As a devoted father, you will want to maintain a close relationship with your children. Hopefully, your relationship will remain amicable with the mother of your children. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and you may find that you have to fight to see your children or alternatively, if the children live with you, then their mother may wish for contact.
Before beginning the court process for contact arrangements, you'll need to ensure you have the correct documentation by using our free Court Form Finder.
There are a number of types of arrangements which can work for different families. The courts can make several orders under the Children Act 1989 in order to facilitate those arrangements where necessary.
The Courts are primarily concerned with the welfare of the child or children above everything else. Under section 8 of the Children Act, the Court can make a contact order.
A contact order specifies how often the parent who does not live with the child should see the child or children and the terms of that contact.
The Process
If you wish to apply for a contact order, the actual process differs according to your locality. You will need to make an application to either the County Court, the High Court or the Family Proceedings Court. A copy of the application is then served on the Respondent, who is commonly the other parent.
CAFCASS Officer
You will then be required to attend a hearing. At that hearing or shortly before, both parents are usually invited to attend a relatively brief meeting with a Children and Families Court Advisory Service officer (also known as a CAFCASS Officer). A CAFCASS Officer is someone who is experienced in dealing with conflicts regarding children. At this meeting, the Officer listens to both parties and sees if there are any areas of agreement.
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During the first hearing, the Judge (usually a District Judge) will ask the CAFCASS Officer for advice (if they are present) and will identify the areas of agreement and also any areas in dispute such as visitation rights etc. This hearing is usually short in length and in most instances the parents may not even speak with the Judge.
Where no agreement is reached, the Judge may ask for a detailed report to be drafted by the CAFCASS Officer. This can take anything from three to four months and therefore, you may wish to request that the Court grants some contact in the interim period.
What Will the Report Detail?
The CAFCASS Officer will interview and possibly observe a number of things before reporting back to the Court. They will want to speak with both parents, possibly the school and may want to speak with family members. They may also wish to observe contact between parent and child in some cases. Depending on the age of the child, an Officer will speak to them alone to understand their wishes and feelings. The report is not “secret” and both parents get to see a copy before it goes in front of the Judge.
After this stage, there will be a further short hearing. A court will not always make an order. Most cases end at this point once both parents have reviewed the recommendations of the CAFCASS Officer and they decide to try the recommended contact arrangements.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
What Are the Considerations?
When reviewing applications, the Court, Judge and CAFCASS Officer will take a number of factors into consideration with regards to the child or children’s welfare. These are:
- What is deemed to be best for the child and the feelings and wishes of the child. This is considered according to the child's age and understanding;
- How capable the parents (and any other relevant people) are of meeting the needs of the child or children;
- Any harm that the child is at risk of suffering or has suffered;
- The likely affect of a change of circumstances on the child;
- The age, background, personality, sex and any other characteristics that the Court believes to be relevant; and
- The child's emotional, physical and educational needs.
Final Hearing
Only if a parent does not agree to the recommendations, will a final hearing take place. In these circumstances, the Court hears evidence from the parents and any witnesses as necessary, before finally making a Contact Order.
It is important to remember that although this process may seem rather arduous and lengthy, the end result will be worth it. The most important consideration for the Court is what is best for the child. If you are a good father and want the best for your child or children, then you will be able to have contact with them in the end. Good luck and if you are fortunate enough to get the contact you need, check out our feature on coping between contact periods.
Contact Orders are derived from Section 34 of the Children Act 1989, and concern children in local authority care ("looked after children") where a care order has been issued by the court.
I seperated from my daughters mom 2 years ago. She took me to court making allegations of domestic violence, and also said she feared I was going to take my daughter away. Cafcass involved etc....got cao in place stating I can see daughter unsupervised as I was no threat to daughter 2 days per week 3 hours each day, to increase in time, and stop overs once no longer breastfeeding (2 at time she's now 4). Since then I've had an increase of 3 hours each day totalling 12hours per week, and no stop overs (keeps moving goal posts). For the past few months she's me messaging me and we've been meeting up and being intimate. We get along well, and I have a fantastic relationship with my daughter despite time constraints. I want to take her to court for joint custody, but I'm so anxious that I won't get what I want and deserve. Has anyone took an ex to court and won joint custody? If so I'd some advice. Thanks
I'm sorry this is the wrong place to question this but, I feel like you guys may be able to help me out here.
