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Specific Issue Orders

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Specific Issue Orders

Specific Issue Orders, much like the name suggests, are orders sought from the family court to determine a particular matter in connection with the exercise of Parental Responsibility. These orders can cover a wide range of issues that you and your ex-partner cannot agree on, such as:

Before applying to the family court for a Specific Issue Order, you'll need to complete the correct documentation using our free Court Form Finder.

        
  • Whether your child or children should change their name(s)
  • Decisions pertaining to their education
  • Whether they should have a particular medical treatment or operation
  • Whether they should receive religious or non-religious education
  • Taking the child to live abroad on a permanent basis
  • Preventing someone from having contact with your child

What the Court Will Do

As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. Applications for a Specific Issue Order are heard before a judge and a representative from Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Services Officer), who is a qualified social worker. In the first instance, this meeting will endeavour to reach an agreement between the parents as to how to determine the issue. This needs the consent of both parents, which can often be impossible if there have been allegations of domestic violence.

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Court's Discretion to Make Order of its Own Volition

It is important to note that a magistrate or judge may make a Specific Issue Order of their own volition. This is generally in situations in which the judge is satisfied that there is a risk that the parent in question may go ahead with a particular course of action without seeking the other’s consent. In other circumstances, and only if there are grounds to do so, the judge or magistrate may make a Specific Issue Order if the responsible parent is acting in an inappropriate way. This could relate to, for example, taking the child to places that are not deemed suitable for children, or leaving them in the care of a person who is unsuitable for childcare.

Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.

Directions For Hearing

If this meeting does not prove productive, the parents and the Cafcass officer, along with any solicitors representing either party, go before the District Judge or magistrates in order to obtain directions for a trial. Usually both parents submit witness statements, and the Cafcass officer (which could be the same person as before, but not necessarily) will then interview both parents and prepare a report. If possible, the Cafcass officer should see the child in the company of each of the parents.

Full Hearing

If the case then goes to a final hearing, each parent will give evidence in the Family Court and will be asked questions under oath by the opposing side. It is commonplace for the Cafcass officer’s report to settle matters before the final hearing happens and it is quite rare for a judge to find against the recommendations made in the report. If this happens, the judge must provide reasons for doing so. If the judge has made an error of law in coming to this decision, you can challenge the decision by way of judicial review. This is a complicated legal procedure, however, and you should always seek legal advice before embarking on such a claim. For more information, see the page on www.CourtroomAdvice.co.uk.

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160 questions
Ask Separated Dads a Question
Dicko2112 19/10/2020 at 2:55 pm
My ex-wife and her solicitor won't allow me to have supervised contact with my children they are asking for me to agree to a live with order or prohibited Steps Order before they allow me contact she is saying that she is scared that I will not return the children which is not the case
I just want to have contact with the children
I have asked them if they will agree to a specific issue order stating that I must return the children at the end of the session until the next court case

Does anyone know if a specific issue order can be used in this way
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 9:48 pm
For the record i do care about my teenage daughter .i do worry about her .because I do think( now )as I am older her mother is (incompetent) and I do think I could rasie her better .and there a fathers these days (doing it serously ).I am (stand up guy my reputation speaks for it self ). and I would be proud to have my daughter full time .away from her incompetent mother.i would have to change my single men lifestyle get our own house together but it could be done .21 century studies show fathers make better parents .
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 9:23 pm
Truth is my posts were from a (different time )and don’t make( sense now) and most definitely (my daughter would not understand ).because it really is a different time now .i am just a rambling fool that has a lower iq then people at the endeavour foundation .and can’t work out why my daughter wants nothing to do with me ?.thats right I threatened to kill her mother and called her a two bit harlot junkie .so yeah that might not go down to well .dam thats it I should have got a solicitor.
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 8:55 pm
Truth is I do have a teenage daughter .(scary) how old she is to be honest I think she is 14 or 15 around that age .last time I seen her she was 5 so there is a massive difference.and most likely nothing like the (little girl I remember ).time flys bye .sorry for all the stupid posts .
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 8:26 pm
I was just venting .there is no way I would go to (jail or ever commit murder )i am a good person .just a average semi normal bloke down on he’s luck with a side off anxiety and a slash off lonely and hopefully not unemployed for to long .other then that life is swell .
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 3:57 am
The mother off my child thinks I have depression anxiety, autistic delusional .if she wants the truth (I will give to her )I went (quite )because I was going kill her and Gordon and big Tyson and bury them on my property have a party then hand myself in to the police .i weighed it up and was content with it I would get three meals day a tv gym to work out in other outlaws to keep me on my toes . down side there is no women but that never bothered me .I was thinking I could make jail my home .and get my (revenge )on all the bastards who thought they had one up on me .so if that’s makes me crazy well I am crazy then .ps bree’s mother keep your distance darling it’s very easy for me to go the other way if you know what mean wink wink .
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 3:21 am
If the mother off my child reads this .she might think I am (delusional ,autistic under the influence off drugs or booze).truth is I am none off those things .this is gods truth and my real feelings .she is the only person I have wanted to (murder )and I am quite happy to spent the rest off my life in jail for gods truth it might sound like a cliche but I am (100 percent serous ).so she best keep her distance from me .because she is (very lucky )I didn’t follow though with it I mean that .and if I seen her again I really don’t know if could stop myself from (killing her ).so it’s best to stay away and for her daughter to make up her own mind in the future if she wants to see me and if she doesn’t and wants to remove surname go for it .and if she wants to stand with someone like her mother they deserve each other .final post
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 1:41 am
I thank your blog though out my (melt down ).i have found my strength again have a strong understanding off the situation.truth is we all probably go though some sort off melt down at lease once in our life’s .i sure did it really dropped me to knees.i guess I am like Timmy .on a brighter note he is married now and settled down and us found peace off not seeing he’s children and understands he will never see them again .i can honestly say I am all most there now but still have hope one day she will come see me .it most likely will (never happen) but it’s alway good to have a little hope in this world .thanks for your Blog it helped me though a (angry hurt and crazy emotional time) .i will leave you all in peace now .
C.laurie 25/10/2019 at 12:01 am
@tassie.i know i have said this before .but this is my final post .the reality is I will never see my daughter again .i am not crying about it because no (one cares) .been helpful this blog but for me it’s to (late )to see my daughter .(i hope )when she is growen up she comes to see me (fingers crossed) .in the mean time I will just get on with my life .and if the mother off my child reads this the gods truth is (I will never talk to her again if I seen her in the street I would walk the other way) .so best off luck to all the fathers out there trying to see there children .All I have now is hope one day she comes to see me .
C.laurie 24/10/2019 at 1:36 am
@tassie.(i am not like that now )I was young back then still immature reckless and silly .(I did learn from that experience and paid the price) .i never got to see my daughter grow up never been to One off her sport matches never got the change to teach her drive .like other (better fathers )then me who where (mature enough )to get a solicitor for rights to there children .where I was paying criminal solicitors to keep me out off jail instead off paying family solicitor to get me my rights to my daughter .and they are not (cheap ).i do see my mistakes now .
C.laurie 24/10/2019 at 12:55 am
@tassie.many years ago I had bad breakup it was (coming for years )to be honest .I handled things the wrong way I was aggressive and under the influence off drugs and alochol frequently (at the time ) .and got in sum (serous trouble )with the police .i was very close to going to jail gods truth I was put on probation I (seriously injured my arm )was in and out off the lockup that frequently I was on first name basis with the officers gods truth .and (blow my chances )at having visitation with my daughter .and it might sound like a (cop out) I had that many court cases over a 6 month period for dv and other driving charges assault charge on a police officer .once I got throw all that and given my sentence.I was (done with court rooms )that’s why I never went to court for visitation .i needed a break from court rooms .so the meaning off my story is (don’t do what i did )and you father out there have a better chance in the court room for visitation that’s my advice.
C.laurie 23/10/2019 at 9:47 pm
@tassie.after reading your story and countless others .the negativity the accusations the police involvement.thats the reason I walked away in a (nut shell) .all I can say is I made the right decision.all I can say is her mother and partner can rasie them i am done for good .they want to (plays games )with me (now )they will (lose that’s gods truth )because (one thing this world did do to me change me )to the point nothing bothers or scares me anymore .the way I see it they have drama off teenagers they have to support them .(not me )so I might think differently to most men I don’t know or care.
tazzie 23/10/2019 at 5:26 pm
Hello. my ex partner is filling my daughters head with her being autistic. my daughter has been assessed and cleared. but her mother is collecting information from the Internet in front of my daughter. is this a form of grooming and emotional abuse. ???
Wayne 18/06/2019 at 4:41 pm
My Ex has recently moved to the other side of the country because of her new partner.
Because of this I'm not able to see him nearly as often as I was. I asked to be kept in the loop about how he's doing up there with childminder and school etc but she won't tell me anything saying I can hear it from my son, he's only 4 years old. She refuses to o give me contact details so I can gone phone them myself too.
I don't want to hear it from him, I want to hear it from the people caring for him so I know how he's actually getting on.
Is there anything I can do through the courts so I can have more rights to know how my son is doing?
JC 14/06/2019 at 9:31 am
Hi

My ex wife don't share with me school results and next steps in future.
My son is Asperger 14 years old is ending 9 year.
We have a Education Health and care plan, I ask about, she refuse to share with me.

