Understanding Parental Responsibility
After a separation, understanding your legal rights and responsibilities regarding your children is crucial. The starting point is parental responsibility. This is the legal term for all the rights, duties and powers a parent has in relation to a child and their property.
Parental responsibility covers decisions about education, medical treatment, religion, and where a child lives. Without it, you may find yourself unable to make certain choices about your child's upbringing or access information from schools and doctors.
If you were married to your child's mother at the time of the birth, you automatically have parental responsibility. This remains the case even after divorce. Marriage grants both parents equal legal standing from the outset, and separation does not change this.
For unmarried fathers, the position is different and depends on specific circumstances. The law changed significantly in December 2003, and whether you have automatic parental responsibility often comes down to when your child was born and whether your name appears on the birth certificate.
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Mothers automatically have parental responsibility for their children. For fathers who were not married to the mother, the rules depend on several factors. Note that these rules apply specifically to children born in England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have different legal frameworks.
You will have parental responsibility if:
- Your child was born on or after 1 December 2003 in England or Wales, and you are named as the father on the birth certificate.
- Your child was born before 1 December 2003, but the birth was later re-registered with your name added as father.
- You and the mother have signed a Parental Responsibility Agreement, which has been registered with the court.
- A court has made a Parental Responsibility Order in your favour.
- A court has made a Child Arrangements Order stating that your child is to live with you.
- You later married the child's mother.
If your child was born before December 2003 and you are not named on the birth certificate, you will not have automatic parental responsibility. This applies even if you have been an involved and present father throughout the child's life. The law simply did not grant automatic rights to unmarried fathers before that date unless certain steps were taken.
You can check your position using the free Rights Checker tool on this website if you are unsure where you stand. This tool asks questions about your circumstances and indicates whether you are likely to have parental responsibility, though it cannot account for every situation and is not a substitute for legal advice.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
How to Get Parental Responsibility
If you do not currently have parental responsibility, there are several ways to obtain it.
The simplest route, where the mother agrees, is to complete a Parental Responsibility Agreement. This is a formal document that both parents sign. It must be witnessed and then registered with the Central Family Court. Once registered, it gives you full parental responsibility. The form (C(PRA1)) and guidance notes are available on GOV.UK. You do not need a solicitor to complete this process, though you may want legal advice if your situation is complicated.
If the mother will not agree to a Parental Responsibility Agreement, you can apply to the court for a Parental Responsibility Order. The court will consider what is in the best interests of the child. Factors typically include your commitment to the child, the nature of your relationship with them, and your reasons for applying. Courts consider various factors when making these decisions, and genuine involvement and attachment are important considerations, though outcomes depend on the specific circumstances of each case. You should gather evidence of your relationship with your child, such as records of contact, involvement in their education or healthcare, and any communication with the other parent. Court applications involve fees, and you may wish to seek legal advice on preparing your case.
Another option is to apply for a Child Arrangements Order. If the court orders that your child is to live with you, parental responsibility is granted automatically as part of that order. Orders that only concern spending time with your child do not automatically confer parental responsibility. This route can be practical if there are already disputes about where the child lives.
Re-registering the birth is also possible in some circumstances. If you were not named on the original birth certificate, you and the mother can jointly apply to add your name. This requires the mother's consent and involves specific administrative procedures through the register office. For births in England and Wales, successful re-registration will grant you parental responsibility from the date of re-registration.
What Parental Responsibility Means in Practice
Having parental responsibility gives you the legal right to be involved in major decisions about your child. Schools, doctors and other organisations should recognise you as someone entitled to information and consultation.
Everyday decisions are generally made by whoever the child is with at the time. Parental responsibility relates more to significant matters: which school your child attends, whether they have a particular medical procedure, what religion they are raised in, and whether they can travel abroad.
Both parents with parental responsibility can usually act independently on most matters. However, some decisions require consent from everyone with parental responsibility. Changing a child's surname or taking them out of the country for extended periods are examples where agreement from all those with parental responsibility is typically needed.
If you and your ex cannot agree on a significant issue, either of you can apply to the court for a Specific Issue Order. The court will then make the decision based on the child's welfare.
Parental responsibility lasts until your child turns 18. It cannot be taken away simply because the other parent wants it removed. A court can end parental responsibility in exceptional circumstances, but this is rare and only happens where there are serious concerns about a child's welfare.
Having parental responsibility is separate from child maintenance. You have a financial responsibility to support your child whether or not you have parental responsibility. Similarly, contact with your child is a separate matter. A father without parental responsibility can still apply for a Child Arrangements Order to see his children.
If you are facing difficulties seeing your children or feel excluded from decisions about their lives, getting legal advice can help you understand your options. Many family solicitors offer an initial consultation, and you may be able to get help through legal aid depending on your circumstances. Citizens Advice can point you toward local services, and the GOV.UK website has detailed information on parental responsibility and how to apply for court orders.
Separation is difficult, but understanding your legal position is the first step toward staying involved in your children's lives.
Is there a way of tracking down such a relative and how?
Thank
I want joint custody 3 days a week and every other weekend. I believe she’s suffering from postnatal depression as she’s behaving irrational.
Being apart from daughter is absolutely killing me. I want to be able to co parent. I want my family to be able to spend time with my daughter.
My ex partner is insisting that we go to court and she has previously done this with a previous partner and knows how to play the system.
I really need help.
Thanks
Ben Kershaw
Please help me
I divorced my ex wife and she took my kids
She allowed me to see first but now she stopped me to see my kids
I don't want to tell you this because as a grandmother I have observed and I wish it was different for Dads, but one unfeeling and manipulative and uncultured woman can and will make your life hell on legs!
I wish I had the power to put things right for you. And if I was. judge I would hope that I could see through all of those lies and never join in with the status quo.
Just continue to fight my friend!
You Dad’s are valuable and much loved.
He has recently received a letter from a solicitor following their separation.
The letter states that:
'Our Son's Partner wishes to sever the joint tenancy held by our son and his ex-partner now held as joint tenants both in law and in equity. This means that you and your ex partner hold the property as tenants in common'.
Could anybody advice what we should do please. Our Son is a full time student with no income or funds for legal fees.
Thank you.
I have now moved back to my home town 30 miles away from him.
Now out of the children’s money he is expecting me to pay half of his costs to come see his children. I do not drive so would have to take the children on a 2 hour bus ride from Hull to Grimsby or pay him petrol money to come pick them up.
Please let me know your comments.
Nix
I have been trying to see my 2 year old daughter for 11 months. i have been trough courts and still going through them. why does all the power on when i see my daughter still with the mother when she does all the crazy things and i am being treated like i have committed crimes?
it seems i have no power no PR, who said the ex can dictate when or not i can see my daughter? What about the damage she is doing to my daughter, and i say that my daughter should be with me? how does this work in the 21st century still that by default the child stays with mum even though i had my daughter 60% of the time when we was together and i was the one who always put my daughter to bed every night for nearly 2 years while the ex was asleep on the couch.
Looking for some advice
How do I stop contact between my kids and their maternal grandmother on the grounds I believe they are in danger off suffering mental abuse due to their grandmothers past experiences with doing this to her own children.
Except I have my two kids 2-3 times per week and more if they need me ( youngest has Autism) so there are additional needs for him and extra time.
Now she is talking about moving 100 miles away (which I have no say) and I can see them now and again.
So taking them out of school, all Of their family including me is within 30 mins Currently, as well as the youngest support network and because of his Autism change is hard for him. He regularly needs me to call him and come and see him extra days because he just has to see me that minute.
With all of this in mind I feel that I should have some say in some of what’s going on? It seems we have no rights as a dad?
I have a question. Is it unfair for my ex to expect me to use 4 weeks of my annual leave as time with my children?
I don’t want to sound selfish and I know that many fathers are stuck unable to see their kids but I wondered if there was a legal point to this?
I only get 25days leave which would mean I would not be able to take time away with my partner.
Am I being a selfish guy here or is it unfair to expect this?
I currently work shifts and Have 2 overnights with my children every 9 days when I’m off work. Recently I have been asking for an extra night during my working week, where I would pick them after work (5;30) and either return them the following morning or take them to school. My ex , who is extremely controlling , has refused , without giving a reason . My question is am I being reasonable to have an extra night ? And if I were to take this mater to court what would be the most likely outcome ?. ( mediation is not an option as my ex has refused ). Many thanks .
Looking for advice my brother inlaw is divorced and has two kids one 19 and one 9.
His ex will not allow him to see his youngest son and has sent police to him and they advices him not to make any contact with her!
He is at a complete loss and desperately wanting to see his son.
I am trying to help but don’t know where to start!
Any help or advice would be much appreciated.
Thanks
Again...if this issue keeps popping up then apologies in advance.
Me and my ex split up 13 years ago.
I have a child aged 17 and another 14.
My ex chose to have another two with her new man. Therefore she has the responsibility of the 4 children SHE has chosen to take on. Whereas I have responsibility of 2 with her...phew ??
So...I have paid her since splitting and losing my job which has left me unemployed for 12years due to her leaving me in a dark place, causing medical issues. Anyway, since our split despite earning zero I have paid approx. 700% more in child maintenance payments since splitting up. I ended up losing all savings I had and in February 2019 I stopped paying her completely! I spoke with the CMS and they couldn’t believe it telling me as I was unemployed I didn’t have any obligations to pay!....obviously I gave her what I could for our 2 kids....to an affordable extent but never (with highensight) knew where I stood legally regarding payment amounts.
My ex hasn’t had a penny off me since Feb 2019 as she has what I feel now like she has openly stolen from me as much as she could because of me not doing my homework ??
Is there anyway I could possibly get back some of that huge amount she has stole from me so I can put it to good use now I have my one daughter staying here 80% of the time despite me still seeing my youngest for less than 24hrs a fortnight?
I’m going to guess the answer is no but I know for a fact that the money given did not go towards my 2’s welfare. It went towards the deposit and then the monthly mortgage payments because they now upped and moved to Stourbridge and not here in Birmingham anymore.
I was paying £240p/m for the last 8 months until my money ran out and as the law states that if I am unemployed I didn’t have to pay a penny and I don’t have that anymore. I’ve lost my house and live with my aged parents now!
So...ultimately, are or is there any way I can reclaim all of that money for my 2 kids that was never used towards them? Not my ex’s and her now husbands house and the pre-moved deposit on it. I bet you can tell how annoyed I feel about having the p*** taken out of me by such a ruthless mother of my 2 kids knowing this too!
Please put my mind at rest and give me an answer.
But.. then she drop bombshell
I don’t want you anymore you can see him for a hour once a week and your not going on birth certificate
He will be registered as father in know.... can she do that or is she breaking the law
Where do i stand on this?
With an of the future diagnosis & treatment.wadny married ,am biological father on birth certificate
.I know my right to ask for medical records. ?? Many thanks charlie
I was seeing them and now she’s said no
But this means I have now been torn away from his family etc
When he has their child for the day is it up to him or do we have to go by what she has said
Yes I can see that she was nervous with it but so was I since it was the first time but I'm sorry, surely I can make those decisions no? She even knew about it prior.
Apologies if this isnt the right place for this but, was I within my rights doing what I done?
My Brother has separated from his wife. They have three kids between them. The two younger ones live with the mom and the older one (13)
lives her dad. The ex wife as told my brother that the older one should not be living with him. She said the law said so. I have not heard this...would anyone know if it’s true please?
I have every text say she gave my son permission to take his son abroad, and took the money for the passport.......... can she do this, there is not court order for parental responsibility............
My ex has stopped me having any contact at all for about a year until last week.
I've just found out my ex has kicked my eldest out and now living with my parents. My ex text my mum to say she's signing all her parental responsibility and child benefit to my mum. I believe my eldest should live with me and my wife. Where do I stand as they are nearly 18 and I've been an absent dad.
wondering if anyone can give me some information. my partner and i live in cyprus (where we met) as he is currently serving.
before moving here his contact with his child was very limited, unfortunately the mother makes things very difficult. he took the posting for cyprus as he would see his son more even though he was in a different country.
as things have become very strained between the parents we are seeking legal guidance but unsure where to start - my partner does not want to take his son away from his mother. only to see him as we are to move home very shortly, so contact needs to be constant as he’s leaving the military in order to keep her happy and see his son more.
can anyone give us some pointers as to where to begin!?
What can he do ??the mother has stopped all contact.
Please advice
I had to go to court to gain access to see my girls and finally have a court order in place.
Despite Social Services now putting my children on an at risk plan they still remain with their drug taking abusive mother.
Social Services have been completely useless, obstructive and have now begun to bully & harass me as I will not comply with their way to do things.
Has anyone else had dealings of this sought or can offer advice ??
Thanks in advance
Is there anything i can do to stop this going forward.
My question is where do we stand legally with the following?
My partner has contacted the boys school and nursery to request a copy of their school reports and paperwork, however, nursery have said that legally they are not allowed to give us copies of these without the mums permission. She does not have “custody” (or Whatever it’s called now) the boys just love with her not us. Do we need her permission or is there something in writing that could support our request for this info?
Thanks
My son's (non- biological) children have been taken into care from their Mother.
My son split up with their mother 2 yrs ago after 4 yrs together but still saw the children including his own daughter.
Last year my son moved his own biolgical daughter from living with her mother to living with him because he was worried for her safety. He has continued to have the other 3 children every other w/end .
The social have now removed them from their Mother stating "significant risk of harm" this has been expected for some time, but the social worker, or any of the protection team will not discuss, or even talk to my son about what happens to them because he's not the (biological father)
He's going out of his mind with worry, they have 3 sets of grandparents and a step father (my son) who would look after them but they won't even listen to us.
Can anyone help, what do we do ????
Any advice would be appreciated
I have no idea if this is the right place to post?!
My situation is very different and I’m hoping some of you dads can help.
Me and my husband separated a year ago, we have 2 biological together and I have an older child from a previous relationship who he took on as his own. My problem is he doesn’t take the kids he sees them at my house, we split due to me catching him texting someone else and told him if he didn’t love me then leave. I have been amicable about him seeing the kids as he was a very hands on dad and had a strong bonds with them all. I’ve always said he can see or even have them whenever he likes, however he refuses to talk about anything he doesn’t pay towards the kids even when I have asked him to buy them shoes he don’t, I have asked him more recently to start taking the kids as he only sees them once a week our daughter is very confused and has big rejection issues as she was very much a daddy’s girl and the bond she had with him was like none I had ever seen he had to be the one to do everything for her and then like a hot potatoe she’s been dropped I try to explain that daddy still loves her and misses her so much everyday but she doesn’t understand why he’s not present. I’m trying to get my life together but I think after a year it’s time he stopped coming to my house to see the kids, I don’t understand why he won’t discuss this nor will he confirm he has a new partner yes the one he was texting, i really don’t get it if we are to work together then we need to communicate but he won’t, I have no one in my life and that’s fine, my kids are my everything I’m not interested. If anyone has any advice I’d greatly appreciate it.