I'm currently in a relationship where my partner and her ex are now going down the court route.
I personally have enough going on in my life and the thought of having to be involved with something that shouldn't really require me to be part of. But I fear as I spend time with the daughter there's a good chance they will want to talk me, I suspect?
(Not to sound selfish or anything but this is between the both of them. If I was in her shoes, I wouldn't want her to suffer any stress because of something I have going on. I wan the best for the child 100%).
Can anyone shed some light on the situation at all? What's likely to happen? Will they need to speak to me about it? CRB check I suspect?
I'm just trying to prepare myself for this type of thing to happen as I suffer with serious anxiety and puts lots of stress and pressure on me.
I hope you can help.
Thanks
The advice given is useless as it is not specific to different country's legal systems
I have a court order and it says that I am to have indirect phone calls with my son every Wednesday at 5pm. My sons mother isn’t consistent with encouraging the phone calls. They rarely happen if at all. If I do talk to him it’s only for a minimum of 5-10 minutes. There is always distractions in the background his end.
I have been lenient with the phone calls being slightly later but the time will exceed over 2 hours to the time in the court order.
I just want to know my rights on where I stand with this , as it is becoming frequent. I want to do an enforcement order but I’m not sure if it is strong enough to do so. Could someone please help me
I used to see my daughter after work for a few hours on a Monday and Wednesday, then overnight friday, I was 15 minutes late dropping litlen off one Wednesday, and ex says "that's it, no contact, take it to court"
Not really thinking of litlen...
Anyway, exes mother got involved, and it was arranged that I pick litlen up after work on a Friday from hers, and drop her off there on the Saturday too.
So it's gone from seeing litlen 4 times a week and one overnight stay...to just one overnight stay, and me doing all the picking up and dropping off.
The ex is now suggesting that I have litlen every other weekend, which in my eyes, isn't in the best interest of my child, as litlen used to seeing me minimum on a weekly basis... I'll add that the ex will not allow any midweek phonecalls between me and my child, unless I buy a 5 year old a mobile phone, which will only be turn on when the mother wants it on.
The system is a joke, as I don't think I can afford even the application fee for court, so she will still be in control of all situations, which I thinks unfair on my child.
It’s been 2 months and my girls have been staying with me over night, travelling to family, etc.
My wife now wants me back, and I said no. She has now stopped sending the kids. What can I do?
I'm a mum of a 4 year old daughter. Spilt from ex partner when my daughter was a baby.
Everything was amical.
Ex was taking daughter Fri-sun one week Thurs-fri the next week.
I always thought 2 overnights was fair but he would never agree. Anyways an argument broke out and now refusing to take her 2 nights.
He sent an email of dates he would take her it was one over night every 10 days. I told him to forget it.
My daughter was really upset as was expecting her father to take her on Friday.
Can I apply for a court order/Joint custody.
I want to fight for my daughter don't want a once every 2 weeks father, looking for any advice, anyone in similar situation. ? thanks
Can a child of 13 make the choice not to visit her dad, who up til last year had very frequent visitation with his child? I fear my daughter is being used as a pawn in a game, however I fully understand that at her age her hormones and emotions must be all over the place.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
My son was devastated but eventually they agreed access in the school holidays and my son also goes to see her in Devon in between holidays. His ex also has another younger daughter who does not see her father.
Just over a year ago she met a new man and is expecting his baby. My sons daughter came to stay in the holidays as usual and on the day she was due to go home she told my some some quite alarming things about her mothers boyfriend. Though she is not in immediate danger, the boyfriend has behaved in a wholly inappropriate manner and it makes my grandaughter uncomfortable. My son decided not to take his daughter back until he can ensure her safety. He has contacted police to inform them he has her and as there is no court order. He is seeking legal represenation but we are all so worried. can anyone advise please
but Found out she has mental health. Problems. And my daughter are now living with there grandparents. Do I have the right to take my daughter's from there grandparents
He was full time Dad for 11 years whilst his ex worked. He ended their relationship but continued to cohabit which resulted in a lot of domestic abuse and a few incidences of violence where police have been called, but she has gotten away with assault, threatening behaviour and criminal damage all infront of the children.