What I should do?
regards
Tom21 26/05/2019 at 8:38 pm
Hi all me and my wife have splitt recently 2 years ago went to court and had signed agreement in court that no e of us can take kids abroad without others signed letter my wife won't let me take kids on holliday and won't even let them sleep over at my place her excuse is they are too small son is 9 and daughter is 6 cam any o e advise in similar situation how ever I did let her take kids abroad and I was fine with she has boomed another holliday just found out from my son but really don't want to stop my kids from gav I g their holliday can any o e advise pls what to do we do have court order in place
Dad 13/03/2019 at 6:17 pm
My ex-partner wants to send my son to a nursery that I don't agree with we both sat down and tried to come to an agreement the ex-partner is adamant that she will be sending my son to the nursery that she wants she is saying that I cannot have a say can someone give me some advice
Lilly 05/03/2019 at 2:47 pm
Hi, my partner's ex wants us to start doing the school run on the days she has the children. We already take responsibility for pick up and drop off on the days the children are with us, but she now wants us to pick the kids up from her house, take them to school. Pick up from school on a night and drop back off at her house. We offered we could have the children extra days and do the school run on our days but says no to doing it on he days. Are we correct in saying this?
Mulit 26/01/2019 at 10:10 pm
My ex partner has decided to move into her new partners property with my son but her partner is currently in prison for domestic violence. I am worried for my child who is three as he has 12 convictions on his record and drugs offences. Also I have always had my child in a routine where I had him 3 night's a week only for my ex last week to inform me when I was on my way to get him that she had moved my child and taken him out of a school he was settled in this was by text message. My ex was in a relationship with this man a week after he was arrested for breaking his ex partners nose and collerbone they spent 7 weeks together before he was sentenced to 2 years 3 months in prison. Since he has been in prison she has moved into his property and I am so concerned about my son's safety when He's out can you help
Lsuth 27/08/2018 at 7:03 pm
Hi, my partner is adamant they are taking our child out of their current school, which they put our child in to suit them as their partner was living in that area, however now they have split from their partner they want to move our child to a new school where they are now living, what can be done?
Jay 26/08/2018 at 9:14 am
My ex partner is getting married soon and we have 2 children together and they have my surname. She wants to change our children surname to her new married name which I am against as she has no right too what can I do to stop this from happening? I am on both birth certificate pay Matenaice and see them regularly. Just really need some advice.
SeparatedDads Editor 17/08/2018 at 10:16 am
If your ex continues to refuse you taking your child out of the country, you would have to ask permission from the courts. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
Scott 16/08/2018 at 6:29 pm
Hi, just after some direction with reference to holidays, I’m getting married abroad soon however, my ex partner is refusing to let my 5 year old daughter come, I’m on the birth certificate, pay maintenance and have always see my daughter, she has taken her out of country twice and never asked permission, just hoping to find my next steps, thank you
SeparatedDads Editor 27/07/2018 at 2:16 pm
Unfortunately, your only option is to apply to court to have the passports returned. However, it is unlikely your case would be heard before your due date of travel.
Missherhappiness 24/07/2018 at 12:00 pm
Ex partner who I still live with has stolen our children’s passports from my private belongings. He knows they were to take a trip in two weeks and is refusing to hand them back. There has Violence in the home and the police were involved. They are saying the passports are a civil matter and not a police matter. What can I do?
Tasha 22/06/2018 at 7:53 pm
Can i use mediation to get a court order from the courts. So i can get passports done as my ex isnt responding so i can take my girls abroad as hes on the birth certificate?
Tasha 22/06/2018 at 7:49 pm
Can i use mediation to have a court order to get permission from the courts to take my kids passports and take them abroad?
SeparatedDads Editor 22/06/2018 at 9:12 am
If you have parental responsibility, then your ex should have asked your permission before she left the country, If you have PR and wish to prevent this happening again, you can apply to court. As stated in the article, as in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order.
awi 21/06/2018 at 1:50 am
Hi,
My wife is seprated from year and half...she took my 4 years son for holidays out of uk without informing me ..when i ask her where she is taking him ..she refuse to tell...can you advice me what can i do about it...
SeparatedDads Editor 11/06/2018 at 10:58 am
If your ex attempts to stop you seeing your child, then you would have to go through the process listed here .
Jason Swift 10/06/2018 at 7:31 pm
I was hoping you can give me some advise.my ex is trying to stop me seeing my daughter, we both have parental responsible, can she stop me from seeing my daughter thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 08/06/2018 at 1:58 pm
Before a parent can change a child's name, the Deed Poll policy is that it has to be satisfied that everyone with parental responsibility for the child has consented to the name change, You don't say how your ex has managed this, unless your ex has changed your child's name unofficially. If your ex has breached the original court order and changed your child's name without permission of the courts, (officially or unofficially) then you may need to apply for a C79
c.laurie 08/06/2018 at 3:02 am
@iheldyoufirst.can you afford a solicitor?. Or maybe to a j p at the court house help you fill in forms .
c.laurie 08/06/2018 at 2:32 am
@I heldyoufirst.you said your x change your child name bye de poll ?.but you asked the school to change it back why ask the school?.de poll is official I see you do have trouble with the forms but I am sorry to say bro it might to late ?.and I am Not been rude .
I heldyoufirst 08/06/2018 at 1:14 am
My ex partner has changed my daughter’s name back to her maiden name by de poll I have asked the school to change it back but soon realised No point in taking to them put it in writing sent to the school and doctors who said I have to obtain a court order even though I have parental responsibility for my daughter I am on both birth certificates as I have a son a child arrangement order is in place it states child shall not be known by another name. It’s seems she can do as she likes I need to fill in a c100 for a Pacific steps order But am lost on the c100 form I have already tacked her to court once. She has done this without my permission or the courts permission I have checked with them but I am unsure of what parts to fill in
SeparatedDads Editor 05/06/2018 at 12:25 pm
As long as you keep to the terms of the order i.e 'give six weeks' notice', then your ex cannot claim you have breached the order and you are not in breach of the order.
SeparatedDads Editor 01/06/2018 at 3:46 pm
Your husband would have to get permission from you to take your child abroad, otherwise it is considered as abduction
James 01/06/2018 at 10:27 am
I was wondering if I could have some advice.
I have residency of my son and I wanted to take him on holiday during term time, which will affect the contact he has with his mother.
The order states time can be adjusted as agreed and I have to give six weeks notice for holidays.
She cannot stop me taking him as I have residency but can she apply for a breach of order if I do take him??
Or should I persue a specific issue order to solve the matter now and in the future??
Loopy 01/06/2018 at 2:02 am
I really need your help, me and my husband separated 4 months ago. He has booked a 4 week holiday in July. He has the kids the weekend that he flys out because it’s his weekend, I have my suspicions that he is taking them out of the country without even telling me. A neighbor has been invited to his leaving party he is throwing I’m worried sick please advise me
Idi 03/05/2018 at 5:13 pm
Hi there

Please i laready have cintact order in place to see my son once every two weeks. Unfortunately i am never involved in any decision on his education or anything else. I intend to apply for a 'specific issue order' so that any decidion on his education has to involve me, not just his mother and her new boyfriend.

Can i still apply for this order, despite having a contact order?

Your help is very much appreciated.
Thanks in advance
SeparatedDads Editor 23/04/2018 at 10:39 am
Cafcass only becomes involved in a case at the court's request/when the court feels it needs to.
QuickQuestion 22/04/2018 at 2:38 pm
I attended an urgent specific issue hearing on Friday in family court regarding which school my two children should attend. My ex and I have to accept offers made by the end of the month and decided to race to court when we did not agree on schools.

At no time was CAFCASS involved in considering the best interests of the children, one of whom is 7.5 and is happy to speak for herself about which school she would like to attend. Isn't it required that CAFCASS be a part of this process and the hearing? I don't understand its absence. Any chances that I might get permission to appeal the decision due to lack of CAFCASS's involvement in considering the best interests of the children?
Mike 20/04/2018 at 1:53 pm
Hi, I wonder if anyone can provide any assistance to my ongoing case (s). I have represented myself at the initial FHDRA hearing regarding contact arrangements, and have today raised a separate Specific Issue Order Application for a dispute over schooling.

My ex partner has essentially changed school preferences behind my back. I have PR. I also have evidence that the decision to change schools was ill thought and not in the LO best interests - gone from Ofsted outstanding to another school with lesser accreditation. I have a letter from my ex partner (when we were on good terms) as part of the initial school application to the first choice school, this praised the school on every level. This was also the only school we visited.

My ex partner changed schools after the deadline citing lies such as welfare issues as an exceptional circumstances to change. This all contradicts to what she told Cafcass after changing school saying I was a good dad and there were no welfare issues.

Anyway, I am fighting to secure a place in the first preference school we agreed on when we were on good terms. It will be going to a directions hearing next week before the school appeals window closes.

Does anyone have any advise on a school dispute? Will I need legal representation at the directions hearing to put across the important education points and to reveal her lies regarding her decisions to change schools behind my back? Is the Judge at the directions hearing able to stamp an Order given this is time sensitive if I can prove the decision to move schools was not in the LO best interests? Or would this dispute have to go to a final hearing at which time the schools appeal window would be closed!

I was not impressed with the female magistrates at the recent FHDRA and feel they came across biased. I have asked to request a DJ at future hearings.

