know he will just say no to be awkward. Any advice would be great!

Cass Editor 04/03/2015 at 12:27 pm

@harleychick - you would have to apply through the courts anyway in order to get permission from your ex (if he has parental responsibility). It is understandable that your 12-year-old may want to stay in the UK near friends and new schools etc, but I would not advise leaving her if her father is not very responsible. Your children really should come first. Can't your new boyfriend come to the UK, or stay until she is old enough to be responsible for herself? Or you can ask the courts to decide, what is in her best interests, which is not the best option, but it depends how determined you are to go.

harleychick 02/03/2015 at 9:23 am

I wish to emmigrate to Australia and take my two children. One refuses to go. She is 12. I know I can offer her a better life a her dad makes little effort to bother but would object to me taking her. What can I do?.
I don't want to leave her and be labelled a bad mother. But I really love this man

chillipepper 01/03/2015 at 8:14 pm

logan - - my advice is to do all you can no matter what - i live with the guilt
maybe i should have said this should have done more in court - tears me apart -
i cant imagine doing nothing - fathers seem to be treated like criminals and discarded before any input- i had the feeling i was being ignored in court, just going thru the motions, i was scared to "raise my voice" in case i came across aggressive, scared to object when i heard lies coming out of my exes gob... if i could id go back and fight harder speak up more - no matter what - make your self heard - IF and it is if you loose
you can hold your head up high to say you tried -

Kathy Editor 03/03/2015 at 2:28 pm

@Logan - I wish you good luck in the court case as this is heartbreaking for any father to have to tolerate.

Logan 28/02/2015 at 9:54 pm

I have been separated from an ex for 2 yrs who we have a 7yr old daughter together. Within a month of us separating, the ex has met an American guy, and told me she intends to move to the states with my daughter.
Shot-gun wedding a year later to strengthen her case and here we are today a week away from a court hearing.
My concerns are my ex and her new husband have never lived together and I struggle with the validity of there relationship - I have worked out, with him visiting the uk and the ex visiting the states that my daughter has spent no more than a month in this mans company!
I have been advised by my solicitor & barrister to now conceed (a week before court hearing) as I have a less than 10% chance of opposing my ex removing my daughter from the uk and to focus on gaining as much time in visiting rights!
I find it hard to conceed - we are talking about an ex who wishes to chase the American dream and selfishly wants to take my daughter along for the ride to suit her own needs, leaving in pieces here a father, and 2 half brothers along with a large family network.
The system is appalling that a father has very little rights!
I'm torn between conceeding and going to court with the 10% chance still being a "what if"

Dan Editor 27/02/2015 at 12:44 pm

@chillipepper - I am very sorry to hear this and that your relationship has had to suffer as a result, this really is the worst scenario for all fathers to have to bear. There really is little you can do apart from going over to South Africa and trying to regain some contact through the courts. But I suppose the problem is that these orders can be easily broken which in turn will leave you financially broken and in order to have to have better contact you would have to move your whole life to a country that you probably do not wish to re-locate to. It's a small mercy, I know, that you have time communicating via Skype, but until you can think of another way around it the there is really not much you can do. With us all being more globally transient these days, it is something increasing in numbers, but then nothing is being done to address it. Men are expected just to suck it up. It's a real shame.

chillipepper 25/02/2015 at 4:33 pm

hy i feel im at a dead end and lost - my ex won in court to take our son back to her home country and her family in south africa 2011 - (i am british) - a court order was issued but i have been battling ever since loosing in court to maintain a full and proper relationship with my son - my ex and her family have done little to keep things alive for us and now things are getting worse - i had an email telling me my son is booked in for a surgical procedure and when i have replied raising my concerns i have been told basically tough and my follow up email has been like many in the past ignored!
the other year my ex threatened to cut my contact with my son completely unless i adhered to her rules when i tried to raise the issue with my solicitors and the barrister that helped me in court previously i ended up paying near £200 for a letter telling me
theres nothing i or the uk courts can do now cos she is out of jurisdiction -- i would have to pay a private solicitor in SA - which is out of question - and now there is no legal aid for me to get any help anycase -
i am tired of the fight - tired of being treated like or worse than a criminal when all i want is to be part of my son's life - why do we fathers have to beg and grovel made to feel inadequate and made to feel appreciative to get any minutes on skype ----
i wont ramble im very frustrated - hope this made some sense -please advise