The children see a family support worker. Things have calmed down, but he has continuous trouble having the children on his days in the times specific in the parental agreement (4-7 on school days). He will either not have them at all, or be told if he does not have them until 8:30 at night he cannot have them at all. (It isn’t realistic to have a 2 year old and other children under 10 until those times on a school night as he is homeless too.
She tells one of the children that he’s going to live with his dad when he has somewhere to live in a nasty way. What can his father do legally to push this forward to assist him in being housed? He’d love to have all 3 live with him, the children have been alienated. What can he do to ensure he gets to see them? What is the likelihood of the children being able to live with him?
We are working on getting help from the council,
I have still got parental responsibility but I am scared that he is doing everything so he takes that away. when I asked how she is doing ï an always been denied
Originally I had sympathy and understanding for this arrangement and did not object to it even though the written permission I gave her expired in October 2016. However, it became increasingly difficult to have contact with my son. She would cancel arrangements on a short notice. She would also obstruct my son visiting my family. It went like this for more than a year.
What can I do in this case? I basically would like to be able to see my son for at least a few days every 3 months. I also would like to alternate the holidays (Christmas, Easter, New Year Eve, his Birthday) between me and my ex (e.g. one year my son spends Christmas with her family, one with mine). My ex says that she may agree to the visits every 3 months (although so far she often changed her mind on a short notice so I can't trust her word on this) but she would not agree to alternate the holidays. Can I do something about it?
My ex has British and foreign nationality - same like my son.
He is about send off a C100 form but what if CAFCASS speaks to his son and he says the same thing? Will the court side with his son?
All contact has stopped as his ex says that is what their son wants. He has wrote letters to his son but heard nothing back.
My friend left his home for her & their son, provided her with a car & made sure she was financially taken care of. Initially she was happy for my friend to have regular, frequent contact as she was out a lot with her new partner but several months later she became unreliable & gradually reduced the contact until she stopped access all together (without providing any reason). Her new partner was playing the role of the father & my friend was left heart broken.
After exhausting all other options he sought legal advice & arranged mediation, he attended several times but she didn't. He then decided to proceed to court but in order to hinder this she made several false allegations of harassment to the police, each where investigated & no further action was taken until recently. He received a phone call to say another claim had been made & charges would be brought against him.
As if this wasn't devastating enough, his court date is not until after his sons 2nd birthday so he is distraught that he won't see his son on his special day. Is there anything he can do in the circumstances surrounding this case?
Is there any way he could apply for a temporary order to see his son on or around his birthday, even for a short period? He would even be happy with supervised access, he just wants his son to know he is there for him & show him he loves him.
He is an all round wonderful person but most of all he is an amazing father & this is such an unfair, distressing time for him.
I hope you can advice us, so we can stop living in fear of his threats. Their relationship seems to have broken down. There is no trust left.
Thank you very much
My story... I divorced my ex husband, he was very controlling and I didn't want my daughter who was nearly three at the time to use our relationship as a blue print to her future ones. I took the decision and it has been the toughest road I've trod. My ex actually made my daughter and I homeless through his bitterness at the divorce, this happened as I unfortunately legally exposed myself as I still thought we could do the right thing by our daughter and reduce the cost of our divorce, which in turn would give us both a better home for our daughter. Our financial split became court ordered including child maintenance, this was driven by him. At mediation we discussed access to our daughter. He wanted our daughter to live with me in the week but he would have her on a Wednesday night, I agreed to this. I wanted to split the weekends. My motive for this was she would have more regular contact with us both, we could both get involved with her hobbies. He didn't want this and insisted that we alternate weekends. As I was homeless I felt backed into a corner to agree and I believe this arrangement has been documented in the mediators notes but it's not listed as part of the court order. The reason he wanted alternate weekends is that his new partner lives three hours away. So he picks her up at 5pm on a Friday and hits rush hour traffic to drive there (the original agreement was he get her from school as we both work and there is less of an emotional pull for our daughter he changed his mind so I now have to juggle work) Our daughter is nearly 7 now, she wants to spend her time with her dad locally at his house rather than drive for hours, she even asks when we go on day trips are we going on the "big roads" she means motorways. His new partner is also telling my daughter that I hate her and her dad! My ex will not see any issue with this and just denies it and seems to be isolating himself from his own dad and family. I have actually arranged to meet my ex father in law so he can see his grand daughter. I have pleaded with my ex to stay locally more or get his partner to visit him to share the driving but he won't. My daughter can't do hobbies she wants to do as she misses half the courses, I've offered to pay for them if he takes her but he won't. He would rather waste 6 hours of his weekend driving her to a house she mainly sits in and plays on an iPad. I feel desperate as I can see things getting worse as our daughter gets older. She will want a life with her friends and I'll be accused of being obstructive. It feels like his last bit of control comes at my daughters expense. If my ex doesn't get his own way over all details he throws the 'obstruction ' card in. He will happily not have his daughter if it doesn't suit him. Any advice would be welcome as I do believe a child needs a mum and dad but how do I manage my daughter
I have tried to arrange to see my daughter but her mother will only let me have her 1 or 2 days in the week, but often changes her mind and is very aggressive and abusive on the phone. I now don't live nearby and often she arranges and cancels visits with my daughter at the last minute leaves me out of pocket.