Thanks
He has a son with his wife, and she conceived and had a son by another man while they were married.
My friend, being a good guy, decided to stay in the marriage because he felt that her behaviour was brought about due to undiagnosed mental illness. He has brought up the child that is not his, who has significant learning difficulties, as his own, investing both emotionally and financially to his upbringing. The biological father is not named on the birth certificate and has played no part in his life.
Recently my friend learned that his wife had been unfaithful yet again, and since she is now medicated for her previously undiagnosed mental illness he felt that there was no other choice but to leave. He decided to leave the house to enable the boys to have stability, despite it really being his wife who should leave (it's his house) but her behaviour has become a concern-bringing a new partner into the house to meet the boys and stay over against my friend's wishes (within 2 weeks of him leaving), smoking in front of the children, drinking heavily during the week, screaming and swearing at him in front of them etc.
He's only just started the divorce process and is considering going for custody, and although it shouldn't be a problem for his biological son, he doesn't know where he stands legally with the child who is not biologically his, and I know he wouldn't want to separate the boys.
Any advice on what he should do, where he stands? I've already advised him to keep a log of any concerning behaviour that she has exhibited. Thanks!
We had no contact, she told me to drop dead. She called when she was in labour and I went to the birth. She said she wanted me to be his dad. I saw the baby for the first week then she had a headfit and told me she was doing everything by herself.
She told me I would be named as the dad but she then said she'd cancelled the registration appointment because she was busy. She lied and registered him without me on the certificate. She's now sent a csa demand and I'm going to do a DNA test. If he's mine I want to reregister his birth and seek contact.
Any advice when I'm dealing with a hardfaced, uncaring and unreasonable ex?
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/232513/sponsors/new?token=z4m7VkXwcarBuI73cJ1z
Please could you sign and share this, I will be starting a Facebook and Instagram page soon but let's get the ball rolling now
I'm really hoping somebody can help me with advice, as I can't seem to create an account.
So, 6 years ago, I had a 1 month relationship with a colleague. We remained friends and within a week of us splitting she was with another colleague, and that relationship lasted about a year, give or take.
I found out that I could be a father 3 months before our daughter was born, and due to circumstances I had an independent DNA test, proving I was the father.
Since then, I've paid money to the mother and seen my girl either every other weekend, or every weekend. The mother has mental health issues and at times, our daughter lived with her grandma without my knowledge. She was then in another relationship that was very abusive and there was a lot of drugs and cheating.
Throughout the years, I have remained as my girls rock, and she has always called me daddy, and I've never refused to see her or pay money. I've bailed out her mother on several occasions, where she has spent her money on either alcohol or drugs, and it inevitably meant she couldn't pay her bills.
Now I'm in a completely new situation, one that has even dumbfounded myself.
She started a new relationship with an ex-police officer, who has been on long term sickness, roughly 6 months ago. Within a month, she moved into his house. They were engaged within 2 months, and now, from several sources I have heard that they plan on moving to Germany to get away from the debts that they are both in.
My name is on her birth certificate, and I remain in frequent contact with my daughter, however, her mother has become increasingly problematic since denying she take our daughters passport. I plan to take her on holiday abroad next year, and this has never been an issue. For example, last year I took her to Florida to swim with dolphins.
In the last 6 month's she now tells me how to parent my child, when she has spent 5 years doing nothing. I lost my previous job due to her unreliability, she would forget to pick her up from school, and I would have to leave work.
How do stop her from emigrating with my child? And how can I be sure that she isn't going to try and manipulate people to do this without my knowledge?
Any advice would be fantastic, and appreciated.
Many thanks in advance,
J
My partner and I have been together a while, known each other years as friends. He has a 6yr old son with his ex wife, and recently she has stopped my partner seeing his son (usually 3/4 evenings a week plus every other weekend) and she's based this on the fact that she doesn't want her son to be around me.. They are currently going through a divorce, and he has the same rights and responsibility as her. Can she do this? I think she is punishing my partner for moving on and being with a new partner, but really she's just punishing the child. Any advice? The only advice I've given him is to sit tight, not get into any arguments with her, ignore any abusive messages she sends and just to go through the solicitor, rather than have any unpleasant scenes on the doorstep or petty arguments via sms etc
My partner has an 8year old daughter who he pays Maintenance for monthly and has done every since his ex and he split up. Over the past year his daughters mother has been reducing the time we are allowed to spend with the child, always giving some excuse or another, however when she is here she has a lovely time and doesn't want to go home.
We are just wondering how we can set a firm routine for visits without going to court, what are our access rights and what can we legally do in demanding time with child.
Many thanks
My daughter has my surname as we were never married. I just need to know for future reference as believe our case may end up in court. Thankyou.
I live 140 miles away from my children. For the past year I have been expected to travel to collect and drop off my children. Is this a fair expectation or should it be shared - for instance; meeting half way?
Many thanks.
I see my son and i pay her money for him mutually. Is there anyway of getting my name on the birth certificate.
I also have holiday booked abroad with mother's verbal and text consent. She is now refusing to allow son to go for booked time although she is saying will let him go for less time. (5 days not 10 booked)
Applied for Emergency order re holiday and amended order for contact and mother has delayed process at every stage. Refusing mediation then demanding it 3 weeks later for example. Mediator told her that her demands were unreasonable when we attended and recorded that mediation had failed.
Finally got it in front of magistrate 2 weeks ago who said he was too busy to hear it and also that it was above his remit so adjourned it to this week. Went before Circuit Judge. Mother lied and said she had submitted statement to court (That cannot be located) outlining safeguarding concerns from Nursery and that son is unhappy to see me. When pushed by judge to agree to 10/provide evidence, she was 'taken ill' and rushed off in ambulance.
Case was adjourned until less than a week til we fly and put back to magistrate. CAFCASS have been asked to file a report but I have still to hear from them. Nursery have put in writing that they have no concerns. Mother was fit to pick son up from Nursery same day as hospitalization.
I've paid thousands in sols/barristers fees so far and 10 days before we go I still have no clue if I'll be allowed to take him., and very little hope.
Any advice?
What happens if magistrate refuses to hear it again?
Also, what if it goes in my favour and suddenly passport is 'lost'? I would have 2 working days to replace if that happened....
This never really happened, the mother allowed 6 hours in total twice a week, would not even discuss the option of extending the time, flat out refused that her son could ever stay over and never a holiday.
My partner took his son out once over a year ago and his son fell over as kids do, no issues, he told her straight away. The child wasn't hurt and in fact thought it was funny but she said her son had been put at risk and she was removing access. Since then she has agreed supervised visits once a month for maybe an hour just to go for dinner or something similar. She has told my partner he doesn't have to worry about his son not having a father in his life as he has her new partner as a father figure. She has now said that she is safeguarding her son and removing the risk of danger his father puts him in and that she is not prepared to change anything until her son is considerably older (he's almost 6) and that he won't ever be allowed to stay over.
My partner tried to start proceedings by going to mediation but she flat out refused to go and says the original order is worth the paper it's written on as she is the one who makes decisions affecting her son.
Yes he has PR but what can he do? He's absolutely distraught and just wants to spend time with his son.
We have all heard the stories of a parent taking their child for the weekend and not returning them or going abroad with them and it becoming extremely difficult for the other parent to get their child back. Thankfully, this is one of the scenarios that a PSO seeks to prevent. However, as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
can someone advise me thanks
My daughter is 2 in August. I live nearly 200 miles away after we split. I have her for a few days every few weeks but when I take her home I have zero contact. No phone, texts pics or updates. I have expressed my frustration to her mother but her mother refuses. What can I do?
Just need advice on how to arrange contact when a baby is h settled when they come back and he lives 3 hours away due to work
What I was asking for advice on is where he can turn to. He feels isolated and at his wits end and I dont know how to help him. No one ever seems to understand the situation we are in. I am worried he will do something stupid and all anyone ever seems to say is he should pay for his daughter. When his daughter was abducted (I stress, taken without consent, not the mother 'moving on with her life', purposely taken and official documents forged to get her out of the country) the police, m.o.d, hague convention, local mp were all involved. It has taken such a toll on him and I need to know where I can get him help. Without people being biased towards the mother.
Anyway I recently got made redundant from my job so I have relocated near to my children and I am planning to make a new life closer to them.
But now their step father is trying to get their mother to relocate again with the children.
But is there anything I can do to stop her at all?
I did awhile ago send a letter to my daughters school saying I refused their mother permission to remove them.
But would she still be allowed to?
What rights say do I have over where my children live?
There is nothing official between us at this time.
We are in England UK TIA.
I have recently split with my wife of 15 years we have 2 beautiful children who she is stopping me seeing and only allowing me 3 windows a week when i can call them is this legal or do i have a legal right as father to access to see my children.
There are no safeguarding issues at all.
Thank You
Sutty
I am father to a one year old daughter.
Me and the mother of my child were in a relationship for about a year, but things did not work out. She already had a 6 year old daughter with a previous partner, and during our relationship I took on some of the roles as a father figure to her daughter; reducing stress for the mother during pregnancy.
Once we split up and my daughter was born, my ex said that I could only see my daughter based on the premise that her other daughter was treated exactly the same. Now at first I had no issue with this. For example, If was to take my biological daughter away for a day out, I would not have the heart to turn around and say that her other daughter could not come along as well. The issue I had was that at some point divisions would form as both children could not be treated exactly the same all the time. One is my own flesh and blood. At Christmas or Birthdays I would not spend the same on both girls, being an example.
My ex and myself agreed on a monthly payment, based on the GOV website. I have always supported my daughter financially and obviously intend to do so, however the lack of contact is now starting to irritate; I'm missing the early years of my daughters development.
I'm not sure how to tackle this, I want to see my daughter but I refuse to sit down and carry a burden that's not mine to carry. I was only in her daughters life for a short period of time, and to expect me to assume a full father role for her just seems ridiculous.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you.
Do I have a legal obligation to continue to pay even though we do not see each other?
Any advice on best way for me to make contact to see if he would like to see me?
I am a non’resident father and I am just wondering if anyone knows:
Does my sons Resident parent need to tell me her address when they move house? (She has told me the area and for now the pick ups won’t be at that address but I feel like I should know where he is living)?
14 months later “our second child” was born, I was in the army and we had been moved to Germany (I had selected this move to break the hold her parents had and start life as a family) between the two births. I was involved in a near fatal incident and while recovering in hospital she had an affair.
The marriage dissolved. In the divorce she stated that I had changed lied about my age when she met me (so why marry me to start with?), after the birth of our first child I had changed (so why marry me to start with?) and that I spent extended periods of time away from her and my children (I was in the army).
She ran with my sons and vanished. I was advised by a solicitor not to pay maintenance and this would force contact. This tactic worked as months later I was contacted for maintenance. This I daughter advice about via the CSA and I gave her the agreed amount every time I saw “our sons”. The visits soon stopped, with only three visits over two years. She had gone to the CSA and stated that I had not paid her a penny since the separation. Money was deducted at source, an excessive amount was taken from my pay and I did not have money to pay direct debits; this resulted in a debt management plan and near bankruptcy (13 years on and I am still paying the debt).
I had no contact whatsoever, I had attempted every few months (as harassment was constantly threatened) and letters were refused. 8 years later I was medically discharged from the army and received a protected medical pension. Not happy with this I was taken to court. This was the first contact I had, evidence provided had been taken from Facebook (proving she could have contacted me herself, but chose not to), my mothers contact details were given (again, no contact was attempted). The courts acted in her favour, however, stated contact had to be maintened... this did not happen. In ten years I have not had any contact with her children and every response they are referred to as “her children”, I always state “our sons”.
In court I was ordered to contact her family to attempt to re-establish contact. Her brother is a mental health nurse and has done everything he can to ensure that I do not have contact with the children. This against the nursing code of conduct, I am disabled and a victim of abuse from this nurse, as he has removed my parental rights.
So I have supported her children with no contact allowed for ten years and every time I attempt contact I’m threatened with harassment or ignored.
How can this be right?
How can “the system” allow this kind of abuse?
I have paid in excess of £35,000 since I last had any contact whatsoever. Am I a
Thanks
I am a mother who wants to share custody with my daughters father. I am the primary caretaker and belays Csa. His name is not on the birth certificate, what are my options?
I have had to pay out over £20,000 over the last 5 years while he has to only pay £75 a month according to CSA this cannot be fair.
M
Thank you, Josh
I have three children with my ex-partner. I see the older two every other weekend for the full weekend. Sunday’s on the weekend I don’t have them overnight.
My ex will not let me take the youngest. Stating that if I wish to see him I have to visit him at her house.
Please help. I am on the birth certificate. Have parental rights. Yet she will not let me leave her house with him. But all is okay with the younger two.
Im recently divorced from narcissistic controlling woman. We have 50/50 custody over children. Last weekend my 4yo become ill during her shift. Next day, on my shift she emailed me at 6am asking how is our son. I haven’t seen her mail till 10am, responded 10.34am. She was already calling the police and now the whole week stacking me and accusing of parental alienation.
What are my obligations to inform her on my son condition. I divorced her for the reason that I could not be her servant any more.
Now she is abusing me believing my obligation is to report her everything immediately. I believe I’m providing best care in my time. How does my rights look here, advice please? I appreciate
Can anyone please point me in the right direction...as we are at our witts end !
My son has a little 3yr old boy who up until recently has been seeing every other day and every other weekend he sleeps over.
The mother has decided that he can no longer see or even speak to him on the phone.
This came about as we contacted Child Services regarding the health and care of the little boy...whom we have serious concerns about.
My son raised his concerns frequently with the mother but he was always dismissed so Child Services were our only option.
They called the mother to tell her and also contacted the nursery he attends and they backed her up...so Child Services dropped the case.
We are all fearful that something terrible will happen to this little boy...but shes such a good liar that she has everyone fooled.
I only want to do whats best for the little boy..but i constantly seem to be coming up again a brick wall....how can i get people to believe us !!
Please help !!
If you can give addresses or contacts for organzations in the north, Scotland,
Or South with advice for dads on legal issues of marriage separation, and child protection,
I have not found as many resources I would like,
So any help is appreciated,
Thanks, Steven
I have just told her that I am going on holiday for a week in May (my first holiday in the 2 and a half years since we split). I told her that she would need to get childcare for the days when I normally see the children. She hit the roof and said it was my responsibility to get provide childcare on those days as they are the days when I look after them.
What is the legal situation here. Whose responsibility is it to sort out the childcare? I take days off work to look after the kids during the holiday so surely it's reasonable to expect that she can take time off for me to go away?
I'm I'm shared housing and rent a room, I work full time in a well paid job, I'm a dedicated father as this shows from how well me and my daughter get along.
All has been going well until today...
I saw my daughter Friday, has her stay and wasn't well. Her mother picked her up Saturday afternoon.
I didn't speak contact my daughter's mum on bank holiday Monday as I was doing my own thing and had plans.