Any assistance will be grateful. Hope all this makes sense.
Golden eyes 08/04/2018 at 10:36 pm
Hi maybe someone could help me my ex still married left the house with my daughter know I am asking to have 2 to 3 days she keep saying that no and demand that I must do what she wants if she says that I need to pick upy daughter at 10 and bring back at 12.30 I must do !well I do not agree with that because all I want is spend days with my daughter.I feel that she is using my daughter, because we are still trying to agree about how much money I should give to her for my kid.I never said I do not give I just said let's seat and talk but she keep changing the omelette can I get and order to make her let me see my daughter or do the law just protect this kind off people that only look for the money?please a little help will be good
Jake 03/02/2018 at 11:56 pm
Hi guys I'm wondering if you may be able to offer some advise? I need to obtain a specific issue order, I'm aware that one will not be issued until me and my ex wife have attended mediation. The problem is I'm an American air force service member and she is British and since our divorce I have moved back to the United States on orders. My ex wife was recently (June 2016) incarcerated on repeat driving offences for 6 weeks and upon release was given 18 months probation. One of the stipulatuons of the pobation was she was not to leave the country and I have recently found out she is in the USA and was here on the grounds of looking for work to move here with a current partner and therefore move my son with her. My son is currently living with his maternal grandmother five days a week as she has no fixed abode. Her mother has been in contact with me as she is sure that my ex wife upon her return to the UK on the 7th February 2017 plans to take my son and leave the country. I have been in contact with social services as has her mother and their advise was to call 101 and get a lawyer which we have done but being in another country I'm very limited as to what I can physically do. Is there anyway what so ever I can obtain some sort of emergency custody order either myself or my sons grandmother to prevent this from happening?
Thank you
Jacob Garcia
SeparatedDads Editor 15/12/2017 at 9:56 am
It is unlikely you would be allowed to apply to court unless you have attended mediation first, as court will request this. I have posted your comment on our Facebook page. We hope it helps.
Stu 14/12/2017 at 9:26 am
Dear Separated Fathers, would you mind posting this one on your facebook forum? After 2 ½ years of issues between myself and my ex-wife, she has now denied me access due to making sweeping unfounded statements and allegations until we go to mediation… i havent seen my girls for 10 weeks now and I’m simply wanting to go to court for a contact order because she is an impossible woman… can you guys provide any advice on representing myself and what to expect when I submit my C100 form, timescales, costs… etc etc I can’t afford a solicitor, but I can put a good case together with character references and a 20 page timeline of nightmare events since May 17.
MNc Editor 12/12/2017 at 3:12 pm
@Msrk - you can't apply for a court order until you've attended mediation first to try and sort your problems out.
Msrk 12/12/2017 at 11:23 am
The non-residencial parent has encouraged me to punish our child for making up lies about having a brother to avoid being caught as a cheat for 1.5years.
Took our child in non-residencial care instead of telling the truth, however was found out after 9weeks. Then proceeded to speak fouly of the residencial parent from 2012-present day causing emotional harm which lead to behaviour problems and play theorapy. Then the non residential parent then suggested that the residential parent me had been abusing our child and gave misinformation about the care the residential parent was giving which lead to an investigation that lead to exceptional distress to the child and residential parent who faced trauma because of it. The residential parent changed the school of our child and minimised the contact to safeguard, however threats are being made to discover the new school and adult child boundaries are being crossed by the non-residencial parent who is discussing contact arrangments, sharing intimate health details and complaining to our child which is still causing harm to the health but due to the sibling relationship this is the reason contact is being maintained on a minimal level. However the residencial parent, me, would like to proceed with an order to prevent commication with the school and medical practices and certain adult child discussions. Does anyone have advice on this, what order should be made, or advise on what way could this be addressed
Ray 25/10/2017 at 10:34 am
@Hague T
Yes I do understand that she is being protective (from our conversations I can tell this is all it is, no other issue), and I have felt the same when she goes back home with our daughter and I cannot go with them. I think all parents will have this feeling - maybe women more so. However, there is no risk to me taking my daughter (I am not going to remain in Australia), it is to attend a family wedding (so not a travelling on a whim), and it would mean a lot for my family to have both of us there. I just feel rather betrayed that on at least 10 occasions I have been very happy for her to go to see her family without me and take our daughter out of the country, this is the first time I would like to do this and she is trying to block this. I am trying to get her to calm down and be little more rational about the situation.

I agree that going to court would be the end of the marriage - however having one set of rules for her traveling with our children and another for me will also create a mess - obviously not a divorce - but I don't think that this is a reasonable expectation.

Thanks for your response, I appreciate some outside perspective.
HagueT Editor 20/10/2017 at 10:49 am
@Ray - I don't think it would help your marriage if you apply for a specific issue order as it would mean taking your wife to court which would be stressful all round to say the least. You could try mediation which you would have to try anyway before being allowed through the court process. You can kind of understand why your wife doesn't want you to take your child out of the country to Australia - it's that motherly protective thing - it doesn't have to be rational. I'm a bloke and I can see why she might be a bit nervous.
Ray 19/10/2017 at 1:28 pm
Hi,

I am married, no separated or divorced. I would like to take my daughter (18 months) to Australia to attend a family wedding. Due to work commitments my wife cannot attend and is refusing to let me take our daughter. She cannot provide a solid reason other than the flight is too long for our daughter (18hrs - not really a problem).

I have previously allowed my wife to take our daughter out of the UK to visit her family and have always given my fullest consent and helped with travel.

What are my options? Can I get an SIO even though were are married? It is really a horrible issue and I see this as really destabilising our marriage whichever way it goes.

Thanks,
Anon 04/08/2017 at 11:57 am
My original post 24th July. She took one child to Scotland that day, without my permission and after I advised her not to as it would be breaking the order and I would take her back to court. They returned two days ago and I finally got to see my child today. I applied to the courts for a breach of court order and have been called back in a months time. Hoping there will be a punishment of some kind as she has been breaking the order in regards to spending time with our child who lives with me and regularly getting her hopes up and letting her down.
Jon 25/07/2017 at 5:01 pm
Hi I have been having some issues surrounding my daughter's passport with my separated wife. I have been refusing to give my ex my daughters passport passport over concern that you might take to Poland. However, my ex applied for a renewed passport and got one and took my daughter to Poland without telling me. She did come back with daughter. After contacting the passport office, my daughter new passport was not checked properly as I was the original person to apply for the first one. So her passport was cancelled. My separated wife said she's going to take me to court as what to have the passport. On a few occasions she said to me if things don't work out here I will go back to Poland and if it does not work out with brexit she will go back with my child. What you I do if takes me to court to stop her? Any advice would be appreciated
ANON22 25/07/2017 at 10:51 am
Can you apply for an urgent child arrangements order and a child arrangements order going forward at the same time?