I am still trying to work through what she did to me through the mental /physical abuse, I don't think I could manage mediation as I don't think I am strong enough to confront her and demand that I see my daughter regularly. but I do pay her maintenance every week.
What options do I have? How much could this cost? What help is there?
My friend has a 8 month old son that he's been trying to have contact with. He broke up with the child's mother 6 months ago and it was not amiable at all. There has been lots of abusive messages and calls on her part and she has basically said that he cannot see his son ever again. My friend has only seen his son a handful of times as it is. I've tried to talk to my friend about seeking legal help but he doesn't have the finances or know where to start and is becoming more and more depressed.
Thank you
I was married to my now ex-wife for 7 years . We seperated 2.5 years ago (my decision) and divorced 1.5 years ago.
We have a 7 year old daughter together.
Factoring in what I left her with (in terms of joint assets) and what i have paid up until now in maintenance payments, i have paid more than 4x CSA guidelines in the 2.5 years that we've been seperated. I have always paid to support my child and have never missed any payments. I now pay through CSA (her choice to have control).
In terms of visiting. I live with my partner of almost 2 years, a 1 hour drive away from my daughter. I have always made the journey myself to pick her up and drop her off every other weekend and i have her for almost half the school holidays throughout the year.
The point I'm making is I've always been there physically and financially.
There have been many issues through the past few years where my ex has been unreasonable where the description of "implacable hostility" fits really well.
The issue i need some advice on is a fairly simple one. I have recently changed jobs and finish at 17:30 each day. I've managed to arrange to finish at 16:30 every other friday (the day i pick my daughter up), which means i should be able to pick her up at 17:45 and get her to my house around 18:45.
My ex feels this is too late for her to travel, won't give her wind down time before bed (even though she goes to bed around 9:30 here as my partner has 2 similar aged children and we let them all watch a film together with snacks).
She is really digging her heels in and now says that i will have to pick my daughter up on Saturday morning. This will have an impact on my time with her and will reduce the options of what i can do with her on that day and i think my ex's issue is very unreasonable. She is very unsupportive of my time with my daughter and seems to make my time with her as difficult as possible and create a lot of unnecessary obstacles.
We have tried mediation but to no avail.
I dont really want to drag this through the courts as it seems a ridiculously simple issue.
Is there no service/agency who can give an impartial, common sense opinion on these matters to open the eyes of (sorry, but usually) mothers who are either intentionally or unintentionally using the child to hurt or control their ex partner?
Advice would be greatly received.
I like to know if you have been refused contact order at a family court, can you reapply again for a contact order at another family court.
My friend was denied a contact order at their hearing because the judge said he and his ex were in good terms and the contact he currently has with his children seems too be working well.
But they really did need the contact order, as things are not really working well nut they both but up a front in court to make things look like all was well. But its not.
So they want to reapply again.
Is this possible if they go to another famuly court?
My partner has always paid maintenance for the children on time and never mucked the children about he always sees them when he says he will.
However since the maintenance payments that my partner pays went down (when the eldest turned 18) his ex has made things very difficult for him to see the children. She will suddenly say that the children have plans at the last minute on the weekends that my partner should see the children so that rather than seeing them all weekend she will only let him see them for a couple of hours meaning that my partner drives the 8 hour journey to take the children for dinner for a couple of hours then has to drive back.