twinkle toes 09/02/2015 at 6:49 pm

Hi i need some urgent advice my sons father is threatening to take my child off me an remove him from the country before i can ring the police i only no him by his nickname i dont no his real name and hes not on the birth certificate what should i do ?

Drivas 29/01/2015 at 12:46 am

Hi, my ex wants to move to California with our 13 year old son. She is originally from Dominica but her family all now live in the USA and she has a green card. My son and I are both British citizens although he also has a green card. He doesn't want to go and I don't want to lose him but she says it doesn't matter what either me or him wants and she's taking him anyway. We've all lived together since he was born even though mine and her relationship broke down a number of years ago. Can she just take him away if he doesn't want to go?

Holly24 23/01/2015 at 3:38 pm

I forgot to add he is on the birth certificate and has parental responsibly for his son

Holly24 23/01/2015 at 3:36 pm

My partner took his ex girlfriend to court and it's still on going as she is hostile and will do anything in her power to stop their 1 year old son seeing his biological father. My partner has fought hard but she has made it difficult. We have recently seen that she is planning to move away with her new partner who she encourages the 1 year old to call daddy.
Where do we stand with her moving away as my partner will not be giving her per,is soon due to the relationship becoming impossible for him and his son. Can she remove him from the country and get away with it?

smiler 22/01/2015 at 11:01 am

my girlfriend emigrated to austrilia when she was 13 then returned to britain when she was 21 she then became preganant and after 12 weeks of her being preganant she wants to now go back to austrilia as she finished me can anybody tell me my rights as the baby isnt born yet

determinated-dad 17/12/2014 at 6:13 am

Hi
My ex moved to NZ with my daughter without my consent (my daughter was born in London and hold a british and nz citizenship as her mother is kiwi),i found out where she was when social service in Auckland contacted me.
Basically she had been arrested under the mental health act and my daughter was taken away from her.Now she is in a foster home.
She has made false claim about me (child abuse),but she did it also to a former friend of her,she 've got serious mental health problem and she is a alcoholic.
I'm right now in NZ fighting to get my daughter back,i intend to press charge against her for abduction,mistreatment,false claim to social service (i got written proof for that).
My worry is not really her as it will be easy to prove she's not fit to be a mother,but more the NZ gov......Will the Child Abduction Act 1984 (under 1980 Hague convention) be efficient to bring my daughter back to UK,where she actually lived all her life (from her birth to 7 years old) ?

mimi 20/10/2014 at 8:25 pm

I m married to an Algerian since 4 years. Our marriage is breaking down because to many cultural differences (he wants me to convert, his family is making pressure to convert, he is aggressive towards me, don t get along with one of his sisters at all...) I m considering divorcement. I m scared that he snatches and brings our 2 year old daughter to Algeria behind my back where I will not have any access to her at all anymore. I m pretty sure he and his family will not accept that she grows up in a non Muslim household. Which legal steps are possible in the UK to protect my little daughter???? I m living since 10 years in the UK. Me and my daughter have Austrian passports. Please advice.

bluestar 27/09/2014 at 6:05 pm

can my american husband keep my children in the usa without my consent ,and start divorce proceder in the usa We all lived in uk ,and he took the kids to usa with my permission for a holiday ,but now says he his keeping them there and as started divoce proceders

DESPERATE 23/09/2014 at 9:55 am

I am an Indian expatriate working in the UAE since 1990..i have marries and Indian in the year 1995. In our 7 year marital relationship we had a son now aged 13 years. My exwife took my son to UK without any court permission remarrid to a Briton and settled in the UK since the year 2007.
Since then I have no contact of my son even I have favourable court orders on the custodial rights of my son from the UAE and from India . I have contacted Indian and Uk authorities but in vein. Please advise how I canI restore custodianship of my lone son.