Mother disputing holiday previously agreed with father so urgent application being made in respect to this but also want to apply for child arrangements order to ensure that access continues to be given and mother does not stop father seeing child in the future.
SeparatedDads Editor 24/07/2017 at 10:26 am
You don't say when your ex plans on going, but you may not be able to get a hearing in time. You might wish to check with your solicitor what part of the order stands. Your solicitor could send a letter reminding your ex of the obligations of the court order and the repercussions if she breaches the order.
Anon 21/07/2017 at 5:16 pm
We have a child arrangements, prohibited steps order and specific issue order here which states as one of the court orders that neither parent can take either child out of the jurisdiction of England or Wales without permission from the court. The mother is taking one child to Scotland for an unknown period of time. She has highlighted a part of the paperwork which is generic on all the paperwork which states on the warning that it doesn't prevent the removal of the children for less than one month. I have been informed that the PSO overrides this bold generic part but she is still taking her. Is court on Monday my only option now?
SeparatedDads Editor 21/07/2017 at 2:00 pm
As specified in the article, your partner's only recourse is to suggest mediation or if your partner's ex refuses, take the matter to court via a Specific Issue Order. The most important thing is to leave enough time for the case to be heard (which if the first break is not until new year, then your partner has plenty of time). However, even if an order is put in place, your partner's ex can still play awkward by coming up with an excuse nearer the time. In a case where a parent is taking a child away, it is very difficult to enforce after the event. Therefore, your partner may wish to seek some legal advice. I empathise, this can be extremely frustrating for a parent who wants to spend quality time with their kids, but who is thwarted at every attempt.
Peach 21/07/2017 at 4:59 am
Hi. My partners ex has been nothing but trouble since we got together. She makes everything difficult and clearly out of jealousy and bitterness. Our own baby is due in 5 weeks making us 1 family. Next year we want to book a family holiday to Florida and she's already been telling him 'you can't go with dad, somebody will steal you' just to scare him. Luckily he has his last name too. We've booked a caravan too at the new year. She had him last new year and this new year she's refusing to let us take him. She's a permanent hitler. What can we do?
SeparatedDads Editor 07/07/2017 at 2:05 pm
Your only recourse would be to apply to court for access to your children. As well as filling in a C100 contact form, you would have to fill in a C4 form. This is an application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts and will allow the court to put a trace on your children in order for you to be able to bring the matter to court.
Sharky1712 30/06/2017 at 5:19 pm
My fiance took my 3 young daughters aged 6 months,18months and 4 yrs of age last week and I know believe that she has told so many lies to authorities and has been moved into a hostel.
She has now completely deleted her social media account and changed her phone number so nobidy can get In touch with her.
I am on the children's birth certificate and do have PR but nobody is willing to help me gain access to my children.
I have no idea why she's done this and as you can probably guess I'm at my whits end with worry, so much so that it's made me very ill.
I'm led to believe that if she has been moved into a hostel or refuse then she would've been told to have no contact with anybody , but I know my fiance and this just isn't her ,, we had a loving relationship and I just can't understand why she would do this to me or just stop my children from.having contact with me.
Can someone please help me with any advice as my fiance and chikdren mean everything to me .
SeparatedDads Editor 29/06/2017 at 4:08 pm
The courts will usually opt for family uniformity. Now your child is aged 11, he will also be asked his opinion. The court will decide what it thinks is in your child's best interests, I don't imagine you will have a problem. It's just a shame it has to go to court.
lobo 28/06/2017 at 7:37 pm
Hi there,
My son has my name on birth certificate and I have PR. Since he was born his mum has been very difficult and it has significantly affected my child. When he was 8 I agreed (against my better judgment) to change his surname to hers as she was pressuring him and I was trying to think of his needs . The verbal agreement between us and my son was that she would agree to change back to mine if she got married. One year ago he had the second section 47 filed against her and I now have court arrangement order. He stays with me full time and mum is supposed to see him 3 hours a week but hasn't for a month as son won't see her. She has also since got married and has different surname. My son wants to be called my name (he is now 11) as he now has a different surname to both his parents! She is refusing to change despite agreeing by txt in January! Where do I stand if I go to court will they side with me? Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 23/06/2017 at 2:13 pm
You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad, here.
Dolly29 21/06/2017 at 3:21 pm
My dad has booked a surprise holiday for the family, but my child's dad won't give permission to go as he wanted to take him in the next year or two, he's a aggressive guy An I don't know what to do, can he stop me from taking him away just through jealousy? As soon as I found out about it I told him, he doesn't pay maintenance An we don't have set days through out the holidays. Can you help please
SeparatedDads Editor 19/06/2017 at 3:15 pm
Your only option is to apply to court for a Specific Issue Order. However, whether there would be time for this to be heard in court is another matter. You would have to seek legal advice.
Gumbear1221 18/06/2017 at 7:06 pm
Hi there me and my family had an agreement with my 3 girls mum to take them on holiday after a few years of asking.
Now she hasent paid a penny towards the passports i paid for them check and send and also the return of documents. We had a agreement for them to be send to my address but the passport office faild in following the cover letter we also had my ex sign. Now they have been deliverd to hers and now she is refusing to had them over passport office say this is now a civil matter we dont know wat to do weve booked to go away end of august. We just sicked she can do this the the girls.
SeparatedDads Editor 15/06/2017 at 11:16 am
If you have changed your child's name by Deed Poll then the name on his passport should always match his legal name. Therefore, you would have to change this, If you have not change your son's name officially via Deed Poll, you would have to request permission from your son's father directly. If he refuses, then you would have to apply for a Specific Issue Order through the courts. The courts are likely to allow you to change your son's names for reasons of family uniformity and if he has been using your name for a significant period of time i.e through school/GP etc.
Ka 13/06/2017 at 3:28 pm
I'm in the process of trying to change my sons name on his passport. My sons father has never bothered with my son since 6 months old my son is 7 nearly 8. My son was taken critically ill back in 2011 and the father was told to come and say goodbye as they thought my son wouldn't make it through the night. But he never came in. My son has never had a birthday card or Christmas present. To cut a long story short my son is better off without him, there's a few issues iv had like stealing money from my child which I had saved to take him away no contact etc... I changed my sons name by deed poll 3 years ago so at school etc he has my surname. However his passport is in his fathers surname. I recently took my son on a family holiday with my partners family we got stopped at the airport and was asked 101 questions it was very intimidating, my son now thinks he has done something wrong and is very upset over it. Can I apply for a persific issue order myself? Would the courts allow me to change my sons name. Thanks
SeparatedDads Editor 12/06/2017 at 2:25 pm
Mediation should help you be able to come to an agreement. However, if mediation fails and you still wish to move away you would have to apply through court. A court is unlikely to stop you from moving if you allow reasonable terms for access. At any point if you wish to move you would have to have the father's permission. Unless your ex agrees to putting something in writing that would allow you to move away in the future, you would have to apply to court under a Specific Issue Order. However, the court will only deal with issues that affect you currently, not ones that are speculative.
Dyffy 10/06/2017 at 7:30 pm
Hi in the early stage of divorce. Nothing been agreed yet regarding 10 years old daughter. Background: he left in feb 2016 he lived in a flat but never had daughter there for a night stay. He used to come every day to see her. Then he moved in a rented 3 bed house with new partner. His 19 years old son has one bedroom so is her 24 years old daughter. So again no room for our child to stay overnight. Been separated 15 months so far and daughter never stay one night. he sees her 9 hrs a week. 3hrs on Tuesday and Thursday and 3 hrs on sundays. His choice. I have always said he is welcome to see her any time or extra time as long as i have noticed. He hasnt took me up on that. For extra time it a hr before pick her up or when he pick her up which put me in a position were i have to say no as plan have already been made for him to say i stop him seeing his daughter or i have to cancel my plans so he can have her a bit longer or daughter is there and feel like she has to choose between mum and dad. Which it's not fair . Where we lives neither of us has familly. He is happy in his new life which is fine but i got no support here. I have been offered by his brother and sis in law to move near them. True enough school are better . I will have ok his family but they will support me. Our daughter will get to see uncle and aunts and cousins more often. And the eurostar is close by so easier commute for me and my family to travel to and from france. So more interaction with her french family. And the houses are much cheaper so i should be able to buy and have a mortgage in my name but not if i stay here. How should i proceed if i want to go through with the move? I will never stop him seeing his daughter. As j have proved that. He finish at 1 on fridays so even if we were to move 2.5 hrs away he would be there for when school funish. Or meet half way. And i could have her back on sunday evening. That also give him more hrs with child in one weekend than he does in 2 weeks. Can he stop me? When going throught mediation can i ask to have it in the paper that if in the future i want ti move somewhere else in england he wont stop me??
fana 23/05/2017 at 7:07 pm
HI i wanted to know i have two autistic children father left when i was pregnent with my second child he came in a picture when he had immgrition issues he ask for contact in court due to children condition my children can not talk a word they are not aware of any danger on roads they can not dress or undress and they are still in nappies and they are more other problems with my boys father only have one hour contact under my supervison as the section 7 report said in 2014 now he ask me for boys passports and my and i refused so i end up in court again now he wants both boys for overnight stays and he want to take them out my ex lives with his brother in luton and some members of that family were arrested in attend to murdur of two year old child and the child died i am worried what will happen in court i have all the doctors letters about my boys condition and letter saying no overnight stays my kids are 7 and 6 but brains are 2 and 3 i am so worried about them the application father has but all the facts are incorrect can some one tell me what can be happen in my case he dont have any contact with my older child due to him getting stress and its really had to seperate him from me now school notice when ever my little one come back from contact he gets really cross and bit other kids and he hits his self.
Abbriori 12/05/2017 at 12:03 pm
Hi there, I split up with my ex 4 years ago.. we somehow (not without arguments) managed to get through the last 4 years and arranged childcare without courts. He has done a lot wrong and i didnt walk out just coz i felt like it. he didnt pay rent, has other major issues etc. He had her for 2 xmases and last year i had her. Logically i want her for 2 xmases as well, after which we will go back to normal 1 xmas each. i boked a holiday away for xmas and he is now saying he will stop her going. I am already thinking to get a mediator involved and if we cant agree we will go to court as its plenty of time till then. however in 12 days we are going away for another holiday that he has agreed to and said its ok for us to go. Now my worry is he will create drama just to be spiteful to me and we will be stopped at the boarder. Can he do so in 12 days?.. the last thing i need is to get to the airport with all the bags packed and be turned away.. thanks for your help.
Mcgorey 08/05/2017 at 7:32 pm
Me and my partner split up about 1 month ago after living together for 7 years.
We have a 7year old and a 1year old together.
This has been so hard for me as been used to seeing my children every day. We had a holiday booked together for June this year where her parents are also booked to go with us. As it's her parents place.
I have now been told that obviously I can't go now we are split but they are all still going.
This is a 2 week holiday leaving early Sunday morning coming home early on a Sunday morning. With my work I can only have my children on weekends so this will mean that I won't see them for 4 weeks.
I have asked my partner to change the flights to only go for 1 week as I feel 2 weeks is to long but she has refused.
Can I stop her from going for 2 weeks?
I can't cope with the thought of not seeing my children for 4 weeks.
Anything I can do?
SeparatedDads Editor 08/05/2017 at 2:23 pm
You must get the permission of everyone with parental responsibility for a child or from a court before taking the child abroad, please see gov.uk which
Sabrina93 07/05/2017 at 10:06 pm
Iv booked a holiday for June with my two children my friend and her one child. The children father is saying he won't consent to going on holiday for a week because he doesn't trust il be able to look after them on, saying it will be dangerous taking them without him and he wants to go on a family holiday which wouldn't work becuase we don't get on and he is very unpredictable. He is on one of the children's birth cert but not the other child. I have the children living with me and he has one of the children three times a week at maximum. Is there anything I can do without going to court as the holiday is 5 weeks away, does just being on the birth cert give him parental responsibility
SeparatedDads Editor 12/04/2017 at 10:40 am