Late afternoon I decided to see if they were free, they were and happens to turn up without notice to see me, which happens to be at the same time a woman I'm dating left my home.
After seeing this, her mum has now said I'm not to have my daughter any more, I can't collect her from.nursery or childcare.
She has also said she will be moving far away so i can't see my little one.
Also saying that if she chooses to let me see my daughter, it will be supervised visits!
I'm on the birth certificate, and we have been split for 2 years.
All details between us have been fine, and now this.
I also pay more than needed for maintenance, which I offer as I am her dad.
What can I do? I need advice as I can't not see her. I'm a very hands on dad, and I do not want to lose this bond.
Pressing charges.
I’ve been to see a solicitor and I’ve decided to go down the 50/50 shared custody route I also informed children’s services about her and they have spoken to her and offered her help amd notes it down on file. Her anger worries me so that’s why I’ve decided to go for shared custody so I can have more of an influence on my daughter. As anyone got any advice.
My new partner has a nightmare ex. They are still married but she cheated on him and is trying to get him to sign a divorce for adultery because she doesn't want to wait 2 years. That's just the start. She has messed him around re: contact long before we met and now it is impacting us both. She has an illness which means she goes into hospital every so often at the drop of a hat. His job was impacted all of last year because of it and his position in the company is in jeapordy. She now says that she will get social services to force him to have the kids if she gets ill again. Can she do that? We can't afford for him to have time off work and it seems totally unreasonable that she can just disrupt our lives at the drop of a hat. She has family and friends. I have 2 kids plus 2 under guardianship so we have a busy house. We see his kids every other weekend but she has stopped phone calls/ week day visits. she is abusive and disrespectful and won't address behavioural issues etc. My partner has worked really hard to keep things amicable and be there for the kids but she is making it impossible and now demanding we have them whenever she needs us to! please advise.
After breaking up with my ex nearly 2 years ago. I have always had regular access to my little girl. Now she has got a new boyfriend and is planning moving away from home but still in the UK and she is taking my daughter with her. Do i have any rights to stop her?
As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
My ex has failed in a sugar daddy relationship for the 2nd time and is moving the kids school/ home yet again. She wants to move back to a rough area as her friends are there. I am trying to persuade her to move to my area as the schools here are excellent, lovely area and she has guaranteed child care for our boys when she's working as cabin crew. She's refusing. As she's cabin crew working odd hours she cannot get registered childcare and dumps the boys at all times of the day ( 5.45am on some occasions) on friends and people taking cash for ad hoc childcare. Would this be enough of a reason for me to get full custody? I read everywhere it's normally only granted if the child is at risk.. Would this be an at risk situation?
Thanks
I was at a circus with my daughter and once I could I started texting asking my wife who was that person and why didnt she tell me about him. She didnt want to tell me until I told her I was going to call social services cause I felt worried for my childs well being. Then she answered his name and that he was only a friend and that our child was never in danger.Besides my ex , her mother and her mothers sister all live together...anyways I still feel worried . What should I do...she doesnt want to tell me anymore about the guy who left after staying there a week.
Lately I've been denied the normal routine and being told last minute that she's changed hee mind and picks and chooses if/when I can see my son. I'm not sure what's changed for her to do this, but my son has always been a daddies boy and gets very upset when he can't see me, or when I have to drop him off at his mum's.
I'm on the birth certificate and have read the details of parental responsibility, but it seems a grey area about contact.
What can I do as seeing my son upset causes me to be very upset.
Iain Smith
Can I insist that she share this kind of information with me?
Thanks
I have been living in France for 3 years now and my kids are living in Devon with their mother, and haven't been able to bring them here for a holiday because my ex wife refuses.
My parents and other family members live in South Africa and this too has not yet been possible since we separated and divorced.
I would like to know what my rights are as father to bring my children to France and South Africa although my ex outright denies us. She is using all excuses possible such as there's too many terrorist attacks, her child from her new relationship will suffer separation anxiety if my kids are away on holiday.
My children would love to come and are always asking but I feel that my hands are tied, what children wouldn't love to go to Disneyland?
More concerning is that my son feels he'll be happier if lived with me than with my ex and her partner.
I feel that mediation and the court proceedings are the only option as trying to be amicable or to discuss anything reasonable with her is simply futile.
Please advise me what the best route or course of action for my situation is.
Thank you.
My partner moved back to her mums over 9 months ago after 16 years saying that we have drifted apart leaving me to support the children financially as well as doing the general day to day stuff at home. We have agreed that we share every other weekend as well has her taking kids to school in the mornings and dropping them back.
What rights would i have to have the children live with me permanently
I'm not bothered about my ex it's just about my children. I know they are "looked after " but it pains me not to know where they actually are.
Thankyou
My kids are living with my wife with male friend/cousion. Recently my wife ask me of a seperation but I feel like her cousins almost act like farther where my wife is very happy. Our youngest daughter is very scared to talk to me and very attached to cousin even called him daddy. I am stressed and confused in many ways go to handle this
My wife just lying down 24/7 can I take my kids with me but I’m living my cousin house
But I need to know what the law says if a school denies me taking My son out of school for half a day to travel down. 1h30min each way.
Can they do that or do we have rights? He is o to going on a school day because it is as close to his dad's birthday we could get. Thank you x
I need an advise, I have a 5 years old girl she live with her Mum befor she was Bourne we split up,
1- she choose name and use her surname not min while I am her biological father
2- she will not Allows me to take her anywhere without her permision
3-my name is not on birth certificates
4-she always tells me that I should be seeing her 3 days a week to be able to take her out on my own while I am student and working and paying for her £180 a month I couldn’t get extra time to see her 3 days a week but I do spend time towice sometime 3 times a week but it depend.
Now is any one can give me some advice what’s my wright and how can I do to wine my right
After the Fact Finding hearing a was granted weekly access via a contact centre.
Has anybody got any tips as to help rekindle our relationship as Harper (my girl) is very young and has not seen her Daddy for 6 months now?
I haven’t had any information from her mother about what Harper likes or dislikes..
In 2013 I was in an abusive relationship- her being the abuser. She got pregnant and ended our relationship and cut contact. In November 2013 I took her to court to get access to my child and was granted parental rights and a child arrangements order. During proceedings I had some contact in various secure settings. After the final hearing in March 2014 my ex and daughter disappeared and ignored the orders. I managed to with the help of my ex's father see my daughter for an hour on her first birthday but she vanished again.
Me and my partner have been looking for her ever since, we aren't financially in a position to pay for the court to locate her as well as another set of proceedings. We recently pin pointed her location to a local council estate as we learnt she was in a new relationship with a guy who we know to have a violent reputation. We've been asking around and suddenly we are getting abusive phone calls complete with death threats and demands for our address, which we have reported to the police. We are currently in a position where we do not know what to do now WE REFUSE to give up on my daughter but we have our own 2 year old daughter (who is chronically ill) and my partners 5 year old son to consider. Any advice or similar stories would be appreciated as I've no idea what to do next.. thanks in advance.
Best wishes
Me and my ex have split for over a year now and I have a partner and my ex is saying she will not let me see them when my partner is around. Can she do that?
Thanks
Dell
Me and my ex have been split for over 2 years now
We have always had a routine when we were together and since we have split that she drops the boys of at school and I pick the boys up they have been staying at mine every tues and Thursday and I drop them at her moms house where she has been living to save some money for a house and the nights that the boys are staying at hers she has been picking them up from mine as I pick them up from school
Since the split I have bought a house in the same area to suit the boys staying in contact with there friends and close for the schools
Now she's buying a house 20 miles away and is demanding that the routine has to change saying that the boys need to stay over Wednesday Thursday Friday every week meaning I have to drop of and pick up Thursday and Friday meaning I lose money with my work leaving me in financial difficulties
Can she make me do this
I have threatened to have the boys every other weekend snd pay the correct maintainence if she try's to make this happen
If I do this can she take me to court to make me have her routine
I'm completely lost in all this and don't know where I stand
Many thanks
My wife and I separated earlier this year and when discussing access over Christmas she has dictated that the children will be with her for the run up to Christmas, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and that this will be the case every year. I have asked for us to alternate Christmas day each year but she has refused. Does the law grant me any rights when it comes to Christmases and birthdays?
My ex told me when she was 8 months pregnant that she was pregnant with my child... I said I wanted to be part of the child’s life. I suggested a dna which she refused to do, but I carried on wanting access anyway. When he was born she allowed me to see him for half an hour, then after that I’ve not been allowed to see him, it’s been 4 months and I’ve still not been allowed to see him. I’ve contacted her so many times and she doesn’t reply. What shall I do?
After 4 months mum started to mess around with maintenance payment which halted without reason and the children decided not to have any further contact with mum because of trust issues., my repeated requests to re-start maintenance fell on deaf ears. (The maintenance agreement was between ourselves).
Mum has now re-appeared after 20 months of not seeing the children, asking to see them, which I have not denied but the children don’t wish to restart contact or see her unless she restarts maintenance for the youngest child, there are huge trust issues.
We were not married and both children have my name on their birth certificates.
Where do I stand as the children are adamant they do not want to restart contact or see her because of trust issues and that mum had no regard for maintenance.
Mum now says she cannot currently afford to pay after losing her job 3 weeks ago but was in full time employment during the entire 3yr period but chose to halt payment after 4 months.
I have no objection to mum meeting with our daughters on the basis that maintenance is being paid and this is not just a flash in the pan. She says she will pay when back in work but no time frame on this and I strongly suspect that she won’t pay based on the fact that she stopped paying when she was comfortable with money.
Obviously this does not appply to the eldest child who at 20 is now an adult and out of parental responsibility. However, the youngest child (aged 14) is adamant not to re-establish contact with mum unless she is paying maintenance., it’s a feeling of mum actually being bothered and great mistrust.
I currently only see my 2 yr old daughter Tues and Wed 7.45 till 4pm. I want more time and over night stays but she will not allow. What advice can anyone offer??
Plus who and how can I fight for more than 2 days per week?
I have the children living with me (age 8 & 10 ) and do all the washing, house work etc and she doesn't give me a penny towards there up bring even thought she gets child benefits money for them.
Her excuse is that she spend money on them when she has them for 5 -6 hours of the weekend. Basically what happens is she will pick up the children in the morning to take to school while i go to work,then picks them up at 15.30 after school and takes them back to the family homeuntill i come home from work at 17.30 then she leaves to go back to her mum and dads.
I want to have the kids living with me as i have proved over the last 5 months that i can provide for them and support then. What rights do i have to gain custody of my kids as it would brake my heart if i lost them aswell.
I havent seen or even spoken to them since July 3 months ago and its breaking my heart crying all the time, filling up walking down the street everytime I see parents with their kids.
Just feel my whole world has fell apart, got made redundant in a good paid job I had for 4 years then split up with ex a week later and been in and out of work since.
I cant take any more of this its been 5 months since the split things should be sorted out, instead I just feel lost and still at square 1, Ive even just wished I was dead as it seems to be the only option to rid of this pain. I dont have all this money for solicitors etc.
Question is, what are his rights to enforce that he has them overnight twice weekly? He can't afford any legal representation ( I think she is deliberately keeping down the overnight access so that her maintenance isn't lowered!)
Thanks in advance
He has asked for me to pick him up on a Tuesday as school finishes early. I have emailed his mother who has refused me picking him up as it's "not my day". He is 12 ,can I pick him up outside the court order times without my ex wife's permission??
I see my 3 children for one night every fortnight. This week my wife and I agreed at mediation that I could have the children for an evening a week, but she's now changed that.
She agrees that I have parental responsibility, but says that she has final say on access. Is this correct? She states that I have no legal right to access.
Please help
My partner is divorced and has decided to send his youngest to nursery on the days he is in my partners care. Does he need to get consent from his mother to do this? Dad is in the birth certificate so has parental responsibility.
My partners ex has stopped him from seeing his son, when his son was born in 2015 and when they first went home she split up with him and kicked him out the house ever since then theres been trouble.
But he was able to see his son regularly. But in January 2017 her daughters school involved social services due to a bruise on the girls head being said to of been caused by my partners ex so her children were taken off her for 2 weeks. And he had his son for 2 weeks.
But since she was allowed the kids back, she has stopped my partner on so many occassions from having his son. Now hes not seen his son for around 6 weeks, due to many different excuses from either shes taken them away, his friends have been rpund treathening, or shes scared of my partner (who wouldnt hurt a fly), accused him of abuse, said she doesnt want her son around his family (who absolutely adore his son).
But social services are allowig this to happen. But this is all so frustating and we just dont know what to do. It was due in court on the 7th sept 2017 but again she had am excuse and postponed it.
HELP!
This upset my ex and she's now cancelled all contact with my son, my ex has blocked my number and isn't replying to any messages I send.
I wonder what to do next?
She has been suffering from depression and anxiety over the last few months.
Shes decided she wants to move 6 hours away with our son.
Away from both grandparents and other friends and family.
Do i have any chance in getting her to stay in the area?
Do i have any chance of getting my son to live with me?
My daughter was born here in the uk. My girlfruend is Hungarian and we are not on solid ground. She wants to get my daughter a Hungarian passport, can she do this without my involvement? My name is on the birth certificate. Does she need my permission to take my daughter on holiday too? Basically, i am worried that she will take my daughter away.
This is 4 hrs away ,my daughter stays with me every other week ,so week with week with out,
She is 7 , I have her at least 2 thirds of any year , she does not want to go , and wants to be with me and my new partner , who she adores , she says mum drinks and is always fighting with her new partner , I have always paid maintenance never missed one,
Can some please advise me
I want to ask a question.I have divorced and 2 children living with me and me and my ex are following the court order which is relating to our children.My children's school closed permanently it was a private school and dad is paying fee.But now problem is that he wants to enroll the children in a private school and it is far away from my home it takes 1hr drive to go there abs report of that school is also not good that's why I want to enroll them in other private and religious school but dad is not agree.He wants to go to the court. As a mother can you please tell me my rights?
Thanks
Also, he has them every weekend and has asked for every other weekend and a couple of days in the week.
My partner started mediation to discuss this arrangement but his ex wife has said if he does not make an appointment next week, in a different county (at east an hours drive from home) she will escalate it to court. He is unable to get annual leave at such short notice (and has a letter from his employer stating this has been refused) so has had no option but to decline this appointment.
She has said that if he wants to see them every other weekend then he will only see them every other weekend. He wants to go to court and get a contact order for every other weekend and a couple of days in the week but he's not sure if this makes him look bad.
His reason is he works every other weekend and is in a band so quite often the children will stay with grandparents and he misses out.
His ex is insisting on a 3 and 4 night share. She has them 4 nights, he has them 3 nights. He wants the childcare arrangements more fair but she is refusing.
Does he have any rights?