So that we get to see the children at christmas we have previously stayed in a hotel near to them but we only got to see the children for a couple of hours on Christmas Eve, the ex wouldn't let us see the youngest one on Christmas day only the other two and for an hour on boxing day. This wasn't ideal as we had to sit with the choldren in the hotel room, there were no places to eat so we had to take a fridge and some food with us and we didn't get to see family and my oartners family didn't get to see the children. So last year we asked if we could have the children stay with us for either a few days before or after christmas so that we could do a big Cjristmas with them and family and the ex agreed however at the last minute she wouldn't let the children come and stay she said that the choldren thought it would be too cold (this was clearly her putting that into their head as I just don't think its something they would say). The ex is now saying that the children have plans in the summer holidays and won't be able to stay with us as usual this summer and that they won't be staying before or after christmas this year either. My partner is obviousl
Any advice/guidance would be greatly appreciated. My ex partner has refused all lines of communication with me regarding my daughter (3yrs old), she wants total control of the situation, for example, that I have to travel and my ex partner refuses to meet me geographically halfway, because she works until 5.00pm every Friday night.....The problem I have, is my daughter resides in Scotland.
I have researched into representing myself in the local Sheriff Court, as my finances simply not stretch to some of the figures forecast to me (in excess of £7,000).
Any advice would be great, Thanks.
Has anyone or does anyone know of anyone that has been in a similar situation that can offer advice please?
He'll always find something to argue about then blame me and not take him out on that day, sometimes he'll bring him back early because he can't cope or make an excuse to go to the pub. I won't even let him come in my new house because he'd always shout and swear in front of him being really verbally aggressive towards me.
I have been so patient not to flip as it's bubbling up now and I cannot take any more from him, I always let him decide what days he takes him and I've never stopped any contact even when he'll say last minute he's not having him.
What happens in mediation because I'd like for him to just have the one day but what happens if I want to swap a day or we go away a few times a year and as I'm the primary parent is that allowed?? I do NOT want him to sleep over at all, it's bad enough he takes him round to his house, I know for a fact he takes drugs now and then but I have no proof, and his brother smokes weed all the time in the house. He He wants to take him abroad too with his mum and I know for a fact our son won't be happy being away from and my family.
He doesn't care much at all he thinks he is a burden to look after and stresses at everything, I'm potty training at the minute and I know when he has accidents out with him he'll just shout at him because he's never had any patience with him. I do not want him to have the same parental rights as me, I have brought him up for 2 years and he doesn't deserve to be a dad nor does he care, he just cares about getting into my head and I want justice.
Thanks.
She I would like to apply to court for access order.
One thing is that I am not sure of. During breaks from school, can I still work why daughter is with me? Can my wife look after her during my working hours? I have another daughter with my current wife at the age of 2 who is her sister. There is a strong bond between my wife and daughter from previous relationship. Can the Court state that my wife is legally allowed to look after my daughter during holidays/overnight access??
I'm currently in a relationship with a guy who has 2 children (one 5 years old and one 9 months old) with his ex-wife. They're not divorced yet and he has moved out. He pays CSA to the mother every month but since she found out about me she has stopped contact with him. She moved out of their family home and hasn't told him where she lives now. She changed her number and the only communication they have is through emails, she doesn't reply to any of his messages he sends about the children- she will only send the odd email about money she needs for the kids but doesn't aknowledge that he's trying to see his children and is insisting he makes no effort with them. She writes disgusting things in some of her emails to him when they do talk about seeing the children and she slaps awful things on social media about him and (has done about me also) making him out to be a bad father plus she has harrassed us both at work and got herself banned. It's heartbreaking to watch his upset and breaking down everytime she either doesn't reply or sends some miliscious email to him. He has looked into mediation but the costs is too much for him he's working 2 jobs to pay the CSA and the rent and other expeses he has besides that, she woudn't show up for it anyways.. He's been to the CAB and to free legal information evenings that the university provides but they don't offer much help. He hasn't seen his 5 year old in 3 months and his 9 month old in 4 months now. She has also mentioned that she will keep the baby away from him as he won't remember him as more time goes by. Where does he stand with rights to see his children or even have communication with the mother? Is it legal that she doesn't tell him where they live now? He currently drops things off for them at her mothers house but she doesn't help the situation either. Any kind of help would be great. Thank you.
my ex partner is with her new partner, and i want to protect my son as he stays with his mother, is there anything i can do to protect my son , as he was very threatening to me and i think he might do the same to my son.
please advise
thanks
Am I allowed to be present at the next health visitor review?
