What to do when your ex stops you seeing your children
Being told you cannot see your children is one of the hardest things a separated parent can face. Whether the refusal comes suddenly or follows months of tension, the effect is the same: you are cut off, often without warning or clear reason.
This situation affects fathers across the UK every day, regardless of how involved they were before separation. The legal framework in England and Wales, primarily under the Children Act 1989, supports children having relationships with both parents where it is safe and in the child's best interests. The child's welfare is the paramount consideration in any court decision. You are not without options.
Why contact gets refused
Understanding why your ex is blocking contact helps you decide how to respond. The reasons vary, and sometimes the stated reason is not the real one:
- Anger or hurt from the relationship breakdown, where contact becomes something to control
- Genuine concerns about the child's safety or wellbeing, which may or may not be based on real events
- A new partner complicating existing arrangements
- Practical changes like moving area, making previous schedules harder to maintain
- Disputes about money or property bleeding into contact arrangements
- Mistrust built up over time, whether justified or not
Some reasons are understandable even if the response is not. Others are about control or punishment. Where concerns are exaggerated or invented, the law expects children to maintain relationships with both parents.
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When contact is first refused, how you respond matters. Reacting with anger, even if understandable, usually makes things worse. Courts look at how both parents have behaved, and staying calm works in your favour.
Put your request for contact in writing: text, email or letter. Keep it simple and focused on the children. Propose specific, reasonable arrangements including days, times, and pickup locations. Avoid accusations or rehashing old arguments. Save all messages and responses as potential evidence.
If direct communication fails entirely, consider indirect contact while you pursue other options: letters, cards, video calls or messages through a trusted third party. Maintaining some connection, even if limited, can be valuable.
The next step is usually mediation. Before applying to court for a child arrangements order, you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). A trained mediator explains how mediation works and assesses whether it might help. Exceptions exist for cases involving domestic abuse, child protection concerns, or urgent situations.
Mediation helps both parents discuss arrangements and try to reach agreement without court. It does not always work, particularly if one parent refuses to engage, but it is quicker and cheaper than proceedings. Find an accredited mediator through the Family Mediation Council.
Applying to court
If mediation fails or is unsuitable, apply to the family court for a child arrangements order using Form C100, available on GOV.UK. There is a court fee, though you may qualify for help if you are on a low income or receiving certain benefits. Check current fees and eligibility on GOV.UK.
The court process can take several months. Straightforward cases may resolve within three or four months. Complex cases, particularly those involving allegations of harm, take longer.
Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) is involved in most cases. A Cafcass officer carries out safeguarding checks and may speak to both parents. Depending on the child's age and maturity, their wishes may be considered. Courts decide based on what is in the child's best interests. There is no automatic presumption that mothers should have the children or that fathers should only see them at weekends.
If the court makes an order and your ex still refuses to comply, you can apply back to court and demonstrate the breach. The court can impose unpaid work requirements, order compensation for missed contact, or in serious cases consider transferring residence.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Dealing with allegations
Sometimes contact is refused because your ex makes allegations about your behaviour: domestic abuse, substance misuse, mental health concerns or risks to the children. False or exaggerated allegations can occur, sometimes to delay proceedings or influence how the court views you.
If allegations are made, Cafcass will carry out checks. The court may order a fact-finding hearing. You will have opportunity to respond and present your own evidence. Where there are genuine concerns, courts may order supervised contact while matters are investigated, allowing you to maintain a relationship in a setting that addresses safety worries.
Do not ignore allegations or assume they will disappear. Respond through proper channels and consider legal advice if the situation is complex.
Getting help and support
Dealing with denied contact is stressful. Looking after yourself helps you stay focused on what matters.
You do not necessarily need a solicitor for a child arrangements application. Many fathers represent themselves successfully. However, legal advice helps if there are allegations or complexity. Some solicitors offer fixed fee initial consultations. Legal aid may be available in cases involving domestic abuse or child protection: check whether you qualify.
If you cannot afford a solicitor, a McKenzie Friend can support you in court without acting as your legal representative. Citizens Advice provides general guidance on the court process. Families Need Fathers offers support groups, both online and in person, where you can get practical tips and emotional support from others who have been through similar situations.
Stay focused on your children. The process can be slow and frustrating, but courts make orders for contact every day. Most fathers who pursue this through proper channels do eventually get time with their children established.
We have had one court meeting online where the judge said he was not willing to take into account ‘tit for tat’ that the case was about my 7 now 8 yr old daughter.
He asked for a section 7 report that my partner requested and said he wanted contact to resume via a contact centre to start with and told my partner there was years ahead of us and we needed to ‘get along’
I admitted smoking Cannabis and was told in no uncertain terms I had to do something about it, I was already seeing a drug counsellor and have successfully come off Cannabis and feel much better for it.
I had an interview with a ‘young’ social worker in May who was going to set up supervised contact but reported to me my daughter who her mother says suffers with anxiety and I believe she is blaming me doesn’t want to see me. The social worker suggested a telephone call I waited for half an hour but realised it wasn’t going to happen,then she suggested letter writing which is difficult as I am dyslexic but we have done this the past 6/7 weeks as social worker been Ill and missed few sessions. After 2 court cancellations we now go to court next week and I should receive section 7 report tomorrow but still haven’t seen my daughter, any idea what the judge could rule in these circumstances?
Any advice help would be helpful I’mvery nervous about Tuesdays meeting.
I'm struggling with all this I'm in court process and I just don't understand what is going on as my wife left in October last year has stopped me from seeing the children unless it's on her terms,
She has not done anything for the courts never turned up at court in April, but still thinks everything might work out.
But won't attend mediation I'm just ver confused
She has now cut off virtually all access to the father. She and her lawyer are even ignoring requests from his lawyer to mediate. Court papers will be lodged tomorrow. We have had to do fundraising for this.
The court will find in his favour, as there are no issues, apart from her bad behaviour. What happens if she still doesn't comply? Many thanks.
Set up Mediation I doubt my wife will attend so probably Court makes you laugh that these to poisoness creatures my wife's mother & her best friend spend time alone having them in there care & sleepovers as my Twins are a similar age to her best friend daughter but my wife accepts they bad mouth me in public but she insists on supervised visits? Covering herself saying it's what the children wanted, The Kids want to see me now on my own but because i told her something about them 2 she has no control over what they say she blocked my contact with the kids you can't make this up..sorry for how long the story was a lot has happened in 6 months hopefully I get to spend my quality time with my Kids alone without my wife trying to control the situation.
It deeply saddens me to say that the judicial system stinks and also cafcass are absolutely appalling
My ex partner has made up evil lies around two and a half months after our separation in order to try and stop me from seeing my two beautiful children
And it’s worked
My elder child who is 13 years of age is desperate to tell the powers that be how it really is and everyone’s just pushing her aside
She wants to have her voice heard to try and help put things right
My youngest who by the way was my shadow hasn’t seen me properly now for 3 birthdays over the last 2 years
I think the whole system stinks
It’s just a money making scam taking advantage of desperate dads
Anyhow there’s far more than the above
Just wanted to give you all a snippet of my thoughts on the archaic system and the evil mothers that are out there
Thanks for listening
Egghead69
My question is does she have any legal standing on this or is this just yet another vindictive attack against me, please help
He sometimes dose not contact me for days at a time sometimes he ignores my calls and messages or blocks my number
When he comes round to see my baby he won’t feed her changer her make any bottles clean her clothes basically doesn’t do much for her ...
He now dose not want contact with me anymore and that’s fine I have offered for him to continue to come round and see her after work he works from 10am-6pm , 5 days a week he now tells me he won’t see our daughter because he dose not want to come round to my house so he’s going to take me to court , I have offered for him to have contact and he has denied it every time
Will he even make it to Court ?
She always used children to get money off me
I am in new relationships and my new partner love and care for my kids
My ex wife now says I have to chose between seeing my children or leave my new partner
My son has split from his ex partner which was not a pleasant break. My son is in another relationship now.
However his ex won’t let him see is baby boy now which has been for over 8 weeks.
He has tried many times to make contact see his baby boy but the ex has simply said you can only see him if you come to my house and stay.
As he is in a relationship he doesn’t feel comfortable doing this. All he want to do is have his baby boy with him. If only for the day. His boy is nearly 2 years old now, so it’s not down to anything like breast feeding etc.
Is there any advise I can share with him please.
Many thanks
I read all the stories n i scared to go to court.So my story goes as we got married at 2016 n bought a house togheter.(Guess what i was paying every bills/mortgage).in 2018 she asked her sister to move to us for a few month till she found a place on her own.So i agree as few mnth not a biggie.in 2019 our son born n thats where the hell started.She was chking my phone/broke to my FB pick pocketing me,Checking thru all my pockets literally had no life only wrk sleep (if she let me) n had to stand all her negativ comment.She was choked me hit me slap me 3 occasion when i reached the tipping point n left...ran to my friend(i hide it so she did not know) as my family over 2500 miles away.literally she abused me over the yrs as i had no family rnd i was the perfect victim.Long story short she not let me sleep my 21 mnth old over my rent which is 25min walk from our house She refuse to buy me out n she only let me see my son at our family home n only till she wrks.if i not act as she wish she picking arguments.My family NEVER see our kid only hers but her family is the same country as mine.She refuse contact whit our children see my SIS or cousines our my father.im really lost ATM.ive got legal aid ATM as we recived UC when i left so i already sent her 3 letter via Solicitor but so far she only anwser the 2nd one n all she did in it was Mud throwing on me.im wrried to go to court as im only getting about 15 grand a yr whit full time job.i could not cover costs not to mention i have to represent myself in a diffrent country court system which is scary as hell but for my son i would do but just simply cannot live like that to wait when she will act out of the blue.When she will took our son away.She already picked Nursery whitout consulting me.. i did not knew till she told me he is in that nursery...Well any advice would be great as im clear whit my rights but lost to what would be the best step not to rip myself n my son future for a life.
Thank in advance.
Yours sincerely
Fely Kear
My wife then reduced my contact to every other weekend without an agreement, refuses to drop them off or pick them up. I work 9 am to 5.30pm, kids have to be in school 8.20 and 8.40.
I don't have a car and there is no direct bus to the schools so it is impossible for me to get kids to school and me to work on time. I have now said I can no longer to Monday mornings so will bring kids back Sunday night after evening meal.
She has now said she is going to refuse me access because I have changed the agreement.
She has a car, has no job and only lives around 5 miles away yet refuses to come and get them on the Monday morning. The question is, can she do that? and what would a courts decision be about the Monday morning issue if we were to go down that route?
Now that we have a child she uses my daughter against me when she has a psychotic episode she will take her out my hands physically and prevent me coming near her and if I do she starts shouting in front of my daughter which I hate her having to see.
I really want to leave her but I know what she is capable of and the UK courts always favour the mother, she will prevent me from seeing her by making up excuses saying shes going out somewhere and saying bad things about me to my daughter as she gets older to turn her against me
He has children with her he give her money for them he's even got shopping for them but that not good enough she s constantly phoning him morning noon and night shes thumped him kick him Iv seen it for myself his phone is on fire with her phoning him. She's using the children as weppons if she doesn't get what she wants she gets the children to go through is phone to see who is on and who's he seeing shes even broken is relationships up with the lies her house is a mess the children or very idle and leve thing anywhere I know she's asked im for money for a bills but got a tatoo with it he as bent backwards to help but she makes out that he doesn't do anything.
I'VE been in the house my god I'd rather ther live on a tip hes even took her out for the day just to help but thats not good enough.
Allway on the want I've even spooken to social services but they or no bothered they everything ok the way thay live in if would have been a man looking after the children it would not be good enough wy do they treat men different to women what's rong with equal rights or doesn't it matter for the men.
Allso she tride to stab him the police as been out to see her about this incident but the abuse still goes on hes scared of not seeing his children he keeps quite about it what elsie can he do.
It's rong how men or treated in this situation no wonder men take there lives when treated like this
She said the reason she lied was because she figured he wouldn’t want to be with her if he knew she was married.
She also said that her husband had just been sentenced to 3 years in prison when they first met met and my brother was so sweet and served as a nice distraction while her husband was locked up.
She said the reason she’s finally telling him the truth is because her husband is being released from prison soon and he has forgiven her for cheating and has decided they will raise the baby together.
She told my brother he could hold his daughter for exactly 5 minutes but would have to leave the hospital afterwards, it was so sad.
He tried to establish his rights but apparently men have no rights to their children when the woman is already married. He tried to have his name put on the birth certificate but in the state of Texas if a woman is married the husband is presumed to be the child’s father so his request was denied.
He then filed child support on himself and had a petition for paternity drawn up but the mother had it dismissed. He consulted several lawyers and they all say the same thing: that there’s nothing that can be done because she is the custodial parent and her husband is the father of record.
Her husband is now out of jail and he posts pictures on Facebook with my niece like she’s his daughter. So sickening.
This is my brother’s only child and unfortunately the law doesn’t allow him any recourse to have a relationship with his daughter because she was already married.
Now she won't let me see or talk to them.
Its crushing me.
Do I have any rights to them?
I have none... because of the C19.
Is there any financial help.
Thanks
I have been seeing my kids every 2 weeks and been paying for hotels to spend time with with them for a year and a half now.
Also I have been paying for the house every month for the same time frame.
Now my divorce and court order has take affect I have told me ex she will no longer get this money only child benefit, which was on the court order.
So since cv19 she has said she is in lock down and I can't see kids because she doesn't want children to get ill.
Also on top of that she has now said as I'm not paying all this extra money to her she is no letter me contact kids.
This is putting slot of stress on me and new partner.
My ex has no respect for me and says child maintenance does not cover child care, also says I should continue to pay for the house as our kids live there.
I really don't know what to do next
I am looking for some advice, I am divorced from my ex and part of that was the custody agreement for my son which my ex has broken several times.
Since Covid-19 started becoming an issue I’ve not been able to see my son since the beginning of March. And now she has stopped all communication with him between myself and my parents.
I have got in touch with my lawyer but haven’t had a response from her yet.
What can I do to see my son? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
How do I ensure some contact with my boy? Just to know his Dad has called is healthy for him.
At this moment my partner is not let me see her as much as I would like to see her she just want to take money off me
But not let me see her
Dear All
I would like to take my ex wife to the court because she has blocked me to see my daughter. I have been paid CSA AND CHILD MAINTENANCE since she was born to now. I have been tried different solutions but it didn’t work out. I had enough now for this situation. I want to move on
I did mediation (alone) , Supervised access and then access was stopped when ex decided it was enough..
Have had so many games played... That it just hurts now... The little blighters deserve a fathers input...
When my son is with me he is happy calm and absolutely loves being with me and his older siblings
His older brother is in the Royal Navy and my 8 year old lives and breathes him also he has a sister 24 and a brother 10 . And I’m also remarried 6 years now and in safe solid loving relationship in which my son loves being apart of and he revels in this
So going from a constant figure in my sons life to now with the threat of not seeing my son concerns me and she should not being doing this as it would put a massive strain on my sons wellbeing and his anxiety at a such young age .
She is now threatening me of not seeing my son
But I have concerns of her mental state and you cannot have an opinion and if you do she closes everything . It’s her way or no way
I have an massive insight and knowledge of autism and because of my calm nature I am able to calm my son when there is a meltdown and I’m the only one who can do this with him . The school always phones me in regards of my sons good performance when he is staying with me but then when he is with his mother it’s another story .
I have tried to speak to his mother on how to manage and she cuts me dead and says it’s my fault .
There is more and I will end up writing a book
What can I do .. ?
I want to go for full custody but because she is a professional in her job ( mental health ) she comes up with all these medical terms and the reasons why and try’s to discredit me , it’s going to be very hard to go up against her .
Any advice out there
Everytime when he have his trun to have kids he makes excuses that he can't look after kids.
What do I do in that case.
Kids stay with me and usally we agreed kids can go to there dad every weekend .
Hes only 18 and shes 20something. Hes been abit of a problem teenager (as most are) social services as involved. They have been to court today and the cafcas as refused them to see the child. Not even in a contact centre. No DNA has even been done to confirm he is actually the father.(so maybe all this stress maybe for nothing. Why wouldn't they get that in place before any of this happened?
Cant afford a solicitor either . Hes onv not on the north certificate. Just trying to find out if there is any other road to go down even just to get a DNA test for starters ?? TIA x
They are so heart broken they are a loving family but hes just been penalised for having some issues mentally (like most of the other citizens of the world)
Does anyone have any experiences or advice in relation to what happens when contact is re instigated or how long it can take? Or if his ex actually can control who he lives with while his son is in his care?
