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How Divorce Works For Fathers

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 17 Feb 2018 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Divorce Marriage Decree

Divorce is what legally ends the marriage between you and your former partner resulting in a decree nisi and a decree absolute. It can be simple, or a lengthy, contentious process, depending on the parties involved, and how they agree to divide property and assets.

Concerning children, divorce can be equally straightforward or problematic. You will have Parental Responsibility for the children born in wedlock with your partner. You will have to Pay Child Support, or maintenance, which can be worked out with your ex or a monthly sum mandated by the Child Support Agency (CSA), depending on your income.

Working Out Of Court

This is the easiest way, if you can reach an agreement in direct negotiation with your ex or through mediation. There’s less acrimony and generally a much better atmosphere to the proceedings and you can take the agreement to court, and it becomes legally valid if signed by the solicitors employed by you and your ex.

Be aware, however, that mothers have flouted these agreements in the past, and some will again. If so, you’ll need to obtain a court order to have them enforced, and even then those might be breached. A great deal depends on the goodwill between you and your former partner.

In Court

Some feel it is better if you represent yourself in court, using someone called a McKenzie Friend, who is a person familiar with experience of the legal and divorce processes. Others feel your interests will be better served by employing a solicitor to argue your case for you.

In the case of an acrimonious divorce, you might find your ex making accusations against you. You’ll need to be prepared for this. If you’ve had contact with your children before the divorce hearing, keep a parenting diary with full details of the contacts, dates, etc adding photographs if possible.

Where children are old enough to voice opinions, their wishes are taken into account by the court regarding contact and residence. Another important part of the proceedings is the Cafcass Report, where both parents, other carers, teachers and others are interviewed to reach a determination. Courts mostly follow all the recommendations of the report. However, if you’re unhappy with any part of it, you can challenge that, or even request a new report by another officer.

The tradition in contact tends to be every other weekend and half the school holidays with you, with your children spending the rest of the time with their mother. However, it’s quite possible to suggest other arrangements, especially if that’s what your children desire. Joint residency, for example, is a relatively new concept here, but one which is widely practiced in Europe and gaining traction in America.

Things You Should Do

Keep up your maintenance payments, making them on time and in full. This shows responsibility to your children and eliminates at least one legal hold your ex might have over you. If unemployment or other factors make payment impossible, keep full records and present them to the court.

If possible, create a co-parenting plan with your ex. This can help head off any future problems and means you really are putting your children first.

Finally, never use your kids to pass messages to your former partner. Keep them above the problems you two have.
For more information about the Cafcass family report - see here.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
Deedee79 - Your Question:
Hi my ex has my daughter once a fourtinght for 5 hours, he keeps taking her to his new wifes house, I wasnt told he was getting married not that I care, but I live 30 miles away and he keeps taking her out of my home town without my concent, im only finding out once she gets home she is only 7 and has autisum. What can I do about this I hate that I dont know were she is when she is with him who I dont trust due to the past actions with my daughter , please help someone!!!!

Our Response:
If you cannot agree between you, then you would need to consider requesting your ex attends mediation in order to come to an agreement, please see link here. There are no rules to say what the other parent with parental responsibility can and cannot do, it is something that should be agreed between yourselves. If your ex refuses to agree to mediation, then your only option would be to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
SeparatedDads - 19-Feb-18 @ 1:52 PM
Hi my ex has my daughter once a fourtinghtfor 5 hours, he keeps taking her to his new wifes house, i wasnt told he was getting married not that i care, but i live 30 miles away and he keeps taking her out of my home town without my concent,im only finding out once she gets home she is only 7 and has autisum. What can i do about this i hate that i dont know were she is when she is with him who i dont trust due to the past actions with my daughter , please help someone!!!!
Deedee79 - 17-Feb-18 @ 6:25 PM
Pressured dad - Your Question:
Hi,My wife and I are splitting up. We've been married for ten years and have two daughters (9&6). We both work full time and have similar stature and pay. My question is quite simple really. If/when we decide to live apart how can I be the parent that the children live with? Do the authorities still side with the mother or is it more equal now? I ask as I'm the parent who does most of the childcare, cooking cleaning etc. and I genuinely believe they would be better cared for with me.Thank you