Thanks
While she is living in Pakistan and if she want to come here she need visa.
Thanks
I am divorced I have contact with my 14 year old son but am not involved in his daily upbringing.He has not been attending school and my ex wife is being taken to court.She says that as I am his father I am also going to be prosecuted. I this possible.
Hi been in this position contact the school direct tell them when you are in charge of the child and when if any days you are responsible for getting him to school. Be polite. Speak to the school welfare officer not a teacher. build a relationship with them. this can and will be used later by you in court for any custody contact orders. it goes to prove shes a bad mother . used it done it still doing it fight on
He has not been attending school and my ex wife is being taken to court.
She says that as I am his father I am also going to be prosecuted . I this possible.
Shes now forced me out of our joint tennancy house, and phoned the social services which have advised her to make me sound as bad as possible to get a house quicker as we have to move out in 2 months.
I have recordings and messages of her addmitting to assult, begging for me back and that she doesent think i should see my daughter out of spite and biterness because i cant get back with her.
She is Latvian and unstable in my eyes and is ignoring me now and trying to stop me and the baby bonding as i have only seen her for 2 hours over 3 weeks.
I have seen a solicitor but still waiting for a letter on advice about pso and court order.
I fear that i wont be able to see my baby now untill a final court order is made which could take 6 months.
Can anyone advise what to do or how long an interim court order takes?
Also she is Latvian and unpredictable and has threatened to move back before.
Is it worth contacting social services and playing the recording of her admiting assult and then "ok ing it" and her saying she feels bad as they are trying to make me sound as bad as possible to get a house quicker?
Im stuck abd confused what to do until solicitor gets back to me.
My whole and I are willing and financially secure and just want access, please help!
Many thanks, martin
Thanks
Darren
How would file for court again ? The last c100 form i got was from mediation but im unsure on how to get another one? If request another form will a mediator have to sign it? Also if it does go back to court will contact with my children have to stop?
Many thanks
His new partners child who is 8 is constantly picking on my children and recently exposed himself to my children when they were asleep.
My ex constantly shouts swears and hits my children and is threatening to take me back to court even though I have not stopped the children from going to see him.
My children do not want to see him anymore what do I do to protect my children.
I went to see a solicitor to get them to write a letter saying that if contact wasn't resumed I would go to court to have the order enforced. (The solicitor isn't acting for me as I can't afford one and the letter was from a one off appointment) They received the letter today and told me to take them to court.
My daughter then phoned me and during an hour long call basically told me that it's her wishes and feelings that she doesn't want to come. I think there is a degree of parental alienation because of things they've told her. She says these things have upset her and that's why she doesn't want to come.
I'm not sure what to do now, as the recitals in the court order state that "upon the parties agreeing to be flexible in terms of X's arrangements and to be guided by her wishes and feelings"
Will a court say that, as she's saying that she doesn't want to see me, she doesn't have to
Thanks
hes also representing himself at court due to financial difficulties where as she has a solicitor.
I'm seeking advice regards to a contact order to see my two boys which one is 4 yrs old and the other is 2yrs old.
i have gone through the mediation process which my ex has refused to attend and they have granted me a certificate so I can now go through the courts - what will happen next ? - will the courts grant me access as my ex refused the mediation or will I have to go back through the process from the courts again - any advise I would be much appreciated .
I'm a quality engineer and due to my realisability having two boys I have recently bought a 2 bed property in which has a decent size garden and have have everything for when I do have my boys stay over-
You should only apply for a Residence Order if you and your partner cannot come to an amicable arrangement relating to the living arrangements of your children. If this is the case, you should consult with a solicitor specialising in family law, who will advise you on the best course of action to take, and may suggest that a period of mediation is entered into before pursuing the matter through the courts. Paramountcy is the term used to describe how the court will look upon such requests for the issuing of a Residence Order. Paramountcy relates to the importance to the children of where they should live and also what is in their best interests. For example, if the court feels that the children’s best interests would to stay with their mother, then they are obliged to issue in her favour. The most important aspect of any court proceeding relating to the care and wellbeing of your children is what is best for them. I hope this helps.