Unless you are in a relationship with your children's father and he agreed to apply to sponsor you or your children to come to the UK, then you have no way of applying to live in the UK, unless you apply for a visa independently (such as a working visa). Also, the rules of applying for family dependents to come to the UK are very strict and are dependent upon very particular requirements, please see gov.uk link here which explains all. On another note, a court will never force a non-resident parent to see their children if the parent does not want to have links with their children.
Lou 11/04/2017 at 12:25 pm
I would like to find what rights I have as a mom. I have two sons whom their father refuses to skype, call, or have any contact whatsoever. He was banned from South Africa where I currently reside with the boys and he has gone back home to live in the UK where he was born and raised. I have asked if he would sign consent for me to move to uk with the boys so that he could see them however he refuses and tells me my life is not in his country. Am I really trapped? Surely since he doesn't even live here I can go abroad?
Joe 03/04/2017 at 4:58 pm
The home Office have told me I need to get a Specific Issues Order to get my son a passport and I can't understand why as I have had parental responsibility and been the sole parent since 2012. His mum died in Dec 2015 and I am his only family.
I changed his surname in Sept 2016 as his mum did not put me on the original certificate.
I should have gone on holiday after I was offered the use of a Spanish villa from 1st April to 15th for free and couldn't go without his passport. It all makes no sense. I even contacted my MP but he couldn't do anything.
sutty72 09/02/2017 at 6:39 am
Hi recently found out from my children that they are moving away in the summer because I wasn't told by the mother wat was happening I was advised to apply for a prohibited steps order as it would severely effect my contact I dint drive and They will be an hour and half away basically told kids if I wanna see them I got to get them would applying for this order stop the initial move from happening
SeparatedDads Editor 18/01/2017 at 2:24 pm
If you pay child maintenance through the CMS you may be able to apply for a special expenses variation, I hope this helps.
Dan 14/01/2017 at 10:33 am
My ex partner has moved 150 miles away from where I live and is demanding I collect my three children every weekend and return them after two nights.im finding it hard financially to do this trip each week and fear that it may have to stop is there any legal help to make the travelling fairer and we share the trip?
Knight 31/12/2016 at 6:33 pm
My 13 yr old daughter always lived with her mum and she suddenly stopped me from seeing so I applied to a contact order and it was granted I got every other weekend etc this was in 2011. This year however my child came to live with me on her own accord. The mother called the police but as she didn't have a residency order and my daughter is 13 and spoke to the police on her own they said they have no concerns so she has been with me nearly a year now. My issue is her mother has her passport (I was not originally on her birth certificate but after court I am on it now) the mother won't give the passport and the passport won't let me apply for another as she has one. Is my only option to apply for a Specif Issues Order to make the mother hand it over? And if yes, I am concerned she will try and obtain a contact order whilst in court when I will have paid for court proceedings.
Danny 20/12/2016 at 4:12 pm
My daughters mother stops me from seeing my child when she want, every time she get a new partner she start acting up and all she threatens me with is I'm taking you to court, I do not work i'm on jobseekers allowance but trying to start my own company so money's not aways there but when I can't give her no money she start with your not seeing your child, she didn't involve me in anything to do with my daughters school she changes her school when she wants without consulting me plus I don't get to collect or bring my child to school ever when my daughter said to me she would like me to bring her to school one day a week, she plays these mind game and makes Fritz all the time what can I do and what are my rights ?
Betty 10/12/2016 at 3:29 pm
My ex moved 2 hours away last spring. According to a court order he sees the kids every other weekend. I want to move my daughter from a state school to a private one, bearing full responsibilitty for the costs myself. He's refusing to sign the form although it doesn't impact him. Our other child is in private school also at my cost. Is there any reason a judge could refuse to let me move her if she wants to go?
Lisa 03/12/2016 at 3:41 pm
Can a father stop the mother seeing the 6week old child the father took the baby as his ex slept with someone else
Sunil 03/11/2016 at 3:59 pm
My Ex won't allow me to meet my daughter. She is now 14. My daughter is under the influence of her mother which is a good thing but I am worried because my ex wife has recently got married and her partner doesn't have a permanent visa to stay in the U.K. My daughter is living with her step father and mother. I understand my ex wife's husband has only got married for a permanent visa and once he has got his British passport he will leave and go. My ex wife does not see this, fine that's her choice but why is she now influencing my daughter to not to come and visit me. I never knew my ex wife had got married and I understand she had the duty to tell me. My ex wife has changed her mobile number so I can't even contact her. I now live with my wife and daughter aged nine. I am a full time worker and I am able to support my children. Please advice me what should I do?
SeparatedDads Editor 05/10/2016 at 12:46 pm
You would have to either suggest mediation to your ex, or if she refuses take the matter to court in order to pursue this issue.
Nige 04/10/2016 at 6:04 pm
My ex is denying me collecting my son from nursery which is 100 yards from my house once during the week. She will only allow me to see him once a week. I have parental responsibility and he has my surname.
edward 02/09/2016 at 11:02 am
My x stopped me from seeing my son after regular contact then it's been yes you can see him then no you can't all because she has a new partner,my son is 14 months old and I need to see him as it's killing me ,what can I do?
Jue 29/08/2016 at 9:44 am
My son is not longer with his partner due to no fault of his own. He has his daughter ever weekend one wk fri to mon and tge following sun overnight. He wants to go away for a week but his ex has said she will stop him seeing his daughter alt all because he's putting a holiday before her. Could you please advise whether he has a right to have one week off in a year. I have offered to have her but it's not good enough.
Melody 19/08/2016 at 9:33 pm
My partners ex is refusing us to take the children abroad next year for 10 nights as she is saying she fears the children are not safe with us although she let us take them to Blackpool for 4 nights this year. If she deemed us not safe would she not let us take them anywhere. We went to court for access last year and have them 2 nights a week it says holidays to be arranged between you. Would court allow us to have a family holiday as she is the most awkward woman I have ever met and won't let us be a family as then manipulates the children
Cas25 26/07/2016 at 8:37 pm
My partner of 10years has a 14 year old daughter who we see every other weekend. We travel 150 miles round trip to see her for one day as her mum will not allow her to stay overnight. Access has been restricted for years due to ex's controlling ways. Daughter wants to come on holiday with us and our daughter (her sister) and my son but ex refuses saying she is not ready, too young to look after herself! Daughter is a mature teenager but scared to stand up to mum as she says her mother is stubborn and just argues with her about it. What can we do to resolve this? Ex is not acting in her child's best interests and we feel we are not supporting daughter's wishes by doing nothing. Advice greatly appreciated.
Chelle 11/07/2016 at 3:16 pm
My partners ex walked out on him after 17 years they were married and have a 4yr old girl since splitting they have had a divorce but the mum decided to move 125miles away with the daughter enrolling her in a school and not telling him until a week before they were moving he use to have her every weekend and Tuesday his time has now been cut down to every other weekend and has to drive 125 miles to pick her up and take her home. He pays maintenance for her but the mum keeps taking her on holidays for 2/3 weeks at a time and not giving notice that he has to go a month not seeing her can anyone please help
Andy 11/07/2016 at 9:08 am
I am divorced with my 4 year old's dad. He only shows up once in a bluemoon and doesn't pay child maintainance. I want to take my child to live with my parents abroad for about 4 years as I want to go back to university. How do I go on about this?
AM 01/07/2016 at 2:02 pm
Hi, Me and my ex wife are separating under 5 yrs of separation. I have been supporting her though this entire period with monthly child maintenance payments, as well as paying for holidays with my sons and other misc expenses. She left the UK over 5 yrs ago as she wasn't happy with my financial abilities as she comes from a wealthy family and wanted to live with her parents to benefit from their higher standard of living. I have been granted a NISI by the courts in the UK but she has now put in a request for a financial order which i will be attending the hearing for shortly. my questions are
- she is requesting alimony in addition to the maintenance. Do i have any grounds for contesting the alimony ?
Ash 12/06/2016 at 7:04 am
Hi my ex partner has been very unstable in he's life and has been in and out of my little girls life , I tried mediation but he never showed , now he's moved out of the country to be with he's new gf . He keeps asking me if he can have her for a holiday but I just don't know how I feel about this ? Any advice
SeparatedDads Editor 31/05/2016 at 10:22 am
Please see link: What Happens If My Ex Keeps the Children Without My Consent? here. If you have safeguarding issues you should contact Social Services asap if you feel your child is in danger. However, keeping your child without the other parent's consent is always a tricky issue, therefore I should seek legal advice if you are considering doing this. As specified in the article, if you can show that your former partner is not able or appropriate to look after your child, you may be able to get an order stating that the children should live with you. However you will need to evidence this. If you don't have evidence or your evidence is weak then going to these extreme measures can backfire on you as if your ex has your child returned to her, then future trust and access issues towards you can be affected. Therefore, this is why legal advice is needed to ensure you are approaching the situation in the correct manner.
Daddyrocks 30/05/2016 at 2:57 am
Hi. I don't want to take my 2 year old girl back to her mother. I fear for her safeguarding. Me and the mother are still married but separated.
Can I refuse to take her home and what will I have to do legally from there or if my question fails
SeparatedDads Editor 05/04/2016 at 11:45 am
Under Section 7 of the 1996 education act, parents are responsible for ensuring that their children receive an education suitable to their age ability and aptitude, as well as any special needs your children may have. The following home-schooling rules apply in England and Wales:
You do not need the permission of an LEA to home educate a child (unless the child attends a special needs school), you do not have to hold any particular qualifications to home educate your child, there are no predetermined hours or times that you must tutor your child at home, you do not have to conform to the National Curriculum, and home educated children are not required to undertake examinations or SATs. It all seems much too easy doesn't it - and is a set-up for children to fall through the net. Therefore, if you have PR and are concerned, as suggested in the article you would have to either raise the matter to your ex informally by suggesting mediation, or take the matter to court via a Specific Issue Order.
SeparatedDads Editor 04/04/2016 at 11:22 am
Yes, your partner should suggest mediation in the first instance and if his ex refuses then he should apply directly to the courts. Please see link: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, here and go through the motions laid out in the article. He may wish to begin with a letter requesting more access and/or mediation in order to try and sort the situation out. If your partner has parental responsibility then his ex will need to ask his consent to move from the UK with his child. However, if your partner is concerned his ex may leave the country with his child and without his consent, then he can apply for a Prohibited Steps Order along with an access order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. This is more common in cases where there is suspicion that one parent may leave the area with their children. There is no guarantee the order will be issued, but if it is, failure to comply with this order is a criminal offence (often charged as kidnapping) and could result in a custodial sentence. I hope this helps.
Raisenberries 04/04/2016 at 11:04 am
My ex is currently home schooling my 7 year old son and 5 year old daughter against my will. I have tried to go through the local council to prove that they are not receiving an adequate education, but to no avail. I have tried to discuss this with my ex partner but she insists that home schooling works for them. All I can see is my two kids barely being able to read and write and not getting the social time with other children that they need. I know I have a 50% say in this but how do I exercise it??
Thanks,
Ben
Flipper 03/04/2016 at 8:23 am
Hi All
I am the partner of a man who's ex is extremely controlling. She won't let him see his 4 year old son without her there. I appreciate the fact that she doesn't want him coming to our house, especially if I am there as he's young and it could be confusing, I find it horrendous that he has no time with his son alone so they can properly build a bond! He can only see his son one day a week, at her convenience, I have told him to go to mediation, is this the right thing to do? If he tries to get more time or take him out alone, she threatens to call the police. She used to live in Greece & his fear is that she'll move there again.
SeparatedDads Editor 16/03/2016 at 12:20 pm
This really only can be a matter for the courts to decide, which I am afraid is impossible to predict.
MrChe 15/03/2016 at 7:44 pm
I have two children with the same woman with whom I am now separated. Both children now have different surnames based on her carrying out threats to change my daughters name at registration stage without my consent (we separated when she was 7 months pregnant)
I do, however, have full PR for both children and am currently looking to have both my
childrens names the same as each others. I had a lawyer reach out to my childrens mother and she ignored it knowing she had done wrong. I have also sought mediation and they have deemed the case exempt from mediation and to progress to court straight away