The problem we are having is that she is suggesting that is morally wrong of me not to move out of home to leave her the house for her and the kids to live in, suggesting that I pay half the mortgage and pay no maintenance and look at it as an investment. Morally wrong as the kids should have a stable and secure furure in a home they recognise. My answer to this is that I too when I have them will also want to ensure they are safe and swcure within a home they recognise. I have the ability to remove her name and secure the house for just me and the children, if I were to move out I would have to pay rent, half a mortgage, half the childcare costs, before I could look after myself. I would no longer be a rock for the children. Morally for me I do not fancy the thought of her living in this house with another man when the time comes, and playing happy family in a home I would not only be paying for but worked so hard to create, while I struggle to make ends meat. I would like some suggeations as to how I should approach this situation. Thank you for reading this.
Is it possible to change a court order without having to go back to court. My days off at work have change due to a promotion and my ex partner is beem stubborn.
What rights do I have as her father?
my wife and i have recentlysplit up and she wont really let me see my lad who is 5, or isnt being cooperative, i know she is poisioning his mind , but my question is even though i have got the solicitors involved, can i go to the house with the police, to pick up some of my things do i need to tell her..
please, its starting to look like she is not the woman i married , talk about warped....
Can that consent neglect loss his rights
We have been informed that my partner (mother of all children) is likely to loose her children and they will be put in care. Having found a lot of criminal history belonging to the husband, he will not likely gain custody ether, and has been told that the results will likely be the same for him.
Where as a father to one, and another on the way does all of this leave me? I want my children home with me and not in care.
I do not live with my partner (mother to my children) but that is a recent thing due to their care order.
The husband used my criminal record of domestic abuse against my partner. I'm not attempting to justify my actions, I did wrong, but this was an incident in the past.
One of the rules of their care order is that my partner was to keep their children away from me, so to help matters I thought best that I moved out until the case was dealt with and closed.
Do I have a leg to stand on? Or are they likely to stop me before I speak the word 'custody'? As it is, my children are likely to be taken into care next week and there seems to be nothing that I can do about this dispite me being the paternal father of one and soon to be another, and yes, I'm noted on his birth certificate. I feel totally helpless, I should be protecting my children, but am being prevented from doing so due to their custody hearing mess
Thanks
Jay
I originally wanted him every weekend all weekend,but his mother said no,as she needed quality time at the weekend too..to which I reluctantly agreed too(I have him every Friday,then take him home alternate week's,till Saturday 6pm,then Sunday 4pm)
Now as he's starting school in September,she's now asking (demanding)that I give up a weekend once a month as she won't see him as much once he starts
Iv sent an email to her detailing every minute/hour we are both with him including hours asleep getting ready for school etc,and she gets 40hrs per month actual quality time with him more than i do
She doesn't believe that going out to soft play with friends,going to see family members constitutes as quality time,as well as reading etc on the evenings once he's at school...and doesn't realised how blessed she is to be able to getting him ready for school,and kiss him goodnight EVERY night
All the above I have to squeeze into a short amount of time every weekend as well as trying to have 1 on 1 time
As she works Wednesday and Fridays once the half term holidays etc start..i will be the one taking time off to take care of him,understanding that she has to work to provide..but the flip side is I will never get the opportunity to have a week or 2 off myself to take my boy on holiday..where she has done it twice already!
Iv been flexible on many occasions when asked to bring him home earlier or later to suit her social calender(ironic that the Sunday she tried telling me that this is what she wants to do,I get a text asking to bring him home 2hrs later so she can go out for lunch with her mom)
I would do anything for my boy,but being called unreasonable for not agreeing to these demands,when the bottom line is she cannot organise her time to prioritise her son without taking away my already small time with him,got my back up...iv every right to want more time myself,but because I understand her situation I don't..
Am I in the wrong to say no
Shane
Thanks
Does mum have any right to stop their dad from seeing them without any reason.
Regards
Jean
The biological father of my children (one 14 born before December 2003 and the other 10 born after that date, and he's named on the birth certificate but we were not married) has had no contact with them for 8 years and not seen them for 9 years, I had to get an injunction due to abuse. The court advised him to have supervised visits if he wanted to have contact but he never did and has never paid any maintenance towards them. My husband to be who has brought them both up and financially supported them for the past 8 years wants to adopt the children as his own. What rights does the biological father have over this decision? And does he have any rights for information from the children's schools? I would be very grateful for any advice given.
My ex has stopped me having contact with my daughter, we've been fine for ages and I'd have me girl for 3 nights a week sometimes more if she needed me to, but now she has phoned the school told them I'm not allowed to pick her up until I get a court order! I've never been abusive or anything for them to have grounds to do it! I'm seeking legal advice but Carnt see someone till next week!
So my question is can she stop me going to school and picking my daughter up on the agreed days that me, my ex and school had an agreement in place?
Just looking for advice , I have a 3 year old daughter , haven't been with the mum for a while , but makes it really difficult , I see her every other weekend , asked for more but got a straight no ... I'm planning on going court for more time with her .
I was told by the mum that she is seeing someone ( which is fine) but my main concern is what type of person is around my child , would I have a right to know That ? Also I pay maintenance and half the nursery bill , but have been told by the nursery that the mother didn't pay it after I had given the money to do that and that she has taken her off a day would I be entitled to know that ? Instead of coming from the teacher ? And lastly she is taking her away strangely enough planned for my weekend away do I have the right to know where she is going and who with ? Any helps would be appreciated
I want to know if the children are allowed a choice of who they want to live with, as I will be moving from Scotland back to South Wales.... I have a feeling my two sons, the 8 and 11 year old will want to live with me, is this a possibility? As I think the wife won't want this to happen...
Thanks In advance
My brother has been with his partner (unmarried) for 7 years. They co-own a house and have 2 children.
He wants to separate but his partner is threatening moving the kids away if they do.
Does he have any rights to stop that happening? He would let her stay in the house with the kids. He just can't cope with her moving them away.
Any advice greatly appreciated
Thanks
I found out earlier this week, that my three children have been taken off their mother who has bad alcohol issues (this was the main reason me & my ex split) & I am currently in the process of receiving legal help with regards to actually getting my children & residency with me etc.
However, I need advice on the maintenance payments. I was paying maintenance every week,without fail, straight from my wages directly into her bank account, until i got told that my children had been taken off my ex (their mother) due to her drinking.
I cancelled the payments due to this, as she does not have the children at the moment & also i am NOT funding her drinking. The money for the children will be saved by me for them. Am i correct to do this?
Advice would be appreciated, Thanks.
we had good relationship because of the child, we agreed on doing things on our own so we never had a court order or anything. I'm on the child birth certificate as the father.
so i was wondering if she has the right to just move with my son even if i don't agree.
first i moved here so i could be with my son and now she wants to go somewhere else.
I need help as I'm gonna fight to see my children. Please can someone help, just feel all on my own and don't know where to turn.
Kind regards
Nobby
I separated from my wife over 18 months ago and since then I have had to move back to my parents while I try and sort somewhere for me to live. I have been looking for a while now and all I can afford is a room in a house share due to the fact that I am still paying half of my mortgage. Unfortunately renting a room does not allow me to have my children overnight and my ex will not allow them to stay at my parents with me due to not enough room. I was wondering what advice you can give me about my mortgage as someone told me that I can get a valuation of my house , state that I will accept this amount if/when house is sold and that I can stop paying the mortgage now as this would then allow me to rent a flat in order for my kids to stay with me. I would appreciate any advice possible to help me
I have a 14 year old son and a 19 year old daughter. They left their Mum to come and live with me after bullying behaviour from their Mother 14 months ago. We live very happily but the children do not hear from their mother nor does she make contact at all with my son and rarely with my daughter. We now wish to go to Spain on holiday but my ex will not sign a letter giving the Passport Agency permission to replace the passport he "lost" (suspect she kept it) when he left to move in with me. When my daughter asked her she said "Tell them I'm dead". Point is, is there an age when my son may legally request that his uncaring Mum have no further control over his freedom to live a normal life? Does he have to wait until he's 16 just to replace the passport lost when he came home to live with me? Is he to be deprived of normal family holidays abroad until he reaches 16 just because his Mother is extremely bitter in respect of his choice to live with me. I do have PR as both children were born during our marriage of c.17years. If she remains stubborn what recourse does My son have through Family court in U.K. to obtain permission to travel with his Father, given his extremely settled life in U.K? I have heard that he may be able to take his mother to court himself to obtain an order to allow him to get a passport and permission to travel and that this representation is free to him as a child? I imagine this must happen fairly often, has anybody experienced it and how did you cope? This is not a toddler being removed under cover of night to live abroad raised by foreign grandparents, this is a PR-owning Father taking his son on a well-deserved holiday. Please,any help? Thanks in advance.
I would really need soom help help with the two eldest Emily and jack living iñ seperate houses please help me
We have shared responsibility, I have told her that I will buy her out of the house and keep the children with me, she would have complete access to the children at any time she wanted. She seemed to agree with this but I received a letter from her solicitor saying she wanted the girls to stay whith her and a complete reversal of what we had talked about.
As the girls are adopted and we have 50% parental responsibitly who will be given the right to look after the children?
After a turbulent couple of years of a lot of arguing and not talking to each other, my wife of 17 years suggested we seak counselling last year. We did, but I found the female counsellor constantly looked at the negatives, not the negatives of our marriage. We have two wonderful children who we both love very much.
I received a call in December, but no one spoke. I called the number back and it was the solicitor we had purchased our house through 10 years previously. They said they had even trying to reach my wife, but left no message.
My wife said it was obviously a mistake, and they'd retained our number on file. But we'd changed our number since, and phone records showed she had called them on 2 occasions. She admitted she had lied, had contacted them after out counselling, but had not gone as far as meeting them for discussion.
Yesterday, she hand delivered me documents from her solicitor for a divorce. I haven't slept or eaten since.
We haven't sat the children (14 and 12) down to discuss, yet. They will be distraught. As am I.
She says there is no one else and that i am emotionally controlling. I dispute this accusation, but do agree I have an issue with my wife adding male 'friends' on social media sites - people she went to school with 25 years ago and had never seen since, and them liking pictures of her doing pole class and wearing very little. Can this really be used against me?
I do not want to get divorced. Without this becoming a huge financial burden in the courts, what is my best option for refusing/extending any time period? I need time to win her back.
And can she prevent me living in our shared house? She hasn't asked me to leave, but that seems the next logical step.
I am not disputing any payments, Ie mortgage, maintenance. Although she has moved a large chunk of change from our joint account to cover this.
Please advise. I'm at my wits end!
Thanks
I am on the birth certificate i pay my maintenance every month but feel i should be allowed more than 2 hours with my daughter?
Is there anything he can do? Any help would be much appreciated.
Thank you
we have been separated for approximately 2 years and i have had our daughter every weekend without fail and taken her to school each day for the best part. i have a strong relationship with our daughter.
what can i do? Please help us
I have had moments of pure evilness from her over the years around time spent with my daughter. It's not that she refuses me access, it's more that i can only see my girl when it suits herself. I work full time and only have free time at the weekends.
My ex has recently split with her current partner to which she has a 1 year old.
She started working full time again, and was allowing my 10 year old to walk home on her own and let in the house by her naighbour un-supervised for around 3-4 hours until she returned from work. When i found out, rather than reporting herself or making things hard, me and my current partner supported her and paid my 16 year old step daughter £15 per day to collect her from school and feed and entertain my daughter untill her mum came to pick her up. We agreed that we would do this Twice a week to help her out with child care.
This of course ment that i was paying and extra £120 per month on top of my Maintianence, but did not mind with the piece of mind that my daughter was not left to look after herself at 10 years old all week as other family members had her the other days and i had her fri/sat - sun regulary. Meaning with her own days of her family only had to help out one day a week.
This worked great for months, my daughter was happy as she gets on great with my partners kids.
My Ex started asking for 3 days a week, then 4 and it got to the point where it was hitting my family hard finacially. but i did not want my daughter to suffer.
I contacted my ex and said that this is now costing me £180 - £220 extra per month on top of my Child Maintinance, she hit the roof and has now stopped me from having my child.
Also she is now leaving my 10 year old on her own or with a new boyfriend that she's only know around a month. Is there anything i can do to stop my child being left on her own?
In a seperated non married relationship.
Can a mum demand to see where her children will be staying when not with her (with her dad) before she allows her children to stay away from her on agreed days of the week? Also using this as a block to even visit the children at her home.
Thanks
I will be purchasing my own property separately.
What right financially and legal do I have to the property I will be leaving?
I have now been separated for a year. Now with Christmas approaching it has all blown out of proportion who will have who when. So it seems to spite me, my ex wife has started to be awkward about me seeing the children out of any agreed times. Obviously this is very brief description of my situation but my question is:
If either child on a non arranged day (if they have nothing on) would like to see me after school to play football or whatever, do they have any rights over what the mother says. The boys are aged 16 & 12
Thank you for your help
I have split from my partner and am named on the birth certificate. My ex has offered me 3 times per week contact totalling 8 hours, I am aware this is more than some fathers however still feel it is not enough.
Social services are involved as they deemed our realationship not good for our child, so we have split. Things were never bad but we argued and they said that was emotional abuse.
I want to know where I stand on asking for more time please.
Hopefully there is someone out there that can help and give some advice and info as to where I stand and what rights I have etc to be informed of things like this..Many thanks
I have a contact order in place I have aprroched my ex who suggest my daugther who is going to high school has no time for me .
Some how my daughter mind had been poision against me she wont talk to me
She has her own phone which now is never answer
This has made things harder to for me to make any contact as we have always been so close
I am going to try once more to resslove this before I will have to go to court which I dont look forward to exspenive and more delays
What do yo suggest
My ex wife has just moved and everytime I ask for her new telephone number my request is ignored.
Ever since my ex wife walked out of our marriage 6 years ago I took the decision to speak with my son every day. Currently I can only do this via her mobile number which, if she decides not to pick up then I am unable to speak with my son.
Am I entitled to her land line number or do I just face the fact that I can only speak with him via her mobile. .
Any advice would be welcomed.
When we split up she moved away and I have not seen her or my children since. I have been trying to find them since, but have heard that she has changed her name and the childrens names, which makes it incredibly difficult to find them as I do not even have a starting point.
Are there any legal rights that I have or avenues I can go down to trace them, as it has been nearly 10 years of their lives I have missed out on.
I've got 9mth old twins and 5 months pregnant. Im splitting with my partner but he won't give me the car keys to leave nor will he let me leave with my babies. I've tried calling the police but they won't get involved even though I told them i don't feel safe.
What are my rights in Scotland as a mother? Thank you
She only allows me to see daughter if I go to her house whilst she remains in the room and watches me. This makes me extremeley anxious and depressed as I do not get on with my ex.
Is there anything I can do?? My daughter is going on 5 months old now and the majority of my family and friends have never even seen her. I'd like her at my own house, even if it's only an hour or 2 a week but she isn't allowing this.
Thanks,
Then we had a one last try 8 months later and she fell pregnant. However we'd had fallen out shortly after and she didnt inform me until 3 months in. I am now in a committed relationship and planning a family of my own, this news has obviously been problematic in my current relationship.