My son is coming to stay with me and he is two years old.. me and his mother recently broke up and i want to know how i can secure his recidency with me so his mother cant just take him if she gets mad or feel the need to take him.. Im not on child support and we have never been through the childs court for assistance because we always tried to avoid that.. Im not trying to keep him away I just would like to know is there any extra steps I have to take so she just cant change his residency with me when she feels like it.. Thanks in advance
After 12 years abusing us ex walked over us. The torture and emotional and mental abuse at the hands of ex suffered by us can never be forgotten in a million year. he was arrested and released on conditional bail. he has sexually, physically and verbally abused our daughter who is 10 years old. the child hates to see or speak to ex is the message that any officer has heard on questioning her. EX is also in other relationship and her baby is due in november. EX is trying through common friends, sending constant threats and controlling even after warning. The attitude of ex has caused the anxiety and depression to the children. what rights do i have and how can i protect the children from the further abuse at the hands of EX.
She is also telling anyone who will listen that I am "still stalking her and being aggressive towards her" despite having no contact with her other than a written diary which only contains information regarding our child. I have a witness who will provide a statement would this be of any use to me if I wrote to the court?
Any advice greatly received.
Essentially she is seeking to control how and when I see my child as the cross undertaking only has six months to run upon which time I am free to do as I please regarding direct contact with her
It cleat states that any contact to my daughter needs to be through myself or the court, but this is not happening as my ex partners new partner is now trying to have her say to.
But my main concern is that my daughters dad is an ex drug abuser, don't get me wrong he's doing great now and has has mostly regular contact with her for almost the last yr, my issue is that he has bad mood swings due to his non drug abuse now and that his partner has made many s threat of violence to me and has s previous record for GBH. I'm concerned that this could excolate to my daughter and that my ex is not mentally capable of stopping this. He says that he will take me to court and fight for more contact but my daughter is also not taking any of this well she is now studying her GCSES and has been so unhappy everyone she comes home from seeing her dad and his partner, I've also found out she has been punching the bedroom wall to relieve this stress :(
Is there anything I can do to stop him from seeing her until she more capable of dealing with this and he has a better home life for her to be a part of?
Was married 10 years with 2 little ones, aged 9 and 4. She was given residental parent to both after divorce a few months ago. She didnt get on with 9 year old (ADHD) and kicked him out to me and new partner twice.
He wanted to live with me and new partner (who wasnt involved in divorce as we met after initial split) so she relented and gave him permission to live with us.
We have fought to get him into a new school in our area as I now live 25 miles away from her. She fought to keep him in his original school in mid Kent as it has an 'exemplary' Ofsted status, but I run my own business and cannot spend 3 hours and 100 miles every day in a car and still pay the bills, taking him to a school that just wants to keep him drugged up as it is convenient for them because they dont have resources.
I found perfect school for him that can handle his 'condition' and has significant extra central government funding for this.
I used trump card of he doesnt live in catchment area for current school, so had the law behind me. She went to new school with new partner to decide and was very impressed with the resources available. She agreed to finally let my oldest boy be happy with us and have the space away from her that he needs.
My partner is Czech and has very traditional values that we both adore...she could walk away from us at anytime, but she refuses as she knows we all need each other as much as we do and we all love each other equally.
We are now happy and want to move on, BUT the biggest problem is now the smallest one.
Ex now rings me 3-5 times a day and texts constantly demanding that little one has contact etc..which I do. She accuses me of torment and neglect on his half.
I have him religiously every 2 weeks, sometimes every week. Mostly from Friday night to Sunday night and sometimes Saturday night to Sunday night, depending if I'm on rota to work Saturday mornings.
She is always very very late, or very early with drop off from arranged times.
3 times since Christmas, she has agreed by text and verbal for her to drop little one to me for weekend visits. I have kept to the bargain, but she has turned phone off and isnt there at the agreed drop off time and we have him until monday morning when she returns after new boyfriend adventures.
What can I do to stop contact only with her? I have tried and paid for very expensive mediation meetings about it, but she just tries to keep airing dirty laundry from the divorce which is completely out of context and unnecessary
Her abuse with voicemail and texts etc has led me tonight to somewhere I didnt want to go, but she is now on the block list on my mobile
I want to see him, but all I can find is contact points where you meet child and stay at contact point (normally at church hall etc) for a couple of hours then hand them back to volunteers for hand over.