Thanks for any help!!!
I will try and keep you all updated.
My ex won't tell me where my son lives.
do I have the right as his father with shared parental responsibility no where he resides.
He split with his GF 3 weeks ago and has only seen his daughter once since then. 2 weeks ago out of the blue he found out that she had been advised to not talk to him or let him see his daughter. Advised by who we don't know, he has taken advice from a solicitor and has arranged mediation.
Is there anything else he can do as he can't find out how his daughter is.
My ex suddenly stopped me seeing my son 2 years ago. I've never missed a payment for him and tried everything including emails phone turn up at door. Get others to try talk to her. All rejected or blocked. She now has a new husband and 2 more kids I myself have now 2 more kids but cant afford court or know what to do. I literally feel like I've got no help and support to try see my son. She doesn't like me and that's her reason and then tried to tell my family member that our son suffers stress being o ly 7 is in her eyes down to me. I'm running out of ideas and it's not helping with my current state and joy
I simply have an arrangement to see my children every fortnight (Sat-Mon) which I stick to without fail. However, my ex feels she can amend this whenever it suites her. This was put in place in Feb2019. So there have been approx 13 weekends when they should have been with me. On 6 of those occasions she has changed the arrangement, resorting in me not seeing my children. Therefore going a month without seeing them. As I said, it is nothing in comparison, I have read some comments where men have gone months without access, some where they see them regularly but more like a baby sitter than a father. Regardless, it feels there is very little to support fathers in these situations.
My partner is being harassed for extra money every month even tho he pays CSA on time every month.
He gets abusive messages calls etc if we don't have the money.
We have offered to take his child out to shop for extra bits for her but no the mum wants it in her bank account,we don't trust she is using the money for the child.
My partner works so hard for his family and getting this thrown at him every month is soul destroying.
We don't earn a lot of money ourselves.
The guilt is setting in for him and scared she will stop contact.
I've told him he should just ignore her messages but is hard.
He has his child every other weekend and holidays.
He buys her new clothes and shoes all the time.
And gives her pocket money.
He can't block mum on phone as needs to stay in contact incase of emergencies.
Do we just keep ignoring the messages? We are very confused and stuck on what to do.
Thanks
The law is neither fair or equal and men are at a massive disadvantage when it comes to family law, it is the law that needs changing, not simply making applications through the courts after the fact, all that does is make it appear the broken system is actually working for all, it isn't.
Pressure your MP's and do not allow yourselves to be used as a blank cheque book/ sperm donor by unscrupulous women, some of whom use this as a lifestyle choice.
I had custody of my son however I was informed by the CSA some years ago it wasn't really there for men to claim against women, unbelievable really, I was working so it made little difference to me however I was a believer that parents should contribute. She visited rarely and never helped with childcare between my shifts, our son was 4 years old at the time.
Roll on 7 years, she became interested when he was big enough not to need care and she wanted him with her, he went as he was old enough to make that decision, I was hit with the CSA threat within weeks despite never having any contributions from her for years, that's women for you. My son became a latch key kid left to his own devices from 7am until 8pm during the week and I couldn't do a thing about it.
If the child is old enough to make a decision, ie around the age of 12, it is pretty pointless fighting it so don't waste your time, my ex threw money at him to get him there and then threw my money at him via the monthly handouts once he was living with her.
As I said, there is a lot of inequity, the system needs changing, this is where your efforts should be aimed.
Ultimately all you men who think you can’t see them again unless you are drug addicts, alcoholics or have criminal records that are recent then you should fight for access because your child will never forgive you for walking away and taking the path of least resistance. Us women want to control things and it’s not right where a child is concerned it’s highly proven children with both parents have less issues in later life. Do not give up
I was forced to go into sheltered housing so she can keep the house.
I have a child with the devil it seems, she is only happy to let me see my child when I make her feel like I’m interested in her or when myself & my partner of 5 years are on a break. The mother has many different partners around my child, has verbally attack my partners child & physically attacked my partner twice. Now I haven’t seen my child for about 2 months. Previously it’s happened for a year. She has poisoned my child against my partner also. I don’t have a job atm tongue transitioning into another trade but what can I do? Financially I’m not capable to pay for court
My partner (on his behalf as he doesn't use a computer) has just been in court for the second hearing trying to get access to his child. His ex partner did not turn up. She's continually asked for supervised contact centre access but when the judge suggested it at the last hearing, she refused because the closest contact centre is too far away and she's not a good driver, apparently (there are bus routes and train routes from where she lives).
What happens if she continues to deny access in a contact centre? Does it mean he just won't be able to see his child again?
My boyfriend is in prison (nothing child related, not great but I need to be honest to get the correct advice). His ex had previously let the children visit him once a month with their nan. His eldest (13) made contact with me and wanted to meet me. I contacted her mum to make sure it was ok she reluctantly agreed. Me and daughter get on great and she has told me all the awful (lies) things that have been said in front of her and her sister (aged 7) now the little one isn’t allowed to speak to her dad on the phone or visit her dad. I have requested that we all meet up so youngest can get to know us all with her mum there (who has threatened me with violence on numerous occasions) and she initially agrees then just doesn’t answer the phone. I don’t want to involve the eldest so I don’t mention it to her I just want to know if their dad has any rights to see his youngest as he’s missing her so much :(
381 days ago I came home to an empty house. My wife had taken the kids and disappeared. I've spent a year going through court and now have the right to access but she is refusing to let me unless its supervised as she feels I am incapable of looking after them. Although I love looking after them and regularly have my niece as I like going out and doing things with her!
Anyway, I arrived for contact last week and the agency I was using hadn't told either of us that it had been cancelled. So she let me have the first video call from them in months. The children are always asking after me and shower me with 'I love you's on the phone. Now I am stuck at square one again. I am not allowed to contact her as she has a non-molestation in regards to me. I just want to see my daughters and shes making it difficult.
She could quite easily let me see them but shes making me drag myself through contact centres. Even during the final hearing the judge said he sees no reason why I can't see them.
I have never been violent towards my ex partner or my children but she says I am intimidating and shes worried I want to run away with them!
I can't do that I love where I live and my job and friends and family!
During my first CAFCASS meeting I agreed to the children living with her as she is a wonderful mum who always puts the children first. Right now all I want to do is see them as its been so long!
Any help would be greatly appreciated, I will pay with beer!
I have a problem, I have a daughter and she is one year old. My problem is my girlfriend's mother doesn't allow me to see my daughter because am still a student and I didn't pay any damages, but I do maintain my daughter.so I don't know what to do and I can not afford to loose my baby, I love her with all my heart, pls her me
At the time of the separation they even had my son's school deny me access which they had no right to do. My son is 11 now and i have not seen him since he was around 3.
We are not in a good place with my partner’s ex regarding seeing their son so you have my utmost sympathy.
I split from my husband 3 years ago, he’s not paid child maintenance even though there is a court order in place. He hasn’t seen our children since June last.
The relationship was fine until he got another woman pregnant and is lying to everyone as to why our marriage failed.
He keeps threatening me with a *access* order in hope I will stop trying to get maintenance from him, but he doesn’t seem to understand that I believe children have the right to have a relationship with both parents. I only stopped him seeing his children because he told me he got sectioned under the mental health act, and he even said he hated me more then he loved his children.
Men can be just as bad as women.
I split from my husband 3 years ago, he’s not paid child maintenance even though there is a court order in place. He hasn’t seen our children since June last.
The relationship was fine until he got another woman pregnant and is lying to everyone as to why our marriage failed.
He keeps threatening me with a maintenance order in hope I will stop trying to get maintenance from him, but he doesn’t seem to understand that I believe children have the right to have a relationship with both parents. I only stopped him seeing his children because he told me he got sectioned under the mental health act, and he even said he hated me more then he loved his children.
Men can be just as bad as women.
I’ve made evryway possible to speak to my Ex but she refuses me to see her.
Before everyone says take her back to court. It’s not as black and white as that.
In order to go back to court you have to pay for the privilege
I simpley can’t affors it.
Not only that
The last time this went to court I was a litigating person and the court wasn’t interested in anything I had to say and took all my ex’s lies and believed her because she had a Solicitor
I’m literally banging my head of a brick wall.
Any ideas and I don’t mean well the law says this etc as in the Big Wide World it actually doesn’t work like that
It is just a way for the ex to get involvement of the police and get a non molestation order. Very important.
Go straight for mediation and if there is no joy get a signature form required for c100 child arrangement order. Bide your time and think positively as you can as it is incredibly paralysing.
I have had my own story to tell with 3 rounds of mediation and 3 court hearings and an enforcement order. Please feel free to ask me any questions as I want to help others in this situation. Look after yourselves.
Since July I don’t see my 2 kids, 13 years and 5 years.
They want spend time with me but my X doesn’t let my kids come with me. I pay my child maintenance every month. And I got my rights. I live with my partner now, and my kids want spend time with us and my X doesn’t let my kids come and visit me.
Anyone knows who could help me in this situation. Thanks so much for reading this.
Me and childs mother broke up ia bit 6 month ago. ..since then I've had regular consistent contact 2 days a week and I'm paying regular maintenance but now all of the sudden mother has stopped all content phone calls contact in general with me and my family..
Her words are its best if I don't contact my daughter ever again. . And now has had a police conjunction against me going near propaty and no phone contact either. ..
The mother background is horrifying from having her first child taken away from her when she was younger and on the drugs she have had a police record for number of different violent offences and so does each member of her family have a police record. ..
I have no record I'm a working man who pays for his child. ..
Basically tell me if I got a chance of either having the chance to have my child full time custody or at least joint custody and please advise me what steps to take as I am lost and going out of my mind thinking I've most my baby for ever.
I'm an idiot
I now have no access, my X says the children do not want to see me, I can't see them, I can't communicate with them, they have now blocked me completely.
I feel lost, helpless and frustrated that my love for my children has just been taken away because of someone who simply is angry and bitter.
Your comments would be appreciated to someone who feels completely lost.
I am starting the ball rolling in completing a C100 court application to arrange for me to see my daughter and have my name on the birth certificate. My question is until the court date comes through, should I block all contact from my ex? She will not be civil and my ex refused mediation and keeps making threats etc re moving abroad etc.
Has anyone else had a similar situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated,
Lee
I admire your courage & commitment.
What you need to understand you can't win anything against a woman in court. They all play the helpless women. Make up lied about you. There are tons of help places for them to turn too. Your find 90% of these women before or after the court room are vindictive nasty..think of the worst names you could say.. multiple by 10 and we are getting close to the truth how they really are. The district judge always sides with the woman. You will always be the.. because of..
If you give reasons your petty..
It's a woman's world in the UK.
Remember the saying.. A women scorned.. it's true.
Don't let it distroy you.. Your life is important too.
Let it go. Walk away.
I got so stressed out I had a heartattack.. And was in hospital. She knew. Took me to court while in hospital.
I couldn't attend anything.. Even meet Caffcass.
She got a no contact order 10 years ago. I come out of hospital to a court order. Don't know what, where my child lives or is.
Just the CSA now CSM bastard's trying to get money.. Who won't tell me nothing.
I can tell you a lot more.. make your hair stand on end.. Then probably get a do good response of some one saying I need to pay the CSA etc,etc.. let's put it this way..
How would you feel when you're mother died..
Good now you understand. Well mine did. Left me money. She banked the cheque in the joint account. Arranged an overdraft..
Emptied the account.. and in the red.. Who do they come too.. exactly. So she isn't short of a few quid..
Good luck if you choose to fight on.
I'm out.. staying out..
I want quite
We had a good split no problems even though she cheated and left me.
However I’ve been dating a old friend and been together for quite a while she has two younger children and my step son has been rude, called them names and hit them and some other things it’s been on going for months I’ve tried everything to sort and deal with it and told my ex all the problems it’s got to a stage that I now can’t have him at her house, my ex has now said she will stop me having my daughter if I don’t take him.
And even said she will call the school to stop me collect her.
Can this happen?
What can I do?
I have paid another court hearing to try to see my child more but solicitor I have says not to say anything in court to keep quiet as this is first stage but next hearing after this one will be final should I be interrupting the court to tell the judge about all the lies I have lots of evidence. my ex says im a very bad dad and have not been responsible enough all the time this is just lies so any advise guys with next hearing soon/
At the present time am only allowed to see my children once every other week. Now, my ex knows that I get paid per hour, meaning the less I work, the less money I get to survive and pay for everything. When I have access to my children on my weekend, I can only pick them up on Saturday morning, because I cannot skip work as I please. She recently started working. So she is demanding me to pay for the after schools hours because am not being able to collect them that day. Also she is demanding me to pick them up once or twice a week from school so she can have a break too. And make sure they have been feed beforehand. Until recently we have been arguing about this. But now she is saying that if don't do all this, I better don't bother to come to see them coz she's not gonna allow me to do so. And forget holidays also. What can I do. Is she right? By the way, we have 3 children together and I even give away to her my rights to the flat we both paid. Also I pay child maintenance, buy them clothes, take them for holidays, etc...And I work as a waiter...so imaging my salary at the nd of the month.any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks
Thanks
Im still going through a divorce, after agreeing mutual seperation we agreed regular visitation.
After 2 months my ex wife was in a relationship and advised regular visits werent suitable. In the past 3 months a new partner moved in and they were expecting a child, despite repeated requests she refuses I should meet my daughters step father.
Having after 18 months finalised finances I the following weekend received an email from her saying social services were investigating unusual behaviour she then switched off her phone and left our 7 year old 200 miles away with her mother.
Social services were quick to confirm they had dismissed her sickening claims I was abusing our daughter, and managed to get her to agree some contact.
After the 400 mile round trip and assurances they would keep in contact she and her family have again broken all contact. The social worker has advised a court order may be necessary as my ex wife is ignoring their advice, my concern is the damage to the relationship with my daughter that months without contact would cause. Do I have any other options?
shes been beging me not to let her go now he put me in court claiming i deny him access bcz i did not force her to go with him
what do i do???
You will get to see your kid best thing to do is walk away keep paying your child maintenance and try to rebuild your live and hope one day your kids will come and find you
Thanks
We have 6 children together( although our son oscar passed away from got death at 6 months old 4 years ago). I am currently being denied any access to the children from her and just dont know where to turn.
At first she allowed me to see the kids a couple days a week but due to herself getting into a lot of trouble with the police, which she blames myself as its acts of violence towards myself and freinds of mine she has decided the best way to get back at me is to stop me seeing or speaking to them.
Shes extremely manipulative and has managed to convince everyone close to her that I dont want ananything to do my children and that I'm some sort of monster that was abusive towards her and that shes too scared for the kids safety around me ect. Therefore trying to talk to her is impossible and no chance to mediate things at all.
She is now threatening to leave the area with the kids and change there surnames so I will never find them.... although I think this unlikely still distressing to hear.
Going through the courts seems to be my only option but although I work full time financially things are very tight so don't know how to afford it all. I'm still giving her money plus my own rent and bills living very tight.
If anyone can help or point me in the right direction would be great. Thanks. Jay.
She is a very nasty, bitter and spiteful person and has managed to convince the courts all her lies are true leaving him still with no access, not even supervised visits. Where is the justice? How is this best for the child? Every child should have the right to 2 parents shouldn't they??
He is desperate to meet his child and have regular contact but he is getting nowhere, just costing him thousands of pounds and getting nothing.
He has to pay maintenance which he accepts as it's his child too but how is it fair she can take his money and deny access.
What are his actual rights??
I’m now in a new relationship and my stepson is constantly having issues with her children she doesn’t want him around them as he has hit out and told people they are horrible children
My ex says if he doesn’t go to her house my daughter isn’t allowed either
Can she stop me seeeing my daughter??
Which I my weekend to see my kids
My wonderful ex has now decided it’s not convenient
I tried medication but she is not having any of it, I have the opp. Now to go to court but worried what I can do if my son doesn’t want to see me, it’s due to his fear of his mother, it’s causing me a lot of anxiety and stress as I have another partner and we have a 6 month old son and it’s causing me a lot of stress, what are my chances in court?
She is now claiming that my relationship has deteriorated with my child in her last letter from her solicitor. However, when I requested to have my child literally a month and a half ago there was no mention of this and she happily asked times and dates. Me and my child exchange numerous messages daily lately and facetime contact lasts an average 1 hour 30 minutes weekly. My solicitor is now suggesting because we want a variation in the court order the original order cannot be enforced and my time with my child should possibly be built up slowly.