Our Response:
There are no fixed rules, it is a matter which should be agreed between you and your ex, keeping in mind what you both thinks is in your children's best interests as the benchmark. Many parents agree to share the care of the children. However, when parents cannot agree, mediation is seen as the first option to consider, please see link here, which will help you both come to a workable agreement. However, where there is disagreement along the line, and/or if your ex refuses to negotiate through mediation, then court is seen as the last option. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. If, for instance one of you works part-time (to help look after the children) and the other parent works full-time, then the part-time parent will generally be seen as the primary carer, as they are the person that spends most time with the children. The court usually opts for continuity, so if you currently are the day-to-day primary carer of your children, then it is likely the court would allow this to continue.
SeparatedDads - 15-Feb-18 @ 12:49 PM
Hi, My wife and I are splitting up. We've been married for ten years and have two daughters (9&6). We both work full time and have similar stature and pay. My question is quite simple really. If/when we decide to live apart how can I be the parent that the children live with? Do the authorities still side with the mother or is it more equal now? I ask as I'm the parent who does most of the childcare, cooking cleaning etc. and I genuinely believe they would be better cared for with me. Thank you
Pressured dad - 13-Feb-18 @ 8:04 PM
Jack - Your Question:
Hi I am worried me and my wife have been apart for 1 and a half years now and we are living apart. We are in the process of getting a divorce and we agreed that when it comes to are daughter we will share custody and she would let are daughter stay at mine but now she is changing her mind every time we try to work it out but yet she wants me to have so 6 children plus her new boyfriend child to look after almost every week end.I keep a diary but I am worried that I will now not be aloud to see are daughter.What can I do to stop her playing games

Our Response:
Your only options are to try to resolve the matters you both have through mediation, please see link; Mediation: What is it and is it For Me? here . If your ex refuses to attend mediation, then your only option is to apply to court for a child arrangement order, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 12-Feb-18 @ 11:50 AM
Daddy - Your Question:
Hi I am worried me and my wife have been apart for 1 and a half years now and we are living apart. We are in the process of getting a divorce and we agreed that when it comes to are daughter we will share custody and she would let are daughter stay at mine but now she is changing her mind every time we try to work it out but yet she wants me to have so 6 children plus her new boyfriend child to look after almost every week end. I keep a diary but I am worried that I will now not be aloud to see are daughter. What can I do to stop her playing games

Our Response:
Mediation is the first option you should consider if you cannot agree between you, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 12-Feb-18 @ 11:07 AM
Hi I am worried me and my wife have been apart for 1 and a half years now and we are living apart . We are in the process of getting a divorce and we agreed that when it comes to are daughter we will share custody and she would let are daughter stay at mine but now she is changing her mind every time we try to work it out but yet she wants me to have so 6 children plus her new boyfriend child to look after almost every week end . I keep a diary but I am worried that I will now not be aloud to see are daughter . What can I do to stop her playing games
Daddy - 11-Feb-18 @ 1:57 PM
Hi I am worried me and my wife have been apart for 1 and a half years now and we are living apart . We are in the process of getting a divorce and we agreed that when it comes to are daughter we will share custody and she would let are daughter stay at mine but now she is changing her mind every time we try to work it out but yet she wants me to have so 6 children plus her new boyfriend child to look after almost every week end . I keep a diary but I am worried that I will now not be aloud to see are daughter . What can I do to stop her playing games
Jack - 10-Feb-18 @ 1:56 PM
aDAD - Your Question:
I need some legal help. I am currently married but close to separation/divorce. Me and my wife currently have a joint mortgage in place and no prior financial agreement. My wife put a considerably higher amount into the house than me. However, I have a 6 year old child from another relationship whom stays at mine every other weekend, on the basis she is in a comfortable safe environment with her own room which she has.Should I get separated/divorced I will not have the fiance to afford a two bedroom property close to my child to maintain access over night.I'm actually sure how I would house myself. My wife earns more than me and we have no children. What rights do I have to the property / potential capital ? What options ? As getting divorced and losing access to my daughter will be a huge blow. HELP.