I want to have relationship with the little one and love him dearly, but cannot a
My little boy is 4 and I split with his mum when he was 3 week old. He lives with his mum and at present I am having him overnight one night a weekend (3 weeks out of 4 and for tea Friday of the 4th weekend.) We have both been flexible in our arrangements and up to now it's worked quite well. She has recently informed me that she wishes to change our agreement to all weekend every other weekend to allow her to plan activities for the full weekend either with our son or without our son. A change from 3 nights per fortnight to 6.
I am happy to do one full weekend per month but not two as I don't think it's fair.
I have told her that I am enititled have my child one night overnight per week and would like this to be through the week. She has said no to overnight visits through the weekterm time as our son will be starting school (she is a teacher and thinks that he should be at home on a school night) but has offered tea time visit on a friday night where he can stay up a little later. I work full time and could pick my son up at 5.30pm take him home and put him to bed for 7pm and take him to school the next morning. My ex works part time and I work full time. I also live with my parents whilst she has her own home.
I am prepared to take this court for overnight access one night per week and one night per weekend. Is it worth doing this?
I've had a very good relationship with my 13 year old daughter and an amicable one with her mother since our child was born. I have her every other weekend at minimum. Never missed a weekend and never missed a child support payment in 13 years.
Now my ex has met another guy who has messed with the mothers head to the point that it's now become obvious that he's controling her and they want me out of the picture.
Apparently I'm too soft on my daughter and don't punish her enough. Anyway, communication has broken down and now they are threatening to stop me seeing her.
I want some kind of legal document to take away their threat and for my own peace of mind that I can continue to see her regardless of what they say. My daughter has expressed her upset at all this and that she of course wants to keep seeing me. It's causeing such stress for the poor girl. They have taken her phone off her so I have to call the mother to speak to her and she keeps it on loud speaker to moniter how nice I'm being. It's crazy.
I think in time my daughter will choose to come and live with me. But I can't push her into that. I would love her to live with me although this would mean her moving schools and area.
But one step at a time. I can't be threatened with no contact because I don't agree with all the harsh punishments she's now subjected to for very minor so called offences.
Being 13 how much of a say will she have? I don't want this to cause her more stress. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for reading
can she or will she have any grounds to stop me seeing or even stopping my girlfriend from being around my daughter as she is claiming that she thinks we have argued in front of my daughter which is not true and trying to say she thinks my daughter is unsafe around my girlfriend which again is untrue as my ex has let me have my daughter since after the domestic and my girlfriend is amazing with my daughter.
Kind regards
Hi I all, am hoping somewone can shed some light on my problem.
Split up with the ex, 2 months later findout she is pregnant.
To cut a long story short I used to see her every Sunday, and then out of the blue she moved away. 6 hrs commute one way. I have had no say in anything and only get to see her for a day every now and again. I pay maintenance to what csa state.
She is now nearly two and I have asked to have her stay for a week here and there and I have been told yet again NO.
Am starting to think the only way to see her properly is have the courts sort it out?does any one know what my right as a dad would be on this matter
Any help would be much appreciated
Can you advise me if this qualifies as joint custody? He also has her odd weekends during the year for attending family occasions.
Thank you.
The joke after 2 Cafcass reports that no safe guards are needed, Been asked for another interview with my daughter at there offices with a member of my x family present. having refused this absolutely stupid stance. im in contempt of court..........
Top it all im told that as this person is a major part of my daughters life they have more rights then me, and wont be having there contact reduced......
Basically cafcass have told me I have no rights....
got 8 times of my daughter out of the country with out my approval, name change, 3-4 failed contacts in 6 mnths. may as well ..is in the wind for the good this system is....
As I refused to sign a house over this what happens.... child used as a weapon..
I want to move to be near my family. Can I move even though the court have granted him a court order for contact.
What will happen if I just move anyway? Will I be in trouble? I feel so alone without my mum and sisters.
Any advice appreciated. :(
With thanks jacko
I'm totally appalled at the injustice of this supposed "fair" legal system! Even the CAFCASS OFFICER apologised to my husband and shook his head in dismay!
Might have to send the judge a copy of The Laming Enquiry so she can familiarise herself with children safeguarding recommendations!!!!
I have no criminal record,rarely drink alcohol and never do drugs.
I'm expecting her to come out with all sorts of "evidence" which I will have to try and defend myself against non existant "charges".
Dreading it all.
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