Rodgers 08/09/2014 at 11:36 pm

Can me ex partner take our 2 daughters aged 11 and 8 to live in New Zealand to live without my permission. We were us married an since we split many years ago I get contact every night after work for 3 hours they stay with me fri sat an go home 9 pm Sunday night although nothing is in writing I pay child maintenance and have done since the split stupidly nothing official . Please help

Abz baz 15/06/2014 at 1:45 pm

My ex partner is trying to move to Baku Azerbaijan with my 6 years old daughter. I only found out when the headmistress from school called me when she had it in writing and could disclose this information to me. On the letter my ex wrote to school she said I was aware but the headmistress called me as she said alarm bells started ringing and didn't think I knew about it.

I have been made aware by my ex that they already have visas sorted and are due to fly out on the 6th of July 2014. They have both British and Spanish passports and I am unsure how they secured the visas.

My daughter was born in scotland.
My name is on the birth certificate and I do not concent to this move, we live in aberdeen scotland, are scottish. What can I do?

Please help

me&mine 15/04/2014 at 9:42 pm

I am looking in to the possibility of moving myself and daughter to Australia with my new partner.
My daughters father is given access when ever he likes but hasent seen her in over 4months (missed a recent birthday) i feel he plays no parental roll what so ever.
Where would i stand with the courts in this situation ??

JH0210 13/04/2014 at 11:54 pm

I'd like to know what the conditions are the other way around - I've been given the opportunity to emigrate to America to with my new partner, but I want to continue being a part of my daughters life. What are the rules or regulations on this?

gavrat 11/03/2014 at 5:05 am

My ex has taken my son to live in Germany with permission from useless idiots called judges, contact is in place but she breaches it every day by denying contact, be grateful if any could tell me how i go about dealing with the useless system to get them to enforce they're great wisdom by separating me from my son, can't believe we pay for judges, i told the judge she would do exactly this, no hope for any of us until we sort our justice system out, every judge i've come across seems to just bamble along in there rich little world not having the intelligence to worry or care of how there actions affect children and parents alike. Thanks for any help.

Meme 08/07/2013 at 5:07 pm

Can my ex take our daughter on a weeks holiday without my permission, I have parental responsibility for our daughter

sbabby 05/03/2013 at 1:56 pm

What happens if I want to take my 12yrs old to Italy. My ex doesn't appear on birth certificate & he doesn't provide for her. also he goes to America for hobby 3-4 months every year & has missed most of her bdays for that reason.He's very rude & in a bad mood most of the time also him & his family are not a very good example for my daughter.when she's with him is mostly his mum that cooks for her, make sure that she washes & gets up early enough in the am to give her breakfast.My daughter was born in the uk but has italian passport.

jen 18/02/2013 at 12:36 pm

What happens if I take my daughter to live in another country, without her fathers consent as she never sees her father, he is a bad influence, has been arrested for various criminal offenses and makes no contribution towards her welfare or asks for contact since it has been denied in the interest of my child's safety. Yet if he found I had taken her without his consent he would as a matter of pride and spite try to ruin our plans for a new life? Would we be ordered home on any account merely because I made the mistake of putting his name on the birth certificate?

worried friend 16/09/2012 at 12:10 pm

What happens when a child who was born in australia is away on holidays with its mother, the father comes to ireland for the last week of an 8 week holiday and the mother refuses to go back to australia
mother is irish, father has a new zeland passport, child was born in australis and has duel citizenship, new zeland and ireland.
couple are married, child has fathers name