My partner has already been to court over 18 months ago regarding visitation which resulted in a court order where he has visitation every other weekend Friday pm - Sunday pm. She now won't respond to calls / texts for further information. The relationship between my partner and his ex is not positive, with little communication between the two. She as recently moved into a large housing complex and won't tell my partner the house number, we just have to wait on the car park when we collect his son.
We're not sure what we should do or who we should speak to about this, as we have no idea why she is accusing my partner of something.
How long do I wait for her reply ?
I have a contact order in place but my ex is refusing to bring the children to our handover place this upcoming Saturday.
I have heard that it is best to restate that I will be there to pick them up, but call the police for an incident number to record the event, if she does not attend.
Is that advice still valid?
She’s offered me supervised visits with her mother there but I’m not happy about this as I’m no threat to them. She’s just concerned I say something to my children, since I’ve left I’ve begged her to sort a solid plan before I apply for a divorce which she has refused. I’m currently living with family in another part of the country and I’m concerned if I go through solicitors I won’t be able to see them for months. I would like to go down meditation but again I’m worried she won’t go and she’ll let it go to court just in a hope I’ll back down
I wondered if anyone has had a similar situation, or if you would know where to start with this? As we can’t send registered letters/arrange mediation without knowing where they both are.
Thank you.
I suppose I am writing for some feedback in relation to this situation and to see if anyone has had any experience of this
My wife left on 28th November with my 6-year-old son. After that, I was able to see him only 4 times. Now she broke all contacts (I don't know what pleasure these women get by doing so). I am unable to see or talk to my son. I do not have her phone number and she is not answering any calls from our mutual friends. I have submitted a form c100 along with form c4 to find whereabouts of my son. The court sent a request to DWP on 19th February. I have been checking with the court. Till date, there is no response from the DWP to court. Please advise as I am getting very upset and agitated. I am so angry inside that I am planning to pay fees to a tracing agent to find my wife once I get an address then I will go and catch her there. I know I am not thinking right way but I am very much frustrated about this. I want to see my son. Please advise. Many thanx.
( A good man )and I know in her (heart she wants to redeem her self )she committed adultery with family members had a drug problem neglected her own kids and there wish’s to live with me .i know she will do the right thing and bring the kids to me because I know deep down she is a good person with a heart of gold.she can bring for boyfriend and not feel uncomfortable.
I'm struggling to get access to see my boys. I've been through a court but I had to end that due to my x using it to turn my boys against me. I do not want them to be hurt so stopping it was my only option. She agreed that she would help bring the boys closer to me but 10 months on things are worse. I've asked her to go to mediation but she refuses. She blames me for all that has happened and won't make any effort to mend things. I see my youngest on a Monday for 2 hours and rarely see other 2 boys. I don't want to go back to court but I'm beginning to think I have no other option . Can anyone advise
i have been struggling to get access to my little girl now for over 6 month since we broke up on her terms and she found a new chap. ever since this has happened i have been denied contact between my daughter, no call or text since and i dont know where she is any more, i dont know where to turn to. i tried mediation but she would not turn up and she has moved out sine then. how or which way do i turn as cheap as possible when i have no support and really struggling. me and my daughter had the most amazing bound and feel all has been ripped away.
My son's dad has been in prison, while he had our boy overnight, he committed arson on a car garage he felt ripped him off, he left our boy with his step mum while he did thus but was arrested while our boy slept. I got a call from step mum in morning she can't get him to school and explained what happened. Of course I was angry.
Son has been going to step mum's still every Wednesday and Sunday and every other Saturday like he did while dad was there. Step mum is leaving my ex.
Now sentencing is next week and ex is convinced he will be out due to "ptsd" and his disability, he was disabled while he did this (physical). I haven't taken son to see him as I honestly don't want my child in a prison, plus he is autistic and has spd which effects him in places where he would have to be touched and there are alarms ECT so there's no chance we'd get him in bed kick off that much. Plus I don't know who's sat on the next table. He hasn't had any letters of his dad, but spike to him on the phone a few times.
Now my ex thinks when he gets out he is having son over night, I'm not 100% happy about this. For a few reasons.
1) he did this while son was in his care.
2) when he was arrested they looked around and found him growing weed in a house our boy was in!
3) this isn't the first time son has gone months without seeing his dad, 2 times his dad just disappeared with no word and no explanation when he came back. Still to this day I have no idea why or what happened.
4) I asked my son if he wanted to see his dad in prison, we called it police hotel to him as he's so innocent I didn't want to scare him, he said "no I'm ok."
I thought we could build this all up again, he sees him during the day Sunday and after school on Wednesday then his step mum will pick him up for over night. This will take a few months for my son to settle into due to the autism. Then after that we try one over night a week, but I know my ex, with out son's step mum there he won't pick him up, as it was her that reminded him and told him what was happening and when.
Which is another thing, while son was with his dad and step mum it was step mum that did all the care as in her words his dad would get frustrated. So she did it All, wake ups (he wakes in night 2 times for toileting), changing, bathing, meal times, medication everything. Even while I was with his dad I did it all so I felt very comfortable knowing his step mum lives him enough to be a 2nd mum to him.
So sorry thus has gone on a bit but I am so torn, I know my son needs his daddy, and I badly want him to have a dad that puts him first and is there for everything, but I also need to protect my son's mental state and I can't help but worry about how this is going to pan out. It makes me cry thinking about it all. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.
I become a father in early 2010 but by mid 2010 the relationship was no more. Between myself and my ex we sorted contact and all was good until later 2010 when she dumped my little one on me saying she couldn’t cope. Then a few days later wanted us to get back together but when I said no, she hit me with a residency order which I lost even though my little one was born in the town I lived in and where mother had dumped my little one. So now fast forward 16 court hearings and trying to do all she can to have me completely out of my little ones life, we ended up where by her legal aid finished and I had every holiday and half the summer holidays ( I would just like to ad she moved 180 miles away after the split) so now fast forward to last Christmas where my not so little one had come to stay (just after Christmas because my ex has never let me have her on Christmas Day or her birthday) my little one was worried because mummy kept saying that she would be all alone and sad while my little one was with me, so half way through the stay my little one wanted to know mummy was ok and because of the worried little one my ex come and picked up and said they would never have my little one again. Now I know that my ex is in breach of the court order that was put in place but I didn’t want to rock the boat by trying to go back to court as I’m concerned that my now soon to be 8 year old would remember this happening. So I’ve just kept contact and had days out where my little one lives. Now I met someone else back in 2011 and we have married and have 3 children between us and this has never been a secret from my ex and my little one gets on very well with siblings. It has every now and again thrown a few issues with my ex but she now has a guy and you would think she would be happy, I don’t know? So today’s visit where myself, my wife, our 3 little ones, her mother and father and my mother and father all went to see my eldest. We had a great day and my eldest asked when could thay come and stay? Now this was asked the last visit (and lots of times in the phone) but on the visits it was followed up with your wife doesn’t want me there because mummy says so (my eldest did refer to my wife by name) now my wife has never not shown anything but love to my eldest and again today we had a fantastic day and my eldest again is asking when can they come and stay? My response and my wife’s response (yes my little one is also asking my wife, the so called one who doesn’t want my eldest there) is always you need to ask mummy as I never want to be seen to be coercing my eldest. So dropped off a very happy little one with Christmas gifts and 5 hours later received a text from ex saying my eldest could only see me alone and my wife is not to be there! WTF do I do???
I did back in the early court hearings have legal representation but I run out of money and to be totally honest I found I got on far better representing myself. I didn’t want to got d
my x has my 2 kids, 14 and 16y now. I pay her a bit more than what i was legally meant to to keep my kids safe and comfortable. Now she has moved house and blocked my number so i have no way to contact. i used to get to see my kids every alternate weekend but now she has forced them to tell me (before they moved) that don't want to see me and that way she is not breaking any law apparently. i continue to pay as i always did into her account but now have no way to know if my kids are safe and where they are or see them. Any advise please? do i have the right too force her to disclose their new address and to get to see my kids ever? many thanks for your time and advise. regards, x
My brother has a 9 month old son with his ex girlfriend. Undortunatley they split before he was born and she refused to put my brother on the birth certificate, along with refusing to let anyone on our side including, my brother, know he was born or his name until he was a month old.
My brother bank transfers her money for his little boy every week from as soon as he found out he was born, despite being unable to see him initially.
My brother is technically my 'foster' brother as he is a former Looked After Child, so we saught out the advice of his social worker, who's advice was as follows;
'If you are not on the birth certificate you shouldnt be paying, you are not legally his dad'
He chose to ignore what the social worker is saying, he wants to provide his ex with money to enable his little boy to get everything he needs. So he pays, every week. His ex will also text him, 'Hiya, **** needs a new high chair' and he will go out, buy him a high chair and drop it round without question in the hope that he might get to see his son.
She will sometimes text us saying we can come round to her house and see him, usually in the middle of the day, midweek when we are all working. I feel like she does this tactically as we have no choice but to decline due to work, when we decline we get a well that's when it's convient for me and my little boy, which in turn we have to respect. I say we have seen him a handful of times now which is better than none at all. My parents have pleaded with her to let them and my brother see him, on several occasions, saying it's not fair for him to grow up without a dad, especially when he has a doting dad who just needs a chance. We continue to try to make an effort with her, we buy him clothes and toiletries and leave them at her doorstep or with her on the off chance that she opens the door.
Recently my mom asked her if we could pick him up and have him for a few hours at my parents house (where my brother lives) because we were having a family party and it was a perfect opportunity to finally introduce him to everyone.
She declined and told us that he isn't to go anywhere without her. That we do not know his routine and do not know him. (Mind you, We have never been given a chance to know him or his routine.) and that she doesn't trust us with him (my parents are highly experienced foster carers, who get paid to care for children.) My mom explained to her that she has five other grandchildren, who she picks up from school weekly and they would love to meet him.
Obviously the answer was no.
We do not know where to go from here. I can see it tearing my brother and my parents apart.
As he isn't on the birth certificate, we feel like we can't get anywhere legally, is this the case? Do you know what route we need to go down in order to get either supervised contact or (prefereably) ((eventually)) unsupervised contact.
Thank you!
So me and the wife have now split and she is German, she is thinking about moving back and taking my son with her( bearing in mind he is now 9 and doesn’t speak a word of german) this is something that I’m massively upset about! We were married in Germany and with her being german and him being born in Germany how does this affect the situation, also if we have agreed specific time for instant 25th till the 29th December is when I will have him and she then decide not to return until new year (not agreed) what happens apart from the fact I have to look after him? Thanks for he help
The Allegations have now spread to my family members, before they were just against me. None of which are true. My children are living at their Maternal Grandparents address, against my will. My wife's brother is Autistic and has random violent episodes. He also has been recorded to not being able to look after himself. And my wife has been leaving the children under his care whilst she attended 2 hour driving Lessons and the Gym.
*** The allegations are all fabricated *** I have never ever been reported for Domestic Abuse etc, and I am strictly against this.
Anyone can give me sound advice all is appreciated, before i go down the Mediation and Court route.
I came home one day and found out my partner gone with all my kids.next police knocked at my door and took all her belongings.i never heard of any of social workers family workers or police nobody whatsoever.i dont know how to contact her for mediation as i dont know where she lives and am stuck here now.any advice plzz
Thanks
Mothers play the system at will knowing that unless they are abusive, violent or intoxicated they have the upper hand. They routinely bait fathers in a power play and in more cases than not appear to have caused the separation.
Even when you have spent your life savings on obtaining a court order they will proceed to whittle, change, disrespect and augment it citing, "life changes;", "relationship changes;", "aging;", and let me tell you now there is no way at time of separation you could make an order specific enough for your actual needs.
Once having been through the process you know that no judge will entertain you bringing further action for a missed night or a half day change.
The system has vastly improved from when most of my older peers separated, they were cut out of their kids lives entirely until the kids came looking after they had finished school. So in that respect things are better than they were but it is still a flipping joke, especially to those of us who were brought up to work at relationships.
"Haven't had a dream in a long time.... See, the life I've had.... Can make a good man bad,"
I would say to any father in a split don't wait, get a contact order in place asap. They can also be broken but its slighter less tricky to navigate enforcement of an order than getting one in the first place. The trouble is none of us come here until its already happened.
I am going to be a dad 2 weeks tomorrow and my partner and I have split. We split as soon as she found out that she was pregnant in April.
She's saying that I'm only aloud to see my daughter one day a week in a contact centre. Getting there to see her will cost at least £30-£40 per week. Do I have more rights then that as the father. I'm not even aloud to be there when she gives birth or on the birth certificate. Can you help me out please. Thank you.
I need some advice regarding my child contact order.
My court order for my 2 young children states that the mother has our children for 16 days and then i have them for 5, which is wednesday to Sunday every 3rd week. I asked for this as I work away for 2 weeks at a time. My order also states that I have them this Xmas eve til boxing.
Coincidentally my 5 days after fallen on the day after boxing day, I realised this a few months back so booked the time of work and am looking forward to a quality week with my children.
My problem is the mother is saying she has a holiday booked from the day after boxing day and that she is going away for a week.
This is a major breach of court in my opinion, I was expecting to return kids on boxing day and then pick them back up day after for my 5 days.
I feel I have 2 options either give them back on boxing day as order states and not have them for my 5 days or refuse to give them back on boxing day as she will not return them to me the day after and return them to her in Sunday ??
I want to go with the 2nd idea but am worried the consequences from the law.
I look forward to hearing some advice.
Many thanks in advance
Basically I split up with my ex 9 months ago. I then get told she's pregnant and was asked if I'm happy about this and did i want to be involved, i went to the first scan then after that she became more and more distant to he point that she blocked me on her phone and social media. i had her email so every month i sent a calm,kind and clear message asking how she and the baby where doing. then around 6months into the pregnancy she started telling me she wanted no contact with me and just stopped replying to my messages telling me i was harassing her and there was no reason for her to contact me. The baby was due Nov 9th and I've sent her an email asking her for info about our child Ie ....Gender, weight,health ect .... but have had no response.
Where do i go from here?
I pick my kids up on a Thursday for a hour or so after school and nursery(my boy is nearly 2 my girl 5)...and I have them usually on a alternating sat and Sunday.
I never not turn up for my days but because of work situation I have had to change certain days over 2 weekends but I made sure I seen the kids on weekdays to compensate.
It was a necessity as I'm on construction and had to finish a job.
My ex was fine with this.
Now this Friday I was supposed to have the kids over night and I get a message on the morning telling me it's not going to happen by my ex followed by a letter from her lawyer saying all contact should stop,
I have done nothing wrong!........I have text messages of hers confirming our access arrangements for this weekend and beyond.?
When I said this to her she said her lawyer said this does not matter?!
But she is painting me in this light that I'm unriliable etc but she can do this to me on no notice at all.
Where do I stand now pls as she is stopping all my access....overnight,days,school pick ups,nursery
I supposed to have my 2 boys this weekend and out of the blue she said I can't until she sorts a visiting order. She's spiteing me because I found out she lied about taking my boys to dentist appointments (about 6 in total) since we parted and I found out after calling the dentist myself. My boys always say they are mistreated at their mums and want to stay with me but of course as I'm always at work it's impossible and their age is a factor (5 and 4)
Can someone give an advice what I should do, I am just trying to avoid the court for the lack of money.
Thank you all.
I git an arrangement between me nad my ex to see my 5 years daughter. However every time she got angry she try to stop ne from seeing my her.
I used to take my daughter every 2 week for 2 nights and 1 day. Now she stop me and she will give her only for 1 night every 2 weeks. What i should do to stop her before the things get worse thx.
She is in my sons room because it is a 2 bedroom house. My son has my room when he stays and I sleep on the sofa downstairs. The lodger is a friend and has had a crb check, I have known her for over a year and she works with my brother. Have seen my solicitor and have been told that this is ok and that the court would see he has a room if it went that far. However she also told me that if I take her back to court the worst she will get is a ticking off. So paying for court fees and solicitors, she will just get told off. To me that seems ridiculous and makes the court order seem pointless.
It is terrible how fathers get treated and how mothers that use the child as a power trip get away with it!
Kindest regards and thank you for your time
My ex tends to deny me seeing my wee girl without a good reason, apart from 'becouse',
best case scenario advising me last minute about some 'events' etc.
I've been jumping hoops long enough, tolerating her abusive and agressive behaviour.
Reason is simply out of question.
I dont know what to do anymore
Help?
Many Thanks for reading this and helping my situation
My ex wife is after my money and don´t let me live my life with my kids, everything I buy for my kids she stops them to take it home.