What rights do I have? She doesn't want me to have any parental role in this child's life. Would I still be liable for child maintenance if she is refusing to let me have parental rights over her child?
Can she stop me just collecting him anyway as long as I would let her know, or can she make it so that the childminders will not release my son to me as she's paying etc.... ?
I have got no where to live and I'm in the uk at min but trying to get bk to Spain
He has now got bored of looking after the kids and says he's bringing them bk to U.K. To leave them with my parents
But he needs to get passports of embassy I've told the embassy I don't give permission for them to leave Spain
As they have school paid for and they don't want to come to England
Can he get a passport without my permission
I am in the Army soon my leave I want to see my baby girl for 7 days, however the mother is been so stubburn about it and giving my random days and 1hour on Christmas Day.
Can I apply for a court order where on my leave I can have my daughter for 7 straight days, without her choosing random days here and there.
Also I pay £800 a month in to a joint account and she still lives in my house in my eyes I can't be any more tidy.
Thanks in advance
Thanks
I had a child after a one night stand with a girl, she kept the child, I wasn't involved with the pregnancy at all as I didn't want the child, I asked her to have a termination.
I spoke to her around 6 months into the pregnancy and asked her about having a Dna test, it became a heated argument because of the way i spoke to her & she said to me respect her or she won't do anything and that was it. I haven't spoken to her since.
The child is now around a year old I haven't made any contact but she is saying to my sister ( who i don't speak to ) she's going to get child maintainace from myself for the child. How do I go about this? I don't want contact the child is nothing to do with me .. Do I still have to pay? And will I get contact in result of Paying? Also would I get pr rights even though I'm not on birth certificate
My wife & I are separated but not yet divorced, we both have parental responsibility and I pay maintenance through CSA. Two children stay with me & my partner for 3 out of 4 weekends a month. My ex has demanded that I have children for a total of 6 weeks out of their school holidays next year but I only have 4 weeks of annual leave from work. Can she force the children into my care?
Many thanks
And Community Services say, we can"t force her to admit he is the father. For goodness sake Child Support accepted my wages/income for twenty years, isn't that enough evidence for the Family Court?
It's come to a head recently as the ex stopped contact because my partner changed a social media picture to one of myself and him. My partner is so very scared of losing his daughter that he's playing by her rules, he now wants to stand up to her but what are his rights? They were married and he's on the birth certificate so has parental rights?
I now see my children 3 times a week however do not have no say and I cannot even support them on there disagreements she just picks them up straight away.
Does anyone have any information support to help me.
I have been advised to phone the social services and ask if they did take my rights.
Thank you
We have recently had a fall out and she is now threatening to take away my contact with him. I know as I am not his biological father I have very few rights, however as I have stated, he believes I am his dad, he calls me dad and in all honesty I have been his dad from almost birth. Please help me
My brother and his wife split up 4 months ago. The children have been living with him (their father) in the family home. She left and has moved in to another house. She now suddenly wants to take the children and has told him she wants the children mo day to Friday. He is devastated. Neither of them can afford court and she won't go to a mediator saying she has the right to take the children. Please please advise.
Friend of mine, split with his ex over a year ago! They had a joint agreement with him seeing his daughter regular basis, now he has got into a recent relationship she has decided to go round and say he is a bad dad etc! He is worried what affect its having on his daughter because they saw each other every weekend and also some week days now it's completely stopped!
Is courts the only help blokes recieve? She seems to be able to ring Csa take money of him, which he doesn't mind paying but he wants contact yet no one seems interested in helping him seeing his daughter unless he goes through court! Surely there should be other ways for him to have his right back!
They was married, he is on the birth certificate, she is preg and moved on with someone else who happens to smoke weed aswell which he is concerned about! Doesn't want that around her, if he you do it go else where!
He and his ex girlfriend seperated before the birth of their son, she allowed him access to his child for a couple of months and then stopped his contact with the child and moved house and phone number so he cant contact her. He has now found out off her mother that his name is not on the birth certificate her new partner who she moved in with before their son was born is. He is heartbroken and just wants to see his son is there anything he can do to gain access?
My 14 & 9 year old children were placed with me and my partner by social services 2 years ago (having been taken off their mother) i was wondering what parental rights i have to them as they have been living with us for the full 2 years and i am on the birth certs.
Many thanks
Recently my partners ex has started demanding we have them more, and doesn't accept that once or twice a year we may have a special occasion to go to on a weekend and are unable to have his daughter's.
My partner works full time and works many weekends, I am more than happy to look after the children when this is the case. But now his ex wants me to do it in the week too. Also, our children go to different schools so it is impossible for me to do all the school runs. His ex just says it's our problem and we have to deal with it. We often get extremely abusive txts from her. She doesn't work, but still expects my partner (who works full time) or myself to do so much.
Is all this acceptable? Is it realistic of her to expect this?
Thanks in advance.
My girlfriend is currently pregnant and would stay out on the nights I would potentially have my daughter. The mother still refuses to allow me to have her even though I have been committed to my daughter throughout her life and pay for everything.
Do I have any rights and what should I do?
Thankyou x
In that time i have been nothing but consistent.
I have my son every weekend, a week in the 6 week holidays, week at christmas and the October half term too.
I have asked that i have him every weekend but he stay over every other and she said no.
However, On the weekends i don't have him, She has her friends looking after him and she goes out.
She calls me at a days notice and says she is going away with him for a week and that i can't see him.
She often puts him in clothes that are too big and unironed, rarely does his hair.
I pay full maintenence each month, plus his nursery fees and his clothing and haircuts.
She keeps threatening to move 400 miles away with him, Refuses to answer my calls or respond to texts when all i want to do is speak to my son.
What are my rights in obtaining full custod and letting her have him every weekend?
I don't want any maintenence from her, All i want is my son.
It's heart breaking as my son is the only thing that ever matters to me. He is my best friend and Daddie's boy too.
I'd understand if there was violence or fear or provocation of in our relationship but there wasn't. I don't drink, Don't smoke, nothing.
I like it he not tried any effort whatsoever in 2yrs but coz he took me to court. Apparently not good enough reasons in the courts eyes. I stand by my reasons. I think personally it was in best interest of my daughter. As classed as neglect in my eyes.
He has 2 kids from previous, not seen for 4yrs and not tried to either.
How can this stand up in court?
Should I of contacted social services, due to neglect. Do I in future?
I need some advice please. My wife is rather neurotic and seems determined to punish me for, well, being me. I have moved in with my 78 yr old mum, my wife (who has no family) is in our house with kids. They now know that a divorce will happen. I suggested to my wife that, until finances etc are resolved, I see my kids every other wkend and stay over Sat night while she makes herself scarce and maybe stays with a friend. (Not really room at my mums and they are in exam seaon which i dont want to disrupt.) She has told the children that I could see them every other Saturday day but since, unlike me, she has nowhere to go, she won't stay away.
I am not happy to go from seeing them every night to none at all.
I left at her request and after she told me some hateful things about what she and her friends think of me.
I know it's early days but I have contacted her to suggest ways to mediate towards divorce and to agree fair access to my kids. She has ignored these despite me asking that we be amicable and don't use kids as go between.
I am prepared to accept that she may find it hard to stay away 1 night a fortnight but she seems to have no sympathy for my situation. I could insist that i sleepover there every other Sat and ask her to keep a low profile. Bad idea?? Otherwise I may manage to get 1 (or 2 if lucky) of my 3 kids to stay a night at my mum's.
I guess if she wants to be unreasonable in a bit stuffed!!
I was wondering, does he have the same rights she does? She doesn't actually have full custody of them, she and my husband just agreed it was easier for them to stay there. Should we just go to court and go for joint custody? And is it expensive? And if there is an agreement during mediation, is it enforceable?
Any advice please help
thanks
Now we have separated for a multitude of reasons I have no reason to be away from my other 2 children and I want custody of my 3 year old and have him live with me and able to see his brother and sister.
I left as my partner takes drugs. I can't abide it even though it's only pot it's just not right in my view when there is a 3 year old in the house. I felt so strongly about this I begged her to stop but she wouldn't often calling me names etc.
My argument was always do what you want outside the house orbit friends just not near my son. when my son was two I was working away and came home early. When I walked in the house their was pot everywhere and it stunk, she was smoking and my sons room stunk.
I asked her to go outside or I would report her. She goaded me to report her so I rang the police. They came to the house, confiscated it and issues her a formal caution.
The reason I am giving the background is I want to know if this would help in me trying for full custody of my son and moving closer to my family and his brother and sister or whether the system will just support the mother.
Any advice would be gratefully received.
Me and my ex partner split up 19th June 2014. 17 days after my son was born. Before and during and after I have an physical and verbal abuse off him. Since the day we split from him and family he have said he's completely 'done' with my son. I gave him chance after chance to see him and even agreed on two days for him to come and see him which resulted him to constantly let him down or turn up drunk or hungover or use pathetic excuses such as 'I'm tired' 3 days before his first birthday he arrived to see him he physically hit me with my son in his hands and prevented me from leaving my own home. He didn't arrive to see my son on his birthday same with his family. He gave me abuse down the phone calling me all the names under the son. Now it's almost a year now and he still haven't tried to see him. I've had abuse on every social media account and phone calls ect which resulted to me changing my number. I've got a solicitor who have been with me through it all. Throughout our break up I have had many threats even down to I'm going to throw bricks though your window, beat you up and physically take my son away from me and taking me to court over him but court is only mentioned when his brother have put my name all over Facebook saying I've denied access when my solicitor have advices me I'm doing the right thing with stopping him now I've gave him enough chances. I'm worried that he may take me to court, he's got another baby on the way which is due tomorrow Tuesday 3rd May 2016. Which i think have fired up his family and giving me abuse again, they feel guilty about not making an effort to seeing my son. Any advice on the situation he could gain from going to court? Regards x
And my daughter age6 is still living in the UK. Her mother is refusing my daughter to come over for visits. (im covering all expenses) do I have any rights and could I get a court order or can she stop this from happening, my daughter is always asking me when can I come for a visit.
Today I finally went to court for a contact order thinking that at last I would be treated fairly, WRONG! I see my son Friday teatime through to Sunday teatime on a fortnightly basis and on a Wednesday evening for tea. What prompted court action was her unilateral decision to stop Wednesday evenings and to cancel any phone calls.
So in court I asked for:
1. Handover at neutral location (aggression from her boyfriend) - refused
2. Two telephone calls per week - refused (I am allowed one 15 minute call per fortnight)
3. To have my son alternate Christmas Eves - refused
4. To change the weeks about so that I can have some down time and have chance to develop a new relationship - refused
I have completely and utterly lost faith with the English legal system that conspires to work against men like me who are put in this position through no fault of their own. It's disgraceful.
My advice, don't "wait until things settle down" to sort contact out legally. Things may never settle down and in waiting a couple of years like I did, you risk the claim that your child is in a routine and that any change is detrimental to them (though of course this is complete poppycock). Delaying in sorting out finances and contact arrangements have cost me dearly, don't let it happen to you.
Nothing was ever written down regarding access as we have only been seperated 6months but surely as the visits had been thurs to monday since xmas that is actually more of an agreement that has been accepted as it has been on going for over 3 months?
Thank you
I need advice in regard to my three years old daughter.
My ex couple of months after she was pregnant moved abroad but now she is back in UK. I have been trying to meet up with her but she is not willing to let me see my daughter. She has send me pics but for some bizarre reason hasn't introduced me to my daughter! Now she has got a lawyer and a child psychiatrist which I am waiting to meet in couple of weeks with the three of them.
What rights do I have and what should I expect from this meeting. My ex is only communicating via email. I have no address nor a contract number.
My thanks
My 10 year old brother currently lives with his Mother. My dad is on the birth certificate and sees his son every other day and has done since he was born. My brothers mother has recently started drinking every night and this is taking its toll on my poor brother, he doesn't sleep as he is worried about his younger brother and sister (not my dads children) who are babies and feels he is responsible for making sure they are ok while his drunken mother is out cold on the sofa after a night of binge drinking!
Last night when it came to dropping my brother off at home with his mother he was crying saying he didn't want to go in as he knew she would be drinking again....he went in and ran straight back out to the car and begged my dad to take him home with him. His mother made out that he was over reacting and just being plain naughty. After a long drawn out argument she agreed he could stay with my dad. Anyway, he popped back home this morning for his uniform and his mother was straight away on his case saying he was out of order and needs to stop being naughty basically. My dad dropped him at school and the poor thing was so upset. He says he doesn't want to be there anymore and wants to live with my dad. She uses emotional blackmail against him to make him feel bad for just being honest! My Dad is now worries that she is going to try and stop contact for a while as a 'punishment' to her son for causing her a problem. What can we do?? who do we contact? the police or social services? what right does my dad have to just take him into his full time care? and if she phones the police if he does (as she threatened) will they take my brother back into his mums care?? Really need some advice please guys as I'm extreamly concerned about my brothers emotional state with all of this. Will the police listen to what he wants or is he too young to make that choice??
I have a daughter with my ex partner. Currently been split up for 2 years now. I'm currently going through the courts. The sheriff continues to side with the mother, which continue to affect my time with my daughter.
2 questions.
1- what can I do if my daughters mother refuses to communicate with me 2 years later?
2 if I don't agree with the judge, what is the process of escalating it?
Thanks
My son has also expressed that he would like to come and live with me and my wife. I have contemplated seeking custody of my son before but have held off as in the past I have been advised that there would be little to no chance of any court agreeing to this. Would anybody have gone through a similar situation as to mine please get in touch?
He is 11 years old (if that helps any)
Regards
Bob
She lives with her parents who is about 166 miles away from myself.
Got a feeling visiting her and having my daughter to stay over every so often will become difficult especially after divorce has been done and if I find a new partner she'll create more obstacles. What I can I do regarding having something arranged legally regarding setting visitation and having my daughter stay over with me on school holidays etc and is there a legal document that can be arranged where they have to sign as well? So that something official can be laid down, as arranging between myself and my ex I think will begin to turn sour and obstacles will arise. Also how quickly can a legal document be drafted and what are the general costs involved. Thanks
I am an unmarried father of 2. My children mainly live with their mum.
If she moves a new partner in would I be entitled to pay less child maintenance ?
Cheers.
My brother has recently split up with his girlfriend and their son is nearly 1. My brother has been paying his ex a lot of money as she is blackmailing him staring that if he doesn't pay then he does not get to see his son. I was wondering if there are any visitation rights for fathers. I am also concerned as the relationship was abusive and she hospitalised my brother twice but never pressed charges. She also does drugs and we are concerned for the wellbeing of his son and querying how often the father gets to see a child?
Thank you for your time
I rang social services as I was concerned about the mental abuse is happening to them and they advised me there was a call made to them by my x partner and no further action will be taken,
I rang the children last Saturday and I did shout at them over the phone but they was at their moms, then all of the sudden I have no contact with the children by phone, Facebook etc. then on Tuesday my son called me at 2pm when he should be at school, asking me what is going on, like he was trying to integrate me like someone was listen to the phone call.