Our Response:
Much depends upon how long you have been married for regarding what the division of capital/assets will be. If you have been married for under five years, then it is likely you will both financially take out of the marriage what you put into it percentage wise. The fact you have a child from another relationship will not be factored in, if the matter goes to court. Your best option is to decide amicably between you both, as if you disagree court will cost and has a habit of sucking up in legal costs any financial benefits you could hope to accrue. Hopefully, you and your wife can come to an agreed arrangement between you that will satisfy you both, allowing you both to comfortably move on.
SeparatedDads - 6-Feb-18 @ 11:48 AM
I need some legal help. I am currently married but close to separation/divorce. Me and my wife currently have a joint mortgage in place and no prior financial agreement. My wife put a considerably higher amount into the house than me. However, I have a 6 year old child from another relationship whom stays at mine every other weekend, on the basis she is in a comfortable safe environment with her own room which she has. Should I get separated/divorced I will not have the fiance to afford a two bedroom property close to my child to maintain access over night.I'm actually sure how I would house myself. My wife earns more than me and we have no children. What rights do I have to the property / potential capital ?What options ? As getting divorced and losing access to my daughter will be a huge blow. HELP.
aDAD - 5-Feb-18 @ 7:11 PM
Adviceforpartner - Your Question:
My partner and his wife split 2 years ago. He continued to pay everything (mortgage, all house bills, her car, her phone bill, internet everything) for almost 2 years. He’s been trying to get her to come to a financial settlement but she keeps avoiding the conversations. They are now divorced but still no financial settlement. My partner now pays the mortgage in full (which is almost £300 more than his child maintenance costs would be) in lieu of child maintenance at her request as she has chosen to become self employed and doesn’t qualify to take over the mortgage. Her car is also in my partners name and she is still avoiding getting rid of it or buying it off him to get him out of the lease agreement. They both have a lot of debt and my partners Dad lent them £20k as a deposit on the house which he now wants back. My partner has suggested selling the house, paying the debt off, paying his dad back and then giving her 60% and him taking 40%. She is refusing to do this. She wants to stay in the house forever and have him continue to pay the mortgage in full. They have 3 kids who live with her. Where does my partner stand? It doesn’t seem fair that he has to stay tied into a mortgage for a house that he doesn’t live in until the youngest leaves school (another 9 years) or have this car in his name. He’s paying more than he should. He’s a great dad and a wonderful person who is being taken advantage of. What are his rights? Can he force a sale of the car or house? He suggested selling the house in 13 months time which gives her plenty of time to sort work and living arrangements out. He’s trying to compromise but she won’t budge. It doesn’t seem right than she can be ‘self employed’ with no stable income when she wasn’t ever before and demand he keep paying the mortgage? He can’t afford solicitors and court, any advice?