This woman just wants money, I can´t give anything to my kids, she sends the kids to spend the weekend with me with no clothes at all, I have to go and buy them clouths for the weekend and then they can not take these clothes to theyir mums and next weekend I will have to do the same again.
I am paying child maintinence £131 per week because she stop me to pay direct to her bank acount and reported me to CSA saying that I didn`t want to give any support for my kids.
CSA does not care about my situation, they are taking the money of my wages charging me 20 per cent fees for something that I didn`t do, also they´re ruin my life...I can´t have peace anymore plus these guys are taking a lot more money of me than they should and that money is not going to my kids. I am a Portuguese citizen living and working in this country for about 6 years and was married to this woman for about 14 years. My kids are not happy with all this seeing their dad getting in trouble for something he never done...NEED HELP PLEASE
I want to go to his school to see him on his lunch break, more importantly, he needs to see me. Is this allowed?
In what circumstances would a father be given custody of their child?
He tried mediation but she refused & didn't turn up. Has also tried a few other things but isn't having any luck.
I have been through the court process and have a child arrangement order in place. My ex is now breaching this order and not letting me see my child. I think the matter may end up back in court but concerned about the costs. It cost me 8k last time but if my ex is breaching the order is she liable for the costs this time?
Thanks.
Darren
My fiance has a bad past and he wants to leave it there. but that's all they throw at him his past. He wants to be there physically and emotionally for his daughter but feel like we have hit a dead end please help I don't know what else to do. How can I get my step daughter seeing her daddy again!!!!
My son split with his partner 6 months ago he has just recently stated a new job the money isn't great but it's still money ,he has decided to go to c m a to sort out payments to his ex ,now she has stopped him access to his daughter , but keeps getting the 3 year-old to face time him while at work and unable to answer the call ,also he doesn't want to really answer the calls as it will end in the ex partner in thebackround slagging him off what should he do ? Also doesn't this border on child cruelty on the daughter who loves spending time with her dad and she is allowing her to face time the dad but not let her see him ?
My partner has been fighting to see his 2 children since April of this year. His ex has refused access citing neglect... MASH checked it all out, nothing further was done.
She has now notified CMS that she has full custody and is demanding more money off my partner. Needless to say he is devastated and rather annoyed.
Mediation is booked and the whole thing will probably go to court, but in the interim does he have to pay the increased rates even though he's doing everything in his power to keep contact with his children?
Thanks.
I don't know where to start other than my ex needs to stop being a bitter, fat, horrible, twisted dog and let me see the kids.
We met, was happy, got pregnant. I didn't work for first year as we had more than one baby. When I went to work as a self employed worker working 16/18 hour days.
Quiet a drastic change from being home to not being around. Safe to say going back to work was a massive failure, the money was difficult to earn and so I ended up gambling to try and right my wrong.
Through guilt and embarrassment I ended up sniffing cocaine and dropping speed balls. Don't ask me why but seemed like and great escape from reality at the time.
Safe to say, going back to work ruined my life.
Relationship fell apart (gladly) and I moved out which absolutely destroyed me and parts my father left me as a child and I promised myself I would repeat his wrong.
After a while of sofa surfing I ended up working for some cowboys doing illegal activities. I knew was I was doing but I was under so much pressure from my ex to produce cash for the kids I went ahead regardless of knowing the police wouldn't be too far behind me.
Got arrested for conspiracy to supply class a on two counts.
My wannabe middle class ex knew all about the said crime but obviously I didn't throw her under the bus despite the past 9 months of not letting me see the kids regularly. She qas happy to take the proceeds of crime at the time.
Came out of prison after 6 months of good behaviour. That was nearly two years about go and since then I've been messed about to the point where I think killing myself is the only qay to escape.
Granted I have missed out many parts but I hope you get the jist of what I'm saying.
She refused to let me spend fathers day with the kids. She only allows me 2/3 hours to spend with the kids when she allows it.
I'm flat broke. Can't afford bread or milk so hoe do I possibly go about take my ex to court for access?
Any questions, ask away.
What can I do, I still do love my wife but right now I doubt if she does love me anymore. I see her action of denying me access to my children a wicked act.
Please advise me.
my daughter and I have not seen each other for 2-3 years now and the emotional pain is exhausting. The case originally saw myself being granted interim residence when my daughter was 1 yr old as my ex left her on the doorstep in a car seat and left - I refused to hand my daughter back and was supported by the authorities/courts. My ex wormed her way into my softer side and I beleive people deserve a chance, so we eventually settled on shared residence and that is when my problems began. It worked for a while, during the hard slog years of being up at 5am and not being able to eat or go for a pee on your own and then she suddenly stopped enabling this by not dropping my daughter off, so I took it to court ; she didn't turn up. Then again, and again, then eventually got her into court and the judge said she wouldn't reinstate the order. I had to fight for a contact order and go through a contact centre , then eventually got the day every sunday, then my ex got a new boyfriend and seems to want to pretend he's her Dad and has not let me see my daughter.
Ive been scared to try to go back to court as was told it was the final hearing and I was quite disgusted with the way the courts told me that the original order/s were not enforceable, so whats the point ?
It seems like the industry is making a living on the misery of parents and children and the system is not fit for purpose - It totally broke me and I didn't have the strength to fight it again, knowing I would only be left dissapointed and shunned as a second class parent once again (I truly believe we will look back at this shocking system in 100 years and say I cant believe Fathers were treated like that)
I feel weak and beaten but I know I have to go again for the sake of my daughter, I worry that she might have issues when she is older and think I didn't care, but this has made me ill.
I earn an average wage and by the time rent and maintenance is paid to both my children's mothers, I break even.
Please advise the cheapest way of getting to court as it is so unfair on my daughter.
Thank you
Thanks
He was very involved in the past, school drop offs & pick-ups and took care alone for 1 month last year while the wife was traveling. But now that they have separated she has the house and is only letting him see his son once a week for a few hours. He is living alone in another house and has a room all set up for his 8y old son.
Also he is supporting them by paying the mortgage, tax and also cash to her, totaling an amount more that what I think he is legally obligated to pay.
He is a pretty relax person and has asked for sleepovers and more time but wants to be non confrontational. She also wants to use some low conflict lawyers. She said no sleepovers until a custody order is in place. How long would that take?
I've said she clearly does not want to cooperate and he should see a lawyer ASAP. The ball is in his court to get an order. Ask for 50:50 one week on one week off or the more creative 2-2-3 (every other weekend, also known as a 2-2-5-5). He is self employed so quite flexible and open with schedules. Would it be better to offer more than one option in court? Should he ramp-up contact time or just go for 50:50 now?
Any other tips I can pass on to him as I think he needs to act fast or she may pull some precedent, full custody, card. This dad and kid do not deserve that. This woman is a very introverted sheltered person she has a history of denying access to many people including aunts, uncles, friends, grandparents (even her side of the family). To biased me she looks like an access denying B!t$#
recently my ex partner moved in with her new partner and over the last couple of weeks my ex has stopped me having the children on a Monday and Thursday reducing my contact to a little over 1 day per week. I have asked to have my children tonight for 1 hour to take them park and she has refused.
She hasn't gave me any concrete reasons for this change, using several excuses such as... they misbehave when they come back from yours, you don't put them to bed on time, I want a different routine for them, I want to see them more... the list goes on.
my opinion is she has done it to increase my maintenance payments and to phase me out as I know her new partner absolutely adores my children.
what are my rights and what can I do to increase contact again? thanks
Thanks guys
I split with my wife when my son was 18 months and I havee had contact issues ever since. Originally I had no access so had to get a Solictor to sort out weekend contact. This was successful but the agreement didn't cover birthdays, Christmas etc. After waiting for my ex to for about 2 years to do the right thing I went to Court and got an order covering special occasions. My son was aged 5 at this point. Things were relatively ok he was 11 when she out of the blue stopped contact in the holidays. After waiting a year we went back to court as she refused mediation. Undertaking given to split holidays and bank holidays. She had threatened to cut access altogether when he was 14. When he reached 14 access was reduced to every 3 weeks and a variety of excuses given by her. My son wanted the normal fortnightly but she wouldn't agree.
Access continued to dwindle I now have seen him only a handful of times in the last year. Solicitor advised not to go to court. CAFCASS the same. Mediation attempted, ex agreed to it and never went. I think in hindsight ex has got what she wants no contact between my son and I. I hadn't heard of parental alientation prior to him being 14 and I now realised this was what I was up against. His academics are below his capabilities and he's refusing contact with all my side of the family. Any ideas how best to deal with this.
Is there anything stating she has a certain amount of time to contact the centre for access?
eventually we broke up and I moved back to London. I started going and seeing him every Saturday meaning I had to leave my house at 5/6am in order to meet his mother at 8/9am that she would never budge on making it harder for me after a week on a building site then a 3/4 hour drive at the crack of dawn. only to get an hour or two with my son to be told his mum has plans. I would be back home by 5pm feeling completely crushed. I even had to meet her at a shopping outlet to buy the clothes she demanded and my time with his was a mcdonalds drive through for an hour.
after a few months I became very depressed and began filling my void going to the pub and sadly after months of getting nowhere and being made out to be some kind of scumbag violent drug addict I tried to take my own life as I couldn't take living in such sadness. all I wanted s my little boy. I lost my father when I was 21 after we just made contact again. my ex knew the only thing keeping me going was to be the dad to my son I never had growing up but she has stopped all contact with him. the last time I saw him was his birthday in march 2015 where I travelled with my mother and sister to see how little champ. however as usual that day was cut short just after lunchtime as they had places to be...... intact a few weeks after I found a picture taken from my sons birthday mean just 2 hours after id left with a complete stanger holding my son... of course it was her new fella..
now my son is days approaching 2 and I still get no where.
I've tried calling to find I've been blocked then when she does call me its short and sweet, so I say to her please don't put the phone down, if we can't talk on the phone ill make the 210mile journey to talk to you face to face. she called the police telling them I was threatening her so now they're watching out and keeping a safety report for her. its a complete joke
during my battle with depression I
'My wife and I have been married for 4 years and I left the house a month ago as I could not endure the verbal, emotional and physcological abuse and intimidation any more.
We have a 3 year old daughter together for who I moved to the U.K on a Spouse visa and since the day I started working in the U.K provided all the financial, emotional, and domestic support to my wife and my daughter. 2.5 years ago when my wife stopped working in-order to bring up our daughter the abuse, intimidation, allegations started. I kept taking it all in by thinking may be it is a phase and will pass but the intensity and vehemence of abuse only kept increasing. I was threatened several times that she will get my spouse visa revoked and I will not be able to see my daughter. Considering my daughter was the only reason I felt alive I continued to take it all in. In 2015 my wife pounced on me bruising my hand while I was holding my daughter in the other hand (it resulted out of an advice I gave her that she should see her patient (my wife is a medical professional) another day as the patient had not arrived even after 2 hours of the scheduled appointment time and hadn't called or texted and my daughter had just come out of the hospital after being on a life support for 7 days) and as a split second response I pushed my wife as I felt threatened by the way she assaulted while I was still holding my daughter. She reported me to the Police who called me for questioning a few days later, made me wait for several hours and then my wife came forward saying that it was all a misunderstanding. Since that day until the day I moved out she'd keep threatening to implicate me in a made up event.'
The real issue now is that I haven't been able to see my daughter and my wife demands unusual amount of money for child maintenance (she was habitual of getting 90% of my salary transferred to the joint account), accuses me of leaving the house (I was told almost everyday to leave the house and she said that I am here because she sponsored my visa) and leaving her and my daughter, at other times she calls me and messages me suggesting we get back together (a few hours after she casts allegations on me through text messages). My wife was married and divorced before, the reasons of which varied when her mother mentioned and when she mentioned about the divorce, has a type A personality (heard her talking to a doctor in NHS and privately.) which is pretty accurate in describing her aggression, tendency to belittle others, and unstable relationships. She accused me of stealing from the house after I left (Thankfully I mustered the courage to approach the police the day I left and sought assistance from the Police when picking up my stuff) and have been spreading lies and allegations about me to various agencies.
I have applied for mediation just recently, attended MIAM but I a
So, she's causing restrictions as an act of revenge.
We are now expecting a baby and his ex has said that their daughter isn't allowed to see the baby when it comes or ever have anything to do with it.
Is there anything that can be done so that he can have his daughter here overnight once a week?
My daughter misses her terribly and I want my baby to know its other sister.
I have a 2 year old son with my ex partner.
I ended our relationship about 3 months ago and she has allowed me access to my son at weekends and allows him to stay at my flat.
We (obviously) have a very strained relationship - however the reason I ended it was that she was abusive. Both physically and mentally. This is very hard for me to admit. She stopped me from contacting my friends and family and moved us away from anyone I know to live with her parents.
She flies into terrible rages and has smashed up TV's Stereos and our house numerous times. She has never had a formal diagnosis (to my knowledge) but I believe that she suffered from personality disorder and delusional paranoia.
My ex has a teenage daughter from a previous marriage that she emotionally abuses. I am scared about what she will do to the children now I'm not there all of the time.
I want to move on with my life - however my ex is still controlling every aspect of it. She dictates who I can and can't see and where I can and can't go; saying that if I don't do as she says that she will stop access to my son.
I have thought about taking legal action but her family have told me straight that they have money and I don't and that anything I do wouldn't make any difference as they would pay a lawyer more than I could ever afford.
I honestly don't know what to do.
She was always quite controlling and is continuing to be so, there has been a couple of weekends when she's denied access all together but thankfully we seem to be past that. She is now letting me see him on a Saturday between 9am and 2pm. I would like to extend these hours but my main concern is at present she won't let me take him out of the house. I'm happy that I get to see him but it's awkward being in the house with her and I'd also like to take him on fun play dates. Where do I stand in terms of the type of access I get? Is she allowed to set stipulations like this? I have always been a positive father and have no issues around this. She was very controlling around my parents seeing him etc and I've just asked if I can take him out this Saturday so they can see him but had this request denied.
How do I proceed? I'm considering writing a letter threatening to apply for a interim contact order if she doesn't give me proper access.
Any advice welcomed
My partner & I haven't been together for very long but I've been very close friends with the family for a couple of years.
He has 2 children with his ex girlfriend of 6 years aged 4 and 8 months old. She had a restraining order put on him from an argument and kicking Him out and is not allowing him to have contact with his children. It's destroying him. She allows it one minute and has him round to see them and get the order lifted but then gets him arrested for being there. He's on the birth certificate of one child and not the other also tried contacting other members of her family to see if they could help so she didn't have to see him and they have been no help. What else can he do and ASAP?
Many thanks in advance.
.I just want to know if I have a right to call my children through telephone, my ex was allow ing this every day until she got annoyed with a few weeks ago.
me speaking to my children by telephone helped me aswell as them.
Just looking for a bit of advice please.
Thanks
Leigh
My ex is being very obstructive with contact with my daughter. We had a mediation where we agreed terms of contact and now she is going back on what we agreed because she's upset that I took my tv out of the home. I can't afford a solicitor but have money for a court order, is this the best form of action for me to take and do you have any advise for me?
Thank you
Thanks in advance
I am looking to start the process to see my two children, the first step being a letter! I am looking for a template as I want to make sure I include everything I need to. Can anyone help me with this atall please?
Thanks
1) When I have my daughter for the weekend do I have to tell my ex that I am leaving the house with her? Only asking as I went to take our daughter to see her sister which is an hours drive away and my ex demanded that she had everyone's number and address just in case, I understand tell just in case bit, I said that if anthing did happen you would be informed. Question is "do I have to give these details out"?
2) I have started a new relationship, we spend 5 months getting to know each other first before we said we was going out as she had kids too and we wanted to make sure it was right first,the next step was to introduce them to each other which we did saying we was just friends not going out,the kids git on better than we hoped. My ec found out before I could talk to her, anyway she's now saying that I can't take my daughter for a sleep over at my new partners house as my daughter needs to get used to it, I understand this and wouldn't pit her in any situation she wasn't happy with. I have talked to our child about what's happening and she's fine with it and wants to stay over. Can I take my daughter with me for one night or do I have to listen to her mum?
I need some advice if you could please, my partner has been split up from his ex for nearly 5 years, they have a 10year old boy together.
For the first 3 and half years we travelled 5 hours every other weekend for visits, eventually we were allowed for him to stay with us.
My partners ex was unstable for a while and caused a lot of problems for us, I also suffered post all depression after having both my daughters which also caused problems.
His ex has met someone else and the problems stopped for a while it then it got to saying when we could have him, we needed to supply clothes for him and wouldn't send him with anything. The whole time we have paid as we should have, used most of our money travelling up and down, In fact our girls went without a lot so we could see him but never had any respect.