Then I had a call from my son and daughter on Wednesday making plans for the weekend.
Than today had the text saying I cannot see them, I can't even contact them by phone.
I have never hurt or hit my children in way shape or form hey have never said anything like this before.
If anything I have concerns about the children living with my x and her husband as 3 years ago I was set upon by them 2 and badly beaten up and her husband went into the kitchen and got a 8inch kitchen knife and threatened to stab and kill me.
She said she has submitted papers to the court yesterday..
I think she is wanted me to go round and confront her why I can’t see the children but past experience tells me no
But all I want is to see my children.
Please advise
Mike greenwood
There has now been a letter with a court date brought about by the EX over getting more money for the school fees. Where does the father stand??
Myself and my ex split around 1 year ago, we have 1 son which is 4. I live down in kent and she moved back down to brighton. I have always paid the correct amount of CSA. My query is regarding the travel i have to do, initially she was meeting me half way, but now i have to go all the way down to birghton to pick him up and half way when i drop him off. Is this fair? My son was born down in kent near where i live. The travel expensive is costing me a fortune, almost as much as the CSA payment. So my question what are the laws on your ex moving away with your child and who should travel?
I will appreciate your advice.
I see kids every weekend and school holidays etc im paying money into her account for kids but fail to see where it goes
Can I buy the groceries clothes nappies etc my self to give her is this seen as paying child maintenance?
I'm on birth certificates
I feel she's making it very difficult to communicate lately saying or doing something which she knows will anger me we are in mediation currently and until recently thought we turned a corner with being civil but that has all gone to pot
I see my children twice a week , if my ex allows me to. As sometimes this changes as she will tell me on the day of pick up , I am not having them she has made prior arrangements.
I am now facing the argument of what I do with my time with them . I make plans on teh time frames I have them , this may be to see my family or days out. Typically I get 1 nights notice if she has decided they are to do other activities away from my plans. I do not think I am unreasonable when I ask for notice on these plans, I then discuss with the children (11/9 &6) what they may like to do. she is dictating that I jave no say in their out of school activities. However surely as I am their dad & have PR as we married and I am on Birth certificate , I should have some rights in what we plan as a family during the time we have together. Is she right in the fact that I do have no say and that I should limit my plans , or can i have this notice form her that i require ?
I have a 14month old boy who spends 1 night a week at his dads. When he found out i was pregnant he didnt want the baby but wanted to support me and i allowed him to go on the birth certificate but my son has my surname. So how does it worth with parental rights? and also his dad wants to take him away this year does he have rights to do that. His dad also lets his son down sometimes and will just have him for the day rather than over night. Is there anything i can put in place for someone else to have parental/guardianship of anything was to happen to me before my son is 18 and legally an adult. I feel if his dad never wanted him in the first place then swaps and changes over having his son over night is it in my sons best interest to go to someone he sees a hell of alot more?
Any ideas of what we are both entitled to do!
Im scared an just want my kids stay safe an with him they aint :-(
Now she wants divorce and £20,000 off him to be able to live there!
She claims benefits for them and has a good life.
Does he have any legal obligation to do that.
My husband has two children from a previous relationship. When they first split up we were allowed to see the children. We then had to go through the courts as she was being awkward. After spending thousands fighting we finally got a contact order to which she broke! We haven't seen the children for 12 years! They are now 13 and 15. She blocked his mobile number aswell.
We've had a new calculation from CMS they want just under £400 pm. We have 2 children of our own and in a lot of debt so means this on to we won't be able to live.
It's getting to the stage of even considering giving up work because we really do not know what to do.
Someone please help. CMS are so unhelpful. Literally close to breaking point.
Also when my ex is working nights and his now new partner looks after our son when he's in work can I have a say in who looks after our some of he's in work??
I have a 5 year of girl her dad is not on the birth certificate and he pays £5 every 2 weeks csa
Does he still have rights ?
Regards
Heart
broken granny..
Done by text or phone call which has always been the case . Please advise
I believe my ex is making it hard and my daughter probably feels bad about meeting my partner. How can I get over this? It would be good for them but I just need to make them see this. Any ideas would be appreciated.
I live with my partner for over 3 years, we have 18 moths old child, unfortunately the things between us are not going well and I feel like this relationship will be over soon or late. We both are not from the UK and our daughter was born here. Also we don't have marriage. I feel insecure in this case because he is the main income bringer, I DON'T CLAIM ANY BENEFITS so I have no income, I can't get back to work because I look after our daughter. What rights doea my partner have as a father(he is on the birth certificate), can he claim custody for our daughter because he has the money to look after her? My parents live in the UK and they will support me whatever happens. I'm desperate...many thanks in common
I have photos of them together in my house and in his house. What can I do, as this is completely false statement to the court. I don't know what he hopes to achieve from this. Also he when for MIAM alone, and no one has contacted me for mediation.
Best Regards
Lee
My and my girlfriend of two years split up while she is pregnant about 6 months ago I've tried to communicate with her about the baby and she's ignored me and blanked my messages. She didn't tell me the sex of the baby untill 7 weeks after and even then I was told by her brother. I go to the army in January, a week before the baby is born and have no way of getting my name on the birth certificate.
I'm a bit lost with what to do, it's caused me to have stress related illnesses because all I want to do is play apart in my childs life and she's blocking my every opportunity. I've tried communicating with people and they've not helped, I know I can't do anything till the baby is born but I like being prepared and organised with what to do. I believe I will have to go through courts.. I need advice.
I am currently having issues with acces to my 6yr old daughter whom up until the last 3 months have had regular acces with most weekends.
However my ex has now stopped this and I am having to go through her solicitor for minimal hours dictated by her. Xmas she is giving me 2 hours! I have up until now also not been allowed to take her on holiday I also don't wish to allow her to leave on holidays without my consent with her new partner whom has served a custodial sentence. I would like more access more hours. Her surname at school is noted only as the surname of my mothers daughters. When it is double barraged with both of ours legally in birth certificate which I am also registered. I would like fair passage at Xmas and birthdays and holidays what are my entitlements please.
Regards
My ex has always had a problem with this and causes no end of arguments as she doesn't understand that what I do is work. I've suggested that wee change the access agreement so I will have my daughter Friday and Saturday nights every other week as well as sunday daytimes ever week as thats when my ex works. And i wouldn'tr work the weekends I have overnight visits. I don't want to do this but the atmosphere is toxic so its my last hope
We're due to go to mediation and I'm not confident she'll admit to any compromise not even the one I suggested above.
Suppose my question is that if we went to court how likely would I be to get the agreement above or even better no change?
Suppose my question is that if we go to court could they impose an order
Apparantley legal aid no longer exists, what other options do I have?
my ex isn't allowing me to take my children away from her local area when visitation occurs and is also very restrictive with who can see them, also she has moved 6 times in 5 years and I'm at the end of my tether any advice would be great thanks
I have recently seperated from my wife, although we are seperating informally. Can i visit to see my 2 children as my wife has allowed me to visit her place, but she is not allowing me to take the childrens out.
It came about just before November that by sons fiancé had been having an affair then last Thursday he saw a picture on phone of a Dna report with the caption "see he is mine" my son is on the birth certificate as the father, Friday morning she left for dr appointment and never returned he is devastated and still wants her and the child no matter what, she has only contacted him a couple of times saying their ok and in a hotel which I expect the other person is paying for I need to know if she can legally do this and if they can go and change the birth certificate. We have not had our own Dna test done and know nothing of the other or what we should legally be doing regarding this terrible situation.
As followed my son through school going to parents evenings until one year phoned primary school only to be told he had left the school, bearing in mind i have parental responsibility i should of been consulted.
I managed to find out new school and set up arrangement as before. Fast forward to him leaving and going to secondary school, phoned his primary school to find out which school he moved to only to be told as ther is a court order against me they cant tell me. Thats news to me that there was court order so ex had lied to school and they took it on hear say that there was.
I then contacted local education told them whats going on sent them proof of id and parental responsibiliy. They came back to me and said the head master had asked my son if he would like me to be involved to which ex and son said no.
Im at a loss now as local education are going against parental responsibility, any advice would be great thank you
Is there any law or right I have over my daughters hair?
I have my 2 children (both under 5) half the time, my ex and I are still married but due divorce very soon.
She seems to insist on cutting my daughters hair as it gets to a good length! When I pull her up about it and show I'm not so happy, she just laughs and tells me to 'grow up'.
I'm a good farther as we both marriaged and had IVF treatment for a beautiful chance of having a child and we was successful.
I'm currently with a solicitor defending myself as her terms do not allow me more access. She's a higher earner than me and she has the family home in which we have joint mortgage.
I feel she is using my son to hurt me
Into signing over my life and son to a very controlling person that almost distroyed me. I feel that loving caring fathers feel the pain as well as seeing the pain this causes in my sons eyes is very hard to have happen to there life. It's been almost 4 months now and I think my son needs me as much as I need him. Please help
Can i do anything?
She is now nearly 2years old.this year he took me too court and won parental responsibilities.
He has not provided for his child.he don't ask about his child.he sees her on a Saturday for 3hours but that's it.
Also he's still on drugs after the court told him to come clean before he can have unsupervised access to her for 30mins at a time as we are going by the speed of a child under 2years old as she doesn't really know who he is proper.
How can I take his rights from him he aint on the birth certificate either
my wife still feels she can control me I do see my children not as much as I would like as she always has plans but those plans never materialise as the children never seem to do anything with her , every time I text to ask to see the children I send a list of half terms dates and weekends it takes her a long time to reply then I get a barrage of abusive text messages when we do finally have plans to see the children the night before we end up having a row over texts then when the kids are with me myself and my children are bombarded with calls and texts
can my wife do this she is putting our children in the middle of all of this they are 16 & 12
I do have a new partner that this weekend my wife started to abuse over Facebook and text this is putting my children in a awkward position as they feel they need to hide it to protect us
Also she has changed the childrens names on twitter etc without his permission. Can she do this?
When Neil was born Gill gave him to a childless married couple so that they could care for him.
Neil is now 18 months old and when Mark saw him recently it was clear to him that he had a strong bond with this couple.
Mark would like custody but he is concerned about the potential emotional impact of taking Neil away from the safe, loving environment that he has grown up in since birth.
The couple have said that if they have custody they will allow both Gill and Mark to have contact (separately because of the animosity between them).
What is best for Neil?
(I am a member of one of the extended families.)
Recently the father decides to get in contact and wants access.
Bearing in mind he lives in Scotland and us in West Midlands.
I agree with his rights to see his son but his son doesn't want to see him after how he left and the way I was treated.
With the distance I don't understand how he expects to see his son.
I told him visits would have to be supervised as it has been so long and he would have to come up with a plan to get down to England to see him.
Do you have any advice??
Thanks
Firstly, thank you for all of the information provided on your website here. I have a 2 year old son, with my ex. I have a new partner who I have been with for over a year now and my ex is still refusing to 'allow' my partner to meet my son. I pay full maintenance towards my son, which both my ex and I have agreed upon and I only get to see him once a week, for a few hours at my parents house. I'm not allowed to pick my son up from nursery, have him in my car (Mazda 6 Estate), have him on my own for the day (I'm 'allowed' to have him for a few hours on my own). I call him a few times a week, but with my working hours and his sleeping pattern, by the time I get home, he's getting into bed, and I know how excited he is when I call him, so I don't want to over excite him when he's going to sleep... But I digress...
I guess I'm asking for information/advice on the rights I have (as named father on birth certificate) for A) My son to meet my partner. B) What rights I have with regard to access & him staying over with us over the weekend (We have dogs, but he is used to dogs, as my ex and I got a dog before son was born) and C) If I do need to go to court to get all of this in writing, or if it's something I can say to my ex without having to go to court.
I don't believe that my requests to her are unreasonable, and my partner has even wished to meet my ex before meeting my son, to which there is no movement.
If any other fathers have been in this situation before, any help or guidance is much appreciated as well.
Thanks you so much for taking the time to read this very long inquiry.
All the best.
I have recently split from the mother of my 2 little boys, whatever I think of her she is a great Mother and I am comfortable that the boys live with her.
My eldest is 4 and as such my understanding is that I have parental responsibility for them as their natural father named on their birth certificates. I contribute an agreed amount each month for them and pay by bank transfer so there is evidence, I also call and speak to them every morning and night! My ex has been very good and allows me to see them when I want, so far!
If anything were to happen to her however my understanding, as we were not married, is that the boys would not automatically become my responsibility, is this true? If it is could I ask for some guidance on what I could do to make sure that I would please? It is vital to me that, while my ex has been resonable with the boys, I would look after them if anything terrible would happen.
Thank you in advance.
My ex and I broke up recently, but I see my two girls regularly. My ex agreed they could stay with me on a weekend & a couple of nights a week. They stay 5 nights with me and I pay full maintenance.
I took them to my parents last weekend in Wales and informed her that I would do so and she "granted me permission" to take them to Wales for the weekend. I have mentioned to my ex today that I plan to take them again for a weekend in November. She says she will think about it.
Do I need her permission to tie them to my parents for the weekend? She says she will report me to the police for kidnapping if I take them without her permission.
I don't agree with this, but also don't know if she's right legally. I have parental responsibility for both children and she agrees they stay with me 5 nights a week. I inform her of my plans out of courtesy, not to gain permission.
Will I be in trouble with the police if I take them to my parents "without her permission"?
Thanks
Everything was going fine and I had the girls 3 nights a week, but recently my ex-wife has said that girls aren't happy living with nanny and has suggested I become a weekend dad until I find somewhere. But when I ask the girls they said they are happy, but do want me to get my own place.
Do you recommend I apply for official parental responsibility to ensure I get equal share of my girls? I did agree not to divorce her on grounds of adultery and that we would just divorce next June.
I pay child maintenance and work full time, she works part-time (I have no idea how she affords to).
I've been more than willing to be amicable since the split, but she does seem to inching the girls away from me and I'm worried where this will end up.
Any advice on who to talk to would be great. I'm so worried.
Do I have to pick kids up from school and make her life easy ?
Myself & the father of our children separated back in 2007 & are now divorced. Since meeting his new partner he has completely walked away from his children with absolutely no contact at all not even cards for the last 5yrs. Having done this to them everytime he met someone new, our eldest decided he didn't want the same surname as his father as, in his eyes, he feels he doesn't deserve it & wanted the same surname as his grandad (my father). Both children decided this within a year of hearing nothing at all from him. If anyone calls him by his father's surname he becomes upset (although as he has got older he know understands why some may get muddled) & keeps asking me to hurry up & change it. The thing is I have absolutely no idea where he is in the country never mind how to get hold of him to ask for his consent. Where do i stand on changing their names officially? They're already 'known as' but want it doing properly, it's has been almost 5yrs since they first asked & continue to do so. He has absolutely nothing to do with them at all (by his own choice) & doesn't even send cards or letters or anything and we are still in, what was, the marital home. Please help. Thank you
I am now separated from my wife as she used me for awhile and she told me she has boyfriend I now have the children and am trying to claim all I can as I have had to give up my employment to focus on my two boys of 5yrs and 7yrs one of my boys has A.S.D.
apparently I was a fool and trusted her to out with her mates night clubbing,she even got me to go away on a free weekend hotel break without her just me and the boys and I was able to take them to blackpool for the day!