My queries are around whether this is a common issue with seperated women trying to spite the father by changing the babys surnme and my likelihood of having this changed to reflect the babys older brothers surname.

I might also add that the surname she chose for my daughter is not even her (the mothers) birth name, rather that of her step father.
For consistency and a sense of belonging, I thought it important for her to name the children the same as they will be the ones growing up together and there are no answers to the reasons behind this choice without telling lies. I have a contatc order to see my children too having gone months with her witholding them from me and am confident that I will be a permanent fixture in their lives, much to the mothers dismay. In this sense, should then not have their fathers name and not that of a stranger?
SeparatedDads Editor 12/02/2016 at 12:29 pm
It a big problem in separated families and one that sees the courts full every spring and summer with parents applying for a Specific Issue Order through the courts, so they can obtain permission to take their child/children on holiday. I'm afraid as specified in the article, this is your only route when your ex will not give consent.Please also be aware that as the courts are busy, and it takes time to be heard, so you need to apply in good time.
brentona 11/02/2016 at 7:57 pm
Me and my ex partner have been separated for nearly 4 years now and seeing my son has never been an issue i have him every weekend and sometimes during the week. Since i have met someone else she has started to be very awkward towards me and is no refusing to let me take my son on holiday with my current partner and my family. I have asked her politely and told her what is happening but she has said in these exact words "I have his documents and i can say you have taken him out of the country without my permission". And from what i am reading on other websites even though my name is on the birth certificate i still have to get her permission to do this and to me this is stupid. Has anyone else had this problem or can offer me some advice???
SeparatedDads Editor 09/02/2016 at 2:51 pm
Please see link: Can I Get a Background Check On Ex's New Partner? here. I hope this tells you all you need to know.
Buzza 06/02/2016 at 1:26 pm
Hi there is it possible to get a background check on my ex partners new boyfriend, I have 2 children who live with me but see their mum now and again, recently I have had a phone call of social services saying they would advise me not to let my children see their mother while her new partner is around as they say he is a danger to them yet when asked if they could inform what the dangers were they said they could not say, is there anyway I could find out what his background is regarding children I have also since found out he is not allowed to even see his own children
SeparatedDads Editor 26/01/2016 at 12:05 pm
Your only options are to either suggest mediation to try to put a halt to your ex changing your arrangements with your daughter. If your ex refuses mediation, your only option would be to take the matter to court. Should it go to court then if you are awarded a contact order, the arrangement is official and should your ex renege on the arrangement, then you will be able to have the order enforced.
Gucci 25/01/2016 at 5:31 pm
I have a ten your old daughter who lives with her mother my name is on her birth certificate. My ex of 8 yrs now always takes my daughter away on holidays and Christmas time I have never had her she takes full control and with me not being so stable in the past she as taken advantage of the matter. Now my life has changed dramatically I am more financial stable stable roof over my head and she does not like that and keeps changing days when I'm supposed to see my daughter.
SeparatedDads Editor 25/01/2016 at 10:25 am
Yes, However, before you spend money on the court order, you would have to have a good reason to persuade the court to change your child's name. Regardless of whether you have parental responsibility or are named on the birth certificate, it really is up to the primary carer to choose the name the child goes under when registering it at birth. The courts will make a decision based upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your child, and it may decide there is no reason to change your child's name if the mother does not wish it. The reasons for changing your child's name to yours would have to far outweigh the reasons for leaving it as it is.
Fayce 24/01/2016 at 2:57 am
Hi,
I have a 4 yrs old son who lives with his mum and has her surname. I am planning to apply to the court to change his surname (I am aiming for a double barreled surname) so I was wondering if I have to apply for a Specific Issue Order by filling out a C100 application form to request for the surname change?
Also, his mum is changing her surname soon to her partner's surname and I am a bit worried that if the court accepts to change our son's current surname (as a double barreled surname), it would be "her partner's surname - my surname". Is there a chance that the court goes for this choice/decision? or Is it more likely that the court decides to change my son's current surname to a double barreled surname reflecting both biological parents identity which would be "his mum maiden name - my surname"?
Thanks in advance for your feedback.
SeparatedDads Editor 21/01/2016 at 2:24 pm
You would have to take the advice from the article and apply for a Specific Issue Order. You will need to apply to the courts in good time pre-holiday.
ParentX 21/01/2016 at 8:59 am
I am divorced and have parental responsibility for my two boys and they are with with me 50% of the time and we have had numerous domestic holidays. I now want to take my children to Spain this Summer with my new partner and her daughter but my ex wife refuses to make the boys passports available to me. I can therefore not book or plan a holiday which effects me and my partner and is upsetting for my boys who have made it clear they would like to go on holiday with me. My ex has given no reason for not making the passports available.

What options do I have to obtain the passports?
SeparatedDads Editor 19/01/2016 at 11:13 am
I am afraid this is impossible to predict. The mediator will try and facilitate an agreement between you and your ex. However, if your ex does not agree then you will be forced to apply for a Specific Issue Order, and as suggested in the article Cafcass will then get involved to write a report to present to the courts. The Cafcass officer report will aim to settle matters before the final hearing happens and it is quite rare for a judge to find against the recommendations made in the report.
Martin 18/01/2016 at 12:27 pm
Hello

I have PR for my son who I wish to take abroad to Turkey on a family package holiday for a week in June 2016. I play a full and active role in his upbringing since birth and me and my partner have been separated 2 years now with no legal orders or arrangements in place.

I have written to his mother (recorded delivery) to gain written consent but she is refusing (not in writing so far) to consent to him going abroad. He is currently 2 years old and will be a month of three at the time of the holiday.

Her reason for not giving consent is that she 'feels uncomfortable' with him going abroad, a statement that she wont expand on.

I have provided details of the hotel, location, flights, dates etc. I have agreed contact with my son during this period.

I am currently looking at attending an MIAM meeting to try and reach an agreement but I was wondering, if it has to go to the court to gain consent:-

Would I be likely to get consent from a court for holiday of this nature?
Is it possible to get such consent by June?
Or is no a no?