Father's Day approached and my partner didn't get a phone call or message, which upset him greatly and with me being ill I got upset myself. When he did speak to his son he was treated awful, I did shout and tell his son off which stopped me being able to have any contact. My partner tried to keep contact but unfortunately they haven't seen each other for over a year now!
My partner has tried to get in contact, with his son and his ex but text messages are not answered and when has called they are not answered either.
My partners mother still has contact and when asked if he wants to speak to his dad he says no or not sure if mum will let me.
My partner is desperate to have contact with his son but just does not know what to do now as they have moved and my partner or his mother haven't got their address.
Any help or guidence would be amazing, thank you
My partner and i have battled with his ex wife (over five years but due to cost not divorced) for some time.
He has gone right weeks of not being able to see his son and has just about had enough l.
His ex wife is a massive game player and has messed us around for weeks and is using the child for many reasons.
We have tried talking and barge ing with her but her behaviour towards us has lead us to have to have the police involved.
We don't have a lot of money as we have other children but obviously want to see his son.
I'm just wondering what the court costs are if we represent ourselves vs if we had to have a solicitor?
Many thanks
My daughter is now 2.5 and her mum made contact saying that she was meaning to get in touch with me for ages and just wants to get it out of the way, and it's not fair on our daughter, she has a right to know who her dad is.
She sent me some pics of our daughter and said she wanted social services to do an assessment so her arse was covered.
The SW went to see the mum a week later and the mum then told SW that she has changed her mind.
I received a call from SW to say this.
The mother has been promoting me to my daughter and can be heard in the background of the call saying "daddy" and the mum saying "yes it's daddy" and my daughter saying "hi daddy".
My phone records all calls.
I also have numerous messages via text and facebook from the mother promising me that she will let me see my daughter and that she won't let me down and again, have recordings of her saying the same.
She has given no reason as to why she stopped the assessment and the SW wasn't given a reason either.
I asked the SW, surely, this falls under emotional neglect as I have been promoted to the child, but according to the SW, she didn't see it has emotional neglect and refused to take a report of it from myself, advising me to take matters to court.
Now currently I am on benefits and can't afford to be paying for mediation, of which I have been told is a registration fee of £50 and then a £75 fee for the 1st session that has to be paid up front and is not refundable whether the mother turns up or not.
And then there's Court fees and applications that the court says is £215 for each application.
They said I would have to apply for (1) Parental Responsibility (2) Contact Order (3) Amendment to the birth certificate.
Can anyone advise legally where I stand on this and how the courts (when I can finally afford to attend) will view the fact that the mother asked for a risk assessment to be done and then stops it in it's tracks?
And is it correct what the SW said about it not being a case of emotional neglect/abuse with what the mum has done
Just wondering I split from my ex 5 years ago and I have my son 3 nights a week every week more in holidays !! I take him away weekends and do.as much as I possibly can with him !! This has worked very well where we both get joint time !!now over recent weeks and months the ex will call and say not tonight im.having him pick him up tomorrow!!Now once in a while thats fine buts its getting more frequent and not only ruining my routine its doing the same to his !! The routine has been the same since he was 1 and now 6 so thats all he knowsin terms of how many times we see each other !! Chuck in a couple of bad relationships her end where hes said frequently I dont want to go bak makes me think if this continues where would I stand if I went to court !! Not taking him full time as he needs his mum as much as me but to keep my days as we have always had !! Thanks
Help!
I'm new to this and wondered if anyone could share any experiences or advise. My ex wife and I split nearly 3 years ago and have both re-married. As off last weekend she has told me that I won't be able to speak to my children, see them etc unless I go through the courts. The reason for this is that I didn't get time at the weekend to do something for my son. I have had my children every other weekend since we split, 5 days at Christmas, extra days in half term and had them for a weeks holiday in the summer (although only in the uk as she won't allow me to take them out the country!!!) The children are 8 and 11 and both myself and my wife have a great relationship with them.
My ex was incredibly controlling and this is still happening through our children with my time with them and with them. I have always paid her for our children £450 a month (except 2 months when I changed jobs due to redundancy)
My question is would I stand in a good position to apply for joint residency? We live about 30 mins away from our childrens school. My eldest daughter is starting high school next year and my ex has chosen (without a discussion) a school that is 20 minutes further away from her in the other direction than the very good school that is between the both of us. Could I get this changed and if so, would this give me a better chance of sharing the day to day care of our children?
The have both said that they want to see more of me but mum wont allow it as I work and wouldn't have time. (she doesn't work) They also don't do anything when with her. I've taught both children to ride a bike, learn to swim, read to / with them, cook with them etc etc. The don't do any clubs, sport, hobbies other than homework club!! I'm getting to my wits end and just need some, if any, advice.
I'm a great father and her reason to do this is purely to get at me, nothing to do with the children or their needs :(
Sorry for the essay - just wanted to get as much info over as possible.
Thanks
He has since moved on with a new girlfriend whom they are having a baby. They are both aiming to be successful in life as she is aiming to go to univercity and my brother is aiming on getting a job however he does suffer from anixity and he was diognosed with personality disorder.
He is a great person whom has suffered terribly, and this EX is playing games. She says you don't even ask about son so he does and she says if you contact me again I will block you..call the police etc etc... he does wnat to see his son but he stil has his low days where he shuts everybody out even his family. She has now said that they are not allowed together so this has resulted in my brother being left out of family events because if she finds out he has been their she won't let our family see my nephew. So it is effecting our family tremendously and our relationship with our brother. She has not given. Full reason as to why he can't see him, he's not a danger to him as when they where together he was her career and done most of the looking after the boy who is actualy very bright as they done a god job raising him however because of her games he now doesn't get to see his dad we think it may be because she has a new partner. What can my brother doo and what can his family do to help him??
Quick bit of advice please! My ex split with me when she was 3 months pregnant. Since my daughter has been born, she's allowed me to go to her house twice a week. However I'm not happy with this. I go to her how's and suffer anxiety because my ex sits in the same room for the full 2 hours and we simply do not get on.
I want to see my daughter at my own house-even if this means my ex drops her around for an hour or so weekly-this is also for the benefit of my family I.e my mom dad grandparents to also see their grandchild/my daughter.
Any help would be appreciated! Thanks :)
Working out in my opinion
She said if I did it that she would be entitled
To half of my wages and said she was going to take my son up to Scotland to live up
There.
Can she legally take my son up
To Scotland to live and is she entitled to half of my months wages if I leave?
I have no problem Paying for my son but surely proof of what's been purchased should be given to me?
I really am torn between staying with my girlfriend when I don't think it's working or risk leaving her and not seeing my son
Can anyone help me :(
I have been on my second hearing and I was devastated cause the cafcass officer didn't hand the safeguarding letter to the judge. The judge decided that me and my ex write a statement. And he didn't fixed a date for the bext hearing. After the hearing I received a call from the officer saying that she's sorry and the report was ready the 15/09and she doesn't know why the judge didn't have it at the hearing. My question is if there is any options to contact the court to speed the process. Thx
Everything was fine contact order in place every other weekend children will stay an he paid every month without fail,
Due to restraining order put on her because she attacked myself an partner in front of children we had a 3rd party however 3rd party no longer wants to be involved so she took it back to court without us knowing an got this all changed. We then received a text message from her stating that he is to pick kids up from her house an so on but we disagreed with this due to us having to restraining order on her for protection so why was she able to change it. We went back to court an it all got back into place to our satisfaction.
However now we have received a phone call from csa stating he doesn't see the children but this is due to him waiting to go back to court so she is now receiving more money but he wants his children every other weekend like before he just wasn't willing to pick them up from her so agreed in contact centre for handover service. Now she has gone back to family court stating the children do not want overnight stays all of a sudden but it was all okay when she sent the text message when it was in her favour. Can the court deny father overnight stay because of mother? An I can't help but think she is doing it due to getting extra money through csa due to him not having them. The kids also ask him when he is coming to get them.
I hope someone understands this as it's so long winded.
Does she have any right in doing this ?
At the moment I am only seeing my child twice a month (If I'm lucky) through a contact centre, so 3 and a half hours a month... I am going to go to mediation to get a C100 to take her to court. She keeps saying she has a letter from the police and doesn't have to give me access. I have asked for a copy of this letter as proof but she wont give it to me.
What can I do?
Thanks
It appears the next thing to do is to apply for a child contact order some can see them?
Only trouble is I am very concerned that the court won't grant me access if there is an ongoing police investigation?... No offences involving the children, just a stupid assault allegation she's thrown in there, is another rubbish thing.
It will be 6 months since I've seen them.
Help / Advice please??
I apply for prohibited step order and im waiting for answering from court
Do I need to apply for another step order to allow me to see my kid?
her address is unknown for me i really dont know what i must do to have contact with my daughter
I have a 5yr old daughter and my ex in the UK.she wont let me see her or talk to her on the phone.im in Nigeria is it possible to arrange a mediation since am not in the Uk.
She is with another man and they have a baby together already.i have no Job to support her and she said I should wait till my baby is old like 18 she can tell her about me cos for now she is calling her partner daddy already.
Please help me anyone:all am asking Is ti get a phone call and have her send me her picture weekly
Where can i go from here?
My solicitor at the time told me the courts could not force her to return for access or give access at her new home .
A court order was in place to prevent my daughters name being changed ,this was not worth the paper it was written on as my daughters name was changed and she now has a passport in the name of her first step father (not even her mothers name anymore).
I thought as my daughter got older she would want to get to know me ,unfortunately i'm just " the sperm donor".
My point to all separated and estranged Fathers is do not let a week go by without contacting your kids ,if you do you will look around and it will be a year then two then ??.
Thank you.
I have my dd all the time I love it and I love her so much! I do a lot with and for my daughter school runs, meetings events ballets birthdays you name it I'm there. My ex is a hot head and controlling by nature (why I left her dd was 3) I'm now happily coupled with someone I love dearly now for 2 years with a newborn son. Saturdays, is ballet day. When work rota allows I'm with her 2 in 3 weekends overnights back hone sunday, and the rest of the time mid week overnights. So back to ballet Saturdays my ex has now told me she is picking her up in the morning and taking her to ballet. I said to be respectful this is my time with my daughter. She said she taking her. I said ask politely as we may have plans. She said she doesn't care she's collecting her in the morning. Where do I stand? Allow it? Don't allow it? Is it right? Your thoughts and direction required.
From a loving father.
I mentioned to my ex that I would like to take my son for a two day holiday to Newquay and she is point blank refusing to agree to this, saying that it goes against the court order, it will cause our son anxiety to be away from home. Newquay is too far away (24 miles) , and if he wanted to come home, I don't have a car and public transport would take too long causing him distress and a load of what ifs and maybes. I've taken him there before on day trips and we've had great fun. She's making up excuses which are, in my eyes unreasonable. Where do I stand on this and what can I do?
M phogole - 02-June-16 @
Our kids live with his mother, and it was easier then to see my kids because i would be visiting my in laws house.
Now that we have broken up, i cant go to my in laws,to see my kids
The father would agree to bring them to me over weekends
Suddenly he doesn't bring them anymore,always has stories as to why he.cannot bring them,and because of the type of work i do, it often gets difficult for me to get transport to my in laws house.
Thus i end up not having contact with my kids
How can i go about getting my kids back to me
I have been separated from my ex for about 5 months. We tried counselling etc for about 2 of those months but in the end the relationship was clearly over. Up until last week I have been having my 2 children 2-3 nights a week which has been great. I have tried to arrange with the ex as soon as possible what days work best each week but over the last 2 weeks she has been more and more hostile mandating each week last minute what days I can have them. This culminated in her getting to the point last Friday where she clearly stated on text I would no longer be able to see the children until "she hears from a judge!". I have tried sending her messages each day since asking for access to them however she has ignored every one. I have contacted the national mediation org and have a first appointment in almost 2 weeks time but is there anything I can do in the meantime to get access! There is no reason for her to do this. Thanks
Now I feel there should be significant compensation from my EX because of my suffering all of these years. What can be done about this tragic cruelty to a father who is just innocent and has his daughters always in his heart ??
Please comment and advise
Thank you and regards, Neale
So am I to understand that there is no way to enforce a interim order? Or there is but only if you have money?
I have been left in the dark and lied to. 4 years ago I found out and I was threatened to stay away by the man.
My daughter is 8 now and I've been told to stay away. It is killing me. I have messaged a few times this week saying I would like to see my daughter and start having regular contact and be in her life.
They have refused, although they aren't together any more they are both refusing to let me have contact. What do I do. I just want to see my daughter
She was taken to hospital for 3 days after 2 weeks and I was taking care or the babies. A week after coming out of hospital she went into meltdown and said she couldn't cope, done some things that scared me and then admitted herself into hospital. She went into maternity ward for 1 night claiming to be examined by mental health doctors.
After 1 night she left hospital and went to live with her parents taking the babies with her which I am not happy about.
Since then I have seen her 3 times and the babies twice including signing the birth certificates.
When we are alone we can sort things out and are good but at her parents she don't talk to me.
I have reported her to social services and police for what happened as I am really concerned about the babies safety.
She has lied throughout the relationship and more so now.
I have spoken to C.A.B solicitors social services and police, and even mediation, I am not happy with what's being done.
I am told I have no right to legal aid even though I lost my job not long ago so how do I go about taking my ex to court when she refuses mediation?
She got me arrested over a year ago for domestic violence but since falling pregnant was violent towards me but not just me.
I feel I am banging my head against a brick wall and going around in circles, please help if you can.
Thanks in advance.
I actually think he should have him more, there are right and courts to make mothers give access to those children but how do I make the father actually have him more.
I don't even mind him paying less child support if he was to have him more, I think this is more important.
So after all that I was no closer to seeing my son so I applied for a contact order I went to court and with all the claims my ex had made I was directed to do alcohol and drug tests which came back clear and I was put on a course that runs for 27 weeks called change during this I was allowed indirect contact as advised by cafcas. Half way through the course I got another court date all reports were positive and I got progressive contact 2 hours 4hours etc.supervised by my parents then at the end of the course they produced a gleaming report and cafcas spoke with both me and my ex before agreeing that thing were progressing positively and should increase to progressive unsupervised contact then to overnight then finally full weekend every other week they also agreed 2 weeks between contact was too long so I should have a evening on the other week to touch base with my son now 3 years old. When we went to court for the final hearing my ex's statement suggested she felt pressured by cafcas and retracted most of what she agreed we went into court and instead of disifering the cafcas report they went on her statement with many points not talked about and the judge told us to go away and get a detailed order of contact agreed between us and on the judges desk to be signed within 72 hours.
Even after many emails to my solicitor I have heard nothing for 2 weeks now I had contact yesterday with my son for the first time since court my mother has to pick him up due to the molestation order and found my ex to be very difficult about times etc and stating to my mum "this is what it says in the order, I can forward you a copy if you want" but I have seen no order nothing has been exchanged between me and her solicitor so how can a order be produced?
I now find out my ex is wanting to move my son 45 miles away. As much as I have fought for his right to have his dad in his life I feel like I'm losing him. Where do I go from here?
Many Thanks
Thomas
I split with my ex partner and have a 3 year old child together. I currently have him half the week and receive his child tax credits and child benefit as he is in my name. I am not concerned about the level of alcohol around him when he's at home with his month and wanted to know my rights if i was to chose to stop her excess?
My ex girlfriend is refusing to disburse Breast milk into A bottle stating that she does not wish to confuse our baby with a teat and a tit our baby will be 8 months old when we go back to court
My question is how will a court deal with this ? Thanks in advance.
im looking for advice as sons ex now keeps saying he cant have daughter on discussed days and changes times,i there a court form we can send to judge asking for temp access until court hearing in april? Cafcass are having to email ex on a daily basis and act as mediator as she has changed her number and refuses to give it to anyone! we have been told to do a statement but not sure if there is a form we can use.
I have been separated from my Ex wife for over 2 1/2 years.
In that time I have a 60/40 shared care split, with my Ex doing the 60%. We are currently going through a lengthy, expensive court case regarding both the children's care and finances. I work for 5 days then have 4 days off and during the 4 days have full care of my sons aged 11 and 8. My Ex regularly threatens to stop my 4 days access, usually directly after one of our many directional court hearings. On Friday my Ex's partner failed to pick up my 11 year old Autistic son off the school bus due to a communications breakdown? After my son was safely found safe, my Ex phoned me screaming and shouting down the phone trying to blame the whole issue on my son and me. Even though I was 65miles away at the time, as the incident happened during their time with her. So yet again even though we have an agreement in writing drawn up between both her and my solicitors, she is refusing me my 4 days contact stating I will have to apply to the court for them to decide.