Our Response:
Unfortunately, your partner has found himself in a sticky situation, as it is highly unlikely a court would rule to ask his ex to leave the house when there are children involved. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the children in question. The court will always put the children’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application. Your partner would really have to take legal advice here (he may be able to get some free advice via the Citizens Advice Bureau) in order to see if he has any recourse to get his ex to come to a financial agreement. Court is the only option where mutual agreement or mediation will not be considered. He can represent himself in court if he cannot afford legal fees, please see link here. However, he would have to see whether he has a case to answer before he should consider court.
SeparatedDads - 12-Jan-18 @ 3:16 PM
My partner and his wife split 2 years ago. He continued to pay everything (mortgage, all house bills, her car, her phone bill, internet everything) for almost 2 years. He’s been trying to get her to come to a financial settlement but she keeps avoiding the conversations. They are now divorced but still no financial settlement. My partner now pays the mortgage in full (which is almost £300 more than his child maintenance costs would be) in lieu of child maintenance at her request as she has chosen to become self employed and doesn’t qualify to take over the mortgage. Her car is also in my partners name and she is still avoiding getting rid of it or buying it off him to get him out of the lease agreement. They both have a lot of debt and my partners Dad lent them £20k as a deposit on the house which he now wants back. My partner has suggested selling the house, paying the debt off, paying his dad back and then giving her 60% and him taking 40%. She is refusing to do this. She wants to stay in the house forever and have him continue to pay the mortgage in full. They have 3 kids who live with her. Where does my partner stand? It doesn’t seem fair that he has to stay tied into a mortgage for a house that he doesn’t live in until the youngest leaves school (another 9 years) or have this car in his name. He’s paying more than he should. He’s a great dad and a wonderful person who is being taken advantage of. What are his rights? Can he force a sale of the car or house? He suggested selling the house in 13 months time which gives her plenty of time to sort work and living arrangements out. He’s trying to compromise but she won’t budge. It doesn’t seem right than she can be ‘self employed’ with no stable income when she wasn’t ever before and demand he keep paying the mortgage? He can’t afford solicitors and court, any advice?
Adviceforpartner - 11-Jan-18 @ 9:27 PM
My partner and his ex wife have been separated 2 years and filed for divorce. They have a 5 year old daughter and share joint custody currently. No CSA has been paid as they have both had her in equal measure. She is now requesting CSA as he has moved on with me his new partner. He wishes to have his daughter 3-4 nights a week. What rights does he have once the divorce goes through can she stop him seeing his daughter? Can she request back payments of CSA if they have always shared equal custody previously? I am worried she will take his daughter away. Can a contract be drawn up even if it is not legally signed by a solicitor detailing what both parties can agree on? As long as it is signed by both parties would it then become a legal document? Help!
Stephy - 13-Dec-17 @ 6:48 PM
rosered - Your Question:
My sister and her ex-husband are both very religious. They are divorced 2 years, 1 child in early teens. The divorce was paper only no court and ex-husband will not tell me if there are any settlements. My sister and my ex-brother-in-law have had a rocky marriage and she shows signs of domestic abuse - no confidence, not worked for 8 years, no money of her own. My sister cut herself off from us her family 2014-2017 and ex-husband invited us back into their lives. The ex-husband is now re-marrying and wants to move new wife into family home, under religious banner as all belong to the same religious persuasion. I am very unhappy at this turn of events. My sister will be humiliated and degraded if new wife moves in. Can her ex-husband do this?