When we came back she went off again without me or the children so I changed the locks on door so she could not get back in only to collect her personal things.
This is not the first time,seems she just wants too have a good time!
Please bear in mind I normally look after them anyway ie take them to school pick them up because she starts 5.30 am till 2.pm and now I am the main carer of my boys in my house .
She does not seem to be interested in the children at all and never turned up the proper time to collect children in the morning like she said ,she phones around 11.40 am to tell me she got up late, that's because she was obviously drunk from her night out and not thinking she has to collect the two boys.
Where do I stand in this situation?Any help of what I can do what am entitled to because I have the boys with me and its very hard for me.
We have agreed to 50/50 child care responsibilities, however during our discussions her strong indication is that once we are sorted she intends to move in with the man she'd being having the long term affair with, but I am adamant I do not want him having any contact with my children. I have no proof he is a danger I just know he is not a positive influence and do not want my children exposed to such a person.
Legally what are my options? I do not want to stop my wife seeing my children, she's a good mum and the kids obviously love her very much but I am 100% convinced I do not want them sleeping under the same roof as him.
Thanks
on release from prison things rapidly started changing for the worse. Firstly my eldest son who 12 at the time. Had informed his mum that he never wanted to see me again. This was following an afternoon out with me and his younger brother. Both of whome left me that day with a hug and saying they loved me and would see me soon. This was the start of things to come. The Mother. Stated that I didn't have the right to see the children for more than an hour every two weeks And that is never see them again if I took her to court. The regular phone contact dried up and now I'm lucky if I get to speak to them once every couple of months. She never answers the phone and never sticks to an agreement to see them. The result of this is the children have become very distant towards me and never want to see me. I'm not looking for simpathy. I just want to have children back in my life . We we once so so close. I know their mother and step father are doing their best to distance me. My mother has not seen them for years. This is despite them only living a couple of streets away.
My soon to be ex wife has recently filed for divorce but also wants me to sign over parental rights to our 5 year old? Can she do this? I haven't seen him for over a year as she has stopped all visitation! I do have mental health issues and have had a tough time recently! She also has taken a no contact order out against her self and my son! So it's been hard to fight for visitation!
I was not asked for permission .How do I complain formally as Im sure it is not right.
Many thanks.
My brother has a criminal record because of domestic violence towards his Girlfriend. They have a 7 year old daughter together and since he came out from his prison terms he wanted to see his daughter. Is this possible for him?
Thanks
I have been split from my ex for 3 years with access to my now 4 year old son always limited however the past 2 months iv not had any access.. The last time I was able to speak to my ex partner she told me she didn't want me seeing him, wanted no money and for me to stay away. I pay £260pcm in csa and have tred to contact my boys mum with know success. I'm struggling with what to do next, not seeing my lad is should destroying, I work 6 days a week so only really have Monday to have contact. If I turn up at her house she will simply ignore the door, I can't turn up at her place of work because she (or her family/friends) will then turn up at my place of work and that would not go down well with my boss. I basically need some advice from somebody who has been through this, do I go to court? Will there be any help with costs? Is she aloud to blatantly refuse me access? I am on the birth certificate, I'm in no way any risk to my child. Thanks for reading and thanks in advance.
I am contacting you if you can give me any advice on the situation my son is experiencing . My son who is 11 years old (12 next month), he wants to stay with me every weekend but his mother will not let him. I have him every other weekend and it has been this arrangement since I split from his mother. But now he is getting older I feel that he can start making some decisions for him self.
Can you please advise on this matter for me as I do not know what rights I have?
He lives a considerable distance away, and is now considering resigning from his new job, in order to return to the area, so that he can have more time with his child.
He has been paying her rent, funds to support his child, even the family pet,has given her the majority of the house equity, when it was sold, but neither he, nor we, can afford legal advice to see what the options are.
This does not seem in any way equitable, is there anywhere we can go to get help?
My ex wife has been away for 2 weeks with my daughter. And now that she's back I have requested from her that I have my daughter for the weekend. We haven't gone through the legal process yet regarding visitation rights. And she has denied me access to her. What can I do. Do I call the police and explain the problem?
As much as it hurts I know she has the right to exclude me from the scans and I just have to accept that, but surely she can't stop me from seeing my own baby if I pose no danger to it and I've made a willing effort to try to get on with her.
I've told her I'd rather sort this out amicably but she is insisting on letting it go to court, so my question is what should I be doing now to make sure I have a chance in court (applying for Parental Responsibility, contact order, etc).
Any help would be greatly appreciated
I left my ex year and half ago and have a 4 year old daughter with.
I have done my absolute best with and have a very strong bond, from early stage into the relationship she was controlling and aggressive and always uses the child against me making me chose over everything. Its come to a point where i have had to give up my job because if i didn't id never see my daughter again. She stops me seeing her over big days like Christmas and fathers day. I've had enough of having to chose all the time and its really getting me down and affecting my life in many ways,
What steps can i take to solve this situation?
My son was born when I was still married to my ex-wife but she didn't tell me she gave a birth (we were already separated). During the birth registration, another man's name was put in the birth certificate as she believed that man was the father. And now the DNA confirms that I am a biological father. My questions: (1) Do I have parental rights and responsibilities and if yes, how can I prove it provided I am not on a birth certificate; (2) Was it legally alright to put another man's name on a birth certificate provided she was still married to me. Many thanks for your comments.
i would love to get my twins back n have them live with me as she dont seem to want or care for them no more
Everyone I have spoke to has said the kids are too young as I believe they are along with the fact they are clearly being influenced but I have no idea what I can do. Mediation has always failed and she has no intention of talking at the moment so I am stuck. I feel like the only way I can ensure I can see my kids is to go to court but I feel like that is wrong. any help or advice would be great because I suffer from depression/anxiety and this issue happening whilst I am still settling into a new home is starting to get me worried.
My 13 year old son and I have recently moved in with my partner. He has been separated from his wife for 6 years, he has had 3 partners since separating from her, me being the 3rd.His last partner passed away after fighting a brain tumour. My partners wife has always been very manipulative and controlling and uses their 3 sons to try and cause problems within each relationship. My Partner left the family home after she had an affair, she is now using me and my son to try and cause friction between my partner and I,which is not working as we are very happy, however I am annoyed that she has begun using my own son as a pawn and would like advise on how I can deal with this quickly and effectively and if I can take legal action to stop her discussing my son?
We are still friends.
But she is planning on emagitating to Australia. I have no idea what my tights are. I obviously don't want my daughter to leave but feel selfish to fight to keep her here, as austrilla is an amazing country and Hull really isn't.
But I just need to know what my rights are and what can be done, as it gets ever closer incant bare the thought of my little girl being so far away.
Thanks in advance for any comments...
Any help would be greatly appreciated
I have a court order in place to see my son , and in the court order it states I can take him away in the school holidays for 2 weeks , my ex partner is refusing to give me his passport and claims she will not give it to me , can she do this ? Or is she in breach of the order as I can't take him away without the passport ?
Any help or advice would be well appreciated
second.
She moved out of our family home in London and moved the children to
Manchester.
Since then I have travelled to Manchester every weekend and stayed in a
hotel in an attempt to see my son.
I provide her with a generous financial contribution every month
(considerably more than the csa would calculate) and provide extras as
well.
As it is, she is making things quite hard for me to see my son. I don't
have a base in Manchester, which I am working on, nor a car to take him
places with. She refuses to let me into her house. To be honest I'd rather
not go in her house anyway. And doesn't let me use the car which has a
child seat in it. That's fine. So currently I'm stuck in taxis and taking
him to soft play areas which is proving quite pricey.
My question is my rights in terms of names and visitation. She has
threatened to change the surname of my son as I apparently 'don't deserve'
to have my surname with my children. She has also threatened that I will
not have my surname given to my second child due in a couple of weeks. We
have both read up on the matter and what she is suggesting now is that she
double barrels the names. Her reasoning for this is so that my name is
still there and she still reveives financial support but it's not in the
best interest of the children at all. She's solely doing this to spite me.
Do I have any rights here please? I know that she cannot officially change
my sons name without my consent but she can unofficially double barrel his
name just not legally. Is that correct? And what would be my potion in all
of this, if any please?
What can I do. Is it reasonable to take her to court for full custody ??
My partner has a 4 year old son who he has over night on a monday, wednesday, friday and all day Saturday. He pays child maintenence plus and on top he also buys his son his own clothes ect.
Mother of the child keeps saying she will stop access if he does not do what she tells him to do. She has not told him what school his little one has got in to he found out from the child minders which has upset him. He is becoming increasingly worried that he is going to be pushed out which she has done before when child was a baby.
In theory he has joint custody as his son resides in both homes as its 50/50 or more time with his dad. But he needs to get something in writing so his rights are protected. What should he do baring in mind mum is difficult. Would an application for joint custody with the courts be where to go? AS he thinks if he goes to court he will get less time with his son and that he will have to have him every other weekend when from the date of their split and divorce he has had him 50/50. any advice would be much appreciated. (he is on the birth certificate, was there for the registration of the birth and married the mother after the birth).
Also if he has him 50/50 but no paper agreement of this does he still have to pay maintenance?
My boyfriend has been separated for 6 years. The separation was mutual and neither of them could afford a divorce.
They have two teen children and he loves to spend time with them but she makes it hard because when she found out he was seeing someone, he is no longer allowed to have the kids around me and he can only visit them if its at her house. She also expects him to come do chores for her now. Like, mow the yard, bring her cigarettes and give her gas money etc... Everything that should not be his responsibility. I have had to help him with her light bill and cable but only did that because of the children.
I feel that the only things he\we should help her with IS with the kids only. When she didn't know about his new girlfriend (me) he was able to take the kids anywhere, now that she knows he has a girlfriend, he can only come see them at her house.
I hate that for him because he really lives his kids and feels like she's trying to control him and use the kids as tools to get to him.
What's right an what's wrong here? Please give me your input. I love him but she makes it very difficult for both of us. If he doesn't do what she tells him then she will tell him not to see his kids AND tell kids not to talk to him. This is so frustrating!!!!
The most important aspect of any court proceeding relating to the care and wellbeing of your children is what is best for them. This is something that can become a secondary issue if the circumstances between parents is not amicable. The court will take the view that it is important that the children have access to both parents and also have the means to contact either parent as and when they wish to. I hope this helps.
Me and my wife have separated after she committed adultery.
I left the family home for 3 hours.
she proceeded to try and commit suicide by cutting herself in front of the children.
I was called the police after she inform me by phone.
ambulance took her away and is now staying at her mums
me and the kids are in a private rented property in my name
i am looking after them full time
question: does she have any rights to see them? and what are they?
can she just come and take them from me?
I have been more than supportive to my ex, helping her out and being there as a friend but recently she has turned nasty.
i mentioned to her the other day i would like to go on holiday first week of the holidays. She was fine with that Mentioning that the nursery have calculated 6 days holiday before the new term, basically 2 weeks. I get a message today saying i have to pay the 135 nursery fees for that week. She gets it all paid by tax credits anyway so its not like she is losing out. i am on the birth certificate and have been a comitted parent from the word go. Has anyone else been in this position before and what are my rights.
I would love to chat to someone with similar experiences and how it turned out for them
kind regards
After she decided that she wanted to go through CMS after they already had a monetary agreement. She has stopped him from having his son with no legitimate reasoning.
Only after 2 and a half months was he given 2hrs in a contact centre. He is very frustrated and concerned about how the maintainence money she will get will not be used in the child's best interest.
The amount she will be due to get will be more then is possibly required for a child under the age of 2yrs old.
Is there any advice you can give. Im very concerned about his well being as a result of the stress with no possible resolution thanks.
please i dont know what i can do
thanks
mike
Can I ask for any advice, comments etc....I'm i doing the right thing etc. it may cause upset to our daughter short term but surely long term it will be better?? Thanks all, regards Sparky1973
My daughter was born in July 2003 and my name is on the birth certificate. My ex wife and i got married in 2008.
Because she was born before the changes in December 2003 do i have parental responsibility as i married her mother?
Thank you
Me and my partner split up in December 2014, Since then i have not had contact with my 2 children at all (one is 7 months old and 1 is 2 years old).
She is stating that im an unfit father to them, we're not married but i am registered on the Birth Certificate for both children, ive been told to goto mediation by a family solicitor? and i have booked in a meeting for this,
However since the split she has removed my 2 year old daughter from nursery, can she do this without me having a say in the matter? Also she is getting medical advise for my 2 year old also without consulting me or letting me know why she needs such attention by the medical staff,
I thought as a registered person on the certificates i have a say in certain matters and the fact i thought id have the right to know the welfare of my children? Would i be assuming correctly?
I was informed about twelve months after the relationship had finished that my ex partner had given birth. I confronted the family and my ex with regards to the paternity and was told that her current partner was the father. I took them for their word but have seen photographs of the child since (aged around two) and I am certain that I have been lied to.
Without giving too many details I was not allowed to see my ex partner at all and have only seen her once in the three or so years so was not aware of the pregnancy so I dont have many details only my gut instinct.
Is there any help out there for me? I have been robbed of the joys and previous moments of a child's life and she has missed out on her father.
I am currently not in an ideal financial situation as I have an eighteen month old but would appreciate any advice that could be given to me.
Many thanks.
My wife was admitted to hospital with mental health issues last May, these issues have had a massive impact on our entire marriage but we always lived with it and I supported her. Later despite being discharged twice during the summer she never got over it and struggled, this ended up with her being re admitted. She separated from me in November with no real grounds apart from her claim that she could not live with me any longer, she was still in hospital at the time but was discharged a week later. I gave up my position as a full time employee and went part time, this was to support her more and most importantly to be there for my two daughters who are aged four and six. I subsidised my loss of earning by working my days off with my small limited company. I am now getting letters from her solicitor, I have received two so far, I have sent one in return but I need to know the best way to deal with the following.
1. The children have been resident at our home their entire lives but now my wife has a flat she wants to take custody, I do not feel she is well enough and she cannot work and has also lost her driving license. I would prefer the children stay with me as I am back working full time, I am stable and can support all of their needs.
2. I am being asked to have my home,pension and other assets valued, is this a nor,Al thing and is my home under threat? We are both on the mortgage but I would be willing to buy her out if I can afford it.
3. Can I apply for any benefits, am I already due benefits from the period I was at home alone with the children being mum and dad ( May to Present Day ).