I am totally sick of her using my children as a weapon against me and want this rectified as soon and as cheaply as possible as I have a substantial legal bill already for my divorce, so much so that I have suspended my solicitors service and am representing myself.
Can she do this?
If so what can I do?
I am named on his birth certificate and we were married when he was born so I have equal parental rights under UK law that I am aware of.
I have a friend who is married but he wants to end the relationship as he's unhappy. Every time he mentions he wants to leave his wife says that if he leaves he will never see his daughter again.
I have an 18 month old daughter and split with her father just over a year ago. When she was three months old and we were still in a relationship he threatened to take me to court for access after a silly argument. Even after we split he was able to come and go as he pleased in my family home until he was intimidating to myself and younger sibling while our daughter was there. . He refused to leave unless I called the police!!
I have reported this and my mother has now banned him from coming into our family home, however he now feels he can say what he wants when he wants to me, constantly critisising me, applying pressure for contact when he wants it.. he has txt me at 1am saying rubbish. I have never said he can't see our daughter but he can't demand as and when he feels like it. I put into place that he would see her once a week for an hour at a local childrens centre (he is not capable of keeping his mouth shut always causing an arguement) so Iwas advised to do this by my gp... he was late 6 out of 8 weeks didn't join in with our daughyer constantly told her off. I now feel like he uses this court thing as tool of intimidation to get what he wants. How will this stand in court?? I've accommodated him where I can, but now feel nothing I do will be oid enough... I've had to attend councilling because of anxiety and stress.
I have a folder full of incidents screenshot of things he's said, the play workers and my councillor have agreed to do observations if need be, he cannot take her from me can he? That's what he's been telling people.
im 25 have one son iv see once I split with my ex when my son was 10 months iv not see him and he's 3 in
july need help
After separation around 2 years ago i have always had an informal arrangement for both contact and maintenance.
My ex has now refused me access to the boys for an agreed visit for 1 week over Christmas without a clear reason.
She has however stated, by text message, that she is willing to reinstate contact and allow this visit if i increase my maintenance payments!
I obviously need to be careful what i say but as you can imagine, i feel, this is awful! Can she do this? This feels like blackmail, do i have a course of legal action available to me?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Many Thanks,
Gutted Father
not to sign them until she sees what I am signing so all that made her mad so what can I do and whats my best option.
I committed my finances & time to looking after her through the pregnancy & gave up work 1 week before birth. All this time I did everything she asked of me. I never took a penny from her.
Over 6mts from birth she has reduced contact slagging me off for no income as I spent time from May until now on my savings also spending them to find work. The baby was entirely breast fed & did not want for clothes or accessories as all the parents from her school contributed heaps of everthing. She did not allow me to play any top without abuse from her in the process. 2 mts ago she started baby in solids but refused to allow me to see baby now I could get involved in feeding.
Despite this, she complained about the cost of baby. My family has money, so I offered to take full time care of baby at no cost to her. She flew off the handle & severed all communication & ensured zero contact for last 4 weeks.
I've sent a text advising I'm prepared to take legal action which she has completely ignored. There doesn't appear to be any consequences to her for her behaviour. It seems I will never know my baby. I, personally, don't have money for court action. I've just started Xmas work on probation on minimum wage. Is there any help out there at all for me?
Clearly I'm hoping, is there a way I can go to court and get my son to live with me during the week and go to the ex on the weekends?
Please can i request some advice. Separated 6 months and my wife usually phones me up to constantly argue about very minor historical and domestic issues but she is quite volitile verbally and just flies off the handle... i asked her to start messaging me rather than call and only call in an emergency. She tried to call last week and considering i had took a tirade of crap off her days before i chose not to answer the call... she messaged days later asking about weekend arrangements and said because i did'nt answer my phone i missed out on getting tickets for kids christmas play... she ordered them for her mum and herself... i said ive told you to message me because we argue over the phone and im sick of it... so she claims im being unreasonable because i am requesting message communication and i also to have a record of what she is saying... but then she threatened not to tell me anything about the kids as i was playing games and she would make all the decisions... how pathetic! i am well within my rights to request suitable means of communication... she is more than capable of writing messages ive had thousands since our split lol! also she said if i dont start answering my phone she will go to see a solicitor and have them write to me to communicate reasonably and charge me for the fees.... yes we have a crazy one here.... can you advice on my request for messages and if she can back charge me for solicitors fees? She doesnt work claims income support but i work full time. thank you in advance
I'm not the violent person she's made me out to be but this is destroying me it's my sons birthday tomorrow and I just wanna see them and make sure there ok she's alienating my rights and responsibilitys and trying to turn them against me please help
An agreement was made in court(not a court order) for EOW.
His first contact with dd in three months he introduced dd to new partner bearing in mind break down of family unit was only five months before. Dd is not emotionally ready for this. New partner was there the whole time and dd did not spend any one on one time with ex.
On dd return she started randomly blurting out "I love.... (new partners name) dd is just 3 years old and has never used this type of language. She openly told me her daddy and new partner told her to say it. She repeated this behaviour for a few days in childcare after with the childminder also raising concerns and dd repeating daddy and new partner told her to say this.
As a result I have stopped access until final hearing.
Had solicitor letter today saying ex will apply for urgent directions hearing and will be asking for order of costs. Where do I stand on this?
I would like to take the matter to court as she has always been difficult however, I feel that the court may not rule in my favour as one particular evening I had to go to the hospital and asked my mother to drop him off at my ex-partners house. Unfortunately, she strapped my son in the car at the back but without a booster seat or with any other adults. Can this situation be used against me as reason for me not to have contact with my son?
Now her mum is saying that Amelia doesn't want to see me and that she is not going to make her do what she doesn't want to do. Amelia is 7 years old and like I said we always have a good time together, the only reason she is saying that she doesn't want to see me is to not upset her mother.
I feel completely lost and like there is nothing I can do. Her mum should be saying 'its sunday and you are going to your dad' Not giving her the option. Amelia now has a 1 year old brother so I am guessing she wants to stay with him a lot. I look after my daughter financially, they live in a flat that I bought and she lives their with her new partner and child. What can I do to ensure she lets me see her for 6 hours a week?
My partner has a 9yr old daughter with his ex wife. There is no actual court order regarding contact just a verbal agreement that he had her every other weekend and one full week in August and December. Contact was supposed to be from 6pm Fri to 430pm Sunday.
In February the ex wife decided access would only be from 1030am Saturday to 4pm Sunday and there were numerous occasions she swapped weeks or missed contact completely. Due to this my partner visited a solicitor to try and get back the original contact time. The solicitor sent a letter which ex wife responded to with a variety of untrue allegations which included Jess always being ill and off school after her weekends with us and missing so much school she had been threatened with a fine. Partner phoned daughter's school and explained the situation who stated Jess only had 2 absences last year and none this year. Ex wife then emailed our solicitor to say she had contacted social services who were carrying out an investigation into us for failing to safeguard Jess! Partner then phoned social services to find out what the hell was going on and surprise surprise there is no such investigation and they have never heard of Jess.
Partner then went back to solicitor who suggested mediation. We had first meeting with mediators who said they'd send invitation to ex wife to see them and then proper mediation would be arranged.
We didn't hear anything for a good few weeks until yesterday when he received a text from his ex mother-in-law saying mediation and social services have advised all contact is stopped until mediation has taken place and social services have carried out their investigation.
I'm completely bewildered and don't know what we should do next? My partner is going to contact school, social services and solicitor again today but solicitor is so expensive I don't know how we're going to afford it.
My partner is an amazing dad. Jess always enjoys her time with us. He's named on the birth certificate and always makes maintenance payments and we always buy her new clothes and take her out for days. It's so upsetting but infuriating too as I don't know why anyone would be so spiteful. He's absolutely broken at the thought of not being able to see his daughter.
Sorry to ramble on. I'm hoping you can advise on what we should do next?
Many thanks
Helen
Legal fees are a concern for him but something needs to sorted as she is being totally unreasonable
What can I do?
I want to tread carefully as in not to cause addition stress but still would like my contact back with my daughter which has been regular weekly contact for the passed 9 years (she will be 11 this year). The other issues can be sorted at a later date when stresses are possibly less high.
Any ideas to how to go about this would be grateful????
SD83
Hope someone can help
Many thanks
Cheers
I have sent a letter and spoke to her on several occasions but she refuses.
I cannot afford a solicitor, what's my next step please?
After my daughter was born tension started to build between them indirectly because they never really had much contact, just in passing. I've been caught in the middle of remarks from both parties.
The mother expressed she was unhappy with the time my girlfriend spent around my daughter and I agreed to limit this time just for the sake of getting along. A week later after she dropped my daughter at my house and my girlfriend was present she told me she didn't want my girlfriend around my daughter at all and if i didn't agree to this I would not be able to see my daughter.
Her rational behind this demand was that she felt disrespected by the lack of interaction between them and feels that 'If she feels disrespected by someone they are not allowed around her daughter'.
To me this is unjust and nothing to do with the well-being of our child but the threat and possibility of not seeing my daughter has made me back down.
My girlfriend loves my daughter very much and has nothing but the best intentions for her and for me it would be such an injustice for me to tell her after accepting this situation she can no longer be around for us.
I think I need to understand what I can do in this situation and is there any legal grounds behind the mother's request?
Anyway, the point of my comment here is, even though I had no contact with them for so long (not my doing) and their step-father has been granted parental responsibility, can I still apply for access through the courts if necessary?
Also, do I have to be present in the UK to do that or can it be done from Australia without being physically present? Can I ask for someone, a family member in the UK, to act on my behalf?
I would be happy at this point to have email, text, phone contact, hopefully with my daughter being able to travel here on holidays (at my expense).
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Please don't do anything stupid you can seek legal advice and get access that way. My misus wishes that her babies daddy would do more instead of refusing child support. He doesn't even ask how his baby is but I see her as my own...
Men don't know what they have until they leave their family-thinking the grass is greener when it's not. But you must not forget that the child comes before anyone and should always see both parents.
I cried until I couldn't cry no more I am at the point where I want to take my own life because my ex won't let me see my son. We split up 6 weeks after he was born and me and her was just arguing. The best thing to do was split for his sake. She started letting me see him 3 times per week then 2 then 1 then none!
What gives woman the right to do this I have a very good job, car, house and would give him the world. He is my flesh and blood but I see so many stories, I don't want to end up a statistic of a suicial dad but I don't think I have a option. I have no where to turn!
His birth has not yet been registered and her Mother is saying that Kevin has to go discuss things at their house, I am not allowed to be present and they will then decide whether he will be added to the birth certificate. Is there any thing we can do and if Kevin is not named as the father then can he still have access to the child if we go through a solicitor?
Thanks
Jo
They have a two year old son together and he wasn't aware of the location but managed to apply to the court for visitation etc.
CAFCASS were asked by the court to provide a report.
The report was totally biased against him, anything positive for him was twisted into a negative, i know this because i was one of the people interviewed by CAFCASS and when i was mentioned in the report, my words had been twisted. Other interviews in his favour were also omitted from the report.
However anything that was negative toward her, has been twisted into a positive.
To top it all off the report has suggested that he has his son every other weekend and he is responsible for collecting and returning the child (300 mile round trip)
I honestly see no fairness whatsoever in the outcome of the report from CAFCASS
Do you have any advice that i might pass on to my friend?
Thank you in advance
i want custody ofmy child shes my heart and the ex did this to her ex whle we were married and got sole legal she knows how to do this abd now my daughter is alienated she doesnt talk smile and she does tell me she loves me i need simeone with balls to see this for what it is and for once put the child first not the shortage of money i have
advice would be nice
upset father
I have child with my ex and she is not let me see her every time I do want to see my child she have a excuse for it or few times she ask me to come see her and end up not turning up she live north Somerset and I live in Essex so it's a long journey for me to go there come back and worse because is not turning up my daughter is 15 months old and I pay her money for my daughter thanks help or good advice appreciated thanks
My boyfriend have 2 kids witch I may never see he is only allowed to seen them when am not around.
He cant even have them for holidays but he pays child support every month
How can I help him
The ex girlfriend wont allow him to see then cause he is with me she no longer live with them due to her work out of the city but even the lady who looks after them wont give the kids to him cause of me in he's life this is really breaking him
What can I do to help solve this problem
Like Alan, the time leading up to that seemed happy with her talking about trying for our second child, planning holidays, etc.
July 5 last year was the last time I saw my daughter. Middle of July, my ex packed her up and disappeared. I have been struggling ever since just to try and get to see my little girl
My wife left me out of the blue about 10 weeks ago taking my 1 year old son. The weeks leading up to this were, I thought, happy and we were talking about trying for another baby. She immediately took out a non-molestation order out against me citing continued verbal abuse which is untrue - I was not present at court to contest this as I did not know about it. Subsequently my solicitors appealed to family court with the consession that she could move back into the marital home in return for full discussion regarding access to my son. She has refused all contact on this and actually informed the police of a breach of the non molestation order (an email asking about us getting back together), in which I was arrested and brought before a magistrate. Since she has refused mediation we are now forced to apply to the court to secure access. My wife has also refused mediation in terms of financial settlement for the divorce and this also has to go through court. I have been criminalised in this an represented as a monster. I am hard working and love my son, and, stupidly still care for my wife. It seems that any argument or cross words can be worked into the theories behind verbal abuse. I would like to ask - is there anything I have missed to force interim access to my son?
Wanted some advice for my partner. He has a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship. He has now not seen her for almost 4 years, it's absolutely devastating. To keep it short their relationship was deteriorating and at the end, one day he woke up to find she had gone with his daughter and her other daughter who he had raised as well for 8 years, from London to the north of England. Over the next couple of months he tried to get access and had no luck. She decided to turn round and say she wasn't his! This was clearly out of spite and there isn't a doubt that it could be possible. He obviously suggested a DNA to quash the nonsense, but she failed to turn up twice.
The problem is, when she was born, my partner was working in Germany, he was only 20 at the time and very niave, he wasn't back in the country til she was 5 weeks old and her mother registered her birth without him in her birth certificate. This seems to be the stumbling block now. He went on a downward spiral for 18 months and almost has resigned to not seeing her until she is old enough to make her own decisions. I know he thinks of her everyday and just wants to be back with his little girl.
Can anyone help with any advice on this situation. We know where they are living, or at least the town. Just not sure how to approach this, as he doesn't have his name on the birth certificate. Any help would be really appreciated.
I have not had contact for over 2 years even though I pay maintenance on a monthly basis, always give birthday and xmas cards and gifts. My ex now decided to ask if I wanted contact which fills me with dread, upset and yet cannot stop thinking about my daughter.
Can you advice me of various avenues to get contact via a 3rd party involvement so that any arrangements and handover can be made with a 3rd party and not the mother. Such concerns should never happen when you have a child but due to the potential threat of lies, accusations I must protect myself.
Any advice on various 3rd party help would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks
Blue66
Your case sounds very similar to my partners, but he is 20 months down the line you are looking at going down. He has had to fight so hard he has hardly any energy left. 20 months of not seeing his daughter. Accusations of domestic violence to fight. Cafcass officers being appointed as guardian to his 7 year old. Continued procrastination from ex and the system. Last resort of play therApy for his daughter as the mother has caused a clear case of parental alienation syndrome (I don't want to see daddy) took 4 months to get ex to take daughter to. Which happened to be 2 days before the scheduled court date to assess progress. In a nutshell this system as it stands gives absolutely zero rights to dads. If you can resolve with your ex save yourself a lot of heartache, time and expense and do whatever it takes. These women know the law is on their side and as much as it grates you have to accept it for now if you want to see your child(ren). This country sickens me at times. Good luck with your access
I have still not had any advice are you able to reply? Cheers,
Please help me.. My ex partner has stopped me having access since 21st April 2015. She has told me the reason she has stopped this is because I'm not a good dad which is not true at all. I've threatened mediation to her last week and she has told me up front she won't be going to the meeting which is fine because I have now said I will take her court but there are a few things worrying me. In are relationship we used to argue all the time and there was one occasion she got me arrested as I had to restrain her as she was being violent towards me but unfortunately it left a small mark on her arm which she told the police and ended up me being arrested. I got a warning for this last year and no further action was taken. She has also told me that she will tell the court that I'm a vile person who is not safe around my child which is not true. I have moved out of the house and now have my own place. I have never missed a day to pick her up even tho she still says I have. She is not very well I think she has by pollar but this has not been diagnosed due to her not admitting it. What do you think the likelyhood outcome would be with this due to my record I have? And also is there anyway I can class this as an emergency to court as I have no contact to my daughter at all! Thanks,
My ex partner has made false allegations then stopped contact with our now 7 yr old son on 3 occasions in the last 5 years.