Our Response:
This is a difficult question to answer regarding your sister as you don't say whether any financial agreement was made with regards to making sure your sister is provided for. If your sister thinks her ex husband has sidelined money or part of the family estate which is rightfully hers, then she would have to seek legal advice about taking the matter to court. Most long marriages work on a 50/50 share basis of financial assets and savings. Her ex is entitled to move who he wishes into the house post-divorce, if he is living there (you don't say). If your sister is living in the house, she can refuse to move as she is as equally entitled to live there. Much depends upon who is living in the house and who your sister's son is living with. Priority will usually be given to the primary carer of the child to remain in the family home (with the child if they are already living there) until the child finishes full-time education.
SeparatedDads - 12-Dec-17 @ 11:39 AM
My sister and her ex-husband are both very religious. They are divorced 2 years, 1 child in early teens. The divorce was paper only no court and ex-husband will not tell me if there are any settlements. My sister and my ex-brother-in-law have had a rocky marriage and she shows signs of domestic abuse - no confidence, not worked for 8 years, no money of her own. My sister cut herself off from us her family 2014-2017 and ex-husband invited us back into their lives. The ex-husband is now re-marrying and wants to move new wife into family home, under religious banner as all belong to the same religious persuasion. I am very unhappy at this turn of events. My sister will be humiliated and degraded if new wife moves in. Can her ex-husband do this?
rosered - 11-Dec-17 @ 9:59 AM
My son's marriage has come to an end with him walking out after a year of frustration. Both parties have said they no longer have feelings for each other. You They have a joint mortgage which my son has always paid for and continues to do so. His wife has an expensive car in her name but again he pays for. He pays his daughters nursery fees and also contributes £400 per month towards her upkeep.his wife denies him and us as grandparents access to his daughter apart from the occasional visit when she has to be present. What are his and our rights with regard to his daughter and does he have to keep paying in full for the mortgage, her car nursery fees as well as maintenance?
Grandpa - 23-Nov-17 @ 12:16 PM
@ The flash - you can leave whenever you want to. If you have kids then you would have to pay child maintenance to your wife once you leave.
BeNjd - 13-Nov-17 @ 11:33 AM
Me and my wife are no longer happy together. But we have dept and I am the only one that works full time. Have we got to wait till the divorce is finally settled before i can leave and start a new
The flash - 12-Nov-17 @ 5:40 PM
Mez - Your Question:
Hi,I've recently split with my wife and I'm after some advice on how best to move forward with the divorce. I have two children, aged 5 and 18 months. I'm trying to keep the split as amicable as possible although my ex is pushing for mediation/court proceedings. Thanks in advance for your help.

Our Response:
If neither of you can agree on particular issues, mediation is a good way to attempt to iron out those issues and come to a joint arrangement regarding your kids, please see link here . Unless you have both explored mediation first, neither of you will be able to apply to court (unless one of you refuses mediation or the mediation process breaks down).
SeparatedDads - 29-Aug-17 @ 12:34 PM
Hi, I've recently split with my wife and I'm after some advice on how best to move forward with the divorce. I have two children, aged 5 and 18 months. I'm trying to keep the split as amicable as possible although my ex is pushing for mediation/court proceedings. Thanks in advance for your help.
Mez - 28-Aug-17 @ 11:02 AM
I have removed myself from the family home due to separation. We have a joint mortgage and I am paying half that and also paying child maintenance. I have agreed to pay half mortgage for 12 months to let her sort herself out and then we are going to talk about the house/mortgage then. She has just called and said; she has looked into the mortgage and I'm legally required to pay half until my children have left full time education? Is this true and is there away to remove myself from the mortgage if she isn't willing to sell or buy me out?
Barry - 13-Aug-17 @ 9:16 AM
@LP - You can refuse to sell and then your ex would have to take the matter to court and the court would decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. It would be more straightforward if you were the primary carer, then the court wouldn't force you to sell and would let you stay in the house until your youngest was 18. It might be a different story if you have shared care.
NickU - 26-Jun-17 @ 4:25 PM
Hi, i am the farther and have shared residency of our 2 children, 10yrs (boy) and 14 years (girl) and remain in the matrimonial home whilst my ex resides in a large house with her new partner. My ex wants me to sell the matrimonial home asap to release her share of the equity.If i were to do this i would only be able to purchase a 1/2 bed property which would obviously be a problem bearing in mind the sexes of my children. I am of the opinion i should be allowed to remain in the property until my youngest is 18years and then sell as my ex's housing needs are catered for. Can anyone shed any light on this for me?
LP - 25-Jun-17 @ 11:41 PM
vjay - Your Question:
HiI have been divorced from my x wife now for 2 years she is living in our house with her fiancé now for 4 years she also has joint guardianship with my little brother who now lives with me after she decided she did not want him there anymore However my youngest son is soon to turn 18 and I want her to either buy me out or sell the homeShe shafted me in the divorce she was an adulterer however I did not site this as I did not want to upset my sons I ended up paying her legal fees I lost everythingHow do I stand getting my share of the house ??