Kind regards
Martin
bobble 15/01/2016 at 6:45 pm
My ex is refusing to use name ordered by court in a specific issue order (surname) what advice would you offer as she is in contempt of court, thanks in advance
SeparatedDads Editor 11/01/2016 at 12:34 pm
I'm afraid we cannot speculate whether a judge would give you this permission. The court will look at both sides of the case from you and your ex and decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child.
lg 10/01/2016 at 11:21 am
Hi.i have a 4 yr old daughter with my ex husband. He is a good dad to her seeing her Wednesday night and she stays overnight in his 2bed flat every weekend. No child support from the dad though. I want to move to the US to be with my husband and start a new life with him together with my 4 yr old and our Soon to be baby girl due in April and be a full time mum for them. Both UK and US would offer our daughter a stable home and good school. The only advantage I can think of in the UK would be that her grandparents on both sides are in the UK and free NHS. I want to know if I have a great chance to take my daughter with me abroad by the judge?
Ryzo 05/01/2016 at 7:22 pm
Hi, myself and my partner (never married) have recently split up due to arguing constantly for a long time, we have 2 children who are still very young.
I own a house solely in my name although my partner was earning money at the time so she contributed towards the deposit along with help from family.
She has since moved out of the house with the kids and awaiting a council property, i asked her to stay in the house and i would live elsewhere until she sorted a place for her and the kids, does she have any rights when it comes to the house? i am the sole provider for the house and have been since we bought it just over a year ago, she has been looking after the kids, i can't afford to keep the house going for them and get a place myself that is just not possible.
SeparatedDads Editor 05/01/2016 at 2:50 pm
You can apply to court for a Specific Issue Order, You would need to apply well in good time of the holiday, as cases can take a while to come to court.
Bubble 05/01/2016 at 12:24 pm
Hi, I & my ex partner have a child together who is 5. Our son loves both of us. He stays with me most of time. His father does come to see him only when he wants to not when our son needs him. My son is calling his father since New Year but no reply from him. I never ever stop his father seeing our son but he is taking it too lenient. It's really heartbreaking for our son. Don't know what to do? I am planning to go on holidays but I need his father's consent letter which seems impossible to get as his father is not interested to answer. I am really stuck. Please advise what can I do?
Advice needed 30/12/2015 at 10:16 pm
Specific issue order in place stipulating that I pay child maintained be until my son turns 18. My son is currently 16 and has removed himself from his mothers care. Can I stop payments or what do I need to do?
SeparatedDads Editor 21/12/2015 at 2:58 pm
You can apply through the courts for a child arrangements order/residency order, If going back to live with his mother would mean your son changing schools and moving out of the area, although not guaranteed, you stand a good chance of being awarded a residency order, especially if you have been caring for your son for some time. The courts will usually only change the current residency of a child, if it thinks it is in your child's best interests. The courts value consistency and stability which you have obviously given your son. You don't say how old your son is either. If he is over the age of 11, his opinion and preference regarding where he wishes to live will also be taken into consideration. I hope this helps.
Az 20/12/2015 at 2:17 pm
Me and my ex wife divorced 3 years ago. We had a son during our marriage. Initially on separation she decided my son would live with her. After 6 months she suddenly went off the rails and decided she couldn't cope. My son then came and lived with me and he has up to the present day. My ex wife very rarely saw him and didn't offer any financial support. All of a sudden she has now started seeing him every other week and has told me she wants him back. Where do I stand on this as I do not want to let him go? I have brought him up, he is happy at both home and school.
SeparatedDads Editor 29/09/2015 at 11:56 am
I am sorry to hear this, it must be very upsetting for you. However, if you have parental responsibility, you are entitled to access, therefore please see our article: When Your Ex-Partner Denies You Access, whichI also suggest that you keep your distance from your ex, both physically and via emails, texts, so she cannot accuse you of harassing her. If for any reason, you cannot afford legal costs, you can self-litigate, Our Separated Dads Facebook page, may also offer comfort and advice, as you are not on your own. I hope this helps.
Jasper 28/09/2015 at 11:21 am
I separated from my wife and have had a torrid time. One minute I can see my children, the next I can't, then I can etc. My ex seems to enjoy the power she has. I last saw my children about 2 months ago, at my parents house. Following that my ex invited me to stay with them in Blackpool where she was taking the children however, after the hatred I had been shown and how uncomfortable I was about the fact that it was a family room and I would have to stay in the same room as my ex I declined the offer, not because I didn't want to see my children, but because of the circumstances. Anyway since then, all contact was stopped. I can't see them or phone them or anything. When I did contact her and her family members to ask if my children were ok, I had a call from the police stating that my ex had made a complaint about me texting and phoning and that I was not to contact them at all!!! I don't know what to do. I know my ex will be manipulating their minds and saying that daddy doesn't want to see you and doesn't live you and there is nothing I can do about that. They are aged 7,4&2 and it's breaking my heart. I do love them and desperately want to see them and just hear their voices but now she has a hold over me because of her contacting the police about harassment!!! It's so wrong. We had a great 10 years together and due to some past experiences I had an episode of depression which ruined our relationship. I kept a lot in instead of talking to my wife and the strings took its toll. We split up and I now find myself in this situation where I am banned from any contact. Please help me and advise me.
john 27/09/2015 at 4:09 pm
ok so me and my ex lived together in her house for 8 years. in this time we had a son (planned) who has now started school at will be 5 years old at christmas.
we never married but im on the birth cert and we had a great life together. holidays, camping trips etc.
last year i became down due to stress at work and as a result of this it became very rare we would be romantically involved ie once a month. this added to my depression. we were still happy though and carried on as normal until I had my regular fall out with the in-laws which spiralled out of control. I was requesting my keys to go home and sleep it off but the in-laws and my partner refused to give me my house keys.
after a while of arguing i decided to leave the restaurant and i went to the aunts house where my son was staying over and was greeted by being refused entry to the property as they had called ahead.
stupidly i took my son to his nans and and we both slept there for the night. i was called by my partner to find where we had gone. this was ok if not irrational but the in-laws insisted on my partner calling the police who arrived next morning to do a welfare check (all ok) hes my son after all.
based on this it upset my partner to the extent that added to the low vibe in the house she asked me to leave. our son started school that week and she wanted space while she thought things through. in that time of course i sent flowers to her work and begged for her to let me come home. also asked just to speak to our son as i missed him.
all the requests went un-answered. after a week she let me speak to him.
we arranged a talk but it was simply her letting me know it was over and how much i needed to pay. it seems she spent all the time figuring out how to be on her own.
our son attends school opposite the house and i am sleeping on my mums floor miles away.
i requested access once a week alt sat and sun. this was refused. she offered once every other weekend. i refused until backing down recently.
she stated dads normally get the same access based on her mothers opinion(divorcee).
i am allowed to speak to him on a wednesday eve after work for 5 mins and now can only see him every other weekend as she has decided.
also if i call or txt she will do me for harassment.
she treats me as if i had cheated on her far too much anger not even wanting to sit down a discuss the issue or arrangements. im totally lost without my son.
i was thinking meditation or legal to force her to sort it out.
roni 12/09/2015 at 3:49 am
my son has a 16 month old and his wife left him and took the baby several months ago and keeps refusing to let him see his son.the grandparents have been allowed to see him only once in the last several months.if we allow our son to keep his son when we do get him can we get into trouble. there has been no divorce papers filed or custody papers filed.
SeparatedDads Editor 10/09/2015 at 9:56 am
If a partner or ex-partner accuses a person of domestic violence, when the person has in fact done nothing wrong, by the time the police are involved his ex will have already committed a criminal offence for which they could receive a prison sentence of up to six months. If they then go on to falsify evidence to the authorities – the police, social services etc – they are then perverting the course of justice. If the case actually gets to court, and he finds himself in the dock on trial for something he hasn't done, the accuser would in most circumstances have to give evidence in court. If they are still lying at this stage, they are committing perjury. These are all serious criminal offences for which his ex-partner could serve a long prison sentence. However, the courts are aware that some parents will try this angle in order to get full residency of the child. I can only suggest that in order to prevent this, your son, at all costs avoids putting himself in any situation where he can be falsely accused. If he is concerned he could also seek legal advice regarding what his options may be.
mo 09/09/2015 at 12:21 am
My sons ex has started going down the route of accusing him of abuse physical.drug. and emotional against her and now physical abuse against his 3yr old.
How does he nip this in the bud before she starts down the sexual abuse?
Are lie detector results acknowledged in court?
dave 05/09/2015 at 7:06 pm
my wife and I split 3 weeks ago as she said she wasn't happy a bit out of the blue but as the days went on I started seeing some things that were a bit suspect she started hanging about with a guy from her work and now 3 weeks later she says that there seeing each other. I found out that he has been round the family home when my 2 kids are in bed which in my eyes is not on its very disrespectful and irresponsible I have asked her not to bring him in the house when the kids are there and basically she said tough is there any way I can stop him from going in the house when the kids are there I don't care what they get up to but not when my children are there
lostson 30/08/2015 at 11:23 am
She left me 7months pregnant prior to everything I was at all the scans provided everything... worked hard bought everything.. her friend came for her and they left my home later we argued a little as we spoke about the baby this led her to completely block me from everywhere my son was due on the 8th August but I heard nothing I don't know nothing, I don't know what to do... I assume she put on birth cirtificate father unknown, she is very bad person I love my son but she's stolen him from me
Uffy 03/08/2015 at 4:52 pm
What kind of world do we live in when a ex can use your kid as a bargaining tool to get what they want. The laws do not care for the child but for the mothers. If they did care for the child they would hand the them over to the most responsible one out of the 2.
My ex lives on benefits married a guy recently who now lives in her house which is a council house rent free. I don't even know if he is registered as living there.
My daughter this week kissed both my cheeks when I ask who showed her that thinking it was her mother, she stated it was my ex's husband whos name i don't know nor can i understand from my daughter when she says his name. When i questioned my ex about it she accused me of being a syco and said i cant see my daughter any more. Do I not have the right to question anything that happens to my daughter who I care for more than my life. I'm am scared to bring social services in as they will take my child away. When will fathers have the right to be fathers and not have to sit and suffer in silence.
Can anyone actually help or should i give up now.
Scott 08/07/2015 at 2:05 pm
Single father of 11yr old boy, mother left when son was 5, has since broken all contact & chosen not to be contactable (i.e. has moved away & changed phone number) Mother has old expired passport,.
Passport office wont issue renewal until mother confirms passport lost? Where do i go from here, Do single mothers have to do this when dads disappear?
NowSingleMum 25/06/2015 at 12:35 am
Hi. I would like some advice. I have a beautiful two year old daughter with my now current ex partner.

We were never married and stupidly, we put down both of our surnames e.g James-Roberts on our daughters birth certificate and I was wondering if I could change it without his consent?

Also my daughter lives with me and her dad does get to see her twice a week for four hours...as I think is enough for now as she's only two years old and doesnt understand.
I don't really feel comfortable with him having her all day as he's never been alone with her...Ive been with her 24/7 whilst he goes on the xbox and drinks himself silly. But since we've broken up..he's all interested in our daughter.
Mayve 30/01/2015 at 7:28 pm
My son has a child arrangement order in place but his ex partner has refussed acces citing the use of the wrong sized nappies, not using ex food she sends and not dropping his son back on time- one of which are true. She has also listed the court about their childs health and dietery requirements as my son has a copy of his medical records. She has also refused mediation and has breached the arrangement order over at least 4 weeks.
My son has emailed the court asking for the next hearing date to be brought forward but had heard nothing, but today he learns that his ex has submitted a specific issue order in relation to her interpretation of events!

Will the court really consider this pettiness ignoring the fact that she has breached a court order and now intends wasting the courts time with things that could be resolved with mediation. Wil they also ignore the fact that she has lied to the court previously about the child's hesalth and dietary requirements.

Any advice welcome
TONITIGER 27/12/2014 at 12:00 am
My son is seperated from his girlfriend they have 2 kids both girls one is 4 the other one is 2 .My son and the mother had a agreement that they would not bring anyone into the girlrs life unless the situation was serious but the mother has brought a man into the girls life not lving up to the agreement and this man has a record dui retail theft messing with a meter reciving stolen property has been in jail and there is still a open case on him so does my son have the right to tell her that he dose not want his kids around a man like that ? and also the girl friend can go get her hair done and pay over 100 and she can go out to the bar drinking but she cant buy diapers for the baby and food for the kids she said her boy friend has to buy them food my son told her her friend dose not have to buy his kids any thing he can take care of his kids see she never called my son to tell him the baby didnt have diapers to me she is just showing sh cant take care of her kids and oh ya she has chose the man over her kids . My son has never chose anyone over his girls they come first in his lfe and she already told my son she dose not want the girls on New years eve so she can go out with her boy friend so help my son tell him what he has to do and isnt it bad for the mother to be acting this way one night the 4 year old fell down the steps my son called texed her she never got back to him till the next day thank god she wasnt hurt these are the things the mother is pulling
Smithy 05/12/2014 at 10:32 am
My ex wife of 14years has denied me access because i'm in a new relationship. Accused me of domestic violence and told schools that there is a non contact order. I have been battling with the schools to prove my innocence which is tough enough but i'm finnaly winning that one. She wanted to stop me having parents evenings and finding out how they are doing in school. I have recieved the court papers back 8-9 times over a year and 4 times in the past couple of months, each time they find the smallest thing that is wrong and send them back, you fix that, then there is something else not listed before. This is a disgusting and what the mother is doing is mental child abuse. I will win to see my kids, i may have failed at a relationship, but i haven't failed as a loving father. I have a petition if anyone wants to sign to change the family law court legal aid process, and also a website with my story and supporting groups. Thamk you for your time, and i feel your pain. Good luck..
SeparatedDads Editor 13/10/2014 at 3:03 pm
@sarahonbehlaf - your daughters' eyesight is a problem that is unlikely to go away, so perhaps you could speak to your ex and tell her the issue needs to be addressed. If the optician has threatened to report her, then she will at some point need to face up to the fact that her daughter needs to wear glasses for her own well-being and development.

At the same time once your child realises that she can see better with the glasses, then she'll be much more likely to want to wear them and will ask for them herself. Taking the glasses away from your daughter may be something that your ex can get away with doing in the short term, but once your daughter starts pre-school/school then she will become much more reliant upon them.