I had previously relied on Legal Aid funded solicitors to successfully fight for contact, but I recently found myself with had no one to turn to as Legal Aid was no longer available, even though I work full time and pay Child Maintenance.
I did not know where to start as I simply could not afford legal fees, and could not get an appointment at the one remaining part-time Citizens Advice office in my area.
With nowhere to turn to, I resorted to doing some online research on representing myself and after a day or two I stumbled upon this unique website.
Crucial information is presented in a simple, easy to understand manner, and without a catch.
The accurate information I gathered here (which forms to fill in etc) enabled me to make an Enforcement Order application.
We had a preliminary hearing and things are looking positive.
I have also applied for custody based on emotional abuse as my son suffers each time my ex partner stops contact for no valid reason.
Thank you and good luck to all geniune separated dads!
My 12 year old son wants to spend more time with me but my ex has said that if I don't have him at the weekends then I can't see him at all. I have had to explain to my son that he can't just move in with me because of the legal consequences and she will play merry hell because if I see my son more it will reduce her CSA. In a nutshell what options are open to me? I cannot afford legal counsel as paying CSA diminishes my ability to pay for it.
Can my son do anything himself as he is pretty desperate and I don't know what to tell him?
My ex partner has stopped me having access since last Thursday. She has told me the reason she has stopped this is because I'm not a good dad which is not true at all. I've threatened mediation to her today and she has told me up front she won't be going to the meeting which is fine because I have now said I will take her court but there are a few things worrying me.
In are relationship we used to argue all the time and there was one occasion she got me arrested as I had to restrain her as she was being violent towards me but unfortunately it left a small mark on her arm which she told the police and ended up me being arrested. I got a warning for this last year and no further action was taken. She has also told me that she will tell the court that I'm a vile person who is not safe around my child which is not true. I have moved out of the house and now have my own place. I have never missed a day to pick her up even tho she still says I have. She is not vey well I think she has by pollar but this has not be diagnosed due to her not admitting it. What do you think the likelyhood outcome would be with this due to my record I have?
Thanks,
What reasons would a judge consider to reduce this time ?
My daughters 13 months old and her dad took her every week from 4 months old for about 6 weeks in which a lot happened I wasn't happy about so I stopped it. I then allowed him see her every week with me being there and we would take her out for the day however he lost his temper on numerous occasions and was involved with drugs so I stopped this and let him see her from then on at soft play with myself there. A couple of months ago he got attacked and it was all through drugs and I also found out he was dealing drugs therefore I feel my daughter isn't safe around him so I stopped all contact. I found out today he's went to a lawyer and I'm terrified he'll get access as all I've got is a few text messages of him admitting he deals drugs and photos of him he sent me when he got attacked. Could you give me advice on what could happen ?
Many thanks
Thanks
i am now looking to reduce this.
he hasn't been violent ( had a couple arguments when i told him this was my intention to reduce to every other weekend) but nothing major.
he doesn't drink or do drugs in fact i have said in mediation that he is a very good dad.
he is threatening to take me to court over me wanting to reduce his time and says he will go for shared custody.. he lives 2 mins from me and my daughters nursery.. he runs his own business and is flexible so is there a chance that a judge would give this.
i have a new partner and am pregnant again and am worried that with the contact he has my new child will not have a good bond with the sibling.. PLEASE ADVICE ME thankypou
My brother was arrested on 5th November 2014 for domestic violence on the 2nd November him and his wife were bickering nothing out the ordinary as this was a normal thing for them both marriage was under allot of pressure due to her in security it all started when my brother didn’t like a pair pf shoes he had bought for there youngest daughter as they had a heel and he felt that at the age of 2 a heel was not suitable as when she was a baby there was an hip situation anyway both were getting on fine and in banter my brother poured water over her to lighten the mood and just to relax what had happened she a few dates later reported him for domestic violence and he was arrested he has never denied the fact he poured water on her but on Monday 16th he was found guilty and will be sentenced on 7th April. During this case his wife changed her statement twice and said she was grabbed by the neck then the chest and still the court didn’t believe him that pouring a glass of water was in banter.
On 20th April we had another case with regards to children my sister in law has now made 32 allegations with regards to the children which come under the section 37 it has been 6 months that he hasn’t seen his children aged 5 and 2 and the court have declined access for another 3 months as they are now waiting for him to be sentenced. She has advised that she doesn’t want the children seeing him or the family as has made further allegation with regards to the family it has been 6 months and possibly another 3 months before he sees the children he is happy to go through supervised access but every corner we go to seems to be closed doors surely as a father he must have rights to see the children it feels like she in control and we don’t even get supervised rights. As you can appreciate the children are young and it is destroying my brother and the children even though the social have advised that he is fine to have supervised visit.
This is only a highlight to what has happen we have followed every rule and regulation yet not getting anyway. My sister in law is white and we come from an Indian back ground and do feel that it against us due to colour as we are not being heard it is just important for the father to have contact the hearing is now got to the district judge please are you able to help in way or form.
My brother was arrested on 5th November 2014 for domestic violence on the 2nd November him and his wife were bickering nothing out the ordinary as this was a normal thing for them both marriage was under allot of pressure due to her in security it all started when my brother didn’t like a pair pf shoes he had bought for there youngest daughter as they had a heel and he felt that at the age of 2 a heel was not suitable as when she was a baby there was an hip situation anyway both were getting on fine and in banter my brother poured water over her to lighten the mood and just to relax what had happened she a few dates later reported him for domestic violence and he was arrested he has never denied the fact he poured water on her but on Monday 16th he was found guilty and will be sentenced on 7th April. During this case his wife changed her statement twice and said she was grabbed by the neck then the chest and still the court didn’t believe him that pouring a glass of water was in banter.
On 20th April we had another case with regards to children my sister in law has now made 32 allegations with regards to the children which come under the section 37 it has been 6 months that he hasn’t seen his children aged 5 and 2 and the court have declined access for another 3 months as they are now waiting for him to be sentenced. She has advised that she doesn’t want the children seeing him or the family as has made further allegation with regards to the family it has been 6 months and possibly another 3 months before he sees the children he is happy to go through supervised access but every corner we go to seems to be closed doors surely as a father he must have rights to see the children it feels like she in control and we don’t even get supervised rights. As you can appreciate the children are young and it is destroying my brother and the children even though the social have advised that he is fine to have supervised visit.
This is only a highlight to what has happen we have followed every rule and regulation yet not getting anyway. My sister in law is white and we come from an Indian back ground and do feel that it against us due to colour as we are not being heard it is just important for the father to have contact the hearing is now got to the district judge please are you able to help in way or form.
Hi, my ex's solicitor sent me a letter a month ago suspending my access to my 10-year-old son giving no reasons at all. She also asked me to submit a C79 for enforcement of a contact order, as there was an existing contact ordeR. I have submitted a C79 successfully myself, and I have a date for the first hearing coming up very soon. I am self-representing. I don't qualify for any financial help and can't afford a solicitor, and I'm not sure about using a McKenzie Friend. I believe that for the first hearing I need to write a statement setting out very clearly, and in chronological order the nature of the breaches, I believe I need to have this ready in triplicate and should be no more than 2 sides of A4.
Question 1: who do I give this to? e.g. do I give all three copies to the court usher on the day of the hearing when I arrive, if not who do I give this to?
Question 2: do I need to include evidence e.g. emails and texts as part of my written statement?
As things are very complicated, I think the court will only allow supervised access but I'm not sure as my ex's solicitor will be strongly requesting no access as this happened 5 years ago, and her solicitor was successful. For an interim order for supervised access until the next hearing takes place. I am hoping and wishing the judge does not agree with my ex's solicitor for a complete suspension of all contact until the next hearings.
Question 3: Should I ask for a minimum of supervised access to my son at a court designated site, or is this not advisable? If not advisable what should I request what I want which is supervised access?
When I mentioned to my ex wife that I wanted to reduce my monthly payments in easter and summer, she said that she would stop me from seeing them and will make alternative childcare arrangemnets.
Can she legally do that? I have PR as we were married for 5 years and had both our children while we were married.
Thanks
Ive been trying to gain direct contact for nearly 6 years
My son was only 3 weeks and taken away from me.
My ex divorced me 2 months later .i then contacted the court for child contact.it was denied due to domestic violence. I tried to prove my self in everyway that it was all fabricated.but i was denied direct contact.after 2 years again in court i was denied direct contact due to my son having reflux problem .straight away after that my ex took my son on holiday where there is less medical help available ..i was then ordered by the judge to complete a dvp ,parenting programme,and a pip course which i have completed up to date now.im applying again now .im worried what if the judge still d3nys direct contact.
Im his father.i have parental resposabilities(which i have no access to).my son is turning 6 .i want to be part of his life.i want my son to know that im his father and im there for him.but im worried .any one with any advice
Where to start er...
My ex partner split with me just before Xmas
All was well with payments an visits
Just got my new place sorted
Then all hell broke loose
Last Thursday stops access
Find out weds she has moved over 250miles away
2days after that's I get a text saying she has spoken with mitigation team an waiting for a reply....
This has happened so fast my heads in a real spin
My daughters only 8months old an its ripping me apart :(
So what I'm wonderi is do I have to go threw the mediation process again or do I go straight back to court?
i could really do with some advice.
i spit from my partner approx 4 years ago and have 1 son with her. i pay her maintenance roughly the same as CSA would charge however i also pay for his hobbies, but him clothes and also have him overnight on average 3 nights per week. my ex also has a daughter who i also treat as my own take her on holiday with us invite her friends with us etc however shes getting to that age where she doesnt want to see me anymore and ive made it clear that shes always welcome but i wouldnt force her (she's nearly 12) the problem i have is that i take my son to hobbies (football, swimming) every week and she then says he wont be coming etc. ruining my plans and he plays for a team which lets them down. i recently had arranged a family party for him to attend which was agreed but on the day she said he's not coming.
What would happen if i stopped paying her the maintenance money? its not paid through the CSA its a private arrangement. I cant think of any other way to make her see sense and she does this every so often usually when shes in a new relationship. I cant afford to be paying solicitors fees etc and would rather my money benefited my son.
Any advice would be appreciated it feels like she wants to be in control even if its not for my sons benefit
Thanks
Geoff
I took her home for the first time over Xmas so she could open her presents and none of my family were there as I wouldn't risk going against the order. Later that night I got a text from my ex saying she was stopping contact because my daughter apparently told her she saw all off my family and cried because I supposedly told her not to tell mummy. This is a complete lie as nobody was there. My ex has issues with my family and has tried to prevent them seeing her.
now I'm worried she will stop contact this week...Can she do this???
In our case we have sorted something for Xmas so we get to see him for a couple of days at least.
In my opinion the most important thing is to ensure the child is not caught up in the middle etc and made to take sides. I had a long conversation the other night with my son on the phone and explained how adults sometimes cant agree which means others get hurt. I want him to know how much I love him and one day he will be able to decide what and where he wants to be.
I hope you get things sorted, all the best, Burger
My son has just shown me a lengthy text stating that no contact is to be made and he will have to take legal action if he wants to see his son. Tomorrow is my grandson's Christmas play and my son and I were hoping to attend - Cory the poor child is 4 years old.
She has made some outlandish accusations and quite frankly they are the ravings of a control freak. I notice that previous messages my son has not previously disclosed to me talk about my grandson not being fed properly, not getting exercise, my son letting me babysit if he goes out, playing unsuitable games and not enough money to support a child on her own.
Especially about not having enough money...
I am a civil servant and my son is a newly qualified teacher.
My partner (not my son's mother), says she saw through this piece of work the first time they met years ago as manipulative, pushy, sly and an attention seeker.
Over time this has all come to pass. My grandson cries when he has to return at the end of a weekend and is the same as my son when he was little - '100% his dad' as people have said.
The above information states to write a letter in the first instance. Is there a template we could use though we do not know where she is living, only the general area?
'Control' is something I have already seen quite a fair bit in my limited research thus far. My son's ex appears to be extremely controlling and attention seeking. She has all my son's details since the separation but will not divulge anything to us.
She has frequently complained the CSA have not set a sensible figure for maintenance.
The latest rambling text even says 'it's not about control, it's about you taking your responsibilities seriously'. Also 'why is your dad babysitting?'.
I'm his grandad for Christ's sake, my grandson is the centre of the universe as far as I'm concerned.
What a mess!!
Are we being unreasonable? I don't think so.
What are the rules with regards contact details? I know this is mightily unfair on my son but why should I surrender every time she wants something? A few weeks back she wanted copies of my P45 to make sure I am paying enough maintenance for my Son.
It appears to be a controlling thing...still!
Any comments welcome as it is making my marriage strained as well relationship with my son.
Thanks Burger
I am writing on behalf of my son.
He has a 3yr old daughter whom he loves very much. His ex partner never put his name on her birth certificate.
An arragement was worked out that his daughter would stay with us every weekend. This slowly went down to just a saturday. My son pays his maintenance every week without fail.
Problems have now come up because we wont dance to her tune. I.e. lend her money or run around for her. She is denying access to my son and ourselves. Does anyone know where we stand leagally?
I have been separated from the Mother of my Child (5) for 3 years now.
For the last two years, she has declined over night stays with my Son. She only allows me to see him on Saturdays, which entails an hour journey to pick him up for 10:00am, and her request is that I have him back before 6:45 for his 7:00pm 'apparent' bedtime!! So that's 4 hours travelling and 5 or so hours bonding time. I pay CSA to her every month for my Son's needs, I also pay for travel to see my Son. She has recently moved address and is not willing to tell me where my Son is now living, but yet I give her money! Can I refuse CSA payments until she shares this information. Surely I have legal rights to know this information.
I do have contact with my Son's school, off my own back as she does not tell me a thing. Missed his Nativity play last year because she told me the day before, clearly knowing I wouldnt be able to make it due to not enough notice for work! So I have made my own dealings with the school for them to send me weekly newsletters and regular updates on my Son's progress.
There was even one time, that the trains were delayed in bringing my Son home, she moaned about it over the phone a number of times saying I was lying, she threatened to call the police, for what reason I do not know! So I ended up forwarding her the live train information.
I have kept all her messages, printed out in a folder. I have receipts of what I do for my Son, travel, gifts etc, anything that has relevance to my Son.
She took my Son holiday this year, without even talking to me about it. Yet, I went on Holiday this year also, asked my Son if he would like to go on Holiday with Daddy and he was happy to be potentially going away and spending time with his Father. So when it came to asking his mother, she declined at first instance without even considering it.
She has also blocked my number from calling her. So if and when I do have my son, should there be emergency, I am unable to contact her yet it will probably be my fault for not informing her!! Not quite sure how that logic works!
I try my absolute best to stand by my Son, but keep on getting backed into a corner by his Mother! But I am not going to give up! Thats not me! He is also my Son. Not just her Son.
She has recently contacted the csa as she felt I wasn't paying enough maintenance. I also cover the costs of the 280 mile round trip I make to collect and drop off my son. The csa have set the amount to less than she has been getting. As you can imagine she has gone mental. The payments are due to start on the 1st of December. All I've had from her are abusive texts begging for money. I've explained it's in the hands of the csa but it hasn't stopped the abuse. My mum passed away a year ago and my ex seems to think that maintenance is worked out on any inheritance I may have received. To date I've not received anything. She has now told me I'm not allowed to see my son unless I give her more money. Do I have any rights? I have an appointment with a solicitor next week to get access rights in writing but that could take months. Can she legally stop me? I've kept all texts between ourselves as some form of evidence. Any feedback is appreciated.
can somebody help myex wife is denying me access to my daughter for 6 months now making every excuse possible to me . but saying a different story to her family i cant affordto take her to court as the csa are leaving me with hardly anything on . she has taken everything from me including my car and using my daughter as a weapon to punish me for not going back to her after SHE had the affair ... what can i do can i get legal aid ..
My daughter is 10. My daughters mother and I split up about 8 years ago. Over the past 8 years we have kept things amicable where we both agreed a financial figure that I pay monthly. We also agreed contact would need to be as frequent as possible.
To cut this 8 year story short - I now have got to the point where I have to travel to Wales from London if I want to see my daughter (I don't mind that) but very often my daughter will become "ill" or there would be something come up that would be more interesting for my daughter. I understand these things happen but it happens so much I could go three or four months without seeing my daughter. So, the way I see it is I am not being denied access but yet I still do not get to see my daughter. What is this categorised as and can I do anything about it.