Our Response:
If you cannot agree between you on how you should split the house, then you would have to seek legal advice. There are many factors to consider such as whether the house was in both your names, how long your marriage lasted, whether you have continued to pay the mortgage etc.
SeparatedDads - 4-May-17 @ 11:36 AM
Hi I have been divorced from my x wife now for 2 years she is living in our house with her fiancé now for 4 years she also has joint guardianship with my little brother who now lives with me after she decided she did not want him there anymore However my youngest son is soon to turn 18 and I want her to either buy me out or sell the home She shafted me in the divorce she was an adulterer however I did not site this as I did not want to upset my sons I ended up paying her legal fees I lost everything How do I stand getting my share of the house ??
vjay - 3-May-17 @ 1:57 PM
Separated nearly 2 years ago, we agreed 50/50 split of our son however I have him around 80% min as she constantly says she's busy etc. Throughout this time I have continued to support financially despite her earning more than me and the fact that I have our son more. As well as I get the child benefit in my name. I always have full responsibility for his Drs appointments etc as well as I take him on holidays etc but she does not. I need to know if all of this classes me as main career (for info we are still married and I was married when son was born) Thanks
Calhel - 5-Mar-17 @ 9:00 PM
Stu - Your Question:
Hi. My wife had an afair and move out almost 2 years ago leaving me with 2 kids of primary school age. She now lives with the person she was seeing. She wasn't willing to work and had never paid a penny towards the household. She also continued to take the child tax credits and benefits for around 1 year without handing any of it over for the kids. I am now seeking divorce and she is now seeking equity from the property. I was left to pay £10k to a trust deed with no help from her and I also put £12k of my own money into buying the house. Where do I stand with this given there has never been any contribution from her and she has left me with the kids? Is she entitled to anything?

Our Response:
Much depends upon how long you had been married and other circumstances. However, it is likely if the matter went to court, then you would be allowed to stay in the house until your children are 18. Your former contributions and your current ones would be taken into account. The fact she was not willing to work and didn't contribute financially when you were together would not count, as she was fundamentally contributing to the marriage as the primary carer. Legal advice in order to explore your options would might be helpful here.
SeparatedDads - 1-Mar-17 @ 2:57 PM
Hi. My wife had an afair and move out almost 2 years ago leaving me with 2 kids of primary school age. She now lives with the person she was seeing. She wasn't willing to work and had never paid a penny towards the household. She also continued to take the child tax credits and benefits for around 1 year without handing any of it over for the kids. I am now seeking divorce and she is now seeking equity from the property. I was left to pay £10k to a trust deed with no help from her and I also put £12k of my own money into buying the house. Where do I stand with this given there has never been any contribution from her and she has left me with the kids? Is she entitled to anything?
Stu - 1-Mar-17 @ 10:47 AM
My life was destroyed when my husband sent me packing, after 13 years we have been together. I was lost and helpless aftertrying so many ways to my husband back to me. One day at work, I was distracted, not knowing that my boss called me, so hesat and asked me what it was all about, I told him and he smiled and said it was no problem. I never understood what hemeant by it was no problem getting back my husband, he said he used a spell to get back his wife when she left him foranother man, and now they are together till date and initially I was shocked hearing something from my boss. He gave me anemail address of the Prophet Abuvia which helped him get his wife back, I never believed that this would work, but I had nochoice coming into contact with the sayings that I get done, and he asked for my information and that my husband was ableto propose to throw him the spell and I sent him the details, but after two days, my mother called me that my husband waspleading that he wants me back, I never believed, because it was just a dream and I had to rush off to my mother's placeand to my greatest surprise, was kneeling my husband beg mefor forgiveness that he wants me and the child back home, whenI gave prophet Abuvia a conversation regarding sudden change of my husband and he made clear to me that my husband willlove me until the end of the world, that he will never leave for another woman. Now me and my husband is back together andstarted doing funny things he has not done before, he makes me happy and do what it is supposed to do as a man withoutnagging. Please if you need help of any kind need, please contact Prophet Abuvia for help. His email is prophet.abuvia AT gm a i l . com his website is prophetAbuviasolutiontemple . webs . com
Sarah Coleman - 11-Feb-17 @ 6:57 PM
Shaggy - Your Question:
Hi I am coming out of a long term relationship. We have been together 18years. 2 years ago my wife fell for a man. Nothing happened and we continued to work at our marriage so I thought. She contacted this man 6 months ago to see if anything was there. It wasn't for him. I thought everything was good we talked about another baby. But the beginning of December she road me it was over for good. I've since found out she is on dating sites before we split. She has already had a one night stand. She seems to like rubbing my nose in it. All she says is I should of treated her better. Saying I was abusive towards her and controlling. If anything she was more on both. She has gone to women's aid care workers and all her friends this. They are not hearing my side. Since xmas she has threatened me with not seeing my boys. She said I have to go to the house and look after them there while she goes out. If I don't agree I can't see them. I feel as I'm just a baby sitter so she can stay out. It's messing with my feelings. Before I left the house for a bedsit. She would just sit on the sofa talking on datesite sites in front of me. Shw even planned to meetva married man 3 days after we spit. I had to leave it felt like she was mocking me. All she said was it her business we are over. I was there for Christmas then she told me she may be pregnant by me. Then said she had a 1 night stand 2 nights before. She left me Christmas day to look after the boys screaming at the oldest it all your dad's fault. She has since done that again. I have to do as she wants or I'm not having the boys. She has hit me in the past and had me by my throat. But she don't tell people that it's all what I've done. I still love her and always thought we would be together but who she has changed into I don't know. She says if we go through the courts I will have to look after the boys at her house as I have a bedsit. And probably more but I work full time. I'm not saying I don't want to see them but in her house when she goes out I think is degrading to me. I need some advice and hope you can help please.Kind regards