Perhaps you should suggest to your ex-girlfriend to go to the opticians and choose a pair of frames herself; ones that she likes, as there are so many trendy and attractive ones around these days, that it really needn't be an issue. Best of luck.
Sarah- on behalf of 12/10/2014 at 7:35 pm
My ex girlfriend and mother of my 2 year old takes her glasses off her when I hand her over at the end of my visiting time with my daughter as she says they are horrible and she dosent like them. I have my daughter every weekend without fail.
I took her to a reputable optician to have them made for her as she has really bad eyesight and a turn in her eye. And after my ex saying she had lost/broken them n numerous occasions.
My ex has been to a few hospital eye appointments with her and I have also attended, but has also missed a few too. The optician at one of these appointments even threatened to report her if she dosent keep all her appointments as it is really important for our daughter to wear them.
I think she can't deal with the fact that she has to wear glasses.
She openly says in frnt of our daughter that she looks stupid in them
Any advice would be great surely she can be made to put them on her? She wears them every weekend when she is with me and we rarely have any trouble getting her to wear them.
Been there, done tha 25/09/2014 at 3:21 pm
Hi AquariusUnfortunately with domestic violence, to be accused is to be guilty and even if you can prove beyond reasonable doubt (as I could) that she has knowingly and intentionally lied, the police don't want to know about her intentionally swearing a false oath (despite it being a crime) and she will not be punished in any way by the system even if you eventually prove she lied about everything - the system is completely broken and is currently in the process of being made much worse. Unfortunately the real victims of domestic violence are suffering as well, since these liars waste limited police and legal resources and will continue to do so while there is no deterent for lying. The only things you can do are: - get onto your local member of parliment and push him hard to make the police enforce the law and seek changes to punish the obvious liars.- always have a witness with you whenever you are in her presence - I know this is impossible, but I always carried an MP3 in my pocket and (without her knowledge) recorded every handover. It didn't record her too well, but every word I said was recorded, so when she said I abused her & the kids during handover I could prove it was not true. It cost me $30,000 to see the kids again, but she had to drop the DVO (cost her $36,000 - she had to totally change her story when she found out about the recordings).A Family report from an independant Family report writer (paid for by both of you, expect to pay $1 to $2000 each) can be very useful, but go in very prepared with arguements to justify why you should have any time with the kids and with what evidence you have regarding the domestic violence issue (particularly the violence against you in front of the kids). A family report is pretty essential when going into court as many judges will follow its recommendations pretty much word for word in parenting orders.
nearlythere 06/08/2014 at 2:09 pm
mark. I was in more or less the same position as you albeit in scotland. the law slightly differs but not much. in my case I got a solicitor asking for in anyones eyes reasonable access. no reason other vindictiveness, ex refused. took her to court who seen very quickly her hatred for me was her consideration and not the childs best interest. sol letter initially to her is sometimes enough to be official enough to make her behave reasonably and agree access and if not court is your only option yourself or solicitor. I
bunny Editor 06/08/2014 at 11:19 am
@mark, unfortunately mate I think your next step is going to be court. You can make an application to court without a solicitor using the c100 form. You can then represent yourself throughout the process. For more info have a look around this site or go on their facebook page as there are many dads on there who have been through this already and can offer you some advice.
mark 05/08/2014 at 7:41 pm
My ex is continually being difficult in relation to access to, my son. I'm at a loss what to do.
He's six years old and needs to spend quality time with me. Mediation failed as her demands are unreasonable and she fails to understand that I have a legal right to spend time with my son. What is the next step?
Armani 21/07/2014 at 1:48 am
My mum and dad recently split up they have not had a divorce or anything but my dad has told me he has put a block on my little brothers
passport to stop him traveling and we have a holiday booked for next week my mum has had no letters or heard anything about him doing this is he lieing to scare us or could he have done this?
Em 10/06/2014 at 4:50 pm
Hi. Myself and ex-partner split up Jan of 2014. He has had contact nearly every weekend since we split. He has medical issues which makes him angry at times. He's also been abusive and violent towards me which makes me un-easy him having our children who are now 5 & 4 years.
I would like him to co-operate more with weekends. But now he's proving difficult saying his time is Friday to Sunday. I have my best interests at heart and is upsetting at times. My my children come home and tell me that their father hasn't given them breakfast or changed there underwear for 2days. How can I sort this in an amicable way without it affecting my two beautiful children. We was never married. And I have residency of the children! Please help and advise on what I need to do? Thanks. Emma
jon 10/06/2014 at 12:53 pm
HI

I was wondering what can I do. me and my girlfriend have spilt before our daughter was born but I was there through out. but now things are not great between and I am only allowed to see my daughter when she say so. which mean that can be 1 day or a few hours. and when I do see my daughter I have to stay at the house where my ex lives I cant even take her swimming or parks.
peter 29/04/2014 at 10:04 pm
A revisit to court after the original order stated that the child's mother could take him to Kuwait for 5 years, for various reasons. No wealthfare concerns on either side. His mother wanted to extend the order for a further 5 years. CAFCASS did a report recommending it be revisited after 18 months to 2 years. The child concerned expressed that he wanted to live in the uk with his father (he is 12 years old). The judgement (yet to come through) ruled against the CAFCASS recommendations and allowed the mother full jurisdiction over him with visitations rights. We were not legal represented (thinking it would be madness when the child is pleading to live with his father although stating he was not unhappy in Kuwait) The judge (Dodds, Liverpool) did not give a reason why he was ruling against CAFCASS, his general demeanour was 'children should be seen and not heard' and his summing up was speedy, leaving confusion (he seemed to totally agree with the mother that private education is the right way, including boarding school) so until we receive the order we are unsure what it will says with the exception of the child remaining in Kuwait against his will. I have no reserve that i have told to whole true and that of my son, however, (In my opinion Judge Dodds was full of his own importance but what do I know he stated that I was just 'joiner') Questioned things in court but given his manner I was made to think I was just wasting h is time. Your comments would be gratefully received
sonia 26/02/2014 at 7:44 pm
My husband has carevof our daughter im living with them if I leave him my daughter stays with him how can I go with my daughter as not happy with husband as not getting on
Irene 19/02/2014 at 9:48 am
My partner's 15yr old son wants to come to Spain with us this year, just for a week, but the mother is refusing to give her permission. Both have parental responsibility but the kids live with the mother, there is no residence order is in place that we are aware, as the only paperwork relating to the kids from the divorce is the Statement of arrangements, which she never signed.

So does he need a specific order to take his own son on holiday?
Jay 15/02/2014 at 11:25 am
Ok, my ex wife of 2 years has recently told me that she will be taking our two young girls (14 and 11) from their home in London to Gambia on a 2 week holiday in July this year. She will not tell me who else will be traveling with them, or even where or who they will be staying with. I do not want them to go and I am worried that she does not have the money to keep them safe whilst they are there. I am very worried about this and really would like some advice. Thank you.
pat 06/01/2014 at 6:16 pm
My son a court order can have his daughter for week away mother refuse to give passport to take her abroad but her the husband can take her he think her names been changed on passport what he do to get passport to take her abroad
Cliff 22/12/2013 at 9:06 am
Hi

I have a three year old daughter and my ex-partner is making it difficult for me to see her. In particular she is making it difficult for me to take her on holiday. Do I have a legal right to see my daughter for half of all the school holidays?

Your help would be greatly appreciated

Thank you

Cliff
clee 23/11/2013 at 10:38 am
My ex wife and I have been separated for 3.5 years, she left me and took our 2 Children. I tried to get residency for the boys but failed and only have visitation rights and they stay with me every weekend from Friday after school to Monday morning.
In this time she has moved the boys from school to school, the oldest boy has attended 3 separate schools and the youngest 2 separate schools.

She has now informed me that she is moving house within the next couple of weeks and moving the boys into new schools about 15miles from where they live now.

Is it too late for me to try to stop her from switching the boys schools.
My boys are 11 and 9 years old and this is going to be another upheaval for them.

Can I make a Specific Issue order at this late stage and if so what advice can you give me.

Thank you

Paul
pleso 13/09/2013 at 6:11 pm
I got with this women three years ago she left her husband to get with me she had four boys to him she got caught pregnant be me so we got our own place life felt so good but she was finding it so I told her to go back home is was her kids house we had our little girl 2010 she went back to her husband 2012 now she as stop me seeing my baine cos it will messed her family life up now I have all so found out she as put her husband on my little girls births papers been to a lawyer she did not reply to the been to a meditation dud not turn up now I no she won't turn up for court can I all so get her done for fraud for putting her husband on my baines birth papers
purpleflower 02/05/2013 at 9:55 am
Me ex took me to court. I never stoped him from seeing his daughter me and my husband were getting ready for our new arrival and planned to change my daughters school to be closer to our home he took me to court and caffcas didnt agree with the move even though I will be putting our new arrival into a closer school they stopped us from moving away from the catchment area well if anything we had to move closer to the school. I basically cannot sneeze without him taking me to court so for people to say the courts are in FAVOUR of the mothers is WRONG as my ex had everything go in his favour. I have done nothing wrong he saw his child wen he wanted to chose the school made sure I couldnt move and yet doesnt pay his way. makes me angry the family courts and any child agency no interest in the welfare of the child just who they can make an example out of.
none 09/09/2012 at 9:30 pm
I have found cafcass staff to be rude and patronising. They dont listen to you and are not understanding to your personal situation. They also do not listen and tend to have incorrect information.
nigeldodd 05/06/2011 at 5:47 pm
Unfortunately the consequence of this article being written by a lawyer means that statements such as "As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question." are made when in reality the prejudice and ignorance of the judge can be the main determinants of the judgement. The judge may not be aware of the benefits to a child of a rich relationship with both parents, for instance, and may therefore make a judgement that is far from the best interests of the child. He may not bother to seek advice or the advice he receives from, for instance, Cafcass, may be equally misguided.

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