We have been to mediation but my daughters mother has failed to accomplish what her 'actions' were from these meetings.
if she isn't opposing contact will he be able to go to court under the cirtcumstances
When I picked up my daughter, I asked where did she go any where nice, as she had indicated that she was out for the day. My daughter replied no they only went out for an hour.... To which I regrettably replied that her mother was one evil F nasty B as it came out I new I had said something wrong, this upset my daughter however after an hour she calmed down. We then went on to a brilliant week I dropped her off and everything was fine..
when I went to pick her up two weeks she said she didn't want to come with me which broke me.... I said please call she said she would ! now I have no contact as ex has now blocked all my numbers.
My partner now gets text through but still I'm told that my daughter will not talk to me. Can anyone help with this please
I want to drive up but feel like a stalker , im angry , cross , upset .
a date has been set for me to see my son but why should I have to wait . her solicitor said that my ex told her that me and my son had a really good bond .
why can women get away with just taking the children . ive missed my sons 1st day at school and now a few months of his life . its so hard .
she left me and the children but wanted one of them to live with her .my 15yo daughted wants to stay with me and my 6yo son wants to stay with me. i am affraid to let my 6yo son visit her as she may try to keep him !!. can she do that ??
We know how some women can use the children as punishment against you.
Hopefully in time some of these women will realise that the kids need their daddies too.
Peace.
My wife has now limited this to 3 hours a week. I make a round trip of about 6 hours to see my daughter. Will I be able to do anything to get more access to my daughter through a legal channel. Even if it's only limited for the first few weeks l
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO? ANY HELP FROM ANYBODY
Please could any of you help me with advice
For myself and my husband who have been the next consistant thing in their lives we get nothing.
Something needs to change...As i read above it should be equal till proven otherwise. There are bad mums out there. She is living in a cramped house with her family and the girls dont see us. She has been estranged several times from her family and yet they are the ones she turns to.
However once again like a yo-yo contact has been stopped again & this time it has been 6 weeks... it has previously been 4 weeks... 3 weeks ect ect ...& we are told constantly by the mother we cant do anything about it as she never put my husband on the birth certificate....But we are now wanting to go for a contact order through the courts, Obviously over 4 & half years we adore the little boy & he does us. we have worried previously over his safety & the babysitters she has left them with???
I also read about the financial support in part of your information guide. We do not pay any financial support to the mother .... the reason we do not give any financial help to the mother is because it would not go to the little boy. It would go onto cider or strong lager... So we make sure that every penny gets spent on the little boy. I save all of the receipts for clothes ,toys, outings, meals.. he gets everything he wants.. We cant let him take his flat screen TV or xbox home as the mother has had 4 taken so far by burglars????? I do send the new clothes down & trainers ect... & coats but we never see them again so I have a full wardrobe for him as well... So is this proof enough of financial support ??? when he went on holiday last year we sent down £100 spending money.. We then paid for him in full to go on holiday with our family for a week. We paid for weekly football sessions & every week he likes a chineese so he gets to pick... I have tickets for the circus for fun fairs ect... i would say on average I spend about £40 a week on the little boy.... This is not including £300 at Christmas & £100 on his birthday...But he gets every penny.... My husband was out of work for a long time so I was the main breadwinner.,.... But my main issue is can this be classed as financial support???? as I have all the proof. ..... I am about to get the court papers for a contact order but need your opinion on whether we have done enough to be important enough to this child.. I really feel that he will be suffering down to not seeing us but I need to know whether we have any rights thanks you
Its time the goverrment looked at the laws and they were changed most dads are
hands on and in some cases as my sons a better parent than the mother.
GIVE MEN A BETTER DEAL
For her to absonder with the my two kids taking them out of school and away from their family and friends, missing 6 hospital appointments that the kids need to go to, she has also denied me contact and won't let me speak to them over the phone.
But yet I'm finding it so distressing and upsetting that because she is the mother she get special treatment. If I did what she did if have a court order on me and a record no doubt.
I just want my kids to be back in school and back with their friends and loving family.
Just a heart broken dad. Looking for advice.
I'm being denied access to my son despite repeated requests and offers from my solicitor . The courts have come back with a date in 2 months time for a Cafcass meeting so it looks like i may have to apply for an ICO.
Is it the cost of a court fee (normally around £220) plus solicitor time .
bs from her and the mental abusive she is doing with her actions to my little girl
what should i do ,i live in the us
i seperated from my partner by taking a flight away from the country and staying away until the dust settled (2 yrs 9mth) i was in an abusive relationship where i was forced to do or be beaten up or better stiill a frabricated story issued out to th court enabling her accsess to a molestation order. Now im back and on my first attempt to contribute to my children upkeep she has replied me with threats and no compromise. is it possible for me to obtain an interim court order to see the kids or does this 2yr 9 mths away eliminate me from this
previledge?
About year ago my ex didn't want to give me any contact with my boys.
I had to go through the court and I get court order guarantee my direct contact with my children.
Now after nearly year she just stopped my contact (with no reason) claiming that social service advice been given...
I haven't got any information (letter, phone call) from social service what the reason of this prohibition is as same as I haven't got any idea why she did that...
Is social service have any rights to stop my direct contact just like this even if I have got a court order?
I have been trying to pay maintenance since we split up and she even agreed to pay back what she had stole but when I drew up a maintenance agreement she refused to fill it in properly. She then said she didn't need or want anything from me but when she found out I was moving into a new place she demanded money and threatened to go to csa. I set up a standing order straight away but it turned out she had already contacted them as the dates on the letter proves. I had been getting regular access to see my children until contact with csa as now she is only letting me see that every now and again and won't give a reason (presumably to get more money). How do I go about getting more access to my children? I don't care about the money that's a separate issue, I just want to spend time with my kids!
I have no answer to why I cannot see my daughter but I do think it is revenge for getting in a relationship a few months after our split. With that we have tried resolving things between ourselves and that hasn't worked as she will focus on the break up rather than the child.
Since then I have applied for mediation in which she didn't respond. From that I had to get a FM1 form and a C100 from so I could make my court application.
I have been to court for the initial hearing since then and I have been given an hour a week in a contact centre for 2 months, this is upsetting when there is no safeguarding issues or any other reason for me to not be involved with my child.
I am waiting to start the hour contact in a contact centre with my child. However court has gave me another date to review the contact.
My understanding is that potentially I could progress to half days, full days then over night stays.
What can I do or say at the review to increase time with my child? I am currently seeking legal representation but I am worried that I will lose access or not develop further due to my lack of knowledge in this situation. I am worried that my current solicitor isn't interested on the outcome either.
Have you got any advice in the upcoming contact at the centre and the court review?
Thank You.
So how do I stand in court if he takes me to court considering I allow him to see the children and he doesn't pay maintenance? How would he stand in court with this situation?
If law states in children's rights:- "Where you are separated from one or both of your parents (for example, where your parents have separated), the Government must make sure that you have contact with the parent you are separated from, unless this is not in your best interests (for example, where it might cause you harm to see your parent).
Now my children are 2 and almost 8 years old. Does it not do more harm to a child to not let them have contact with the other parent?? Surely the resident parent/guardian is not complying with the Child's rights which in turn affects the child's mental state, therefore an absent parent is doing more harm than they think. My daughters' never even met me yet my son has. What do you think he'll be talking about when the subject arises about their father? Won't that affect my daughter as she doesn't know me? Now she'll want to know me.
Even if we continuously go to court, am I not wasting money which could've been used to bring up my children?
The law doesn't take into account that not seeing my children affects me which in turn affects my work. If I'm not working then I'm not paying taxes to a government which is supposed to be doing what's best for all it's people, not just our children.
And half our wages go towards rent, if you're not a homeowner, taxes, more taxes, food, bills, travel, more taxes. It's a wonder this country is still breathing, as I'm sure they'll tax us for that too.
They say if your not paying towards your child's upbringing, you haven't got much chance of ever seeing your children.
All those single parents who don't get financial support from the other parent get their child benefits from government. Where do you think the government gets it from?? Our tax money!! Therefore I'm paying for my children to be educated by a failed system, to be protected by a failed justice system. I am contributing towards my children so why can't we be allowed to have the right to know each other without having the hassle of going through court proceedings through a justice system that is damaging this country to kingdom come??
Steve
Up and drop them off every weekend. I'm paying her money every month as have asked her nicely if she could do some of the journey has she drives and I don't so I'm having to rely on trains which are expensive. I'm really struggling all I want is access to see my children. She has started saying that the only way I'll see them is if I go through the courts . I can't afford to do this what can I do.
Im going through all this for the second time and not being able to not see my son over xmas just because of my ex, So i feel for all of you who are going through the same.
chin up and a merry christmas to you all
I entered into a new relationship 6 months ago and now feel the time is right to introduce my girlfriend to my daughter and have informed my ex of intentions. She is now denying me access as long as the girlfriend is around.
I suggested that the 3 of us meet up to agree conditions etc.
This meeting did not go down well with my ex making excessive demands and eventually walking out with a tirade of verbal abuse!!
Where do I stand?
He also so has medical problem so he needs to go London hospital( have sent here a letter from solicitor saying what I want I think she will not agree so will take her to court might even go for full custody what would my chances be ( this is not the fist time
She has stopped me
Thanks
When is someone going to wake up and realize the children wait far to long are some are teenagers by the time the mothers have worked the system it's a total waste of time!.
I was going to give up and sacrifice my life with my children as it was affecting me too much but I thought no!, this woman is vile and evil and one day the kids will see this so I'm sticking on in there!. it hurts like hell but hey it's worth it, I am just about to be alienated from my sons 8th birthday in October and then again from Christmas but live in hope that one day the spineless courts will wake up and see they are helping a nasty vile woman work the system.
Con :(
My ex is abusive both mentally, verbally and physically.
She has the system in harmony with all her lies and twisted take on reality..
If I do not comply with everything she says my contact is withdrawn...I am told I am a useless ******** **** of a dad when all I try and do is the best for my children, they are my life.
Why is there not a recognised condition for this behaviour that could be easily diagnosed and give the father more of a say without his name being dragged through the mud without proof or grounding?
Why are the courts so out of touch and seem to think that the mother is always the best option for the children when blatantly all these type have are their own agenda with no regard for the children or father.
It truly is disgusting this country cannot get to grips.
I feel for every father in my position ...
It is totally heartbreaking and a daily torture slowly eating away at your heart and soul...
Sometimes I feel like walking away and giving up, that's what she wants I'm sure as long as she still keeps the maintenance.
I never will though, never.
Good luck to you all...one things for sure...we really need it.
Is that possible? I think with me being behind in my child support payments the court might actually side with her. I'm working as hard as I can to find work, but am womdering what I should do in the meantime?
I have never known someone to wait nearly 6months like me just for the lsc to make a dissision for me to get legal aid and i feel that my solicitor has let me down because he keeps on providing wrong information to the lsc which is causing delays from lsc.
My ex- is stopping me from seeing my daughter by putting in false allegations about domestic abuse/violence which now she has put a stop on me seeing my daughter who is nearly 3 yrs old and the courts are asking for a section 7 report from the social worker.
I am so disstressed and upset that a person can lie about something like that so they can stop you seeing your child.You ppl who do the same are sick and need help urgently because false allegations are not normal and to stop you seeing your child
I find it amusing all these fathers are saying the same thing bipolar/manipulative etc. Can imagine my ex saying the same and does though no smoke without fire and I am certain they are all failing to mention certain aspects of their behaviour/actions or lifestyle and attitude to mothers as apparently these men have never done wrong and ALL these mental women just think yeh lets not let them see their children.I think not your attitude towards your ex is a reflection to that mother of what you are like as a person and would not instill faith or trust to see my child. Bipolar and depression are serious though treatable mental illnesses and if they do have them as you state where is the understanding and compassion to help or support the person who is raising your child dont seem like nice people to me. I have no mental health issues and regard myself as a nice person a Staff Nurse in Oncology though as my ex is plausible to others. He has a drink problem hidden and anger issues though again us mothers just do it to you innocent men. Dont think so have a look at your self.
Finally i had court orders put in place to get every second weekend, but the mother still continues to manipulate the childrens opinion and holds to the orders to the letter even though i have offerd to collect the kids on a friday afternoon saving her two hours driving on a saturday (the collection Day)
as it takes me a day to detune the kids before they are close to normal again.
I think while one parent remains unhappy with their life they will continue to try and mess up the other parents life via the kids at any cost
they live in birmingham i was wondering if a mckenzie friend could get in contact wid me
How can she get away with this, i have 2 children myself and i wouldnt dream of keeping them from their families. She has cut the children off from everyone they know except for the guy she left their father for and herself!!
Uk law needs to be shaken up and mothers stopped!!
I wish someone would have told me how important it was to have your name on the childs birth certificate.
My ex partner said we could add it later as he had to be registered as an emergency as he was very ill,he is three now.
I Have been denied contact and been told she would oppose any application that she would oppose any parental right application I make .
My son and I were with each other everyday ,I havent seen or heard his voice now since November 2011.
I Have never known someone to lie as much as I did when I read the reasons the ex put for not reinstating contact,I never knew the child,I never showed any interest and that I will not live long enough so that it would be unfair on the child as I will probably die in the next 4 to 7 years,
I have nightmares at night my Son crying for his Daddy.
I am terminally ill and doubt very much If I will ever see or hear him again.
What a cruel ,cruel thing the Human Race have become,nothing could hurt more than the loss of my son ,not even the Illness that will kill me.
And my saving grace is that im glad that I will not be a member of a society that treats its Children like this.
God Save them all
Pregnant shes 19 and at the time we found out I said wasn't my aim to be a dad at 21 but it's you decision but I will stand by you no matter. I couldn't have a child in this world nOt know me as their dad. I went brought a family car and a pram and spent hundreds on other bits for the baby. But two months before the baby was due me and the ex had a silly argumeant over nothing and we made up everything was fine with us. But then suddenly her mum and brother started ringing txting me turning up at my house saying il be lucky to see my baby threatening me and calling me every name under the sun till I argued back. My ex agreed they was in the wrong for all these things but hated me for calling her mum a few things. When my daughter was born I was allowed to see her for a hour at the hospital. Where after leaving I got loads of abuse from the exs mum having ago at me for crying when holding my
Child for the first time when actually I just got very emotional meeting
Her got the first time she was amazing.
She's now 3 months old I haven't seen her since after asking everyday. Iv been arrested for assult witch apprentally happened 5 and half months ago witch charges was droped. I asked can I pay maintenance where I got told by the exs dad f*** off we don't want anything from you we don't want you in her life and we will make it as differcult as possible. So I opened up a child's saving accout and pay into every month. Iv got my first hearing next month for p.r and access even If I win am I on a heart breaking road to no where :(
If anyone knows it will be a great help.
Thank you
contact has with my daughter has been intermittent ... both of us have made mistakes but mainly at the start of the break up.. for over a year now.. I try and make contact with my daughter and I get told she is busy.. she is on holiday.. her family(partner mom and dad) have her today! tried doing everything she wants.. gave her more money when she requested it! so I stopped paying for her.. cause she said she wanted to go through the CSA ... so she felt safer... cause I admit I did used to say I wouldn't pay her any more until she let me see my daughter...so I said OK lets go through the CSA... because she said she would sort out proper visitation .. so we do down that route.. she receives one payment and finds out that she isn't getting as much as she thinks she is going to get ... and believe it or not my daughter has a full schedule again and no time for her dad!
Not bad for a woman that said she was on the pill ..and decided to have a child with someone she I didn't know! How do I get any type of access ... cause am sick of being blackmailed!
His family still have contact with her, and I never prevented him from seeing her, but he has now suddenly requested I 'cancel' CSA, and he will see her and pay regular maintenance. He has not seen her for 3 and half years now.
For this reason, I won't agree to any contact between him and my daughter now. She is a happy little girl, and his reasons for changing his mind are not about her, but more about him only seeing her if he is forced to pay. A parent should see their child because they want to, not because they are forced to. She knows what her father looks like as I have shown her pictures, and I tell her he loves her, but it is highly likely he will not be consistent in her life.
There are many dad's out there who love their children and make fantastic fathers, and it's sad that these men don't all have contact... but my daughters father is not a nice man, and his relationship breakdown with our daughter was his own doing.
I have always paid my support payments and now after ten years she is taking me back to court for more money? I don't know what I can do, I have a family to feed and the courts seem very one sided. Apparently the fact that I never get to see them doesn't matter... so stressed, any advice will help.
Rick
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