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this. It is obvious your ex has her own agenda and really, if you can, you should try and separate your feelings for your wife and concentrate now on what you feel is in the best interests of your kids. If your wife is dictating when you can and you can't see them, then you have two options; either to go along with her demands, or be a bit firmer and either suggest mediation in order to try and negotiate a more structured routine, please see link here. If she refuses to attend mediation, then your option would be to take the matter to court. In the first instance you may wish to seek some legal advice to try to ascertain what your options are. Our Separated Dads forum may also help you, as you will be asking advice from dads who have been through similar situations before. Much really depends upon how much you will let her dictate the terms of your arrangements, or how much you wish to try to take control of the situation and try to exercise your own rights as a parent.
SeparatedDads - 3-Jan-17 @ 11:29 AM
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  • Sam
    Re: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access
    Your sister was right I find you i will take bree .i find out she been hurt I will hurt you I swear on bible can’t…
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    What do you still think your a catch ?.you see through my eyes now .all I see is a joke .keep hiding loser
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  • sam
    Re: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access
    You hide my child cheat with my uncle for years and countless other and you still could put my child on the…
    24 February 2018
  • Sam
    Re: Divorce and Perjury
    Let’s resolve our issues come to my house .i am just lonely old pensioner looking for a friend.
    24 February 2018
  • Sam
    Re: Divorce and Perjury
    Hey you talking to Gordon?bigtyon ?.are you tell my mum that I m giving you trouble ?.remember when you told her i stole his wallet?hey come…
    24 February 2018
  • Chris
    Re: Divorce and Perjury
    And for record to late for Peace.you come any where near i belt you in the street and give one for the old days bring your (big man I dare you…
    24 February 2018
  • Chri laurie
    Re: Divorce and Perjury
    Tell bree she was a mistake and if (I am her biological father)tell her I want nothing to do with her( remove my last name )I am demanding.if…
    24 February 2018
  • Chri
    Re: Divorce and Perjury
    For record ex we do judge you .remove my last name.
    24 February 2018
  • Chri
    Re: Divorce and Perjury
    And for the record ex I am on disability pension so I can’t help you sorry .and it not my problem anyway get step daddy to step up .you get…
    24 February 2018
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