4. How do I stop her emptying our joint account of money and spending erratic amounts on her new flat which she moves into next week?
5. How do I make her realise she still has financial responsibilities to adhere to as she doesn't seem to be taking that serious and I'm worried she gets me into some sort of trouble as a result?
Any help appreciated.
She is now threarening to call social services to get their son taken away as she cant cope.
Where does my partner stand? Can he claim custody? How does he go about it?
A serious medical condition means I am unable to obtain a driving license and the cost of trains/buses isn't economically viable for me.
I have, and will continue, to make regular CSA payments and more importantly have a fantastic relationship with my son, something that I fear will be harder to maintain and potentially breakdown if large distances are put between us as I currently see him 3 weekends out of every 4.
I have been assaulted by her bf too and then again police didn't take any action instead they came on my door and gave me warning.
I used to see my kids on daily basis and they used to stay with me all thd time last month as usual I went to see them and she called the police and they arrested me again on harassment if seeing your kids is causing harassment then I dont have any answer to that
I havent seen them for a monyh and I cant afford solicitors as im paying fot their maintanance and im on a low income
Help plz
Our little girl was less than 1 yr old when her parents split and has no memory of living with her father. We have always encouraged her to have a relationship with her father, although he has been difficult and even violent towards my partner (I have no concerns about the child in this regard or us at this point). He had sporadic access (his choice) for the first few years but now, at our suggestion, sees her every other weekend and in school holidays and has done so for approx 18 months. He does not pay any form of maintenance or provide for his daughter in any way. He refuses to buy her shoes etc and does not even brush the childs hair, such is his level of care. All agreements, other than their divorce, have been made informally &, although he wants one, we have been advised that a court order re. access etc would not be issued unless we were preventing visitation, which we don't want to do.
The father officially has parental responsibility as he's named on the birth certificate. Our little girl does not like being "sent away" every other week and cries because she misses her family and her home (he also does not have his own home and takes her to various friends or relatives each time so it's not very stable). Yet it seems there is nothing we can do. Ideally I'd like to find a way to make her (and us) happier about these visits and rather than reduce their time together, but she is becoming increasingly unsettled by being sent to stay with him. It's very upsetting for her and my partner and I. The father says it's tough and she must come as he has rights and went so far as to say she will be forced to go, whether she wants to or not. At what point are the child's rights protected
above the legal parent, when their is no "danger" etc?
We are approaching christmas and he claims he has a legal right to have her, despite the fact that the idea of being away from home again upsets her terribly. Does anyone have advice on a legal, or sensible way of making him see what he is doing to this poor little girl?
any advice would be much appreciated. thanks
I do not see why when she gets Child Tax credits, maintenance and has a job she gets to dictate when I take my holidays?
Any person with a sufficient personal interest can apply for a declaration of parentage as it is generally accepted within the family justice system that, unless there are exceptional circumstances, it is always best that a child's true identity is made known.
Hope this helps.
My son will be 12 in June 2015, I wish to take him to my property in Thailand for a two week holiday.
I have previously taken my son on holiday twice to Spain with my ex-wife's permission, but my ex-wife is reluctent to allow my son to travel to Thailand due to the distance, although she has never travel outside of Europe.
Do I need to apply to the courts or will my son's decision persuade his mothers final decision?
I have now asked for a divorce as i wanting to get married again but my ex is saying she won't sign any papers until pay her child maintenance.
How do i stand legally on this matter.
Thanks
How old are the kids. If he has parental responsibility he has legal rights. You're obviously in a bad place , but think of the kids first. Is he a good father?If he is a good father then your kids need him more than you don't want him.
I cannot contact her at all
What are his rights? and what do we have, as grandparents?
Thank you for your answers.
Thanks
Have been separated from my wife of 5 yrs having left the family home around 4 months ago. This was due to the fact that she had insisted I leave as we were living in different areas of the family home for the sake of our twin boys (2 yrs old). Things have been up and down and since leaving she has insisted to all concerned I was unfaithful after I was spotted having dinner with a female friend by members of her family (a month after moving out). She initially insisted that I should pay for a divorce but now has said she would like to petition me for unreasonable behaviour as she will get legal aid. She has also requested that I allow her to add her family surname to my sons surname as she will be changing hers back. Essentially I'm concerned about her change of heart regarding the divorce petition and also the surname change - will agreeing to either jeopardize my ability to see my kids? I have been seeking a divorce and have been requesting the marriage certificate from her for the last 3 weeks but now she has had this sudden change of heart and I feel concerned of her intentions. She has previously posted material on social media and had to be cautioned by the police after coordinating threatening phone calls to a female work colleague. I personally just want to do whats best for my children and move on but I am scared about not knowing all the facts. Please help.
Thanks
Now the point I want to ask is, how easy would it be to get some kind of restraining order against the maternal grandmother to draw a line between her and my father so she can't keep doing this to get more fodder for when the divorce does eventually happen? I would say i'd like to keep my Dad away from the contact centre, but it's unfair that he doesn't get to see his granddaughter when the Court Order allows it.
He has two child same mother but one if not biologically his, they split and they both live with him he is named on birth certificate, but she's threatening to take him to court for the child does he have any right he's brought this child up from birth and he's now 4 and is heart broken at the thought of loosing him, he's also worried about his safety adage mental unstable but worried if things go through and he mentions it he will be put in care
Since starting work I made a payment of a month and a half leaving 3 and half months to catch up with! I have told my ex that I'd make another payment at the end of this week but I said it would be half of what I owe as I need what is left to keep me going for July!
She is now demanding that unless I make full payment on everything I owe I will not be seeing my daughter!
Could you tell me if she can do that, if that legal and what is the best course of action
Regards
Iain
I am the very proud father of a 3 month old daughter. Unfortunately, the mother and I are not a couple since before birth.. Things have been up and down due to her raging hormones but I have kept it very civil thus far.
I have been to every appointment since we found out she was pregnant and I have seen my daughter every day since she was born. (apart from 2 days when both mum and daughter visited the grandparents far from home)
I have found it very hard to see my daughter as I am having to do this mostly when it suits the mum. She is now making it very difficult, buy asking me to stay away as she needs time to herself..... thus I am now not seeing my daughter this weekend.
Since she was born, I have bought 95% of the things that my daughter needs; pram, buggy, clothes, all nappies, all wipes, all food, 2 x lots of nursery furniture etc etc... even offered 500pm to make up the shortfall in her maternity pay. I have also offered to look after our daughter when the mum returns to work, wants to go out with friends or just wants a break.. basically anytime she cant look after our daughter, I will....
Basically, after buying everything at a cost of thousands of pounds and offering to look after my daughter anytime she cannot or doesnt want too, I will.... she is now limiting my access and even mentioned the CSA!!!
I want to play fair and I think I have been more than fair but its got me nowhere.
The mum rents a 3 bed propery and lives there with her two sons (14 & 11)and our daughter, thus no spare room. I own a 3 bed house on my own as I do not have any other children so I have a nursery already looking beautiful for her.
My question is, what should I do now? What rights do I have to ask for joint custody?
Will CSA get involved if I can prove that I am doing more than they would ever ask for?
Help help help, I do not want to take her away from her mum, I just want what is in my mind "fair"....
.thank you all
David
He is due to e realised and plans on coming to the house to see the children they do not know or remember him . His family say I don't have custody of the kids . Is this true? They have lived with me since the day they was born . Don't know where I stand .
I am looking for a non-profit organization whose goal is to encourage the maintenance of the relationship between children and their both parents after parental separation even if there is a Parental conflict.
can you send me a link to a website or a facebook pages on this topic?
I would like to find a non profit organization leaded by men and women with an objective focused on the child's best interest.
best regards
thanks
Philippe
It is heart-breaking to see him not have anywhere else to turn to try and reinstate his relationship with his daughter. If anyone has had a similar experience and can offer any advice...it would be greatly appreciated?
Thank you
Some 200 miles away. We have nothing official in the way of a divorce yet but
I'm doing all the travelling collecting and dropping our son back off every 2 weeks. Is it all down to me or should it be split 50-50?
I believe that this has been in the headlines recently and that the family courts are being instructed to view it as such.
However, this won't be the case where there are allegations of domestic abuse vs the father. So while it seems father's might now have more rights to see their children the likely outcome is that more of us will face false allegations. Women will get legal aid if making these claims so men are even worse off now.
I have shared parental responsibility with my
sons dad. We have recently gone through family
court for 2 1/2 years where he tried to get access
to my/our 4 year old boy. After 2 1/2 years he was
refused any direct contact and can only send letters
monthly. It is also in the court order that he is not
allowed to apply to court for contact for at least 2
years. In the court order he was allowed to send cards
once a month......in the last 7 months since the order
There has been only one card...!! He still has got
parental responsibility!!! How on earth can that be possible????!!!!
We live on a secret address and he has not seen his son
for more than 3 years.. The law needs to change!!!
I don't really know how to explain my situation, but simply my ex partner will not tell me anything about my daughters up bringing, i.e, her health, school, her general up bringing, i have tried endlessly to be amicable with her and i have asked time and time again, to be fair, even though i have parental responsiblity as i am on the birth certificate and she was born in 2010, i have had a few people advise me to contact social services to inform them of the situation, but i really don't know what to do.
The last straw was when she used my card to pay off her bills despite me taking the card. She had logged the number.
After separating (I pay full maintenance) we agreed access to our 2 children (2 & 4 yrs) - I get every other weekend & one evening per week at my house.
Invariably I take them to my parents house as this allows me to spend real time with them whilst meals etc are prepared for us.
This is especially important on the weekday access as I work until 5 pm.
Recently my partner advised that she will refuse me access on the weekday evening if I take the children to my parent's house and has a friend that lives adjacent to me that will advise if I take them in the car.
Can she create rules such as this as it appears illogical and very unfair?
Im unable to travel to see them as I dont earn enough to do so, she's refusing to visit me also.
Not seeing my kids is tearing me upart... Any advice?
I am seriously considering going down the legal route to get this resolved as she is completely unwilling to come to any form of agreement and as such I cannot have what I deem to be a regular relationship with my daughter.
Do you have any advice on my standings in this situation and any possibilities of where to go to get this situation resolved?
Thanks, Ry.
in his life and does not like the wife's boyfriend being with his children. He is very good with his children and loves them very much and they do in return, they love being with him
My partner has our three children. She has taken them on holiday abroad during school term. Was she allowed to do this without my agreement? Not the going abroad bit, I know about that. I thought she had to agree with me on permanently leaving the country with them, medical decisions and their schooling? Would someone be so kind as to point me in the right direction?
Regards,
Scott
Recently my working pattern has changed and it has become necessary for me to change one of the evenings that he sees his son, by change I mean swap for another evening not stop it all together. Unfortunatly he is completly inflexable when it comes to changing the evening that he sees his son and has now threatened to take me to court for parental rights. I thought he already had them through a verbal agreement apparently thats not good enough.
What difference to his access will it make if he does this because I thought I was being very reasonable?
I'm struggling to convince the mother to let them stay more days or sleep over, despite that i have a spare bedroom for the girls all decorated together with the girls (princess theme) and the whole setup for this to happen.
I'm also not allowed the same rights as the mum to take the kids abroad in holidays or even for 1 night camping in the garden. Some of my saturdays are also taken away sometimes when she has a weekend away with them and simply not replaced or changed for another day.
The law basically is in my view very bias for the mothers and if there is no amicable agreement the only option left is to go through a very long court process, which can be very expensive and to top it up if you earn just above a certain cap (i think is about £1000 a month) you are also not entitle to any help from "legal aid" .... i would be probably better off in being unemployed as a matter of fact (something that i never want to do).
I really don't know what to do and where to go for help, can anyone clarify or enlighten me please????
Appreciate any comments.
Thank you!
Currently im out of work (hoping to be back in work by the end of the month) I have always paid £250 per month for my daughter as its what we agreed, however i have paid nothing for 2months as i am on Jobseekers allowance, i have offered the money but CSA adviser said it would only be £5 per month which is neither here nor there and I would have struggled but paid a lot more for her. Im living back at home with my Mam (even she wasn't allowed to see my daughter for approx 1 month!!) as soon as im working again at the end of the month i will resume my large payment even though i realise my ex will be spending this and not much of it is actually needed by my daughter. I was told by an adviser from the CSA that i should only be paying for my little girl if i have contact with her, is this true?? I would love to put the money into an account for her whilst our ongoing dusputes are sorted.
I am named on the birth certficate and my daughter carries my surname, my ex txts me now saying I can see my little girl if i agree to change her surname!!! Surely this can be classed as bribery!!??
I could go on all day with this story but dont want to bore you all with my troubles, just any pointers in the right direction would be helpful, as its killing me now not having contact with my little angel.
Cheers
Steven
Unmarried Couples
In general terms, an unmarried mother is deemed to have “parental responsibility” for her children. However, there are exceptions. You also have parental responsibility if:
1) The child’s birth was registered after December 1st, 2003 and your name is on the certificate as the father.
2) If the child was born before that time with no father listed on the birth certificate, but the birth was later re-registered with you named as the father.
3) If you and the child’s mother sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement.
4) If you’re given a parental responsibility order by the court, or a Residence Order for the child to live with you.
I am separated from the mother of my two children. We were not married, but I was listed as the father of both children at the time the births were registered. My youngest child was born after 1st December 2003, so I assume I have Parental Responsibility by virtue of point 1) above. However, my eldest child was born before 1st December 2003, so my assumption, based on the points above, is that I don't have Parental Responsibility for them. However, my solicitor has since indicated that I do have PR as I am registered as the father on the birth certificate, but I can't see how my situation is covered by any of the scenarios above. In fact, what percentage of cases would option 2) realistically cover as opposed to those fathers who were actually named on the birth certificate before 1st December 2003 (like me)? Assuming the law was changed on or around December 2003, why does it not appear to grant PR retrospectively to those births registered before that date, only those registered going forward from that date? Is that just the luck of the draw or have I read it totally wrong and my solicitor's got it right?? I'm hoping the latter for a couple of reasons!£!
Can anyone clarify this matter for me? Many thanks in advance
Can the mother do this, even though she is going against the court order? Can he go back to court and ask for the contact order to be enforced so she will have to answer for all the times she has forbidden the child to visit us?
also, although the kid says to the father he wants to see him the mother says he doesn't. We do believe the child is in a position where he wants to please both parts and says what he thinks each one wants to hear. can my partner request in court that a Cafcass guardian be appointed so the child has a saying in all this through an impartial person?
Obviously my partner is very distressed with all this situation and doesn't want to upset his son but doesn't think it's fair what his ex wife is doing. In this situation what is the best course of action? I would appreciate if anyone could help as we can not afford a solicitor in this matter but he needs to do something to resolve the situation. Thank you for your help.
She has also refused me a weeks holiday in the UK with my daughter which i also think is unfair and would like some advice on this also, i have read the internet but i dont seem to be any further on
Thanks
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